Chapter 31 Chapter 31 Sunset Forbidden City

The so-called marriage between Yin'er and Chashuizhang has been seven years, plus the days when she worked as an errand in Chuxiu Palace and Jingren Palace, she has stayed in the palace for a full twelve years.Although the world outside has undergone tremendous changes, the revolutionary party is getting more and more violent, and the governors of the provinces are increasingly ignoring the court, but to her, everything is the same.She and Cha Shuizhang still lived in the No. 3 North House, Li Lianying was still the head of the inner court, Lafayette was still in charge, the emperor still lived in Yingtai, and Rong Qing had never been heard from.Back then, Chashui Zhang said that the rain had passed and the sky had cleared up, but it never happened.

As a young woman, when she experienced that night of thrilling love with Rong Qing, her awakened desire for love has been entangled with her like a nightmare.After the death of the child you gave birth to, she gradually calmed down under the comfort of Cha Shui Zhang, and lived an ordinary life in the bungalow in Beisan, and this desire became more intense.Whether it's a real couple or a fake one, no matter how you say it, the other party finally looks like a man.Day after day, year after year, the two were often together. Although they didn't share the same bed at night (Cha Shui Zhang slept on another small bamboo bed), they shared the same room.This honest fake man always evokes her yearning for Rong Qing from time to time, and stimulates the instinctive desire of women deep in her heart.

Sometimes, this kind of desire burns in her blood like a fire, knowing that he is a fake man, knowing that he married her to save her, but there is still an indescribable hatred in her heart!She hated him for not being a real man, and she hated herself even more for being worthless.She repeatedly reminded herself not to think about it, but she couldn't bear to think about it, and she was so anxious that she couldn't control herself.She lost her temper with him inexplicably, threw things, which made him at a loss, and then she lay on his shoulder and cried bitterly, saying that she was not good, she was sorry for him, and begged him to forgive her.

He is a eunuch, and he has long lost his male blood and passion.At first, he didn't understand what offended her, so he could only smile around her and coax her around her until she slowly calmed down.Later, if he realized something, after all, he was eighteen years old when he entered the palace, and he understood what was going on between men and women, plus his natural intelligence, he vaguely felt that she really wanted Rongqing too much but couldn't get it. have no choice. One night late at night, Yin'er was half asleep and half awake, and suddenly felt that someone was pressing on her. This was a strong man, like Rong Qing but not exactly like him, she struggled instinctively to scream.The man covered her mouth with his hand and said he was Rong Qing. Her eyes widened, and she couldn't see clearly in the dark room.Before she could recover, the man had already torn off her underwear and crawled on top of her naked.Clinging to the other's sweaty body, listening to him panting heavily, she trembled with excitement, and a scorching heat gushed out from between her legs.At the moment when that thing was about to happen, she suddenly felt something was wrong, he was not Rong Qing.So, she struggled instinctively and pushed the man away with a loud cry.

Yiner!Yiner!You wake up, wake up what happened! Cha Shui Zhang hurriedly got up from the small bamboo bed, lit the oil lamp, and stood at the head of the bed sweating profusely. He couldn't believe his eyes. Yin'er lifted the quilt and lay naked on the bed with only a pair of shorts on. His shoulders were left with traces of fingernail scratches.He called her, she ignored him.He wanted to reach out to touch her, but as soon as he stretched out and then retracted, she suddenly felt a convulsion all over her body, she stretched out her hand to hug the pillow and whimpered inexplicably, her body was tightly curled up like a boiled prawn, her two snow-white thighs stretched out Constantly twitching.

He didn't know what had happened, and he was circling around the bed in fright.Finally he thought of what to do, he gently pulled up the quilt, covered her carefully, and said, Yin'er, it's okay, it's okay, before he finished speaking, Yin'er suddenly came from A moan of tearing silk and satin came out of his throat, and he reached out and pulled the quilt off his body.Instinctively, he took a step back and called her in a low voice.When he noticed that she was staring at him with her mouth half open, as if she wanted to say something to him, he walked over again and persuaded her in a low voice, asking her to cover her with the quilt, otherwise she would catch a cold, but she didn't seem to hear what did he say.Or she didn't want to hear it at all, she sat up with her upper body propped up on her hands, and stared at him resentfully.

