Chapter 3 three

Holding an empty bottle and a pair of bamboo chopsticks in my hand, I walked gently into the Hui'an Pavilion, and pushed open the door across the courtyard. As expected, there were many green insects hanging from the locust tree in the courtyard. Xiuzhen said it was a hanged ghost, like Like the silkworms of Xiuzhen, hanging from the tree with a thread spitting out of its mouth.I put the hangman strips into my empty bottle, and I go home and feed the chickens, and I can get a bottle a day.Those hanged ghosts are packed in small bottles, and they gurgle and squirm. It’s really nasty. When I hold the bottle filled with hanged ghosts, my arms often feel itchy and numb, as if the hanged ghosts have crawled onto my arms from the bottle. Actually No.

When I was putting a hanged ghost into the bottle, I suddenly thought of Niu'er, and I felt very uneasy.She was beaten again yesterday, and she came to me secretly with two clothes, and said when she entered the door: I want to find my own parents!One side of her face was red and swollen from the beating. where are they I don't know, go to Qihua Gate and look for it slowly. Where is Qihua Gate? Didn't you say you know that place too? I mean I seem to have dreamed about that place. Niu'er stuffed the two pieces of clothes into the empty box in the west wing, wiped away her tears consciously, and said bitterly:

I must find my own father. Do you know what he looks like?I really admire her, but feel like it's too big a thing. I look for it every day!I will always find my dear father and my dear mother.I know what they look like. Then I don't know what to say, because I have no idea at all. Before leaving, Niu'er said that she might leave secretly one day, but she would definitely come here to tell me first, and take away the two pieces of clothing that are here. I was thinking about my girl yesterday, and I felt very uncomfortable. I couldn’t eat at night. My mother patted my head and said:

It seems to be a bit hot, so don't eat, go to bed early. When I went to bed, I still felt uncomfortable, and I couldn’t say anything, so I started to cry. My mother was very strange, she said: What are you crying for?Where is it uncomfortable?I didn't know why I cried and said: girl her father Niuer her father?What's the matter?What is her father doing to you?Song Ma also came over, she said: That is not a thing, must have scolded us Yingzi, or hit you? no!I suddenly realized that I had said something stupid, so I cried and said, "I want to find my father!" I'm looking for your father!well!scary!Mama Song and Mama both laughed.Mom said:

Your father is going to visit your uncle today, he will come back later, you should go to bed first!She said to Song's mother again: Yingzi was born, and her father was used to it. Whenever she felt uncomfortable, her father would hug her to sleep. Shame or not?Mama Song scratched my face with one finger, I ignored her, turned my face to the wall and closed my eyes. I woke up this morning much better, not as restless as yesterday.But now thinking of Niu'er again, I couldn't help but stop the work of catching bugs, thinking blankly, I don't know when Niu'er will leave me.

I threw the bottle under the tree, got up and went to the window to look in.Xiuzhen was sitting on a stool in front of the bed in the back room, facing the bed, all I could see was her flat back, her braided hair was not done yet.She gesticulated and raised her hand to coax the flies. Actually, where are the flies?I walked into the room gently, and leaned against the table in the outer room, watching what she was doing, only to hear her say: I must know you went to bed without eating last night, didn't you?How can that work! Huh!How strange, how did Xiuzhen know that I went to bed without eating last night?I leaned against the door frame of the back room and said:

Who told you that? ah?She turned her head and saw my frowning expression, and said to me very seriously: Can someone tell me?The bowl of porridge didn't move at all!After speaking, he pointed to a bowl and a pair of chopsticks on the tea table beside the bed. That's when I realized that Xiuzhen wasn't talking about me.Ever since the weather got warmer and the closed courtyard door was opened, Xiuzhen has been going in and out of these two rooms all day long, saying things that I both understand and don't understand.At first I thought it was Xiuzhen playing house with me, but later I realized it was not a fake thing, it was too real!

Xiuzhen stared blankly at the empty bed for a while, then turned her head, gently pulled me out of the room, and said in a low voice: Asleep, let him sleep!This illness is really due to him, there is no reason for no relatives! On the desk in the outer room was the tank of goldfish bought in spring, several of them had already died, but Xiuzhen still changed the water frequently every day, and added a few aquatic plants to the glass tank, and the red fish burrowed around among the green aquatic plants. ,Extremely fun.How do I know that the fish is red and the grass is green?My mother taught me, she said that the primary school entrance examination is coming soon, and the teacher will ask about the color, where I live, and how many people are there in the family.Xiuzhen also raised a box of silkworms. She said to me:

You want to go to school, and our little Guizi should go to school too. I raised some silkworms and spun silk, so that I can put ink cartridges for Xiao Guizi. Some silkworms were already spinning silk, so Xiuzhen put them on a teacup covered with paper and let them spin silk on the paper.It's funny, those silkworms are very good, so they won't crawl under the teacup.Many other silkworms are still eating mulberry leaves. Xiuzhen was cleaning the silkworm excrement. She put the silkworm excrement into a tin can. She had saved a lot and prepared to pack it into a small pillow for Uncle Sikang.Because he needs to maintain his eyes while reading every day, and silkworm excrement can improve eyesight.

