Chapter 18 Eighteenth psychological consultation

On the way to your clinic, I passed a bulletin board and was intrigued by a poster for a concert.I was looking at an ad for the concert and was about to take a sip of coffee when I noticed that a flyer underneath was covered and only partially exposed.I thought it looked familiar, so I took out the flyer that was pressed underneath, but I didn’t expect, damn it, doctor, my face is printed on the flyer, my face is on the bottom of the photo, and the missing real estate agent is written.I was dumbfounded for a long time, until a drop of something fell on my hand, and I realized that I was crying.

Maybe I should post another flyer: still missing.That smiling face belonged to me before, not me now.The photos on the leaflet must have been provided by Luke.That photo was taken on our first Christmas together, and he had just sent me a beautiful card, and I looked up at him and grinned happily.The hand holding the hot coffee was shaking like ice. I threw the flyer into the trash can outside the clinic, but I still had the urge to go back and pick it up.What to do with it, only God knows. After being stunned by the leaflets, my mood is relatively stable now. I should really talk about the list you suggested I write.I finally sat down the other day and made a list of all the people around me just as you said.Yes, Miss Floyd, I did try your idea.You can't just sit there all day and be scared to do nothing by the incident of breaking into the empty door, right?

What I was muttering in my head was something like: My car is parked in the driveway, the thief must have seen me take Emma out.How long has he been watching my house?How many days?How many weeks?How many months?Are you still watching?What if it's not a thief? For the next hour, I kept cursing myself as an idiot. The policeman was right.However, there was another small voice in my heart.Someone is watching you right now.As soon as you relax, he will come to deal with you.You can't trust anyone. As I said, you can't be scared to do nothing, right? List Luke, Christina, Mom, Wayne, cousin Tammy, cousin Jason, Aunt Val, Uncle Mark starting from my closest relatives, and then indicate next to the name The reason why these people want to hurt me.I feel like a complete idiot when I write why, because of course I can't write why.

Next, I list all the former clients, co-workers, and boyfriends I've ever had.I've never been taken to court, and the only realtors I might have had a grudge against were the so-called mystery realtors.This guy was the only one fighting over the apartment complex with me when I was kidnapped.In addition, in the emotional world, although I have broken the hearts of a few people, I have never done a bad thing worthy of a gentleman's revenge, and it is not too late for three years.I even wrote about two of Luke's ex-girlfriends at the beginning of our relationship, and one of them couldn't let go of him, except, well, she moved to Europe before I was kidnapped.I also write the pervert and write it as dead next to it.

I sat at my desk and stared at this nonsensical list for the same reasons: robbed the house my opponent wanted to sell, didn't return this guy's calls, couldn't sell that guy's house fast enough, borrowed his CD and didn't return it .When I used my brain to imagine these people ambushing outside my house or breaking into the empty door in order to deal with me, I shook my head and laughed at my nerves. Of course, it was just a thief breaking into the empty door, so it goes without saying that it was probably a drug addiction attack by a teenager who wanted to steal money to buy drugs to relieve his addiction.Since he was scared away by the siren, he will not break into the empty door again in the future.

Wow, as silly as it was to make this list, thankfully I followed your advice and even got a good night's sleep in bed that night.By Saturday afternoon, when Luke came over to install the bookkeeping software, I was fully prepared. When choosing clothes, I wanted to go casual but not casual, digging out a pair of beige pocket work pants and a periwinkle blue T-shirt from the box of clothes that Christina sent.I kind of want to wear my jogging outfit again and deliberately leave the house unorganized, but I look in the mirror and I'm okay with it. I'm not in the mood for a haircut yet, so just wash it and tie it in the back.I finally put on a few kilos and never thought being fat would be a good thing and my face has plumped up a lot too.

Do you want to wear makeup?I hesitated for a long time.When I was hospitalized, my mother gave me a bag of cosmetics, but unfortunately I didn't like the color and brand.Even if I liked her make-up, even if I didn't hear the pervert inside me saying that only whores wear makeup, I wouldn't want to draw more attention to my face.I end up with just mascara, moisturizer, and a light pink lip balm.Even if I am not as good as I used to be, I definitely look better than without makeup. Luke, on the other hand, beamed when I answered the door.He must have just come off work, because his burnt orange shirt and black suit pants accentuate his warm olive skin and the amber gleam in his brown eyes.

