Chapter 2 ■Xianmeng Yuannan Guozheng Fangchun

Carlo and I had just finished watching The Abnormal Love in Southeast Asia, and when we got out of the movie theater, the sun was gloomy, and the ground was half wet and half dry, and it had already rained a lot. One accidentally got on the right-turning ○nan. Carlo was going back home at the back station, and I was going to Jin Jin on Wuchang Street to pick out a birthday present for my younger sister. We hurriedly rang the bell and got off at National Taiwan University. The two of them were in a panic. She stomped her feet, but couldn't help laughing. We walked side by side silently.The red brick road has just been washed into a clean red by the rain. The tall acacia and eucalyptus cover the whole road in a cool and green environment, which is a kind of delicious air.

Carlo didn't speak, I don't know what she was thinking, I don't know if it's the same as I thought, the movie is not good, and it is very bad, foreign countries still have movies that are as bad as Chinese movies, but the scene The sunshine and the blue sea make people want to leave everything behind and live the life of their 17-year-old girls, read the books they like to read, do what they like to do, eat, sleep, fall in love, live I glanced at Carlo, she was tilting her head, looking at everything in the garden through the railing.I suddenly felt an unknown sadness. Carlo's homework is very good, and he is always one of those few competitors in the class.She and I only got acquainted in the second semester of the second year of high school. When we meet, we always talk about politics, state affairs, and our ideals. She wants to study politics, and I am journalism. We once made a strong vow.At this moment, I feel that she is far away from me. She is the group in the garden, the girl sitting on the lawn reading a book, and the college student walking on the Coconut Grove Road with fluttering skirts.

However, homework seemed to mean nothing to me at all.I walked past the bulletin board in class this morning. Although I didn’t have the total score sheet for this monthly exam, I still glanced at the ranking list. The last place was worth two points more than me.I continued to walk, went to the toilet to wash my hands, and then came back, sat down on my seat and continued to read my Vadsey boxing notes. This is not the first time, the last monthly exam was at the end of the month, I don’t know why I did this, I just didn’t touch the book, I just didn’t want to pick up the book honestly, and then read it again on the day of the exam, nervous Yes, desperate, even carrying the bento box while walking and digging through Dixon who has never opened it, I hate this kind of person the most!

I will also be sad, for example, when I take the math test, I always feel very lonely, as if I have lost my job, and I can't write when I see my classmates immersed in their writing, because I don't know what Sain and Saiin are. In the evening, when my sister celebrated her birthday, we each took out presents and saw her smiling face that I hadn't seen for a long time. My younger sister was in the most tense third year of junior high school, but she dozed off when she saw a book, and she was not a reading material.Every time I go upstairs after watching TV, I always see her sleeping in a big shape on the bed in her uniform, with bright lights on, and Christmas Eve in the same room.Her homework was not very good, and she regressed even more when she was promoted to the third grade. Later, she learned from her tutor that she knew a boy from the same school.One night, my father chatted with her very late, and she cried with her forehead on her shoulders shaking, and I was stunned standing at the door.I remember the last time she cried was when she was in elementary school. We were riding a new bicycle on the street, and we met two wild boys with flat bicycles. I got into a car, and my ankle was bleeding, and I limped away. My sister pushed the new car whose faucet was hit crookedly, and tears ran down my face.Now I don’t know her anymore. For a whole year, she was busy, I was busy, my father was busy, my mother was busy, and my sister was also busy. I never knew that she had so many worries and grievances.

I think my father's persuasion is very reasonable, and the whole thing is very understandable, but why is she so stubborn?I can't help but think of what my father said before, feelings are irrational, but there should be some rationality, it should be possible!I said this to my sister.She raised her head and glanced sadly, you don't understand!I couldn't help trembling, thinking, no matter how she handles this matter, I believe she has grown up, a lot older, not only is she ten centimeters taller than me, with big eyes and a soft smile, she is a big girl . After a lot of trouble, I made it to the time for exercises between classes in the third year of high school. I took Juer and traveled across the desert to find Xiaojing in Mingde Building.

Ju'er, Xiaojing, Deng, and I, for some reason, were tightly huddled together not long after school started in the first year of high school. Even when we took a nap on a hot day, the four of us had to squeeze together affectionately.Deng loves literature, and I have a lot to chat with her.It's different with Juer.It's not the case with Xiaojing, we can hardly talk to her, but we are always on good terms.In the first class every afternoon, I have already started passing notes to discuss the after-school program.Juer and I are always the first to attack. Park No., Miscellaneous Ice, Honey Bean Ice, Lao Dachang, and the market in the city. Of course, Juer and I have no problem. Xiaojing is casual, Deng must not go, and then the three of us will go together Persuading Deng, persuading three classes, the small note was changed and blacked out.In the end, bathed in the setting sun, the four of them ran together on the main road in front of the presidential palace, catching up with the first oven of hot cheese in Jinling.

In the second year of high school, Xiao Jing was transferred to the natural group.When I knew that she passed the group test, I just felt sad and worried that she would gradually become unfamiliar with us, because Xiao Jing is always idle and easy to get along with everyone. She met a few people on the road. An old friend whom I haven't seen in years, is like meeting someone for the second time, with a smile, but she is so peaceful that no one can blame her.But now I want to blame myself for my meddling, because I have always believed in fate, especially the affairs of friends, we should go with the flow, but I have become so worried for no reason.

In fact, Xiaojing and I are not very close friends. When we are together, I talk less and she talks less, but we have a good understanding. Walking through the park, I suddenly said: Look at that phoenix tree.Then the two continued to walk in silence, their hearts full. Once we arrived at Mingde Building, the atmosphere was different.There was no one in the entire corridor, but the classroom was full of people, those holding books, and those lying on the table.Ju'er and I started to feel embarrassed again, every time we came to look for Xiaojing, we had to disturb a lot of people to send messages from the window.Then watch her come out on tiptoe.The sophomore in the social group is still the first year of high school, but the sophomore in the natural group is already like the third year of high school, a smell of war clouds.

We sat side by side on the small stone wall by the corridor, most likely Juer was speaking alone, the radius of the storm was quite large and he made gestures, it was funny, there was a burst of earth-shattering, the three of them blushed and booed each other to be quiet, don't look away From left to right, he avoided the eyes looking here from the window. The horn for class sounded, but we still didn't move. See you at the gate after school? Um.There is the ring. Wait for Xiaojing to enter the classroom first, then Juer and I will shake slowly.There was a little ghost wind on the playground again, and the sand made people want to cry.The mid-day sun shrinks our shadows into short circles.

