Chapter 7 Chapter Six

one Hermann had spent the first two days of Sukkot at Martha's; now he was back at home in Brooklyn, where he planned to spend the middle days of the festival. He finished his breakfast and was sitting at a table in the living room, working on a chapter in Jewish Life in (Shulkan︱Aluq) and (Coping with the Prayer Book).Publishers in the US and UK have long accepted the book, and Lampert Rabbie will also have a contract with a publisher in France.Herman will get some of the royalties.The book, about fifteen hundred pages long, was originally intended to be published in several volumes.However, Lampert Rabbie has arranged for the work to be published first as a set of monographs, claiming that each volume is complete, but be prepared to be published in a large volume with only minor changes.

Herman stopped after writing a few lines.As soon as he sat down to work, his nerves began to play tricks on him.He was trying to sleep and could barely keep his eyes open.He had to drink, he had to pee, he felt a crumb between his loose teeth, and he tried to get it out first with his tongue and then with a binding thread torn from a notebook. Jadwiga went down to the basement to do the laundry, and she took a quarter from Herman and put it in the washing machine.In the kitchen, Vojtus is teaching Mariana, who perches next to him.Mariana bowed her head guiltily, as if she was being trained after committing an unforgivable crime.

The phone rang. What does she want to do now?Herman wondered.He had just spoken to Martha half an hour ago, and she had told him that she was going shopping on Tremont Avenue for the last two days of the festival: Chemenet︱Acelet and Simhas︱Hand in Hand . He picked up the receiver and said: Hello, Martha. Herman heard a deep male voice, his voice turned into a hesitant guttural voice; it was a voice that was about to speak but was interrupted by someone.Herman wanted to say that the other party had dialed the wrong number, but the voice said to call Herman.Broad.Hermann wondered if he should hang up.Is he a detective in the police station?Could it be that his bigamy was discovered?Finally he said: Who is it?

The man on the other side coughed, cleared his throat, and then coughed again, like an orator preparing to give a report.Excuse me, please listen to me, he said in Yiddish, my name is Leon.Totschina was Martha's original husband. Hermann's mouth felt parched.This is the first time he has directly talked to Leon.Totschina contacted.He spoke in a deep voice, in a different Yiddish than Hermann and Martha's, and with an accent characteristic of a small part of Poland between Radom and Lublin.Each word ends with a slight vibrato, like a bass on a piano. Yeah, I know, said Herman, how did you know my phone number?

What does it matter?Anyway, I know, that's all right.If you must know, let me tell you, I saw it in Martha's notebook.I have a particularly good memory for numbers.I didn't know whose phone number it was, but finally, like they said, I figured it out. I see. I hope I didn't wake you up. no no. Totschner paused before continuing, and from his pause Hermann estimated that he was a prudent man, thoughtful, and unhurried in his actions.can we meet Is there a problem? It's a little personal. He's not very bright, the thought flashed through Hermann's mind.Martha used to say that Leon was a fool.I'm sure you understand that this is too unpleasant for me, Herman heard himself stammering, I don't see why it's necessary.you are divorced, and

My dear Mr. Broad, I will not call you if it is not necessary for either of us. He coughed and laughed, and in his voice there was a mixture of happy boredom and triumphant joy, the mood of a man who has defeated his opponent.Hermann felt his earlobe warm.Maybe we can talk on the phone. Some things have to be discussed face to face.Give me your address and I'll come to you, or we can meet at a cafeteria somewhere.I invite you. You've got to at least tell me what it's about.Hermann insisted. It sounds like Leon.Totschner was smacking his lips and wrestling with what was about to escape.

Teshina said: "She was kind of the bond between us.I did divorce her, but we were once a couple, no one can deny that.I knew all about you before Martha told me.Don't ask me how I know.I have, as they say, my sources of intelligence. Where are you now? in Flatbush.I know you live around Coney Island, and if it's not convenient for you to come to my place, I'll come to you.What is the saying?If Muhammad would not go to the mountains, then the mountains must go to Muhammad. There's a cafeteria on Splash Boulevard, Herman said, and we could meet there.He had a hard time getting the words out.He told Totschner exactly where the cafeteria was and what subway to take to get there.Totschner made him say it several times.He described everything in detail, repeating the words, as if the conversation gave him pleasure.It wasn't really disgust that Totschner aroused in Hermann, but his annoyance at being forced into such a predicament.Hermann was still suspicious.Who knows?It was not out of the question that such a lowlife might carry a knife, or a revolver.Hermann hurriedly washed and shaved.He decided to wear a better suit, he didn't want to look shabby in front of this man.One has to please everybody, Herman thought sarcastically, even his mistress' ex-husband.