Emma came running, wagging her tail at Ye's feet.I responded with a barely audible hello to his hi, then backed away, let him in, and just stood there in the lobby.He raised his hand, as if he wanted to touch me, and it seemed that he wanted to pull me over to hug me, but he put his hand down again.The first two times he tried to touch me, but he failed. It's not surprising that he has this reaction now. He knelt down to touch Emma.She looks better, doesn't she?I wanted to bring Diso with me, but I don't know if it will bother you too much. I said to the top of his head: I am not a person with a disability.

Didn't say you were.He maintained his squatting position and looked up at me with a smile.How about installing this software together?By the way, you look great too. I stared straight at him, my cheeks growing warm.He bared his teeth and grinned.I turned around quickly and almost stepped on Emma and fell.I said: Come into my office. The next hour flew by as he taught me how to install it and the two of us tried out the software together.I love learning new things and it's nice to be able to focus on something other than him. Even sitting next to me makes me want to repel him.He explained part of the software, and suddenly I blurted out: Didn't you see me leave the supermarket once?I saw a girl beside me, so I hurried away.

annie i The day you came to see me in the hospital, you were so nice to me, you gave me that bouquet of flowers, and you gave me that golden retriever plush toy, but unfortunately I really can't accept you, accept anything.Later I asked the nurse to tell you that the hospital only allows relatives and doctors to visit.I hate myself for doing that, and you're so good to me, you've always been so good to me, and I'm so Annie, I was late for dinner the day you were kidnapped. I've never heard of that. The restaurant was so busy, I forgot the time and I didn't even call you at the end of the open house as usual.Later, half an hour after the appointment time with you, I called you on the way to your house, but you didn't answer, I just thought you were angry.When I arrived at your house, I didn't see your car. I thought you were busy with clients and couldn't leave, so I went home and waited.I waited an hour and you still didn't call back, so I went to the open house show you mentioned.He took a deep breath.I saw your car parked in the driveway, oh my god, and then I saw your stuff on the wall table and I called your mom right away.

