Chapter 15 Chapter fifteen

When the August 13th Anti-Japanese War began, it fought in Shanghai for three consecutive months, and many wealthy people panicked and fled to the interior.Manzhen's mother is in Suzhou, and people in Suzhou are also in panic.Although Mrs. Gu was not a rich person, she was also affected by their swarm. They all fled to the upper reaches of the Yangtze River, and she also fled to their hometown in Lu'an.By this time their old lady had passed away.Mrs. Gu's daughter-in-law has been in her fifties and sixties, and she usually has complaints behind her back, but the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have always endured hardships together, and there is a feeling of old companionship.The old lady died, and she was the only one left, and the children were not around. One girl was studying nursing in Suzhou, and the two younger ones were sponsored by their elder brother to go to school.Weimin is teaching in Shanghai, and he is also married.

Mrs. Gu returned to Lu'an. Their family had two tile-roofed houses outside the city. They used to live in the graveyard, but now they take it back for their own use.Not long after she came back, Yujin came to see her at her home. He wanted to ask her about Manzhen's recent situation. He wrote to Manzhen many times, but failed to deliver them and returned them.Because he knew about the entanglement between Manzhen and Zhu's family, he felt that Mrs. Gu was always begging for perfection. Even Manzhen's long-term imprisonment by Zhu's family seemed to have her approval.Regardless of whether she had the heart to betray her daughter or was fooled, Yu Jin treated her with contempt anyway.After meeting, his expression was also very cold. When Mrs. Gu saw him for the first time, she was extremely affectionate like meeting an old friend in a foreign land.After talking for a while, Yujin asked, "Where is Manzhen now?"Mrs. Gu said: "She's still in Shanghai, she's married, oh, Man Lu is dead, you know, Manzhen married Hongcai."Mrs. Gu said a few words very coquettishly, as if it was a natural thing for Manzhen to marry her brother-in-law. It is expected that Yujin may not know the hidden truth inside, but she is a little guilty about this matter, thinking that it is a bad family, So I just mentioned it like this, and then I went off to talk about it elsewhere.

When Yujin heard the news, although it wasn't completely unexpected, it was still very exciting.He really felt pity for Manzhen.Mrs. Gu talked to him on her own, but he submissively and perfunctorily said a few words, then presumed that there was something else to do, and left.He's been here just once.I don’t come to pay New Year’s greetings during Chinese New Year, and I don’t come to visit during festivals.Mrs. Gu was very angry and thought to herself: It's too unreasonable. I didn't expect him to be so snobbish. He didn't always live in our house when he came to Shanghai. Now that I'm poor, I don't even recognize my relatives.

Here comes the war.Mrs. Gu has been uncertain and wants to go to Shanghai, but the road is difficult at this time. She is alone, she is getting old, and there is no one to take care of her along the way.Later, even if I wanted to leave, I couldn't. Shanghai had already fallen by this time.News of the fall of Lu'an was canceled in the newspapers. Lu'an was originally a small place, and the news was published in the newspapers in just a few lines, and it will not be mentioned again from then on.Manzhen and Weimin Jiemin were naturally worried, wondering if Mrs. Gu would be safe there.Weimin received a letter from Mrs. Gu. In fact, the letter was sent before the Japanese Occupation, so I still don't know her current situation, but I still passed the letter on to Jiemin, and asked him to send it. Go show it to Manzhen.Jiemin is now working in a bank. He joined this bank after only one year of college.On this day when he came to Zhu's house, Rong Bao liked this little uncle the most, as soon as he came, he stood in front of him and refused to leave.The weather was hot, and Jiemin was only wearing a white shirt and yellow khaki shorts.As soon as he sat down, Rong Bao was snuggling beside Manzhen, and suddenly he turned around and called Mom.Manzhen answered, huh?Rong Bao was silent again, after a while, he raised his face and said softly: Mom, there is a scar on my uncle's leg.Manzhen looked at Jiemin's knee, couldn't help laughing and said: I remember that your scar was never this big before.When a person grows up, the scar also grows up.Jiemin lowered his head, touched his knee, and said with a smile: This was when he was learning to ride a bicycle and fell down.Having said that, he suddenly thought about it.Manzhen asked him if he was busy in the bank, he just responded casually, then suddenly he clenched his fist and thumped his leg, and said with a smile: I said I have something to tell you!When I see you, I forget.The other day I met a guy, guess who?Met Shen Shijun.It's also because Shijun taught him to ride a bicycle when he learned to ride a bicycle at that time, so he remembered it immediately.Seeing that Manzhen was in a daze, as if he didn't understand what he said, he said again: Shen Shijun.He came to our bank to open an account and has been there twice.Manzhen smiled and said: You still know him.Jie Min said: Otherwise, I wouldn't recognize him. I only remembered his name when I saw it.I didn't even greet him.Of course he didn't recognize me. How old was I when he saw me?After speaking, he pointed to Rong Bao and said with a smile: "It's only as big as him!"Manzhen also laughed.She really wanted to ask him what Shijun was like now, but before he could say a word, Jiemin leaned over, took out Mrs. Gu's letter from his trouser pocket, and handed it to her.He also talked about things in their business, saying that he might be transferred to Zhenjiang next month.After a few incidents, it is difficult for Manzhen to bring up that matter again.In fact, there is nothing embarrassing about it, what's the point of asking, it was her lover many years ago, and now she is in her thirties, the children are so old, especially in the eyes of her younger brother, it is already very Are you old?But just because of this, she was even more embarrassed to show that kind of affection in front of him.

She read her mother's letter, and there was nothing to say, and she said a few words of comfort to each other, but everyone had this feeling in their hearts. If the mother suffered any misfortune, everyone would inevitably blame themselves for not persevering at that time. Ask her to come to Shanghai.Of course Jiemin has no choice, he has no place to live, he lives in the bank dormitory.Weimin's place is also very crowded, there is a total of one side room, and there is a mother-in-law living with them, and his mother-in-law is just this one daughter. When they got married, they agreed to live with them, and they depended on life.Manzhen is different from him, she is not powerless to bring her mother.Since the Occupation, only businessmen can make money easily, so Hongcai's situation has improved in the past two years. He built a new house with two floors and two floors. It would be very convenient for Mrs. Gu to come and live, but Manzhen didn't want her to come .Manzhen usually rarely sees her two younger brothers. She doesn't interact with anyone, and she can't wait to hide herself in a black hole.There was always a sense of impurity in herself.

