Chapter 21 Chapter Twenty

Others still have heavy eyelids, headaches and discomfort when they return home, upset and depressed.They say the movie sucks as hell, the actor is a brother or brother of the Baldwin family, and he looks like Terry.Hatcher's (not really) heroine has a series of logically funny (not really) misunderstandings.The theater was full of children, obviously under the age limit, texting each other for two hours, rattling their food, and kicking Justin's chair back.Rui and Justin are clearly still in a cold war, but even Abby has started not talking to Rui.Dinner was leftover lasagne, crispy on the outside and burnt on the bottom, and everyone was silent and tense, no one getting up to make a salad or light a fire in the fireplace.

Then I got fed up and was about to scream when Daniel suddenly looked up and said calmly, "By the way, Lacey, I want to ask you something."I want to talk about the poetess An Finch in my discussion class on Monday, but I am very unfamiliar with her stuff. Can you give me a brief summary after dinner? An Finch wrote a poem about birds that often appeared in Lacey's dissertation notes, but there were only twenty-four hours in a day, so that was all I knew.It is possible for Xiao Rui to tease me like this, because of his personality of often making fun of others maliciously, but Daniel never speaks casually.We had a brief alliance in the yard before, even if it was peculiar, but it was over.He started from a very young age to let me know how miserable he could make my life if I didn't leave.

I don't want to make a fool of myself, spoofing my voice and identity all night in front of someone who knows I can only talk gibberish.Fortunately, Lacey has always been a girl who doesn't play by the rules, but maybe this has nothing to do with luck at all, I dare say she deliberately created such an image, so that she can use it in a situation similar to the present.Sorry, I don't want to.I bow my head to answer, continuing to poke the crispy lasagna with my fork.The room fell silent for a moment.how are youJustin asked. Without looking up, I shrugged and said: It's okay, I think.

I notice one thing.From their sudden silence, to Justin's tense voice, to the hasty exchange of glances from the others, it's obvious that they're worried about me in the blink of an eye.I spent the last few weeks trying to get them to relax and take their guard off, completely oblivious to the fact that I could turn them on their head in an instant, and how powerful such a weapon could be if used correctly. You had trouble with "Metamorphosis" before, but I helped you, Daniel reminded me: Have you forgotten?I don't know how long it took me to find out which sentence is that sentence for you?

I certainly wouldn't take the bait.I will only confuse you when I talk about it now, and say that An Finch is Mary.Who is Barber.My head is a mess today, I cut lasagna into small pieces and pushed them around on the plate.never mind. Everyone put down their knives and forks.How have you been?Abby asked. Who cares, said Rui: I'm not interested in Anne or Finch, and if Lacey doesn't Is something bothering you?Daniel asked politely. Leave her alone. No problem, Daniel said: go to rest, Lacey, we'll do it another night, when you feel better. I ventured a glance up.Daniel has picked up the knife and fork again, eating regularly, with no expression on his face other than contemplation.He was defeated by himself, and he was concentrating on thinking about the next step.

I decided to strike first.After dinner, we all stayed in the living room reading, or at least pretending to be reading, and no one tried to interact, suggest a game of cards or anything.The ashes of last night were still piled in the fireplace, and it felt desolate and gloomy.The air was damp and cold, and from time to time there were sharp cracks and ominous groans from the corners of the room, which startled us.Xiao Rui kicked the fireplace guardrail with the toe of her shoe, and the sound was regular and harsh. I was fidgeting in the chair and kept changing my position.Justin and Abby were sandwiched between the two of us, and the tension was growing.Daniel buried himself in the annotated pages of text, seemingly oblivious to it.

Around eleven o'clock, as usual, I went to the hall to put on my outdoor clothes, and then returned to the living room door, showing a hesitant expression.going for a walk?Daniel asked. Well, I said: Maybe it will relax me.Justin, can you come with me? Justin jerked his body and looked at me like a rabbit caught in the headlights.I?Why are you looking for me? Why do you need someone to accompany you?Daniel asked, with a hint of curiosity in his tone. I shrugged awkwardly and said: I don't know, okay?My head felt weird, I kept thinking that I twisted the scarf with my fingers, bit my lower lip and said: Maybe it's because I had a bad dream last night.

