Chapter 7 Chapter Six

As a result, the landing was even easier than the lift-off.I had been prepared for a panic attack, anticipating that I would fall into a state of incoherent and disorientated madness again, but when the captain announced to the passengers in the cabin that the flight was about to land, I felt quite calm and collected.So I decided: There must be a difference between going up and down, getting off the ground and coming back to solid ground, one is farewell and the other is reunion; or, in anything, the beginning is always harder than the end That's all; maybe it's because I've found (nothing more than) that the shadow of death is only allowed to act within me once a day.I turned sideways to Emma, ​​and held her arm, as she was talking about the nascent stages of Hite and Feda's relationship, after Hite had let her guard down to her one night, and went on to describe Feda. Facing Heite’s frank confession, there was a surprising response (she said: That shot has paid off for your crime; you took my life back, so I will let you live again ), as soon as my hand touched Emma's arm, she stopped immediately, halfway talking, and halfway thinking.She smiled first, then leaned forward and kissed me first on the cheek, then next to the ear, and then to my mouth.She said: "The two of them fell in love at the time.We are so careless, I am afraid we will follow in their footsteps.

Listening to her say that sentence must have had some effect on making me less afraid and less vulnerable. However, it just so happens that the verbs in the two sentences summarizing my life in the past three years are the word "fall".A plane fell from the sky, and none of the passengers survived; a woman fell in love, and a man also fell in love. When the plane fell, they never thought of death at all.When the plane was still in the air, the fuselage slanted and turned for the last time, and the ground scenery passed under our feet one by one, I understood: Emma is about to give me a chance to be reborn, as long as I muster up the courage, I can almost reach available.I listen to the different tones of the engine shifting gears.The noise in the cabin grew louder, the walls shook, and then, before he could recover, the wheels touched the ground.

Then the story paused for a while.First, wait for the cabin air pressure door to open, clear customs step by step, wait for each other to go to the bathroom, find a phone to call back to the manor, and buy drinking water for the trip to Dreamland Town (Emma said: drink as much water as you can; don’t be fooled by this place) Lied by the terrain, in fact, it is easy to get dehydrated if you are not careful), search for Emma's Subaru station wagon in the long-term parking lot, and finally, fill up the fuel tank before going on the road.That was my first time back in New Mexico.If it were a normal time, I would probably be stunned by the scenery along the way, yelling at the strange rocks and cacti outside the car, and frequently asking what the name of the mountain ahead was, and what was the strange flower and grass beside the road? What; but, at the moment, I am so engrossed in the history of Hayter's life that I have no time for him.Emma and I were driving through the most magnificent wilderness in North America, but what we saw was as good as sitting indoors with the lights turned off and the shades drawn.I would pass the same road several times over the next few days, but I have almost no recollection of what I experienced the first time.Whenever I think back afterwards when I was sitting in Emma's battle-hardened yellow station wagon, only two voices come to mind: her voice, the voice that answered me, my voice, and the voice that answered her. The sound was nothing but the stream of sweet scents that poured through the cracks of the window and blew across the face; but the sight disappeared altogether.Of course I was there, but I didn't even look at it; maybe I did, but I didn't pay attention to it so much that seeing it was like not seeing it.

Emma said: Height stayed in the hospital until the beginning of February of that year; Phada visited him every day, and when the doctor said that he was getting better and could be discharged from the hospital, she persuaded her mother to take him home to continue recuperating.He was not yet fully healed; it was another six months before he was able to move freely. Did Phaeda's mother have any objections?Six months is not a short time. It was too late for her to be happy.Feida was wild back then, the kind of rambunctious youngster who grew up in the late twenties and looked down on her hometown of Sandusky, Ohio.In the midst of the recession, the Spellings kept 80 percent of their fortune, which meant they could stay in what Feedda called the inner circle of feel-good country folk in the Midwest; that circle was full of Republican reactionaries and brainless Women, whose main daily entertainments consist of dull country club dances and long, dull dinner parties.Every year, Feida would go home for the New Year for the sake of her mother and her elder brother who stayed with his wife and children in their hometown after marriage.As soon as the second or third day of the first month came, I couldn't wait to escape back to New York, secretly vowing never to return to my hometown again.That year, though, she certainly didn't go to any parties and didn't run back to New York; she fell in love with Haight.Her mother thought it would be a good thing to keep Phaeda in Sandusky.