Hongcai was very disappointed in her.In the past, because she always seemed to be out of reach, I thought about her for two years, and even after I got it, I still felt in a daze, and never felt that he possessed her.Once she married him, after a long time, of course, there would be nothing rare, and she even felt that he was cheated, like a bowl of vegetarian shrimp, which looked like shrimp, but was actually made of Yang Yam, a little wooden No taste either.He still thought first, at least she is not bad on the field, and it is very honorable to have a wife like her, so for a while he often forced her to go out to socialize together, but now she is simply not good enough, and his friends The ladies are not at all outstanding by comparison.She has no intention of grooming at all, her face is yellow, she always looks a little sick, her clothes are out of fashion, she is always silent when she sees people, sometimes she can't hear them, and there is always a kind of stupid in her eyes. look.Hongcai really felt resentful that she would be a different person when she was in his hands.So he always quarreled with her.No matter how loud the quarrel was, Manzhen never told him that she did not marry him voluntarily.She was also afraid of thinking about the past, and thinking about it would only make her sadder.If she didn't mention it, of course he would forget it.Originally, once you get married, the pre-marriage experience becomes insignificant. No matter who pursues who at the beginning, anyway, after you get married, whoever is unreasonable has the upper hand.It was always Hong Cai who provoked her all day long, Manzhen didn't argue with him very much, at all she felt that she was lying in the mud all by herself, and there was nothing else worth worrying about.Nothing really matters.

It has been more than ten days since Lu'an fell, and the exchange has not been processed yet, so the situation there must still be chaotic.Manzhen wanted to send some money to her mother, so she wanted to ask Jiemin if he had exchanged money. It was inconvenient to say these things on the phone, so she had to go there by herself, hand him the money, and remit it if he could. .They are a small branch, and the staff dormitory is just above the bank, and they can be accessed through the back door.That day Manzhen deliberately waited until after they got off work, because she heard Jiemin say last time that Shijun had been to their shop, and she was very afraid of meeting him.In fact, he was the one who was sorry for her at the beginning, but after all these years, she no longer thinks about that, she just thinks that she is sorry for herself in the life she is living now.Maybe she still hated him a little because she didn't want his mercy.

This is always the hot autumn tiger weather, but this evening it was cooler.Because Manzhen didn't go out often, although Hongcai had a tricycle of her own, she never took his.She took the tram to Jiemin's place, got off the tram, and walked on the road. The sky was light and dark, with gusts of cool wind blowing over her. It must have rained somewhere else.In the past two days, she often thought of Shijun.Thinking of him reminded her of her own youth.At that time, she went out to teach every night, and Shijun sent her there, just walking on the road like this.Those two people seem to be so close to her that they can be touched just by reaching out. Sometimes it feels like the wind is blowing their clothes, and they are blowing towards her.It seemed to be next to her, but there was already a mountain in the middle.

The front door of Jiemin's bank faces the street, and the back door is in an alley.Manzhen remembered that it was No. 509, and she recognized it all the way by the house number. There was a shop near the entrance of the alley, with a red neon signboard standing tall, and the alley was quietly bathed in red light.A person came out from the alley, and in the shadow of the red light, he couldn't see clearly, but Manzhen was taken aback.Maybe it's because the walking posture is a little familiar, but she and Shijun haven't seen each other for ten years, if she didn't think of him there, she would never have recognized him immediately.It's him.She hurriedly turned her face away, facing the window.He probably didn't see her.Of course, he wouldn't pay much attention to a passing woman if he didn't know the possibility of running into her here.Manzhen did not expect that he would go to the bank at such a late hour.It was always because he was late, so he had to go in through the back door and ask the operator he knew well to accommodate him.This is Manzhen's thinking later, when she was in a mess, she just knew that he was the last person she wanted to see in the whole world.She turned around and walked west along the road.He also seemed to be heading west. She heard footsteps behind her and thought it might be him.Although she still believed that he didn't see her, she panicked even more.Unfortunately, there was not even a tricycle. There was a theater nearby, and all the tricycles crowded there.It was also because of the Sanxi that there were cars one after another on the street, and it was impossible to cross the road.The person behind walked faster and faster, and even started to run.Manzhen became confused all of a sudden, and saw a bus coming rumbling, and there was a stop ahead, so she also ran forward, wanting to get on that bus.After running for a few steps, he suddenly saw Shijun brushing past her and passing in front of her. It turned out that he was not chasing her, but the bus.

Manzhen stood still, and it seemed that the danger had passed, but she couldn't help but want to see if it was Shijun, because it was too dreamlike, and she couldn't believe it.In this area, because there are two leather shoe shops with bright lights in the windows, the light is also very bright when it shines on the street, so you can see very clearly what clothes Shijun is wearing and what his face looks like.Although this is all in a flash, you can generally feel whether he is fat or thin, whether he is very rich or not very proud.But Manzhen didn't know why, he didn't have any impression at all, he just saw Shijun, his heart was shaking, his body seemed to be floating in the sea, and he didn't know where it was .