Nightmare, Xiao Rui said without looking up: It's not a bad dream, and it's not a six-year-old child. What kind of bad dream?Abby asked, frowning slightly, showing a worried look. I shook my head and said: I don't remember, I'm not very clear, it's just that I just don't want to walk alone on the path. I don't want to either!It felt really unsettling, Justin said.I hate being outside, I really hate it, not just that it's scary and spooky.Can't you find someone else? Otherwise, Daniel kindly suggested: Lacey, since you are so nervous, why don't you just stay at home?

Because I just need to sit at home for a second and people will go crazy. I'll go with you, Abby said: two girls talk. I don't mean to offend, Daniel smiled tenderly at Abby and said: But I think the killer might not be afraid to see you two.Lacey, if you're really worried, you'd better find someone taller than you, so why don't you let me go with you? Xiao Rui raised her head and said to Daniel: If you want to go, then I will go too. There was a dead silence in the room.Xiao Rui stared at Daniel coldly, and Daniel looked back calmly.Why?He asked Xiaorui. Because he is mentally retarded, Abby said to the book: If you leave him alone, he will go away, or at least shut up, isn't it fun?

I don't want you two, I said.I'd expected it a long time ago, Daniel was eager to join in, but I didn't expect Justin to have a phobia of country roads, which is really inexplicable.You can only bicker and argue, but I'm not in the mood to accompany you.I want Justin, I haven't seen him in a long time. Xiao Rui snorted.You see him all day, every day.Who can stand Justin for how long? That's different, we haven't talked for hundreds of years, I mean have a good chat. I can't go out in the middle of the night, Lacy, said Justin, seeming really miserable.I really want to, but I just can't.

