Chapter 17 sad morning

The infinite God can give Himself to each of His children.He does not distribute Himself so that each child will have a share, but He gives Himself completely to each one, as if there was only one child in the world. Tao Shu (Annotation: A. W. Tozer (1897︱1963), American pastor and writer, representative as "The Pursuit of God".) McCann seemed to have just fallen into a deep sleep when he felt a hand shaking him awake. McCann, get up.We should go.The voice sounded familiar, but it was relatively low, as if he had just woken up. ah?He groaned.what time is it now?He muttered to himself, trying to figure out where he was and what he was doing.

time to go!The reply was soft. Although he didn't think that sentence answered his question, he still crawled out of the bed, grumbled and fumbled, and finally found the lamp switch and turned it on.In the dark, the lights were harsh, and it took him a while to barely open one eye, squinting up at the early-morning visitor. The man standing next to him looked a little like Papa, imposing, older, stocky, and taller than McCann.With his silvery hair tied back in a ponytail and a graying mustache and goatee, he wears a checkered shirt with rolled-up sleeves, jeans, hiking boots, and all his hiking-ready gear.Dad?McCann asked.

It's me, son. McCann shook his head.You're still messing with me, aren't you? I always do.He said with a warm smile, and answered McCann's question before he could ask.You need a father this morning.Come on, it's time for us to go.I put everything you need on the table and chairs at the end of the bed.I'll meet you in the kitchen so you can get something to eat before we head out. McCann nodded.He didn't bother to ask where they were going. If his father wanted him to know, he would have told him.He quickly put on a well-fitting suit similar to that worn by his father, put on hiking boots, and after a quick wash in the bathroom, he went into the kitchen.

Jesus and Dad stood by the bar, looking much more energetic than McCann.When he was about to open his mouth, Sha Ruiyu came in from the back door with a large cylindrical bag, which looked like an elongated sleeping bag, tied tightly with a thread hooked on both sides for easy carrying.She handed it to McCann, and immediately he smelled a wonderful combination of fragrances wafting from the bag.It was a mixture of fragrant herbs and flowers he thought he recognized, and he smelled cinnamon and mint, and salt and fruit. This is a gift, I will open it later.Dad will teach you how to use it.She smiled and hugged him, or that was the only way he could describe it.She is just so indescribable.

You can carry it on your back, Dad added.Those were picked by you and Sha Ruiyu yesterday. My gift will be here waiting for your return.Jesus smiled and hugged McCann too, only with him did it really feel like a hug. The two left by the back door, leaving McCann alone with Pop, who was busy scrambling two eggs and frying two strips of bacon. Daddy, Macon asked, surprised how easy it was to call him Daddy.don't you eat? McKinsey, there is no such thing as a ceremony.You need this, I don't.he smiled.Also, don't gobble it up.We have a lot of time, and eating too fast is not good for your digestion.

McCann ate slowly, simply enjoying Dad's presence in relative silence. At one point Jesus poked his head into the dining room to inform Dad that the tools they needed were by the door.Papa thanked Jesus, Jesus kissed him on the mouth, and left through the back door. McCann asked while helping to clean the dishes: You really love him, don't you?I mean Jesus. I know who you're talking about.Dad answered with a smile.He pauses in the middle of washing the pans.I love him with all my heart!I think there is something very special about an only child.Uncle winked at McCann and went on: That's part of what I know about him.

They did the dishes and McCann followed Dad out.The dawn has gradually pierced through the mountain top, and the gray night that is about to escape has begun to be stained with the color of the early morning sunrise.McCann carried Sha Ruiyu's gift on his shoulders.Dad handed him a small pick placed by the door, and lifted a backpack to carry on his back.Holding the shovel in one hand and the cane in the other, he walked in silence through the gardens and orchards, walking roughly to the right of the lake. By the time they reached the start of the trail, there was enough light for them to find their way.Here, Uncle pointed his stick at a tree next to the path, and Macken could just make out a little red arch mark someone had made on the tree.That meant nothing to McCann, and Pop wouldn't explain it, but turned and walked down the path, keeping his pace.

Sha Ruiyu's gift was light for its size, and McCann used the handle of a pickaxe as a walking stick.The trail took them across a creek and deep into the forest.McCann thanked his hiking boots for waterproofing when he slipped off a rock and fell ankle-deep in water when he took a wrong step.As he walked, he could still hear Dad humming a tune, but he didn't know what it was. As they hiked, McCann thought about the many things he had experienced in the previous two days.Conversations with the three of them individually or together, time spent with Sophia, prayer ceremonies in which he himself participated, watching the night sky with Jesus, walking across the lake.Then last night's festivities ended with a high point, including a reconciliation with my father that was few words but great healing.It's really hard to absorb it all.

