Chapter 6 moon in cup

The man I remember always had a smile on his face. The deep double eyelids are slightly drooping, the well-shaped lips are toothless but the eyes are black and white, and there seems to be a light protecting the child at any time. My favorite is that kind of smile.Of course, the small dimples that suddenly appeared on the fair cheeks were also. There is no better time to miss that person than a moonlit night. For some reason, whenever I think of that person, the moon that exudes a cool milky white light always comes to my mind.It must be because the sweetness of the moon water we drank together that day left a deep impression on me when I was young!

I really like that person, Aunt Minghui. 1 In the old photos in my photo album, there is Aunt Minghui when she was young.In the photo, she is next to the mother who sat up on the hospital bed and hugged my newborn baby with her upper body, bending over and making a posture to look closely at me.It must have been taken in the ward of Arakawa Hospital by my father who loves photography. The mother's haggard smiling face faced the camera, but the auntie didn't seem to care about taking pictures at all, and turned her face to me, who was a baby, with a happy smile on her face.At the time of Showa 37, my mother was twenty-four years old, so my aunt, who was four years younger than her, should be in her twenties.

Looking at my aunt's young and carefree face, I felt that my heartbeat seemed to speed up. Assuming that the world in that photo is connected to the current world by some chance, it would be great to be able to talk to my aunt at that time.If you can tell her all the things that will happen in the future, my aunt's life will definitely be completely different.Perhaps Auntie herself didn't want that at all, though. Since childhood, Aunt Minghui has been my pride. She is very gentle, beautiful, sings well, and can make beautiful clothes. I thought to myself, when I grow up, I want to be like my aunt.

But when I said that, my aunt always smiled lonely and answered me like this: Aunty is very happy to hear you say that, but I would rather be a healthy and healthy child like you.Auntie has been thinking how great it would be if she could run around and play volleyball with everyone. My aunt was born with heart disease and was forbidden by the doctor to do strenuous exercise.So it is said that since elementary school, physical education classes are watched from the sidelines.Deliberately living in an apartment near my home is also because it is very close to the Ochanomizu Hospital where she was seeing a doctor at the time, and my mother, my sister, was nearby to take care of her. It is said that my grandfather who lives in Hayama thought so.

That house is no longer there, but I lived in the outskirts of Yanaka, Taito Ward from the time I was born to when I got married. With the distance from my home to Ueno Park, even children can easily walk there.Perhaps because of this, whether it is a school event or a family outing, Ueno Park is the place to go.In the photo album, there are at least twenty photos taken in front of the large fountain in the center of the park. Of course, there are also photos of me and my aunt alone, especially when I was in kindergarten. I hugged my aunt’s leg tightly, and it seemed like I was emphasizing at a young age: This is my aunt, and no one will give it to me. It makes people laugh .It can be seen how much I like my aunt.

As mentioned earlier, Aunt Minghui is a younger sister who is four years younger than her mother. My mother was originally a resident of Kanagawa Prefecture, but she moved to Yanaka after she married her father, who worked for a textbook publishing company.She has only one younger sister, aunt, and the relationship between the two sisters has been very good since childhood. My aunt was born with heart disease, but as long as she doesn't mess around, she will be fine, so after graduating from high school, she went to a foreign tailoring school to find a job.That school was located in Negishi near Uguisudani Station, so Auntie rented a house near her mother's house and began to live alone (or, perhaps, she chose that school because it was close to her mother's house).Moreover, she has to go to Juntendo Hospital in Ochanomizu for an examination every half a month, which is also very convenient in this regard.

So as long as I can remember, my aunt has been by my side. At that time, my aunt had already graduated from school and began to contract foreign tailoring work, but it was equivalent to a side job for the family. As long as you went to the apartment she rented, you would probably see her.So I often went to her and asked her to buy me snacks. When I was five years old, my mother started working in a department store deli to help the family, so I spent more time with my aunt. Mumi, it's good that you have two mothers. I remember that one evening, when my aunt came to pick me up instead of my mother, the kindergarten teacher once said so.But I didn't think so at the time.

It is inconvenient for my mother to hear that my mother is purely a mother. Sometimes it is scary, and sometimes it makes me depressed; but in my heart, my aunt is my sister. Sometimes she is the object of admiration, and she is also a person who can allow me to act like a baby. The fact that they feel this way is because the two of them have different positions, so their attitudes towards me are naturally different.In order to discipline me, my mother had to be harsh and harsh, and she couldn't always be kind to me.But if it is an aunt, because of a little distance, it seems that even a little pampering can be forgiven (later I was also very strict with my own children, but in front of my nieces and nieces, I was a very doting aunt).

