Chapter 4 three

We don't meet each other in life, but we move like participating in business. From then on, I never saw Sister Alan again; several times, I secretly asked my former friend to come to her home to find out her whereabouts, but her family members sternly refused.What's more, Sister Alan's in-law's family still insisted on retiring the engagement. Given her father's local prestige, there was no way to undo this tragedy. I heard that Uncle Zhu had secretly returned the betrothal gift to the Li family. Because of the unexplained incident between Sister Alan and me, the Zhu family also cut off contact with us. Although we are close neighbors, we are as strangers as strangers.

Of course, in this case, I am the main party involved.Needless to say, Uncle Zhu's family regarded me as his only enemy; even the people in the neighborhood of ten or twenty miles all used this incident as a source of discussion.What's more, they are even more colorful, creating many ugly rumors to ridicule me, and even hurt me viciously.Until now, I still don't understand why the peaceful and kind-hearted peasant character would be so ruthless to sow gossip! For all to see.Everyone pointed out that the situation at that time was terrible.I think, if we were to live in the society of the Middle Ages, they would treat us as adulterers and stone us to death, as the Bible says.

Oh my God!I was still a fifteen-year-old boy who didn't understand the world! During this summer vacation, I have tasted all the sarcasm, ridicule, and ridicule in the world.I experienced society as a pitiless trap, and even I developed a dislike for my family.I don't know how to explain it to others. It seems that before I can open my mouth, their sarcasm eyes blocked my mouth first. Under such circumstances, I had no choice but to hide at home; in fact, my family did not let me go out casually.I seem to have become a prisoner and should be locked up first. My father's temperament is violent, and he didn't give up on me because of this; he always wanted to find opportunities to whip me hard.However, the old grandmother was more authoritative than him. Several times, when he raised the whip, he was stopped by the grandmother's voice.

Except for looking at the wild scenery from the wall; throughout the day, I only move about in the circle of my home.In order to avoid my father's harsh eyes, I tidied up an empty room in the backyard and turned it into a small study, doing my summer homework over and over again. After all, my mother was much kinder. She thought it was because I didn’t have enough knowledge and cultivation, so she brought out the four books and five classics that my grandfather had taught her, and forced me to read them.However, when I read the first chapter of the Book of Songs, I doubted her explanation; it was clearly a scene of a young man and woman falling in love, why should it be interpreted as the virtue of the emperor, wearing a pair of clothes abruptly? What about the mask of morality?

The younger brothers and sisters still don't understand what mistake I made, but they think that punishment is the right of adults.However, they all sympathized with me.Every day, they come home happily from the outside, and they always report to me the news of the outside world; someone swims in our small river, the soybeans in the field grow up, and my uncle caught a flightless squatting bird and sent it to me. in a cage. A bird that can't fly is easily locked in a cage!In this kind of life, I experience the sadness of losing my freedom. Maybe I can't deeply understand my fault. In my mind, I still miss Sister Alan.Sister Alan's situation may be more painful than mine!She is being sent to a far place now, and in an unfamiliar environment, she may not be able to see the ugly faces of these people.But this sudden stimulation separated us so far and caused such pain, how sad she must be!

Thinking, thinking, every night I always open my eyes and think about it.When the family members were asleep, I sneaked across the low wall of the garden and walked to the lawn where I used to play games. Like a dream, I was still lingering under the big tree where I met Sister Alan.Everything is still the same!Just can't see her shadow.Looking up and looking at the familiar stars in the sky again, I feel my eyes are blurred by tears. This world is too cruel, and people's hearts are so sinister.In an instant, I felt my loneliness, and I felt even more the injustice I suffered.But to whom shall I tell!In this vast world, there is no one who can understand me; only the stars in the sky, she has not changed her old appearance.