As soon as I got back to the classroom, I fell asleep.No matter it is a sunny day or a yellow plum day, Guangfu Building is always so shady and cool, like a fairy cave, where a thousand years in the world is just a day.The smell here often reminds me of Bai Xianyong's world, but Guangfu Building is much brighter and cleaner. In fact, Guangfu Building has the best atmosphere.Outside the window on one side is an old sweetgum plant that is blown golden by the sun, and on the other side is the high and wide blue sky. The world is full of tall and low buildings, which is really a taste of the city.

After yawning three times, the gentleman on the stage became more and more blurred.The wind is cool and teasing people, Taiwan really has the same four seasons, and the autumn wind will blow up in May.So I fell asleep for another class. Woke up from the mist early in the morning for no reason, went to the porch to look at the sky, but saw a day full of running clouds, it was a taste of the end of the world, but it made me feel so broad-minded, as if I was the only one in the world who understood God’s will .It's really the world today, who else is better than me!It makes people can't help but have a great ambition again. Looking at the calendar, it is the heartbroken time on June 6th. Come back to Guangfu Building for the past two days!Su Lando's singing and piano.The final music exam is always a small matter, easier than the main subject exam, but it can't be thrown away gracefully, which is very annoying. The piano room is right next door to our classroom, so it goes without saying that the acoustics are good, but often in the middle of the class, the teacher has to wait for the singer to come back with a complaint!come back!After finishing the high-pitched song, I continued to say, the Xunyang River sees off the guests at night, and the maple leaves and grass flowers rustle in autumn.The sunshine of southern Europe seems to have splashed into the Guangfu Building. Huang Mei looked at Steinbeck's symbol of the earth, and I looked at Taipei City. In the past two days, Taipei City has looked very deep and cultural, because the clouds are thick and rolling, the sky is bright and clean, and the scenery is especially clear and clear. Huang Mei and I are really two amateur students! Huang Mei has that rare frankness, integrity, enthusiasm, and intelligence, which I couldn't see at the beginning.I have always hated and hated, and love and hate are very strong, she is even more, but there has always been a layer of misunderstanding between the two of them, so that after the first year of high school and the second half of high school, she hated me later, and I passed a note to Juer in the front, saying that I think Huang Mei is always watching behind the scenes, so it's scary! At the beginning of the second year of high school, the two of them sat together in a strange way. I think I think, since then, the two have become good friends who appreciate all the strange things.She loves Hesse's, especially when he was a wandering teenager, I thought it was too thick and too close, but both of them watched Luo Litai together, the last movie, D. H．Chatterley of Lawrence occasionally raised her head to look at the stage tacitly, applauded Mr. Mathematics, and then looked at each other with a smile. She said, I really like that song: By the Time I Get to Phoenix. I have always missed the math class in the second half of the second year of high school. I was reading this issue of Reader's Digest, and when I heard Mr. Guowen say that novelists are rare, I couldn't help but hastily put the book in the drawer and listened to him intently.I really like to listen to gentlemen talk about things other than books, especially Chinese. I always hope that I can grasp like an octopus, not letting go of every bit, but in the past two years, I have been disappointed.Mr. Guowen is a very dedicated person. His educational purpose seems to be to focus on the teachings of evangelism textbooks, and the others are minor teachings.He can still give lectures outside of class, but he never comes out of Han Ou Chengzhu's world.Mr. Guowen is as big as the Republic of China, and he is a typical example of the kind who dare not read the books of the Three Dynasties and the Han Dynasty, and dare not keep the ambition of a saint.This is very good, it is the ambition of a scholar, but if you are too persistent, you will become sloppy, which is good, but bad.Occasionally, the husband would think of the open writing style of the May 4th literati. He asked us to read the records of officialdom and the strange situation we have witnessed in the past twenty years. Regarding modern Chinese literature, he only said that Qiong Yao's writing is beautiful, and the rest are novels. The family is gone. I remember that I taught Mr. Xia Ji’an’s old culture and new novels last year. I think this article is very good. It can tell a lot of things that we don’t know and have always wanted to know, especially Mr. Xia Ji’an’s criticism of May Fourth novelists. Reformed novelists will inevitably turn their works into propaganda: eradicate the old and welcome the new.Leaving aside the good and evil of the old society, what role did it play in forming Chinese people's character, imagination, attitude towards life, and way of