Chapter 13 Chapter 11 The Unforgiving Land

I woke up screaming.Light and chill penetrated the snow cave.The nightmare gradually receded, and I remembered that I was no longer in the ice crevasse.I tried to forget that nightmare, and my whole body relaxed accordingly.I lay motionless, looking at the rough ceiling.The surroundings were as silent as death.Is there still a blizzard raging outside?I don't want to move, because after a long cold night, it hurts to move.I pulled my leg carefully, only to have a sharp sting in my knee.I watched the water vapor I exhaled cover the ceiling of the cave, and I was in a daze. The dream was so vivid, I almost took it for granted.I saw myself back on the ice rock bridge, slumped against the crevasse wall and sobbing.I see myself weeping, but instead of hearing the cry, I hear myself repeating a monologue from a Shakespeare play:

∮ But dying, I don't know where to go, To lie rotting in cold stagnation, Let this warm and sensitive body become kneaded mud Now that I'm awake, I remember where I am, but those lines are still playing in my head.I still remember where I read it.One day ten years ago, I recited these lines aloud in my room because there was a middle school general literature exam that morning.I was amazed because I hadn't read the lines since then, but now I can say them verbatim: ∮ Listen to the soul that has lost its glory bathed in torrents of fire, Or live in the bitter cold frozen into dead branches,

To be imprisoned in the invisible wind, Blown by endless violence Suspended world I was overjoyed, chanting in a low voice to the silent snow, listening to the strange sound effects in the snow cave.I chuckled, and started reciting again when I couldn't remember the following.I lay in my sleeping bag with only my nose showing.Later I simply became more daring and imitated the actor Lawrence.Oliver's voice recited aloud, forgetting how terrifying the lines sounded in the dream: ∮ Blindly guessing what's worse than the worst Roared: "It's terrible!" old age, pain, poverty, prison

most detestable life Still Xanadu If compared to the fear of death. Finally I got tired of the game, and the silence drowned out everything again.The excitement was gone, and I felt depressingly lonely and stupid.I thought about the meaning of these words, and the dream, and I almost shed tears. My feet are buried in the flowing snow.I tried to kick the snow off my feet, but the burning pain in my knee made me cry out.I accidentally knocked a hole in the roof of the cave as I struggled to roll up the wet sleeping bag on my calf.The bright sun suddenly swept away the shadows in the snow cave, and I knew the snowstorm was over.I took the ice ax and cleared away what was left of the cave roof.It's going to be hot today.The sun quickly chased away the chill from the cold night, and I sat in the remnants of the snow cave, looking around.Below is a slope leading to an ancient crevasse filled with snow.Straight ahead lay the moraine, but it was not visible from the glacier.The earth is covered with a piece of silvery white, which is amazingly smooth.The blizzard completely covered the footprints I followed last night.As far as I could see, the surface of the glacier was covered with rolling waves of pure white snow.

I slowly put the sleeping bag back into the backpack and rolled up the moisture pad with my stiff fingers when I realized how thirsty I was.If yesterday was bad, I don't know how to describe today's situation.I try to remember where there is a body of moving water nearby.I only remember seeing water on the bombing trail, but that was still a few kilometers away.Today, unless you are lucky, you may not get there.As soon as I thought of this, I was shocked to realize that everything had been planned in an orderly manner.I don't remember estimating how long it would take to get to camp, however, I must have had a plan in mind as I wasn't expecting to reach the bombing trail today.My head seems to be getting a little weird.I can't remember the sequence of events from the previous day.There are only vague, disconnected memories: hollow snow in crevasses, sun beams, avalanches in a blizzard, rolling down a slope to where I dug a snow cave, human figures in ice cliffs But other times happened What's up?Is this caused by lack of food and water?How many days have I not eaten or drank?Three days, no, two days and three nights!OMG!I was horrified at the thought.I know that at this altitude, you need to drink at least one and a half liters of fluids per day to resist dehydration in the mountains.I am burning myself empty.I'm not worried about food.I don't feel hungry, although I must have expended a lot of energy, but I feel like I still have strength.In fact, what I'm afraid of is the feeling of my tongue being dry and sticky to the roof of my mouth.The smell of water from the surrounding snow, heated by the sun, enveloped me and made me almost panic.Eating snow can temporarily relieve dry mouth, but I can't imagine how much damage it will cause to the body.Eating snow can never satisfy the body's thirst.I looked at the endless stretches of snow and thought that whatever my subconscious plans seemed to be in vain.I can't do it.

