foreword Who wouldn't be skeptical when someone claims to have spent an entire weekend with God in a mountain cabin?This is the story of The Cabin. We've known each other for more than twenty years, ever since the day McCann and I went to a neighbor's house to help tie hay for the cows.Since then, he and I have often hung out, as young people say nowadays, sharing a cup of coffee or a hot cup of teh tarik with soy milk.Our conversations have a profound sense of fun, always laced with lots of laughter and the occasional tear or two.Honestly, the older we get, the more we hang out.

His full name is McKinsey.Allen.Philip, though most people call him Alan.It's a family tradition: Men all have the same first name, but everyone knows their middle name, probably to avoid meaningless titles like I, II, III or Big McKenzie, McKenzie, etc.It also works well for spotting telemarketers, especially those who tend to address you with a familiar tone.So he and his grandfather, his father, and his eldest son all have the name McKenzie, but are generally referred to by their middle names.Only his wife Xiaona and close friends call him McCann. McCann was born somewhere in the Midwest, an Irish farm kid with strict rules and a belief in the value of the labor of his hands.Although his father was outwardly religious, the overly strict church elder was a known alcoholic, especially when it didn't rain, or when it rained too early, and much of the time in between.McCann seldom mentions him. Whenever he mentions it, the expression on his face will fade like a tide, leaving only dull eyes.From the few stories he told me, I know that his father is not the kind of drunk who sleeps off his worries, but a vicious and despicable alcoholic who beats his wife first and then asks God for forgiveness.

The crux of the matter happened at a youth revival meeting. Thirteen-year-old McKenzie reluctantly confessed his feelings to the pastor of the church.Moved by the pastor's call at the time, McCann confessed tearfully that he had witnessed his drunken father beat his mother unconscious on more than one occasion, but he never took any action to help her.What McCann didn't expect was that the clergy who heard his confession served in the same church as his father, so when he got home, his father was waiting for him on the front porch, and his mother and sisters were strangely absent.Afterwards he learned that they were all sent to Aunt Mei's house, so that his father could teach this rebellious son what respect meant without any scruples.For nearly two days he was tied to the big oak tree behind the house, and every time his dad woke up in a trance and put down the bottle, he would whip him with a belt while reading Bible verses.

When McCann was finally able to walk again two weeks later, he simply set off and ran away from home.But before leaving, he poisoned every wine bottle on the farm, and dug up a small tin box from the shed outside that contained all his treasures: a family photo everyone died from looking straight into the sun Squinting (his dad stood aside and didn't join in), a 1950 Luke.Easter (Annotation: Luke Easter (1915︱1979), a well-known Major League Baseball player.) rookie baseball card, a small bottle containing about an ounce of my mark (the only perfume his mother has ever worn), a A ball of yarn and two needles, a small silver-alloy USAF F︱86 jet, and his life savings of fifteen dollars and thirteen cents.He sneaked back to the house, and when his father was lying drunk and snoring loudly, he stuffed a note under his mother's pillow, which said: I hope you can forgive me one day.He vowed never to look back, and he did, only for a while.

Thirteen was hardly an adult at all, but McCann had few options and adapted quickly.He didn't say much about the years that followed.He spent most of that time overseas, working all over the world, sending money to his grandparents who passed it on to his mother.In some distant country, I think he even took a gun in some horrible conflict.For as long as I've known him, he has hated war terribly.Whatever happened, in his twenties he finally landed at a seminary in Australia.After taking enough theology and philosophy classes, McCann returned to the United States, reconciled with his mother and sisters, and then moved to Oregon, where he met and married Nanette.Samuelson.

In a world full of saliva, McCann is a person who actually uses his brains and hands.He doesn't talk much unless you ask him directly, which is something most people know to avoid.When he does talk, you wonder if he's an alien, because his view of human thought and experience is different from everyone else's. The problem is, his reasoning is often uncomfortable, because most people in this world would rather just listen to their own rhetoric, and those rhetoric are usually lackluster.People who knew him generally liked him, as long as he didn't express himself.And when he did talk, they wouldn't stop liking him either, it's just that they'd all be less happy with themselves.

McCann once told me that when he was young, he was more free to express his feelings, but he admitted that this kind of talk is mostly a survival mechanism to mask pain, and often ends up taking out his own pain on those around him.He said he had a way of pointing out and humiliating others' mistakes while maintaining his own false sense of power and control.Doesn't sound like much fun. At this point in my writing, I reflect that the McCann I have always known is quite ordinary, definitely not obviously special people, unless people who really know him will think so.He would be fifty-six, and rather unremarkable, a chubby, balding, short white guy, words that could describe a lot of men.You probably wouldn't notice him in a crowd, and you probably wouldn't be surprised to sit next to him as he napped on the subway on his weekly business meeting into town.He does most of his work from his small office at home on Wildcat Road, selling high-tech components that I can't pretend to understand: just gadgets that make everything go faster, as if everything in life wasn't fast enough .