life?These questions are ignored by the enthusiastic novelist.The greater danger is that they fan the yearning for a new and perfect society in the future.This romantic fantasy undoubtedly contributed to the promotion of communist propaganda.Even if the people who wrote those novels did not believe in communism, Ba Jin was an anarchist.Although this paragraph is about a novelist, as an intellectual, shouldn't the same attention be paid to it?We would find it strange that a person like Guo Moruo, who has learned both Chinese and Western and versatile, would finally sing "Stalin, you are dear steel!"It is the eternal sun!But recently Yu Lihua, after living in Taiwan for more than 20 years, can actually make some unbelievable remarks after going to mainland China. I believe this is not due to her lack of ability to distinguish right from wrong. Not to mention the superficial villain who followed Nixon's visit to the mainland and followed suit.This reminds us that intellectuals must not be blinded or dazzled by their self-righteous and compassionate enthusiasm. Unexpectedly, as soon as Mr. Guowen picked up this article, he would slash a few times. Mr. Xia Ji'an said: Since the May 4th Movement, an unknown number of novels written from the standpoint of opposing the old society have been produced.These books have had a great influence, but their literary value may not be as good as their historical value.Their main disadvantage is that they are not realistic enough.Mr. Guowen said: Since it is a historical novel, how could it not be true enough?One sentence stunned me, and I couldn't help but stood up and refuted a few words, but my eloquence has always been bad, and when I got excited, I was incoherent. There were a lot of empty words this and that. Fortunately, Joe raised his hand and continued to speak. Joe's expressive ability is good, and he can organize things clearly at once. Seeing her and her husband trying to explain, I can't help feeling relieved, but I feel a little nervous. sad.Even now, the vast majority of people still regard novels as purely for fun, and even more as a kind of plaything.But I always firmly believe in what my grandfather said, poetry and articles are the sound of the buds of a nation opening in the solar terms. The rise of a great era must be when literature is flourishing, so once I heard someone who was recognized by others as very talented and ambitious. The boy said, the article and these are small ways, and the only way to govern the country is to bring peace to the world. Right now, I look down on him, and look down on his short-sightedness! I always thought that the vast majority of our generation had more opportunities to come into contact with modern literature than classical things, so naturally Mr. Guowen had a great responsibility to tell us what to read after closing the Chinese textbook. What is the difference between a student who has read Qiong Yao's novels for three years and a student who has read Zhang Ailing's novels for three years?So I have been very disappointed in the two years of Chinese class. Except for Qiong Yao's novels, other modern literatures are not mentioned at all. I am very sad! I can't help but feel sad when I think of Yu Lihua. She and Liu Daren used to be two writers I liked very much.In particular, Liu Daren's big pockets are much broader and deeper than Lin Huaimin's cicadas, which also write about young people.He writes with the setting sun shining on the banner, and he is much calmer than Bai Xianyong. People say that Bai Xianyong looks down on the world with a very calm and calm eye, but I think he has been too indulging in his own romance. In an atmosphere of tragedy, especially Nostalgic Fu is the worst.Liu Daren once laughed at Taipei as a new and sloppy city. When I saw this sentence, I thought I understood his feeling of loneliness, but I didn’t expect him to sit on the representative of the Chinese Communist Party to the United Nations. It's so sad, I can't help but be more vigilant about how to carefully control myself in the next war. Except for the bad stars on the snow, Yu Lihua's works have a kind of mood.I like the growth struggle of everyone in her book and the courage to be content with the vicissitudes of life after the world changes.I will never forget Gao Xia’s state of mind when she just finished reading her book describing her four-year life in the Department of Foreign Languages, National Taiwan University. After practice, my lover walked alone on Coconut Grove Avenue, and when I was tired, I lay down under the coconut tree and sang Yesterday When I was young.Looking at the red clouds of the day reflecting the black and shaking coconut shadows, the cool wind blowing, the chuckling words of boys and girls, and the sound of birds flapping their wings, I thought of Modi who had walked on this campus , Xiuhui, Xiaotang, think that I only want to be young!As long as youth!I don't want a piece of candle tears after the flame.I waited until the grass was wet with tears before going home. I often thought that all I needed to do was lie down like that. I didn’t want school, friends, or parents. When I was in the first year of high school, I only planned to live until the age of thirty, because it was the time of youth, but I was afraid of it, because I was afraid of the