The person who urged the police to take it seriously turned out to be my mother.She went to meet Luke at the police station and tried to reason with the officer on duty, saying that I would never break an appointment with my boyfriend.When I opened a house for sale, I used to put the bag in the cabinet for safekeeping. The police went to the empty house to search for evidence and found the bag. My mother was there at the time.Since there was no sign of a fight at the scene, the prime suspect at the beginning of the investigation was naturally Luke. After a few weeks, after closing every night, I started drinking at restaurants to soothe my sorrows. But you rarely I did a bunch of stupid things back then, things I could never do. I wondered what foolishness he was referring to, but he blushed in embarrassment, so I had to say: don't blame yourself too much.If it were me, I would probably be more decadent than you.Do you still drink a lot now? After a few months, I knew I was addicted, so I quit.At that stage, most people think you are dead.I think you're still alive, but everyone else assumes you'll never be found again, and I'm always sulking at you.I know there's nothing rational about that anger, but I did think you were somewhat responsible at the time.I never told you one thing I didn't like when you opened your house, so I used to call you after work.Your personality is open and friendly, which some men might get wrong. But, Luke, that's my job.aren't you friendly at the restaurant The problem is, I'm a boy.During those days, I had some knots in my heart that I couldn't open.I'm getting a little over the top. Emma put her head between us, breaking the tension.We touched her a few times, and then I asked her, where is the ball?She ran to find it. I went on two or three dates with that girl you saw, but I kept talking about you and the kidnapping, so I knew I wasn't over you.What I'm trying to say is, Annie, I'm just as confused as you are now and we're both changed.But I do know one thing for sure, I still have you in my heart, and I like the feeling of being by your side.I just wish I could be of more help to you.You said before that I can bring you a sense of security. He made a lonely smile. You do make me feel safe, but no one can make me feel safe right now.This problem is up to me to solve. He nodded and said: I can understand. OK, then teach me how to use this crappy program. He laughed. After about twenty minutes, he finished teaching, and I was hesitating whether to keep him for dinner, and he said he wanted to go back to the restaurant.When he reached the door, he took a step towards me, hesitated for a second, then raised his eyebrows, and raised his hands only slightly.I leaned against him and he hugged me in his arms.At first I felt bound and wanted to break free, but then I pressed my nose into his shirt, inhaling the smell of the restaurant oregano, freshly baked bread, garlic.Smelling him feels like friends sharing dinner, lingering, drinking too much wine, countless laughter, and a breath of happiness. He buried his mouth in my hair and said: It's good to see you, Anne.I nodded, and when the two slowly left, I lowered my head, blinked hard a few times, and dared to raise my head after forcing back the tears.What I wondered afterwards was, if I kept him, would he be willing to have dinner with me?On the one hand, I regretted that I didn't do anything to persuade him to stay, and on the other hand, I was glad that I didn't have to listen to his decline. These two feelings just offset each other.I used to be quick to make decisions, but since I hacked the pervert, I've become an indecisive person.I remember reading that if a bird is kept in a cage for a long time, if the owner deliberately opens the door of the cage one day, the bird will not fly away immediately.I was puzzled by this before. After the pervert died, I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep until my breasts were sore that I woke up.The milk still kept pouring out to kill it.The first thing I noticed was that I was holding a bunch of keys.When I fell asleep, I held the key tightly, and there were uneven marks on the palm of my hand.When I first woke up, I was bleary-eyed and confused. First, I didn’t know why the key was in my hand. Second, I was worried that a pervert would find me taking the key, so I quickly let go.The keys fell on the bed and jingled, shaking my sleeping bugs away.he died.I hacked him to death. My bladder urged me to go to the bathroom, but I checked my pocket watch and saw that I had to wait another ten minutes.I couldn't wait and wanted to go up to see it, but the bladder didn't obey.After ten minutes, success. On the way back to bed, my legs brushed against the blanket on the baby basket.I took the blanket and pressed it to my face, inhaling the last of her scent.My daughter is still out there alone.I must find her. I put on my white dress, dampened two cloths with cold water, tucked them into my bra as pads, found a pair of slippers, and went out.I went back to the river and searched back and forth on both banks until the road was blocked by woods or cliffs before looking back.From a distance, as long as I see a baby-sized light-colored rock, my breathing will immediately stop, and it will resume normal breathing when I get closer.There was a piece of cloth wrapped around a tree in the middle of the river. I saw that my knees were weak, and I waded closer only to find that it was just a rag.Since I couldn't find her by the river, I carried out a carpet search in the open area, looking for signs of loose soil, but unfortunately found nothing. The soil in the vegetable garden around the hut is relatively soft, and I even dug with my bare hands and buried the baby's corpse in the vegetable garden planted by myself. This kind of thing can only be done by insanity.Aren't perverts exactly this kind of people?I also crawled under the porch to check.No.The only place I haven't searched is the studio. The bright summer sun baked the tin workshop all morning. When I opened the door, I was greeted with the stench of corpses that had begun to rot, which made me sick.I took a gasoline-smelling rag from the task chair, held it under my nose, and breathed through my mouth as I tiptoed over his body.The flies that had hitchhiked in yesterday with the corpse were buzzing around the tarp at a decibel level that hit the generator. Shaking my hands, I dug out everything in the freezer.She wasn't there, and there were only lanterns, batteries, kerosene, and rope on the shelves.I found a secret door that led to a staircase leading to the cellar storage room.The cellar smelled dank, but fresh compared to the stench above.The cellar was just canned goods, household items, a first aid kit, some boxes.There was a coffee can with some bills in it, tied in a pink scrunchie.I hope the hostess of the hair ring is not caught in the hands of the devil.It wasn't a lot of money, so I guess he had somewhere else to hide it.I missed his wallet when I was looking for the keys, and I didn't find it in the cupboard in the shed, but looking back, I never saw him with one.There's one key in the bunch that won't fit in any of the locks, and I hope it's the van key.The van must be hidden