When McCann thought through the whole thing and reflected on what he had learned, he realized that he still had many questions.Maybe he'll get a chance to ask some of those questions, but he doesn't feel like this is the time.All he knows is that he's not who he used to be anymore, and he wonders what these changes mean for him, Cortana, and the kids, especially Kate. But there was one more thing he wanted to ask, and it kept tormenting him as they walked.Finally, he broke the silence. Dad? What's the matter, son? Sophia helped me understand a lot about Missy yesterday, and Dad, uh, I mean, talking to you was really helpful too.McCann was puzzled, but Dad stopped and smiled at him as if he knew it, so McCann continued: But I still need to talk to you, is that weird?I mean, you're more of a daddy dad, hopefully that makes sense.

I get it, McKinsey.We're coming back to square one.Forgiving your dad yesterday was an important part of getting to know me as a dad today.You don't have to explain further.Somehow, McCann knew that their long journey was drawing to a close, and that Pop was helping him with the last few steps. You know, creative freedom cannot be free.Dad looked down, and the scars were clearly visible and indelible on his wrists.I know my creation will rebel, choose independence and die, and I know what it will cost to open the way to reconciliation.Your independence has unleashed a world that seems chaotic to you, random and scary.Could I have stopped what happened to Miss?The answer is yes.

McCann looked up at Dad and could see in his eyes the question he wanted to ask without having to say it.Pop continued: First of all, these questions don't mean much if you don't create at all.Or secondly, I could choose to proactively intervene in her situation.The first hypothesis is completely out of consideration, and the latter is also not an option for purposes beyond your present knowledge.At this time, the only answers I can give you are my love and kindness, and my relationship with you.I didn't intend for Missy to die, but that doesn't mean I can't use it for good. McCann shook his head sadly.you're right.I don't quite get it.I thought I saw a glimmer of light for a split second, and then all the longing and loss I felt seemed to rush in and tell me that what I thought I saw couldn't be real.But I do believe you suddenly, it's like a new idea, surprising and wonderful.Dad, I do believe in you! Dad also responded with a bright smile.I know, son, I know. Saying that, the old man turned around and began to walk back to the trail, followed by McCann, his heart became lighter and more stable.Soon they began a rather easy climb, and the pace slowed down.Every now and then Pop would stop and pat a boulder or a tree by the side of the road, each time pointing to the little red arch that appeared above it.Before McCann could ask the obvious question, Pop turned and continued up the walk. The woods began to thin out, and McCann caught a glimpse of shale fields, landforms where parts of the forest had been lost by landslides before the trail was laid.They rested again, and McCann drank some cold water that Dad had put in the jug before he set off. Soon after they rested, the path became steeper and their pace became slower.McCann guessed they had walked nearly two hours before they crossed the tree line.He could see the trail winding against the side of the mountain ahead, but first they had to cross a large rock and pebbles. Pa stopped again to put down the bag and reach in for water. We're almost there, boy.He declared, handing the jug to McCann. Yeah?McCann asked, looking again at the lonely and desolate rocky land ahead. Yes!That's all Dad said, and McCann wasn't sure if he should ask where he was going. Pop picked a small boulder near the trail, put the bag and shovel beside it, and sat down.He seemed a little disturbed.I'm going to show you something that will be very painful for you. OK?McCann put down the bag, threw Sha Ruiyu's gift on his lap and sat down, his stomach started to churn too.The fragrance became more and more intense under the morning light, filling his senses with that kind of beauty and bringing a considerable degree of peace.what? To help you understand, I'm going to take away one more thing that darkens your heart. McCann knew right away what it was, and he turned his head away from his dad, and began to stare at the ground between his feet. Dad gently reassures, Son, this is not to make you feel ashamed.I do not do anything that humiliates, sins, or condemns.Those things don't produce an iota of wholeness or righteousness, so they've been crucified with Jesus. He waited, letting that thought seep through and wash away some of McCann's shame before continuing: We're on the healing walk today to close this part of your journey not just for you, but for other people.Today we drop a big rock into a lake, and those ripples will reach places you wouldn't expect.You already know what I want, right? I'm afraid it is.McCann grunted, feeling the emotions rushing out of his locked atrium. Son, you need to express, to speak out. There was nothing McCann could hide now, tears welled down his cheeks, and he began to confess through sobs.Daddy, he wailed, how could I ever forgive that bastard who killed my Missy!If he were here today, I don't know what I would have done.I know that's not right, but I want him to be hurt, just like he hurt me. If I don't get justice, I still want revenge. Pop just let McCann spit it out and waited for the waves to pass. For you, McCann, to forgive this man is to release him to me so that I can redeem him. Redeem