Chapter 34 thirty three

The short winter vacation passed with ease and joy.Xiaoyudian and Yang Ziyun both returned to Tianjin, and Yanan and I were also busy rushing to school.Gathering in a hurry and leaving in a hurry, when everyone said goodbye, they felt infinitely lost. The relationship between men and women is very subtle in some places.During this semester, the relationship between Yanan and I seemed to be more estranged than usual. When we met, we were both humble and polite, and even looked at each other silently.Yanan's personality has also changed a lot, and he has also learned to frown and smile like a child.

Probably the news that Alan and Qiumen are safe has helped me a lot; in terms of mood, I am not as melancholy as I was last semester.Moreover, Yang Ziyun also relayed news about my family from time to time.I also followed his plan and wrote short letters to my mother and siblings. A month later, I saw the familiar handwriting of my family again. In the mother's letter, there is also a photo of the family reunion. Behind it is the photo of the grandmother. The father and mother are sitting side by side on two grand teacher's chairs. The younger brothers and sisters stand on both sides. mean to go back.

The whole family smiled, and even the wrinkles on the father's face were stretched.My mother told me in the letter that my father's remaining anger has subsided and he is also very concerned about my living conditions. He is planning to send a sum of money to me recently.She herself only expressed her love for her son, and regretted what she had done in the past. The mother's letter was written with great pain. At first, it was a style of four or six couples.In the end, she imitated the tone of new literature and said: Forgive us!love son!A big mistake was made by misunderstanding.Mom is old!Half a lifetime of painstaking efforts, with sour tears in my eyes, I only silently prayed to God, bless my beloved son's great maternal love, flowing from the tip of the pen.

The younger brother's letter was written very naively, full of words of praise and admiration.He once boasted these things to his classmates, and asked me if I had ever been as novel and interesting as in Robinson Crusoe during my trek. My sister is a girl after all, and the letter was written neatly and delicately.She told her family situation in detail; it turned out that my family was terrified by my disappearance, and no one dared to say a word of anger.My mother cried when she thought about it. Although my father pretended to be serious on the surface, he was actually more anxious than anyone else.

The situation didn't ease until I received a letter from Yang Ziyun's friend from Hong Kong.At that time, my father advocated sending someone to find me immediately, but my mother deliberated for a day and expressed her objection.She said: One mistake can never be repeated, only when I slowly change my mind, no one can force me to do so.If I want to go to a foreign country again, I will never see each other again for the rest of my life. When it came to the matter of Alan and Qiumen, she only told me a little information vaguely, but she made a lot of comments about my actions. She didn't understand what I meant, what I meant.After this incident happened, she became even more confused about the man's mood.She said: With Qiuming's knowledge, personality, appearance, and the affection of being a classmate for three years, I can't get my true love; and the five or six years of parting between me and Alan, just one meeting, made me decide to ask her to elope , What a childish and absurd thing this is.However, my usual opinions are not naive, and my actions are not absurd.

She questioned me even harder, and what she couldn't figure out the most was my inexplicable handling.Since I have so much courage to travel thousands of miles, why don't I have the courage to strive for a successful marriage.Although the matter was brought to light, it was time to face the reality and solve it completely. Why can't I be responsible to Alan?And why didn't I dare to confess to Qiumen?In her doubts, she thought that I was the person who knew the least about love and was the easiest to fall in love with.In the end, she got a naive and interesting conclusion from this incident, and she affirmed that all men in the world are such ridiculous and hateful fools, and women are all stupid and stupid wretches.Especially in love, women are always lonely.

I didn't give my sister clear answers to these questions, but I just told her to study hard;Moreover, I want her to comfort my mother more, and ask my father to forgive my mistakes. Sure enough, within a month, a sum of money was transferred from Hong Kong.My father also wrote me a letter.He didn't mention a word about the past, and still put on a straight face, asking me to continue my studies.In terms of dealing with people and matters, he also said a lot of truth. As for my future actions, he is not as strict as before. He basically said that the current state affairs are changing day by day. If the situation does not change, war will inevitably happen in the future.After all, the south is quieter than the north, and it is a rare opportunity to continue studying.He expressed great dissatisfaction with the parade and strike of his younger brothers and sisters who abandoned their studies.

However, the trend of the times seems to be deliberately joking with my father's knowledge.How did he know that the chaotic and impulsive environment in which I am now studying is far more than a thousand times better than the remote town in my hometown! Excluding the students from the Polytechnic Institute, who still maintain a little form of academic research, the students from the School of Grammar and Law simply put aside their books, and devote their entire energy to the work of saving the nation, and develop social activities in a very organized manner.Some professors also help students plan and instigate.

The peaceful school has turned into a surging ocean.Everyone seems to be a group of petrels, angry and hesitant on the eve of the storm, hoping to rush out in the thick fog. When the troubles of love slackened in my heart, the flame of patriotism was particularly hot. Encouraged by Yanan, I joined various publicity organizations in the school.Publish posters, distribute leaflets, write scripts, and even be actors yourself; from the stage to the street.I was busy all day, and I didn't even have time to read the manuscript. Yanan is the leader of the student union, busy with meetings and speeches every day, and writing proposals and work reports at night; sometimes representing the student union to communicate with the outside world, just like a female politician.Therefore, we seldom have the opportunity to have a long talk, and the topic of the talk is also the dynamics of the current situation. She encourages me from various aspects, and occasionally when it comes to love, she always smiles implicitly.

Of course I don't dare to fan the flames of love again, but the sincere feelings for her cannot be erased after all.This feeling seems to be an irresistible force that binds me tightly.Yes, I should repay her, repay her kindness and infatuation to me.However, I know better than to love her sincerely, there is no other good way. Every night, when I calmed down from the frenzy, these questions came back to haunt me.Emotionally, I do not deny that I have planted a deep seed of love for Yanan; this love seed has grown in an environment of sincerity, gratitude, and admiration.But intellectually, I cannot forget Alan and Tyumen.If I accept Yanan's love so casually, it will always be an irreparable guilt on my conscience.I can't even sell my soul and will in the short course of my life.Moreover, I can't deceive someone's complete heart with my broken love; yes, I can't love her, I can't deceive her, I would rather be a ruthless man than a wicked hooligan.