Then, Daniel put down the book and said to Xiaorui and me.His eyes are shining, as if he has finally won, feeling tired and mocking: Let's go. Forget it, with disgust on my face, I gave the others a hard look and said: Forget it, it’s okay, you guys just stay at home and continue complaining. I slammed the kitchen door hard, causing the glass to shake violently. Xiao Rui murmured something, but was interrupted by Abby's growl and shut up.I walked to the end of the yard, turned around and saw the four of them looking down at their books again, each immersed in the light, shining, closed, and hard to touch. Clouds and fog rose at night, and the air was heavy and stagnant, like a wet quilt covering the mountain.I was walking fast, trying to get to the point where I was exhausted, and could fool myself that my heart was beating faster because of the exercise. I remembered that when I first arrived at the forest house, I kept hearing the imaginary sound of the big clock in my ears, and I couldn't help walking faster and faster.The bells lasted only two days, and then I sank into the slow, sweet rhythm of the house and forgot about the world around me.Now the clock came back, ticking madly, growing louder, racing off toward the great dark zero hour. I walked to the end of the path and called Frank.Just the thought of climbing up a tree and sitting in one place makes me sick all over.Finally appeared!He said: what are you doing?Running a marathon? I leaned against the trunk, trying to get my breathing back to normal.I want to use walking to drive away the hangover and clear my head, point. Good exercise, Frank said: By the way, baby, you did a good job last night, and when the case is over, remember to ask me to buy you a cocktail.I think you've finally broken us through. Maybe, I don't want to be too happy.Judging from the current situation, it is still possible for Ned to lie.He wanted to buy Lacey's ownership of the house, Lacey ignored him, he decided to try again, I mentioned the memory loss, he saw the opportunity, and lied that we had an agreement before that guy wasn't Ein Stan, but not an idiot, at least not when it comes to profiteering. Possibly, Frank said: maybe.But how on earth did you get in touch with him? I have already figured out the answer.I monitor the cabin every night because I think she must be there for a reason.If she wants to meet someone, the cabin is the ideal place, so I guess there's a good chance that person will show up again. As a result, the slow doctor really came, and Frank's tone was flat.On the day I told you about the house so that you could have something to talk about, he really took the time.Why didn't you call me after he left? My head was buzzing, old Fa, and all I could think about was how this would turn the investigation around, how do I take advantage of this, what do I do next, how do I make sure Ned isn't talking crap I was going to call Here you go, but think about it and forget about it. It's better to have a fight than nothing.So, how was your day?Frank's tone was relaxed, and he couldn't tell whether he was in a good or bad mood.Well, I know, I'm a big lazy cow, I said to him apologetically: I should try to talk to Daniel when I'm alone with him, but I just can't.I have a terrible headache, and you know Daniel, it's exhausting being around him, I'm sorry. Well, Frank said, the tone was not very sure, so what happened to the deliberate quarrel just now?I think it should be intentional, right? I want to disturb them, I say, it's the truth.We had put them at ease, hoping they would talk, but it didn't work.Now that I have a new lead, I think maybe I can work harder. Before you did this, didn't you think you should discuss it with me first? I was deliberately surprised and silent for a moment, and then said: I thought you could guess it. Well, said Frank, in a tone so gentle that it set alarms going off inside me.You did a great job Kathy, I know you didn't want to get involved in this case, I appreciate you decided to help in the end, you are a really good cop. Hearing him say that, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.What's the matter, Frank?I said, but I already knew what was going on in my heart. Frank smiled.Take it easy, it's good news.It's time to end undercover, baby.I want you to go home and start complaining that you seem to have a cold, dizziness, body aches, fever and the like.But don't say the wound hurts, lest they want to see it, just pretend to be sick.Maybe waking someone up at random in the middle of the night is what worries Justin the most, right?Tell him that your body is getting more and more uncomfortable.If they haven't taken you to the ER by morning, figure out a way to get them to, and I'll take over later. I clenched my fist, nails digging deep into my palm.Why? I thought you would be very happy, Frank looked surprised, a little distressed: you were not before Not wanting to come at all, I know.But I'm here, and I'm getting closer to the truth, why do you want me to withdraw now?Didn't they report to you first because I pissed off? God, of course not, Frank said, still tinged with surprise.Nothing to do with that.You went undercover to find out what to do, and you did a great job.Congratulations, baby.You have completed the task. No wonder, I said: not yet.You sent me in to find the suspect, you said it yourself, so far I have only found one possible motive and four suspicious suspects!Five, if you think Ned might be lying.How to determine the direction of the investigation, let me ask you?The four of them must have come up with the same narrative again, as you first surmised, and we're back where we started.Shit, let me get this done. I'm thinking of you, it's my job.If you find out these things, you may put yourself in danger, I can't sit idly by Shit, Frank.If one of them kills Lacey, I will be in danger from the first day I set foot in the house, why didn't you worry then, until now keep your voice down.Is it for this?You are so angry, is it because I didn't protect you enough? I felt Frank right in front of me, waving his hands in anger, his blue eyes widening in humiliation. Forgive me, Frank, I'm grown up and can take