him?McCann felt the anger and pain again.I don't want you to redeem him!I want you to hurt him, punish him, send him to hell His voice is fading. Pop waited patiently for his emotions to subside. I'm stuck, dad.I just can't forget what he did, can I?McCann pleaded. Forgiveness is not forgetting, McCann.To forgive is to stop holding another person by the neck. But I thought you forgot our sins? McCann, I am God.I don't forget a thing, I know everything, so forgetting for me is choosing to limit myself.Son, Dad's voice trailed off, and McCann looked up at him, into his dark brown eyes.Because of Jesus, there is no law requiring me to remember your sins today.When it comes to me and you, sin is gone and is no hindrance in our relationship. but this person But he is also my son, and I want to redeem him. Then what?I just have to forgive him and everything will be fine and we become buddies?McCann said gently but sarcastically. You have nothing to do with this person, at least not yet.Forgiveness does not build a relationship.In Jesus, I have forgiven all humanity for their sins against me, but only some choose to be in relationship.McKinsey, don't you see the incredible power of forgiveness?It is the strength you share with us, the strength that Jesus gives to all who let Him live in it, so that reconciliation can grow.When Jesus forgave those who crucified him, they owed him no more, and they owed me no more.In my relationship with those people, I would never bring up their past actions, shame them, or embarrass them. I don't think I can do it.McCann said softly. I want you to do it.Forgiveness is first and foremost about releasing you, the one who forgives, Pop replied, from situations that eat you alive, destroy your joy and your ability to fully open your heart to love.Do you think this person cares about the pain and suffering you go through?If anything, he lived by knowing that other people would suffer and suffer.Don't you want to cut off those thoughts?By forgiving, you can release him from carrying the burden, whether he knows it or admits it.When you choose to forgive another person, you are loving him. I don't love him. Not today, you don't have to love him.But I love him, McCann, not for what he's become, but for the broken kid who's been warped by pain for so long.I want to help you express that nature so that you can find greater power than hate in love and forgiveness. So, that means, again, McCann is kind of mad at where the conversation is going, if I forgive this guy, can I let him play with Kate or my eldest granddaughter? McKenzie, Dad's tone was tough and determined.I have already told you that forgiveness does not create relationship.Trusting relationships cannot be built unless people tell the truth about what they do and change their thinking and behavior.When you forgive someone, you are bound to release them from judgment, but without real change, no real relationship is possible. So forgiveness doesn't require me to pretend he didn't do that? how can you pretendYou forgave your dad last night, but are you going to forget what he did to you? I don't think so. But now you can love him for what he's done, it's his change that made it happen.Forgiveness never requires you to trust the person you are forgiving, but should they finally confess and repent, you will find miracles within yourself that will make you willing to reach out and begin to build bridges of reconciliation between you.Sometimes this may be incomprehensible to you now!That path may lead you to the miracle of total restoration of trust. McCann slid to the ground and leaned back against the rock he had been sitting on.He studies the dust between his feet.Dad, I think I understand what you're saying.But I feel like if I forgive the guy, he's acquitted.How am I going to find an excuse for what he did?Is it fair to Miss if I don't continue to be mad at him? McKinsey, forgiveness does not exonerate anything.Believe me, the last thing this man is going to do is go free.You no longer have the responsibility to uphold justice in this matter.I'll take care of that.As for Missy, she had forgiven him. Yeah?McCann didn't even look up.How can she forgive? Because I am in her.That is the only way true forgiveness is possible. McCann felt his dad sitting on the ground beside him, but he still didn't look up.When Dad put his arms around McCann, he burst into tears.Let it all out.He heard Dad whispering that he was finally able to do that.He closed his eyes and let the tears well up.Missy and her memories came flooding back: coloring books, crayons, images of torn bloody dresses.He wept and wept until he cried out all the darkness, all the longing and all the loss until there was nothing left. Now with his eyes closed, he rocked back and forth and begged, Help me, Dad.help me!what do I do?How can I forgive him? tell him. McCann looked up, half expecting to see someone he had never met standing there, but no one appeared. How to tell him? Just say it out loud.There is power in the declaration of my child. McCann stammered in a low voice at first, but grew more and more confident.I forgive you.I forgive you.I forgive you. Dad hugged him tightly.McKinsey, you are such a comfort to me. When McCann finally calmed down, Pop handed him a wet handkerchief to wipe his face.Then he stood up, unsteady at first. Wow!He spoke hoarsely, trying to find words to describe the emotional journey he had just trudged through.Feeling animated, he handed the handkerchief back to Dad and asked: So is it okay if I still feel angry? Dad was quick to respond.certainly!What he did was horrific, and he caused pain