You wouldn't appreciate how smart McCann was until you happened to overhear a conversation he might be having with an expert.I've heard him speak a language that suddenly didn't sound like English, and I found myself struggling to understand the concepts pouring out like a river of gems.He has something to say about almost anything, and even when you feel like he has a strong belief in something, he just has a gentle way of letting you keep your belief at the same time. His favorite topics are about God and creation, and why people believe what they do.His eyes will light up, the corners of his mouth will rise, and he will show a smile, and suddenly, like a child, his fatigue will melt away, and he will become young and immortal, and he will be so excited that he can hardly restrain himself.But at the same time, McCann is not very religious. He seems to have a love-hate relationship with religion, and even a melancholy, distant, and indifferent relationship with the God he doubts.Little cynicism occasionally leaked from the cracks of self-control, like sharp poisoned arrows from the deep well of his heart.You could tell he wasn't very comfortable there, although we sometimes both showed up on Sundays at the local traditional church (St. John the Baptist Fifty-fifth Independent House, as we like to call it).

McCann and Xiaona have been married for more than 33 years and are living a very happy life.He said Xiaona saved his life and paid a precious price for it.For some inexplicable reason, she seems to love him more now than ever, even though I feel like he hurt her badly in the early years.I figured that since most of our hurt comes from relationships, so too will healing come from relationships, and I also know that God's grace is rarely justified to outsiders. In any case, McCann married someone with better conditions than himself.Cortana is the glue that keeps the family emotional.Where McCann struggles in a world of vast gray areas, hers is mostly black and white.Cortana has a lot of common sense so naturally, she doesn't even consider it a gift.She gave up her dream of becoming a doctor to support her family, but as a nurse, she has already excelled and received a lot of admiration for her chosen job of caring for terminally ill cancer patients.McCann's relationship with God is broad, while Xiaona's is deep.

The eccentric couple had five exceptionally beautiful children.McCann likes to say that they inherited their good looks from him: because Cortana's beauty is still undiminished.Two of the three boys had left home: Qiang, a newlywed, took a job at a local company, and Taylor, who had just graduated from college, was away studying for a master's degree.Josh and his sister Kathleen (Kate) still live at home and attend the local community college.Then there's belated baby Melissa, whom we like to call Missy.Well, you'll get to know a few of them better in the pages that follow. What should I say about the past few years?It should be unique.McCann has changed, he is now more different and special than before.For as long as I've known him, he's always been a pretty gentle and kind person, but since he was hospitalized three years ago, he's become, uh, kinder.He had become one of those rather rare people who are completely at ease with themselves.I also felt more at ease around him than I could around anyone.Every time we part ways, I always have the feeling that I just had the best conversation of my life, even though it's usually me talking.Regarding God, McCann's understanding is no longer just broad, but extremely deep.But he paid a heavy price for this inquiry.

The situation now is completely different from the situation seven years ago, when the great grief entered his life, he was almost silent at all.About that time, and for nearly two years, we stopped hanging out together, as if we had an unspoken agreement with each other.I saw McCann only occasionally at the local grocery store, and even less often at church.Although we usually exchange a polite hug, we don't say much after that.He had trouble even looking me in the eye, maybe he didn't want to have a conversation that might tear his wounded heart apart. But everything changed after a serious accident, which was Here With Me Again, and almost sneaked away again.All of these will be mentioned in due course.Suffice it to say that in recent years McCann seems to have regained his life and the burden of great grief.What happened three years ago completely changed the song of his life and I can't wait to play it for you. Although McCann's oral skills are quite good, he is not sure about his writing skills.Knowing that I had a passion for writing, he asked me if I would take the knife and write this story for the children and Cortana.He wanted to use a story to help him express his deep love to them, and to help them understand what was going on in his inner world.You know the place: you're alone there, and if you believe in God, He's probably there.Of course, even if you don't believe in God, He probably still exists.That's like his style.He is not called the Master Nosy for nothing. What you are about to read is what McCann and I have been working on for months to put into words.It's kind of, uh no, very fantastical.Whether some of it is true or not, I will not judge, only to say that some things may not be scientifically proven, but may still be true.I’ll be honest with you, being a part of this story has affected me so much deep down in a place inside that I’ve never touched or even known existed.Frankly, I wish everything McCann told me was true.Most of the time, I would stay in that world with him, but sometimes when the visible world and the computer seemed to be the real world, I would lose contact with him and that world, and I would have doubts. A couple of irresponsible disclaimers at the end: McCann wants you to know that if you happen to come across this story and find it hard to like, then he's saying: sorry but this wasn't meant for you in the first place.But then again, maybe this is for you.What you are about to read is what McCann did his best to remember.It's his story, not mine, so I showed up a few times, describing myself in the third person and it was McCann's point of view. Memories are sometimes tricky companions, especially memories of the unexpected.While we strive for accuracy, I wouldn't be too surprised if some errors and false reminiscences reflect on the pages that do not correspond to the facts.None of that was intentional.I can assure you that the dialogues and events in the book are recorded as they are in McCann's memory, so please hold your hand a little higher, because you will find that these are not easy things to talk about with others. willie