Chapter 7 clang clang

thanks. I would like to ask you something, which has troubled me for a long time. I am twenty-six years old.Born in Teramachi, Aomori City.You probably don't know, there is a small flower shop called TOMOYA next door to Qinghua Temple in Teramachi.I, the second son of the store owner, was born there.After graduating from middle school in Aomori, he went on to become a clerk in a munitions factory in Yokohama. After working there for three years, he lived in the army for another four years. When he declared his unconditional surrender, he returned to the hometown where I was born. It was burned, and the father, brother and sister-in-law built a simple hut on the original site of the burned ruins and lived there till now.And my mother passed away when I was in the fourth grade of middle school.

As a result, it would be quite difficult for my father, brother and sister-in-law if I were to squeeze into the hut on the abandoned site again. After discussing with my father and brother, I decided to go to the village about two miles away from Aomori City. , working in branch A of the third-class post office located in the seaside tribe.This post office is owned by my late mother's natal family. The head of the post office is my mother's elder brother. Logically speaking, I should call him uncle.Unknowingly, I have been working here for more than a year, and day after day, I feel that I am gradually becoming a lackluster person, which is really distressing.

I started reading your novel when I was working as a clerk in a munitions factory in Yokohama.Ever since I read your short stories in the "Style" magazine, I will look for your works to read, and I have developed such a habit unconsciously. After reading a lot of your works, I know that you are the senior of my middle school , and further learned that you once lived in Toyota's house in Aomori-cho when you were in junior high school.Old memories can't help but churn in my heart.Mr. Toyoda, who owns a kimono shop, lives in the same block as ours, so I know him quite well.Mr. Taizaemon of the previous generation was very fat, which is very suitable for the name of Taizaemon (a famous sumo wrestler in the Edo period). However, Mr. Taizaemon of the present generation is thin but energetic, which makes people want to call him Yu Zaemon (a famous kabuki performer from the Taisho era to the pre-war Showa era).However, they are all very nice people.Mr. Toyota's home was completely burned down during the air raid, and even the warehouse was burned down.What a pity.When I learned that you had lived in Toyota's house, it made me want to entrust the contemporary Mr. Tazaemon to write a letter of introduction to you, and then visit you at home, but I am a coward after all, I can only dream and dare not Really put it into action.

During that period, I served in the army and was stationed in Chiba Prefecture to participate in coastal defense works. Until the end of the war, my daily job was to dig trenches non-stop. Even so, as long as I have half a day off, I will go to the street to find you works to read.I wanted to write to you several times, but when I picked up the pen, I only wrote the word "Bai Qi", and then I didn't know how to continue. First, I have nothing to say, and second, to you, I am just a stranger Strangers, so I can only pick up my pen and be confused alone.Finally, Japan announced its unconditional surrender. I also returned to my hometown and worked at the post office A. Recently, I went to Aomori and looked around at the bookstore in Aomori, looking for your works. From your works, I learned that you were also affected by the disaster And when I returned to Kanekicho, the hometown of my birth, my heart once again churned with turbulent waves.However, I suddenly lost the courage to visit you. I have considered a lot, and finally, I decided to write this letter to you.This time I didn't get stuck after writing the thanksgiving, because I do have something to say, and it's a matter of urgency. (①The current city of Goshogawara, Aomori Prefecture, is also the place where Osamu Dazai was born.)

There is something I would like to ask you. I have really been troubled by this for a long time, and I hope to get an answer.Moreover, I feel that this is not just my problem, other people have similar distress.Please guide us in the maze!No matter in the Yokohama factory or in the army, I always wanted to write a letter to you, but I never thought that the first letter to you would have such a joyless content. At noon on August 15th, Showa 20, we gathered in the square in front of the military dormitory and listened to what was said to be His Majesty’s Yuyin broadcast②, but in fact it was a broadcast that could not hear anything except noise.After that, a young lieutenant stepped onto the podium with clanging steps. (②Emperor Hirohito made a speech to the people of the whole country through the radio, officially announcing the surrender of Japan's infinite pieces.)