Oh, God!Is this what happened to me?I've climbed so far and finally I can't keep going due to lack of water I slid down the slope and started climbing out of the snow hole.I'll try to get to the Moraine by noon, and then I'll make up my mind.Sitting on a glacier and worrying is not going to help.Maybe I can't, maybe I can.As long as I stay mobile and busy, I'm not all that concerned with the outcome.Waiting for the results to come is what makes me feel scared and lonely. I crawl carefully.With no footprints to follow, maintaining the same direction is critical.Knowing that there were many wide crevasses on the left, I crawled close to the right bank of the glacier that circles Yalupaja.Every once in a while, I staggered up on one foot, supporting my body with my left leg and looking forward.Every time I get a wider view, it surprises me.I could see far enough to make out the characteristic crevasses in the path I came across.However, those unexpected crevasses terrified me, made me more tired, and made me more aware of how vulnerable I was during the crawl.

After an hour, I convinced myself that I might be able to walk.My injured leg glides smoothly behind me and seems to be less painful.It occurred to me that maybe my knee was only partially torn, and now that I had rested overnight and it had been a long time since I hurt it, maybe it was getting better enough to support my weight.I stood up, supported the swing of my body with my left leg, gently placed my injured foot on the snow, and slowly pressed my body down.There is some pain, but it is bearable.I know it will hurt, but I think as long as I put my mind to it, I can keep walking.I brace myself and move forward.When the weight shifted to the injured leg, I felt something twist and slide inside the knee joint, and the bones creaked against each other, which made me sick.

I fell down in the snow, not knowing how I fell.The feeling of vomiting went all the way down my throat, I couldn't breathe, and I finally vomited out.Burning with pain in my knee, I sobbed and scolded myself for being so stupid.I felt like I broke my leg all over again.The cold snow stimulated my face and drove away the dizziness.I sat up, swallowed some snow, cleared the bitter taste of bile from my mouth, and sat down.Standing up just now, I saw the first set of crevasses leading to the moraine about a hundred meters ahead.I can't walk, I have to climb over the broken parts, so I can't see far enough and may go the wrong way.I'm thinking about this, which means I'm not yet sure about the route.I remember that we took a complicated route to cross the 130-meter-long parallel ice crevasse between here and the moraine, sometimes crossing narrow snow bridges dividing the crevasse, more often to avoid Climb short steep slopes through open caves.I doubt I can climb down these obstacles.

I lay on my backpack and stared straight at the sky.My instincts are loudly warning me not to jump over here, but I can't think of any other options.I subconsciously ate snow and fell into madness.I was resisting the inevitable decision, unwilling to act.There were no clouds to see and no birds to fly by.I was still lying still, my eyes wide open but not looking at anything.Thinking wildly in my head, but I don't want to think about the current situation. I woke up suddenly.move!Don't lie there, don't doze off, move!That voice shatters the clutter of pop lyrics, old faces, and worthless fantasies.I started to crawl, trying to pick up the pace to assuage my guilt.As for what awaited me in the crevasse, I didn't think much of it.

I stopped every now and then, stood up to check the correct course, and slowly entered the crevasse.There are many slopes in the flat snow, and I am anxious and constantly changing directions.When I looked back, I saw that the crawl trail I had left was extremely winding, or in a circle, or in a zigzag shape, all the way to the flat ski field where I camped out last night.Like in a maze, I initially thought I knew which direction to go, only to realize that I was completely lost.The ice crevasses are becoming more and more distorted, and the number is also increasing.I stood up and stared at the fragmented, disorganized crevasses and covered potholes, unable to judge my position based on the vague images in my mind.I've often just identified a crevasse, only to take a second look and realize I was mistaken.Every crevasse distorted the second I looked at it.I tried to concentrate, but I was getting dizzy.I grew more and more afraid of falling into a crevasse, and tried desperately to figure out the best way out of the maze.The harder I try, the worse it gets, and I'm going crazy.which way?which way?On the other side I suspect I'll just crawl into a dead end, another dangerous crevasse.