He went down to the basement and saw his underwear spinning in the washing machine through the glass on the washing machine.The water was foaming and splashing everywhere.Hermann had a strange notion that these inanimate objects, water, soap, bleach, were angry at man and the power with which man had wielded them.Jadwija ​​was startled to see Herman.He never came to the basement before. I have to meet someone at a cafeteria on Splash Drive, he told her.Although Jadwiga didn't ask him anything, he gave him the address of the cafeteria in detail, thinking that if Totschina attacked him, Jadwiga would know where he was and if necessary, she would Can testify in court.He also put Leon.Totschina's name was repeated several times.Yadwija ​​stared at him with her mouth open with the resignation of a countryman, she had long since given up trying to understand this city dweller and his way of life.Yet there was still a hint of disbelief in her eyes.Even in the days of living with her, he had to find various reasons to go out.

Hermann looked at his watch and counted the time, so as not to arrive at the cafeteria too early.He is as confident as Leon.A man like Totschina, who was at least half an hour late, decided to walk the boardwalk. It was sunny and warm, but all the playgrounds were closed.Nothing but locked doors and faded advertisements.The performers were all gone: the girl with the snake's body and the head, the strong man who broke the chain, the swimmer without arms and legs, the wizard who summoned the soul.The notice board announcing the important holiday services held in the Democratic Club auditorium was already pitted and battered by the sun and rain.Seagulls soar above the ocean, screaming.

The waves crashed towards the shore, splashed and crashed, then receded as usual like a pack of barking dogs.In the distance, on the sea, a ship with gray sails was shaking.The ship, like the ocean itself, moves and stays still, like a shrouded corpse walking on the water. Everything has happened, Hermann mused.Creation, the Flood, Sodom, the giving of the Torah, Hitler's Holocaust.Like the lean cow in Pharaoh's dream, it has now swallowed up eternity, leaving no trace behind. two Herman walked into the cafeteria and saw Leon.Totschner sat at a table against the wall.He had seen Totschina's picture in Masha's photo album, and even though he was much older now, he recognized him.He was about fifty, with a big bone, a square head, and thick black hair that was obviously dyed.His face was broad, with a prominent chin, high cheekbones, a broad nose, and large nostrils.His eyebrows were thick, and his brown eyes slanted like a Tartar's.He has a scar on his forehead that looks like an old knife scar.His slightly vulgar appearance was softened by the geniality of the Polish Jew.He won't murder me, Hermann thought.It seemed implausible that this rustic man had ever been Martha's husband.The thought of it made him laugh.But that's the way it is.They pierce all imaginary bubbles, smash theories, and destroy beliefs.

There is a cup of coffee in front of Totschner.There was a cigar on the ashtray, and the ash on the butt was a full inch long.To his left is a plate with a piece of eaten cake.Seeing Hermann, Totschner seemed to want to get up, but leaned back in his chair. Herman.Broad?he asked, holding out a thick hand. Sholom.Aleham. Sit, sit, said Totschner, and have some coffee. no thanks. So how about some tea? no thanks. I want to get you a cup of coffee!Lyon.Totschner decided to say, since I invite you, you are my guest.I have to watch my weight, so I'll only have one piece of cake, but you can have a cheesecake. To be honest, it doesn't have to be. Totchina stood up.Hermann watched him as he picked up a tray and joined the line at the counter.His body was broad, and his stature seemed too short in comparison, his hands and feet were too large, and he had the shoulders of a strong man.That's how people grow up in Poland: breadth exceeds height.He was wearing a striped brown suit, apparently trying to look as