Did you hear that?do you understand?Japan accepts the Potsdam Declaration and has surrendered.But that is a political matter. As soldiers, we must continue to fight the war to the end no matter what. In the end, no soldiers will be left and all will be self-determined in order to thank your lord.Of course I will lead by example, everyone should also have this awareness, do you hear me clearly?Alright, let's disband! After saying this, the young lieutenant stepped off the podium and took off his glasses, wiping tears as he walked.The so-called seriousness refers to the atmosphere.I stood where I was, and the surrounding scene became blurred and dim. A gust of cold wind came from nowhere, and I felt my body sinking into the ground naturally.

I thought, then die.Think about the reality of death coming.The forest ahead was silent and pitch black.A flock of small birds flew up from the top of the mountain, scattered into the air like a handful of sesame seeds, and flew away soundlessly. Ah, at this moment, from the army dormitory behind me, I don't know who is beating the hammer, and there is a faint clang and clang sound.As soon as I heard that voice, in an instant, I felt scales fall from my eyes③, the tragedy and solemnity of the war disappeared in an instant, as if something attached to me was scattered.In a blink of an eye, my mood became clear, as if I was overlooking the desert at noon in summer, my eyes were blank, and no matter how much emotion I had in my heart, it was gone. (③The words come from the New Testament "Acts of the Apostles". Saul was touched by God and turned into Paul. He was filled with the Holy Spirit and Paul laid his hands on him and prayed. It seemed that scales fell off his eyes.)

Next, I was busy stuffing a lot of items into my backpack, and then I returned to my hometown in a trance. That, the distant, faint sound of the hammer, has incredible beauty, completely peeling off the illusion of militarism in my heart, and no longer need to indulge in tragic and serious nightmares.But that small sound was like a bullseye piercing through my brain. From then until now, I seem to be suffering from a strange and unpleasant epilepsy. The sound of the hammer has always been lingering in my mind. Not really any violent seizures.On the contrary, whenever I feel touched by something and my spirit is uplifted by it, the faint sound of clanging and hammering hammers will reach my ears from nowhere.So in the blink of an eye, the scenery in front of you suddenly changed, like a movie that stopped abruptly in the middle of the show, leaving only a pure white screen. You looked at the screen carefully, but there was nothing in it, like a dream bubble, everything lost its meaning.

At first, the reason why I came to this post office was that I could freely study what I wanted to learn outside of work.First of all, maybe I can write a novel and send it to you for advice after finishing it. That’s what I thought at the time. When I was working in the post office, I tried to write articles reminiscing about my military career. I put a lot of effort into it and accumulated nearly A hundred sheets of manuscript paper.Seeing an autumn evening that can be completed today and tomorrow, after getting off work from the post office, I went to the public bathhouse to take a bath. While taking a bath in the pool, I was thinking about the last chapter to be written next. "④ How about such a gorgeous and sad ending?Or is it a desperate ending like Gogol's "The Two Quarreling Ivans"?While excitedly conceiving, I looked up at the light bulbs hanging under the high ceiling of the public bathhouse. At this moment, I heard clang, clang, and the sound of hammer knocking from a distance.As a result, the tide receded in an instant, and he suddenly realized that he was just a naked, boring man soaking in the dark corner of the bathhouse, fiddled with the waves of the bath. (④Alexandr Sergyeevich Pushkin, the father of Russian literature, the first novel from romanticism to realism. ⑤Nikolay Vasilievich Gogol, a master of Russian satirical literature.)

These thoughts were so trivial that I climbed out of the bath, and while washing the dirt off my feet, I listened to the conversations exchanged among the other guests entering the public bath.Whether it is Pushkin or Gogol, it is like a brand of toothpaste imported from a foreign country, without any special meaning.Walked out of the public bath, crossed the bridge, returned home and ate dinner silently, then went back to his room, flipped through nearly a hundred sheets of manuscript paper on the desk, was overwhelmed by the extremely boring content, and even tore up their pages. I have no strength, so I have to use them to blow my nose in the future.I haven't written a single line of fiction since.