Facing her naked upper body, especially the two pink areolas on her snow-white breasts, he was so nervous that he couldn't breathe.Although he was no longer a man, it was the first time in his life that he faced a woman's body, and a sense of guilt suddenly surged in his heart. He felt sorry for her, and also for Rong Qing.Thinking of this, he hurriedly avoided her gaze, and blew out the oil lamp in his hand. In the dark, he heard her say it was cold.Facing the darkness, he suddenly became more courageous. He immediately put down the oil lamp, climbed onto the bed, and pulled up the quilt again to cover her.Suddenly, she threw herself into his arms, sobbing softly, and hugged me.He heard her pleading voice in his ear, he was so frightened that he didn't know what to do, he hesitated for a while, and finally hugged her.He hugged her so lightly, like hugging a cloud of green smoke, fluttering and flickering, as if she would float away as soon as he let go.

Why?Why can't you hold on tighter?She screamed in her heart, trembling all over.The scene in the dream still floated before her eyes, and her soul still trembled with the passion in the hallucination.She didn't expect him to do that kind of thing with her, and even if he could, she wouldn't beg him so.She just wanted him to act like a man, hug her, hold her tighter, and warm her heart with his body.And he can't even do this!Doesn't he understand that the bloodstains she scratched on the flesh with her nails are not actually the pain of the flesh, the pain is in her heart, she can't grasp it or reach it.This is a kind of helpless pain, she doesn't understand, why can't a good person like him, a kind person who knows how to be considerate of others, not understand?She was a woman, a young woman of twenty-eight, who had seen it only once in twelve years.Only once, that unforgettable love made her ecstasy, and she will never forget it forever. She longed for a thousand times again!

She hates, this is an indescribable hatred, there is no specific object, and no specific object can be found, it is both empty and real.Whether it's a real couple or a fake man, it doesn't matter anymore.The important thing is that he is a person, a good man who has saved her time and time again and helped Rong Qing time and time again.Long story short, get along day and night, he is so kind to her.She couldn't hate him, she could only hate herself.In fact, one cannot hate oneself, so she can only lose her temper for no reason, cry for no reason, and hate everything around her for no reason.

This gratuitous hatred finally turned into gratuitous behavior.She let out a long howl, and with all her strength, she bent her legs and kicked the tea chapter off the bed.There was a muffled sound in the darkness.He rolled off the bed and fell to the ground on his back.He lay there, not knowing what had happened, only feeling a buzzing in his head.In the darkness, he heard Yin'er's soft cry.This thin cry penetrated into his heart, scraping the tip of his heart like the tip of a knife.After a long time, he propped up his upper body with his hands, and kept saying that he was not good, but he didn't expect her to cry even more fiercely.He blinked, and suddenly understood what was going on, sat on the ground, slapped himself vigorously, and scolded himself for not being human.

