Chapter 22 Chapter Twenty

I know Zou is dead, I don't care what Koros says, I just know.I thought of the man's whispering voice in the dark: Kelly, Kath, Fran, Jay, Lorraine.Lorraine is Zou.She never confessed to him the name that her close relatives and friends called her, what she confessed to him was a stranger's name, so as to maintain the dignity of human nature and prevent insanity.Now he could add another name to the list he recited: Sally.Although maybe Sally didn't count for him.She was a mistake, she should have been me.I shudder.Nobody knew where I was except Carol from Jay and Jonah and Peter downstairs.Of course, there is Cross and Ben.I'm safe, I tell myself, but I don't feel safe at all.

I close the curtains in the master bedroom and listen to new messages on Zou's phone.Not much; one was a woman saying that Zou's curtains were ready and ready to go, and the other was a call from a man named Alex who said, hello, stranger, long time no see, and that he's finally back, maybe They should meet soon. I opened a letter that had arrived that morning, a letter inviting her to renew her National Geographic subscription, and I did it for her.Then I called Sadie, expecting she wouldn't be there, and left a message saying I wanted to see her soon, and that I missed her, which I found true when I said it.I left the same message on Sheila's and Guy's answering machines and sent Sam a cheerful, cryptic e-mail.I don't want to meet or talk to any of them just yet, but I want to be prepared.

I made a sandwich with avocado, bacon and mozzarella.I'm not actually hungry, but making a sandwich and then sitting on the couch munching on soft, salty bread, trying to clear my mind without thinking about anything is soothing.I found the images of being imprisoned in the dark came back to my mind: butterflies, rivers, lakes, trees, against all the ugliness and horror.I close my eyes and let them fill my mind, beautiful images of freedom.Then I heard myself say: But, where is that cat? I don't know where this problem comes from.It haunts the silent room as I ponder it.Zou has no cats.The only cat I've seen around here is Peter's downstairs, the brown-eyed tabby that once woke me up in the middle of the night and gave me the creeps.But thinking about this problem gave me a strange feeling, as if my brain was just about to move, as if a vague memory was trying to awaken my consciousness.Why do I think of cats?Because she has some cat supplies, items that I have seen but not thought of.where?I went to the kitchen, rummaged through the boxes, and found nothing.Then I thought, so I walked over to the tall cupboard next to the bathroom, where I found my vacuum cleaner and ski gear.There it was, right next to the stuffed storage bag, a litter box that looked new but maybe just scrubbed well, and an unopened six-pack of cat food.I close the cabinet door and walk back to the couch, pick up the sandwich, and put it down again.

Zou once raised cats, so what?Maybe she still had a cat and it disappeared because she couldn't feed it and pet it because she was missing.Maybe it died, like I didn't finish that sentence.Or maybe she's planning to get a cat.I went back to the cupboard and took another look at the six cans of cat food.It's for kittens, so it looks like Zou had intended to have a kitten.so what?It just adds another distressing detail.I don't know. I put on my jacket and wool cap and went downstairs into the street.I rang Peter's doorbell, and he answered the door as if he'd been watching my every move from the window.His cat was sleeping on the couch, its tail wriggling slightly.

What a surprise, he said, and I felt a pang of guilt.Tea?coffee?Maybe some sherry.Drinking sherry in this weather can warm you up. Tea is fine. Some are readily available.I just made it, in a teapot.As if I knew you were coming.No added sugar, right? right. You should have some biscuits this time, right?Although you always come and go in a hurry.I saw you rushing out and in again.You know, you should slow down. I took a digestive biscuit from the tin box he handed me.The cake had softened, and I dipped it in tea and finished it in three mouthfuls. I was wondering if I could help you get something in the store, I said.You probably don't want to go out in this weather.

