Chapter 21 Chapter Nineteen

We shared toast on the bed.Crumbs were strewn across the sheets, but Ben looked relaxed as he lay on the pillows, the fluff pulled up to his chin. Don't we have something to do? Ben rolled over on top of me and looked at the clock by the bed.It's interesting how quickly a person can become comfortable with other people's bodies.eighteen minutes.He said. you won't be late I'm already late.Someone is coming to meet me.He is from Amsterdam.If I didn't go, I'd be a bad person as well as being unpunctual. I kissed him.Originally, I just thought about it. You can't do this anymore, he said.Otherwise I will not be able to go.

You see, I said it like a whisper, because my face was almost on his: If I were you and you were me, I would think you were crazy, or I would be crazy.If you get my drift. You are confusing me. If someone I knew disappeared for two weeks and then reappeared and seemed to have no recollection of seeing me, I'd take that person to be completely insane or a liar.As you know, the police are divided over these two possibilities. I thought I was crazy.Then I thought you were crazy.Then I couldn't figure it out.He stroked my hair, which made me tremble with great relief.I don't know what to do, he said.I don't know how to explain it at all.I guess I thought you had to make you like me again.In any case, if I tell you, you were telegraphed by me, or at least you were in love with me.You can't remember but you really were obsessed with me that sounds out of your mind.

Your hands don't look like designers.I said. You mean my hands are rough and scratched? I like this. He looked at his hands curiously.I have a lot of products that I build by hand, and a lot of things get splattered on my hands.My hands have been scratched, hammered, bruised, but that's how I like it.My dad was a welder, he had a workshop at home, and his weekends were spent taking things apart and putting them back together.When I was a child, if I wanted to talk to him, the only way was to go to his studio and hand him a wrench or something, making my hands black and black.Generally speaking, I still enjoy DIY, and regard my father's hobby as my livelihood skill.

Not me, I said.Neither was the case with my dad or my job. You do a great job at your job, you keep things organized, and you make us all admire you. Sometimes I don't even believe in the things I do, or have done.Have you ever heard of doing a risk assessment for an office?You can do risk assessments for oil rigs or polar expeditions, but insurance companies ask for office risk assessments, so I did.In that moment I became a world-class expert on workplace injuries.Did you know that 91 office workers in the Commonwealth of Britain were injured last year by using correction fluid?I mean, how do people get hurt by correction fluid?

I know very well.Some people get their fingers on the correction fluid and then rub their eyes. Thirty-seven people were injured while using computers.How did they get hurt?A computer weighs about as much as an egg carton.I figured I could give them a risk code or two. Doesn't sound like much fun anymore.I sat up straight and looked at the clock.I think it's time for both of us to hit the road.I said. We showered together and acted like we were in heat, we just washed and wiped each other.We help each other dress.Dressing the shift is almost as exciting as stripping him naked.On the whole, it was good for him, no doubt about it.He changed into clean clothes and I was still in the clothes from the night before.I had to go back to Zou's place to change.He came up to me, ruffled my hair, and kissed my forehead.Seeing you wearing Zou's clothes is still very hairy.He said.

I shake my head.We must have the same taste, I said.This is my clothes.In fact, this shirt was what I was wearing when I was kidnapped.I thought I'd throw it in the trash or burn it but the shirt is pretty good and I don't think I'll be able to put something out of my mind just by burning a few clothes The shirt is Zou's, she bought it in Barcelona.Unless you have also bought clothes in Barcelona. you sure? I am sure. I remained silent and racked my brains.That has a meaning, that has a special meaning.But what is that? We kissed again as we stood on the doorstep.For a moment I felt inseparable.I figured I'd just follow him closely, and I'd be safe.Then I told myself not to be stupid.I have to go back to the world of horror.I said.

what are you going to do I want to go home, I mean Zou's house, and change clothes, I can't run around in this kind of virtue. I am not referring to this. I am not sure.Today or tomorrow, that man will find out that he killed the wrong man.He will start looking for me again.Maybe I'll try to find out what happened to Zou.Although I don't know if that helps.My hopes just now, lying in bed with Ben and enjoying toast, were once again in vain. Ben played with the car keys in his hand, lost in thought.I will call Zou's parents today, he said.They should be back by now.Then we start from there.

I kiss Ben.I had to tiptoe to get a kiss.This is to say thank you, I said.It also means that you don't need to take risks for me. Don't be silly, Abby.I'll call you later.He handed me a business card, and we laughed at the prim gesture.You can find me by calling these numbers. We kissed and I found his hands on my breasts.I put my hand on his.I just thought of the guy from Amsterdam.I said. I lay in the tub with a towel over my face, trying to figure out what the man was thinking.He's about to find out that I'm alive, and maybe he already knows by now.And there's another thing, which is that I made that call to my cell phone on the spur of the moment.He also had my mobile phone, which was his trophy.And I call myself Zou.Will he think I'm after him?