youthful as possible.He walked back to his seat with a cup of coffee and a cheesecake in his hand.He quickly picked up the dying cigar, sucked on it vigorously, and puffed out a big puff of smoke. Not at all what I imagined you to be, he said, and Martha made you a complete Don Juan.He obviously didn't mean to belittle him. Hermann bowed his head.A woman's insight. I have considered for a long time whether I should visit you or not.You know, it's not easy for one person to do such a thing.I have every reason to be your enemy, but I will tell you plainly that I am here for your own good.Whether you believe me or not is another matter as they say. yes i understand. No, you don't understand.How do you understand?Martha told me, you're a writer, but I'm a scientist.You have to have the facts and you have to know the whole situation before you can understand.We know nothing by reasoning, except that one plus one equals two. What are the facts? The truth is, Martha paid for my divorce at a price no honest woman would pay even if it had her life involved, Leon.Totschner spoke in a deep voice, unhurried and seemingly without anger.I think you should understand this, because if a woman can pay that price, then you can't trust her loyalty at all.Before she knew me, when she lived with me, she had a lover.This is a solid fact.So we parted ways.I will tell you without reservation.According to the normal situation, I have no reason to be so enthusiastic about you.But I made a friend who knows you.He didn't know about our relationship, if you want to call it a relationship, and he happened to tell me about you.Why keep it a secret?This man's name is Lampert Rabbi.He told me that you suffered a lot during the war, that you hid in a hayloft for several years, and so on.I know you are working for him.He calls this kind of work research, but you don't have to explain it to me.You're a Talmud researcher, and I'm a bacteriologist. You know, Lampert Rabbi is writing a book proving that all knowledge comes from the Pentateuch, and he wants me to help him with the science part.I told him frankly that modern knowledge cannot be found in the "Five Books of Moses", and it is meaningless to find modern knowledge there.Moses knew nothing about electricity or vitamins.Besides, I don't want to waste my energy for a few bucks.I'd rather pay less.Of course the rabbi didn't mention your name, but he said there was a man hiding in the hayloft, and as they say, I guessed it was you.He lifted you up to the sky.Naturally he did not know what I knew.He is a weirdo.He called me by my name instantly and informally, which I'm not used to.Things have to go according to the laws of nature.Even the relationship between people has to have a development process.It was impossible to talk to him because the phone kept ringing.I daresay he was running countless transactions at the same time.Why does he need so much money?Okay, I'm going to get down to business. I want you to know that Martha is a sucker.A down-to-earth piece of shit.If you want to marry this kind of person, it's your right, but I want to warn you before you fall into her net.Of course, our meeting had to be kept secret.It was with this thought that I called you.Lyon.Totschina picked up the cigar and smoked it, but the cigar was out. While Totschner spoke, Hermann remained seated, looking down at the table.He felt hot and wanted to unbutton his collar.He felt a burning sensation behind his ears.Sweat trickled down his spine.While Totschina was busy lighting a cigarette, Herman said in a suppressed voice, what price? Lyon.Totshina shaped his hand into a cup and placed it over his ear.I can't hear you, please speak louder. I mean, at what cost? You know what it costs.You are not very childish.You may think that I am no better than her.In a sense, I can understand the idea.First of all, you love her, Martha is a woman who can make people fall in love.She drives men crazy.She pretty much drives me crazy too.Although she is simple-minded, she has a kind of Freud, Adler [Note: Alfred.Adler, born in Vienna, Austria, is a physician, psychotherapist, and founder of Individual Psychology. ] and Jung [Note: Carl.Gustav.Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist, a famous psychologist, and the founder of analytical psychology. 】The keen sense of becoming one is even better.She is also a brilliant actress.She laughed when she wanted to, and cried when she wanted to.I told her straight up that if she didn't waste her talents on stupid things, she could be Sarah.Bernhardt [Note: French stage and film actress of the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. 】second.So, you see, it doesn't surprise me at all that you're entangled with her.I don't want to deny that I still love her.Even a first-year psychology student knows that a person can love and hate at the same time.You may be asking yourself, why am I telling you these secrets?what do i owe youIf you want to understand, you have to be patient and listen to me. I'm listening. Don't let the coffee get cold.Have a cheesecake.Got it.Don't be so fidgety.After all, the world is going through a revolution, a spiritual revolution.Hitler's gas chambers were bad enough, but when a person loses all value, it's worse than physical torture.You must come from a religious family.Where else did you learn Jamala?My parents were not religious fanatics, but they were both strong Jews.My father has only one God and one wife, and my mother has only one God and one husband. Martha may have told you that I studied at the University of Warsaw.My major is biology, and I worked with Professor Wolkoki to help him make a major discovery.I actually discovered it myself, though the credit goes to him.The truth is, they didn't appreciate him either.Thieves were thought to be seen only on Krochmarna Street in Warsaw and the Bowery in New York.Yet there are thieves among professors, among artists, among the greatest men of all walks of life.Ordinary thieves generally don't steal from each other, but many scientists do make a living by plagiarizing.Did you know that Einstein plagiarized his theory from a mathematician who assisted him in his work and no one actually knew his name?Freud was also a plagiarist, as was Spinoza.Of course, this has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm talking about, but I'm also a victim of this kind of plagiarism. When the Nazis took Warsaw, I was able to work for them because I had a letter from the greatest German scientist, even the fact that I was Jewish was ignored.But I didn't want to take advantage of the privilege, I went through all of Jahanna.Then I fled to Russia, where the intellectuals changed so much that they even started snitching on each other.They were sent to labor camps.I myself was in favor of communism, but when it came time for me to become a communist, I became tired of the whole system and told them frankly.You can imagine how they treated me. Anyway, I survived the war, the labor camps, hunger and lice, and in 1945 I was hanging around in Lublin.I met Martha there.She was the mistress or wife of a Red Army deserter who became a smuggler and black market dealer in Poland.Apparently, she got enough food from smugglers.I don't quite know what dispute happened between them.He scolds her for stealing men, God knows what else.I don't need to tell you that she was a very attractive woman a few years ago, she was a beauty.My whole family is dead.As soon as she heard that I was a scientist, she became interested in me.The smuggler, I think, and one or six other women.You must remember that in all walks of life, there are few good people and many bad people. Martha found her mother, and we went to Germany together.We had no documents, so we had to sneak in.Every step on the road is full of danger.If you want to live, you have to break the law, because all laws sentence you to death.You're a victim yourself, so you know what it's like, although everyone's experience is different.It's impossible to talk rationally to refugees because no matter what you have to say, someone will always say the