Chapter 37 part three

As soon as Feifei opened the door, the aroma of chervil and freshly baked bread filled her nostrils.After hesitating for a while, I walked out the door, walked a few steps along the corridor, came to Feifei's room door, and knocked on the door. I feel so tired during this period, I feel like I have been tired for a long time, and I have not had the energy to engage in social activities, such as going to parties, dinner parties or other gatherings, because in these situations, people expect you to have fun and feel grateful to other people. Interested in chatting with more than one person.And I became withdrawn, passive, and sometimes apathetic, and if it weren't for Elsa, Alice, Fifi, and Reyna, I might have been completely cut off from the outside world.They have been with me all this time.They even took turns spending the night with me the first week after Johannes made his final donation.Sometimes when I get out of bed in the middle of the night because I am sad, angry or feel sick, there are people around me who support me, comfort me, bring me water, make me tea, hold my hand and listen to me until I go back to continue sleep.

After the initial period, they were still with me.During the first period, I thought I was in a state of shock, I was quiet, I was in the background, I was on standby.If they need someone to talk to or keep company with, they're there.They just stay with me, don't ask anything, don't expect me to thank you, or even expect me to feel better.This situation lasted for more than two months. One day Feifei finally said that she was going to invite some friends to her house for dinner, and added very carefully: Dolly, it would be great if you could come.I thought yes, maybe I should try it out.I hesitated again and again, and finally came to Feifei's door.

You are here!As Feifei said, she grabbed my hand and pulled me in, as if afraid that my courage would evaporate at the last minute, and if I didn't give me a hand, I would run away. She leads me to the table.The guests were already seated and in motion, serving freshly baked wholemeal bread and steaming carrot soup with chervil, apparently thinking I wasn't coming.There's Elsa, Alice, Raina, and two people I've never met.Feifei introduced us, and we shook hands. They are Ge Lian and Mattes. Metus came in last month, and Ge Lian had only been in for a week, and his face still had the panic, sadness, anger, or any emotion that new recruits often had, maybe it was the fear of death.

I sat down between Alice and Elsa, and they hugged me from either side.Alice took the opportunity to kiss me loudly on the cheek, and everyone laughed when they saw it.I turned my head and looked at Alice up close for the first time in a long time, only to find that she had changed.In a way, the rough lines of her face were replaced by fragility, a softness I'd never seen in her.I thought to myself that maybe the male hormones had finally left her body.But she also looked tired, with sunken eyes and a haggard face.However, I asked myself: who is not haggard?I pushed away my uneasiness and served a bowl of carrot soup.

During the meal, the conversation at the table spanned multiple topics and I didn't join in much of the discussion, mostly just sitting and listening.Finally, they chatted about the outside world and the outside society.The situation in society is changing. The number of fifty-year-old women and sixty-year-old men without children is decreasing significantly. Nowadays, unwanted individuals can no longer engage in certain industries. Originally, unwanted individuals in these industries were protected.Now it doesn't matter if you're a teacher, nursery teacher, welfare officer, nurse or someone else in the caring profession. Not even midwives are exempt.No kids is no kids, simple as that.

That wasn't enough, Metters said: They were still talking about lowering the age limit, which made everyone nervous, with little girls getting pregnant at 17 or 18 just to be relegated to the safe side.Lines are growing at fertility clinics and IVF clinics, and adoption centers are bustling.Some people were sent to the unit before they had time to queue up to see the doctor.Cases of HIV and chlamydia also rose rapidly, as women went out to hook one stranger after another for unsafe sex. Child abductions have also increased, Gelian said: People are literally jumping over the wall. It was as if everything was lost, Feifei said: Everyone lost their sense of security.

Yes, but what do you think about stealing other people's children?Aisha said: Those in need pushed strollers and prams out and wandered around, letting children run around, and it was impossible to keep an eye on them anytime and anywhere.I figured it would be easy to snatch a sleeping baby out of the stroller, as long as the parents' attention was on the other kids. I thought to myself: So this is the reason!That's why Pedro insists that I'm not fit to be a mother, because they're so lacking in unwanted individuals.I thought to myself that the demand for organ donations and various experimental candidates must be high, even higher than in the past.But I didn't say a word because I hadn't found the right moment to tell my friends that I was pregnant.

All of a sudden, I realized that this is the right time and place, so I said: Speaking of children, there is something I want to tell you But Alice was one step ahead of me. She didn't need to talk about children in such a turning tone, and went straight to the point: There's something I want to tell you, she continued: There's something I have to tell you, and I've got to say it before it's too late, because I probably don't have much time left, so it's best to say it now.I have a brain tumor. There was silence at the table, no coughing, no gasping, not even the slight knocking of glasses, china, or cutlery, just silence.Everyone was stunned and turned to look at Alice sitting next to me.Alice suddenly looked very young and old to my eyes.There was only silence and endless condensation at the table, until Alice spoke again:

They thought it was caused by radiation, Alice turned her head to look at the newcomer Ge Lian, and explained to her: That's right, I participated in a radiation experiment related to radiation. But why?Ge Lian asked. Why?Of course it's because I'm an unwanted person, a white mouse!Alice pouted her mouth as she spoke, making a mouse-biting motion. No one laughed, not even Alice herself. No, Ge Lian said: I mean: what are they doing with radiation?What's the point of doing human experiments? significance?Alice said, waving her hand dismissively.Dear friend, I don't know the point of it at all!