From the only books in my uncle's collection, I would occasionally borrow a collection of masterpieces and novels from the Meiji and Taisho eras to read. Falling asleep early in the snowy night, living a life without spiritual life.During that period, I read books such as "The Complete Works of World Art". I used to love the French Impressionist paintings, but now I can't see what is so good about them. It is the Japanese Genroku era⑥Ogata Korin⑦ and Ogata Ganzan⑧ The work of the two of them made my eyes light up. (⑥ From 1688 to 1704, known as the Genroku era in history, it was the most prosperous period of non-samurai citizen culture in Japan. The rise of the middle class led to the development of culture and art. Ukiyo-e was also widely Popular.⑦Ogata Korin, a painter and craftsman, founded the decorative painting style later known as the Rin School.⑧Ogata Mitsuyama is the younger brother of Ogata Mitsubayashi, and his works, whether it is pottery or calligraphy and painting, all reveal Zen and literati-style free and easy .) I think Korin's paintings of cuckoos and the like are better than those of Cézanne, Monet, Gauguin and others.In this way, I regained awareness of the so-called spiritual life.After all, I don’t have the kind of ambition to become famous artists such as Guanglin and Ganshan, but to satisfy myself as an amateur art lover in a backcountry, doing my best from morning till night, sitting at the window of the post office and counting other people’s work. Banknotes are used to work for food and clothing.For a person with little knowledge like me, living such an ordinary life is not necessarily degenerate.There may be a so-called crown of modesty in this world.It is not known that the most noble spiritual life may be the work of conscientiously guarding one's duty on weekdays. As I thought about it, I gradually began to feel proud of my daily life. At that time, new coins were being issued, and even the third-class post offices in remote villages, small post offices like ours were short-staffed. It's a busy day.At that time, we were busy accepting deposit declarations and pasting labels on old banknotes from early in the morning. We were exhausted and had no time to rest.Besides, as my uncle's diner, if I don't seize this opportunity to repay my kindness, when will I wait?So I worked even harder until my hands were as heavy as iron gloves, and I couldn't feel the reality of the hands. (⑨At the beginning of the end of the war, the Japanese economy collapsed completely, and inflation was particularly serious. In order to stabilize the situation, the government decided to issue new paper money to replace the old money, and set a deadline for the circulation of the old money. It also forced the people to deposit the cash on hand into the bank , during the several months until the new currency is issued, only some of the labeled old currency is allowed to circulate, so as to curb the continuous expansion of inflation.) In this way, I worked hard during the day, slept like death at night, jumped out of bed when the alarm clock rang the next morning, and rushed to the post office to start cleaning.Cleaning and other work have always been done by female staff, but since the big commotion surrounding the new coin issuance, I have become a little abnormal. More than a day, most of the time he was in a semi-frenzied state like a lion advancing bravely.Finally, the hectic work of issuing new coins came to an end. I got up in the early morning and went to the post office for a round of cleaning work. After everything was cleaned, I sat down at my business window. The morning light shone straight on my face, and I squinted my sleep-deprived eyes, feeling quite content for some reason.I thought of the saying that labor is sacred, and slowly breathed a sigh of relief.At this time, I heard the clanging sound coming faintly from a distance, everything ended here, and everything became ridiculous in an instant.I stood up, went back to my room, and fell asleep on the bed with my head covered. My colleague informed me that it was time for meal. I insisted that I couldn't get up today because I was not feeling well.And that day happened to be the busiest day in the bureau, and I, the best expert at work, was sick in bed, which seemed to be a big headache for my colleagues, and I fell into a drowsy sleep all day.I said I wanted to repay my uncle's kindness, but because of my willfulness, I caused him trouble instead.So far, the whole person is like a deflated balloon, unable to do anything, and overslept the next day, sitting absent-mindedly at his business window, yawning, and leaving most of the work to the next door female staff processing.On the second and third day, I was still listless, and I completely turned into a procrastination, annoying guy, in short, an ordinary, unremarkable window salesman. Do you still feel uncomfortable? When asked by the director’s uncle, I could only answer with a faint smile: No discomfort, maybe a nervous breakdown. Yeah!Yeah!Uncle