Chapter 21 Chapter 19 Gray Rock Tower

1 I sleep in a tent. No, I'm not sleeping, I'm just lying on my back in the sleeping bag with my eyes closed. can't sleep.It is as if the eyes are opened inside the eyelids. Mingming closed his eyes, but his eyeballs were wide open, with a piercing look in his heart. must sleep The more you think about it, the clearer your consciousness becomes.The body that is active during the day is excited and cannot calm down.The excitement of the body makes the consciousness excited. You must sleep now, otherwise it will affect your actions tomorrow.Even when he was in good health, he couldn't catch up with Hanyu. If he didn't sleep and kept exhausting his energy, he probably wouldn't even be able to climb up to 7,000 meters.

It must have been midnight. How long has it been since you made up your mind to sleep? Breathing is also painful. Six thousand five hundred meters. This time, the height of the first experience. Sure enough, as An Jialin said, should I bring an oxygen cylinder? Just in case, the base camp has several oxygen bottles prepared by Angarin.If you carry it here, you can breathe oxygen to sleep now However, once the oxygen cylinder is carried, the luggage weight will probably exceed 30 kilograms.In this way, is it possible to get here?I'm afraid I can't be here right now, meditating in my sleeping bag like this.

Don't think about it. Anyway, I didn't bring an oxygen cylinder.This is a fact.Now, I am in that fact. There is no wind. A peaceful night, unbelievably quiet. Originally, the wind was blowing constantly here.Set up a tent in the middle of the empty West Valley, without any windshield around. However, there was no wind. Fukamachi felt the temperature of the air drop suddenly.It was so cold that the air seemed to creak.Because the air is thin, all the temperature on the ground is released to the upper air. so cold. I'm afraid it has become twenty-seven or eight degrees below zero.

You feel colder because you breathe less oxygen.I always feel that the sleeping bag is not warm at all. Hanyu's tent was about ten meters away. Everything was completely silent, as if even Hanyu's snort could be heard. Fukamachi listened attentively in the darkness, but of course, there was no sound of Hanyu's snort. Hanyu must have fallen asleep. He is probably sleeping. He seemed to be on the flat ground, sleeping on his own bed, falling into a deep sleep.Or does he, like me, open his eyes in the dark? In the middle of the West Valley, wait for the time to pass It took nine hours to climb from base camp, including breaks.

In one day, it rose to a height of 1,100 meters. However, I have adapted to an altitude of about 5,800 meters in advance, so it is equivalent to an increase of 700 meters from the altitude I have adapted to. When I experienced the height for the first time, it was 500 meters a day, which is the height that can be ascended in the Himalayas.However, if it’s just about rising altitude, you can climb up to 1,000 meters, but you can’t spend the night there.Ascend a thousand meters, breathe the air at that height while exercising, and sleep at the place where you descend 500 meters when you sleep. This is the basic principle of climbing the Himalayas.

700 meters Ascent height limit. Have mild symptoms of altitude sickness. Headache, loss of appetite. For dinner, add water to the boiled and dried rice to make porridge, eat it with prunes, Tsukudani①, and seaweed, and swallow vitamin C and vitamin B tablets. Note ①: Preserved food cooked with soy sauce, mirin, and sugar. After nibbling a little bit of cheese, brew powdered corn chowder with hot water and drink it. Slowly drink 1.5 liters of black tea with lots of honey. 1.5 liters in the morning.Drink a liter from a thermos in action, and now drink another 1.5 liters.A total of four liters of water, as intended.

Moisture is often taken from the surface of the body by the air because of sweating due to exercise, and because the air is thinner. No matter how much water is added, it will not be added too much. When Fukamachi arrived here, Hanyu's blue tent had already been set up. Fukamachi took pictures and set up his own tent. He didn't speak to Hanyu.Anyway, even if he spoke to him, Hanyu probably wouldn't respond. If Hanyu was awake, he should have sensed that he had arrived.Therefore, if he did not take the initiative to talk to him, he was not allowed to talk to him. Fukamachi heard a regular radio communication at six o'clock.

At 7:00 in the morning and 6:00 in the evening, Hanyu would communicate with Angarin in the base camp by radio. Fukamachi listened to their conversation on his radio. How about it?Angeline asked. According to the scheduled itinerary.Hanyu replied. Other than that, the brief newsletters consisted only of the weather. Fukamachi did not join the newsletter. they agreed Fukamachi would go up the mountain with a radio, but even if the time was staggered with Hanyu, Fukamachi would not regularly communicate with the base camp. If Fukamachi was unable to keep up with the scheduled communication due to some accident, or could not be contacted due to a broken radio, Angarin might climb up worriedly.In this way, it would be impossible to fully assist Hanyu.

The base camp radio is always on.When they set off, they agreed that Shenmachi would contact the base camp only in the event of a life-threatening accident. Fukamachi was in his sleeping bag, remembering Hanyu's voice during the communication. Short and deep voice. Breathing is also normal. It appears he's doing pretty well. Just when Fukamachi thought, Hanyu is a man with extraordinary physical strength Suddenly feel the need to urinate. Pretty strong urge to urinate.However, why at this time Because of the large intake of water. The moment I realized this, it gradually turned into a strong urge to urinate.

Under normal circumstances, as long as you fall asleep directly, you will forget the urge to urinate.However, only the consciousness is too clear in the dark, under the current situation, that urge to urinate will not disappear. can't sleep. Because I couldn't sleep, I realized the urge to urinate. Because I was aware of the urge to urinate, I couldn't sleep even more. However, the thought of how much trouble it would be to climb out of this sleeping bag, put on a windbreaker, and go out in hiking boots, doesn't bother to go out to pee. Unlike on flat ground, at this height, it takes time to bend over, put on socks, put on shoes, etc. in a cramped tent.

