Chapter 38 two

The longer a person stays in the unit, the higher the risk of participating in experiments and the higher the chance of donating vital organs.Now I know that they lack individuals who are not needed, and I also see that the situation in the unit has changed: fewer new recruits come to report every month. It used to be about five to ten each time, but now there are only two to three.Individuals in the unit are used faster and faster, and the life span of each generation is shortened.For example, Alice had only been in the unit for a year and a half before she was called to participate in an experiment that might be related to chemical weapons.Immediately after going to Feifei's for dinner that night, my closest friend experienced the following events:

Aisha participated in a series of short-term but extremely depleting human experiments, interspersed with organ donations.First she took part in a test of a new super cleaner, then in experiments with cigarettes and other tobacco and nicotine products, and then exposed her respiratory organs to vapors from various chemical solvents.In between these experiments, she donated part of her small intestine, a cornea, and the ossicle of an ear.The operations mean she is now blind in one eye and deaf in the other.She became very tired and the experiments resulted in a horrific itchy eczema on her hands and arms, bronchitis and even wheezing.Her physical fitness and physical condition have deteriorated. She is no longer the athlete she was last year. She is easily out of breath and has to rest frequently.She no longer dives, and is content to breastfeed quietly in a fifty-yard pool.

During this period, Feifei donated a kidney and part of her liver, and also participated in various medical experiments, most of which were psychotropic drug experiments, which either made her apathetic or euphoric.These drugs also have side effects, including dizziness, heart palpitations, swelling of the extremities, rashes, and hair loss.In a short period of time, she and Aisha became old ladies, walking slowly and staggeringly. The two went for a walk in the Winter Garden together every day, holding hands, and stopped to cough and gasp or clutch their chests within a few minutes. Reina, now a senior resident, had lived in the unit for three years before being brought in to donate her pancreas, liver, kidneys and bowel system.She used the same method as Megan, only telling us that she was about to make the final donation, but did not tell us the time, and disappeared one day.Aisha, Feifei and I all ran into the same situation: we went to find Reina in her room, only to see the district attendants busy cleaning her things.

It seems to me that Alice suffers the most from the heightened need for unwanted individuals. In the meantime, I'm safe, protected like a conservation sea eagle, and regularly sent in for regular checkups, nutritional supplements on test, and yoga, dance, and fitness classes.The human experiments I've been part of have only done harmless research, like sleep or dream studies, or comparing and measuring human vision in the dark, or distinguishing between different tastes, smells, and sounds. Sooner or later Elsa, Fifi and Alice would notice that the four of us came in at about the same time, and I was treated quite differently from them.Sooner or later they would find out that I was pregnant.My figure became plump, with wider hips, larger breasts, and a stomach that protruded from baggy clothes.I started wearing loose clothing, trying to hide the change in shape as much as possible for as long as I could.So far, as long as I wear clothes, I can still pretend to be fat, but at this time, I start to avoid changing clothes or taking a shower in the sports center, and I no longer go to the steam bath or swim, because as soon as I put on the swimsuit, my stomach will feel fat. The shape is very obvious.

In other words, it was time for me to tell others about the situation.Since I still think of Elsa as my best friend, I'm going to start with her and tell her the truth one night when it's just the two of us in her room.Feifei was busy taking stock in the library that night, and would come back very late.Now Elsa and Fifi sleep together every day, just like Johannes and I used to.Aisha was lying on the sofa, breathing heavily from time to time, trying to inhale.I sat in the armchair opposite her. Elsa, I said: There is something I want to tell you, something I have been carrying with me for a long time.

She looked at me, closing one cloudy eye with a donated cornea, and squinting the other anxiously: Don't tell me you're sick too, Dolly. No, I'm not sick, I'm pregnant. What?Aisha waved her arms and legs, struggled to sit up, turned her good ear to me, coughed a few times, cleared her throat loudly, and said in a hoarse voice that was almost hissing: You What? I am pregnant.I say it again. Are you kidding, are you crazy? I'm not kidding. I don't know whether the expression on her face represents disbelief, envy or disgust, she has never looked at me with that expression.I didn't recognize the way she looked at me, and didn't know how to interpret it.

How the hell did this happen?she finally said. I felt like I was stabbed, she never said foul language to me.I didn't answer. How long have you known about this?she asked. Johannes knew about it the day he made the final donation.I answered. That was many months ago, why didn't you say a word? I'm not going to say it now, I say: usually I stutter like something stuck in my throat, usually it takes a while to tell friends and family, the chances of miscarriage are high in the first few weeks. I know, fuck it!Do you think I was born yesterday?Do you think you're the first person I know who's pregnant and you start sharing a bunch of unnecessary information?

I remained silent again. How long have you been pregnant?she asked, taking a few deep breaths. Seventeen or eighteen weeks.I managed to speak out.At this time, Elsa's chest was rattling, as if her windpipe was blocked, and something had gone wrong, but then there was a small whistling sound.I could imagine a small amount of air entering an extremely narrow windpipe and then into her lungs.She grabbed the inhaler that was on the couch next to her, put it in her mouth, and pressed the button.The inhaler made a small click and she took a breath.After a while, her breathing became smoother and quieter, but the small whistling still accompanied her voice:

So you are going to have a baby?She said: Are you going to give birth here? I shake my head. no?not here?Are you going to go out and live outside, to live the life of a needed individual, to live a good life?Show off with your next generation, swagger in the streets, in squares and on public transport, and push everyone away with prams and all the baby stuff you have to carry? I shook my head again, and briefly briefed Pedro on the two options I had been offered: transplant the fetus, or give the child up for adoption.Of course I didn't name the third option in relation to the key card still in my right trouser pocket.I sometimes reach into my pocket and touch that key card, hesitating.So far, I haven't been able to make a decision, nor have I looked for a door to leave the unit.

After my brief explanation, expecting Aisha to sympathize with me, or at least politely express regret that I couldn't raise my own children, Aisha didn't respond, saying: I don't know yeah, Dolly, this feels bad, honestly, it's pretty bad. What's the meaning?I said. Uh, you are no longer in the same country as us.I mean, how are we going to trust you?Now you have become like them. I didn't know how to respond, I didn't expect her to react like this, and I didn't understand why she would react like this.I understand that she may be like most unwanted individuals, she has the grief of not being able to have children in her body, and now this grief is highlighted by me, but I don't understand why she is so angry with me, after all, I didn't want to let She upset or hurt anyone who was pregnant.

I said nothing, and she went on: So you're going to hang around here, with a big belly like Buddha, looking smug, feeling important, high above you, like all those snooty bitches out there who are needed? Still silent, I stood up and turned to leave.I heard another panting attack behind me, Elsa gasping for air, trying to get air in.The last sound I heard before I closed the door was the tiny click of the inhaler.