Besides, even the sisters who have a good relationship still have personality differences after all. Just like the strong appearance, the mother has a tough temper.Although cheerful and lively, there is a thin line between him and the so-called irascibility. Once angry, it is quite scary. Mumi, why are you so useless?Like you, even if you grow up, you're trash! I am slow in doing everything, and I am often reprimanded like this.My mother is very straightforward in everything she does, so I have to think about everything before I do it, maybe it really makes her very impatient. Probably influenced by my father who was interested in literature when I was young, I have loved reading since I was a child.Strictly speaking, she is a quiet, introverted girl who loves to dream.Of course, there were times when I ran around and played and made my aunt envious, but what I loved most was going to the library or drawing pictures. When I was in the first grade of elementary school, I even thought that I would definitely marry someone who opened a stationery store or bookstore in the future.

In addition, I also like to fantasize. After dinner, I look out from the window of my room, and I tend to be in a daze for a long time.At that time, I sometimes saw Peter Pan flying in the air, but of course my mother couldn’t see it. Most likely she just thought I was wasting time in a daze, and without saying a word, she slapped me on the head and told me to take a shower early. For such a child, a mother whose virtue is to make quick decisions in everything is quite oppressive.Whenever I do something, she will stare at me coldly and say something: Alas!It's so slow, it annoys me.The little heart couldn't help but think to herself, never do anything in front of her mother again.

However, Aunt Minghui would never do this.No, she cooks and tailors and cleans as fast as her mother, and she does it very well, but Auntie never asks anyone else for that. There are all kinds of people in the world, so it is only natural that they have different personalities and tempers.If you think about it, it's like going to the zoo, the monkeys are always frizzy and restless, and the lions sleep all day. I think that and personality seem to be two different things, but I know that my aunt is comforting me, so I still feel very happy. Thinking about it carefully, Auntie never ordered others authoritarianly.Does not reprimand loudly, and does not get angry for no reason.More importantly, she is not good at venting her feelings on others. For example, I remember that one day when I was just in primary school, my aunt and I went shopping.I think it should be to go to the cloth shop in Can't Bear Street! When I was young, when we went out with my aunt, we would hold hands most of the time, but that time the aunt held things in both hands, so I walked not far in front of her alone.Although it can’t be said that it’s to relieve the melancholy (I really want to hold hands with my aunt), I still walked on the bumps on the side of the road meaninglessly, and patted the flags at the entrance of the store. I remember that when I was about to cross the small zebra crossing before the intersection at the bottom of Tuanzipo, for some reason, I rushed out of the road without looking carefully at the traffic lights.Even I feel really confused, but there may be reasons for doing so at the time. Suddenly, a large truck with barrels screeched to a stop in front of my eyes.At this time, I realized that my side was a red light. Xiao Mu! Auntie threw the things in her hands and hugged me from behind, who was scared out of my wits in the middle of the zebra crossing. Little sister, how can you cross the road without looking at the traffic lights. I remember that the driver poked his head out of the driver's seat to yell, but when he saw Auntie, he immediately turned into a good-natured attitude. After bowing and apologizing repeatedly, my aunt pulled me back to the sidewalk, squatted down to meet my line of sight, and then said in a calm tone: Xiao Mu, do you know However, the aunt seemed to be unable to say the following: you know that, she just repeated it over and over again.If it was my mother, she would have slapped me hard on the back of the head long ago. In the end, the aunt said forcefully, word by word: At the intersection, be sure to pay attention to the traffic lights!Then look at the cars on the left and right In the middle of her speech, her eyes began to water, and finally tears welled up in her eyes, sliding down her snow-white cheeks. Aunt!Could it be that your heart hurts? I immediately thought that my aunt must have had a heart attack after seeing me almost hit by a truck. No, it's okay. My heart