care of myself.You never bothered about me before, so why the fuck, why should I get away now? no answer.After a while, Frank sighed.Well, he said: You want to know why, well, because I think you've lost the objectivity you need in your case. What are you talking about?My heart is beating like thunder.If Frank really put a monitor in the house, or guessed that I took out the microphone, I shouldn't have left the microphone in the house for so long. Come on, make some noise or something You are too emotionally involved.I'm not an idiot, Kathy, I know exactly what happened last night, and I know you're keeping a bunch of fucking things from me.These are warning signs, and I don't want to pretend I didn't see them. Frank was fooled by Ferry's music, and he didn't know that my identity had been revealed, and my heartbeat slowed down suddenly. You're starting to cross the line, maybe I shouldn't have played you undercover in the first place.I don't know what happened to you in the homicide unit, and I don't want to ask, but you're clearly out of your mind and obviously not ready for something like this. I suddenly got angry, but if it exploded, it would just fulfill Frank's opinion, and this was probably what he had in mind.So, I kicked the tree trunk hard, felt that my toe was almost broken, and when I was calm enough to talk, I said to him: My head is normal, Frank, and I haven't crossed any lines.All of my actions have one goal in mind, which is to complete the investigation and find the main suspect in Lacy's murder, and I want to get the job done. Sorry, Kathy, Frank is soft-spoken and firm.Not this time. Undercover has a characteristic that no one has ever mentioned.The principle in this business is that the boss steps on the brakes, and he decides when you get in and when you get out.After all, he is the only one who can see the big picture and has information that you may not know, so if you want to save your life or your job, you'd better do what he says. But no one mentioned that the undercover carries a grenade on his body at all times, that is, the boss can only order, but not force you.I've never heard of anyone using this grenade, but everyone knows it exists.As long as you say no, the boss will have nothing to do with you, even if it is only for a short moment, but it may be enough for you to accomplish what you want to do. However, once the grenade is thrown, the rift in trust between the two will never be healed.Suddenly, I saw the airport code that Lacey had left in the diary, and saw her scribbled hard. I want to stay.I said.As the wind swept through the trees, I felt the trunk of the tree against which I was leaning back shake back and forth, sending a shivers down my spine. No, Frank said: You can't stay.Don't argue with me about it, Kathy.I've decided we don't need to fight about it.Immediately go home to pack up things, began to pretend to be sick.See you tomorrow. You put me here on a mission, and I answer: I will never leave until the job is done.I'm not arguing with you right now, Frank, I'm telling you. Frank finally understood.He didn't speak harshly, but the tone of his speech still made my shoulders shrink.Do you want me to block people in the street, find drugs from you, throw you in jail, and bring you back to your senses?I would. You will not.They all knew Lacy didn't do drugs, and if she'd been charged by the police and died in custody, they'd have made a scene and ruined the investigation, and it would take you years to get rid of the smell. There was a silence on the other end of the phone, and Frank fell into a long exam.You know doing this will cost you your job, right?Finally he said: You directly disobeyed the orders of your superiors.You know I can grab you, confiscate your badge and your gun, and fire you on the spot, right? Yes, I said: I know.But no, Frank wouldn't do it, and I knew I was taking advantage of that.There's another thing I know, I don't know how, maybe he's not surprised at all, but I know he's done the same thing himself. You know you're keeping me from seeing Holly for the weekend, right?Tomorrow is her birthday, and you're going to explain to her why Dad didn't show up for me, will you? I flinched, but then reminded myself that it was Frank who was speaking, and that Holly's birthday might not be until a few months away.Then go, find someone else to take care of the microphone to listen to the sound. impossible.Even if I tried, I couldn't find anyone.The budget is gone and the top is fed up and doesn't want to pay the cops to sit here and listen to you drink and tear up the wallpaper. I don't blame them, I replied: How to deal with the microphone reception is your family's business, you can play as you like, you can let the machine monitor yourself, I just want to take care of my own business. Well, Frank sighed in frustration and said: Well, let's do this, you have forty-eight hours, from now on, get things done seventy-two hours. Seventy-two hours is fine, but there are three conditions.Don't be stupid, keep on the phone, keep the microphone with you, I want you to promise me. My heart skipped a beat.Maybe Frank knew everything, and he was always elusive.Understood, I said to him: I promise you. Counting three days from now, when the time is up, even if you are only one centimeter away from solving the case, you have to go home.That is, Frank looked at his watch: Monday night at 11:45, you must leave Hawthorn House, report to the emergency room, or be on your way to the hospital.During this time, I will keep a recording of the conversation.If you meet the three conditions and show up on time, I will cancel the recording, and no one will know our agreement.But as long as you keep talking, I will definitely drag you out immediately, no matter how much effort it takes, what will be the consequences, and I will definitely dismiss you, do you hear me clearly? After hearing it clearly, I said: "Clearly."I'm not trying to mess with you, Frank, really not. Kathy, you, Frank said, are very, very unintelligent, and I hope you understand that. After speaking, there was a beep, and everything returned to silence, leaving only static electricity lingering in my