In the state of wearing heavy clothes, if you want to bend your upper body forward to wear shoes, your abdomen will be compressed, and you will have to stop breathing several times for a few seconds.Just that short breath-holding will consume the oxygen in the blood, and the body needs new oxygen and gasps heavily. Fukamachi repeatedly fought against the urge to urinate for nearly thirty minutes, and finally decided to go out to urinate. Forbear for 30 minutes on the left and 30 minutes on the right. Depending on the situation, you may be able to endure another 30 minutes.However, this is not a situation that can be endured all the way into the morning, and finally the problem of urination has to be solved.That being the case, Fukamachi made up his mind to solve the internal emergency now. After lighting the headlamps, a scene inside the tent emerges, glistening with the frozen water vapor on the top of the tent. While measuring the rhythm of breathing, put on the shoes in the sleeping bag. Needless to say, put the removed shoes outside the tent, even if they are put in the tent, the shoes will still freeze. As a result, the feet will be prone to frostbite. In cold places, it is a long-standing habit of Fukamachi to carefully shake off the snow before putting the shoes in the sleeping bag. After stepping out of the tent, Fukamachi was suddenly surrounded by a landscape that made people gasp in amazement.He seemed to be suddenly thrown into the very center of the universe instead of the ground. The Milky Way is all over the head, there is no cloud, and a large number of stars are twinkling in the transparent and clear night sky. To the south is Mount Nubu, to the east is Lhotse, to the northeast is Mount Everest, and to the north is the west edge of Mount Everest, surrounded by stars. Fukamachi stands in a huge valley surrounded by rocky ridges of more than 8,000 meters in the Himalayas. On the same height in the west, Pumori Mountain appeared.I also saw the glacier that went deep into the arms of Pumori Mountain, hit the chest of Pumori Mountain, and changed its direction significantly to the left in a meandering way. There is no moon, but even the details of snow and rocks can be seen clearly.Fukamachi thought, could such a clear vision be obtained with the light of snow and stars? Orion appears above Lhotse.Located on Orion's right shoulder, Betelgeuse glows red.Is that star so red?It is said to be a star with a diameter of 700 to 1,000 times the diameter of the sun. Rigel on the left foot.and the three stars symbolizing the sword on Orion's belt right in the middle A misty nebula appeared. Sirius in the constellation Canis Major. It turns out that the starlight is so different, does each one show a different color?Fukamachi stared at the scene as if seeing it for the first time. There is no wind. Looking back, the tent that he stayed in before was at his feet. Did I stay in that small world before? What was he thinking in the darkness in that tent? In front of the breathtaking beauty, Fukamachi couldn't remember what he was thinking before. The halo formed by the headlights at the feet looks very cold. Then, Fukamachi saw Hanyu's tent on the opposite side. The cold air tightly gripped Fukamachi's body, and Fukamachi's body temperature gradually dissipated into the air. He pissed. Fukamachi's body temperature leaked out of the body along with a large amount of urine. Go back to the tent, unzip it, and then zip it up again once you're inside. Carefully skim the snow from your hiking boots, and take extra care to get the snow out of your shoes.Because once the small snow flakes run into the shoes, the flesh and blood on the feet will freeze when they touch there, resulting in frostbite. Put the shoes in the sleeping bag and get into the sleeping bag again. Restored to the original state again, the creatures inhabiting my heart came to my mind again. As soon as you zip up the tent, the heart window opens. Even thinking that the starry sky was directly above this dark tent, the emotion just now would never come back to my heart. It is difficult for a person's thoughts, ideas, or emotions to stay in one place. Fukamachi thought of Kayoko, what was she doing? She probably won't think about what I'm thinking now, getting into my sleeping bag like this. stop doing this. What does that mean? Just meeting like this, doing this kind of thing. Do you want to start over with Kayoko again? do not know. Although I don't know, I can guess that it may not be possible to start over.I know this anyway. Love is over. So, what do you expect from your relationship with Kayoko? The conclusion is that he already understands that the two of them cannot do it all over again. However Fukamachi asked himself: Didn’t Kayoko already tell you the conclusion?She left without saying goodbye.That's the conclusion, isn't it?Now that things have come to a conclusion, why think about it? Stop thinking about it. However, trying not to think about it, to put it bluntly, is tantamount to thinking about Kayoko. If you can really think about it if you don’t think about