looked very pleased with himself. I thought so too.You obviously have a bad mind, and you still read those difficult and difficult books. In my opinion, for a man with a bad mind like you, it's better not to think about those complicated issues.Uncle laughed when he said that, so I could only smile wryly. This uncle should also be from a junior college, but he doesn't have the slightest aura of an intellectual. Then, (It has appeared many times in my articles, right? This is also the characteristic of men with bad brains writing articles. I didn’t expect that even I would care about this, but I wrote it unintentionally. I really can’t change it. drop) Then, I fell in love.Don't laugh at me.No, if you want to laugh, I can't help it.It’s like the medaka in the fish tank is always suspended at a height of two inches from the bottom of the tank, and if it stays there quietly, it will naturally become invisible. I also live like that, and I don’t know why When did it start, I fell into a state of love that I was ashamed to talk about. After falling in love, it is as beautiful as music seeping into the body. It is probably the clearest symptom of love syndrome.Actually unrequited love.However, I really like that woman.She is the waitress of the only small hotel in this coastal tribe, and she seems to be under twenty years old.My uncle, the bureau chief, likes to drink. Whenever there is a banquet held in the small hotel in the tribe, he will never be absent, so the uncle and the waitress are very familiar with each other.Whenever the waitress showed up on the other side of the post office window for savings or insurance, my uncle used to tease her by saying banal and not funny things to her. You look good recently. You are working hard to save money. I admire you. Have you found a good client? How boring! She replied with a really bored look on her face.It was not the face of a woman in Van Dyck's painting, it was more like the face of a nobleman in his painting.Her name is Tokita Huae.I got it from the gold book.In the past, it seemed that she lived in Miyagi Prefecture. On the address column of the gold reserve book, her previous address in Miyagi Prefecture was written, and it was crossed out with a red line, and her new address here was written next to it.The female staff in the bureau privately said that Miyagi County was devastated by the war. On the eve of unconditional surrender, she suddenly came to this tribe. It is said that she is a distant relative of the hotel proprietress. Moreover, she is said to be not very good. She is obviously still a child. , but very good at playing tricks.However, none of the evacuated people was well received by the locals. I don't believe that they will play tricks, but Miss Huajiang must have a lot of savings.Although the staff of the post office cannot disclose a person's savings status, in short, even if Ms. Huajiang was molested by the chief, she still came to deposit two or three hundred yuan once a week, and the total amount of deposits continued to increase.Is it possible to really find a so-called good customer?Although I didn't think so, but every time I stamped the receipt for the two hundred or three hundred yen she deposited, I always seemed to be a little bit excited and felt flushed. (10Anthony van Dyck, a famous Belgian painter in the seventeenth century, was good at portraiture.) However, I feel very uncomfortable in my heart. Although Ms. Huajiang is by no means a powerful person, everyone in this tribe has no good intentions for her. They give her money and then try to destroy her life in this way. Famous festival?It must be so!I even jumped up from the floor in the middle of the night thinking about it. Despite this, Ms. Huajiang still came to save money as if nothing had happened once a week. Now, not to mention blushing and heartbeat, I was almost pale and sweating because of the pain.I took the dirty stack of ten-yen bills that Miss Huajiang pretended to hand over, and counted them one by one, wishing I could tear them all up several times.Then I really want to say something loudly to Ms. Huajiang, that is the classic line of Quan Jinghua⑾'s novel: Don't be someone else's plaything even if you die! ⑿ This sentence is abrupt, but it is not a line that a rustic bumpkin like me can say, but I sincerely want to tell her that I will die and not be someone else's plaything!What is matter?What is money? (⑾Izumi Kyoka, a Japanese novelist, has a unique writing style full of different imaginations. The famous Japanese writers Akutagawa Ryunosuke and Kawabata Yasunari are all influenced by him in terms of style. ⑿From Izumi Kyoka’s novel "Song Running Lights.) Sure enough, there is still something that I can't forget.That was late May.Ms. Huajiang appeared on the opposite side of the post office window with a serious face as usual, and handed me the money and the gold savings book, saying that I am sorry to trouble you.I took it with a sigh, sadly counting the dirty banknotes one by one.After counting the amount, record