You mean, she doesn't object to their marriage either? Feda was at odds with the family early on.The day before the shooting, she had told her mother that she planned to move to Paris and maybe never return to the United States.That's why she went to the bank that morning to get money from her account and buy a boat ticket.Mrs. Spelling never expected that her daughter would say the word marriage.Seeing such a drastic change, how could she not thank Heit and welcome her new son-in-law with open arms?Not only did she not object to the marriage, she even arranged the wedding on her own.

So, Hite started a new life in Sandusky.Originally, it was just a place name that he picked up at his fingertips, but the lies turned out to be true one by one.It's incredible, isn't it?His name was Chaim Mandelberg, then Heitmann, then Hermann Rosser, and what next?Who will Herman Rosser become?Does he remember his last name? He reverts to Haight.For Phaeda called him by that name; we all call him by that name.After they got married, Haight turned back into Haight. Shouldn't he continue to be called Heitmann?He can't be so careless, can he? Het Spelling; he took Phaeda's name.

Wow. Nothing to wow.Purely for practical reasons.He didn't want to continue to use the surname Roser; the surname Roser made his life a mess, and since he decided to change his surname, why not just use the surname of the woman he loved so much?And he never wanted to go back; he had been Height Spelling for more than fifty years. How did they end up in New Mexico? They were driving west on their honeymoon and decided to stay.Haight, who suffers from a number of respiratory problems, found the dry local air to be of great help to his health. At that time, many literati and artists lived in that area.Taos had the Mabel Dodgers, and D. H．Lawrence, O'Keeffe.Does it have anything to do with it?

Absolutely not.Hayter and Phaeda live on the other side of New Mexico.Never met those people. They moved there in 1932.Yesterday you told Haight that he started filming again in 1940; there was an eight-year gap, what happened to that gap? They bought 400 acres of land at that time.At that time, the price was ridiculously low, and they probably bought it for only a few thousand yuan.Although Feida came from a wealthy family, she didn't have much money herself; she only inherited a small inheritance from her grandmother, about 10,000 to 15,000 yuan.Her mother always wanted to help her, but Feida refused to accept anything.Too strong self-esteem, too obstinate, unwilling to rely on others; she would never be a card.Therefore, she and Haight could not afford to hire a large crew to help them build the house; architects, builders, none of them could afford it.Luckily, Haight had some skills; he learned carpentry from his father and built sets in a studio, all of which he used to save money.He designed the house himself, then built it almost with his and Feda's two hands.The house is very simple, just a rammed earth house divided into six rooms.There was only one floor, and their only assistants were three Mexican brothers who lived in the outskirts of the city at that time, had no full-time jobs, and lived by doing odd jobs.For the first few years, they didn't even have electricity; of course, there was water, and it had to be; but it took them months just to find the water and dig the well.That's just the first step; after that, they can decide where the house should be built; and then start drawing and construction.It's not like you can live there just by moving there.There was originally a large bare space, and they had to start from scratch bit by bit.

Then what?What did they do after the house was built? Feida was very good at drawing, so she picked up the brush and started painting.Hite usually reads books and writes in his diary, but most of the time he is still busy planting trees.Planting trees became his most important job and took up the next few years of his life.He first prepared several acres of land around the house, and then laid a perfect irrigation pipe step by step, so that he could plant things on the ground. After the land was prepared, he began to work hard to plant trees.Although I have never counted carefully, there are probably two or three hundred trees there.There are clover, juniper, and poplar, willow, dwarf pine, and white oak, among others.There was nothing growing in that place before except agaves and sagebrush.Hite insisted on making a grove there.You'll see it for yourself in a few hours, but to me it's the most beautiful place in the world.