it, there is nothing easier in the world than this. That is the wind that blows from time to time. It's like you don't know what kind of wind is blowing on the mountain, but you can't change the route once you decide on it. There are also ups and downs in life. In life, one does not draw conclusions about all kinds of things encountered in one's life.Most people just procrastinate and live like that.To live means to worry about something.It's not about getting rid of all annoying things before you just move on to the next thing without thinking. Probably insisting on something. The same is true for your own work.No one ordered me to have only one job in my life. You don't have to be a photographer all your life, and you don't have to climb mountains all your life.Likewise, you don't have to be devoted to one woman all your life.If you want to be a photographer for the rest of your life, go ahead and do it.If you want to climb a mountain for the rest of your life, just go for it.If you want to be attached to a woman for the rest of your life, just be attached to her. Trying to decide on one or the other, is there a problem with this kind of thinking? Fukamachi asked Hanyu in his heart. Hanyu, Hanyu, why are you in this kind of place? Why endure alone in a place like this? Why climb a mountain?Is your answer on that peak? After climbing the Southwest Face, is there anything waiting for you there? Nothing is waiting for you. There probably isn't any answer or ending there. Hanyu, what are you going to do next after you capture this southwest wall? Standing on the highest place in the world in the most difficult way, what to do next? Where to go from that peak? There is no place in the world higher than that peak! after climbing up Hanyu, have you thought about the great emptiness that followed after that? Hanyu Fukamachi always felt that Hanyu climbed the mountain to meet greater sorrow. Then, what about the self who was chasing Hanyu? Hanyu was climbing his mountain. What is this behavior of chasing Hanyu? Is this my way of climbing? Fukamachi. you Didn't you think about it a lot? Is this what happens to people when the air is thin? Isn't drinking can relieve boredom? Because there is no alcohol here.Nobody.No women either. No, there are people.That guy Hanyu is nearby. However, Hanyu and I are alone, alone. The only thing that makes people feel warm is their own body temperature. Is it warming up a little? Can the stars still be seen? It doesn't matter if you can see it or not. It's time to sleep. Tomorrow, I will repeat countless times more strenuous actions than today. You don't know where you can go with Hanyu, but do your best. good. I got it. I'm going to sleep, I'm already sleepy, but I seem to have to think about something what is that? mountain? Broad white ridges. blue sky. Walk towards the summit on the snow. is that me no, isn't it me? I looked at the guy heading towards the summit. Where are you going? If you stand there, there will be no way ahead! what to do? Don't be so rushed. Me too, I'm going too. Don't leave me alone! Don't leave me alone! Hello. don't leave Fukamachi fell asleep. 2 Morning Fukamachi woke up from a light sleep. The inside of the tent was frozen hard. It was all sweat coming out of Fukamachi's body.Sweat vaporizes due to Fukamachi's body temperature, disperses from the fibers of the clothing on the body or the gaps in the sleeping bag cloth, and solidifies and freezes inside the tent. Pull down the zipper of the entrance and look outside, there are still stars in the sky, but due to the dawn, there are only a few stars left. Hanyu's tent is still there. There was still an hour and a half before the scheduled departure time at 7:30. The breakfast in Fukamachi is the same as last night's. It is mainly boiled dry rice, with a slice of half cheese that is more than last night.A handful of raisins. At most, increase these foods. Drink plenty of black tea with honey. After breakfast, we will communicate at seven o'clock. The conversation this time was also brief. Are you full of sleep?Angeline asked. Um.Hanyu replied. According to the scheduled itinerary? Um.Departure at seven thirty. Good Luck! That's pretty much what the newsletter is all about. Fukamachi has already been packed, and only the folded tent is left and stuffed into the hiking backpack. Step outside the tent, pull the frozen tent poles out of the snow, fold the tent cloth, and stuff it into the hiking pack. Put the packed hiking backpack on the snow, hold the camera, and wait for Hanyu to come out. not long after First, the zipper of the tent is unzipped and the backpack is thrown outside.Then, Hanyu came out of the tent. Fukamachi took a photo of Hanyu climbing out of the tent and folding it. Hanyu came out of the tent and only glanced at Fukamachi.Then start packing silently. Fukamachi filmed the scene carefully so that nothing would slip through the screen. no wind. sunny. Undefended. The southwest wall showed everything in front of Hanyu. There was no wind and no snow smoke. Nothing to hide. Naked. I always feel that the south wall is saying to Hanyu: This is the complete me. The Biggest Difficulty on the Southwest Wall Parts of the large rock wall belt at a height of more than 8,000 meters and the yellow belt above it, which symbolizes the giant peaks of the Himalayas, have appeared. And the southwest wall above it, the peak rock wall and the cirque wall. Hanyu picked up his hiking backpack and started walking slowly.Fukamachi aimed the lens from a low position obliquely behind, put it in the viewfinder with the southwest wall as the background, and pressed the shutter. wide angle. The southwest wall looked like it was pressing down on Hanyu. 