the amount in the gold reserve book and silently return it to Miss Huajiang. Around five o'clock, are you free? I wondered if my ears heard it wrong, did Chunfeng send the wrong message?The words were low and fast. If you are free, please come to the bridge. As she said so, she smiled slightly, and then turned back to her serious appearance and left the post office. I looked at the clock, it was only two o'clock, and before I got off work at five o'clock, I was distracted, I didn't know what I had done, and now I can't remember it at all.It must have been turning around with a straight face. It was a cloudy day, but he said loudly to the female staff next door for no reason: Today is such a beautiful day!After the other party was stunned, he gave me an annoyed look, and I fled the scene with the excuse of going to the toilet, acting like a fool.When it was seven or eight minutes before five o'clock, I walked out of the house.I still remember that when I was walking halfway, I found that my nails on both hands were not cut. Why did this happen?To be honest, I was on the verge of crying. At the bridgehead, Miss Huajiang was standing there waiting for me.I think the skirt she is wearing seems a bit short, and you can see her slender legs exposed at a glance, which makes me a little embarrassed to look directly at her. Let's go to the beach. Miss Huajiang said with a calm expression. Ms. Huajiang walked in front, and I followed her, about five or six steps away, and walked slowly towards the sea.Although we have always maintained that distance, the pace of the two has always become quite consistent without knowing it, which puzzles me.The sky was gloomy, and there was a slight wind, which raised the sand and dust by the sea. Here, it feels so good. Miss Huajiang walked between the two large fishing boats stranded on the shore, and sat down on the sand. Come here.There is no wind when you sit down, so warm! I sat down about two meters away from where Ms. Huajiang sat with her legs stretched out. I'm sorry to ask you out on purpose.However, I can't bear it if I don't say a word.It's about my deposit, you must think it's weird, right? I also thought of this, so I answered her with a hoarse voice. Indeed, a little strange. It is only natural to think so.Ms. Huajiang said while lowering her head, and sprinkled sand on her bare legs. Those deposits are actually not my money. If it was my money, I wouldn't deposit it.Saving bit by bit, it is troublesome to death. I see, I nodded without saying a word. isn't it?The gold book actually belonged to the proprietress.However, you must keep this matter a secret, so don't tell it.Madam boss, I have a vague idea of ​​why such a thing was done, but because the inside story is too complicated, I don't want to talk about it.I feel so sad, will you believe me? Miss Huajiang smiled, and I saw a strange light flash in her eyes, which turned out to be tears. I suddenly wanted to kiss Miss Huajiang very much. If I could be with Miss Huajiang, I would do whatever it takes. People here don't have good intentions.I thought, maybe you misunderstood me, right?I wanted to make it clear to you face-to-face a long time ago.Finally made up my mind today. At this moment, there was a loud knocking sound from a nearby hut.The sound this time was not my auditory hallucination.It was Mr. Sasaki's small warehouse by the sea, and there was indeed a loud knocking sound.Clang clang, clang clang, clang clang endlessly.I stood up trembling. I see.I won't tell anyone. At this time, I found a pile of dog poop not far behind Miss Huajiang, and hesitated whether to remind her. The waves heaved slightly as if weary, and a small boat with dirty sails swayed past the shore. Well, I say goodbye. It feels like there is nothing in front of me, no matter what the deposit is, it is not something I can intervene in.That was someone else's business.Whether it is someone else's plaything or what it will become, it has nothing to do with me at all, I really have nothing to do to ask for trouble.I am hungry. Since then, Ms. Huajiang still comes to the post office to deposit money on a regular basis for about a week or ten days.Now it has become a number of thousands of yen, but I have completely lost interest.As Miss Huajiang said, whether it is the boss's wife's money, or Miss Huajiang's own money, no matter whose money it is, it has nothing to do with me. In this way, if you want to say which party is broken in love, no matter how you say it should be me, but apart from the broken love, what makes me feel even more sad is that this way of falling in love is too strange.Since then, I have returned to the status of an ordinary employee who has been muddled all day long. After entering June, I went to Aomori for business, and happened to encounter a labor demonstration on the street.Before that, I wasn't very interested in social movements or political movements or anything like that, I thought it was more of an almost hopeless thing.No matter who does it, the result is the same.As