doesn't hurt or feel stuffy. Auntie said, took my hand and wrapped it with both hands.Although she said it as if nothing had happened, I could feel her heart beating rapidly through her hands. However, I am very distressed.When I thought of Xiao Mu being hit by a car like that, my heart felt as if it had hit something, and it hurt. My aunt rubbed her cheek against the back of my hand and said. Xiao Mu, you really have to be careful.If a child as young as you is hit by a car that big, he will definitely die.If you die, you will never see your parents and your friends again.Of course, I can't see my aunt anymore. I was also very sad to hear her say that, and couldn't help crying.Aunt hugged my body and gently stroked my back and head. At that time, I thought to myself that I would never scare my aunt again and make her worry.Of course, on the one hand, it is because of her heart. I think that Auntie shouldn't show such a painful expression. 2 Car accidents are really scary. From then on, when I walked on the road, I became more cautious than ever. Unexpectedly, my mother became a victim. In the fall of my second grade in elementary school, my mother was hit by a car when she was crossing the zebra crossing at Ikenothata on her return from part-time work.It was a sunny afternoon, and my mother thought she still had a sufficient distance from the car, so she just ran a red light and crossed the road. My mother was a heavyset woman by women's standards, so luckily the injuries below the neck were not serious.However, when he fell down, his head hit the asphalt road heavily, and he was unconscious when he was sent to the hospital. My father got off work early after receiving the notice and took my aunt and me to the hospital.My mother was lying in the single room with layers of bandages on her head. Seeing her like that, I was shocked and fell to the ground on the spot. At least for now, it should be unlikely to be life-threatening. After my father went to the doctor and asked in detail, he explained this to my aunt and me. At present, it seems that we can only wait for her to regain consciousness. We surrounded our mother's hospital bed and could only wait silently.Occasionally seeing her eyelids tremble, I always thought that she would wake up soon, and when the trembling stopped, I felt that she would fall asleep forever. Afterwards, as I was just eight years old late at night, I gradually couldn't open my eyes.It was a crunch time for a mother and of course I wanted to keep going, but usually I was fast asleep at nine so it was really tough for me. Leave Mumei here to Dad, go sleep with Aunt Minghui today!It's okay mom. In the end, my father couldn't see it anymore, so he said.Of course I shook my head right away, but my aunt's body has to try to avoid adding burdens.At this time, it seems that it is better to listen to my father. As a result, my aunt and I took a taxi back to the apartment.It was almost eleven o'clock when I arrived, and to me at that time, it was already tantamount to late night. Xiao Mu, hold on a little longer. I leaned against the wall and stared blankly at the aunt who was hurriedly spreading the quilt. At that time, the house where my aunt lived was the second floor of a wooden apartment building near the top of a higher hill.After taking off your shoes at the entrance, you will walk through the wooden corridor before entering everyone's room.Independent apartments for each room should account for the majority now, but in the past, this model was the mainstream. Opening the sliding door is a small kitchen counter, and there is only one room with a size of three square meters, but it is a young lady's boudoir after all, and the aunt's room is always clean and tidy. As soon as you enter, the first thing that catches your eye is an important tool for making money: a pedal sewing machine.When not in use, it has a hand-crocheted lace cover that looks like a stylish table at first glance.Plus, the tables are always decorated with vases of seasonal flowers, so that's not to mention. The east-facing windows are hung with orange and red thread curtains, and the low folding table used for eating is also covered with a lace cover like a sewing machine.There is a low bookshelf in the corner of the room, and books of all sizes are neatly arranged. Looking back now, it seems that there are also the names of Osamu Dazai and Nakahara Chuya.On the bookshelf are photos of Hayama’s grandparents, as well as photos of our family. I am still a baby in the photos, and I am embarrassed every time I look at them. ① Dazai Osamu (1909︱1948), real name Tsushima Shuji, Japanese novelist, representative as "No Longer Human"; Nakahara Chuya (1907︱1937), Japanese poet