exact opposite happened. But let's get back to Martha.We got to Germany and they politely detained us in a refugee camp.Men and women generally live together without a wedding ceremony.At that time, who needs this kind of ritual?But Martha's mother insisted that we marry Moses and the laws of Israel.The smuggler might have divorced her, or she might never have been married to him.I don't care.I'm hoping to start my scientific work early and I'm not religious.She wanted a wedding, and I agreed.Others in the camp immediately went into business smuggling.The American army brought all kinds of supplies to Germany; they distributed them.Jews do business everywhere, even in Auschwitz.If there's hell, they'll be doing business there too.I say these words with no malice.What else could they do?Relief organizations have only enough to sustain life.After those days of unbearable hunger, people wanted to eat better and dress better. But I don't know how to do business by nature, so what can I do?I stayed at home and lived on rations from my fellow countrymen.The Germans did not allow me to approach the university or the laboratory.There are some idlers like me around, we read books and play cards.This made Martha unhappy.She had lived with the smuggler and was used to a life of luxury.When she met me, she was impressed because I was a scientist, but she was not satisfied after a while.She despised me; she quarreled with me.Her mother, I gotta tell you, was a saint.She has suffered a lot, but is still very pure.I love her mother very much.How long does it take a person to find a saint?Martha's father was also a good man, probably a writer, and wrote in Hebrew.I don't know who Martha really looks like.No matter where she was, she couldn't resist wanton pleasure-seeking.The smugglers often hold parties and dances.In Russia they are used to drinking vodka and every lively scene it brings. When I met Martha in Lublin, I had the impression that she was loyal to the smuggler.But it didn't take long to see that she had apparently had a lot of affairs.The weak Jews had been killed, and all that remained were the able-bodied, but in the end they too were weak.Now, their troubles are coming to the surface.Within a hundred years the ghetto will be idealized and the impression will be created that only saints can live there.There could be no greater lie.First, how many saints are there in any given generation?Second, most of the truly devout Jews died.Among those who do everything possible to survive, there is an important drive to survive at all costs.In some Jewish ghettos, they even run restaurants with cabaret performances.You can imagine what kind of cabaret it was!You have to step over dead bodies to get in. My opinion is that instead of getting better and better, human beings are getting worse.I think, so to speak, that man is always regressing.The last man on earth will be both a criminal and a madman. I think Martha has said a lot of bad things about me to you.The truth is, she broke the marriage.She was hanging out, and I was sitting at home with her mother like an idiot.Her mother suffers from eye disease, and I read the Pentateuch and American Yiddish newspapers aloud to her.But how long can I live like this?I am not old now, I was in my prime then.I also started meeting people and getting in touch with people in the scientific community.Female professors from the United States often come to visit. There are quite a few educated women here and they start to take an interest in me.My mother-in-law Shifra.Puel told me openly that I owed Martha nothing as long as she left me alone all day and midnight.To this day, Shifra.Pue still loves me very much.Once I met her in the street and she hugged me and kissed me.She still calls me my son. When I got my passport to America, Martha suddenly reconciled with me.I was granted a passport not as a refugee but as a scientist.It was I, not her, who got the passport.She should have gone to Palestine.Two famous universities in the United States competed for me.Later, because of