for myself, no matter what movement I participated in, in the end, I still fulfilled the desire for fame and power of those leaders, and was sacrificed as a stepping stone.Those people always have no doubts, and they justly advocate their own ideas. Just listen to my words, not only can you save yourself, but also your family, your village, your country, and even the whole world!And use exaggerated actions to emphasize your determination. It is because you did not listen to me that you are now putting yourself in misery. A man is dumped by the courtesan, dumped and dumped, and he calls out for the abolition of public prostitution, angrily beats handsome gay men, makes trouble for no reason, makes a lot of noise, makes a lot of ugly appearances, occasionally wins a medal, and then rushes home happily, triumphant Show to mother: Mom, look!Then he opened the small box of the medal to show off to his wife like offering a treasure, but the wife said coldly: "Oh, how did you get the fifth-class medal, at least you can get a second-class medal."The mood of being a husband suddenly fell to the bottom, so I decided that those who participated in some political activities and were enthusiastic about social movements all day long were all men in this semi-crazy state. Therefore, in the general election in April this year, I have always had little trust in these people, regardless of whether they shouted about democracy or anything.The Liberal Party and the Progressive Party are not elected by those old faces. Everyone seems to be completely indifferent, while the Socialist Party and the Communist Party are taking advantage of the momentum to make a big difference. Defeated ride?Like maggots attached to the corpse of unconditional surrender, the impression of such uncleanness is still difficult to get rid of.On April 10, the polling day, the uncle of the bureau chief asked me to vote for Mr. Kato of the Liberal Party. Although I agreed wholeheartedly, I left home and went for a walk by the seaside.I don't think that no matter what amazing insights they put forward on social or political issues, they can't solve the melancholy of our day-to-day life. However, I happened to see the laborers' parade in Aomori that day, and I suddenly realized that All my previous thoughts were wrong. Energetic, perhaps so to describe it.I always feel that this is a happy parade.I don't see any shade of melancholy or wrinkle of inferiority, just an exuberant energy.The young girls also held flags and sang labor songs, which made my heart surge and I couldn't help crying.Ah, how good Japan lost the war!I think for the first time in my life I saw what true freedom looked like.If this is the result of political or social movements, then human beings should prioritize the study of political and social thoughts. Also, when I was watching the parade, I gradually found my own bright road.I was convinced of this, and felt an unprecedented joy. Tears rolled down my cheeks, as if I had dived into the water and opened my eyes. The surrounding scenery was a hazy dark green. Suddenly I saw a bright red flag like red flames, ah, this scene, the vivid colors, I shed tears, and I will never forget it until I die.All of a sudden, I heard the distant sound of iron hammers coming from a distance, clang clang, everything was completely interrupted here. What the hell was that sound?It also seems impossible to simply attribute it to nothingness.The sonorous auditory hallucination, even the nothingness was completely destroyed by it. In the summer, there is a sudden wave of enthusiasm for sports among the local youths.I'm probably a bit of a pragmatist tendencies of the elderly, I always feel that these activities are meaningless, meaningless wrestling with each other naked, being thrown out and seriously injured, competing for who can run faster with a grim expression, anyway, everyone It takes more than 20 seconds to run a hundred meters, which is a waste of energy.So I never thought about participating in this kind of sports competition for youth.However, in August this year, various tribes along the coast jointly held a marathon relay race. Many young people in this county participated in this race, and our post office A also became one of the relay stations for the race.Players who start from Aomori will hand over batons with players on the next stage of the journey here.Just after ten o'clock in the morning, players from Aomori arrived here one after another. The staff in the bureau all went out to watch the fun, and only the director and I stayed in the bureau to handle some simple insurance arrangements.Not long after, I heard someone outside yelling loudly: Come!coming!I stood up from my seat and looked out the window, and saw that the contestant was going to do the so-called final sprint. His posture was very delicate, as if he was trying to cut through the air, and his hands were like frogs trying their best. Stretching out five fingers, in line with the exaggerated arc of his arms, he took a big step