and translator ,writer. Well, paved.Is it okay to sleep with Auntie as usual? Sewing machines and other furniture fill the space, leaving only room for a quilt.So, during sleepovers at my aunt's house (this kind of opportunity is actually rare), we always sleep in the same bed hugging each other. The moment I lay down under the quilt, the coldness woke me up immediately, but after wrapping my feet around Auntie's feet, my body seemed to become warm for some reason, and I fell asleep immediately. But probably the body wants to sleep, but the heart is still worried about the mother!In the middle of the night, I suddenly woke up alone.Unlike the way I wake up every morning, I suddenly open my eyes.Auntie hugged me and was snorting quietly. (What should I do if my mother dies?) I cried alone in the dark Sanping room thinking bad thoughts. Xiao Mu, you are worried about your mother! After realizing that I buried my face in her chest crying, the aunt also woke up and said. Didn't Dad say that life is unlikely to be in danger, so it will be fine. i know though At that time, I thought that what my father said and did was absolutely right.Father graduated from a very famous university, learned a lot, and held a high position in the company.Even the strong mother dared not be too tough on my father. My family operates with my father as the center. So, since my father said it doesn't matter, it should mean it doesn't matter.There is absolutely no chance that anything unfortunate will happen. Even so, I couldn't feel at ease.Unless my mother opened her eyes soberly and called me Mutsumi as usual, I really couldn't feel at ease. And I will be afraid of the dark. I posted it to my aunt and said.In the past, this kind of darkness was nothing at all, but this day inexplicably frightened me.It seemed that in the shadows in the corner of the room, there was something that would bring bad news. Can I turn on the light? It's okay, but then, Xiaomu, won't you be unable to sleep? In my house, I don’t even turn on the small light bulb when I sleep (because my father doesn’t like it), so I also have a habit of not being able to fall asleep if it is not dark. But, I'm afraid. Then let the moon come in the house! Auntie said unbelievable words, got out of bed quietly, and walked to the sink without turning on the light.In just a few seconds, only the sound of fiddling with porcelain was heard, and then she came back with a teacup in both hands. Auntie put the teacup on the sewing machine and opened the curtains.The moon seemed to come out, and soft white light came in.She then opened the glass window again, and the cool autumn wind blew in gently. Xiao Mu, come here. Aunt poked her head out of the window and looked up at the dark sky.Puzzled, I also stood beside her. You see, what a beautiful moon. Like her, I looked out of the window and saw that there was a full moon at the highest point in the sky.It looks like a full moon, but it seems a little crooked. Moon, please bless my mother get well soon, please. My aunt asked me to sit by the window, and handed me a small teacup, which was filled with water 80% full.That teacup was specially bought for me by my aunt, and it has a pattern of Topo Gigio printed on it. Come, here, you can catch the moon! My aunt sat down beside me, holding a white teacup herself, and began to slowly draw a figure 8 by the window. Auntie, what are you doing? Xiao Mu, you should try it too.In that teacup, you can catch the moon! In other words, she seemed to be saying that the moon should be reflected on the water in the cup. Hee hee, I've caught it! After a while, the aunt said with a little pride.I leaned in to see, and she took the cup away like a naughty child. Xiao Mu, don't peek.The moon I hold, only I can see. Looking back now, it can be seen that the angle at which the moon is reflected on the water is fixed, and it is indeed only visible from her own position.But when I was young, I always felt that it seemed to be something mysterious. Ah, I caught that too! I finally let the water surface of the teacup reflect the shining moon in the sky.The milky-white moon shone in the sky, and the small tea cup that was locked in my hand trembled slightly. If the glass is not filled with water, but a darker liquid, the image will definitely be clearer!But I feel fortunate that it is transparent water.Because the moon reflected on the water is half transparent, as if melting into the water. Look, isn't the moon coming into the house? I nodded silently.If it's just a projection, there's really nothing to say. For me when I was young, it really seemed like the moon from the sky came down to the world. Then, you make three wishes to the moon, and ask it to bless