I can't picture him at all; Heitmann, a silvicultural expert. He was extremely happy; perhaps it was the happiest period of his life, but when a person is happy, his ambition is almost worn out.There were only two things on his mind at the time: staying with Feda for the rest of his life, and taking care of the land.After all, he had experienced all the ups and downs in the past few years, and he felt that enough was enough.But you know, he's still going on to atone, it's just not in the form of self-harm.To this day, he speaks of those trees as his crowning achievement.He said it was better than the movies he made, better than anything he'd ever done.

Where did that money come from?How would they live if they were so short of money? Phaeda had friends in New York, many of whom she still kept in touch with; those people would help her with jobs; illustrations for children's books, magazine illustrations, all kinds of odd jobs.The salary is not high, but it is still barely enough to cover the necessities of life. Then she must be very talented. David, we're talking about Fedaye, not some slick stuff.She has both a natural artistic cell and a passion for creation.She once told me that she might not be a great painter, but she also said that if she hadn't met Haight at the beginning, she might have insisted on being a great painter all her life.She hasn't painted for several years, but she is still unambiguous when she picks up a brush; the lines are smooth, dexterous, and the composition is brilliant.Later, when Hite resumed filming, she was responsible for drawing storyboards, designing sets, costumes, and participating in all art-related work in the film.Faida was an integral member of the filming team. I still don't get it; they're living on a shoestring in the desert; where did the money to start the film come from? Feda's mother died; the Spellings' estate was worth more than three million dollars, and Feda inherited half of it, while her brother Frede got the other half. Now, you don't have to worry about running out of funds, right? At that time, more than one million was not a small amount. There are a lot even now, but this matter is not just about money.Hayter swore he'd never make a movie again; you told me that a few hours ago, and now you're saying he's going to do it again.What factors made him change his mind? Phaeda and Hayter had a child; named Teddios Spelling II, after Phaeda's father.They called him Teddy, or Ted, or Tae-goo sometimes, or whatever.Ted was born in 1935 and died in 1938. One morning, he ran to his father's garden and was stung by a bee. Sent to a doctor thirty miles away, he was dead.It is not difficult to imagine the blow they received at the time. I can imagine; other things may not, this one, I can imagine. I am so sorry.I shouldn't have said that; how could I be so stupid. Don't say sorry; I just get what you're saying.That kind of situation can be imagined without racking your brains.Ted Tad is so close, isn't it? But Don't be so, keep talking Haight broke down.For several months, he did nothing.Just sitting in the house; looking at the sky outside the bedroom window; sometimes looking at the back of my hand in a trance.It's not that Feda isn't sad, but Height is far more fragile and helpless than Feda.She could still tell herself rationally: the child died purely by accident, entirely because he was born allergic to bees, but Haight believed that everything was a punishment from heaven.Because he was too happy; life was too smooth, so God wants to teach him a lesson. So the filming was Faida's idea?After she inherited that money, she went to convince Haight to get back to work? Pretty much right.He was going mad, and Feida knew she had to stop it, she had to do something; not just to save Height, but to save their marriage, and her own life. Heite obediently listened to her? not so fast.But then Feida threatened to break up with him, and he finally gave in.But I have to add that he wasn't too stubborn.For ten whole years, he has been thinking about the camera position, lens focus, lighting position, and plot concept all day long.It was the only thing he wanted to do, the only job in the world that meant anything to him. What about the oath he swore before?How did he accept that he was going back on his word?From your description of him along the way, I really can't figure it out for him. He thought it over first and then swore another poisonous oath.Suppose a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it fall, is it making a sound or not making a sound?Hayter had read a good deal by then, and he knew all the tricks and tricks of philosophical speculation.If someone makes a movie and no one sees it, does that movie exist or not?This is his solution.He agreed to continue making films, but never showing them to anyone, just for the sheer pleasure of making them.That was really an astonishing act, but since then he has kept his word and never