I quietly looked at the fish tank and the silk spinning.The tree in the yard was leaning against the window, and the room was very shady, neither of us dared to speak loudly, as if there was a sick person lying in the real room who was about to rest. Xiuzhen suddenly asked me: Yingzi, do you remember what I told you? I couldn't remember what it was for a while, because there were too many things she said to me that were true and false.She said that in the future, Xiao Guizi and I would go to school together, and Xiao Guizi would also be admitted to Changdian Primary School.She also told me to go home from Changdian Elementary School, walk along Liulichang to the west gate of the factory, see the pair of big deer horns in the glass window of Lei Wanchun in Lujiao Alley, turn into Chunshu Alley and arrive home.But she also said that she was going to take Xiao Guizi to Uncle Sikang, made a lot of clothes and shoes, and packed all her luggage.

I remember what Xiuzhen said most, or what she said about giving birth to Xiao Guizi.One day, I sneaked here early to find Xiuzhen, and she saw that I hadn’t even braided my hair, so she took out the hair comb box, took out a horn comb, bone needles and a big red string, and spread my hair out slowly. Comb slowly.She was sitting on a chair, and I was sitting on a small bench, sandwiched between her legs, my arms were just on her legs, and my hands were touching her knees, two bones They were all turned into sharp stones, and she was extremely thin.With my back behind her, she asked me: Yingzi, what month were you born? its me?The grass grows and the green leaves come out. My mother said, I was born in that lukewarm spring.Where's Xiao Guizi?Xiuzhen always linked my affairs with those of Xiao Guizi, so I immediately thought of Xiao Guizi. Xiao Guizi, Xiuzhen said, the grass is turning yellow and the green leaves are about to fall off. She was born in that lukewarm autumn.At that time, sweet-scented osmanthus was fragrant, did you smell it?It's as fragrant as the osmanthus oil I rubbed on you.As she said, she put her palm in front of my nose and shook it. Xiao Guizi.I sniffed, smelling the smell of oil, and couldn't help but read it word by word, as if I understood the meaning a bit. Xiuzhen happily said: By the way, Xiaoguizi, that's how she got her name. Why didn't I see the sweet-scented osmanthus tree?Which tree here is sweet-scented osmanthus?I asked. It was not born in this house!Xiuzhen was already braiding my hair, it was so tight that it hurt to pull my hair, I said: Why use so much strength? It would have been great if I had had so much strength back then. I gave birth to Xiaoguizi, and I was so weak that I fell asleep drowsily. When I woke up, Xiaoguizi was no longer by my side.I still heard her cry when I was sleeping, how could it be gone when I woke up?I asked, what about the child?What my mother wanted to say, my aunt took it, she glanced at my mother, and said to me kindly: "Your body is weak, the child is crying and noisy beside you, I carried it to my room."I said, oh.Just fell asleep again.Xiuzhen stopped at this point, my braids had already been tied, and she went on to say: As if I heard my mother say to my aunt: don't let her know.It's really puzzling, what the hell is going on?Why can't I continue here?Is it they who gave the child to?or throw?Never!Never! I have already stood up, looking at Xiuzhen, she is frowning, thinking blankly.She often stopped talking suddenly, and then said in a low voice, which is really puzzling, what happened?if.When she was putting away the hair box, I saw that the watch I gave Xiao Guizi was in the box. She picked up the watch, put it in her palm, and said: Xiaoguizi's father also had a big pocket watch, but he pawned it off after he died. He only came home after pawning that watch. Don't mention this poverty!I didn't tell him I had it at the time, anyway, he would come back in a month or so, and he told my mother, don't worry, he went home and sold the sweet potato fields at the bottom of the mountain, and came to Beijing to marry me.There are thousands of mountains and rivers, and it is not easy to go all the way. If I tell him that I have it, won't he also miss it!You don't know how deep his affection is!I didn't tell my mother that I had it, so I couldn't say it out loud. Anyway, it belongs to him, and it won't be too late to talk about it after I get married. What's up?I don't know. With Xiao Guizi! Didn't you just say that there is no more?I don't understand even more. Yes, no, no, no, Xiao Yingzi, why are you bothering me?You listen to me to calculate for you.She put away the watch I gave Xiao Guizi, and counted for me with her fingers: He left in spring.On the day he left, it was such a beautiful day. He carried the suitcase and didn't dare to look at me. Some of his classmates from the same town sent him to the door, so he couldn't say anything to me.Fortunately, when I packed his boxes the night before, we both