the intrigue between the two families, first one didn't want me, and then the other university didn't want me either.Now I also don't want to go to university, because university has nothing to do with my research project.The theories I created and the discoveries I made were not appreciated by those big companies.One university president said bluntly to me that we can't afford a second Wall Street crisis.My discovery is nothing but a new energy source.atomic energy?Not exactly atomic energy.I like to call them bioenergy.If Rockefeller hadn't intervened, the atomic bomb would have been many years earlier than it is now. America's billionaires hire thieves to steal from the person in front of you.They were looking for a set that I had spent a few years building with my own hands.If this device is put into use, it is only one step away, and the oil companies in the United States will go bankrupt.But without me, the machines and chemicals are worthless to the thieves.Those companies wanted to buy me off.Until now, I am still having trouble with my naturalization, and I know they are behind it.You spit in Uncle Sam's face ten times a day and he'll bear it with a grin.But if you try to touch his assets, he turns into a tiger. where am iOh yes, in America.What would Martha do in Palestine?She would end up in a refugee camp, not much better than the German ones.Her mother was ill, and the climate would kill her.I'm not trying to call myself a saint.Soon after we got here, I hooked up with another woman.She wants me to divorce Martha.She was an American, the widow of a billionaire, and she was going to put me in a lab so I wouldn't have to rely on college.But, somehow, I didn't want a divorce.Everything has to wait to mature, even cancer.Yes, I don't trust Martha any more, the truth is, not long after we got here, she started all over again.But love without trust seems possible.I once ran into an old classmate by chance, and he told me openly that his wife was living with another man.I asked him how he could bear it, and he simply answered me: Man can overcome jealousy.Man can conquer everything except death. How about another cup of coffee?don't want?Yes, man can overcome all things.I don't quite know how she met you, and I don't care.What does it matter?I don't blame you.You never swore to be loyal to me, besides, in this world, if we can get anything, we will get it.I take yours, you take mine.Here in America, Martha had another man before you, and I know that well, because I met that man, and he didn't hide anything from me.She only proposed to divorce me after meeting you; but since she has ruined my life, I feel that I have no obligation to her.Divorce according to secular procedures was easy for her because we had been separated for a long time.But no one can compel me to divorce her kosher, not even the greatest rabbi.It's all her fault that I'm still not stable.After our marriage broke down, I wanted to resume my profession, but I was too distracted to concentrate on serious work.I started to resent her, even though I wasn't born to resent people.I'm sitting here with you as a friend and I just wish you well.My reason is simple: if it's not you, it's someone else.If I was as bad as Martha said, why would her mother send me an autographed card for Rosh Hashanah? Now I'm going to get down to business.A few weeks ago, Martha called me and asked me to meet her.What happened?I ask her.She hemmed and hawed, and finally I told her to come to my place.She came in her best attire, ostentatious, as they said.I've heard about you, but she told me the whole thing as if it happened yesterday.Speak in detail.She's in love with you and she's pregnant.She wants to have a baby.She wanted a rabbi to officiate the marriage for her mother's sake.Since when did you care so much about your mother?I ask her.My mood is very painful.She sat down, crossed her legs, like an actor posing for a picture.I said to her: You acted like a whore when you were with me, now pay the price.She didn't object.We are still husband and wife, she