violated it.Think about it, knowing that you are very good at something, as long as you make a move, everyone in the world will be amazed and admired, but you don’t let the outside world know what you say, and everything is done in secret.What Hyatt did required enormous determination and austere self-discipline plus a little madness.Hite and Feda are probably a little crazy, but they have made some achievements.Even though Emily Dickinson never asked others to understand her poems, she still tried every means to publish them; even Van Gogh wanted to sell his paintings.As far as I know, Haydt was the first artist to decide to destroy a work before creating it.Of course, Kafka can be regarded as a precedent. Before he died, he asked Max Brod to burn all his manuscripts, but he waited until the last moment.Brod couldn't do anything.However, there is no doubt that Feda will be able to do it; if Height is dead, she will burn all the films in the garden in one day. One screen, no one is spared.There is no flexibility in this matter.You and I will be the only witnesses. How many videos are there? Fourteen; eleven feature films over 90 minutes long, and three less than an hour long. I don't think he will still make comedies, right? Let me read the titles of a few films for you to listen to: A Calendar of Return Against the World, Mary White Ballad, Journeys in the Copying Room, Ambush on the Cliff, it’s not funny just listening to it, right? Well, it's really not like the title of a typical comedy movie, but it's too old-fashioned. That depends on how you define it.I don’t think it’s old-fashioned; it’s very serious, yes, and some parts are weird, but it’s not old-fashioned. What kind of grotesque method? Hite's films are very discreet, balanced, and not grandstanding.But there is always an element of mystery, some weird poetry, running through it.He broke a lot of stereotypes; he did a lot of things that a director shouldn't do. for example Like, say, a voiceover.Narration is recognized as the worst technique in film narrative, and the use of narration often means that the image is not enough; however, Haight relies heavily on narration and uses it extensively in several films.One of them is called The History of Light. There is no dialogue in the whole film; it is all composed of narration from beginning to end. What else did he do wrong? I mean, what things did he do wrong on purpose? Since he doesn't have to worry about the box office at all, he can make films without restraint.With complete freedom, Hayter was able to explore things that other filmmakers could not touch, especially certain areas that were taboo in the 1940s and 1950s.Examples: nudity; real intercourse; childbirth; excretion.The images are frightening at first, but the scare wears off quickly.Although those are all a natural part of life, people are still not used to seeing those processes on the screen, so we will be shocked on the spot and pay special attention; but Haidter will not add fuel to it .Once you gradually understand that his films really have no limits, those so-called taboo and undisguised fragments can be integrated into the texture of the story.On the other hand, the footage thus provided him with a sort of protection in case a copy was stolen; Your parents also fully cooperate? All processes are done by hand and by yourself.Those films were written, directed, and edited by Hite; my father was in charge of lighting and photography, and after the film was finished, my father and mother were in charge of the computer room.They develop the film, rough cut the footage, mix the sound, and put the final print on the reels. All work is carried out in the manor? Height and Feda later turned the estate into a pocket studio.They began to rebuild in May 1939, and the renovation was completed in March 1940. Since then, the manor has become a fully self-sufficient world and a base for shooting private movies.In one of them, there is a compound studio, plus a carpentry room, a sewing room, several dressing rooms, and several warehouses scattered here and there for storing sets and costumes.The other building is used for post-production operations.They couldn't take the risk of sending the negatives outside and entrusting a printing factory to do it for them, so they built a printing room by themselves; that room took up an entire side room; An underground film library to keep all copies and negatives. So much equipment, equipment, certainly not cheap. All the expenses add up to more than 150,000 yuan.But they can still afford it, and most equipment only costs one time.They bought many cameras, but only one editing table, a set of projectors, and a set of optical printing equipment.After everything was ready, they started filming in a hurry.The inheritance that Feida inherited was left to generate interest, and the principal was not used as much as possible.So they use the most streamlined manpower and material