That's the beginning of the end.He said. What? When people stop going out to do something.I go out three times a day.I went out early in the morning to the newsstand to buy newspapers.Go for a walk before lunch, even if it is raining or freezing like today.In the afternoon I went to the store to buy dinner. if you really need something You are kind enough to imagine for me. What's your cat's name?I gently stroked its spotted back, and its back also showed comfortable fluctuations.It opened a golden eye. patience.She was almost fourteen years old.That's an old cat for cats, you know.You are an old woman.he said to the cat.

I was wondering if Zou also had a cat? She wants to raise.She said she could also have a companion.Some people like dogs while others want cats.She's a cat girl, how about you? I am not sure.So she's planning to get one? She came to ask me where to find them, and she knew I was also a cat lover.You know, I've had cats since I was a kid. When did she come to you? Oh, a week or two ago.I think it was before you came.However, you should know. Why should I know? We discussed it together, that is, when I met you the day you moved here with big bags and small bags. that Wednesday?

You say it is.Can't you remember?She said she was going to find one. when? That afternoon, if she could find it.She seemed positive about the idea, saying she had to start changing her life, starting with a kitten or something. How do you tell her when she asks where you can find it? There are many ways to find kittens.First of all, you can see those small advertisements on newsstands and post offices.That's how most people are, isn't it?There's always something out there.I noticed a small ad when I went to buy a newspaper today.The phone on the table next to him rang and he said, "I'm sorry, dear, to excuse me.I think that should be my daughter.She lives in Australia.

He picked up the phone and I got up and put my teacup in the sink.I waved to him as I left but he didn't even look up. I want to call Ben and hear his voice.I feel safe in his house, surrounded by his warmth, but he's busy and I don't have much to say, except hello, hello, I miss you so much. It was only after four o'clock, and the sky was getting dark.Today is the kind of rainy weather, it seems that the brightness of the day can not be seen all day.I looked out the window at the street, the whole street was covered with snow due to the heavy snow a few days ago, and all the colors seemed to have faded away.

Everything in the world is black and charcoal or dark gray. Passers-by look like characters in a black and white movie, with their heads bowed. I rewrite my lost days: January 11th (Friday): Jay and Jonah had a showdown and left in anger. January 12th (Sat): Argued with Terry and left in anger.Spend the night at Sadie's. January 13th (Sun): Leave Sati in the morning and go to Sheila and Gay.Meeting Luo Bing, spending too much money on crazy big purchases.Meet Sam for a drink in the afternoon.Go back to Sheila and Guy. January 14 (Mon): with Cann.Lofting, Mr. Khan, Ben.Brody, and Gordon.Lockhart meet.Call Mott.smith.The car refuels.Meet Ben for a drink followed by a meal.Have sex with Ben.Call Sheila and Guy and say no to going back for the night.Have a great night with Ben.