I put on Zou's clothes.I deliberately chose gray corduroy trousers and a cream-colored chunky-knit sweater, which looked very different from what I usually wear.Abby.Deborah will have to pass away for a while, and I will be one of the millions struggling in London.How is he going to find me?But then again, how do I find him? Then I did what I should have done a long time ago: I picked up the phone and dialed from memory, and Terry's father answered.Who?He said. Richard, this is Abby. Abby.His tone was polite but cold. Yeah, listen, I know it's going to be tough right now you know?

Yes.I feel bad for Terry too. Hearing you say that is really kind and righteous. Has he been released? No, not yet. I just want to say that I know it's not him and I will do my best to help.Perhaps you can raise this with his lawyer. very good. I'll tell you my phone number.Oh no, I'll call again, or call Terry when he gets back.okay? very good. After a while of silence, we said goodbye to each other. I stood in the middle of Zou's master bedroom and looked around. It was like looking for something and starting to look where I already looked.Worse, I don't know what I'm looking for.A diary might be helpful, and I can find out if she has any plans.But I have searched through her desk, and there is no manuscript of that kind.I walked around and picked up some items from the shelf and put them back.There was a potted plant on the shelf by the window, and my mother should be able to identify what it was, she would know the Latin name.But even I could tell the plant was brown and the soil was hard and cracked.I watered the poor plant with a cup of water scooped up from the kitchen, and the water trickled into the cracked crevices.That's another question too, isn't it?A responsible grown woman like Zou would go on vacation and let the plants die?I also watered the banyan tree.

All the evidence I could find was like a mirage, shimmering in mid-air and disappearing when I reached out to grab them.I used to live here, and it's possible that she's on vacation and staying with me, and she probably takes it for granted that I'll be watering her plants. I looked at the stack of letters I had opened and filtered, looking for some helpful clues.I flipped through it quickly, trying to find more reasonable clues.An envelope caught my attention.That's the gas bill I haven't paid; I've run out of money.There is that kind of transparent square on the envelope, you can see the address and name inside L.Zou.Amber couldn't help snorting in surprise.I found out Ban's business card almost as if in a dream, and dialed his cell phone.He seemed to be busy when he answered, a little absent-minded, but when he heard my voice, his tone softened accordingly.That made me happy, not only a smile appeared on my brows, but also a hint of warmth welled up in my heart. I felt like a fourteen-year-old girl obsessed with the girl of her dreams.Do you have a crush on someone you just spent spring night with? What is Zou's Christian name? What? I know that's a stupid question.But I'm looking at one of her bills, and it has her initials on it, with an L in front of Zou, what's that for? I heard a chuckle on the other end of the phone.Lorraine, he said.It's movie star Lorraine.Bai Kaoer, that Lorraine.People often use this name to make fun of her. Lorraine, I repeat in a daze, my legs trembling.I had to lean against the wall to keep from going limp.Kelly, Kath, Fran, Jiaer, Lorraine. What? That man, he had read a string of names of women he had killed.Lorraine is one of them. But there was a long silence.maybe a coincidence Lorraine?It's not even in the top ten list of common names. I have no idea.Some of the top 10 most common names today are pretty outlandish.Another problem is that she doesn't use that name at all, she hates it. I muttered something to myself so that Ben had to ask me what I was talking about.Sorry, I was just saying that I probably know how she feels.Maybe she'd uttered that name to him because it was her way of refusing to be defeated.It wasn't her that he was humiliating and frightening, Zou, but another person, her pre-public self. I hung up the phone and forced myself to think what the man said about Lorraine?Kelly would cry, Jay would pray, and Lorraine?Lorraine resisted to the death, and Lorraine didn't last long. I gagged.I know she is dead. Jack.When Koros heard my voice, his tone did not soften, but became gloomy and tired. Oh, Abby, he said.How are you? Her name is Lorraine.I said, trying not to cry. What? Zou.Her Christian name is Lorraine.Can't you remember?Lorraine was one of the women he killed. I forgot. Doesn't that have any special meaning? I will record it. I also told him about the clothes, the Zou dress I had worn.He seems cautious. That doesn't necessarily mean anything special, he said.We already know that you live in Zou's residence.What's all the fuss about you wearing her clothes? I looked at Zou's corduroy trousers and cried out.Really, what kind of evidence do you think is enough? I heard a sigh on the other end of the phone.Abby, trust me, I'm on your side, in fact I was just going through that file a few minutes ago, and I even assigned a colleague to take care of this.We haven't forgotten you.But let me answer your question first. What I need is the kind of evidence that can convince people who didn't believe you.He said. Well, you'll have proof to fuck you, I said.You wait and see. I wanted to hang up the phone abruptly but it was a cordless phone that couldn't be hung up with force, so I had to press the end button with all my might. Oh, Abby, Abby, Abby, you idiot, idiot.I moaned to myself mockingly.