your mother's health. If the moon grants Xiaomu's wish, the taste of the water should be different! ah?That's a lie! I replied without thinking, but my aunt smiled slightly and replied: I haven't tried it yet, how can I doubt it casually? In desperation, I had to say three times to the moon in the teacup: please bless my mother to recover soon. OK, then drink some water and have a look. After taking a sip of the water in the glass according to what my aunt said, I was surprised that the water was slightly sweet. Auntie, the water has become sweet! When I said this in surprise, my aunt nodded happily. Great, the moon will surely fulfill Xiao Mu's wish. I always feel as though I've been bluffed.No, in fact, he was indeed bluffed! Now that I'm older, I can guess right away what the thoughtful trick is. Before pouring water into the glass, the aunt must have put a little sugar in advance.In other words, the water in the glass is sweet from the start.But when I was young, I foolishly followed my aunt's guidance, thinking that the taste of the water had really changed. Actually, it doesn't matter much whether that's true or not. Now, many years later, I still can't forget how hard my aunt tried to create a happy moment for me when I was young. After drinking that glass of water, I was wonderfully relieved.After that, I was able to sleep peacefully.Maybe the wish to the moon in the cup worked, and my mother really woke up at noon the next day. 3 After waking up, the mother recovered quickly and could be discharged from the hospital in about three weeks. As I said before, her injury is not serious, and the only worry is the impact on the head, but after careful inspection, it is confirmed that there will be basically no sequelae, and we are very relieved. But less than a month after being discharged from the hospital, my mother changed miraculously.It was the same as before when I was scolded for being slow, but for some reason, I started saying things like telling me to distance myself from my aunt. One day, when I was about to go out to play, I was putting on my shoes in the porch when my mother came out of the house and said: Mutsumi, you are not allowed to go to Minghui's apartment again. I, who was planning to go to my aunt's house that day, stared at my mother in surprise and asked her why on the spot. If you go, you will disturb her work. The aunt said that she could still work even if I was by my side.She also said that having someone to talk to would make her happier. She said that because she saw you were pitiful.All in all, you are not allowed to go to Minghui's apartment again.If you have to go, you should also report to me first. Of course I can't accept it.I had no opinion before, why did I suddenly say such a thing now? What's more, there are my teacups there (in fact, rice bowls and chopsticks are also there), and my aunt's house is like my second home.When I was in kindergarten, I would wait there for my mother to come back from get off work.After elementary school, I spent most of the rainy afternoons at my aunt's house.Even my mother herself should have said that it would be more at ease than if I stayed at home alone. annoying!Stop giving me nonsense, just listen to me obediently! Seeing my repeated protests, my mother suddenly yelled.This is the so-called power of parents. If she said that, the children would no longer be able to talk back. As a result, I was forced to swear never to go to my aunt's house again.Of course I was not convinced, but the expression on my mother's face when she yelled was unprecedentedly terrifying, forcing me to give in.Her expression, with strangely raised eyes, reminds one of a fox or a dog. But that vow, I quickly violated.Because my mother's expression is so scary, the only person I can tell is my aunt. Mom told Xiaomu not to come here again? I went to my aunt's house and reported everything to her.The aunt frowned when she heard this, and turned her head in disbelief. My mother looked terrible when she spoke.Mom probably hurt her head and became weird. Actually, that's what I'm most afraid of.Although the doctor said that there is no need to worry about sequelae, maybe the doctor has overlooked some major problems. Anyway, you'd better listen to your mother first. The aunt said after thinking for a while.I was dissatisfied with this decision, but my aunt said so myself, and I couldn't help it. However, you have to remember one thing, Auntie never thinks that Xiao Mu's coming here will disturb me! My aunt said, hugging me tightly. Later, according to what my mother said, I tried not to go to my aunt's house.However, my mother did not forbid me to play with my aunt, so we would go for a walk in Ueno Park