desertion after the excitement, just like when I was a child, I was always afraid of watching firecrackers after the New Year. Paper flowers.I once secretly pulled out the plug of the electric clock on New Year’s Eve. At the age of nine, I had my own thoughts. I would rather not look forward to the long-awaited New Year than the second, third, and fourth day of the new year, which sounds more sparse. Voice.When I was a freshman in high school, Mr. Guowen wrote an untitled one, and I still remember a few sentences in the middle of my writing: The vigorous ambition of young people is a flourishing of flowers in Luoyang in March.However, after all, the flowers will bloom all over the mountains and valleys. The people who have achieved success are some late blooming flowers. Although they are standing branches with a little red in the green bushes, they will inevitably feel a little lonely, desolate, and bewildered in the end. Still going to fall.The conclusion is that since it is a dream of wealth and splendor, I don't even want the process anymore. Now I plan to live to be forty, maybe longer.In addition to thinking about growing old with my parents, if I accidentally get married, there must be a bond, and I have to wait to go back to our hometown in Shandong. In addition to seeing the Huanghuai Plain, I have to walk in the In the infinite sun, moon, mountains and rivers, there are endless gossips of fishermen and woodcutters.Even now, I never think that the kind of thinking in the first year of high school is naive or pessimistic.Grandpa once said that there was a sensational incident in Japan. An 18-year-old girl committed suicide in order to face such a wonderful youthful world. As for the mood of suicide, her death was also in a brilliant and endless sunshine! Progress is coming to an end.The teachers of various subjects also began to rush to give us quizzes before the term exams. Looking at today's class schedule, there are three classes in English, Numerology and Nursing.After the second period of class, Hejuer pulled Deng up from his seat without any hesitation, and went to Mingde Building to find Xiaojing. Xiao Jing came out obediently, smiling, and the four of them walked slowly along the playground without speaking.I know that Deng cares about the chemistry quiz very much, and I also know that Xiao Jing may have several tough battles today, but I am even more happy that the four of us can climb up to the top no matter what time, no matter where, and the four sides respond. The sun was covered by clouds for no reason, and the wind was cool, filling my chest full again. I said, let's swear, the little shrimp is going crazy again!Deng is type O, no wonder she can still know me calmly in the most romantic time.I smiled at her and continued my incoherent speech.Ju'er just lowered her head and smiled, she has a rare sweet face, at this moment I know that only she understands me best.I have made thousands of oaths with her, made thousands of hooks, in every place, every time, on the crimson red brick road at dusk, on the hot and crowded Hengyang Road at noon, on the fresh sea beach in the strong wind , under the kapok on Roosevelt Road, in my ice cream shop with broken bass drums, although I never remember our vows. I love to swear, just like my childhood love to make a resolution.When I was five years old, I sat on my mother's lap and raised my head and solemnly told her that I wanted to be a farmer when I grew up, because the farmers would always ride the ox cart leisurely in the dusk, stepping on the road arrogantly. road.But my mother said that I was too lazy, and a girl who wanted to sleep until the sun basked in her ass could not be a farmer.Later, I want to be a passenger, which means the lady in charge of the car. They always stand neatly dressed at the door of the car to collect and tear tickets, which is very fun. When I was eight years old, I thought I should be an artilleryman, a brave soldier, because none of the children in the neighborhood dared to play with a dragon cannon without a long beard like me.When I was about to graduate from elementary school, I was influenced by Xu Jinmu, and I wanted to go to Williamsport!When I got older, I changed it. It’s better to be a journalist, like Sheng Zhuru and Yang Chuguang, I can love to talk to Yang Qinglong, so I told him, besides reporting wrestling like Fu Xiaobo, I can also report to ice skating competitions, like Fu Daren’s glib Generally speaking, one Zhang Qing Hu San Niang. The ambition of a journalist lasted for a long time, almost until high school, although I thought about becoming a god in the middle, because I wanted everyone to live in his favorite time forever. I cried in my diary in the second year of junior high school Write it down like this.At that time, the old dog A Lang who had been raising for ten years had just died in a cool autumn. However, what I will never forget was a dusk when he was lying on a big rock protruding from the mountain against the red clouds, his mane Lifted gently by the evening wind, he is like a king, and the whole world surrenders at his feet. When I was in the third year of junior high school, I watched a deep palace feud, and I will never forget Stewart Granger's beautiful blue eyes.I fantasize that I am the little Bess who called him amazing in