3 From the scheduled location of the second night The gray rock towers are about 1,100 meters high. The altitude there is 7,600 meters.Hanyu was scheduled to take about eight hours to get there. As the altitude rises, it gradually becomes steeper, and at a height of 6,600 meters, it crosses the divergence point with the traditional route. If you take the traditional route to summit Mount Everest, you will continue to climb vertically from the West Valley to the South Ridge.From there, climb the southeast ridge towards the summit, which is the traditional route to the summit in Nepal. In 1953, Hillary and Tenzing took this route when they set foot on the summit. As for the southwest wall, you have to choose the route to the left from here. At this time, between the glacier of the West Valley and the rock wall of the southwest wall, there is a crack called the ice gorge, the gap between the ice and the rock.After climbing over the ice gorge, I finally climbed to the bottom of the southwest wall. The altitude is 6,700 meters. The cracks are sometimes wide and sometimes narrow.In addition, there are broad places and narrow places.There are places where rocks and glacial snow are connected together, and there are also places where there are depressions.There are no rules. However, Hanyu climbed over there effortlessly, from where the frozen avalanche fell, to the top of the snow. Fukamachi climbed over the ice gorge about ten minutes later than Hanyu, and finally entered the territory that Fukamachi had come to for the first time. If it is the traditional route, this spring, I climbed to the South Ridge by myself. Seven, 986 meters. It was only a little short of eight thousand meters.Where can I climb this time? Judging from the situation of adaptation this time, it is obvious that there is no way to climb to 8,000 meters. Last time, there was plenty of time to acclimatize and oxygen tanks were available.However, this time it was neither.I am afraid that from this point to a place less than 8,000 meters away, it will be the highest point I can climb.Must turn back from there. No matter where it is, after the physical strength is exhausted, it is impossible to turn back. Climb till exhausted, then fall there It would be fine if he died just like that, maybe he could climb up to 8,000 meters. However, you must come back alive. Of course, because you have to climb to the limit before giving up, you will get quite serious altitude sickness.Hear hallucinations, see hallucinations.Maybe you will be unsteady on your feet, suddenly unable to stand up, and then fall down. Very likely. I am alone. Trying to think with the mood of Hanyu who was walking in front, even though he didn't see Fukamachi, he couldn't tell whether he turned back or fell down. This time there is no C3 or C2, where there are oxygen cylinders and partners for mountaineering. Fukamachi climbed on an ice wall with an average slope of 40 degrees, which was a snow slope that was more frozen than a sled race course. Holding the ice stick in the right hand and the ice ax in the left, climb up with the double axes.There is an altitude difference of 200 meters from the ice gorge to the warship rock at an altitude of 6,900 meters. Steep slope. Let the front claws of the crampons embed into the ice wall, and climb up step by step.It feels like climbing instead of walking. Hold the front end of the ice stick in your right hand and hit the ice wall.Then lift your left foot so that the crampons dig into the ice wall.Then, drive the front end of the ice ax held in the left hand into the ice wall, and then raise your right foot to gradually lift your body up like this. The intervals between moving from one action to another become longer. The lack of oxygen reacts immediately on the body. Looking up, Hanyu was already far above. Fukamachi hadn't climbed halfway yet, and the top of Hanyu's head was already a battleship rock.Hanyu climbed on this steep ice wall as if he was walking. A deep sense of despair hit Kamifuka-machi's heart. Climbing on the ice wall, the gap between Hanyu and himself was manifested in the form of the world. Fukamachi stopped on the way to the ice wall, breathing heavily repeatedly. Is now the time to turn back?If it is now, it will definitely be able to turn back. Climbing this slope requires not only skill, but also the danger of being hit by falling rocks.If you are hit directly on the head by a fist-sized rock that suddenly falls from above, you will die. Even if you hit your foot instead of your head, at that moment, your body will lose your balance and slide down the slope. 