together on holidays, and occasionally take the tram and Toden to Arakawa Amusement Park. Unexpectedly, my mother even banned that later.No, not only that, but what she forbade was my meeting with my aunt. Mutsumi, you are a child, you should play with children.You can't play with older people like Minghui all day long. And so on, the half-understandable statement is her reason.However, this time, I really couldn't obey obediently.I mustered up the courage to confront my mother head-on.I was eight years old at the time, but I think I showed the temperament of an eight-year-old. Don't go too far! After arguing for a few minutes, seeing that I was still aggressive, my mother put on that expression of hanging her eyes again, and slapped me hard. In fact, the head, back, and even the buttocks have been spanked several times before, but the mother never hit the girl's face.Now that you slap me, you can see that either you really want me to be obedient, or your brain is really abnormal!Thinking of this, I also had to be silent. That night, when my father came home from get off work, I took advantage of my brief absence while my mother went to the shower, and I reported the incident to him. This is very strange. After listening to my teaching, my father frowned and looked puzzled just like my aunt's reaction last time. The doctor clearly said that she has no problems. Maybe it was a head injury that caused some abnormality in my mother. After I said so, my father replied.I also don't forget to add that when my mother is angry, her face is as scary as a wild animal. That's it, I know what Mumi said.Maybe it's time to find a chance and have the doctor check it out again.However, until you figure it out, it's best not to provoke her anymore, so Mumi, you just listen to your mother for now! My father came to a conclusion that surprised me.I thought that if my father stepped in, my mother, who was in a strange atmosphere, would also give in. Unexpectedly, my father actually told me to listen to my mother. (That way, I can't see my aunt.) Obviously I live in a place less than ten minutes' walk away, I am obviously my aunt, I am very close, and I am the person I like the most, so it is still not possible to meet, I think it is really unreasonable. Moreover, there is not even a decent reason.Even so, adults have to obediently obediently say that they are not allowed to see, and children are really humble creatures. As a result, I can no longer take the initiative to see my aunt. Sadly, Auntie doesn't come to my house anymore either.In the past, on the one hand, my aunt would come to my house every day to pick me up and drop off, but now she never shows up again. (Maybe, I really think I'm bothering her.) Sometimes I would be secretly sad and couldn't help being so suspicious, but when I remembered that my aunt hugged me and said that there was absolutely no such thing, I tried to erase that negative thought.Because I firmly believe that only my aunt will never tell such lies to deceive me. So the reason I can think of is that my mother may forbid my aunt to come to my house.Maybe, my mother put on that horrible face again, forcing orders under inexplicable names. In fact, three months after the car accident, my mother's words and deeds did have some abnormalities.As a result, she failed to return to work in a department store and stayed at home all the time, but sometimes when she was preparing dinner, she would mutter to herself that she didn’t know who she was speaking ill of: How dare you play me. Take me for a fool. Don't think you can get everything you want. She was cutting things like radishes with a kitchen knife, while mumbling and saying such things over and over in her mouth, how could I not be afraid.Every time I hear her mindless cursing, I get goosebumps all over my body.In any case, father had better take mother to see a doctor as soon as possible. I pray secretly every day. Mother's dramatic return to normal was the following spring. After the second-grade graduation ceremony, I went home and saw that my mother was in a strange mood for no reason.She smiled and looked at my notice that my grades were not outstanding, she repeatedly praised me for the tile work I did in the art class, and even took great pleasure in telling me that I was circled in red by the teacher in the hard-tipped calligraphy (so-called calligraphy) class. Artwork is posted on the wall. Frankly, her extreme transformation has to be weird to me, but given the tense atmosphere before, it's obviously a welcome change. Good grades, so I commend you. The extremely excited mother even took out two hundred-yen copper coins from her wallet and put them in my palm.Even before the accident, she