the cardamom age, and I am determined that I will be Elizabeth I, and I will be as powerful as her for half a century, and then I will stand on the windy hill in black, very tall , watching my subjects cheer me, but in the back of my mind is my dear and dear young lover. After reading the biography of General MacArthur, I decided that I had to be a general in the next battle.I may not be successful, but I must be lonely and tragic. I will write beautiful and sad poems, and the world will not understand me, but I still want to tell the world that veterans never die! Now, I can't make up my mind again.Although I swore to Carlo and I that I would read the news in the future, I just learned to play the guitar. I want to be Ivanhoe, the wandering bard in Aftermath. I will always be on the other side of the sunset, but I often Thinking of mathematics, thinking of counterattacking the mainland, thinking of counterattacking the mainland, I will also go to the battlefield, and it seems that the world is no longer green. Riding a horse is a tiring thing, and making aspirations is also a tiring thing, but I still don't worry. When the wind blows, I will have great ambitions again. Had a nightmare.Mom and Dad are vampires, the whole world is.My mother wanted to suck my blood, but my father was more rational and didn't allow it. Although he was also very greedy, in the end my mother died and my father disappeared for some reason. Only me and a clear sky were left.I don't know how to realize my dream, and I don't understand its meaning. I'm afraid that I will become a madman in the diary of a madman. This is a world that eats people! The last time I took a language class, and the last time I listened to American Short Stories, I will miss the girl's sticky sweet voice, the boy's abrupt voice, the warm music that makes people fall asleep, and our Mr. Luo.The English teacher in the language classroom is very beautiful. He always wears a fashionable shirt with an open neckline, a smile on the corner of his mouth, and eyes with a pair of mocking smiles. We call him Paul Newman privately.One time when I came home from school and was wandering with Juer on the road, I ran into him head-on, and I hurriedly said to him: Goodbye, Teacher Luo!Ju'er and the teacher were stunned at the moment, and after a while I remembered that my husband's surname was Xia, not Paul's Luo.Ju'er and I laughed for a whole block. Sitting on the No. 47 bus, looking at the gray and rainy weather in Taipei, it was so scary, and then thought of the fifteen-year-old suicide note.Gray rainy days often make me think about suicide and things like that, and sometimes when there are too many disturbing facts, I think about the way to die, and I never look for that way to suffocate.It may be more comfortable to take sleeping pills, but it seems that buying so many medicines at once requires a doctor's prescription, which is too troublesome!Never mind. I love sunny days and windy days very much.On sunny days like last summer, every afternoon I stepped on my bicycle and rode across the bustling Roosevelt Road to Golden Gate Street to look for oranges.I don’t know why, but after eating lunch, I have that kind of persistence, grabbing a straw hat and walking away with my bicycle, pedaling fast, the sun is chasing after me, and the big car is also chasing after me, the sweat pierces my eyes It hurts so much, the whole world has become a bright test tube on an alcohol lamp. I am a small molecule wriggling in the tube. It is dangerous. If the sun heats up by a ten-thousandth of a degree, I will evaporate and disappear. It has always been like this, and it will be like this in the future , mediocre?Anyway, I'm still young, so I can't control so many things! I always remember that summer when I shivered on the hot Roosevelt Road at noon. Last week in the Guowentang exam, today I will be silent about Bai Juyi's pipa, and it is also the second time I have memorized the text since high school after Peach Blossom Spring.My Chinese scores were always bad, especially in the first year of high school, when I was the most rebellious. My husband stipulated that the composition must be written in two full sheets, but I thought that the article should not be like this, so I deliberately submitted an article that was very short and only one. The composition of half a page, my husband gave zero marks.Later, I wrote an article with only two lines. I remember that the title was why I chose the social group, and the result was 50 points.Thinking about it later, it seemed to be my fault, and every time I took the big and small exams, I didn’t write silently, and my Chinese scores were really in jeopardy. I thought that it would be ridiculous for Chinese people to take make-up exams for Chinese, so I calmly wrote stereotyped articles, But I don't want to listen to the lectures honestly, and the same is true for silent books. I think it is a waste of youth! In the second year of high school, I was farther and farther away from Chinese, but now I feel regretful. There are still many things to read in the Chinese textbooks. Not to mention Dongpo Zizhang and poetry anthology, many places in Yuan Zicai’s essays on sacrificing his sister are also impressive. I think he is a talented person, although there are also articles written by Lu