forward, wearing only a pair of shorts all over his body, and of course his feet were bare, his chest was raised high, his face turned upside down, showing a distressed expression, and he ran precariously. In front of the post office, the whole person groaned and fell down. here you go!come on!Someone nearby shouted, stepped forward to pick up the contestant, brought him under the window where I was, and poured a bucket of water prepared in advance on him like an empowerment. It seemed that the contestant was in an endangered state. , limp on the ground with a livid face.I looked at him, and a strange emotion came to my heart. What a pity, it seems a bit arrogant for me to make such an evaluation at the age of twenty-six.Let’s just say it’s touching. In short, I think it’s amazing to waste all my energy and go so hard to get here.Even if these people won the first prize or the second prize, no one in the world would be interested in them. Even so, they still tried their best to sprint to the finish line, which makes people feel admiration from the bottom of their hearts.Firstly, they did not realize their ideal of building a so-called cultural country through the marathon relay race; secondly, they did not obviously have no lofty ideals, but they talked about their ideals all day long in order to decorate the facade, so as to win the admiration of the world .Furthermore, I don't have the ambition to become a famous marathon runner in the future.They should be very clear in their hearts that this is just a small game in the country, and it doesn't matter whether it's time or grades.Even when they got home, they didn't expect to show it off to their family members, and they might be scolded by their father instead.Even so, I still ran hard and ran with my life.It doesn't matter if you don't get any appreciation, I just want to try to run around.This is unpaid behavior.Even young children have the desire to pick persimmons when they venture to climb trees, but this kind of marathon, where their lives are risked, lacks even this desire.It was an almost empty passion that fit the emptiness I was in at the time. I started doing pitch and catch baseball drills with my colleagues in the innings.Every time you practice, you have to practice until your whole body is exhausted, and you feel comfortable as if you have peeled off a layer of skin.However, just when I thought, yes!This is the one that suits me best, and I hear that familiar clanging sound again.That sonorous sound can repel even the vanity of enthusiasm. So, during this period, I heard more and more clanging sounds. For example, when I opened the newspaper, I was about to read the newly promulgated constitution one by one. Questions, a good proposal comes to mind, clang clang; I want to read your novel, clang clang; a fire broke out in the tribe recently, and when I was about to rush to the scene, clang clang; I had dinner with my uncle and drank some wine , I want to drink more, clang clang; think about whether I have gone crazy, clang clang; think about suicide, clang clang. The so-called life, if summed up in one sentence, what would it be? Last night, while having a drink with my uncle, I tried to ask a question in a joking tone. I don't know about life, but there is only sex and desire in the world. What an unexpected classic answer.It suddenly occurred to me that I should just become a black market dealer.However, just as I was thinking about earning 10,000 yen after becoming a black market dealer, I heard a clanging sound in my ear. Please tell me, what is this sound?And how do I escape its entanglement?Because of the sound, I actually can't move at all right now.Please be sure to reply. Allow me to tell you one last thing, that even in the middle of writing this letter, I heard clanging and clanging.It is meaningless to write such a letter. I have tried my best to survive until now, and I can only write these contents.Then, it was so boring, I started to give up on myself, thinking that what I wrote was pure nonsense.There was neither Ms. Huajiang nor any demonstrations.The rest of the matter seems to be fabricated out of thin air. However, only clang clang clang is absolutely true, the others are nonsense, and I don't have the courage to go back and reread it, so I will just send it to you. Respect. The writer who received this strange letter was unfortunately an ignorant and thoughtless man, but he still replied as follows: Bye bye. What a pretentious annoyance.I have no sympathy for people like you.Wherever you look with your eyes and fingers, you seem to stay out of the ugly situation that no matter how much you try to justify it.True thought is acquired with courage rather than with wisdom.The tenth chapter of the New Testament "Matthew" writes: Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; but fear him who can destroy both body and soul in hell.The meaning of fear here is closer to awe. If you can feel the thunderous power from Jesus' words, then your auditory hallucination symptoms should disappear.