Yin'er put on her coat and got off the kang bed, walked to him, hugged him to prevent him from slapping herself, and after a long time, she asked softly where he fell?He shook his head.She rubbed his lower back for him and patted his back.He suddenly reached out and grabbed her hand, pressing that little hand tightly to his face.She felt a damp coolness on his wrinkled face.These were his tears, and there was a burst of sadness in her heart, she pressed her face against his eye sockets, and wiped away the tears on his cheeks with her face. In the darkness, the two hugged and sat on the ground.The night in the Forbidden City is extremely quiet.In addition to their breathing, there is the sound of heartbeat.Later, even this small sound disappeared.The quiet darkness is like an elegy, surrounding the two of them in a silent place, singing the death of a young woman's youth, and also singing the despair of an old man whose youth has long since died. In the afternoon, Yin'er was sent to her bedroom by Cixi. In this fortified palace, both Lafayette and the emperor's physical condition are kept secret, except for their personal servants.Half a year ago, she heard that Lafayette was sick, very sick.It was only later that I found out that the emperor was also ill, and the illness was not serious.When she walked into this familiar yet unfamiliar dormitory, she was still secretly surprised by what she saw. Thick curtains were hung on all the windows, and the outdoor sunlight was struggling to climb on the curtains and come in through the cracks in the corners, making the room look drowsy.Perhaps because Cixi didn't want people to see her haggard appearance, she made the place so dark on purpose.She was lying there, and Yin'er could tell at a glance that she was out of shape.Her face was as white as a piece of paper, her body was as flat as a leaf, and a gust of wind could blow her away from that astonishingly large bed. She didn't expect Lafayette to be so ill, and she didn't understand why Lafayette called her here.Li Lianying led her to the bed, and whispered to Cixi, whose eyes were slightly closed: Lafayette, Yin'er is here.After a while, Cixi struggled to open her eyes and asked Li Lianying who was here.Li Lianying told her that Yin'er, who had served her before, had arrived.Only then did she realize that she was the one who asked Yin'er to come. Where is Yin'er? Lafayette, the servant is here.Yin'er knelt beside her bed. Really Yiner.She grabbed Yin'er's hand lying on the bed. It's a servant girl. Are you still alive?She asked knowingly. Thanks to Lafayette.Otherwise, the servants would have passed away long ago.She is duplicity. The crimes you committed back then were enough to cost you a few heads.Know why I don't kill you?This is her usual style, she has made you suffer, but she has to let you know why. The slaves don't know.She knew but dared not say it. you know. The slaves really don't know. You dare not say it.This is where she is so smart.She knew Yin'er didn't dare to say it, so she said it for her, I won't let you die, in order to make your life more uncomfortable than death. hate me?she asked. slave no no Do not hate, or dare not?she asked. The dying old man looked at the maid who passed by beside her, and suddenly laughed inexplicably. At this moment, she was complacent, or was she regretting her mistakes back then, or was the hatred in her heart still unabated?No one can tell.Maybe even she can't tell.She smiled and laughed, but suddenly a mouthful of phlegm was stuck in her throat, and she couldn't help coughing. Yin'er hurriedly patted her back lightly, and Li Lianying came over nervously.Cixi finally spit out a mouthful of phlegm into the spittoon held by Yin'er, and it took her a while to recover.She asked Li Lianying to help her up and put a quilt under her waist.She waved her hand, said it was all right, let Li Lianying go out, she wanted to be alone with Yin'er. It's too bad.As soon as Li Lianying left, Cixi panted and said to Yin'er, I know, I don't have a few days left No, no, no, Lafayette will live forever!Yin'er hastily interrupted her.Before that, she wished she would die early, but when she stood in front of her and saw her painful condition, her heart suddenly softened. Everyone wants to live forever, and I have never seen one who really lived to that extent.She shook her head bitterly: "It's seventy-three, it's Kan'er."The old lady has always had this ability, as long as you are with her, she can grab your heart as soon as she opens her mouth.In fact, she is not only good at eloquence, but also able to understand other people's thoughts.In addition, in her superior position, she dared to speak the truth, dared to say what others wanted to say but did not dare to say, so when the same words came out of her mouth, the weight would naturally be different. After passing this hurdle, you still have to live for more than 20 years!She looked at the old man.Involuntarily comforting each other. how do you know?Normally, she wouldn't respond to such good words that she knew were coaxing her, but right now she still couldn't help asking. The servant kicked the shuttlecock for Lafayette, remember I kicked it ninety-seven times.Didn't you say that it was ninety-seven years old.She thought of the Lafayette at that time, his tough body did not look like a man in his sixties. Cixi blinked her old eyes, her cloudy eyes fell on Yin'er's haggard face, and she didn't speak for a long time.She recalled that afternoon in late autumn, when Yin'er played shuttlecock with many people in Tihe Hall, she was only sixteen years old at that time, how young she was then. How long ago was that? At that time, the servant girl had just entered the palace, and it had been more than ten years. But no, it's been twelve years.The old man is dying of illness and still has an amazing memory. Do you still play shuttlecock now? It's been a long time since I kicked. She smiled wryly.She wanted to say that she was old too, but the words were on her lips, so she dared not say them.People often don't feel that they are old. They always inadvertently think that they are old when they find that others are old.Thinking of when she first entered the palace, she was in the midst of suffering and didn't know what