Chapter 11 11. Precise Marriage Science

Chapter One I've told you before, Jeff.'I've never had a lot of faith in women's tricks,' Peters said.Even in a swindle with a clear conscience, it is not reliable to ask them to be an accomplice. This sentence is true.I said I thought they deserved to be called honest people. why not?Jeff said they had men who cheated or worked hard for them.They are not bad at doing things, but once their emotions or vanity get their heads up, they can't do it.At that time, you have to find a man to take over their jobs.The man probably had flat feet, a sandy beard, five children and a mortgaged house.Take that widow lady for example. Once Andy and I set up a marriage agency in Cairo, and it was the widow who helped me.

If you have enough capital to advertise, let's say a roll of banknotes as thick as a shaft and a thin head. It would be very promising to run a marriage agency.At that time we had about six thousand dollars and expected to double it in two months.Since we don't have a New Jersey license, we can only do business for two months at most. We drafted an ad that reads like this: The beautiful and charming widow intends to remarry.Aged 32 years old, lives in a Lianzhan family, has cash of 3,000 yuan and valuable properties in the countryside.Candidates should be rich or poor, but their disposition must be gentle, because lowly people are often virtuous.If you are solid and reliable, you will be able to manage the property and be prudent as an investor, regardless of your age or appearance.The letter should be detailed.

lonely man Correspondence: Cairo, Illinois. Peters｜Tuck Associates That's interesting enough, I said, when we've put together the literature, but where's the lady? Andy gave me an impatient, cool look. Jeff, he said, I thought you'd forgotten about the realism of your profession.Why a wife?Wall Street sells a lot of watered down stocks, do you expect to find a mermaid in it?What does a marriage ad have to do with a lady? Listen to me, I said, Andy, you know my rule, in all my dealings against the letter of the law, you have to sell something that is real, visible, and tangible.On this principle, and a careful study of municipal ordinances and train time-tables, I avoided more trouble with the police than a five-dollar bill or a cigar.To realize this plan, we must come up with a real and charming widow, or someone equivalent. As for beauty or not, it does not matter much whether there are real estate and accessories listed in the list and appendix, otherwise the magistrate may be afraid. I'm going to have trouble with you.

Well, Andy reconsidered, maybe it's safer in case the Post Office or the Sheriff's Office investigate our agency.But where are you going to get a widow who's willing to waste her time doing this non-marriage matchmaking game? I told Andy I had someone in mind who would be a perfect fit.I have an old friend, Zeke.Trotter, who used to sell soda and pull teeth at the sideshow, took an old doctor's digestive medicine last year instead of the panacea that always made him drunk, and made his wife a widow.I used to stop at their house a lot, and I thought we might as well ask her for help.

It was only sixty miles to the town where she lived, so I caught a train there and found her still living in the same little house, with the sunflowers on the washtub and the rooster.Mrs. Trotter is a perfect fit for our advertisement, though perhaps a little different in beauty, age, and fortune.She seemed to have some redeeming qualities, got over it, and did the late Zeke a favor for having her in that job. After I explained my purpose, she asked: Mr. Peters, are you doing business properly? Mrs. Trotter, I say, Andy.Tucker and I figured it out a long time ago that there were at least three thousand people in our vast, unjust country who saw our ad for your favor and your nominal money.Of that lot, if they get by any chance to win your heart, there are about three thousand ready to give you in exchange for a loafing, mercenary scum, a wretch in life, a swindler and a contemptible gold digger.

Me and Andy, I said, were going to teach those social thieves a lesson.Andy and I really wanted to organize a marriage agency called Dade Manfu Happiness, but we couldn't do it.Now, you should understand, right? Understood, Mr. Peters.She said, I knew you would not do anything despicable.But what do you want me to do?Do you want me to reject the three thousand rascals you mentioned one by one, or drive them out in batches? Mrs. Trotter, I say, your job is really a sham job.You just stay in a quiet hotel and you don't have to do anything.Andy and I handled all the correspondence and business side of things.

Of course, I said, there are a few more eager suitors and anxious ones, if they can get together the train money, they may rush to Cairo in person and come to propose marriage with a hippie salivation.In that case, you might have to go to the trouble of sending them off in person.We'll give you twenty-five dollars a week, plus hotel fees. Wait five minutes for me, said Mrs. Trotter, and let me take the puff and entrust the door key to the neighbor, and you can begin to calculate my salary. So I took Mrs. Trotter to Carol and put her up in an apartment that was neither suspiciously close to where I was staying with Andy nor so uncomfortably far away.Then I told Andy what happened.

Great.Andy said, now that you have real bait on hand, you can feel at ease.Without further ado, let's go fishing. We placed advertisements in newspapers all over the country.We only board once.Not too many, in fact, or many clerks and secretaries would have to be employed, and the sound of their chewing gum might alarm the Postmaster General. We deposited two thousand dollars in the bank under Mrs. Trotter's name, and handed over the passbook to her. If anyone doubts the reliability and sincerity of this marriage agency, he can show it to him.I know Mrs. Trotter is honest and trustworthy, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with depositing money in her name.