100 meters. If it slips it's game over.As long as one of the ice stick, ice ax, or left foot or right foot doesn't grab the ice wall once, it's dead.If you climb an ordinary lower mountain, even if you lose your balance because of this, as long as you hold on to the other three points, you can stabilize your body. However, can I do that kind of thing at this height? Well, maybe it can be done. Don't be discouraged!Once discouraged, what is possible becomes impossible. As long as the body is firmly supported by three points, it will be fine. However The reaction rate slowed down. Physical strength also declined. As long as you are careless once, you will be pushed into hell. No, that person is none other than myself. Don't think about that! look!Feet start shaking! Fukamachi's knees trembled slightly. Fukamachi didn't know whether it was because of fear or fatigue. Anyway, Fukamachi's knees kept shaking. in this kind of place Fukamachi thought. Grit your teeth. Is this the pressure of going it alone? How could it be impossible to move in such a place. Deliberately take deep, repeated breaths.And again and again and again and again. let's go! There is nothing worse than stopping the action here. Because the crampons embedded in the ice wall will gradually loosen. Oh shit! stare up. There is a blue sky. Head to that sky. Kayoko Ryoko At this time, what do you think of women?Will die! Die, idiot!Fukamachi spat loudly. He stared at the ice wall in front of him. Pull out the ice stick from the ice wall and punch it in again. left foot. Then came the ice axe. right foot. Don't think about it! Don't think about it! Moves like a machine! Climb like an ant! Fukamachi gritted her teeth and began to climb. 4 Fukamachi was sitting under the battleship rock, curled up on the snow, panting with his back to the rock. The altitude is 6,900 meters. For those who cling to the southwest wall, the first place to rest is here. The black rock, ten meters high and fifteen meters thick, is about one hundred meters long and straddles the ice wall with a slope of forty degrees. Fukamachi leaned his body against the little space at the bottom of the rock, breathing heavily and repeatedly. When I arrived here, I sat down on the snow without unloading my hiking backpack. Then, don't move.Looking down at Xigu in a trance, just listening to the sound of cold wind blowing the windbreaker and hat. at this time There was a bang on the top of the head. A black object fell from above and hit the top of the battleship rock in front of my eyes.Then, it bounced up and landed on the snow about one meter ahead from the soles of its feet. While spinning, it rolled down the ice wall at a fast speed. A black rock the size of a fist. if it hits the head Probably smashed the helmet, crushed the skull, and died instantly. Before that, there were several places where TCs (temporary camps) were set up.These are camps for temporary emergency shelter and rest.The scale is slightly smaller than C1, C2 and other camps. It was one of the few less dangerous places on the southwestern face than the other slopes.Everywhere around, there is a danger of falling rocks. Among the rock walls of Everest, the southwest wall is particularly fragile.Rocks large and small are often peeled off the rock face. The place where Fukamachi was located was the only place on this slope where he could actually protect his body from being hit by falling rocks.Stones falling from the snow slopes above would hit Battleship Rock and fly into the air, leaping over the heads of those below. Although the difference is only about one meter, it can affect life and death. Head hurts. That kind of dull pain is like the inside of the brain has turned into a rotten fruit, and then, every ten seconds, a sharp pain will emerge from the core of that fruit. I don't want to move anymore, my strength is about to run out. Physical strength has not yet reached its limit.Fukamachi knew that there was still a little energy left. Even though he is not as good as Hanyu, he is no longer an amateur when it comes to using his own body. no problem? Can you still climb? Fukamachi also knows how to talk to his body repeatedly while being tortured by anxiety and timidity. He was close to the limit, and he knew it very well. Although there is still some strength left to reach the limit of physical strength, if I use all those strengths, will there be no way to go back from here? If you don't go back, you will die here. Or, is it my own cowardly heart that makes the brain think this way? Fukamachi tried to correctly estimate his physical strength. By the way, measure the pulse rate.It's numbers, so it has nothing to do with my feelings.In this way, you can judge your physical condition from the calm angle of numerical value. Fukamachi held his left arm with his right hand. but No pulse. No, not without a pulse. no!It's my mistake that's why I don't have a pulse. However, what am I doing wrong?Probably something basic.That's why there