talked about the same thing.He said that the life in Hui'an was very hard, and those who had the means went overseas to make a living. The land there was not fertile, so they couldn't grow anything, but they grew a lot of sweet potatoes.Their family eats sweet potatoes, sweet potato rice, sweet potato porridge, dried sweet potatoes, sweet potato fries, and sweet potato chips all year round, which can make people outside cry.Therefore, he was reluctant to let me, a native of the north, suffer that hardship.I said no, my mother gave birth to my only daughter, and she went to eat sweet potatoes with you, how could she be willing!He said, you are a filial daughter, and I am a filial son, what if my mother detains me and forbids me to come to Beijing again?I said, then I will chase you. Send him to the door, watch him get into the rickshaw, look up at the sky, a piece of white cloud, like a boat, slowly moving towards the horizon, I seem to be on a boat, my heart is drifting, and I just disappeared Like a master. I sent him out and came back to the house, feeling nauseous and dizzy. I regretted not telling him about it, and it was too late to chase him out. Day after day, he never came back. I had a big belly, and I couldn’t hide it from my mother. She was so anxious to question me that I couldn’t tell, but I couldn’t be ashamed, so I told everything. my mother.I said, he will come back one day, if he doesn't come back, I will go!After hearing this, my mother gagged my mouth with her hands and said, "Girl, don't say that, it's embarrassing!"If he really doesn't come back, we can't shout out, that's all, and send me back to Haidian. It was really not easy for Xiao Guizi to be born. I didn't have any strength at all, so I smelled the fragrance of the sweet-scented osmanthus tree outside the window.The grandma who delivered the baby told me to bite my braid, and tried hard, hard, and finally fell to the ground, croak, croak, how loud the cry was! When Xiuzhen said this, she took a big breath, her face turned blue, she couldn't continue the story, so she just said casually, she said: Xiaoyingzi, don't you love your third aunt? Who is the third aunt? its me!You call Sikang the third uncle, and I am your third aunt, and you can't make up for it.call me. Well, I laughed, a little embarrassed, but I still called her: Third Aunt.Xiuzhen. If you see Xiao Guizi, bring her back. How do I know what Xiao Guizi looks like? She, Xiuzhen closed her eyes and thought about it: I saw a little meat dumpling from Fendudu when I was born. When I fell asleep and passed out, I heard my mother tell my grandma, look!This is really a crime, there is a green mark in the middle of the back of the neck, it shouldn't come, but it must come, and let the king of hell poke the world with his finger when he gets angry!Xiaoyingzi, there is a finger-sized green mark in the middle of the back of the neck, that is our Xiaoguizi, remember? remember.I answered confusedly. So, she asked me now if I remember what I said, is this the thing?I replied to her: Remember, isn't it about Xiao Guizi's green diary? Xiuzhen nodded. Xiuzhen packed up the silkworm boxes on the table and said to me again: Let's paint his nails while he sleeps.She pulled me into the yard.There are several potted flowers under the wall. Xiuzhen pointed them out to me. These are mint leaves and these are nail grass.She plucked some red flowers from the nail grass and put them in a small china dish, and we sat down on the steps of the house.She was gently pounding the safflower with a piece of rock sugar.I ask her: Is this something to eat?Add rock sugar? Xiuzhen laughed heartily and said: Silly girl, you just know how to eat.This is alum, where did the rock sugar come from!Just watch it. She smashed the red flowers and asked me to reach out, and took a clip from my head, picked up the rotten thing, piled it on my nails, and told me not to touch it with open hands after they were piled up. , she said when they dried, my fingernails turned red, like hers, and she held out her hand to show me. I opened my hand for a while, already impatient, and I said: I'm going home. You must break it when you go home, don't go, listen to me tell you a story.she says. I want to hear the story of my third uncle. Keep your voice down, she waved her hand to me, and said softly, let me see if he wakes up first, and if he wants to drink water.She went in for a while and came out again. After sitting down, she put her hands on her thighs and supported her chin, and suddenly she became dazed towards the locust tree. Say it!you.I said. She was taken aback, huh?It seems that he didn't hear my question, but tears fell down, and he said, no one is there, no one!old!small! I didn't say a word, and she cried for a while, sobbing, and then she took a big breath, looked at me and smiled, that tear pit!I felt like I had seen Xiuzhen, this face somewhere. Xiuzhen wiped away the tears with her fingers, and took my hand and