She just stared blankly there, but in fact the bus had already left, but Shijun was still standing there because the bus was too crowded and she couldn't get on, so she had to wait for the next one.The next car was coming from the east, so he naturally turned around and looked east, which was Manzhen.She suddenly felt it.If you turned around and walked back immediately, it would seem too sudden, but it should attract attention.Thinking about it this way, before he had time to think about it, he hurriedly crossed the road and walked across the street.At this time, the long snake formation of the car was a little looser, but suddenly a truck came, and it was already in front of it, and the two headlights on the front of the car were dazzling white, and the front of the car was magnified beyond measure. No matter how big it is, there is a room as big as a dark room rushing towards her.She didn't know much about the future, only heard Zhiyou's prolonged scream, but the car braked, and then she heard the driver yelling.Manzhen's legs trembled so much that she couldn't stand upright, but she quickly walked across the street. Fortunately, after walking a short distance, she came across a tricycle, got on it, and the car had already crossed several roads. My heart was still beating wildly. I don't know if it was hysteria after being frightened, but two lines of tears flowed like a fountain.If she was hit by a car and died, she really wanted to die.It started to rain, and the heavy raindrops hit her body, but she didn't ask the driver to stop and pull up the hood.When she got home, she went upstairs to her bedroom. The windows were all closed tightly because of the rain, and she felt warm when she walked in.Without turning on the light, she lay down on the bed.In the dark room, there was only a glimmer of light from a mirror on the wardrobe.Some of the furniture in the room was bought when she and Hongcai got married, and some were added later.In the gloomy air, these furniture seemed to be packed so close together that she felt that she couldn't breathe.This is the pit she dug herself to be buried alive.She fell on the bed, crying sobbingly. Suddenly the light came on, and it was Hongcai who had returned.Manzhen turned over and fell asleep.Hongcai came back very early today, it was rare for him to go home for dinner, and Manzhen never questioned him.She also knew that he was playing a lot outside again now, because it was raining today, he was too lazy to go out, so he came back earlier.He walked to the bed, sat down and took off his shoes and put on slippers, Yin asked casually: Why are you lying here alone?Well?As he spoke, he put his hand on her knee and squeezed it.He didn't know why today, but he seemed to have a good impression of her again.When encountering this kind of situation, she needs such a lot of strength to suppress her hatred, and she has no strength left.She lay there motionless and silent.Hongcai thought it was hot in the room, so he changed into slippers and went downstairs. There is a fan in the living room that works. Manzhen was lying on the bed. Although the windows in the room were closed, one could still hear the radio of a family in the alley. Ding Ding Dong Dong was playing the pipa, and a middle-aged man was singing there, whispering with a bit of a woman's accent. singing, but I can't hear it clearly.The sound of the pipa was originally like the sound of rain, but in this rainy weather, listening to it from a distance through the rain, it revealed that kind of desolation. After this rain, the weather turned cold the next day.In order to remit money to her mother, Manzhen was going to call Jiemin and ask him to come to her after get off work, but suddenly received a call from Weimin, saying that Mrs. Gu had come to Shanghai, and now she was in his house. There.As soon as Manzhen heard this, she rushed to his house, and the mother and daughter met each other immediately.When Mrs. Gu came out this time, she had to suffer a lot on the way. She took a wheelbarrow, but Lav pulled the cart away, and she walked a hundred miles on foot.The weather turned cold today, and I froze again on the train, coughing, and my throat became hoarse, but since I arrived in Shanghai, I kept talking, because Weimin hadn't come back when I first arrived, so she couldn't help sharing her experiences. First, she told her daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. When Weimin came back, she told Jiemin again. After Weimin called Jiemin, she told Jiemin again. Now she told Manzhen, it was the fourth time.It turned out that the newspapers that regained the occupied areas after the fall of Lu'an naturally did not mention it.Mrs. Gu is in Lu'an, she used to live outside the city, but the house has been reduced to the ground after two wars.She