is obviously a pulse, but I don't think it is. oh I got it. Saw.it is this.This is bad.Obviously see so clearly.It is not good to see it now.Because this is not good, I think wildly and feel that I have no pulse.However, what is it that you see now?This is it.What is this?Does it make sense? Fukamachi's heart gradually filled with anxiety. You know it, you can see it, but you can't describe it in words.Could it be that the reason why it is indescribable is actually because you don't know what it is? Oh shit! what is this? Something I wear on my right hand and left hand. By the way, isn't it just a glove? ! I wear PVC (polyvinyl chloride) inner gloves on the inside of my hands; on the outside, I wear gloves so thick that they look like baseball gloves, so even if I hold my arm, I can't feel my pulse. Take off the gloves.bare hands.Hold your left arm with your right hand. one two three Ah, fool. Just counting is not enough. It's pointless if you don't look at your watch. Untie the watch on the left arm and put it here, looking at the second hand to measure twenty seconds.Then, multiply it by three. one two Huh?Having said that, what is my normal value? Sixty? Eighty? one two Huh, no pulse. No pulse again! What's wrong? Why exactly does the pulse oh.idiot.What am I doing! Even in this kind of place, bare hands are exposed to the outdoor air. His hands were freezing and aching. How could such a hand measure the pulse!What the hell am I doing? Putting on the gloves, Fukamachi shivered.It turned out that the symptoms of altitude sickness had already had an impact on the spirit. Although I haven't seen hallucinations yet, something close to hallucinations is now being produced in my mind. Breathe rapidly over and over again. I want oxygen, I want more oxygen. As if remembering, Fukamachi opened the thermos and poured sweet hot black tea into his stomach. OK, stand up!Stand up and go! Tried to stand up several times. However, as soon as he stood up and wanted to take a step, before he knew it, he huddled up and sat on the corner of the rock. The body is limp and paralyzed. Fukamachi, cheer up! You should have gone to higher ground this year. 7. The south ridge is 986 meters high. remember!You know Everest higher than this battleship rock! Wait a minute. That's because of the use of oxygen.Altitude adaptation has also been done more solidly, and it took about half a month to climb to that height.Climb up from C1, C2, and C3 step by step. When you arrive, the tent has been set up, and sleeping bags, gas stoves, and food are also available. Now, I carry all the luggage alone. At that time, the climbing rope was completely pulled up on the route, and the partner was there.In case of an emergency, the partner will save himself What are you talking about, Fukamachi? Alone Didn't you climb up this southwest wall knowing that you were going to act alone? Hanyu has climbed very high! When he arrived at the Battleship Rock, Fukamachi confirmed that Hanyu was at the top. Hanyu had already climbed to about two-thirds of the distance from the gray rock tower.Hanyu's red windbreaker could be seen moving up silently on the ice wall above. what time is it now? Twelve thirty. Departed at 7:30 in the morning, and it was almost twelve o'clock when we arrived here. It took four hours and thirty minutes. Assuming that Hanyu arrived here in four hours according to the scheduled itinerary, he was one hour later than him. Hanyu didn't take a break, passed by here, and he had already rested here for thirty minutes. If you don't chase now, you won't be able to catch up with Hanyu. If it took Hanyu four hours to reach the gray rock tower from here, it would take him about five hours. I've been climbing for five hours? This is how the same thing?It might take more time than expected. In this way, do I want to move more than ten hours a day at this height in the Himalayas? This is crazy behavior. Can that kind of thing be done? I've given up, I'm going to turn back from here.If you want to spend one night, you can only stay at the bottom of this warship rock.There is only room to pitch a tent here.Set up a tent at the bottom of Battleship Rock, where I am now huddled, and descend from here tomorrow.In this way, I might be able to go back alive. In this way, Hanyu will probably also see me returning.Hanyu will surely breathe a sigh of relief as there are no unnecessary obstacles in the way. However is this okay? There was another voice in Fukamachi's heart. go back please Won't you regret going back? Didn't you come here to see what Hanyu wants to do with all your might?To put it more bluntly, didn't you come here for yourself? yes.That's right. I tried my best to see what Hanyu wanted to do, and I came here. As you said, I am for myself. However, I'm not out to kill myself. I didn't come here to commit suicide! Quick, stand up!Stand up and go down! If you go down the mountain, the oxygen level will increase. Maybe it's better to go down the mountain than spend the night here. Go back from here and forget about it all. Forget about Hanyu. Forget about women. Forget about