away, maybe his wallet is in the car. In the wooden box I found a rifle and a pistol, and some ammunition.I looked down dumbfounded.On the day I was kidnapped, I never saw the gun against me. I only saw the butt of the gun protruding from his belt, and then the feeling of the muzzle poking my back.Next to a rifle, this pistol looks small, but I hate both guns equally.One of them killed my mallard, and the other led me into this hell on earth.I unknowingly reached out to touch the place on the back of my waist where the muzzle was pressed against.I close the wooden box lid and push the box behind the other stuff. Every time I opened a box, I was always worried that I would find the baby's corpse, and I was afraid of seeing her stored in it. The pervert even marked the practice samples in neat handwriting.Fortunately not.When I opened the last box, there was only my yellow suit, and all my photos and newspaper advertisements.When I opened the box, I smelled my own faint perfume, picked up the soft suit, and put my nose on it.I wore my suit jacket over my dress, but it felt strange as if I was wearing a dead man's relic.I put the suit back in the box, taking only the photo I thought I had stolen from the company, and crawled out of the cellar. The only place that hadn't been searched was the forest surrounding the clearing, so I took a few sips of cold water and took an old backpack I found in the cellar, filled it with first aid supplies and a few high protein bars, and filled a thermos water with.I was about to leave when I saw the photo on the counter next to the baby blanket and pajamas.I added the photo to the treasure in my backpack. Not long after stepping into the forest on the right side of the hut, the sounds of the gurgling river and the singing of wild birds that were usually concentrated in the open space gradually faded away, leaving only the sound of my footsteps on the limp fir needles on the ground.That afternoon, I climbed over countless toppled tree trunks, and burrowed under countless tree trunks. When I saw a slightly raised mound, I dug and sniffed the air for the rotten smell.With the hut as the center, I moved to the depths of the forest for no more than fifteen minutes, and gradually moved towards the highest points around the open space to conduct a carpet search. At last I came to the highest point, and found a narrow path leading into the forest at the edge.Both sides of this path are covered with North American white pearl trees and hoof ferns, and the route is vague. Only a few nicks left by the machete on the trunk can be used to distinguish the direction of progress.There are a few towering trees, probably Douglas pine, with a trunk diameter of one or two meters and a thick layer of moss on the surface, indicating that this is a rainforest climate.I might still be on Vancouver Island. I turned around and took one last look at the clearing, praying that the clearing was heaven and praying with the most devout heart, and I hoped that my daughter could join my dad and sister. Walking down the path, I saw a small gap between the trees in the distance.After walking for another five minutes, I walked out of the forest and onto a gravel road with holes in it.It has been in disrepair for a long time and lacks wheel tracks. I judge that this road has been deserted for a long time.I was standing by the gravel road, and there was something bright in the forest directly opposite, but I looked carefully, but couldn't find it.I walked out of the trail and saw it again only halfway across the gravel road. About three meters ahead, the curb was slightly concave to the right. I walked over and found that the hollow was the start of another trail, which branched off from the gravel road.The path was only slightly wider than a truck and was overgrown with weeds unnoticed by gravel drivers.After the path turned, it ran parallel to the gravel road, and the forest between the two roads was about six meters thick.The bright light I saw just now may be just an illusion caused by the light, or it may be debris, because some unscrupulous residents on the mountain like to litter. I continued to walk on the path, and found a small bone, and my heartbeat and footsteps stopped at the same time.I scanned step by step and found another one, but it was too big to be a baby bone.Going on for a few more steps, I almost tripped over a deer bone. I followed the path until I was finally blocked by a wall of dead lupine bushes and branches.Underneath the dead branch was a piece of metal that reflected the sunlight.I hurriedly pushed aside the dead branches, and what came into view was the rear of the van. I rummaged through the front glove box, but couldn't find my wallet or registration papers, not even a map.I looked back from between the seats and noticed a lump in the dim back. I touched it back and it turned out to be the gray blanket that he used to kidnap me. The rough feel of the wool blanket and the smell of the van were all too familiar to me.I put down the blanket as if it were on fire, and spun forward, trying not to recall what happened in the back of the van, concentrating on turning the keys.The car doesn't start. I hold my breath and try again.Start it, please.Start it, please.There was no movement again.The van was like an oven, and I was sweating profusely.The skirt of the dress was pulled up, and my legs were glued to the plastic seat.I rest my forehead on the hot steering wheel, take a few deep breaths to stabilize my morale, and lift the hood.I immediately checked that the battery cable was torn off. After reconnecting it by hand, I started it again to see.This time, the engine started immediately and the radio started playing country songs.I haven't listened to music in a long time, and I laughed when I heard it.As the host speaks, I hear: No commercials for an hour, keep listening.The host did not report the station location.I tried to turn the channel, but found that the dial would just idle. I shifted into reverse gear, backed out of the small path, crushed a few small saplings, and then aimed at a relatively large gravel road and rushed straight out.The gravel road hadn't been groomed for a while and was full of potholes, so I slowed down the descent.After driving for about half an hour, the tire finally touched the asphalt road.About twenty minutes later, the asphalt road straightened out. Finally my nose caught the familiar sea breeze mixed with the sulfur smell of the pulp mill.The car came to a small town. I stopped at a red light and noticed a coffee shop on the left. The smell of bacon wafted into the open car window, arousing my craving.The pervert said bacon would make me fat and never let me eat it. The one sitting by the window eating bacon was an old man. I watched him drooling as he put one into his mouth, chewed it quickly, and stuffed another.I wanted to eat a plate full of bacon, but I saw strips of bacon and nothing else.I chew slowly on each crispy bite, savoring the salty-sweet taste of the bacon.Stuffing a whole mouthful of bacon is a bad word for a pervert. The old man wiped his greasy hands on the shoulder of his shirt.The pervert whispered in my ear, you don't want to be a pig, Annie? I look away.There is a police station across the road.