wasn't the type to give pocket money, so my first reaction was confusion rather than joy. I was a little scared, so I hurried out to play. (Auntie doesn't know how she is doing now.) Walking in the alley nearby, I suddenly thought of my aunt's smiling face. Since being banned by my mother, I have hardly seen my aunt again.At the end of the year, when she returned to her hometown in Hashan, she stopped by my house to say hello, and that was the last conversation. Children are tough. When I was first forbidden to see my aunt, I felt the loneliness of suddenly being alone.However, after spending more time playing with schoolmates, the feeling of loneliness gradually faded away.As a result, I began to feel my mother's sentence: children should play with children.You are right. However, after being away for many days today, I suddenly wanted to visit my aunt's house.Of course, the mother's ban has not been lifted, but judging from her good mood that day, even if the incident is revealed, I don't think she will be too angry. But on the way to my aunt's house, I still try to avoid people's eyes and ears.The last building I missed was finally in sight, and I glanced at the window of my aunt's residence on the second floor.But!In that room, the familiar orange curtains were no longer hung. (Oh no!) Feeling the turmoil in my heart, I walked in through the door, took off my shoes and rushed up to the second floor.Then I came to the door of my aunt's residence, knocked on the door two or three times, and slid the sliding door to the left with all my strength. As I had expected, everything in the room was gone, and the well-wiped tatami mats were vainly reflecting the sunlight from the windows dimly. (How could it be auntie.) Yes, Aunt Minghui, who has been inseparable since I was sensible, moved back to Yeshan's hometown alone without leaving a word on this day.Mother was very happy, so it was because of this. (What happened between mother and aunt?) Looking at the empty room, I finally thought of this question. After all, they are relatives, so they shouldn't leave without saying goodbye like this.Between my mother and my aunt, something special and ulterior must have happened that I don't know. 4 However, I never had a chance to learn that truth. Time passed, and when I was in middle school, I asked my mother directly, but she wouldn't tell me any details.Just briefly, muttering in such a low voice that the child did something shameless to face the world.So we have severed the sisterhood. Of course, I couldn't be persuaded like that.What kind of bad things can such a gentle aunt do so shamelessly in front of the world? I thought about going to Yeshan's grandfather's house to ask my aunt face-to-face, but it was really hard for me to say I was going in front of my mother.But as time passed, the more I thought about it, the more depressed I became. Finally, during the summer vacation of the second year of middle school, I secretly decided to go to Hayama's grandfather's house without telling my parents.Since her aunt moved out of the apartment in Yanzhong, she has not been married and has been living in her hometown. You have grown up, Mu. My aunt, who came to pick me up from Zushi station, said so as soon as she opened her mouth. This is a reunion after about six years. I am already fourteen years old, and I have grown taller. Compared with the time I spent with my aunt, I seem to be more or less feminine. However, my aunt was only thirty-four years old, but she looked very old.The original thick and shiny hair fell a lot, and the skin was slightly dull. If the engine is rotten metal, it seems that it will fail prematurely. Auntie said sad words lightly.However, the gentle smile didn't change at all, which made those words even more sad. Uh, is Yusuke okay? Auntie asked after we sat down side by side on the bus bound for Hayama. Ah, very good.It's too lively to be noisy. Is that nice. Auntie let the bus shake while narrowing her eyes. Yusuke is the younger brother born to his mother the following year after his aunt moved out of Yanaka.He is nine years younger than me, but because of that, I sometimes think he is quite cute. Seeing me proudly talking about my brother, my aunt said quietly: I would love to meet him too. Yes, Auntie has never met Yusuke.When Yusuke was born, both his grandparents went to the hospital, but at that time, his mother firmly opposed his aunt going with him.She said angrily that the sisters had severed ties and were absolutely not allowed to come. But I still think my mother is naive.The more she adopts this attitude, the more I am curious about the unspeakable secret between mother and aunt. At the age of fourteen, I was not considered an