Chapter 36 good marriage

I can't say much about the Archmage's wife.I should talk about her. According to Jewish legend, forty days before each baby boy is born, a voice from heaven will announce the name of his future wife.If so, the name reported to Obert in 1917 must have been Sarah.Their marriage was long-lasting and loving. They met at an interview in the Brighton Beach area where he was the headteacher and she was looking for a job as an English teacher.They disagreed on several things, and she left thinking: This job is gone; but he hired her and admired her.Months later, he finally invited her into his office.

Do you have a boyfriend?he asked. No.she replied. That's fine, please keep it that way.Because I am going to propose to you. She hides her smile. Is there anything else?she said. there is none left.he replied. That's good.So she left. It took several months before he made the next move.He was too shy to know what to do, but finally took action.They start dating.He took her to restaurants, took her to Coney Island.The first time he tried to kiss her, he hiccupped. Two years later, they were married. Living together for more than 60 years, Obert and Sarah raised four children, buried one of them, danced at their children's weddings, died for each other's parents, welcomed seven grandchildren, and only changed three houses ; they have always supported each other, debated with each other, cherished and cherished each other.They also argued and didn't even talk, but at night the child would see them sitting by the bed holding hands through the crack of the door.

They are a natural team.Sometimes the archmage would suddenly tease her while standing on the podium and say: Excuse me, miss, can you tell us your name?Her way of fighting back was to tell everyone: I married my husband for thirty happy years and I will never forget our wedding day, November 3, 1944. Wait a minute, some people will say, start mental calculation: that is not only thirty years, but much more. That's right.She said: "It's nice to have twenty minutes on Monday, and an hour on Tuesday."Added up, a total of thirty pleasant years. Everyone laughed, and her husband smiled too.The Archmage once mentioned in a piece of advice to new clergymen: find a good partner.

He found his. Just as agricultural knowledge grows through harvest after harvest, years of marriage give the Archmage acquaintance with how marriage works and why it fails.He has performed nearly a thousand weddings, ranging from the most austere to the embarrassingly extravagant.Many couples stay together for a long time, but there are also many couples who break up. Can you predict which marriages will last?I asked. Sometimes it can.He said: "If they communicate well, the chances are great.If they have similar religious beliefs, similar values, they are likely to succeed. As for love?

There must be love.But love changes. how do I say this? Love is the kind of infatuation. He is so handsome and she is so beautiful. One day, he will wither.One mistake and that love flies away. True love, on the other hand, will keep filling.It gets stronger when tested.Like Fiddler on the Roof.Do you remember?The actor Te Wei in the play sang a song <Do you hate me? >? I should have expected this development. The drama of "Fiddler on the Roof" is quite consistent with the Archmage's worldview.Religion, tradition, community, and husband and wife Trevey and Goldie. Their love is proved by actions, not by words.

The wife said: How can you ask me if I love you?Look how much I've done for you.Is there another reason? The kind of love that you realize you have from the life you have created together is the kind of love that lasts forever. The Archmage was lucky to have such a love with Sarah.This kind of love can withstand hardships, but it also requires cooperation and cannot be selfish.The Archmage is fond of telling young couples: Remember, the only difference between a marriage and a military is where you put the letter i. Sometimes he would tell a joke about a man who complained to the doctor and whose wife turned into a historical one when she lost her temper.

You mean hysterical.said the doctor. No, historians.The man said: She listed everything I did wrong in the past, like a historian! Still, the Archmage knew that the institution of marriage was in jeopardy.He presides over couples, watches them break up, and then presides over them again when they marry someone else. I think people nowadays expect too much from marriage.He said: "They expect perfection.Be happy every minute.That's how TV or movies are made, but not the human experience. Like Sarah said, twenty minutes here, forty minutes there, the pieces put together make a good marriage.The point is, when things aren't going so well, you don't want to throw the whole thing in the trash.Quarreling is not a problem, and the other half is a little nagging and annoying, but it's no big deal.Living intimately with another human being is inevitable.

But the joy you get from that intimacy watching the kids, waking up and smiling at each other Our traditions teach us that this is happiness.The average person often forgets this. Why would they forget? Because the word commitment has lost its meaning.I'm old enough to remember when it used to be a word with only positive meanings.People who keep their promises are admirable.He possesses such virtues as fidelity and stability.Now everyone avoids promises, and no one wants to be tied up. By the way, faith is facing the same problem.We don't want to be bound, we have to go to worship every time and obey the precepts.We are unwilling to make promises to God.We accept him only when he is needed or when things are going well.But true commitment requires perseverance regardless of faith or marriage.

What if you refuse to promise?I asked. You can choose that.But you'll miss something on the other side. What's on the other side? ah.He smiled.On the other side there is happiness that you cannot find by yourself. After a while Sarah came into the room in her coat.Like her husband, she was in her eighties, with thick gray hair and glasses.Her smile disarms everything. I'm going shopping, Al.she said. OK, we will miss you.He folded his hands on his stomach, and for a moment they just looked at each other and smiled. I think about their commitment, over sixty years.I thought about how dependent he was on her now.I see them sitting by the bed holding hands at night. (Happiness you can't find by yourself.)

I wanted to ask you a question.said the Archmage to his wife. what is it Hmm I already forgot. All right.She laughed: the answer is no. Or maybe not? Or maybe not. She came forward and jokingly shook his hand. That's it, nice to meet you. He laughed: My pleasure. they kiss. I don't know what happened in the forty days before birth, but at that moment, if I heard the names of these two people from the sky, I would not be surprised at all. ◇◇◇ As a child I was sure that I would never marry someone of another religion. As an adult, I did it anyway. My wife and I got married on a small island in the Caribbean.The sun is setting and the weather is warm and pleasant.Her family read passages from the Bible aloud.My sister and brother sang a funny song of congratulations.I stepped on a glass.We asked a local female judge to witness our marriage, and she blessed us with a congratulatory message made up by herself.

Although we come from different faiths, we forge solutions with love: I support her, she supports me, we attend each other's religious services, and while we just stand in silence during certain prayers, we must say Amen. However, there were still times when she would turn to Jesus for help when she was troubled; I always felt left out when I listened to her whispered prayers.Marrying someone of a different faith requires more than just the two of you. You have to mix history and tradition, communion stories and bar mitzvah photos.Although she used to say: I believe the Old Testament; we're not that different.But we just have differences. Are you mad at me for my marriage?I asked the Archmage. Why am I shouting to be angry?He said: So what if you are angry?Your wife is a good person.You are in love.I can see it. So how do you balance that with your work? Let's put it this way.If one day, you come to me and say: Guess what?She is going to convert to Judaism.I must be delighted.before that He sang: Until then, we have to get along well︱ㄤ︱ ① Coney Island is actually a peninsula. In the second half of the 19th century, many playgrounds, restaurants, and hotels were built here to provide leisure and entertainment for New Yorkers and attract many tourists. However, it has gradually declined since World War II.