it was like to be in pain. She thought of Aunt Xiuzi and Heping'er, who died one by one and scattered, even Aunt Liu, who was in charge at the time, left the royal palace. court.Thinking of this, an indescribable emotion welled up in my heart.After a long time, everything has been smoothed out, and the kindness and resentment seem to become less and less important. Cixi looked at Yin'er, and was troubled by a question that she often thought about but couldn't think smoothly: Does a person have a soul after death?She thought of the saying about ghosts, her son Tongzhi, Concubine Zhen, and the many people who died before her.If there is, she has never seen it.If you say no, there are many things that cannot be explained.After much deliberation, she still couldn't figure out why.At least one thing is, when a person dies, even if he can visit the world through his soul and know some things, he will never be able to control the affairs of the world. Thinking of this, she really couldn't swallow this breath in her heart.Because she is alive, the most important things in the world have to be approved by her, and this death is nothing.Yesterday, she formally issued an edict to make Puyi the elder brother and let him take over the throne of Guangxu.If she left, Guangxu would never listen to her.No, no, I must not die before him! She was silent for a long time, and suddenly told Yin'er that the emperor had allowed her to go out of the palace with Cha Shuizhang, and asked her to go to Yingtai to see the emperor, and thank the emperor face to face.Yin'er knelt there, and when she understood what the other person meant, a hot current surged from her heart, rushing to her eye sockets and nasal grooves, and two lines of hot tears came out of her eyes.In the past, she had been looking forward to this day in her dreams.Now that it really came, she was indescribably terrified.She seemed unable to imagine how she would survive without this royal courtyard. Guangxu was lying in Yingtai bedroom.These days, he has been lucky, hoping that he can survive Empress Dowager Cixi.Of course, he didn't know that Cixi thought the same way, and she must not die before him. The difference was that people reported to Cixi about his condition every day, but he knew almost nothing about her condition. Hearing the whistling wind blowing across the lake at the turn of autumn and winter, he felt an indescribable sadness in his heart. He knew that he didn't have much time left, and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to survive the old queen who was destined to be his nemesis.The queen, concubine Jin and other concubines wanted to see him, but he flatly refused.In his last moments on earth, he didn't want to see anyone.He wanted to face death quietly alone. When the eunuch reported to him that Yin'er was coming to see him, he unexpectedly agreed.He asked the eunuch to change a new coat for him, washed his face specially, and leaned on the kang couch, waiting for Yin'er anxiously.Right now, she is the only person he wants to see. emperor!The maidservant kowtows to thank you for coming.Yin'er kowtowed to Guangxu as soon as she entered the door.He is much better than she imagined, at least she thinks he can survive Lafayette, which is also her wish.Li Lianying came with her, because the emperor refused to see him, so he had to stay outside.His purpose of coming here is very clear, to see the emperor's condition, and report back to Cixi, so that the old lady can make a final decision. Don't kneel down, it's too cold underground.He took a look at this servant who had suffered together with Concubine Zhen, and later served him for nearly two years, and he was indescribably excited.Her appearance, in a sense, has many connections with Concubine Zhen. Listen to the emperor.She climbed up from the ground and stood there. Compared with when he was here, everything in the dormitory remained the same, only more dilapidated.When she entered, she saw Master Zhen's black organ in the living room, but there was a lot of dust on it, apparently it hadn't been touched for a long time.Seeing things and thinking about others, she thought of Master Zhen. We haven't seen each other for several years?he asks. It's been seven years.she answered. are you OK? Thanks to the emperor's blessing, the slaves are fine. Thanks to me?He smiled bitterly, I can't protect myself, how can there be blessings to speak of?Back then, I always wanted to fulfill you and Rongqing, but unfortunately The emperor's gracious servants are grateful.The servant girl will leave the palace in a few days, so I came here specially to thank you. Although Cha Shui Zhang is a eunuch, he is kind and honest, and he will treat you very well.He comforted her and said, that's what it means to hold a child from another place for the rest of her life outside the palace, don't you think? Yes, it is.It's just that after staying in the palace for a long time, she was very confused about moving out of the palace when she went outside.In the past, when she heard the news of letting her leave the palace, she would have laughed out loud in her dreams, but now, she felt inexplicably terrified. Don't worry, life is not a problem. If you move out of the palace, Zhang Deshun can continue to stay in the palace as a foreigner. I have already told Li Lianying.Seeing the panic on her face, he was a little confused. The servants thank the emperor for his great kindness!She didn't expect the emperor to think so carefully, and she was very grateful.Seeing that Guangxu's face was pale, she stopped to pant from time to time while speaking, fearing that he would be tired, she persuaded him to take a good rest, knelt down and kowtowed, ready to leave. etc.He stopped her and lowered his voice as much as possible, someone outside asked about your emperor's illness, what do you say? I just said that the emperor is recovering soon.she said without thinking. No, just say, the emperor is not sick. Then she raised her head for no reason, thinking that he was so sick, why didn't he let him say he was sick. Don't you think I'm pretty good?As he spoke, he struggled to sit up from the bed, put his feet on the edge of the bed, and barely stood up with his hands supporting the bed.Look, look!He yelled and