I crawled back and forth, and time seemed to slow down.I retraced the tracks I had left, forgetting what I had seen, until I saw a gap again, which seemed to mock me.I wanted to jump over smaller crevasses and narrow gaps, which I would have jumped without hesitation before, but now I dare not risk jumping on one foot, so I try to suppress this idea.Even if I jumped over it, I might lose control and slide into the parallel chasm directly ahead. I was anxious and tired, and fell on the snow bridge between two crevasses.I lay on my side, looking in dismay at the narrow snow bridge beneath me.This snow bridge seems somewhat familiar, but I can't remember when I saw it.When I saw the snow bridge gradually narrowing just now, I couldn't help being discouraged, thinking that I had to turn around again.I've approached this snow edge a few times before, but now it feels different.The first few times I didn't dare to try to stand on it because I was afraid of falling into the holes on the sides.I sat up and focused on searching for some landmarks in my memory in the snow ahead.The snow bridge appears to bend to the left and then decrease in height.Just by standing up, I can be sure that the rising excitement inside me is justified.I tried to straighten my body with the ice axe, but my body shook involuntarily, feeling very unstable. On the other side of the snow bridge, I was seeing the black outline of a boulder on a flat snow slope.That's where the Moraine begins.I leaned back on the snow bridge again, and climbed carefully to the narrowest position.The snow bridge curves to the left and leads to the snow-covered moraine.There are no more crevasses ahead. I sat with my back against a huge yellow rock and stared at the trail I had made all the way down the glacier.The lines twisted and circled wildly across the shattered ice, as if some sort of giant bird was hopping around the snow in search of food.I am extremely thirsty.Sitting here now, it's not hard to see an easy route, and I suddenly feel ridiculous for taking such a stupid route. There was some hysterical element in my good mood, and the weak tremors all over my body also convinced me that it must be God's blessing that I was able to cross this road alive.The surface of the glacier shimmers and undulates like waves, and it seems to me that the sea is gently surging with microwaves.I rubbed my eyes and took a closer look.Vision is a little blurry.I turned to look at the cluttered black moraine leading to the lake, which also looked hazy and out of focus.The more I rubbed my eyes, the more blurred they became, and a sharp sting made me cry, tears covering my vision.Snow blind! Oh hell!What kind of misfortune has happened to me! My sunglasses shattered when I broke my leg under a cliff, and I have been unable to remove my contact lenses for the past two days and nights.I tried to squint my eyes as narrow as possible, but when I saw the dazzling light on the glacier, my eyes burned unbearably, and round tears rolled down my cheeks.It was a little better looking at the dark moraine, and I found it easier to focus by squinting my eyes.I moved awkwardly to the other side of the boulders, facing the moraine, and this short hop confirmed my fears: the glacier was actually the easiest part of the descent. I lolled against the rocks, feeling the comforting warmth and relaxation of being basked in the sun.I needed a good rest before crossing the moraine, so I dozed off quickly.Half an hour later, that voice broke the silence rudely and invaded my dreamland like the murmur of a distant stream.He repeated words that I couldn't ignore: Wake up!There is still work to be done, and a long way to go!Don't sleep, hurry up! I sit up.Dazedly watching a torrent of black rocks meandering away from my eyes.For a moment, I lost my sense of direction and didn't know where I was. It's all rocks!I've been in the snow for so many days and these rocks are very new to me.I have never seen so many rocks before reaching the summit.How long ago was that?I recalled it a few times in confusion before I remembered it.was it four days ago?But that doesn't make sense to me.Is it four days or six days, what does it matter?Doesn't seem to make a difference.I've been in the mountains for so long, and it seems like I'm going to stay here forever in this half-dream state, waking up now and then to the harsh reality, remembering why I'm here, and falling back into the comfortable fantasy world.rock!These moraines.certainly!I leaned back against the boulder and closed my eyes.But the voice kept calling me, giving me instructions, repeatedly reminding me that I must complete the task.I leaned back and listened, resisting my instinct to obey.I just want to sleep a little longer.In the end, I couldn't resist the voice, and