climbing. By the way, simply forget about your own affairs! Forget everything, be free, stop dreaming. In this life, don't try to do anything. That's right. Isn't this standing up steadily? The feet can still move. I'm in good health. After taking a short break and drinking black tea with a lot of honey, it seems to have somewhat restored my spirits.Now downhill. Be careful going down the mountain! Hello! Not over there.Going down the mountain is not going over there. What are you doing on the ice wall over there! Are you still going to climb up? Hello 5 Leaving the Battleship Rock, on the ice wall with a slope of 40 degrees, climb to the upper left in a zigzag for about 25 meters, and climb up from there. From here, the slope gradually becomes forty-five degrees. Next, enter the huge rock ditch running vertically on the southwest wall, the central rock ditch filled with snow, and climb about 700 meters there.where to spend the night Gray Rock Tower is there. Fukamachi had already entered the central rock ditch. Even ice walls that are also frozen with snow have various states.Some places are frozen as hard as stone and the surface is smooth, and some places have only a thin layer of snow attached.In addition, there are some places that can be climbed without crampons, and the toes of the shoes can be drilled just right. The state of the ice wall will change as you climb up, and it is not fixed as one of them.It wasn't just the walls of ice that were as hard as stone that were scary.If you know it is hard in advance, you can take corresponding countermeasures.The headache is misreading the texture of the ice wall. What will happen when you step on the ice wall that you thought was soft, but the ice wall is actually much harder than you imagined?The claws of the crampons will be bounced off, and the body will lose its balance and fall. Even if there is a slight difference in height, when you step out without knowing it, it is the same as everyone almost falls at home. Grab the raisins from the pocket of the windbreaker and pop two or three into his mouth.Chew the raisins, chew them, and swallow them.In action, one must be diligent in replenishing energy.Digest it thoroughly, and can't even pass the feces. While thinking so, while chewing. While chewing, while climbing. Why climb a mountain? Fukamachi thought. Why do I want to climb up there? Do you think you will find any treasures on the mountain? Hanyu said that. Do you think you can get a good woman by climbing a mountain? Do you think you can find the value of survival by climbing mountains? Can't find it. Can't pick up anything on the mountain. If you can pick it up, it is something that exists in your heart. To put it bluntly, mountaineering may be an act of searching for the ore veins sleeping in one's heart.It was a journey to discover your inner self. Huh? Did I say huh just now? do not doubt! Focus on the present moment! After all right now, I'm climbing a mountain.Don't think of a reason! Not being able to pick up anything on the mountain I know that kind of thing all too well. So, why climb a mountain?Why do you actively choose to experience such painful things? Every time you take a step, you have to take three deep breaths repeatedly, out of breath. Why do you do this behavior? Hanyu said: Because I am here. He said: Because I am here, I climb the mountain. Like an answer, but not an answer.Not like an answer, but like an answer. Hanyu, why did you climb the mountain? You might know the answer, but I can't. I don't have an answer. Climbing a mountain because there are no answers? If you climb a mountain, will you find that answer at the top? Is that answer that shines like a jewel, the answer that is like a treasure, quietly placed in a secret room on the top of the mountain, or in a box buried in the snow? Impossible. No gems or answers. The act of climbing itself? That being the case, is the act of going to the summit the answer? Today, I am doing it.Does it make sense to step out of this foot, kick the crampon claws into the hard ice wall, and lift your body up step by step?Is the answer in the act itself? I'm so stupid. He was thinking about something boring. This is irrelevant. There is value in getting to the top. In the process, it doesn't make any sense at all to think about anything.Think about anything.It’s okay not to think about anything.Even if you think about the crotch of a woman, or the fairy kingdom in the sky, the key point is whether you have set foot on the peak.That's all, isn't it? Stepping to the top is a hero.If you haven't set foot on the peak, you're just scum.Even worse than scum. If you die, nothing good will happen. Wait a minute, say it again.It’s not enough to climb a mountain. So, what do people live for? For what, work every day, earn money, live? Isn't trying to think about why you climb a mountain the same as asking why you live? What do people live for?For what purpose do you live? wrong.wrong.Fukamachi, you are mistaken! Not people, not others.but you. Not a person, but why do you climb a mountain? What do you live for? Oh how stupid. Really stupid enough. Who said that the answer was not found on the top of the mountain? It doesn't matter who it is, but it's true.Nothing good can be picked up on the top of the mountain. That being the case, living is the same. Nowhere can the answer to the question of what to live for be found. That's right. It doesn't matter if you can't answer the question why you climb a mountain. Besides, those who press people to answer must first answer what they live for.If you can't answer it, you shouldn't be asking someone that difficult question. 