said.I think this is still allowed.To this day, I don't know why I did it.Maybe out of vanity.Then I met Lamper Rabbi, and he told me all about you, your learning, and the years you hid in the straw shed, and I understood it all, painfully.I understand that she caught you in her net just as she caught me.Why is she so attractive to intellectuals?That's an interesting question, although she's obviously hanging out with rough people too. Anyway, that's how it is.I hesitated for a long time before deciding to tell you the situation.In the end, though, I thought it important to warn you.I hope, at least this child is yours.It may seem like she really loves you, but with this kind of person, one may never understand. I will not marry her, said Hermann.He spoke so softly that Leon had to cup his hands over his ears and listen. What?Look, there's one thing I need to make clear.Don't tell her we met.Actually I should have met you sooner, but you know I'm an unrealistic person.I do all kinds of things and get myself into all kinds of trouble.If she learns that I told you what happened, my life is in danger. I won't tell her. You know you don't have to marry her.She's the kind of woman who bears illegitimate children.If you want to sympathize with anyone, it is you who should sympathize.Is your wife dead? Yes, she died. Your child died too? Yes. Lampert Rabbi told me you live with a friend and there's no telephone there, but I remember seeing your number in Martha's little book.She has a habit of drawing circles and flowers or animals around some important phone numbers.Around your number, she draws a park full of trees and snakes. You live in Manhattan, why are you in Brooklyn today?Hermann asked. I have a friend here, Leon.Totschner said it was clearly a lie. Well, now I have to go, said Herman, thank you very much. Why are you in such a hurry?don't go yet.I just want to be good for you.In Europe, people are used to living a secret life.Maybe there's some point in there, but it's a free country and you don't have to hide it from anybody.Here you can be a communist, you can be an anarchist, you can be anything you want.Some denominations do hold vipers in their prayers because of a verse in the Psalms.Followers of other sects ran around naked.Martha also has a ton of secrets.The trouble is, those who have secrets keep revealing theirs.Man is his own informer.Martha told me things I didn't have to tell me, things I would never have known otherwise. What did she tell you? Whatever she told me, she will tell you, it was only a matter of time.People love to show off anything, even spit it out.I don't have to tell you she doesn't sleep at night.She smokes and talks.I always beg her to let me sleep.But the devil in her heart does not give her peace.Had she lived in the Middle Ages, she would have been a witch, flying off on a broomstick to the Devil's appointments on Saturday nights.But in the Bronx, even the devil can be annoying.Her mother was also a witch in her own way, but she was a good witch: a bit of a rabbi's wife and a bit of a fortune teller.Every woman sits like a spider weaving in her own web.When a fly happened to fly by, it was caught.If you don't flee, they'll suck your blood to the last drop. I'm going to try to escape, goodbye. We can make friends.The rabbi was a rough man, but he loved people.He has a wide circle of friends, and he will be useful to you.He's mad at me because I don't want to cram electricity and television into the first chapter of Genesis, but he'll find someone who will.He's basically a Yankee, even though I know he was born in Poland.His real name was not Milton but Meleh.Whatever it was, he wrote a check.When he's in another world and has to check out, he'll get out his checkbook.But, as my grandmother Rezzie used to say, there are no pockets on the shroud. three The phone rang, but Hermann didn't answer it.He counted the rings and returned to the Jamala.He sat at a table covered with a festive tablecloth, studying and reciting as he had done in Zivkov's study. "Mishna" wrote: These are the duties of the wife to her husband.She grinds, bakes, washes, cooks, nurses children, makes beds, spins wool.If she brings a servant, she doesn't grind, or bake, or wash.If she brings two servants, she does not cook, or nurse; if she brings three, she does not make beds, or spin wool; Just sit in the living room.Rabbi Eliezer said that even if she brought him a host of servants, he should compel her to spin wool, for laziness breeds madness. Jamala reads: She mills?But is the milling done by water power? This means that she has prepared the grain to be milled.Otherwise, this could refer to a hand mill.On this point, "Mishna" and Rabbi Zia have different opinions. Rabbi Zia said that the only reason for wanting a wife is for her to be beautiful and to have children.He also said: Who wants a daughter to be beautiful, as long as she eats young chicken and drinks milk before she becomes an adult The phone rang again, and this time Hermann didn't count the rings.He wants to break up with Martha.He had sworn to renounce all worldly desires, the life of dissoluteness in which he had been caught in the past, turning away from God, from the Pentateuch, and from Judaism.He had stayed up all night the previous night, trying to analyze modern Jewry and his own way of life.他又一次得出同樣的結論：一個猶太人，只要離開《舒爾坎︱阿魯克》一步，他就會發現自己精神上處於一切卑鄙的事情中法西斯主義、凶殺、通姦和酗酒。有什麼能制止瑪莎像現在這樣呢？有什麼能使里昂．托特希納改變呢？有誰、有什麼能控制集中營裡的工頭、竊賊、偵探和告密者中的猶太人呢？有什麼能把他赫爾曼救出他正在越陷越深的泥坑呢？不是哲學，不是貝克萊、休謨、斯賓諾莎，不是萊布尼茨、黑格爾、叔本華、尼采；也不是胡塞爾【註：埃德蒙德．Gustav.阿爾布雷希特．胡塞爾，著名德國哲學家，現象學之父。 】.他們都宣揚某種道德，但是這種道德不能幫助抵制誘惑。一個人可以是一個斯賓諾莎主義者和納粹分子；一個人可以精通黑格爾的現象學和是個史達林主義者；一個人可以相信單原子元素，相信時代精神、盲目的意志和歐洲文化，然而還是犯下暴行。 晚上，他仔細地估量自己。他在欺騙瑪莎，瑪莎也在欺騙他。兩人的目標是同樣的：在黑暗最終的死亡，一個沒有獎賞、沒有懲罰、沒有意志的永恆世界來臨之前的不多幾年內，盡量地享受生活。在這種世界觀後面，欺騙和強權即公理的原則越來越猖獗了。人只有求助於上帝，才能擺脫這些。他能求助於什麼宗教呢？不能去求助那種以上帝的名義組織過宗教法庭、十字軍的征伐和流血戰爭的宗教。對他來說，唯一的出路是：回到《摩西五書》、《傑馬拉》和各種猶太教的著作去。他的懷疑怎麼辦呢？即使一個人會對氧氣的存在表示懷疑，他仍然不得不呼吸。一個人可以否認地球引力，可他仍然不得不在地面上行走。既然他離開上帝和《摩西五書》就感到窒息，那他就必須尊崇上帝，鑽研《摩西五書》。他前後搖晃著，吟誦起來：她給孩子餵奶。因此，我說《米希那》並不贊同沙買學派【註：保守派。 】.沙買學派說：如果她發誓不餵她的孩子，她就把奶頭從孩子嘴裡拉出來，希烈學派【註：自由派。 】說：丈夫逼迫她，她必須給孩子餵奶。電話鈴又響了。雅德維珈從廚房走進來，一手拿著熨斗，一手端著一盤水。 你幹嘛不接電話？ 我以後再也不在節日裡聽電話了。如果你想做個猶太人，別在舍梅內︱阿采萊特熨衣服。 你在安息日寫東西，我可沒寫。 我再也不在安息日寫東西了。如果咱們不想成為納粹分子那樣的人，咱們必須做猶太人。 你今天跟我一起去參加科福思嗎？ 應該唸哈加福思，不是科福思。好吧，我跟你一起去。如果你想做猶太人，你還得去舉行沐浴儀式。 我什麼時候能做個猶太人？ 我會跟拉比去談的。我會教你讀祈禱文。 我們會生孩子嗎？ 如果是上帝的旨意，咱們就會生一個。 雅德維珈的臉變得鮮紅。她似乎非常高興。 那這熨斗怎麼辦呢？ 把它擱在一邊，過了節再用。 雅德維珈在那兒站了一會兒，然後回到廚房去。赫爾曼捏緊下巴。他沒有刮臉，鬍子開始長起來了。他已經決定不能再為拉比工作了，因為這是一種騙人的工作。他得去謀個教師的職業或是幹別的什麼工作。他要和塔瑪拉離婚。在他之前的幾百代猶太人怎麼做，他就怎麼做。懺悔嗎？瑪莎永遠不會懺悔的。她完完全全是個現代婦女，具有現代婦女的一切嚮往和幻想。 對他來說，最明智的是離開紐約，到偏遠的一個州去居住。否則，他總是要被勾引到瑪莎身邊去的。甚至一想到她的名字，他就會很興奮。在響個不停的電話鈴聲中，他能聽出她的痛苦，她的淫蕩和她對他的愛慕。讀著拉希對《猶太教法典》的注釋，瑪莎那些尖刻的話語仍然不斷闖入他的心靈她那取笑人的言語，對那些渴望得到她的人的蔑視，他們像一群獵狗追逐一隻母狗那樣追求她。毫無疑問，對自己的行為她總會有解釋。她能聲稱一頭豬是潔淨的，還能提出一種貌似有理的理論來證明。 他坐在《傑馬拉》面前，盯著書上的字母、詞句。這些都是敘述家庭的篇章。在這些篇幅中論述他的父輩、祖輩和所有的祖先。這些話只能解釋，永遠不可能恰當地翻譯出來。在文中，就連一個女人為了長得美的緣故這樣的短語都有深刻的宗教意義。它使人想起教室、會堂內婦女的座位、祈禱文、對殉道者的哀悼和以救世主的名字獻出生命。不會使人想到是化妝品和輕浮。 這一點能對局外人解釋清楚嗎？猶太人從市場、工場和臥室中吸取詞彙，然後再把這些詞彙神聖化。在《傑馬拉》中，用在小偷和強盜身上的詞彙也別有風味，引起的聯想和波蘭語、英語的同義詞引起的不同。《傑馬拉》中的罪犯偷竊和詐騙，只是為了使猶太人可以吸取一個教訓，為了使拉希能做出注釋，為了使托薩福思能對拉希的注釋作出偉大的篇幅浩瀚的注釋，為了使里布．薩纓爾．艾德利什、盧布林的里布．梅爾、里布．所羅門．盧里亞那樣學識淵博的教師能探索更明確的答案，找出新的微妙的意義和新的見解。甚至被提到的那些偶像崇拜者崇拜邪神，也是為了使一本研究《猶太教法典》的小冊子能陳述盲目崇拜的危害。 電話鈴又響了，赫爾曼想像他通過電話鈴聽到了瑪莎的說話聲：至少也該聽聽我這方面的意見哪！根據任何公正的法律，雙方的意見都應該聽。儘管赫爾曼知道，他又要違反自己的誓言了；可是他無法克制自己不站起來，拿起聽筒。 Hello. 電話的那頭沒有聲響。顯然瑪莎不願說話。 Who?Hermann asked. 沒人應聲。 你這個婊子！ 赫爾曼聽到一聲喘氣聲。你還活著？瑪莎問道。 是的，我活著。 又沉默了好長時間。 What’s wrong with you? 我怎麼了，我發現你是個卑鄙的人？赫爾曼吼叫著。他幾乎喘不過氣來。 我想你是瘋了吧！瑪莎回答。 我詛咒我碰到你的那一天！你這賤貨！ Oh my god!What's wrong with me? 用賣淫換取了離婚！赫爾曼覺得，這似乎不是他的聲音在喊叫。過去，他父親總是這麼咒罵一個不忠實的猶太人：異教徒，魔鬼，叛教者！這是古代的猶太人強烈反對那些違反聖戒的人的喊叫。瑪莎咳嗽起來。聽聲音她似乎鯁住了。誰對你說的？里昂？ 赫爾曼答應過里昂．托特希納不說他的名字。不過，他現在不能說謊。He didn't answer. 他是個惡鬼，而且 他可能惡毒，可他說的是實話。 事實是他要求我，我把唾沫吐在他臉上。如果我瞎說，讓我活不到早晨醒來，而且讓我在墳墓裡也永遠不得安寧。讓我和他對質。如果他再敢說出這樣惡毒的謊話，我就殺了他，再自殺。ah!在天的上帝啊！ 瑪莎尖聲大叫，她的聲音也不像是她的，好像是古代一個被誣陷做壞事的猶太女人發出的聲音。赫爾曼覺得，他似乎聽見了一個幾世紀前的聲音。他不是個猶太人，他是個納粹分子。 瑪莎號啕大哭，聲音之大使赫爾曼只得把聽筒挪離耳朵。他站著聽她哭泣。哭聲非但不小下去，反而越來越大。赫爾曼的怒火又上來了。 你在美國有個情夫！ 如果我在美國有個情夫，讓我生癌。願上帝聽到我的話，懲罰我。如果是里昂胡謅的，讓他遭受災禍。在天的上帝啊，看看他們對我做的事吧！如果他告訴你的是事實，讓我肚子裡的孩子死掉！ 別說了！你發起誓來就像潑婦罵街。 我不想活了！ 瑪莎哭得渾身抽搐。