I started to follow the instructions again. As I was getting ready, the melody of a song kept ringing in my head.I found that I could sing the entire lyrics verbatim, however I'm sure in the past I only remembered the chorus.I hummed as I draped my soggy sleeping bag over the boulders, feeling content, which must be a good sign.My memory remains intact.I dump the contents of my backpack on the snow beside me and start sifting through.The small saucepan and stove were set aside by me.I was out of gas so stuffed the stove in the sleeping bag organizer.I took off my helmet and crampons and packed them into a red storage bag.My ice hammer and sling are all set up, and all that's left is a headlamp, camera, sleeping bag, ice ax and pot.I picked up the camera from the snow and considered whether to put it in the storage bag as well.I had already taken out the negatives after reaching the summit, and the camera was useless.But I remembered how hard I had found the camera at a second-hand store, so I put it back in my backpack.I stuffed the sleeping bag and headlamp on top of the pack and closed it.I tucked the shiny aluminum pot between two small rocks on top of the boulders, and the sun shone brightly on the surface.I put the red organizer on the bottom of the boulder and sat back contentedly.It's a good habit to keep things neat and organized. When I finished packing, another tune came to my mind.I hate this song, but somehow I just can't get this repeating melody out of my head and it annoys me so much.I tried to forget the lyrics while I was packing the pads, the brown girl on the phone said a part of me subconsciously carried out the task as if ordered, and the other part kept singing silly and boring songs lyrics. I unfolded the yellow moisture-proof mat and spread it on the snow beside me.The moisture pad is much longer than I thought it would be.I tried tearing the mat in half and it turned out that the texture of the mat was so tough that I couldn't tear it apart.So I took the flat shovel on the ice ax to chop, and cut many small holes in it, forming a jagged line.I tore the pad again, and this time the pad snapped along the line between the holes.I wrapped the pad around my knees twice, pulling it tight with all my strength, and I curled up in pain.I took out the straps of my crampons and fastened them tightly around my upper thighs, tightening the straps with my stiff fingers.The other strap goes around the calf and is also held securely.That way, when I lift my leg, the knee stays fixed and doesn't bend.I am very satisfied with the result.But the pads slipped away at the knee, so I modified the splint with two straps from my backpack.I attached two straps to my thigh and calf very close to the joint, and wearily leaned back against the boulder.I screamed as I tightened the straps around my knee, but gradually the constant pressure on my knee eased the pain into throbbing pain. I stood up, leaning heavily on the boulders, dizzy.I clung even harder to the rock to keep from falling.Hard times passed.I put my backpack on and picked up the ice ax from the snow.A wide moraine, strewn with boulders in unbroken stretches, snaked away in front of me.I know that the boulders in the upper reaches of the moraine are larger and then gradually shrink to smaller rocks and rubble as they get closer to the lake.I can't crawl or walk through here, so I have to hop on one foot. The first time I jumped, I fell down, my face fell on the ground, my forehead hit the edge of a boulder heavily, and my knees twisted violently under my body.I yelled out.After the pain subsided, I tried again.I hold an ice ax less than 70 centimeters long in my right hand, barely acting as a crutch, and carefully support the ice ax on the ground, arching my back, like a veteran with arthritis.Putting my full weight on the ice axe, I lifted my failing right leg forward, parallel to my left.I braced myself with the ice ax and hopped forward on one foot.I jumped so violently that I could only sway unsteadily to avoid falling forward again.I have advanced a meter and a half in total!I tried again and fell hard again.This time the pain took longer to subside, and when I stood up again, I felt a burning sensation in my knee under the splint. After ten metres, I managed to improve my shambling technique, albeit inefficiently and sweating profusely from the effort.I've learned that it's best not to put your right leg in front of your left and, moreover, not to hop hard on one foot, but to swing your body forward and keep your balance.For the first ten meters, I fell once every two hops, but by the end I was able to do two hops and still be upright.Remembering the patterns I took when traversing ledges and climbing out of crevasses, I concentrated on my hop technique.I