Jiashu!The author in the textbook introduced that he is serious and despises ancient poetry and prose all his life. It is really terrible, so he is not Chinese! Mr. Guowen walked by my table, probably seeing that I was not in a daze this time and was actually reading silently, and patted my head: This is a good boy.I raised my head and saw that Mr. was smiling from ear to ear, nodding his head in satisfaction.It suddenly occurred to me that the old man in the Xunqing palace was stroking his white beard, and smiling at Xuantong with satisfaction, saying that although the king is small, he is a son!Chen Baochen.I smiled and bowed my head.It's so sad, actually I respect him, but in the past two years I have offended him so rebelliously.After all, Mr. has his own way, and I am just a newborn calf.I respect him, at this moment, he taught me many things, many things that I may not learn well in my life.I respect him, no matter how old or how old I become in the future. It's the last practice session for the choir.The cat said: Brother Kui Ran has added a lot recently.Indeed, today, my husband is wearing a custard jumper and brown trousers. It is really a delicious red leaf chocolate whipped cream cake. Today, there are still not enough people, and the atmosphere is still lazy.Da Su and I still read a sheet music together, although we always bring the sheet music, and the cat comes here from the guard of honor to sing the second part.I looked around and saw that everything was as usual, which is actually good. In the future, in my memory, the singing of the choir will seem to have never stopped. Everyone sang very late in a tacit understanding, and sang all the songs from this year again.Our choir is really the most pitiful class in history. Since the national music competition in the spring of each year has been changed to class-based participation, our status has suddenly plummeted. Compared with the band of honor at school, we are more like He is an illegitimate child with a bad name, but fortunately singing is a hobby, and the choir is run by a few enthusiastic classmates. I still go with Cat and Joe, but Sue is missing, she probably drove the car.We walked silently, the avenue in front of the presidential palace was covered with dazzling headlights, and the traffic policemen were still gesturing gestures that we hadn’t understood after watching for two years. I often think of last winter, that wet, long and cold winter.Every Tuesday after singing practice, we always drag Dasu to follow us, striding forward, the four of us sing three parts, starting with Jane, this is the most emotional dance song of the Baixue Skating Troupe, We sang it like a march.The voice was trembling from the cold, but we raised our faces and breathed heavily, the hot air turned into a mist under the lamp, we were challenging this cold night.The rain in Taipei in winter is really long and cold. We always forget to bring our umbrellas. Maybe the umbrellas are put away in our schoolbags and we are too lazy to take them out.In short, after crossing the Presidential Palace Square to Chongqing South Road, most of them were already wet, but we sang more vigorously, singing: Battle Hymn of the Republic, and the singing sounded all over the street. People on the road turned their heads and smiled at us. What a group of Salvation Army who turned the tide. I will never forget the Chongqing South Road at night in December. Every bookstore is so warm and bright that I am so comfortable. There are Christmas bells, Santa Claus, and my child’s dream of Christmas socks. It was only after I sat with Xiao Su in the second year of high school that I wondered if everyone surnamed Su loves to laugh so much.Da Su met because of practicing chorus. The two of us both sang the third part. We especially like to play the game of reading scores and singing, but we are bold people with high skills, and our voices often cheat. the whole song.Xiao Su also loves to laugh. She is a slender and quiet girl, but when she smiles, she stomps her feet fiercely. Her straight and bright hair falls to her cheeks, which is very dazzling!I have been neighbors with her for a year, but we haven’t talked to her a few times, but maybe laughing is our promise. We have a good understanding, and often a small matter or a small action in the crowd, only the two of us will laugh at the same time. I can't breathe. Today, Xiao Su taught me a little trick, which made me spend my boring days.She taught me how to find a husband by adding the strokes of the other person’s name and mine and dividing by four. If the remaining one is undestined, the remaining two are friends, the remaining three are lovers, and evenly divisible is husband and wife. I took out the address book to find Husband, I found nine lovers in one morning, and the rest were all fate or friends.I couldn't help worrying, I thought about marriage, it should be when I was old, although I had my own plans when I was young, I was going to get married after all! There are only three girls in my family. I often ask my father if he feels any regrets. My father said yes, but because human beings are the spirits of all things, they must be able to transcend bloodlines and pass on traditions. My father quoted grandpa’s words, and I understand. Yes, so I have a lot to do. I love