resources.If you want to keep shooting for a long time, you have to do that. Nafeda is only in charge of sets and costumes? There are other things to manage.She also served as Height's editing assistant. During the filming process, she took on several roles: retouching scripts, on-site sound recording, and follow-up. What about your mother? Oh my Phoebe; the most beautiful Phoebe; my favorite Phoebe.She is an actress.When she went to the estate to participate in a film performance in 1945, she fell in love with my father.She was in her early twenties at the time.Later, she participated in every film, and most of them played the heroine, but she also helped a lot with practical work.Things like sewing costumes, painting scenery, giving ideas on scripts, etc., and of course developing prints with Charlie.That's what an adventure is; no one does just one thing.Everyone does everything, and they devote themselves to it day and night and for a long time.Months of shooting, and then months of post-production.Filmmaking is an extremely tedious and complicated job, with such a thin manpower, and wanting to do so many things, so I can only try my best to push it slowly.Each film usually takes two years to complete. I can understand, or roughly understand, or try to teach myself to understand that Heid and Feda want to live there, but your mother and your father confuse me.Charlie Grand is a superb cinematographer.I've studied his stuff carefully, and I know what he did with Haight in 1928, and it doesn't make sense for him to give up his career like that. My dad had just gotten out of a marriage.Thirty-five years old, looks like thirty-six, and still has no chance to be a top Hollywood director of photography.After 15 years in the industry, he still can only make second-rate films, and sometimes he doesn't even get to make second-rate films.The filming is always inseparable from western films, police films, and children's films.Really, Charlie is very powerful, but he is too dull and taciturn, as if he has been holding back his bitterness all the time. Seeing him always looks like a boring gourd, everyone always thinks he is very proud.Good jobs slipped away from him again and again, which turned into a vicious circle over time, and his confidence was lost bit by bit.After his first wife left him, he sank for a few months.Drinking too much, complaining about himself all day long, frequently sabotaging work.Haight looked back for him, at that juncture, at the lowest point of his life. You still haven't told me why he agreed to cooperate.Anyone who shoots a video always wants others to watch it.If shooting means not shooting, then why put negatives in the camera in the first place? Because he doesn't care.I know this reasoning is hard to convince, but in his eyes, the work itself is the most important; as for the result, it is a secondary consideration.Many filmmakers are like this, especially those little people who sweat quietly behind the scenes.Such people like to use their brains; they like to operate machinery, equipment, and like to find work automatically and spontaneously.It's not for any art or creativity; it's purely just like the feeling of getting hands-on and getting the job done.My dad had all the ups and downs in the film business, but he was good at making movies, and Hayter just gave him a chance to make movies, and he didn't care about the box office.If you find someone else, you may not go.But my father liked Haight; he used to say that his years at Kaleidoscope were the happiest years of his life. When Haight found him, he must have been shocked; after more than ten years, he suddenly heard a dead man talking to him on the phone. He thought someone was playing a prank on him.Or the only possibility is that he got a call from a ghost, but my father doesn't believe in ghosts, so he told Height to die on the phone on the spot, and then hung up immediately.Heit had to hit him again and again before my father finally believed him. When did that happen? The end of 1939; November or December, not long after Germany invaded Poland.In February of the following year, my father moved to the manor.Heidt and Phaeda had already built a new house by then, so he lived in the old house where they had first built the hut.That's where I lived with my parents when I was a kid, and that's where I live now, in a six-room rammed-earth house in the shade of a Haight planting; What about the others who came to the estate?You just said that the actors were brought in from outside, and that your father inevitably needed some technical assistance from time to time.Even I know that it is impossible to make a movie with just four people.They may be able to make do with pre-production and post-production, but not filming.Once an outsider is invited, how can it be possible to keep a secret?How can you keep those people's mouths shut? Let me tell everyone: The film was made for others.Pretending that they were