adult at the time, but I thought I knew more about the world than when I was eight.Therefore, based on my mother's various attitudes towards my aunt, maybe I have some inferences to a certain extent. When I finally got off the bus and arrived at my grandparents’ house, I was warmly welcomed. Everyone circulated the photos of Yusuke I brought, talked about my future dreams, and spent a short time together like this.It’s been a long time since I tasted the dishes made by my aunt, and I enjoyed it. I also told my grandparents a little exaggerated about the past between me and my aunt in the valley, just to make them laugh. That night, it was the last night I spent with my aunt, even though my parents scolded me afterwards, I was still very glad that I came to see her. That night, I saw the moon in the cup again. Delighted by this reunion, I offered to sleep with my aunt in her room.Auntie's room in Yeshan's hometown is very large, with enough space to spread two quilts.So we put the pillows side by side, and after turning off the lights, we chatted happily into the night. By the way, the night my aunt and my mother had a car accident, didn't we put the moon in a teacup and drink it? Hee hee, that happened. In the dark room, the aunt smiled quietly.Grandpa and grandma's house is very close to the sea, and when we talk, we can hear the sound of the waves constantly. That, very interesting really want to do it again. Well, do you want to try it? Auntie said, quietly got up. I'm going to fill the water, you wait for me. When my aunt went to the kitchen, I opened the curtains and glass windows of the room.The strong wind with the smell of sea blows in, and the sound of the waves becomes louder. I leaned out the window and saw the moon was out, but it was just covered by the roof of the main house, and it would take a little skill to get it into the teacup, I thought. I kept you waiting, Xiao Mu. Aunt finally came back with a tray with two teacups on it.I immediately reached out to pick up a cup, and then I cried out in surprise.Because one of the cups is a children's teacup with the Ji Qiao mouse pattern that I used to use at my aunt's place. Auntie, you didn't throw it away? How can I throw it away. Under the dim moonlight outside the window, my aunt smiled as usual.Yes, Auntie is such a person.She was very gentle and she was a very, very affectionate person. Quick, catch the moon! At the aunt's order, we repeatedly stretched our arms at various angles, trying to draw the moon that illuminated the room into the small teacup. The moon is not high today, so it is difficult.Besides, it was blocked by the roof of my house. As if playing a fun game, the aunt said happily.I moved the teacup not to be outdone, but the moon hadn't risen yet, so it couldn't fit into the cup as easily as last time. (Caught it!) Probably worked hard for about five minutes! In my Ji Qiao mouse cup, a small round light appeared unexpectedly.I was very happy, and I was about to report to my aunt, and I suddenly noticed it a second before that. (Is this the moon?) At that time, I was standing by the window of the room, so it should be the corner where the moonlight was blocked.不，說穿了，我站的地方，根本只有腳下才能照到月光。 但我捧在胸前的杯中，分明映現圓光。我輕輕一搖，它便與水一同蕩漾，所以顯然是映現沒有錯。 但我抬頭看天花板，既沒有反射月光的東西，也沒有其他光源。電燈自然不用說，就連小燈泡也關了。 （這個究竟是什麼光？） 定睛看著那小小的光點一瞬間，我清楚看見其中映現小小的粉色唇瓣之物。那不是大人的嘴唇，是微微咧開的小嘴唇分明是小嬰兒的嘴唇。 察覺這點時，我不禁鬆手甩開本來握著的杯子。茶杯就這樣掉到榻榻米上，灑了滿地的水。 Oops!小睦還是一樣毛毛躁躁。 阿姨笑著想撿起茶杯。 阿姨，告訴我。 我甚至忘記道歉，脫口質問。 六年前，妳和我媽發生了什麼事？該不會，是爸爸和阿姨 小睦！ 彷彿要打斷我的話，阿姨以我從未聽過的強烈口吻說。 什麼事也沒有。 她撿起茶杯，在手中把玩一邊回答。 就算真有什麼，那也與小睦無關小睦妳用不著知道。 阿姨說著，在逆光的月色中微笑看起來也似哭泣。 六年後的秋天，阿姨在早上去沙灘散步時驟然發病，就此離世。得年四十，始終未婚。 明明已斷絕姊妹關係，接獲死訊的母親卻不顧眾人眼光放聲大哭。當時，她簡直像要說給我聽那般，一再重複：明惠，是妳自己不好的話語，在我耳中縈繞不去。 阿姨的喪禮在逗子的殯葬場舉行。 那是個秋高氣爽的星期天，由於周圍沒有太高的建築物，天空看起來無限遼闊。出席喪禮的人不多，很安靜，但那種低調內斂也很像阿姨的作風。 告別式後，在殯葬場大廳等候火葬完畢之際，哭累的母親來找我，向我傾訴往事。阿姨說我用不著知道的事，母親不知是想懺悔，還是想讓我替她分擔身上的包袱，我還沒問她就開始主動訴說。 大致上，與我以前想像的差不多不知是從何時開始的，我的父親與阿姨發生了世俗不容的關係。 說什麼起初本來是基於同情之類的那孩子從小就是這樣。哪怕不吭聲，周遭的人也會自動照顧她。在父母面前，也被當成心肝寶貝。 彼時，父親正在大廳的角落與親戚喝啤酒，一邊熱心地交談。他那漲紅的臉孔，以及與喪禮格格不入的比手劃腳的動作，刺激了我的神經。他似乎做夢也沒想到，我們正在談論他過去的惡行。 我車禍住院時才發現當時，我的確神經不正常。有一陣子好像無法恢復清醒，一想到那段期間他們兩個在想什麼，我就怒火中燒。 父親的心情不是我能揣測的但是至少，阿姨應該是認真祈求母親能夠康復。否則她不可能會想到向杯中的月亮許願。 而且，那孩子懷孕了。她的身體雖弱，在這種地方卻跟普通人一樣，真是討厭。 母親不屑地說。 她居然好意思說什麼要一個人把孩子生下來養大我堅持絕對不行，叫她處理掉了。 處理如果可以，我實在不想聽見親生母親的嘴裡說出這種字眼。 阿姨又沒叫妳把爸爸讓給她，妳就讓她養孩子有什麼關係。 我抱著心如棘刺的感受說。阿姨是那麼善良多情的人做出那種決定時，不知有多痛苦。 What are you talking about? 聽了我的話，母親瞪大雙眼，連說二次同樣的話： 還不都是因為有妳還不都是因為有妳。 我不禁緊閉雙眼。 那晚，在茶杯中浮現的光點在那杯中，我的確看見宛如嬰兒嘴唇的影像浮現。如果我沒看錯，那個，該不會是我同父異母的弟弟或妹妹吧！ 如今想來，比起杯中浮現的月亮，那是更縹緲數倍，甚至數十倍的光芒。 媽妳為什麼要告訴我這種事？ 講完後，我忍不住責問母親。 阿姨一定是不希望我得知這個事實後，感到內疚或痛苦吧！正因為如此，她才會選擇沉默地逝去。 因為大家都只會捧著那孩子無論是妳外公、外婆、妳爸爸、妳，總是嘴上掛著明惠、明惠我又不是自己願意當她的姊姊！ 母親以強烈的口吻說完，厚實的手掌摀住臉哭了。 那猶如悲鳴的話語，似乎並未回答我的問題，但是看到她抖動肩膀哭泣的模樣時，有生以來，我第一次覺得母親弱小得可悲，比誰都惹人憐愛。