Chapter 10 chapter eight

I wandered around in the hall, and I could see the clues of myself everywhere.At first I just looked at them, maybe touched them with a finger, as if they would disappear out of thin air.My little TV is on the floor.My stereo and my CDs.My laptop is on the coffee table.I lifted the top cover of the computer and pressed the power button, and the computer started after a beep.My green glass vase was on the table, and three withered yellow roses were hanging down the sides, their blackened petals scattered about the base of the vase.My leather jacket is laid out on the couch as if I've just taken it off to pour a glass of milk.And there's a picture of me in the mirror over the fireplace.To be more precise, there are two, which are the headshots taken when I applied for a passport. In the photos, I was trying to suppress my smile.I look happy.

But this is someone else's house, all foreign furniture except my own chairs and books I haven't read or even heard except those cookbooks on the mantelpiece.It's full of unfamiliar messy clutter from other people's lives.I picked up a framed photograph on a shelf and examined it: a young woman with curls blowing in the wind, smiling with her hands in the pockets of a heavy coat, with mountains behind her.It was a pretty, carefree scene, though I had never seen that face.At least, I don't remember seeing one.I tidy up the mail scattered on the floor and go through it one by one.All letters are addressed to Zou.Amber, or Zou Sefen.Amber, or Miss Amber.I stack the mail in a neat stack on the dining table.She can turn it on herself later.But when I look at the withered flowers on the table, or the amount of mail that was scattered on the floor, I can't help but wonder how long she's been away.

I opened the mail on the computer, pressed receive and send and waited, a small clock on the screen blinked continuously. Then there was a melodious beep and I realized I had thirty-two new emails.I click on the scroll to quickly scan, and it's full of emails from organizations I've never heard of, reminding me of things I don't want to know. I hesitate in this silent room.Then I walked across the hall and opened the first door, which swung open and I was in a bedroom with the curtains drawn and a warming stove.I turn on the light.The double bed was made, with three velvet cushions scattered at the foot of the bed, and a set of red checked pajamas on the pillows.There was a lavender bathrobe hanging from a hook on the door, and a pair of flat slippers on the floor.Above the wardrobe drawer was an old teddy bear with its hair almost polished, a bottle of perfume, a small jar of lip balm, a silver keepsake box, and another photo, this time of the face of a bearded man close up.He had an Italian look, with dark skin, extra-long eyelashes, fine lines around his eyes, and a smile.I opened the closet, black suits, soft woolen sweaters, gray thin sweaters, all belonged to others.I lifted the lid of the laundry basket, and it was empty, except for a pair of white underwear and a few pairs of socks.

The next door opened to the bathroom, which was clean, warm, and white tiled.My blue and white toothbrush is in a glass mouthwash cup next to her black mouthwash cup; my toothpaste, the lid off, is next to her toothpaste, which is still capped.And my deodorant, my moisturizer, my make-up case.My green towel is spread over the radiator, next to her colorful towel.I washed my hands, dried them with my own towel, and gazed at my unaccustomed face in the mirror.I almost expected to see her standing behind me with that smile on her face.Zou Sefen.amber.Zou. As soon as I walked into the third room, I knew immediately that it was my room, not because I could identify the objects in the first place, but because I had a strange, strong feeling of coming home.Perhaps it had something to do with the smell, or a vague sense of order in the room.Shoes on the floor; my suitcase opened under the push-up window, shirt and sanitary shirt and undergarments still folded inside; a pink thick sanitary shirt casually thrown on the chair; A small pile of dirty laundry in the corner; a mess of ornaments on the bedside coffee table; the loose gown I wear at night hangs above the bed.I opened the cupboard door, and inside were my two decent suits, plus winter coats and skirts.And the blue coat I heard from Luo Bing, and the brown pleated velvet dress.I leaned forward to sniff the soft pleats, wondering if I'd ever had the chance to actually wear it.

I sat on the bed for a while, looking around.My head was buzzing.Then I took off my shoes and lay back with my eyes closed listening to the hum of the central air conditioner.It's quiet here.Occasionally, I would hear faint footsteps from the house above, or the sound of a car passing by on an adjacent road.I pulled the loose gown over and put it under my head.Somewhere, a car door slams shut and someone laughs. I must have fallen asleep because when I suddenly woke up with a strange taste in my mouth, it was raining outside.The street lights were orange, and the trees outside the window flickered on and off in the orange light.I was a bit chilly, so I picked up the pink sanitary shirt, only to find that my bag was under it.It's just there, bulging and tightly buttoned.I frantically unzipped my bag, and what appeared on top was my wallet.I opened my wallet to find four new twenty-pound notes and a large pile of change.My credit card was in there, too, along with my driver's license, a stamp album, my National Insurance number on a slip of paper, and a few business cards.Nothing seems to be missing.