lives in the house of a cousin in the city.When the Japanese soldiers entered the city, there was some raping and looting as usual. Fortunately, her uncle's family only had an old couple and he didn't have any savings, so the loss was not big.Lu'an fell for only ten days before regaining it.Taking advantage of this time, she was calmer and eager to go to Shanghai. It happened that there were several people in the city who were leaving, so she found a guide who was familiar with the situation on the road, and went with them to Shanghai. She found Weimin's house, Weimin and the others only lived in one room, and another room was separated by a wooden wall, where his mother-in-law Mrs. Tao stayed.When Mrs. Tao saw Mrs. Gu, she felt a little ashamed, thinking that she was taken by Nestlé.She is very enthusiastic about entertaining her mother-in-law, even more enthusiastic than her daughter, but she has to be careful not to be too attentive, turning her hostess against the guest, or making the other party feel unhappy, so she is in a dilemma.Mrs. Gu just felt that her attitude was very unnatural, sometimes affectionate, and then indifferent.Weimin's wife's name is Wan Zhu. Although Wan Zhu has a good attitude on the surface, Mrs. Gu always feels that they only have her alone.Later Weimin came back, and the mother and son talked for a while.He originally thought that when his mother first arrived, he shouldn't cry for poverty immediately, but he couldn't help talking about it when he talked about it casually.The treatment of teachers has always been bitter, especially now that the price of goods is soaring, it is even more difficult to survive.Wan Zhu interjected and said that she also wanted to go out to work there and earn some money to support her family. Wei Min said: In Shanghai today, it is really difficult to find a job, but it is easy to make a fortune, so there are so many nouveau riche.Mrs. Tao didn't say anything beside her.What Mrs. Tao meant was that her daughter's looking for a job is the second thing to do, and even if she finds a job, it won't save the poor.But Weimin, he should make up his mind.Since they have such a rich aunt, Zhu Hongcai can make money in business now, and they can take him along. They are all their own people, so why not support him.Mrs. Tao always thought this way, so every time she saw Manzhen, she always looked a little sour and unhappy.On this day, Manzhen came, and everyone sat down and had a conversation.Manzhen looked at this look, her mother and Mrs. Tao would never get along. They lived together with two old ladies, each with their own unchanging living habits, so it was difficult to make a suitable one. The place here is really small. Zhen had no choice but to say that she would take her mother to live with her.Weimin said, "That's good too, your place is more spacious, so that mom can have a good rest."Mrs. Gu went back with Manzhen. When I arrived at Zhu's house, Hongcai hadn't come back yet, so Mrs. Gu asked Manzhen: What business does my uncle do now?Did it go well?Manzhen said: I really can't understand the things they are doing now. They are either stockpiling rice or stockpiling medicines. They are all unconscionable things.Mrs. Gu didn't expect that she was still the same as before. Whenever Hongcai was mentioned, she would speak angrily, so she could only laugh and say: This is the time, what can I do!Manzhen remained silent.Mrs. Gu saw that she was always so listless, and her face had a pale yellow color, so she frowned and asked, "Are you in good health?"Cough, you used to do things in the past, from morning to night, your body was exhausted!At that time, I was young enough to hold on, and when I was older, I felt it.Manzhen didn't try to argue with her either.When it comes to doing things, it is also a painful sore. She had agreed with Hongcai in advance that she would continue to work after marriage. At that time, Hongcai was of course obedient, but he always felt uneasy about her doing things outside, and then he clamored for her I don't know how many times I have quarreled over this matter.In the end she quit the job because of extreme fatigue. Mrs. Gu said: "At your brother's house just now, your brother-in-law said there that she wanted to find a job so that she could support the family.They said that the money was not enough, and those words were all for me to take a mother-in-law to live at home. Don't you want to spend money?It's really meaningless to think about raising a son.As he spoke, he couldn't help but sighed. Rong Bao came back from school, and when Mrs. Gu saw him, she pulled him and asked, "Do you still know me?"Who am I?Then he smiled at Manzhen: Who do you think he looks like?The longer he grows, the more he looks like his grandfather.Manzhen was a little dazed and said: