Chapter 100 4. Last gaze

This kind of thinking has gone beyond pure nostalgia, and it is the etiquette and love that should be given to the other party who has spent the longest period of time in this life. The wife and daughter must have been disappointed with the husband and father who have not returned home for several months, but seeing them again may be the last sincerity he can show. After thinking twice, he went back to see his wife the day before he left for Karuizawa. He had called in advance and asked his wife to invite his daughter back, so when he got home, his daughter Zhijia was there, but the family didn't meet in the living room, but in the living room, feeling very strange.

Jiu Mu fidgeted as if he was in an outsider's house, and asked: Are you okay?The wife didn't answer, and asked him instead: I have entrusted a lawyer I know to handle that matter, so it's all right! Jiumu immediately knew that she was talking about divorce, but he didn't care about it anymore. Even after negotiating the conditions of the joint property distribution, Jiumu himself is no longer in this world, as long as the rest is given to his wife and daughter, He is satisfied. Jiu Mu nodded and drank the tea brought by his daughter, feeling that he had nothing to say. The daughter said that you seem to have lost weight, and he only replied that you look good, and the conversation was cut off again, and the wife took out two large paper bags.

It's autumn Hisaki saw neatly folded autumn clothes and sweaters in the bag. did you prepare for me His wife, who thought he hated him, unexpectedly prepared autumn clothes for him, and Jiu Mu was a little confused.Did she still have love for this man who was about to return to another woman, or was it a simple habit of being a wife for many years? Thanks!Jiu Mu sincerely thanked his wife for this may be the last warmth. Even so, the atmosphere was odd. Although the divorce has not yet been established, the husband has left home to live with another woman after all.Although the wife hated the husband and was indifferent to him, she still prepared autumn clothes for him.Although the daughter is angry with her selfish and willful father, she still tries to smooth things over for her parents.It's just that the mother and daughter didn't realize it. His father was already mentally prepared to die.

Although the three of them felt awkward, they didn't want to spoil the atmosphere in front of them. Jiu Mu drank another cup of tea, greeted him, pointed to the upstairs, and went upstairs to see his study. The room has not changed at all from when I left home in early summer this year. The lace curtains are drawn, the position of the pen holder and the unused handbag are left intact in their original positions, and a thin layer of dust has accumulated on the table. Jiu Mu went downstairs after smoking a cigarette in nostalgia, and told him his intention to go. The wife was a little surprised, but had no intention of keeping him, and the daughter looked at them in turn worriedly.

I take this away. Jiu Mu picked up the paper bag containing the autumn clothes, stood in the porch, and looked back at his wife and daughter. then goodbye He originally wanted to say that he was sorry for causing you so much trouble, but when he was about to leave his mouth, he suddenly felt boring, so he just looked at their mother and daughter and said in a low voice: Take care of yourself! I wanted to speak as if nothing had happened, but I felt sad first, lowered my eyes and opened the door, and my daughter Zhijia shouted not to leave behind. He turned his head and saw his wife turned her face away, while Zhijia was staring at him with a crying expression.

He stared at these two faces for the last time, said goodbye in his heart again, and stepped out the door.When he walked to the street, he looked back again. There was no sign of the mother and daughter chasing them out, and the entrance was as silent as an unoccupied house. On the second day after returning to Setagaya's house, Hisaki and Rinko left Tokyo together. Finally, they are about to embark on a death journey for the two of them. I imagine that it is like looking at everything in this world for the last time. I am somewhat attached to the room in Shibuya where I lived for a short period of time, and the bustling Tokyo, but I will not blindly feel sentimental.

let's go! Urged by Rinko's loud voice, Jiu Mu walked out of the room. It's autumn, and Rinko is wearing a camel-colored suit and a hat of the same color; Hisaki is wearing a light brown jacket and brown trousers from his wife, and is carrying a travel bag. From the eyes of others, this loving couple with a slight age gap seems to be going on a trip for two or three days. Hisaki drove the car through the city center and onto the Kan-Etsu Expressway. This was the last moment they were in Tokyo, and Jiu Mu was full of this idea. After receiving the expressway toll receipt, Rinko held it in his hand and whispered: This is our one-way ticket.

Indeed, all you need is a one-way ticket for the journey to death. Let's go to paradise! Rinko deliberately said half-jokingly, but her eyes were straight ahead. Jiu Mu held the steering wheel and whispered Paradise. Rinko seems to have believed that the afterlife is a paradise where their love will last forever. Adam and Eve, who were expelled from the Garden of Eden for eating the forbidden fruit, now want to return to Paradise.Even though they were tempted by the snake to betray God, but after all they ate the forbidden fruit, could they really return to Paradise now?Jiu Mu doesn't have this kind of self-confidence, but even if he can't go back, he doesn't have any dissatisfaction, because they are in the dirty world now, because they have eaten the forbidden fruit of sex, if they are knocked down from the sky, he also wants to enjoy it Died of lusting after sex.

Both of them fulfilled the greatest wish in the world to their heart's content. At this moment, Rinko is dreaming magnificently, only wishing to die at the pinnacle of love.Jiu Mu doesn't know whether the prospect of dream is magnificent, but he feels that if he lives so long, he may not have a better life. At this moment, dying at the culmination of joy in such a deep love for Rinko, as long as this is true, he can embark on a one-way journey of love with Rinko without any doubts. When he came to Karuizawa in autumn, Hisaki somehow remembered the prelude to "The Wind Rises" by Tatsuo Hori.

Suddenly in the afternoon of that day, the wind came from nowhere. The vaguely remembered article begins with a line from Paul Valerie. The wind is blowing, and live on! The wind blowing does not necessarily mean autumn, but the overall feeling of the text is full of autumn style. But the meaning of living may not be in line with them who are heading towards death. It's just that in the words of this chant, there is a more peaceful outlook than vitality, or the mature autumn breath of gazing at life and death. It was this autumn moon when the two arrived in Karuizawa, and the autumn wind was sometimes in the silent woods.