I strolled back to the kitchen and living room, clutching my bag tightly.I closed the curtains entirely, and turned on the floor lamp and the wall lamp above the cooker.It's very comfortable and feels like home.I obviously moved right.I look into the refrigerator.It was full of food; fresh macaroni, bags of lettuce, a courgette, scallions, fresh milk, cream, cheddar cheese, Parmesan cheese, and jars of goat cheese. Lattice, eggs, half a loaf of whole wheat black toast with seeds removed, and a bottle of white wine that has not yet been finished.No meat or fish maybe this Miss Zou is a vegetarian.Most of the groceries were past their expiration date. When I smelled the fresh milk, it was sour, the toast was hard, and the salad in the bag was limp and withered.Still, I figured, that bottle of wine would have to be drunk.

Without thinking, I went to the cupboard and took out a goblet.As I was about to pick up the bottle, I froze: I knew where the glass was, some dusty little corner of my brain knew it.I stood still, trying to let this dusty memory grow, but in vain.I poured myself a large glass of wine, after all, I probably bought it myself and played the music.I almost expected Zou to walk in the door, and the thought made me both nervous and excited.Will she panic or be happy to see me?Will she greet me or be dismissive and shocked?Will she frown or give me a hug?But to be honest, I knew she wouldn't come.She has gone somewhere far away.For days no one came in or out.

There was a flashing light on the phone, and after a moment of hesitation, I pressed the reverse button.The first message was from a woman who said she hoped all was well and that she would make dinner if Zou would wait.The voice sounded familiar, but it took me a while to realize it was me.Trembling, I rewind it and listen again to my own strange voice in this strange place.I sound happy.I took a long gulp of the sour wine.Another section is a long, domineering message from a woman, mentioning a deadline for a job and how it should be carried out; another man simply said: Hi, Zou, it's me, can we meet soon?Call me back.Another woman said that she would come to town tomorrow, would she like to have a drink, and the other woman kept saying: Hello?Hello?until disconnected.I archived those messages and took another sip of the spicy baijiu.

I'm not sure what to do.Am I an unexpected visitor here, or is this my current residence?I want to stay, take a hot bath, put on my caftan, eat macaroni, and watch my TV curled up in my chair.I don't want to live with friends who are nice and polite to me but think I'm crazy.I'm going to stay here to meet Zou and find my lost self. No matter what I'm going to do later, I have to try to figure things out now.First things first, I sat in a chair and poured out the contents of my bag and arranged them on the coffee table.The largest item is a thick A5 envelope with my name on it.I dumped out the contents: two passports, one old and one brand new.I flipped to the back and saw my picture, which was exactly the same as the one stuck in the mirror.A plane ticket: I was supposed to fly to Venice ten days ago and return only the day before yesterday.I have long wanted to visit Venice.

A pair of black gloves, two rolled up in a ball.My address book, the binding is torn.Four black pens, one leaks.One piece of mascara, two pieces of tampons, and half a pack of mints. I put one in my mouth, which can at least overwhelm the smell of alcohol.A packet of tissue paper, a packet of sugar, a beaded bracelet, three thin hair ties, that's of no use to me now.A comb and a small mirror.At this time, a small piece of tinfoil fell to the floor, and I picked it up, only to find that it was not tinfoil but a silver-white packaging bag, which could hold two pills, but one of the pills had been taken out.I brought it up to the light to see the words printed on the package, and then installed Levonelle, 750 metric silk ingots, and the ingredient was levonorgestrel.I have an eerie urge to pop another white round lozenge into my mouth and see what happens.

Of course, I didn't do that.I made a cup of tea, called Sheila and Guy, and got an answering machine.I told them I won't be going back tonight but really appreciate everything they do and I'll be in touch with them soon.I put on my leather coat, put the key and the pills in the inner pocket, and walked out the door.My car is still there, but with a plastic-wrapped ticket; tucked under snow-covered windshield wipers. I'll deal with that later.I walked slowly down Conton Street in the dark until I reached a pharmacy that was closing.I walked over to the prescription counter and a young Asian man asked if I could help. I hope I can.I don't know if you can tell me what this medicine is for.I took out the silver-white packaging bag and handed it to him. He glanced over briefly and frowned at me.Is that yours? yes, i said.I mean, no, no, not mine.Because if it was mine, I'd know, wouldn't I?I found it.I found it in my little sister's room, I just want to make sure the medicine is ok.Because, you see, one of them is missing. How old is your little sister? nine years old.I talk nonsense. Right.He put the wrapper on the counter and took off his glasses.This is emergency contraception. What? Morning pills, aftermath pills. oh.I said. You said your little sister is only nine years old? Oh my God. She should see a doctor. Uh, actually I fumbled nervously.There was another customer standing behind me, eager to hear what was to come. When do you think she took it? long time.Ten days ago, almost. He had a disapproving look on his face, and then a teasing look on his face.I think he has figured it out. Normally, he said, two pills should be taken.Take the first pill within 72 hours after intercourse, preferably as early as possible, and then take the second pill within 12 hours.So your little sister may be pregnant. I grabbed the wrapper and waved it.I'll take care of that, I promise, thank you, but I'll make sure it's okay.Thank you.I run into the street.The cold rain was still refreshing on my hot and scorching cheeks.