Like Dad?The father in her memory was a thin face with a mustache, but the father in her mother's memory was probably very different, he still looked like him when he was young, and it was easy to see his shadow in all the lovely faces .Manzhen couldn't help smiling. Manzhen asked the maid to buy some snacks.Mrs. Gu said: You don't need to bother me, I don't want to eat anything, I just want to lie down for a while.Manzhen said: But are you tired from the journey?Mrs. Gu said: No.At this time, I feel very uncomfortable.The bed upstairs was ready, so Manzhen went upstairs with her.After Mrs. Gu lay down, Manzhen sat by the bed and talked with her, because she talked about her experience in the dangerous city.She never mentioned Yujin, but Manzhen was always there thinking about him, because she said: I heard that I had hit Lu'an a few days ago, so I was really anxious, thinking that my mother was there alone, and then I thought that Yujin was also there There, maybe I can take care of it a little bit.Mrs. Gu sighed and said: Don't mention Yujin, he only came once when I arrived in Liu'an.When he said this, he suddenly remembered, leaned half of his body on the pillow, and said softly: Hey, you know, his young mistress died, and he was arrested.Manzhen was taken aback and said: Huh?How are you doing well?Mrs. Gu wanted to start from the beginning, and first narrated the story of her and Yujin's nausea, which made Manzhen feel anxious to death.She went on in an orderly manner, saying that she would not look for him if he didn't come, and said: I didn't mention this at your brother's place just now, and the Tao family heard it, it seems that even our relatives here look down on us.I don't want to talk about it. When the war broke out, the wind became more and more serious. I lived alone outside the city, and he didn't even ask me.Well, later the Japanese came in and arrested him, and the nurses in the hospital gang-raped him, saying that his young mistress had ruined him too, so he died just like that.Why, I heard it so!People don't see me as a poor cousin, I watched him grow up after all!This nephew and daughter-in-law never get along, but why did they die so badly!Yujin was arrested and somehow, the city was in total chaos during the two days I left, so I knew that all the machines in the hospital had been moved away, or was it just because of his little machines! Manzhen stayed there for a long while before quietly saying: Tomorrow I will go to Yujin's husband's house to ask, maybe they will know better.Mrs. Gu said: "His husband's family?"I heard him say that his father-in-law and his family have all gone to the interior.At that time, it was not because of the war in Shanghai that many people left. Manzhen was speechless again for a long time.Yujin was the only one who cared about her, and he might not be alive anymore.She was sitting there in a daze, when Mrs. Gu suddenly came up, reached out and touched her forehead, then touched her own forehead, frowned and lay down again without saying anything.Manzhen said: Mom, what's the matter?Is it a little hot?Mrs. Gu hummed in response.Manzhen said: Do you want to invite a doctor to take a look?Mrs. Gu said: "No need, I just caught a cold on the way, so a pack of afternoon tea will be fine."Manzhen found the afternoon tea and asked the maid to cook it, and told Rong Bao to play downstairs so as not to disturb grandma.Rong Bao was playing origami airplanes by himself in the living room. Jiemin taught him that day, and when he threw it, he could fly very far.He threw it out, then galloped after it, panting and laughing, squatting on the ground to pick it up and throw it again.It happened that Hongcai came in, Rong Bao called Dad, stood up and walked back.Hongcai couldn't help feeling angry, and said, "Why did you run away when you saw me!"don't go!He really felt sad, thinking that since his mother came, the child had only known his mother.Rong Bao huddled behind the sofa, was dragged out by Hongcai, and shouted: Why do you get scared like a kid when you see me?you say!explain!Rong Bao burst into tears.Hongcai scolded, "Why are you crying?"I didn't hit you again!Make me angry and I'll hit you! Manzhen heard the child crying upstairs, hurried downstairs, saw that Hongcai was beating the child as soon as he came back, went up to pull him, and said: What are you doing?For no reason.Hongcai yelled with his nose and eyes straight: "It's my son, I can beat him!"Is he my son after all?Manzhen was furious for a while, and was so angry that he was fighting, but he didn't bother to talk to him, so he just pulled the child with all his strength, and pulled him over. Hongcai rushed to hit him a few times, and said bitterly: "I don't know." Who taught him, he is like an enemy when he sees me!A maid ran in to persuade