put it on hers, so that I could relax and not feel tired when I opened my hand with painted nails.She turned sideways again and looked at the gate across the courtyard, as if she was looking at someone.She said to herself: It was at this time that he came, and moved into the hut with a roll of bedding and a suitcase.He was wearing a gray coat with a pen pinned to the lapel.I haven't finished cleaning the house yet!Father led him in and told him that the houses in the main courtyard of the guild hall are full, and the second master of the Chen family asked you to vacate these two huts.He said: OK, OK, that's fine.Dad unpacked the luggage for him and spread out the thin and old quilt. I thought to myself, how could he survive the cold weather in Beijing?Xiaoyingzi, a student living in the guild hall, how many rich are there?The rich lived in apartments.My father often said, back then, the second master of the Chen family came to Beijing to take the exam, and he brought a small reminder to serve the pen and ink!The second master won the election and became an official in Beijing, so he renovated this guild hall. Up to now, when poor students come to Beijing to study, they always talk to the second master.The second master said that Sikang was a hard-working student in their village and could read well, so he asked us to clean up the two huts where the coal piled up for him to live in. I was still rushing to clean the glass, so I didn't look him in the eye.My father said to him, this quilt!Can't survive the winter.Dad really likes to meddle in other people's affairs, so he must have been embarrassed, so he went on and on without saying anything.Dad asked him which school he was in, and he said he was in Peking University, drink!My dad said again, this trip is not close, I went to the beach!But a good school! Dad helped him pack those pieces of broken luggage and went out. Before leaving, he saw that I was still cleaning the glass, and he said, that's all right, girl.I followed out and looked back at him, who knew he was looking up at me too!My heart skipped a beat, and I almost fell over the threshold!Look at his appearance, how deep are his eyes!Before you see him clearly, he sees through you.When I came back to the house, I ate and slept, with his two eyes that looked at people like that before my eyes.This is fate. There are so many college students coming and going in the hall throughout the year, why I just cough! Xiuzhen's face was slightly flushed, and she raised my hand to see if my dyed nails were dry. She gently blew on my nails, her eyelids drooped, and her eyelashes were like a row of small curtains. She asked me: Xiaoyingzi, do you understand?fate?She didn't necessarily want me to answer her, and I didn't intend to answer her, but I just thought in my heart that there is someone with such long eyelashes, and I thought of my crying friend in the West Wing.Xiuzhen went on to chatter: I bring him boiled water every day, which should have been done by my father.Twice in the morning and evening, we boiled a large pot of boiling water and sent them to each room to wash the gentlemen's face and make tea.Dad is used to walking around the main courtyard, so he forgot about crossing the courtyard.Sometimes Sikang would come down to our window to ask for it.long class.He just yelled softly, is there boiling water?Dad just remembered, and hurriedly sent it to others.Sometimes my father would think of it before he was called, but he was too lazy to go, so he sent me to go.After going back and forth, this errand to deliver boiled water across the courtyard seems to be the one I should do. I delivered the water without saying a word to him. I entered the room, and he was sitting at the desk, reading and writing with the light on. I heard the sound of boiling water being poured into the pot.He was so timid that he didn't even dare to look sideways, and just sat with drooping eyelids.One day, I was so fresh, I took a step forward, leaned forward slightly to see what he was writing, but he also turned his head and said: Can you read?I shook my head.From here on, the two of us talked. Where was Xiao Guizi at that time?I suddenly remembered this person related to Xiuzhen. she!Xiuzhen smiled, but there is no shadow yet!By the way, where did Xiao Guizi go?Did you find it?Is that the lifeblood of both of us?I haven't finished talking to you yet, but one day he took my hand, just like I held yours, and said: Follow me!He drank some wine, and I was also confused. He drank to keep warm. There are two rooms, and a small fire is lit.That day the wind was quite strong, and the door frame slammed. My father and mother went back to Haidian to collect the land rent, and asked my aunt to accompany me. She fell asleep, so I slipped into the courtyard.His face was hot and pressed against mine, he said a lot of words, the smell of alcohol suffocated me, and I got drunk after smelling it. He often likes to drink some wine to drive away