Chapter 13 4th Tuesday Learn to die so you can learn to live

Let's start with this, Murray said: Everyone knows they're going to die one day, but no one takes it seriously. This Tuesday, his attitude was rather matter-of-fact.The topic we talked about was death, which was the first item on my list.Before I arrived, Murray had jotted down some things on a few small blank sheets of paper in case he forgot.His handwriting was trembling and distorted now, only he could read it.It was almost Labor Day, and I could look out of Murray's window and I could see the spinach-colored fence in the backyard and hear the children playing in the street. , this is their last week of freedom before school starts.

In Detroit, workers on strike at the newspaper office are preparing to hold a large-scale demonstration on Labor Day, uniting with local labor unions to denounce the stubborn and unyielding management.While I was on the plane, I read in the newspaper that a woman shot her husband and two daughters in their sleep because she didn't want them to be hurt by bad people.In California, the prosecutors and defense lawyers in the Simpson case have become celebrities that everyone talks about. In Murray's room, every day of life is too precious to be missed.We sat together, a few meters away from the recently delivered oxygen machine at his home.This portable oxygen machine is quite small, reaching only knee height.Some nights when Murray has trouble breathing, he attaches long plastic tubes to his nostrils to keep the tubes firmly attached.I didn't want to think about Murray being kept alive by a machine, so I tried not to look at the oxygen machine while Murray was talking.

Everyone knows they're going to die one day, Murray repeated: but no one takes it seriously.Otherwise, we wouldn't be like this. I said, so we are deceiving ourselves about death. True, but there is a better way.It's much better to know you're going to die and be ready for it.In this way, when you are alive, you can really be more involved. How can you ever be ready to die? Like Buddhists.Imagine a little bird standing on your shoulder every day, asking: Is it today?am i readyAm I doing my best?Do I have a clear conscience? He turned his head to one side, as if a little bird had actually perched on his shoulder.

He said: Is today the day I die? Murray may be said to be free to come and go between religions.He was Jewish by birth, but events as a child prompted him to become an agnostic as a teenager.He is very accepting of certain teachings of Buddhism and Christianity, and he has never forgotten his roots in Judaism.He is inclusive of all religions, which also makes him more open-minded to all kinds of students.What he said in the last few months of his life seemed to transcend the controversies of various religions.Death gives man this faculty. Mitch, in fact, said: as long as you learn to die, you learn to live.

I nod. I repeat, he said: as soon as you learn to die, you learn to live.He smiled, and I understood what he meant.He wanted to make sure I remembered that, but he didn't want to embarrass me by questioning me.He is just so persuasive, which makes him a good teacher. I ask, before you got sick, did you ever think more about death? No, Murray smiled: I'm just like everyone else.I once happily said to a friend: I will be the healthiest old birthday person you know! How old were you at that time? Sixties. So you were optimistic. why not?Like I said, nobody really believes they're going to die.

I said, but who doesn't know or know some people who have died, why is it so hard for him to imagine death? Because most of us are like sleepwalking.We don't actually experience the world fully because we're half asleep, doing what we think we have to do. Will standing up to death change all that? oh yes.You strip it all away and focus on what's important.When you understand that you are going to die, things look quite differently. He sighed.Learn how to die and you learn how to live. I noticed that his hands were shaking all the time now.His glasses hung around his neck, and when he picked them up and tried to put them on, the temples of the glasses always slipped over his forehead and couldn't be put on, as if he was wearing glasses for others in the dark.I reached over and helped him put his glasses on.

Thank you, Murray said softly.When I brushed my hand over his head, a smile appeared on his face.Even the slightest human contact was a joy to him. Mitch, do you want to hear a word from me? I said, of course. You may find it unpleasant. How to say? Well, in fact, if you really listen to the bird on your shoulder, if you really accept the fact that you could die at any moment then you might not be as competitive as you are now. I forced a smile. The things you spend so much time doing, the work you do, may not seem so important anymore.You might want to spend more time on things of the heart.