且慢。 問的不是別人。 不是別人。難道是我在問我自己嗎？ 呿. Why 又在思考。 思考用不著思考的事。 明明另一個我拚死拚活地想讓自己的身體往上爬，但另一個我卻在思考無聊的事。思考時下連學生都不會去思考的幼稚的事。 別再想了，現在只要變成機器人就好。踏出一步，喘五下，接著把左手的冰斧打進冰壁，再喘三下。然後拔出右手的冰杖，打進冰壁，再用另一隻腳踏出一步。變成能夠正確反覆這一連串動作的機器人就好。 否則的話，變成蟲子也好。不用思考任何事情的蟲子。只是一味往上爬的蟲子。 哎，我在思考：不准思考！ 我在思考：可以不用思考。 我在思考：思考沒有意義。 仔細想想，我既不是機器人，也不是蟲子。 以人類深町誠這個人格擔任攝影師，和女人交往得不順利，連攝影師這份工作也沒有特別闖出轟轟烈烈的成績。 縱然叫這種人變成機器人，也變不成機器人。即使叫他變成蟲子，也變不成蟲子。 目前，深町誠正在爬。 攀附在這面冰壁上，身心萬般糾葛，就這樣整個人待在這裡。 那就是深町誠這個我。那就是現實。 既然如此，那個現實就是答案。 深町誠這個人，現在正在爬山 這樣不就夠了嗎？ 我已經爬到哪裡了呢？ gully在英語是指陡峭的岩溝。法語是couloir，德語經常以runse、rinne稱之。要從穿越這條中央岩溝的地方，選擇另一條岩溝當作路線，從那裡往上爬，那裡以法語稱為couloir。 像這樣在一座山上使用各個國家的名稱的情形，經常發生在喜瑪拉雅山上。這是因為各種隊伍進入同一座山，每次發現新路線，就會各自以自己國家的語言替那裡命名。 我爬到這條中央岩溝的哪裡了呢？ 中央岩溝的正中央一帶嗎？ 看高度計就會知道，但沒辦法那麼做。要從口袋裡拿出它也很麻煩。從口袋拿出來的，頂多是葡萄乾或巧克力。因為如果不時常把巧克力或葡萄乾放進嘴裡，就會沒命，但不看高度計也不會死。 八成已經超過七千公尺了。七千兩百到七千三百大概是在這一帶。 距離灰色岩塔的底部，還剩下三、四百公尺，相當於一棟半到兩棟新宿摩天大樓的高度。 岩溝的寬度大概有八十公尺到一百公尺左右。擁有那麼寬的寬度、海拔落差大約五百公尺的岩溝那裡塞滿了結凍、堅硬的雪。 中央地帶很危險，是雪崩和落石的通道。 必須以軸線右方三十公尺做為路線。 超過七千公尺之後，停止動作喘氣的時間變長了。 大概是將近剛才兩倍的時間。 相機好重。 深町心想，為什麼要帶這麼重的相機來呢？好想丟掉相機。 看見了灰色岩塔。 trum在德語是指塔。 灰色的塔。 它宛如以灰色的岩石所形成的塔般，屹立於西南大岩溝出口的斜坡上。高度大約三十公尺。 雖說是塔，並不是只有一座從岩壁中獨自分離出來，而是背後岩壁的一部分。 從那裡往前，是難關之一的巨大岩壁岩帶。 岩帶必須從位於其左側的左岩溝攀越。 喘氣，順便回頭隔著肩膀往下方望，看見了西谷的大雪原在遙遠的下方。 自己已經身在和對面努布峰的左右稜線差不了多少的高度。 開始起風了。 不知不覺間真的是這種感覺。 猛然回神，自己的身體暴露在風中。而且，好像越往上爬，風勢漸漸增強。 除此之外，還多了咳嗽。 因為反覆以嘴巴劇烈呼吸，所以喉嚨受損了。由於海拔變高，空氣密度變得稀薄，空氣中的水分自然減少，非常乾燥。 持續劇烈呼吸零下二十度以下的乾燥空氣，自然會變成那樣。 咳嗽開始停不了，幾乎不停地乾咳。 一咳嗽，那段期間呼吸就會變亂，咳完之後，就會更用力、更大口、更快速地呼吸空氣。 在這種情況下，風勢變得越來越強。 往左側一看。 聖母峰的西稜幾乎位在同高度。 稜線有的地方低於自己的高度，有的地方高於自己。那條稜線的對面就是西藏。 看見了雪煙從那條稜線劇烈地竄上高空。 是風嗎？那種風究竟是從什麼時候開始颳起的呢？ 來自西藏那一邊的風掀起雪煙，如今，正要吹到這面冰壁。 如果到達比西稜的稜線更高的地方，身體當然會暴露在至今被西稜擋住的風之中。 終於到達了那種高度。 置身於比聖母峰西稜更高處所颳起的風中風彷彿要刮落所有攀附在冰壁上的事物似地變強了。 冰壁表面也凍得硬梆梆。被風摩擦的冰坡 那裡受到陽光照射，閃閃發光。 風勢逐漸增強。 不但如此，雪開始出現了。 漫天飛舞的不只是雪煙。爬上西藏高原的風，攀越聖母峰的西稜時，接觸到冷空氣，在那裡產生雲。那片雲開始覆蓋聖母峰頂。 心臟和背脊同時被用力勒緊的感覺，竄過深町的身體。 上方立刻因為那片雲而漸漸看不見。 原本羽生化為一個點出現在上方的身影看不見了。 6 深町心想，還有多遠呢？ 還有多遠呢？ 自從看不見上方之後，已經持續爬了一小時以上。 身體暴露在強風之中，體溫因強風而不斷被奪走。 恐怕是零下二十五度的空氣。 如果那種空氣變成風打在人身上，體感溫度會變成更低的數值。即使穿著風衣風褲，但寒冷的程度相當於處在無風狀態下約零下三十度的環境中。 指尖正在失去感覺。 臉不迎風，面向反方向呼吸。以後腦勺受風，用下風側的嘴巴呼吸、吐氣。 一面反覆這個動作，一面一步、一步地往上爬。 氣息紊亂。 腳因為疲勞和寒冷而擡不起來。 還有多遠呢？還要爬多遠，才能抵達灰色岩塔呢？ 動不了。終於動不了了。 如今，變成了勉強在冰壁途中保持平衡，不摔下去的狀況。 what to do?即使就這樣不動，大概遲早也會因為腳尖沒力，最後摔下去。 what to do?Fukamachi asked himself. 7 無法動彈。 越過聖母峰西稜而來的風，試圖把深町從冰壁上扯下來。自己的身體和冰壁之間一旦產生一點縫隙，風就會鑽進那裡，讓身體從冰壁浮起來。 腦袋也因為缺氧而變成昏昏沉沉。 no. Fukamachi thought. 他開始覺得設法不被風颳走的那種行為也不再重要。 明明這麼疲倦，你為什麼還要那麼努力呢？放開手摔下去，好獲得解脫、得到休息。把身體交給重力。這是個迷人的想法。 這個想法不差，因為那樣比較輕鬆。 令深町攀附在那面冰壁上的，是對於死亡的恐懼。 那種恐懼險些變淡。 如果恐懼消失，就只剩下義務感。 因為非緊緊抓住這裡不可 那種心情變成心靈支柱。 決定緊緊抓住這裡。所以緊緊抓住。僅止於此。 但是，為何決定那種事？ Fukamachi asked himself. 為了保住一條命？ 如果不緊緊抓住，就會摔下去。摔下去就會死。 所以，為了保住一條命而緊緊抓住。 為何為了保住一條命，要做那種事呢？ 因為不想死。 為何不想死呢？明明沒有經歷過死亡。 因為害怕。 Fear? 害怕死亡嗎？ That's right. you're lying. 你現在並不害怕死亡。 或許你不想死，但你大概更不想在這種寒風中，緊緊抓住冰壁吧。 手腳疲憊不堪。 沒有感覺。 如果能夠逃離這種痛苦，對於死亡的恐懼又算得了什麼？ 那種呼吸是怎麼回事？ 比現在吹來的風更狂亂、快速。 喉嚨像野獸般發出呼嚕呼嚕的聲音。 明明沒有在動，但卻像飢餓的野獸全力奔跑尋找完全不存在的獵物似地喘氣。心臟會因為這種呼吸而磨損，和氣息一起從嘴巴跑出體外！ 手臂、雙腿都到了極限，若不採取自我確保，就會摔下去。 然而，要在哪裡採取自我確保？到處都是像石頭一樣的堅冰。 能將冰楔釘打進這種冰裡嗎？大概可以吧。 如果自己現在有更多體力，這裡是頂多五千公尺不，六千公尺的高度也可，在五、六千公尺的高度，然後沒有風的話 Why 那種夢話之後再想吧。 回去之後 可以泡在熱水裡想，也可以在日本的居酒屋，和宮川邊喝酒邊想。 That's right.之後再在日本想吧。啤酒就免了。我不想喝冰啤酒。最好是溫熱的酒。邊喝那種酒邊想。 宮川，我說的沒錯吧？ What do you want to drink?你的故鄉是新潟吧？那裡有好酒，對吧？嗯，交給你決定。Everything is fine.至於下酒菜嘛，烤石鱸或烤鰤魚下巴。不，熬煮成湯也不錯。熱呼呼的，冒著熱氣 快，快點點菜！ Hello 身體浮起來了，左手的冰斧從冰壁脫落。 呼風聲像野獸的吼叫聲般打在耳朵上。 緊緊抓住冰壁。 那是幻覺。 差點摔下去。 哎，我剛才確實一心以為自己在日本。出神地聽著居酒屋的喧囂，聞著烤魚的煙味，以及醬油的焦香味，而宮川那傢伙就坐在身旁 Oh shit!深町咬牙切齒。 再度把左手的冰斧打進冰壁。 再度把冰爪的前爪蹬進冰壁。 剛才，把大腦用於思考無謂的事情上了。 This is how the same thing?思考代表使用大腦。使用大腦代表以大腦消耗氧。浪費氧總之，要在這裡採取自我確保，腳底下太過不穩。必須移動到腳底下更穩一點的地方。 我不曉得冰楔釘能夠打進堅冰多深，但如今，只能那麼做。打進冰楔釘，在那裡採取自我確保休息，讓肌肉休息。 在那段期間，等待風說不定會停止的奇蹟。如果風不停止，自己大概會死在這裡。 四周雪白一片。 風在耳畔呼呼咆哮。 至少找個腳底下穩固的地方。 Hello 有聲音。 這邊 深町一看，有兩個男人飄在一旁的白色空間。 明明身在強風之中，卻紋風不動。 深町 其中一個男人說。 是井岡弘一。 另一個人是船島隆。 他們身上帶著登山用品。 我們幫你吧。 船島說。 我替你捶冰楔釘。 因為冰斧很輕。不管用冰斧再怎麼捶，也沒辦法把冰楔釘捶進冰壁寸許。 不用了，井岡哥。 船島哥。 我自己來。 是喔，你要自己來啊，深町 嗯，自己來最好。 如果可以的話，自己的事自己來，這才叫做登山者。 yes. 非自己來不可。 既然這樣，喏，過來我們站的地方。 站在這裡，從這裡捶的話，很容易捶進去唷。 那，就那麼辦吧。 深町從冰壁擡起左腳，突然失去了平衡。他拚命把左腳的冰爪前爪再次踢進冰壁。 井岡和船島在今年五月，都死於這座聖母峰。自己不是拍下了他們死亡的那一瞬間嗎？ 井岡和船島咧嘴笑著，從半空中注視著深町。 宛如石頭的雪片和風，劇烈地穿透兩人的身體。 是幻覺啊。 或者，兩人的靈魂仍在嚴寒的這片天空中徘徊呢？ 真遺憾啊，深町 嗯，真遺憾。 井岡和船島說。 兩人彎腰屈膝，做出像是要跳水的動作。 再會啦。 掰掰啦。 說完，他們飛走了。 兩人的身體飛向白色空間內，向下墜落，旋即看不見了。 Oh shit!深町吼道。 我怎麼能死！ 我怎麼能死！ 我怎麼能死！ he cried. 不曉得是出聲叫道，或者在心裡吶喊。 即使開口喊叫，聲音離開嘴唇的那一剎那，就會被風撕碎，立刻被帶到距離地面八千公尺的高空四散。大概還來不及傳至耳朵，就飄散於這片廣大的空間裡。 驀地，腦袋瓜一下子變得清晰。 下方五公尺左右，應該有個地方，冰壁偏左邊峰狀隆起。 如果是那裡，就能讓冰爪鞋底的爪子全部傾斜抓住冰壁。 如果能 如果能下降到那裡的話。 那件事做得到嗎？而且是現在。 這樣的我。 不，不是做不做得到。而是非做到不可。要去做。只能嘗試。反正如果就這樣待在這裡，這條命大概連五分鐘也撐不下去吧。 搞不好一口氣滑落一千幾百公尺，撞上西谷邊緣，死在那裡。 如果死了，屍體會被這些雪埋住，被冰河搬運，說不定一千年後，屍體在冰河末端被人發現。大概也有那種死法吧。 然而，我不要主動選擇那種死法。沒有人會選擇那種死法。 盡人事，聽天命。 只能這樣。 如果最後，屍體還是被冰封在那條冰河內部，那已經超乎我的能力範圍。只能聽從神明的安排。我現在只要做我能做的事。