the cold, so I secretly bought half-empty peanuts and brought them to his room to serve him wine.The north wind beat the window paper like a flute.I held his hand, the two of them were warm, and they were no longer cold. He was sick, and I ran back and forth, but I couldn't hide it from my mother.That day I was carrying porridge and wanted to give it to him. Mom said: Avoid suspicion, girl, do you understand?I didn't say a word. From Xiuzhen's eyes, I seemed to see Uncle Sikang lying on the bed in the back room; his hair was disheveled, and he had no energy to drink or eat, so he hummed. and after?are you done?I couldn't help but ask. How did you go?I'm about to fall over!It turned out that it was Xiao Guizi who came! Where?I turned back to look at the Kuanyuan gate, but there was no one there.In my fantasy, there should be a girl standing by the gate of the courtyard; red-flowered shirt and trousers, a yellow braid like a dog's tail, big eyes, and a row of long eyelashes like a small curtain, twinkling and twinkling, in my fantasy. Wave to me!I was a little dizzy, as if I was about to fall down. I closed my eyes and opened them again. There was indeed a shadow on the other side of the door. It was getting closer and closer. It turned out that something so big was Xiuzhen's mother looking at me. Beckoning, she said: Xiuzhen, why do you let Xiaoyingzi bask in the old man's bed? There was no sun here just now.Xiuzhen said. Move away, isn't there shade here?Xiuzhen came over and pulled me up. The phantom disappeared in my eyes, and I suddenly remembered the story that Xiuzhen had not finished telling.I said: Girl, no, where is Xiao Guizi?What did you just say? Xiuzhen laughed and pointed at her stomach: Here it is, not yet born! Xiuzhen's mother came here to hang clothes in the yard.A rope was drawn from the branch to the wall, and she was hanging pieces to dry. Xiuzhen looked at it and said: Mom, hang your trousers against the wall, it's not suitable for Sikang to go in and out. Wang Ma scolded and said: screw you! Xiuzhen was not angry when her mother scolded her, but said to me: My mother also loves Sikang, she told my father, we don't have a son, you old man has never been educated, it's a good thing to have someone who can read and write in our house.Only then did my father agree.Where did I just say that!Oh, he is fine, am I not sick?He said that it was he who caused me, didn't he say that he would marry me and teach me to study?At this time, a telegram came from his home, his mother was ill, and told him to go back quickly. Xiaoyingzi, Wang Ma suddenly stopped Xiuzhen and said to me: Why do you like listening to her nonsense so much?It's really weird, children are afraid of her, and avoid her, but you don't. Mom, don't disturb me, I haven't finished talking here!I still have something to ask Xiaoyingzi! Old Wang Ma ignored her and just said to me: Xiaoyingzi, it's time to go back, just now I heard Mama Song calling you in the alley, I dare not say you are here. After finishing speaking, Old Wang Ma took the empty basin and left.Xiuzhen saw her mother walk out of the gate of the courtyard, and then said: "Sikang's going, she counts with her fingers: it's been more than a month, it's been more than six years, no, I'll be back in a little more than a month, No, I will give birth to Xiao Guizi in one month. Whether it is six years or more than a month, Xiuzhen is as unclear as I am.At this time, she picked up my hand to have a look, and picked off the dried rot on the nails, oh, my nails are all red!I was so happy that I laughed and played with my hands. Xiaoyingzi, she said again in a low voice: I have something to ask you. When you see Xiaoguizi, call her and go find her father together. If we find her father, I will be cured. What disease?I looked at Xiuzhen's face. Yingzi, people say I'm crazy, do you think I'm crazy?Crazy people are picking things up all over the floor to eat and beating people. How can I be a lunatic? Do you think I am crazy? No, I shook my head, really, I just think Xiuzhen is so cute, so pitiful, she just wants to find her Sikang and Niuer, no, Xiao Guizi. Why can't they come back?I asked again. Si Kang must have been detained by his mother.As for Xiao Guizi, I also wondered what happened, she wasn't in Haidian, or in my aunt's house.When I asked, my mother became anxious and said: Throw it away!Why leave such a barbarian seed?He's not coming back anyway, what a scam!As soon as I heard it, I passed out immediately. When I woke up, they said I was crazy.Xiaoyingzi, I will entrust you with all my trust. When I see Xiaoguizi, I will bring her here. I have everything ready. Let's go back. I was stunned, there seemed to be a picture in my mind, and it was getting bigger and bigger, and my head felt a little uncomfortable, so I agreed: good, good.While running out of the courtyard and Hui'an Pavilion, kicking small stones all the way, looking at the red nails on my hands, I returned home.