planting flowers, weeding and burning bugs with my father, and I love chatting with my mother to take care of the dogs, so they often smile and say to me: Just keep you.I said: OK.But as long as the wind is blowing, I want to fly out of this world again, and I have made a vow with Juer Xiaojing. Once in a math class, the sky outside the window was blue, and Juer sent a small note: I am going to Switzerland ,And you?I replied, France, maybe Stockholm, I want to see the green Mara Lake outside the palace.Then we asked Xiaojing, and Xiaojing said it was casual. I remember not long ago I told Huang Mei that I would die of old age in a foreign land in the future, and I couldn't tell why.Later, watching Kung Fu, after Gan tried so hard to find his relatives, he bowed deeply to say goodbye and continued his wandering around. I think I was in that state of mind. The sentence of sorrow: Looking up, the autumn clouds grow high into the sky like spring trees My friends are all healthy, but I want to wander You should trust my riding skills!hunter! I'm sewing home-style winter coats for your viewing pleasure Yes, I will stay with my parents in the distant sky, but I often think of counterattacking the mainland, so my heart will not be lost without a trace.I will go back at any time, and maybe be the first martyr, my begonia. After all, I was born in front of the Whampoa Military Academy. I love the bright red phoenix flower in the southern country, and I love the mighty revolutionary army even more. At noon, the whole class went to the music classroom, and Miss Xiao led us to sing 101 famous songs from beginning to end. Miss Xiao is our tutor and English teacher in the first year of senior high school. Her personality is very special. She also has her own unique teaching method. She will make the students with good grades better, and the students with poor grades will be worse.Seeing her coming, I can't help but think that there are two kinds of good teachers, one is to teach very hard, and the other is to be a good teacher very hard. Both have similar enthusiasm, but the former often gives students a better feeling much.This reminds me of what my grandfather said: Desire is purposeful, while ambition is an ambition without a name.I think Miss Xiao belongs to the latter kind of teacher. She has been trying too hard to be a good teacher, so that she ignores what many students really need. Now she is conducting on the podium, and the pianist is the freshman she is leading now.I don't know if there is an exam in the afternoon or something, the students sang very boringly, and only Miss Xiao led everyone to sing hard at the front, which reminded me of some frighteningly frenzied churches.I'm leaning against the wall at the back of the classroom, sad, is that all?that's all?I don't want to bid farewell to the days of 101 singing. There are too many things in that singing, too many of my most precious things. Like a cat, the cat who is singing the second part beside me, I can't bear to look at her again, the girl I used to know very well.I can imagine how her rosy lips are opening and closing at this moment, how her auburn hair is sticking back like a parrot.What a cat is a friend that I have loved, feared and hated! The first year of high school started for more than a month, and she sat next to me and said the first sentence to me: teach me to sing the theme song of "Catch the Murder", please?That's what Miss Xiao just taught us to sing in the last class.I was very nervous, and my voice trembled as I sang.It took a long time to finish singing, and when I looked up at her, she was smiling at me, her eyes were brown, and her eyelashes were long and curled. Later we got to know each other very quickly, probably because we also love to sing, she is a devout Christian, and I am also a child of God.有次她突然對我說：剛開學時我覺得你很矜持、很假。我說：真的？心頭一緊，假原是我最恨的東西，可是貓咪又是有史以來第一個句句話都能說中我心的朋友，我就信了，而且懼得一塌糊塗，我是假的、我是虛偽的。以後在她面前我立意要做得真，做得極累，還是要做，我竟忽略了人在刻意做真的過程中就已是一種假了。凡此諸般不是，有時我跟橘兒、小靜嘻笑一陣回來，貓咪會說，你真會逢場作戲！大晴天時，看看天空我對貓咪說I am so happy！她眼睛盯著我，真的嗎？lie!我恨她的自信，卻也對自己一點信心都沒有了。沒想到這些都種下了我和貓咪後來分開的種子，天知道我一向是多麼恨假的！ 我和貓咪真正的怪起來時是在高二上的秋天，正好剛看過往日情懷的時候，偏偏那首The Way We Were又是貓咪以前抄給我詞，教我唱的。我常上著課朝她發起癡來，看著她跟坐一起的鄧是愈來愈好，想她們兩人都是O型，同文同種，這學期又坐在一塊兒，真是天時地利人和！ 可是我又怨不得什麼，我們還是好好的，好得心酸。坐在光復樓的長櫃子上唱歌，一首一首的從一○一到合唱團到我們只會哼的歌，冬陽暖暖的睡在我們蓋著踡起腳的黑裙子上。我想到往日情懷中的一景，一艘白帆船斜斜的航行在波光粼粼的大海上，懶懶的陽光有著好現在的充實，卻也有中世紀古堡上一抹殘陽的滄桑，哈勃飲著酒對傑傑道，Do you remember？然後兩人仰臉大笑，啊，真真是滄桑！ 校慶的時候，操場上畫起了一道道白線，一場晨雨後，跑道上的黑土襯著白線更是鮮明。貓咪說，看那像不像往日情懷裡的校園？當下我就愣了，金綠的楓香遮著窗口的一角，的確，好像遠處當有個鐘樓，常春藤爬滿著的，人們在陽光下的嘻鬧聲。可是整個景致卻是框在光復樓的窗戶裡，一幅鑲了框的畫，多老的故事，油漆都斑駁了。 我總傷心的看著貓咪，她曾經那麼疼過我。高一的時候，我愛叛逆，突然拿起天父來批判，貓咪總是不顧一切急急的跟我傳道，我最愛閒閒的看她盡自著急。知道她是個最守規矩的學生，卻也故意挑個最嚴的公民課時拿話撩她，她果然又是紙條又是結巴的說，看嘛，就是這樣嘛，對不對？結果兩人被公民老師罵了聲無恥。 聊聊天，貓咪常突的冒出話：我就是喜歡妳現在這個天真樣！我會突的臉紅，想，無論如何要想法抓住這一刻的天真，永遠現給貓咪看。她一次說：妳做我的妹妹好不好？每每氣氛一正經我就要不對，我寫紙條問道，Wet or dry？但是往後她仍然說：妳是個小孩兒，我最會照顧孩子的。貓咪是老大，她有四個妹妹，但她從不講家裡的事。 貓咪的體育樣樣行，籃球班隊裡她是打前鋒，我則是後補，成天跟著她瞎混。練球的小週末，她常到我們家吃午飯，跟爸爸談談宗教的問題。然後我騎車載她去臺大。車過熙熙攘攘的羅斯福路，我們大聲的喊歌，也不管身上是綠制服和白熱褲。行人都回身向我們笑，連那路邊的老榕樹也投來羨慕的眼光，道，我也年輕過的！然後我和貓咪唱Yesterday Once more，用雷康尼夫的唱法，節拍快些，是種很愉悅的回憶。 貓咪的功課也很好，跟卡洛一樣在班上總是爭前幾名。我的功課則是顛三倒四，險險的升得高二後，看她和鄧兩人一起用功，我也想來讀讀，免得向隅。一回月考前跟貓咪一起留在學校看書，她們在討論數學，談吐真是不凡，我自卑的躲到角落裡看英文，英文是我頂愛的。貓咪一直在跟她們講解，她真真是個大人呀！我卻離她愈來愈遠了。 好不容易捱到總統府降旗大家才走。我陪貓咪理書包，看她真是偉大。走到走廊上她忽然吹起了口哨，吹的是A Summer Place我也跟著她吹，有回音，走廊空空的，有些爛爛的陽光掉進來，這真是一個連地球都很冷清的時候。 走過總統府前風大大的，我們還是吹著口哨。