him and took Rong Bao away, but Rong Bao was still crying, so the maid told him, "Don't make trouble, don't make trouble, take you to grandma!"When Hongcai heard this, he was taken aback, and said, "What did she say?"His grandmother is here?Yin looked at Manzhen, but Manzhen was just cold, without making a sound, and went upstairs.The maid said from the outside: The old lady is here, she is upstairs.When Hongcai heard that there was a visitor from afar, he couldn't lose his temper anymore, because he straightened his clothes, put down the rolled up sleeves, and immediately went upstairs. He heard Mrs. Gu coughing, so he went into the back room, and seeing Mrs. Gu there alone, he called Mom.Mrs. Gu hurriedly sat up from the bed, and after exchanging pleasantries, Mrs. Gu told him to hear about the escape.She asked about Hongcai's recent situation, and Hongcai lamented to her, saying that the standard of living is so high now that he can't make ends meet.But he has always had this temper, and after complaining for a while, he was afraid that people would think he was really poor, so he hurriedly ostentatiously said that he and a few friends had dinner at a restaurant with a Chinese prefix that day, five of them, and they ate whatever they wanted. A staggering sum of money was lost. Manzhen never came in.The maid brought in a bowl of afternoon tea.Hongcai asked Mrs. Gu that she wasn't feeling well, and said, "Mom, rest for a few more days. When Mom is well, I'll invite Mom to the theater. Now Shanghai is more lively than before."The maid came to treat her to dinner, and today the meal was served upstairs, so that Mrs. Gu would not have to go upstairs and downstairs, and she also prepared porridge for her, but Mrs. Gu said she couldn't eat any, so it was still the two of them in their own family. People eat with their children.Rong Bao had already had his face wiped by Manzhen, and his eyelids were still red and swollen.The dining table was too quiet, and the sound of chewing seemed strangely loud.The three of them sat around a square table, as if a dark cloud was hanging over their heads, as if they were holding an umbrella above their heads. Hongcai suddenly said: "This cooker is not good at all, what does this dish look like!"Manzhen didn't say a word.After a while, Hongcai said angrily again: There is almost nothing edible in this dish!Manzhen still ignored him.There was a bowl of foot fish soup placed far away, Rong Bao couldn't pick it up, so he stood up and stretched his arms to pick it up, but Hongcai stretched out his chopsticks and hit his chopsticks on the waist, cursing: "Look at you!" There is no way to eat!There are no rules at all!With a snap, Rong Bao's chopsticks fell onto the table, and his tears also fell onto the tablecloth.Manzhen knew that Hongcai was looking for trouble. He thought he would hurt her, so he had to start with the child.She still ate her meal indifferently, without saying a word.Rong Bao was also used to this, he picked up his chopsticks while sobbing.He picked up the rice bowl again, took two mouthfuls of rice, but there was a large piece of fish with no thorns on its belly, it was sent to his bowl, Manzhen picked it for him.He had stopped crying, but for some reason, the tears flowed down again. Manzhen thought to himself, if things go on like this, the child will definitely suffer from indigestion.It's like this almost every day when I eat.It was simply unbearable.But Hongcai couldn't stand the oppression of the atmosphere, and wanted to leave this table as soon as possible.He had less than half a bowl of rice left, so he wanted to finish it in one sitting.He raised his head, raised the rice bowl, almost covered one rice bowl on his face, and impatiently crawled on the rice, the chopsticks knocked on the bowl like a torrential rain.He always does this when he is about to finish his meal.He has several small habitual movements. For example, when he blows his nose, he always presses the wing of his nose with one finger, and hums down with the other nostril, a short snort.In fact, there is nothing wrong with it, and it cannot be called a bad habit.On the contrary, Manzhen has developed a very bad habit now, that is, every time she sees his small movements, a disgusting convulsion immediately occurs on her face, and she can feel the muscles under her eyes pulling up and wrinkling.She couldn't stop herself. Hongcai's chopsticks were still pounding on the bottom of the bowl, while Manzhen had already put down the bowl and stood up, walking to the back room.Seeing her walk in, Mrs. Gu pretended to be fast asleep.Mrs. Gu could of course hear what was said in the outside room very clearly. Although she didn't say a few words, all she heard was the cold silence, but she could also know that it didn't happen overnight