walked forward.After walking a few steps, his feet suddenly went limp. If Yin'er hadn't stepped forward to help him quickly, he would have fallen to the ground. She helped him to the side of the bed, tucked a quilt under his waist to make him more comfortable, and told him to take care of himself.He leaned there, searching for something with his hands on the bed.She asked him what he was looking for, he thought for a long time, then suddenly smiled. What should I reward you for? The emperor has already rewarded it. Have I ever rewarded you? Yes, that green jade ring finger, you rewarded Rong Qing and the servants. That was a thing of the past, now that you are leaving, I must reward you with something else.He searched around but found nothing, his eyes suddenly fell on the organ at the door, and he asked Yin'er to help him sit down by the organ.He opened the piano cover and said he gave her a piece of music.She thanked the emperor, and her eye sockets couldn't help getting wet. Guangxu concentrated on playing the piano, playing the "Bi Yuntian" that Yin'er is very familiar with.In Jingren Palace, he was with Master Zhen more than once, playing and singing with her.She had heard this sad music many times, but it had never moved her so much as it does now.Amidst the melancholy sound of the piano, she seemed to see Master Zhen walking towards her. Later, Master Zhen suddenly turned into Rong Qing.She saw him holding her on horseback, walking slowly along the pear blossom ditch where the pear blossoms were in full bloom.In the wind, the flying flowers are like snow.The sound of the piano is like a song When Yin'er left Yingtai, she couldn't help but stop and look back.A huge red sun in the western sky slowly sank, dyeing all the cornices, ridges, yellow tiles and red walls in the palace brilliantly.She stared blankly at the golden twilight, the magnificent sky fire gradually extinguished, and suddenly heard an ethereal and helpless sigh from the purple-gray sunset in the distant sky.She could hear that it was the voice of the emperor. In the middle of the night on October 21, 1908, Emperor Guangxu died.Cixi also died on the sickbed the next day.Whether it was a coincidence, God's will, or other unknown reasons, no one can tell. Early in the morning, Little Gege received a letter from King Rui. In the letter, the old man said that he had suffered from asthma again, and his condition was getting worse. He hoped that she could go back to see him. In the letter, King Rui mentioned the news of the death of the emperor and Lafayette. , This letter has been on the road for more than a month. In fact, a few days before Rui Wang’s family letter was sent, major newspapers in Tokyo and Kobe had already reported the news of the death of the emperor and empress dowager of the Qing Dynasty. Hearing the news that Guangxu and Cixi had passed away one after another, Rong Qing was like an ant on a hot pot, unable to stay any longer, thinking about going back to China all day long, thinking about Yin'er in his heart.Because Prince Rui lost his power, he retired at home and his uncle was kicked out of the palace, so after he left Beijing, he stopped hearing from her.Some people said that she was imprisoned in the clan mansion, some said that she was released from the palace, and some even said that she died.No matter which kind of statement, it seems that there is more than good luck.But he still harbors a little bit of luck, hoping to meet her one day.He would rather live with Xiao Gege than marry her, just wanting to leave the official wife's position vacant, which can be regarded as his heart for her. Besides Yin'er, he still missed his mother.After my father died, my mother mourned unceasingly. In addition to missing him, my eyes were blinded from crying.He told Little Gege that he wanted to go back to China to visit his mother.Little Gege disagreed, the reason being that although Lafayette was dead, the newly enthroned little emperor and the court did not give amnesty to the world, so as a key criminal of the court, he would still face the danger of being arrested as soon as he returned to China. Little Gege felt very heavy when he learned of his father's illness.The third brother died of illness not long ago, and she is the only daughter left in this world. If something happens to her father, she will have to go to die.She wanted to leave, but she was worried about Rong Qing, so she discussed it with Rong Qing.He advised her to go back.She thought for a long time, and proposed to register her marriage with him before leaving.He advised her to go back first, he waited for her news in Japan, and once the situation permitted, he rushed back to marry her.Xiaoge hesitated again and again, feeling that what he said was reasonable, and finally decided to let her go back first, and see the situation in Beijing before making any plans.In this way, he sent her on the big ship from Yokohama Port to Tianjin. After Little Gege left, he looked forward to her letter every day, hoping to rush back as soon as possible.Months passed, and he received a vague letter from her, neither saying he could go back nor saying no, asking him to wait a little longer.He couldn't wait any longer. That day, he returned to Kobe's house from Tokyo, finished some affairs, handed over the whole residence to the maid at home, and hurriedly boarded the ship without contacting Xiao Gege, and set foot on the return journey back home. He thought in his mind that the little emperor had just ascended the throne, and he was facing many troubles at home and abroad, especially the revolutionaries led by Sun Yat-sen, who were gradually becoming popular in the south, so the imperial court would not care about him.He decided to go back first without telling Little Gege. On the one hand, he went back to see his blind mother, and at the same time secretly asked Little Gege about Yin'er's whereabouts. This was more convenient than staying with Little Gege. Standing on the deck, looking at the vast sea, he felt indescribably excited when he thought that he would soon return to Beijing, where he had been apart for nearly eight years.There is his home, his roots, his blind mother, and Yin'er, whom he dared not think of over the years, but will never forget.