break up the hop into individual movements that I repeat rigorously: place the ice axe, lift the foot forward, brace the body, hop up, place the ice axe, lift the foot, brace the body, jump up, place Ice axe, lift foot, brace body, jump It was one o'clock in the afternoon when I began my descent down the moraine, four and a half hours before dark.Place the ice axe, lift your feet, brace your body, and jump.I need water.I can't get to the bomb trail.Placing the ice ax, lifting the foot and continuing, I was able to do it subconsciously, without needing to concentrate.I get discouraged every time I fall, but it's inevitable.The handle of the ice ax would slip as soon as it rested on the loose rocks, causing me to fall in the jump, and even land on the gravel, and then fell sideways into the boulders.I tried to protect my knee, but it didn't work.My legs had no strength to move my knee to the safe side.I always fell head-on and pinned my knees, or slammed into rocks.The excruciating pain caused by each impact was difficult to relieve.However, for whatever reason, the speed of my recovery has improved significantly.I stopped yelling when I fell because I found that yelling doesn't help.Shouting is for others to hear, but these moraines don't give a damn about me.Sometimes I cry like a child because of the pain and frustration, more often I feel sick.But I didn't throw up because there was nothing to throw up.Two hours later, I turned back to see the way I had traveled, and the glacier was far away, a dirty white cliff, which proved that my descent was well advanced, and my spirits were high. The voice kept urging me: place the ice axe, lift my feet, brace myself, jump up and move on.See how far you've come.just do it and don't think about it I follow instructions.Stumbling across the boulders, sometimes climbing over the boulders, falling down again and again, crying, cursing to the rhythm of the beating.I forgot why I did it, and I forgot that I probably couldn't do it at all.I let my instincts drive me, never doubting.I was drifting slowly on the sea of ​​moraine, in a state of trance frenzy, suffering from thirst and pain, and constantly jumping forward.I set a strict schedule for myself.I look ahead, find a landmark, and give myself half an hour to arrive.Whenever I got close to my target, I would have a strong desire to look at my watch, which later became part of my forward pattern. I placed the ice ax, lifted my feet, braced myself, jumped, and checked the time.If you find yourself running late, you try to speed up in the last ten minutes.Once the speed is increased, the number of falls will be much more, but if you want to beat time, you must do so.Only once did I fail and wept in frustration.The watch became vital, no lower than my left leg.I couldn't feel the passage of time, and every time I fell, I would lie on the ground half unconscious in pain, unable to perceive how much time had passed.Glancing at my watch at this point spurs me into motion, especially when I find myself unconscious for five minutes instead of what it feels like to be thirty seconds. These boulders make me feel small.Moraine is as lifeless as a glacier, full of drab rocks.Dirt, and rocks, and dirty gravel.I looked for traces of insects, but found not a single one.No birds were seen flying either.It was dead silent.Outside of forward mode and that sound, my imagination raced wildly from one empty thought to the next.A piece of music is flowing in my mind, and I can see various images from the rocks I lean on.There were patches of snow between the rocks, dirty and gritty, but I swallowed them.The thirst for water became paranoid.Pain, dehydration.That's my world.nothing else. I heard the sound of water dripping between the rocks.How many times have I heard the sound of water drops?After falling again, I lay prone on the ground, and there was indeed the sound of running water.I moved my body sideways and the sound got louder.I feel myself smiling greedily.This time it will be big.I say that every time.However, what is found is always a trickle, disappearing into the soil.I moved again towards a broken boulder to the right.Where!Ha ha!I knew it!A thin silver thread ran across the side of the boulder.As thick as shoelaces, but a little bigger than the previous ones.I crawled closer and focused on the current.I have to think about it. Don't touch it!It may sink. I poked the gritty mud with my finger.Water poured into the poked hole and flowed. ah!It worked! Taking extra care, I widened the small hole into a shallow depression about the size of a saucer.The water shimmered in the hole, and I bent down, feeling itchy when the tip of my nose touched the surface of the water.Then I pursed my lips and sucked greedily, but only got half a mouthful of gritty