commissioned by a millionaire in Mexico City who loved American movies so much that he set up a small private film studio in the American wilderness and commissioned them to make films for himself and make films just for him Appreciate it for one person, don't let others see it.If you come to Qingshizhuang to participate in filming, you must be mentally prepared. In the future, the film will be shot for one person and only for one person to watch. This is a bit ridiculous. Maybe, but many people believe it. That must be a person who is desperate and doesn't even care about life or death. You probably don't know too many actors, do you?Actors are the most life-or-death kind of people in the world; 90% of actors do not have a fixed job at ordinary times, as long as your salary is not bad, they will not ask anything; as long as there is work to do.Height is not looking for big-name stars, he is not interested in stars; what he wants is professional actors with real skills, anyway, the scripts he writes do not have a large number of roles, sometimes only two or three, so it will not be too difficult to find.Every time he finished a film and was ready for the next one, he would pick new actors from another batch; except for my mother, he never reused the same actor. Well, I don't care about anyone else.What about yourself?When did you first hear the name Heitmann?You always thought his name was Heit Spelling.How old were you before you knew that Heit Spelling and Heit Mann were the same person. I always knew it.All the films Heite made in the Kaleidoscope are available in the manor, and I have watched them more than fifty times since I was a child.As soon as I learned how to read, I noticed that Haight's surname in the subtitles of the film was not Spelling, but Mann; Later, when I stopped acting in movies, of course I didn’t need to use my stage name anymore.I think this explanation is very reasonable. I used to think none of those films survived. almost.To be honest, it was true that I couldn't stay; but just a day or two before Hunter was going to declare bankruptcy and the law enforcement officers came to confiscate the property and seize the company, Haidt and my father sneaked into Kaleidoscope and stole the films.The negatives were no longer there, but they took copies of all twelve films.Height gave the film to my father for safekeeping, and two months later he was gone.When my father moved to the estate in 1940, he brought the film with him. How did Haight feel? I don't understand you; how should he feel? That's what I asked; is he happy?Still not happy? Happy; of course happy.He's proud of those films, and happy to get them back. So why did he wait so long to send the film again? Why do you think he sent the video? I don't know, do you mean I thought you knew; it was me, I sent all those videos. Actually, I also guessed it was you. Then why don't you just say it? I'm afraid it's inappropriate to speak bluntly; perhaps you don't intend to let outsiders know. David, there's nothing I don't want you to know; I want you to know everything I know.Do you understand?I secretly sent those videos, and you followed the line to find them; the only person in the world who found them all was you.So we became close friends, don't you think?Although we didn't meet until yesterday, the two of us have been working together for several years. You are so clever; wherever I go, I talk to the library staff, but no one knows the identity of the sender.When I was in California, I ate with Tom Rudy, the director of the Pacific Film Archive; they were the unit that received the last Heitmann mystery package.When the package of the film arrived, you had been doing it for several years, and there had been rumors in the circle.Tom said that as soon as he received the package, he sent it to the FBI without opening it, and asked them to check the fingerprints on it, but they couldn't find anything, and they couldn't even find half of the fingerprints on it. Leave no clues. I'm wearing gloves.Since I have gone to great lengths to keep it mysterious, I certainly can't be careless in such a small place. Emma, ​​you are so smart. Of course.I'm the smartest guy in the car; forgive me for saying otherwise. But why did you do that behind Hat's back?Only he has the right to decide whether to let the outside world see those videos, not you. I reported it to him beforehand.Although it was my idea, without his approval, I would not go my own way. What did he say? He just shrugged his shoulders when I finished speaking; then smiled at me slightly.He said: Leave me alone, Emma, ​​just do what you want. So, he didn't stop, but he didn't lend a helping hand either; he chose not to act. It was November 1981, nearly seven years ago.I went back to the manor for my mother's funeral, and it was a tough time for each of us, but I handled it badly, I have to admit.She was only fifty-nine when she was buried, and I was totally caught