Even with an ad, Andy and I spent twelve hours a day answering letters. There are always hundreds of application letters received every day.I never knew before that there are so many well-meaning poor people in this country who would marry a charming widow and carry the burden of investing on their behalf. Most of the applicants admit that they are old, unemployed, underappreciated, and not appreciated by the world, but they all promise that they have a lot of affection and tenderness, and many manly qualities. If the widow commits to them, they will protect her for the rest of her life Inexhaustible.

Peters｜Tucker sent a reply letter to each applicant, telling him that the widow was very touched by his frank and interesting letter, and asked him to write again to talk about it in detail, and if it is convenient, please attach a photo open.Peters|Tucker also informed the applicant that the fee for forwarding the second letter to the female client was two dollars, and that the letter should be enclosed. Therein lies the beauty of the simplicity of this plan.Among the gentlemen and lords from all over the country, about 90% found a way to raise money and send it.It's just such a trick.It was just that Andy and I had a lot of whining about the hassle of opening the envelope and getting the money out.

There are a few customers who go out in person.We sent them off to Mrs. Trotter to take care of the aftermath; only three or four came back and asked us for some fare for the return trip.Andy and I were making about two hundred dollars a day after the letters from the Country Post started pouring in. Chapter two We were busy one afternoon; I was stuffing two-dollar bills into the humidor while Andy was blowing "She's Not Having a Wedding."At this moment, a nimble little man slipped in, his eyes darted toward the wall as if he were looking for a lost Gainsborough painting or two.I saw him with great satisfaction, because our business was done legally, soundly, and impeccably. 【Note】Gainsborough (1727｜1788): A famous British painter. You have a lot of emails today.said the man. I reached for my hat. Come on, I said, we expected you to come.I'll take you to see the goods.How was Teddy when you left Washington? [Note] When you leave Washington, Teddy is good: Refers to US President Theodore.Roosevelt, Teddy is Theodore's nickname. I took him to Riverview Apartments and set him up with Mrs. Trotter.I showed the person the bank passbook of 2,000 yuan in her name. There seems to be nothing wrong with it.said the detective. Of course, I said, if you were a bachelor, I could let you have a private chat with this lady.Those two dollars can be ignored. thanks.He said that if I were a bachelor, I might be willing to take lessons.Goodbye, Mr. Peters. When it was nearly three months old, we had an income of more than 5,000 yuan, and we thought it was time to end it.We've had a lot of people complaining about us; and Mrs. Trotter seems a little tired of it.Many suitors have been coming to her, and she doesn't seem very happy. We decided to go out of business.I went to Mrs. Trotter's flat, paid her last week's salary, said good-bye to her, and got back the two thousand dollars in my pass-book. When I got there, I found her crying like a child who doesn't want to go to school. Yeah, yeah, what's the matter with you?Did someone bully you, or are you homesick? Neither, Mr. Peters.She said, I might as well tell you.You have always been Zeke's old friend, and I can't care less.Mr. Peters, I'm in love.I fell so deeply in love with someone that I simply couldn't live without him.He is exactly the ideal person in my heart. Then you can marry him.I said, that is, as long as you both agree.Does he love you as deeply as you do? So is he.She said that he came to me after seeing the advertisement, and he wanted me to give him the two thousand yuan before he would marry me.His name is William.Wilkinson.After that, she burst into tears again. Mrs. Trotter, I say, there is no one in the world who sympathizes with a woman's feelings more than I do.Besides, your ex-husband is one of my best friends.If this matter can be decided by me alone, I must say, take the two thousand yuan, marry your beloved, and wish you happiness. It is also possible for us to give you two thousand yuan, because we made more than five thousand yuan from those who took advantage of you to propose to you.But then I said, I have to talk to Andy.Tucker discuss it. He's a good guy too, but shrewd about business deals.He is my partner shareholder.I'll talk to Andy and see what I can do. I went back to the hotel and told Andy the whole thing. I always expected something like this to happen.Andy said that in anything involving a woman's affections and affections, you can't expect her to be consistent. Andy, I said, it's not pleasant to make a woman sad because of us. Yes, said Andy, I'll tell you what I mean, Jeff.You have always been kind and generous.Perhaps I am too hard-hearted, too worldly, too suspicious.This time I will accommodate you.Go to Mrs. Trotter, tell her to take out the two thousand dollars in the bank, give it to her sweetheart, and live happily ever after. I jumped up and shook Andy's hand for five good minutes before I went to Mrs. Trotter to inform her, and she began to cry again with joy, just as much as she had with grief. Two days later, Andy and I packed our bags and were ready to hit the road. Would you like to go to Mrs Trotter's and see her before we start?I asked Andy, she would love to meet you and thank you in person. Ah, I guess not.Andy said, let's hurry up and catch that train. I was packing our capital, as usual, into the close-fitting satchel when Andy pulled a roll of large bills out of his pocket and told me to pack them together. What kind of money is this?I asked. It was Mrs. Trotter's two thousand dollars.Andy said. How did it come into your hands?I asked. She gave it to me herself.Andy said, for more than a month, I have been going to her there three nights a week. that williamWilkinson is that you?I said. Exactly.Andy replied.