water.I swirl the water back and forth in my mouth, feeling my tongue gradually separate from the roof of my mouth.I think if you swish it in your mouth instead of swallowing it, it will absorb more water.It was a stupid idea, but I did it anyway.The water in the hollows collects slowly.When the poly was half full I went to suck again and ended up sucking in a lot of grit and mud.I choked, coughed violently, spat back the precious fluid, and ruined the dimple. I rebuilt the pool, but couldn't hold the water.I dug a deeper hole, but it was always dry.The water seeps away.I didn't think about where the water was going.There will be no more water until the next time you find a stream.That voice interrupted me.I stood up unsteadily. The weather in the afternoon has been fine.There will be no blizzards at night.The sky will remain clear and starry, but the absence of clouds will make it colder.I looked ahead for a landmark and saw the moraine drop off abruptly fifteen meters away.I recognized the place immediately.There is a sheer cliff formed by the outburst of ice beneath the moraine.We climbed over these cliffs when we went up the mountain, and we parted ways with Richard.I approached close to the right bank of the moraine, where the boulders were least cluttered, and where the moraine descended into a cliff with steep, rocky sides that were smooth.It was about twenty-five meters high, covered with mud, and smooth as glass.Now I remember.We chose a winding climbing route, carefully avoiding many huge rock blocks.Once the sun melts away the ice, the rocks are very unstable, if only barely balanced.Reaching these cliffs gave me a strange sense of excitement.They may be the last fatal hurdle.Once past here, I just have to crawl.No more crevasses or cliffs to threaten me.I timed myself and staggered towards the top of the cliff. I figured out the way down the cliff, sat at the start, and tried to figure out the best way to go down.Should I sit facing out and move my butt and move down, or should I face the cliff and lower myself with the ice ax?I regret throwing away my crampons.This is where a pair of crampons can make all the difference.I decided to sit face-out, butt-down, so at least I could always see which way I was going down. Halfway down the climb I started to gloat.It's so easy.What was I afraid of just now?The answer was revealed suddenly: the rock I was holding on to suddenly came loose, and I lunged sideways and began to slide.I scratched at the muddy ice with my hands, trying to hold onto the embedded rock.My body rolled over, my jaw squeezed against the ice, and my head kept getting hit.I try to slow down the slide.Suddenly I stopped. It turned out that my left boot was stuck in a crack in the rock.I was shaking violently. I staggered off the rocks, looking back at the ice cliffs a few times.The cliffs get smaller every time I look, and I feel like I'm getting rid of some lingering, invisible threat.Those ice cliffs are the entrance to the mountains, and I grinned as I looked at them.In a sense, I won a battle.I can feel this deep down.At this point I just need to keep going in forward mode, get over the pain, and rehydrate.Will I be able to reach the bombing trail tonight?That is the result worth laughing at!I'm not far from there, it only takes 20 minutes to walk, it shouldn't be very difficult! So I made a mistake.Instead of looking for landmarks and timing, I just focused on the bomb trail and the silvery stream of melted snow on both sides.When it was dark, I had no idea how far the bombing trail was, or how far I had crawled.Every time I fell I would lie still in a dazed, exhausted state without checking the time.Just laying down, listening to the endless story that goes on and on with the pain.I looked at short-lived dreams related to real life, playing songs that matched the rhythm of my heartbeat in my head, and licking the water in the mud with my mouth. I wasted a lot of time in the empty dreams.Now, I staggered forward in the dark, black in front of my eyes, and my mind was full of bomb trails.The voice told me I must sleep, rest, and forget about the trail, but I ignored it.I took the headlamp out of the pack and continued stumbling forward until the light went out.There is no moonlight tonight.The stars are arranged in various bright patterns, casting faint light on the moraine. At ten o'clock I stumbled again and fell hard on the rocks.Since the headlights went out three hours ago, I've fallen over almost every jump.I know very well that I have only advanced a few hundred meters during this time.Now, I can't stand up.I tried, but somehow I couldn't muster the strength to get myself up.My overworked body forced me to stop.That voice worked.I awkwardly got into my sleeping bag and fell asleep right away.