ears. My hands were shaking non-stop, and I dropped the phone twice before barely pressing the end button. Ironically, Frank was almost right.Until twenty-four hours ago, I wasn't working on a case at all, just letting the case lead me along, letting myself fall into it like a free fall, deep down, and down again.This case has countless little fragments, maybe words, glances or something, scattered like bread crumbs, seemingly unconnected, ignored by me, just because I want (or think I want) to be Lacey, Better than solving a case.Frank didn't know, and I didn't tell him, that it was Ned who brought me back to life, even though he had no intention of doing so.I want to close this case, and I'm willing (I don't say the word casually) to do anything, to do it. You may be thinking, I'm staying because I was cheated and nearly ruined everything, and that's the only way to save the day.Or, you can only keep your job if you solve the case. This is for work, I subconsciously said to Daniel before.Or maybe the failure of Operation Vesta has poisoned my life, and I need this antidote.Probably all three.But it's not these things that I can't let go of, it's that no matter who this girl is or what she has done, we are destined to be intertwined from birth.We lead each other into this role, into being here.I know things about her that other people never know.I can't leave her now. No one in this world can see things with her eyes, read her heart, follow the clues she left behind, and tell the story she can't tell, except me. All I know is this: I need an ending, I need to finish the story, and I'm afraid.I'm not often afraid, but I know as much as Daniel does that there is a price for everything.However, Daniel didn't know something, or he just didn't mention it, and I made it clear from the beginning: the price is like wildfire, changing at any time, the choice is not always yours, and you You must know in advance what you have to pay. There is another thought that lingers in my mind, and I feel uncomfortable and want to vomit when I think about it.This girl came to me because she was always looking for someone who would switch places with her.She wanted to find someone, longed to leave the shattered old life behind and let it evaporate like morning mist on the grass.She wants to find someone who is willing to turn into the scent and green buds of the blue bell flower, so that she can thrive and bloom, become real again, and live real. Until this moment, I had never believed the girl was dead, even though I had never seen her alive.I can never get rid of her, I have the face of a girl, even if I am old, this face will appear in the dressing mirror, peeking at the imprint of the years she never lived.For the past few weeks, I've been living a girl's life in a strange and vivid way.Her blood gave birth to bluebells and hawthorn saplings, and made me who I am now.But when I had the chance to take the last step, to cross the line, to lie with Daniel between the vines and the sound of the water, to lay down my own life, scarred and wounded, to start over, I said no. It was so still all around, that any minute I would have to go back to Hawthorn House and try desperately to destroy it. I suddenly wanted to talk to Sam, and I felt a pain in my stomach, as if someone had punched me.I wanted to tell him, as if it were the most urgent thing in the world, to tell him I was going home while it was still possible.More importantly, I'm back.And now I am afraid, like a child in the dark, I want to hear his voice. Sam's cell phone was off, only to hear a woman in the voice mail asking me to leave a message in a casual tone.Sam was at work, watching the Naylor house in shifts, or going through statements for the twelfth time, trying to figure out what was missing.If I were a crying girl, I would burst into tears, but unfortunately I am not. When I came back to my senses, I realized that I had hidden the number and dialed Rob.I cover the microphone with one hand, feeling my heartbeat heavy and slow under my palm.I know this is probably the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life, but I don't know how to stop. This is Rob. The second ring, Rob answered the phone, his voice sober.Rob has always had a hard time falling asleep.I didn't answer, his voice suddenly became alert: Hello? I cut off the phone.Before I pressed the end button with my thumb, I seemed to hear Rob eagerly called out Kathy?But I have already pressed it down, and even if I want to pick it up, it is too late.I fell down under the tree and sat for a long time with my arms tightly wrapped around myself. During the last time Rob and I worked together, I picked him up at the scene of the murder on a Vespa at three in the morning.It was dark and it was just the two of us on the way back, and I drove hard. When cornering, Rob would lean against me and the bike would barely feel the extra weight.We passed a certain corner, and there were two high beams in front of us, getting brighter and brighter, covering the entire road.I saw a truck driving in the middle of the road, heading straight for us.But we slipped to the side of the road as light as leaves, and the truck roared past us, kicking up a gust of wind and blinding Rob and me with lights. Rob held my waist, and his hands trembled from time to time, violently and violently.I thought about the warmth of the apartment and wondered if there was any food in the fridge. Neither of us knew it at the time, but the next few hours would be my last with him.I have been leaning easily on this friendship, like a two-meter thick wall, without thinking about it. But within a day, everything about us began to fall apart too quickly for me to stop.In the next few days, I often woke up in the middle of the night with those two distant lights flashing in my mind, which was more dazzling than the sun. At this moment, I closed my eyes in the dark night path, and saw those two bright lights again.I suddenly realized that I could keep going, I could be like Lacey, I could take her full speed off the side of the road, rushing to the far lights, rushing into the boundless silence in the bright light, nothing can touch us again, forever.