January 15th (Tuesday): I went to the cafe with my class and met Zou, and my class left first.Chat with Zou and agree to move into her place.Go to Sheila and Guy and leave a note saying that the shelter has been found, take the items from there, and go to Zou's residence.Call Terry to arrange to pick up the item the next day.Book your flight to Venice for your vacation.Order Indian food delivery in the afternoon.Shooting a videotape? January 16th (Wednesday): Pick up the items from Taili and deliver them to Zou's residence.Meet up with Peter to talk about Zou's cat.Call Todd.Go out and buy bonsai.Arrive at class residence in the afternoon.Hey no condoms.Go back to Zou's residence. January 17 (Thursday): Call the police station to report Zou's disappearance.Take the first morning pill. I stare at this list.Zou must have disappeared on Wednesday.Go find the kitten.I wrote Kitty in all capitals and larger letters below that list, and watched dispiritedly.The phone rang, and it was Carol from Jay and Jonah. Hi Abby, she said, with enthusiasm.Sorry to bother you. It doesn't matter. I just got a weird phone call from a man asking me to send you a message. Then what?I have a dry mouth. His name is Please Shaowai, I don't know where it is written.There you have it, here it is.Gordon.lockhart.I breathed a sigh of relief.He wants your address or phone number. You didn't give it to him, did you? No, you told me you couldn't give it. Thanks.Then what? I said he can write to us and we will forward it to you.But he said he just wanted to say thank you again. oh.OK He also said that you should prune the roots every two years to keep them from growing taller.So you understand?He goes on and on about it, on and on.Prune in spring, he says, in March or April. Thanks, Carol.That's just talking about a tree.Let me know when there's any news, okay? certainly.And has your dad contacted you yet? My Father? He was probably trying to call you while we were talking. My Father? He said he wanted to find you and give you some gifts, but he didn't know where to put your new address. Did you tell him? Anyway, it's your dad. OK, I managed to stay calm.I'll talk to you later, bye. I flicked the receiver, took a few deep breaths, and then picked it up to make a call. Hello. dad?Hi, I'm Abby, is that you? Of course it is me. You called the office. What office? One or two minutes ago.You hit Jay & Jonah. Why am I calling them?I am tidying the garden.The snow crushed the orange trailing roses, but I think I can salvage them. Suddenly, my whole body felt cold, as if the sun was covered by dark clouds, and the biting cold wind poured in.You mean, you didn't call them?I said. No.I say this all the time.You haven't called in weeks.How are you doing? I opened my mouth for an answer, and then the doorbell rang, a long, steady chime.I gasp.I have to hang up.I said, jumping up.I could hear my father's faint voice on the microphone.I rushed into Zou's bedroom from the living room, grabbing the bag and key chain as I ran.The doorbell rang again, two short beeps. I fidgeted with the latches of the window, then pushed the window up and then leaned out.It's only about eight or nine feet above Peter's small, overgrown garden, but it still looks like a frightening distance, and I'd fall on the concrete.I considered going back to the living room and calling the police, but all the instincts in my head were telling me to run for my life.I climbed onto the ledge and turned around so I was on my back.I took a deep breath and jumped. I fell hard to the ground, and I could feel the force of the impact all over my body.I fell to the ground, my hands spread out, across the cold concrete floor, and then I stood up and started to run.I think I can hear a noise coming from the residence.I struggled across the overgrown, muddy lawn of my garden.My legs felt as heavy as lead as I walked through the leaf-covered humus, and I could barely move my feet, as if I were running in a dream.A nightmare of running around and getting nowhere. There was a high wall at the back of the garden, the wall was cracked, and the bricks in some places were broken and peeled off. Apurple vines as wide as water pipes climbed along the wall.I found a handhold, a foothold, and struggled to climb up.I slid down and felt the rough brick brush my cheek; try again.I could hear myself panting, or sobbing, I couldn't tell.My hands climbed to the top of the wall first, then I climbed up, one leg across first, then the other.I let go and fell into the adjacent garden, landing in pain and twisting my ankle.I struggled to my feet, and as I limped towards the path that led to the road, I saw a woman peering out a window. I don't know which direction to go.It doesn't really matter, as long as there is somewhere to go.I walked down the road, my ankles throbbing with every step, and I could feel the blood trickling down my cheeks.A bus approached a stop a few yards away, and I limped over to it, jumping on it just as it was about to pull away.I walked over to a middle-aged woman with a grocery basket and sat down, although there were other seats available.Then I turned my head and looked back.nobody. The bus drove all the way to Fuhe.I got off at Russell Square and went into the British Museum.I never went in and visited it when I grew up, it was very different from what I saw when I was young.There is a large expanse of glass roof over the patio, and the sunlight falls on me.I walked through the exhibition room full of ancient pottery and large stone sculptures, like walking around.I walked into a room lined with heavy hardcover books; some opened to brightly patterned pages, on display shelves.The light in the room is soft and silent, and if people want to talk, they speak softly.I sat there for an hour, looking at the rows of books, turning a blind eye.I left just before closing, but I knew I couldn't go home.