Mind thing? You don't like that word, do you?soul.You think it's sentimental stuff. I said, this is it. He gave a wink, but it was so poorly done that I couldn't help laughing. He laughed too, and said: Mitch, I don't know what spiritual growth really means, but I'm sure we're missing something.We place too much value on material things and they just don't satisfy us.We and our loved ones, and the world around us, we all take for granted. He tilted his head toward the window, and the bright sunlight was pouring into the room.Did you see it?You can go out, step outside, whenever you want.You can run up and down the street and be as crazy as you want, but I can't help it.I can't go out, I can't run, I risk getting sicker if I go out.but you know what?I understand the value of that window better than you do.

understand its value? That's right.I look out of that window every day.I notice the changes in the trees and how the wind is stronger or weaker today.I seem to be able to see the time slipping through the window lattice.I know I don't have many days to come, so I am deeply attracted by nature, as if what I see before my eyes is the first time. He stopped talking, and for a while we just looked out the window in silence.I tried to see what he saw, tried to see time and seasons, saw my life go by in slow motion.Murray lowered his head slightly, leaning to one shoulder. Little bird, is it today?He asked: Is it today?

Since Murray was interviewed twice on the "Nightline" program, letters from all over the world flew in like a snowflake.When he was physically strong, he would sit up and call together some family and friends, who would write and he would dictate, and reply to each letter in this way. One Sunday, his two sons, Robert and John, were at home, and they all gathered in the living room.Murray was in a wheelchair, and his bony legs were covered with felt.If he is cold, a nurse puts a coat over his shoulders. Murray asked: Who will read the first letter? A colleague read a letter from a woman named Nancy whose mother also died of ALS.She wrote that she was overwhelmed by her mother's death, and she knew how much Murray had suffered from the disease.

After hearing the letter, Murray closed his eyes and said: OK, let's write back and say: Dear Nancy, I am deeply moved by your mother's story, and I empathize with what happened to you.Illness is sad and tormenting for both the patient and the family.Remembering my late mother was a good thing for me, and I hope it's a good thing for you too. Robert said: The last sentence may need to be changed. Murray thought for a moment and said: You are right.Can you change it to I hope you can find the power to heal and relieve pain when you miss your deceased mother. Is it better? Robert nodded. Murray said: Finally add: Thank you very much, enter Murray. Another letter was from a woman named Jane, who thanked him for the many revelations he had given her on Nightline and described him as a prophet. One of Murray's colleagues said: Prophet, that's a high compliment. Murray made a grimace, obviously feeling well deserved for his words.Let us thank her for her kindness, and tell her that I am glad that what I said meant something to her. Don't forget to sign Thank you very much, Murray. A letter from a mother-bereaved man in England said he hoped Murray could help put him in touch with his mother in the spirit world.A couple wrote in saying they wanted to drive to Boston to meet him.A former graduate student wrote a long letter about what happened after she left college, a tragedy happened to someone close to her who committed suicide after a murder, she had a third miscarriage, and her mother died of ALS, so she was afraid You will also get this disease yourself.This letter is very long, two pages, three pages, four pages. Murray quietly listened to the long and tragic story, and when the letter was finally finished, he said softly: How are we going to answer the letter? Everyone was silent, and finally Robert said: Just say: How about thank you for your long letter? Everyone laughed, and Murray looked at his son and smiled happily. ◇◇◇ In the newspaper next to him was a picture of a Boston baseball player, smiling after pitching a zero game.I thought to myself, there are so many diseases in the world, and Murray has a disease named after an athlete.Remember Lou Gehrig (Editor's note)?I asked. I remember him saying goodbye to everyone at the stadium. Then you will remember that famous saying. which sentence? Please, it's Lu Geli.Yankee Lights?Don't you remember the speech that sounded through the speaker? Tell me again, let me see if I remember. There was the sound of a garbage truck outside the window.It was hot, and Murray was wearing a long-sleeved top and a blanket over his legs.The disease took Murray's own. I raised my voice, imitating Lu Ge Rui's words around the court: Today, I feel that I am the luckiest person on earth. Murray closed his eyes and nodded slowly. Well said.However, I didn't say that. Editor's note Lou Gehrig's full name is Henry.Louis.Henry Louis Gehrig (1903︱1941) was the first baseman and best hitter of the New York Yankees baseball team.He played 2,130 consecutive games, had a lifetime batting average of 341, and hit 492 home runs.Lu Gerui is handsome, humble and deeply loved by fans.He developed symptoms of ALS at the age of thirty-four, knew he would not live long, but was strong.He formally bid farewell to fans at his final game and died three years later.To commemorate this outstanding player, the United States will call ALS Luge Rui's disease.