off guard.The heart is dead; the only word I can think of is: there is nothing more sad than heart death.The heart seems to be broken into powder.I looked at everyone and suddenly realized: everything is over, a vigorous experiment is over.My father was eighty then, Haight eighty-one; the next time I saw them they were gone.I was greatly shocked.Every morning, I would sneak into the projection room and watch the figure of my mother in old movies. When I walked out, it was already dark, and I was always crying and my liver and gallbladder were tearing apart.After going on like this for two weeks, I decided to go back to my house.I was living in Los Angeles at the time; I was working at an independent studio and they rushed me back to work.So I packed my luggage and called the airline to book a flight, but at the last minute, on my last night at the manor, Hayter asked me to stay. What reason did he use to keep you? He said he was determined to tell everything, but he needed someone to help him; he couldn't do it himself. You mean, he suggested writing the book? He said it all from beginning to end.It would never have occurred to me to write about him myself; if I had thought of it, I would not have told him about it; I dared not. He must have lost his nerve; that was the only explanation.Either he had no courage, or he was too old and weak. I thought so too; but I was wrong, so you are wrong too.It was all because of me that Hayter changed his mind; he told me I should know the truth, and promised to tell me the whole thing if I would stay and listen to him. Well, I have no problem with that; after all, you are considered a member of his family, and now that you have grown up, family affairs should not continue to be kept secret from you.But, frankly, why do you need to write a book about your personal deeds?Telling your heart and soul to you in private is two different things from writing a book to tell the world. If he tells the world about his life, his life will be completely meaningless. The problem you're talking about would only have happened if he had published that book while he was alive.But he won't let it happen.I promise that as long as he is alive, I will never let anyone see it.He promised that he was telling the truth, and I promised that the book would not be published until after his death. It never occurred to you that he might be using you?You got to write that book, well, if all goes well, it's going to be a universally important book, and it's logical for Hyatt to let you live on; not because his films are all destroyed by then By virtue of the book you wrote. It's possible, any possibility.But I don't care what he thinks.He might have decided to do it out of fear, or fame, or remorse at the end of his life, but he was telling the truth; that was all I cared about.David, it's not easy to be honest, and Hite and I have been through a lot over the past seven years.He kept nothing from me, and showed me all his diaries, every letter, every document he could get his hands on.At the moment, the issue of publishing does not occur to me at all.Whether it is published or not, writing this book has become the most important topic in my life. Where is Phaeda?How does she feel about this?Did I do you two a favor? The incident made her uncomfortable, but she did her best to follow us.I think she objected to Hayter's approach, but didn't want to stop him.It's hard to say anyway; anything involving Phada becomes troublesome. How long did it take you to decide to send Haight those videos? As soon as I thought of it, I did it immediately.I wasn't sure I could trust him then, so I figured out this way of testing him to see if he was telling the truth or not; if he refused, I wouldn't have to stay.I want him to make some sacrifices, to show his sincerity.He also understands what I mean.We didn't talk that much, but he understood, so he let me do it. But this still doesn't prove that he is telling the truth to you.You let his past films come back; it doesn't do him any harm.Audiences remembered him again; a neuroscientist living in Vermont even wrote a book about him.But this has nothing to do with his real experience. Every time I hear anything from him, I check it out.我跑到布宜諾斯艾利斯；我循線追查布莉姬的遺骸下落；我翻遍舊報紙，印證桑達斯基銀行搶案的經過；我還去找不下十幾名曾經在四〇、五〇年代到莊園參與拍片的演員、一個一個問他們當時的情形。結果統統吻合。當然，有一些人我無法找到，有的則是已經亡故；比如朱爾布勞斯登。此外，我至今還找不到席薇亞米爾斯。可是我去了斯坡坎，見了諾菈。 she is still alive? 活得可好著呢；至少三年前我見到她的時候還是。 快說說。 一九三三年她跟一個姓法拉第的結婚了，他們生了四名子女；那四名子女生了十一個孫子孫女；我去拜訪她時，其中一個孫子即將讓老先生老太太當曾祖父母哩。 真是太好了；我不知道我樂個什麼勁兒，但知道她現在這樣，我覺得很開心。 她教四年級教了十五年，後來還當上校長呢。她一直堅守崗位直到一九七六年退休為止。 這麼說來，諾菈果然依舊是那個諾菈，一點都沒變。 我見她的時候她已經七十多歲了，但是她讓我覺得她完全就像海特向我描述的那樣。 妳們談到賀曼羅瑟了嗎？她還記不記得這個人？ 我一說出那個名字，她就哭了。 Cried?怎麼個哭法？ 就，熱淚盈眶，然後淚流滿面。哭了就是哭了嘛；就像你哭、我哭那樣；跟所有人的哭法一樣。 天哪。 她當時又驚又窘，談到一半還突然站起來、走掉。等她一回來，緊緊握著我的手，一直跟我道歉。她說，她很久很久以前認識這麼一個人，一直忘不了他；五十四年來，他的身影天天盤桓在她的腦海。 這是妳編的吧？ 真的不騙你。要不是我親自跑去見了她，連我自己都不相信會是真的。但那些是真的，全部都是真的，完全跟海特跟我講的一模一樣。每次我偷偷懷疑他又在騙我，每次都證明那些全是真的。戴維，因為他說的全是真的，所以那些故事聽起來才會那麼離奇、像是編造的。