一會兒她問我，準備好了沒？我轉頭看她，她一雙褐色的眼睛滿是笑意，我想這次月考她也許能衝進前三名呢，我笑了，點點頭，貓咪又高興的笑了，我也好高興。風滿滿的灌著我的胸口。 往後只要一看到貓咪，我就會想用功，想再回到教室，趴在天父的腳前。可是我太懶了，我每天只愛和橘兒橫度大漠去找小靜，愛在紅磚路上盪，看風看雲看星星月亮和路燈。我想到我跟貓咪在一起是不快樂的，再下去我會淹死在傷心裡。決定了我就退，退，退過一個寒假，貓咪也不理我了。可是一看到她在排球場上練球我又難過，她那在陽光下橘紅的頭髮老是翹翹的掛在腦後，鄧在場邊笑得好開心：你們看死小孩！這話原該是我說的呀！ 有回小蘇病假，我代她和貓咪做值日生，兩人守著教室，她們是上體育課去了。我覺得糗糗的，就跑到隔壁的琴室去亂奏，一會兒坐不住就回教室，一鼓氣問貓咪：要不要聽我彈教父，自己找的和弦。我狠狠的咧嘴笑了笑，笑後又直後悔，這笑豈不太假？ 貓咪站在我身後，我兩手滿是冷汗，盡膩在鍵盤上，礙事得很。彈著彈著我想到孤單是在南歐陽光下的麥可。貓咪啊，貓咪，我該哭的。可是闔上琴蓋，我們竟不說話的走回教室。 貓咪，事情真真是一場夢！我累了，想睡。 這兩天又起風了，乾乾爽爽的，天空又藍又高，真不實在。是秋天，是秋天。雖然七月都還沒來，但是心怦怦的在告訴我，是秋天。 我又想去那個地方了，那是一輩子都沒有人會瞭解的，包括橘兒。雖然橘兒知道，風一起的時候，我總是會變得口齒不清。 這兩天大家都忙，橘兒在忙著提數學，鄧和貓咪更是，下星期三就要期考，連小靜我都不敢去找了。 我一看到人家在弄功課就會覺得自卑。雖然高一的時候，我常愛以平時不讀書，考前幾小時翻書來證明自己的小聰明。高二，我總故意沒睡意的躺在床上，看書包一人兀自在桌燈下冷清，想，憑什麼要將我最珍貴的三年來反覆只讀這幾本書，真是謀殺青春！但是每次考試的時候我又空虛得想哭。後來想想，大概無論什麼樣的人都該先做好他該做的事，我是學生，該先讀讀書的，本分？maybe. 今天是星期六，高二的最後一個週末了。橘兒她們都要留在學校讀，我跟橘兒說回家自己念，她說，真的，一定要讀喲。我跟她道再見，忽然又覺捨不得。每次都是這樣，放學的時候，看見橘兒的頭髮在風中揚起，我總激動得直說傻話，發些誓，讓她笑，一面笑一面打我：好噁心欸。但是我知道她懂我。 是秋天啊，旅人想回家的日子。我下了○東，踏上我熟悉的紅磚道。走幾步，停一下，聆聽自己的老皮鞋敲在紅磚路上的聲音。沒錯沒錯，我笑得收不住臉，風的日子，艷陽的日子，又是讓人心驚的秋天了。 那年幾個連著教師節的假日，我和妹妹每天都陪媽媽到臺北市立體育場賽網球。有天抽空去青康看了場喬治史谷特的忘年之愛。總忘不了那天傍晚踏出青康時的情景，天上盡是一波波滾動著的紅雲。我哭得一塌糊塗，說不出是不是為簡愛，或桑堡大火後的廢墟，或瞎了眼踽踽獨行的羅契斯特。反正就是哭，整整的哭濕了一條紅磚路。 看到棒球場，想到沈清文，想到徐生明，想到我的英雄們，忽然有種回了老家的感覺。繞過黑黑的看臺底，一踏上球場時的感覺簡直祥和得說不出，有幾個黑黑的人影正背著落日在球場上揮棒、跑壘，跟皮影戲一樣，偶爾摻雜些童稚的笑鬧聲。我走到外野的草坪上，躺下來，細細的小草搔著我的頸子，讓我想起白先勇那篇畢業裡的余燕翼頸後茸茸的汗毛。 看看天上的紅霞，想好多好多的事，其實那年才初二，卻覺得什麼都去得那麼快。那陣子家裡處了十年的老狗阿狼剛死，兒時的好夥伴老二搬了家，我在學校孤獨，又老看灰灰的白先勇小說，總覺得自己好老好老，淒涼冷清得像個沒有比賽時的體育場。 在媽媽的亞洲軟網比賽中，和妹妹認識了兩個日本選手，稻垣和山口。只記得他們都有張很紅很紅的娃娃臉，腿子好粗好多汗毛。幾天下來，我們混得很熟很好，雖然也只是他們衝我們做鬼臉，我們對他們笑，但是我知道我們真的很好，很好。爸爸笑著說我們是對小漢奸，但是不愁，告訴自己，超越國界的友誼是最值得珍惜的。 假期結束時，也是他們要回國的時候了。最後一天我們央著媽媽帶我們去看他們。媽媽和稻垣講日本話，我們聽不懂，只急切的仰頭看著他，他那麼高那麼高，講些話，就蝦個腰，聲音好好聽。又是滿天滾動的雲。他握了握我們很髒很髒的小手，再揉揉我們的頭髮就走了，消失在那個紅霞滾滾的西天裡。 那天傍晚回家時，顛顛的28路車上，晃了我一衣襟的淚。車過松山，外頭是一片漆黑，只有遠遠基隆河畔的點點燈火，被淚水汪得模模糊糊，像團團的火球，一個個忙碌的飛過天邊，真的，什麼都是會去的，然而怎麼辦，我是那樣一個賴皮的人，我只要上帝，讓每一個人都能永遠停在他自己喜歡的時刻裡，我不要長大，不要阿狼死，不要稻垣走，不要回去面對可怕的學校、冷冷的世界！ 風起的時候，我一定要來體育場，一人坐在整個空空灰灰的石階上。風會揚起我的短髮，黑裙子，和地上的紙屑。我坐一下午，或想事情或不，或哭或笑或不，都沒關係，走出體育場後，依然又是太陽底下無新事，風已吹乾了我的淚和笑。 藝術家們常愛取景一個滿臉皺紋的老頭孤單一人坐在空蕩蕩的體育場裡。我常想穿綠衫的女孩托著腮坐在那裡會是個什麼樣子，慘綠少年？卻道天涼好個秋。這種時日真是好，恣意的賴在母親懷裡，笑可以笑得好傷心，哭可以哭得好快樂。 看風看雲看夕陽，想朋友想稻垣想天父，想我海棠葉上的斑斑點點。 啊，我曾經迤邐過怎樣一條又一條紅磚路的少年淚。 今天小靜來教我數學，她人雖靜靜的，教起人來卻也沒什麼耐心，就是這樣嘛，就是這樣嘛，對不對？嗯，嗯，我猛點頭，數學真真是偉大。我看她畫了一張又一張計算紙的三角形，又實在不好意思問她，先說賽因扣賽因到底是什麼東西，拿來幹嘛的？張了口：我們出去曬太陽好不好？小靜說隨便，我們就到屋後的小山頭上坐了一上午。 小靜你看紅螞蟻。我們相視笑了笑。 我們三人，橘兒、小靜、我，曾經發過誓，只要我們三人在一起的一天，就永遠不談別人，別人就是指我們三人中任一個會有危險的男孩。十年後不談，二十年後不談，三十年後也不談，就是三人將來一起去瑞士法國斯德哥爾摩時，也要揮一揮衣袖，不帶走一片雲彩的去。 我信得過自己，卻怕橘兒、小靜，她們長得都漂亮，成天就有人干擾。朋友，朋友，是我最大最珍貴的財富，除非有一天她們不要我，我是不打算離開她們的了，宜陽說我固執，他說：如果大家夠好，那一天來臨又怎樣，也許會不再有那時死心塌地的天真，但世事曲曲折折的美麗就是如此，也許你一旦迎向它們時，你會另有一番心境，只要你不要先入為主，你會更好。我知道的呀，死生契闊與子相悅，執子之手，與子偕老。是啊，多麼傻，人那麼小的。可是世間只有少年人敢、能無視天意，所以我不管那麼多，我就是要！ 下午天悶悶的，問小靜要不要騎單車，小靜說隨便。從鄰居那兒借了一輛紅跑車給她，小靜適合紅色，但是她喜歡黃色。 真是要命，剛騎出隧道就雷聲大作，一會兒雨也叭達叭達的砸將下來，偏是這一路都是人行道和安全島，我們只好快快的騎。其實我是很喜歡淋這種晴天落白雨的，打在身上都會痛，比綿綿雨好，那種雨最是噁心。可是小靜是嬌嬌的姑娘，得找個地方躲雨。 遠遠的看到店舖了，小靜的車卻又脫了鏈，兩人真是狼狽，弄了一手黑油也扯不回去，只好慢慢的滑車，滑到店舖的騎廊下等雨停再找車行。 要是有個哥哥該多好。他一定三下兩下就把車鏈給裝回去，然後繼續領著我在雨中飛。或許他載我，載到遠遠的大街上買乖乖，也許是去看他跟隔村的男孩？ㄅㄧㄚ'籃球，他的外線奇準。或許他不載我，嫌小毛頭吃得跟條小豬一樣重，他要載女朋友，他讓她坐在前面的車槓槓上，她們的頭髮香香的，綠野香波，不是小毛頭的一蓬汗酸。他會教我跳舞，跳吉魯巴，甩得我頭暈暈的，揉揉我的頭髮：小Q，這聰的。他教我玩橋牌，說：笨死了，你！但是教完了自然制又教我精準制。他愛爸爸媽媽，穿著條破兮兮牛仔褲，我會跟人家說：我哥是建中的欸。或許說：我哥是強恕的，給學校記過兩個大過，他最那個了！好歹哥哥就是那樣一個讓人驕傲的東西。 等雨停，車修好後已經四點多了，我們還是繼續騎，騎過基隆路，不知不覺又向臺大跑了。剛轉進羅斯福路，煞車失靈了，我又忘掉每次車淋了雨都會這樣，好在兩人膽子大，沒給嚇著。 小靜說要去找孟姊姊，圖館三的，噢，有這種系。我們並騎在椰林大道，風涼涼的。小靜你將來要讀哪一系？不知道，也許我會轉回文組吧，我敞開臉笑。And you?外文吧，或許歷史，地理也好。鬼你頭，臺大文學院哪兒來的地理系。噢，這樣的呀。 這會兒突然想到聯考，那真是一樁好遙遠的事。我愛在臺大的椰林大道上騎單車，覺得就這麼騎罷，騎上一輩子。可是想來我竟還沒立過這一類的誓啊，沒立過誓要考臺大，騎四年單車，對呀，我怎麼沒發過誓，下回跟橘兒來時可要記著。 柏油路上已半濕半乾了，風涼涼的灌著人，我們跟在雲上一樣。我忽然想起吹黃玫的歌，By the Time I Get to Phoenix，我的口哨吹得奇破，主要因為音域太窄了。可是吹著吹著，整個校園都變成了鳳凰城。我跟小靜說：妳看鳳凰樹。 到了第三宿舍，孟姊姊還沒回來，我們就在會客室等。看著一個一個的女孩進進出出，她們的頭髮長長裙裾飄飄，我不禁端坐起來，她們真真是大人啊。 有個男孩子直在我們面前晃，我想他一定在等個令人頭痛心疼的女孩。他晃得我們快發昏時，女孩來了。果然，小小個子，紅格格的娃娃裝，圓圓臉，頭髮亂蓬蓬的，翹翹亮亮的紅唇，一看就是生來要磨折人的。 每看到漂亮女孩時，我就想當個男孩，我可以像欣賞一朵花兒一樣欣賞她，我的花兒們啊！小靜就是這樣的女孩，每次看到她，就希望自己是個男孩子，娶她回家，給她一個小花園。 此刻他們兩人並坐在沙發上，女孩神采飛揚在講著話，男孩看起來穩穩的，只是笑著聽，握著她的手。我一直好喜歡男孩大大厚厚的手握著女孩的小手，那會讓我也想來談戀愛，想到自己是陽光下在風中招搖的花，該有人來欣賞的。不過戀愛似乎是樁挺麻煩的事，姊姊為它哭，妹妹也為它哭。夜飯桌上，姊姊講著他會臉紅，妹妹則說：那死鬼啊。我們全家一起笑。想來孤家寡人該有些冷清，不過不愁，我有爸媽天父和秋海棠。 姊姊和妹妹都各有兩次轟轟烈烈的羅曼史。我愛趴在床上央妹妹講給我聽。那的確是一樁很不凡的事，比數學還要複雜、還要偉大。我常聽著聽著會跳起來，呆瓜，為什麼一定要那樣？這樣這樣不是很好？妹妹總笑道：哪兒是這樣，妳不懂的。我說，啊！ 五點多了，孟姊姊才回來。她是個高挑個，一隻手摟一個的把我和小靜往宿舍拖，一會兒我就覺出她是個熱情真實的人，並不是因為她的親熱舉動和高昂的語調，有人也是這樣的，可是只要缺點兒真，就顯得很官場、很虛，差很多的。 女孩的宿舍真是壯觀。我和小靜坐在床上愣愣的打量著四周，孟姊姊正忙著弄這弄那，臉頰老漾著笑。一會兒進來一個女孩，氣質好好，很靜的樣子，她也來問了聲安，我們便閒聊幾句，想不到竟扯出一大票熟人來了，她認識小舅和表舅，我則認識他們團契的一些人。小舅是神父，跟大專團契的都很熟，表舅則也是臺大合唱團的。這個女孩我原是曉得的，她名叫林白翎，是合唱團指揮，小舅曾說過我長得像她，我不禁仔細看了看她，她長得比我細緻得多，也比我堅毅、比我溫柔。不過顯然我們都一樣內向，見了生人會臉紅。 她向我問候了小舅，我說小舅前些時日才去英國南部度假。小舅是臺中一中畢業的，本是保送臺大醫科，不過他把名額讓給另一位家境貧困的同學，他自己來。臺大醫科七年畢業後，他決定了一生從事聖工，服完兵役就讀神學、法文和拉丁文。現在則到英國念書，去年正式升得神父。 我一直最喜歡小舅舅，他老帶我們上山下海，認植物講故事唱歌。我認識他有十多年了，可是他還是跟我第一次記得他時一樣，白襯衫，卡其褲，一雙大布鞋，高高的鼻子，寬寬的額頭，眼睛一轉就一個笑話。他每次總喜歡叫小洋鬼子來與他說話，因為每回我學得幾個英文單字，就愛夾七夾八的跟他講。 孟姊姊和白翎姊送我們出去時，已經天黑了。白翎姊讀的是植病，小靜在問她一些丙組的事。我也想來問問孟姊姊文學院的事，可是怕一開口又是臺大地理系什麼的要命糗事。我安靜的走著，想，這兩年來我究竟在做些什麼？發起狠來的時候，聲言要為爸爸媽媽用功，要為貓咪用功，可是就是這樣，日子過得還是一樣，我還是沒什麼概念，對未來。 我不禁想到妹妹說過的，她覺得姊姊的生命每一格都是滿滿實實的，她自己也是，不過模糊些，她的二姊則是空白幾格滿一格。初一初二時就是這般，初三時搬家轉到和平國中，我對初三的生活依然沒什麼概念，每天回家擦單車，到新居附近當探險家。後來遇到了一個好老師，我的導師張美香，她讓我做自己的主人，對自己有信心，讓我過得很單純，卻一點都不孤獨，我一直好喜歡那時的自己。初三開學沒多久就開始複習考了，考考才發覺初一初二的課本都沒有留，因為我對聯考一直沒什麼概念，每一學期結束，我就賣掉一學期的課本。這會兒呢？我不禁懷疑高一高二課本可留了幾本，我知道起碼數學是扔盡了，歷史、地理、英文呢？不知道啊，我的天，真真什麼都是一片空白。 她們送我們到校門口就走了。椰子樹在路燈下顯得翠翠的。小靜繼續的在講著丙組的事，我要恨起她來了。 蹬快了單車，迎風甩甩頭髮，我把小靜、夜和臺大拋在身後，遠遠的。