in the spine of many.That's wrong, and anger is the right response to that blunder.But don't let the anger, pain, and loss you feel stop you from forgiving him and taking your hand off his neck. Dad grabbed the bag and carried it on his back.Son, the first two days you may have to proclaim your forgiveness a hundred times, but on the third day and every day after that, the number will decrease until one day you will find that you have completely forgiven him.Then one day you will pray for his wholeness and give him to me so that my love will burn out every sign of corruption in his life.As incomprehensible as it may sound at the moment, one day you will know this person in a different setting.McCann groaned.Even though his stomach churns at what Dad said, his heart knows it's true.They rose together, and McCann turned and walked down the walk, back the way they had come. McCann, our business is not over yet.he declared. McCann stopped and turned.Really?I thought that was why you brought me here. Yes, but I also told you that I have something to show you, something you asked me to give you.We're here to take Missy home. Suddenly, everything made sense.Looking at Sha Ruiyu's gift, he suddenly understood its purpose.In the midst of this desolate landscape, the murderer buried Missy's body somewhere and they had come to retrieve her. Thanks.That's all he could say to Dad, and the waterfall ran down his cheeks again, like a never-ending reservoir.I hate all this crying like an idiot, these tears.he whimpered. Oh, boy, said Dad softly.Never underestimate the power of tears, your tears can be healing water and a source of joy.Sometimes the best words the heart can say are tears. McCann turned back to his original place and looked at his father directly.Never before had he gazed upon such pure kindness, love, hope, and living joy.But you promised that one day there will be no more tears in the world, and I look forward to that day. Dad smiled, reached out and touched McCann's face with the back of his hand, and wiped his tear-stained cheek very gently.McKinsey, the world is full of tears, but if you remember, my promise is, I will wipe your tears away. McCann forced a smile as his soul continued to melt and heal in the Father's love. Here, Dad said, handing him the kettle.Take a good sip.I don't want you to turn into shriveled green beans before it's all over. McCann couldn't help laughing, it seemed so inappropriate, but on second thought, he knew it was perfect.That laughter is the end of the process of hope and renewed joy. Dad leads the way.Before leaving the main trail and following the path to a straggling pile of boulders, Pop paused and tapped a boulder with his cane.He looked back at McCann, gestured for him to take a closer look.Here we go again, the same red arc.Now McCann understood that the trails they had come along had been marked by the man who had taken her daughter.As they walked, Dad began to explain to McCann that the reason why no body was found was that the man scouted out where the body was hidden, sometimes months before he kidnapped the little girl. location. After walking half a boulder field, Dad left the trail and entered a labyrinth of rocks and mountains, and immediately pointed out a mark he was already familiar with on the front of a nearby rock.McCann could see that the marks were easy to miss unless someone knew what they were looking for.Ten minutes later, Dad stopped in front of a crevice where two outcropping rocks met. At the bottom was a small pile of boulders, one of which was engraved with the killer's symbol. Move these out of the way for me, he said to McCann, removing the larger rocks.These stones cover the entrance to the cave. After removing the sheltered rocks, they picked up and shoveled away the hard soil and gravel that blocked the entrance.Suddenly, the remaining debris collapsed, and a passage came into view, leading to a small cave that might have been a hibernating cave for some animal.The stench of putrefaction hit him, making McCann sick.The old man reached into the bottom of the cylinder that Sha Ruiyu had given to McCann, pulled out a piece of linen the size of a large handkerchief, and tied it around McCann's mouth and nose. The sweet breath immediately cut off the stench of the cave. There's just enough room for them to crawl through.The old man took out a powerful flashlight from his bag and managed to get into the cave first. McCann followed closely behind, still carrying the gift of Sha Ruiyu. Within a few minutes, they found the treasure, which was full of joy and sorrow.On a small outcropping of rock, McCann saw the body and decided it was his Missy.Her face was up, and her body was covered with a filthy, rotting cloth, like an old glove with no hands to put it on.McCann knew the real Missy wasn't there. The old man opened the things Sha Ruiyu had given them, and the cave was immediately filled with a wonderful and tangy aroma.Even though the cloth under Missy was flimsy, it was enough for Macon to pick her up and place her among all the flowers and spices.Then Dad wrapped her up tenderly and carried her to the entrance.McCann went out first, and Dad handed him their treasure.When Pop came out, he stood up and slung the bag over his shoulders.No one spoke during the process, only McCann murmured from time to time: I forgive you, I forgive you Before they left the place, Pop picked up the stones carved with red arcs and covered the entrance.McCann noticed this move, but didn't pay much attention to it. He was just busy processing his thoughts, holding his daughter's body tenderly, close to his heart.