for the two of them to vomit.If they quarrel all day and night like this, it is really difficult for people who come to their house to deal with themselves.Mrs. Gu thought, although Hongcai expressed her welcome just now, but her relatives have always been far away and close, and it might be different when they live longer.From this point of view, let’s go live with my son. Although they have a mother-in-law there, and everyone is at odds with each other, which is very annoying, but no matter what, it’s justifiable for me to live there, and I feel happier after all. . So Mrs. Gu decided to go back to Weimin as soon as she recovered from her illness.However, her illness never recovered, and she lay in bed for more than a week.There was never a day when Manzhen was not without arguing, and Mrs. Gu didn't dare to intervene to persuade her, so she had to pretend not to care.She wants to persuade Manzhen behind her back, but although she is full of motherhood and husband control skills, she finds it difficult to speak in front of Manzhen.She also knows that Manzhen's feelings for her are limited now, and the rest is just a little sense of responsibility. Mrs. Gu's illness is considered to be cured, and she can get up and walk around, but her appetite has not been good all the time, and her body is always uncomfortable. Manzhen said that she should find a doctor for an examination.Mrs. Gu refused at first, saying that it was not worth going to a doctor for such a trivial matter. Later, she heard from Manzhen that there was Dr. Wei, whom Hongcai knew very well. , Manzhen accompanied her there that afternoon.Dr. Wei's clinic is located in a building, and there are many tricycles parked at the door, and many tricycle drivers are standing there. Manzhen saw Chunyuan, the driver of her own family, also standing there. He saw Manzhen as if Startled for a moment, he didn't greet her immediately.Manzhen felt a little strange, thinking that he might be secretly driving passengers outside to earn extra money, and stepped an irrelevant person here, so he felt guilty.She ignored it at the time, and walked in with her mother and took the elevator upstairs. Doctor Wei's business here is very good, and the waiting room is full of people.After Manzhen registered, she found a seat for her mother and sat down on a chair by the window, while she stood by the window.There are only two people sitting on the sofa opposite, a man and a little girl. There is still a lot of space on the sofa, but according to general habits, a woman will not run to sit between them.The little girl was about eleven or twelve years old, with a long face, yellow and white skin, and seemed to be very weak. She was very bored sitting there, holding a man's fedora on her chest, and slowly spinning it, but Show a gentle look.It must have always been her father's hat.The man sitting next to her reading the newspaper was always her father.Manzhen couldn't help but look at them twice, thinking that this picture had a family meaning. The man who read the newspaper was covered by the newspaper, and only saw his robes and pants, shoes and socks, which seemed to be very familiar.Manzhen was stunned unconsciously.Hongcai went out wearing this set of clothes in the morning.Did he come here to see a doctor or to see Dr. Wei?Maybe take the kid to see a doctor.Could it be his own child?No wonder I ran into Chunyuan at the gate just now, Chunyuan saw her as if he had seen a ghost.When she and her mother walked in, Hongcai must have seen them, so he kept holding a newspaper and didn't dare to show his face.Manzhen didn't want to expose him on the spot.In front of so many people, it was nothing to make such a fuss, and with her mother present, she was very unwilling to let her mother be caught in it, and cause a lot of trouble. Looking down from the window of this building, you can see very far, Manzhen pointed and said: Mom, come and see, here, that is where we used to live, behind the steeple of the church.see?顧太太站到她旁邊來，一同憑窗俯眺，曼楨口裏說著話，眼梢裏好像看見那看報的男子已經立起身來要往外走。她猛一回頭，那人急忙背過身去，反剪著手望著壁上掛的醫生證書。分明是鴻才的背影。 鴻才只管昂著頭望著那配了鏡框的醫生證書，那鏡框的玻璃暗沉沉的，倒是正映出了窗口兩個人的動態。曼楨又別過身去了，和顧太太一同伏在窗口，眺望著下面的街道。鴻才在鏡框裏看見了，連忙拔腿就走。誰知正在這時候，顧太太卻又掉過身來，把眼睛閉了一閉，笑道：呦，看著這底下簡直頭暈！她離開了窗口，依舊在她原來的座位上坐下，正好看見鴻才的背影匆匆的往外走，但是也並沒有加以注意。倒是那小女孩喊了起來道：爸爸你到哪兒去？她這一叫喚，候診室裏枯坐著的一班病人本就感覺到百無聊賴，這就不約而同地都向鴻才注視著。顧太太便咦了一聲，向曼楨說道：那可是鴻才？鴻才知道溜不掉了，只得掉過身來笑道：咦，你們也在這兒！顧太太因為聽見那小女孩喊他爸爸，覺得非常奇怪，一時就怔住了說不出話來。曼楨也不言語。鴻才也僵住了，隔了一會方才笑道：這是我的乾女兒，是老何的女孩子。又望著曼楨笑道：哦，我告訴你沒呀？這是老何一定要跟我認乾親。一房間人都眼睜睜向他們望著，那小女孩也在內。鴻才又道：他們曉得我認識這魏醫生，一定要叫我帶她來看看，這孩子鬧肚子。噯，你們怎麼來的？是不是陪媽來的？他自己又點了點頭，鄭重地說：噯，媽是應當找魏醫生看看，他看病非常細心。他心裏有點發慌，話就特別多。顧太太只有氣無力地說了一聲：曼楨一定要我來看看，其實我也好了。 醫生的房門開了，走出一個病人，一個看護婦跟在後面走了出來，叫道：祝先生。輪到鴻才了。他笑道：那我先進去了。便拉著那孩子往裏走，那孩子對於看醫生卻有些害怕，她楞磕磕的捧著鴻才的帽子，一隻手被鴻才牽著，才走了沒有兩步，突然回過頭來向旁邊的一個女人大聲叫道：姆媽，姆媽也來！那女人坐在他們隔壁的一張沙發椅上，一直在那兒埋頭看畫報，被她這樣一叫，卻不能不放下畫報，站起身來。鴻才顯得很尷尬，當時也沒來得及解釋，就訕訕地和這女人和孩子一同進去了。 顧太太輕輕地在喉嚨管裏咳了一聲嗽，向曼楨看了一眼。那沙發現在空著了，曼楨便走過去坐了下來，並且向顧太太招手笑道：媽坐到這邊來吧？顧太太一語不發地跟了過去，和她並排坐下。曼楨順手拿起一張報紙來看。她也並不是故作鎮靜。發現鴻才外面另有女人，她並不覺得怎樣刺激已經沒有什麼東西能夠刺激她的感情了，她對於他們整個的痛苦的關係只覺得徹骨的疲倦。她只是想著，他要是有這樣一個女兒在外面，或者還有兒子。他要是不止榮寶這一個兒子，那麼假使離婚的話，或者榮寶可以歸她撫養。離婚的意念，她是久已有了的。 顧太太手裏拿著那門診的銅牌，盡自盤弄著，不時的偷眼望望曼楨，又輕輕的咳了一聲嗽。曼楨心裏想著，今天等一會先把她母親送回去，有機會就到楊家去一趟。她這些年來因為不願意和人來往，把朋友都斷盡了，只有她從前教書的那個楊家，那兩個孩子倒是一直和她很好。兩個孩子一男一女，男的現在已經大學畢業了，在一個律師那裏做幫辦。她想託他介紹，和他們那律師談談。有熟人介紹總好些，不至於太敲竹槓。 通到醫生的房間那一扇小白門關得緊緊的，那幾個人進去了老不出來了。那魏醫生大概看在鴻才的交情份上，看得格外仔細，又和鴻才東拉西扯談天，盡讓外面的病人等著。半晌，方才開了門，裏面三個人魚貫而出。這次顧太太和曼楨看得十分真切，那女人年紀總有三十開外了，一張棗核臉，妖媚的小眼睛，嫣紅的胭脂直塗到鬢腳裏去，穿著件黑呢氅衣，腳上卻是一雙窄窄的黑繡花鞋，白緞滾口，鞋頭繡著一朵白蟹爪菊。鴻才跟在她後面出來，便搶先一步，上前介紹道：這是何太太。這是我岳母。這是我太太。那何太太並沒有走過來，只遠遠地朝這邊帶笑點了個頭，又和鴻才點點頭笑笑，便帶著孩子走了。鴻才自走過來在顧太太身邊坐下，有一搭沒一搭地逗著顧太太閒談，一直陪著她們，一同進去看了醫生出來，又一同回去。他自己心虛，其實今天這樁事情，他不怕別的，就怕曼楨當場發作，既然並沒有，那是最好了，以後就是鬧穿了，也不怕她怎樣。但是他對於曼楨，也說不上來是一種什麼心理，有時候盡量的侮辱她，有時候卻又微微的感覺到一種莫名其妙的恐懼。 他把自備三輪車讓給顧太太和曼楨坐，自己另僱了一輛車。顧太太坐三輪車總覺得害怕，所以春元踏得特別慢，漸漸落在後面。顧太太在路上就想和曼楨談論剛才那女人的事，只是礙著春元，怕給他聽見了不好。曼楨又叫春元彎到一個藥房裏，照醫生開的方子買了兩樣藥，然後回家。 鴻才已經到家了，坐在客廳裏看晚報。顧太太出去了這麼一趟，倒又累著了，想躺一會，便到樓上去和衣睡下，又把那丸藥拿出來吃，因見曼楨在門外走過，便叫道：噯，你來，你給我看看這仿單上說些什麼。曼楨走了進來，把那丸藥的仿單拿起來看，顧太太卻從枕上翹起頭來，見四面無人，便望著她笑道：剛才那女人也不知是怎麼回事。曼楨淡淡的笑了一笑，道：是呀，看他們那鬼鬼祟祟的樣子，一定是他的外家。顧太太歎道：我說呢，鴻才現在在家裏這麼找碴子，是外頭有人了吧？姑娘，不是我說，也怪你不好，你把一個心整個的放在孩子身上了，對鴻才也太不拿他當樁事了！他的脾氣你還不知道嗎？你也得稍微籠絡著他一點。曼楨只是低著頭看仿單。顧太太見她老是不作聲，心裏想曼楨也奇怪，平常為一點小事也會和鴻才爭吵起來，真是碰見這種事情，倒是不能輕輕放過他的，她倒又好像很有容讓似的。這孩子怎麼這樣糊塗。照說我這做丈母的，只有從中排解，沒有反而在中間挑唆的道理，可是實在叫人看著著急。 曼楨還有在銀錢上面，也太沒有心眼了，一點也不想著積攢幾個私房。根本她對於鴻才的錢就嫌它來路不正，簡直不願過問。顧太太覺得這是非常不智的。她默然片刻，遂又開口說道：我知道說了你又不愛聽，我這回在你這兒住了這些日子，我在旁邊看著，早就想勸勸你了。別的不說，趁著他現在手頭還寬裕，你應該自己攢幾個錢。看你們這樣一天到晚的吵，萬一真鬧僵了，家用錢他不拿出來，自己手裏有幾個錢總好些。我也不曉得你肚子裏打的什麼主意。她說到這裏，不禁有一種寂寞之感，兒女們有什麼話是從來不肯告訴她的。 她又嘆了口氣，道：嗐！我看你們成天的吵吵鬧鬧的，真揪心！曼楨把眼珠一轉，便微笑道：是真的，我也知道媽嫌煩。過兩天等媽好了，還不如到偉民那兒去住幾天，還清靜點。顧太太萬想不到她女兒會下逐客令，倒怔了一怔，便道：那倒也好。轉念一想，一定是曼楨下了決心要和鴻才大鬧，要他和那女人斷絕關係；這次一定有一場劇烈的爭吵，所以要她避一避開，免得她在旁邊礙事。顧太太忖量了一會，倒又有點不放心起來，便又叮囑道：我可憋不住，還又要說啊，你要跟他鬧，也不要太決裂了，還得給他留點地步。你看剛才那孩子已經有那麼大了，那個人橫是也不止一年了，算起來還許在你跟他結婚之前呢。這樣長久了，叫她走恐怕難呢。 Manzhen nodded slightly.顧太太還待要說下去，忽然有個女子的聲音在樓梯口高叫了一聲二姊，顧太太一時蒙住了，忙輕聲問曼楨：誰？曼楨一時也想不起來，原來是她弟媳婦琬珠，逕笑著走了進來。曼楨忙招呼她坐下，琬珠笑道：偉民也來了。媽好了點沒有？正說著，鴻才也陪著偉民上樓來了。鴻才今天對偉民夫婦也特別敷衍，說：你們二位難得來的，把傑民找來，我們熱鬧熱鬧。立逼著偉民去打電話，又吩咐僕人到館子裏去叫菜。又笑道：媽不是愛打麻將嗎？今天正好打幾圈。顧太太雖然沒心腸取樂，但是看曼楨始終不動聲色，她本人這樣有涵養，顧太太當然也只好隨和些。女傭馬上把麻將桌佈置起來，偉民夫婦和鴻才就陪著顧太太打了起來。不久傑民也來了，曼楨和他坐在一邊說話，傑民便問：榮寶呢？把榮寶找了來，但是榮寶因鴻才在這裏，就像避貓鼠似的，站得遠遠的，傑民和他說話，他也不大搭碴。顧太太便回過頭來笑道：今天怎麼了，不喜歡小舅舅啦？一個眼不見，榮寶倒已經溜了。 傑民踱過去站在顧太太身後看牌。那牌桌上的強烈的燈光照著他們一個個的臉龐，從曼楨坐的地方望過去，卻有一種奇異的感覺，彷彿這燈光下坐著立著的一圈人已經離她很遠很遠了，連那笑語聲聽上去也覺得異常渺茫。 她心裏籌劃著的這件事情，她娘家這麼些人，就沒有一個可商量的。她母親是不用說了，絕對不能給她知道，知道了不但要驚慌萬分，而且要竭力阻撓了。至於偉民和傑民，他們雖然對鴻才一向沒有好感，當初她嫁他的時候，他們原是不贊成的，但是現在既然已經結了婚好幾年了，這時候再鬧離婚，他們一定還是不贊成的。本來像她這個情形，一個女人一過了三十歲，只要丈夫對她不是絕對虐待，或是完全不予贍養，即使他外面另外弄了個人，既然並不是明目張膽的，也就算是顧面子的了。要是為她打算的話，隨便去問什麼人也不會認為她有離婚的理由。曼楨可以想像偉民的丈母聽見這話，一定要說她發瘋了。她以後進行離婚，也說不定有一個時期需要住在偉民家裏，只好和她母親和陶太太那兩位老太太擠一擠了。她想到這裏，卻微笑起來。 鴻才一面打著牌，留神看看曼楨的臉色，覺得她今天倒好像很高興似的，至少臉上活泛了一點，不像平常那樣死氣沉沉的。他心裏就想著，她剛才未必疑心到什麼，即使有些疑心，大概也預備含混過去，不打算揭穿了。他心裏一塊石頭落了地，便說起他今天晚上還有一個飯局，得要出去一趟。他逼著傑民坐下來替他打，自己就坐著三輪車出去了。曼楨心裏便忖了一忖，他要是真有人請吃飯，春元等一會一定要回來吃飯的。向例是這樣，主人在外面吃館子，車伕雖然拿到一份飯錢，往往還是踏著車子回到家裏來吃，把那份錢省下來。曼楨便和女傭說了一聲：春元要是回來吃飯，你叫他來，我有話關照他。我要叫他去買點東西。 館子裏叫的菜已經送來了，他們打完了這一圈，也就吃飯了，飯後又繼續打牌。曼楨獨自到樓上去，拿鑰匙把櫃門開了。她手邊也沒有多少錢，她拿出來正在數著，春元上樓來了，他站在房門口，曼楨叫他進來，便把一卷鈔票遞到他手裏，笑道：這是剛才老太太給你的。春元見是很厚的一疊，而且全是大票子，從來人家給錢，沒有給得這樣多的，倒看不出這外老太太貌不驚人，像個鄉下人似的，出手倒這樣大。他不由得滿面笑容，說了聲呵喲，謝謝老太太！他心裏也有點數，想著這錢一定是太太拿出來的，還不是因為今天在醫生那裏看見老爺和那女人在一起，形跡可疑，向來老爺們的行動，只有車伕最清楚的，所以要向他打聽。果然他猜得不錯，曼楨走到門外去看了一看，她也知道女傭都在樓下吃飯，但還是很謹慎的把門關了，接著就盤問他，她只作為她已經完全知道了，就只要打聽那女人住在哪裏。春元起初推不知道，說他也就是今天才看見那女人，想必她是到號子裏去找老爺的，他從號子裏把他們踏到醫生那裏去，後來就看見她一個人帶著孩子先出來，另外叫車子走了。曼楨聽他賴得乾乾淨淨，便笑道：一定是老爺叫你不要講的。不要緊，你告訴我我不會叫你為難的。又許了他一些好處。她平常對傭人總是很客氣的，但是真要是得罪了她，當然也有被解僱的危險。而且春元也知道，她向來說話算話，決不會讓老爺知道是他洩漏的秘密，當下他也就鬆了口，不但把那女人的住址據實說了出來，連她的來歷也都和盤托出。原來那女人是鴻才的一個朋友何劍如的下堂妾，鴻才介紹她的時候說是何太太，倒也是實話，那何劍如和她拆開的時候，挽出鴻才來替他講條件，鴻才因此就和她認識了，終至於同居。這是前年春天的事。春元又道：這女人還有個拖油瓶女兒，就是今天去看病的那個。這一點，曼楨卻覺得非常意外，原來那孩子並不是鴻才的。那小女孩抱著鴻才的帽子盤弄著，那一個姿態不知道為什麼，倒給她很深的印象。那孩子對鴻才顯得那樣的親切，那好像是一種父愛的反映。想必鴻才平日對她總是很疼愛的了。他在自己家裏也是很痛苦的吧，倒還是和別人的孩子在一起，也許他能夠嘗到一點家庭之樂。曼楨這樣想著的時候，唇邊浮上一個淡淡的苦笑。她覺得這是命運對於她的一種諷刺。 這些年來她固然是痛苦的，他也沒能夠得到幸福。要說是為了孩子吧，孩子也被帶累著受罪。當初她想著犧牲她自己，本來是帶著一種自殺的心情。要是真的自殺，死了倒也就完了，生命卻是比死更可怕的，生命可以無限制地發展下去，變得更壞，更壞，比當初想像中最不堪的境界還要不堪。 她一個人倚在桌子角上呆呆的想著，春元已經下樓去了。隱隱的可以聽見樓下清脆的洗牌聲。房間裏靜極了，只有那青白色的日光燈發出那微細的嗤嗤的聲響。 眼前最大的難題還是在孩子身上。儘管鴻才現在對榮寶那樣成天的打他罵他，也還是決不肯讓曼楨把他帶走的。不要說他就是這麼一個兒子，哪怕他再有三個四個，照他們那種人的心理，也還是想著不能夠讓自己的一點親骨血流落在外邊。固然鴻才現在是有把柄落在曼楨手裏，他和那個女人的事，要是給她抓到真憑實據，她可以控告他，法律上應當准許她離婚，並且孩子應當判給她的。但是他要是盡量拿出錢來運動，勝負正在未定之天。所以還是錢的問題。她手裏拿著剛才束鈔票的一條橡皮筋，不住的繃在手上彈著，一下子彈得太重了，打在手上非常痛。 現在這時候出去找事，時機可以說是不能再壞了，一切正當的營業都在停頓狀態中，各處只有裁人，決沒有添人的。而且她已經不是那麼年輕了，她還有那種精神，能夠在沒有路中間打出一條路來嗎？ 以後的生活問題總還比較容易解決，她這一點自信心還有。但是眼前這一筆費用到哪裏去設法打官司是需要錢的。真到沒有辦法的時候，她甚至於可以帶著孩子逃出淪陷區。或者應當事先就把榮寶藏匿起來，免得鴻才到那時候又使出憊賴的手段，把孩子劫了去不放。 她忽然想起蔡金芳來，把孩子寄存在他們那裏，照理是再妥當也沒有了。鴻才根本不知道她有這樣一個知己的朋友。她和金芳已經多年沒見面了，不知道他們還住在那兒嗎。自從她嫁給鴻才，她就沒有到他們家去過，因為她從前在金芳面前曾經那樣慷慨激昂過的，竟自出爾反爾，她實在沒有面目再去把她的婚事通知金芳。現在想起來，她真是恨自己做錯了事情。從前的事，那是鴻才不對，後來她不該嫁給他。是她錯了。