Chapter 21 twenty

Sunlight came in through the old glass windows and shone on the yellowed white wall opposite. Time seemed to freeze, and there was no sound at all. Jiang Xiaofeng was sitting in front of the piano, propping his cheek in one hand and holding a pencil in the other. The area between his eyebrows was frowned into a small hill.And the few pieces of paper that were written on the piano were still blank. Last month, he wrote a letter to his good friend Lin Xinrong in China, saying that he would go back with Zhiyun to promote our song in the future, and asked Lin Xinrong to find a group of music-loving friends to cooperate with.Lin Xinrong heard back a few days ago, greatly admiring his plan and ambition, saying: Of course we have to cooperate, isn't it our boyhood dream to create the voice of the Chinese nation?We have to make it happen, we want to awaken the national consciousness of ordinary people. Lin Xinrong wrote a long letter, and finally asked him to send our song he had composed to him for reading.

Since he started his Ph.D., composing music has become his sideline job. After so long working as a coolie at the airport, this work has almost stopped completely.Of the 20 songs originally scheduled for the first episode of Our Songs, only eight were completed, and only four of them had lyrics. Zhiyun, the main collaborator, always said that he was busy with homework and was not enthusiastic about writing lyrics at all.It's not good for him to rush her too much.But now Lin Xinrong asked him for our song, but he couldn't produce it.I don't know what words to answer?Could it be that he clearly told Lin Xinrong that he had changed his mind and would not go back?Or simply say: creating your own voice, singing our songs, it's all nonsense, don't take it seriously, he has given up?How would his friends be disappointed if he said that?And he himself was ashamed to say so.Ever since he agreed to Zhiyun to stay abroad, his whole body seemed to have been pulled out, and he was so painful that he even lost the strength to create.He has been sitting here for a whole morning, trying to compose our song, but he still has no inspiration, his brain seems to be filled with lead, heavy, dull, and he can't produce a single note.

He is not afraid of pain, and it is not that he has never experienced pain. However, such deep pain only happened when he was a fourteen-year-old boy and his mother abandoned him.Even Wei Wei didn't feel such deep pain when he transferred his love to someone else and suddenly abandoned him to marry someone else. When he was awake late at night, he once asked himself: What about my ideals?What about my ambitions?What about the pride of those who are not afraid of difficulties, only ask about hard work, not about harvest?I have said so many big words, but I ended up hiding here and living a peaceful life with the one I love, am I not ashamed?Am I worthy of myself?Self-blame swelled in his chest.He has lived so long, the most important thing is to create his own voice, and his only goal is to make all Chinese people sing his own songs.Now that he has given up on it, his life seems to have been hollowed out, life has become a purposeless burden, and he feels like a tree that has lost the sun and is tending to wither.

Jiang Xiaofeng was startled, deep in thought.He didn't even hear the sound of footsteps on the stairs.It wasn't until the blind and weird old landlord man limped up to him that he was startled. What are you thinking, lad?I can't hear you, are you sick?Why do you look so bad?Are you missing your beautiful and sweet girlfriend?Don't worry!I guess this is her letter, the old landlady said in a long-winded manner.He took his hand from behind his back and handed him a letter. Jiang Xiaofeng looked at the handwriting, it was not really from Zhiyun. It's all right now, don't you worry?The old man is still talking.

No, no.Jiang Xiaofeng responded indiscriminately.I thought: How do you know what is on my mind?I was so bored that I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs and tear down your broken house. The old man muttered for a while, and finally went down. Jiang Xiaofeng opened the letter and took out the two photos first.One is full body. She is wearing a white suit, a white hat, and white gloves, and she is shoveling beans with a small shovel.The other one is half-length, with big black eyes staring at him, and a smile on the corner of his mouth, still with the same three-pointed and seven-point delicate appearance.He stared at the photo for a long time, and the sorrow on his face finally relaxed slowly.Zhiyun, only you, only you, will make me give up my wish for many years.

Looking at her letter, she wrote a large article in beautiful small characters.Xiao Feng, for our bright future, I am not afraid of suffering, so affectionate words! You are not afraid of suffering!But only in foreign countries, right?Zhiyun.Jiang Xiaofeng sighed silently.Put away the letters and photos. This letter, like a shot in the arm, made him find the solution to his original contradictory psychology: between ideal and love, he still prefers to keep love, ideal?Had to stop thinking about it for now.This thought made him feel ridiculous, and love was terrible.Is it true that love and ideals must be in conflict?It was with Wei Wei then, and it is with Zhiyun now.Wei Wei said it well: Ideals cannot be eaten.After all Zhiyun is purer and kinder than Wei Wei, she told him plainly: she loves him and his ideals, but she can't devote herself to it, she can't go back with him.

These days he hated his own vulnerability, seeing that he was a complete fool in the field of love, always led and teased.He always thought he was ambitious and ambitious.Looking at it now, he is nothing more than a ridiculous character who loves his sons and daughters and has a stomach full of fantasies.It's not that he hasn't struggled before. The old Chinese saying: Slash the love thread with a sword of wisdom has appeared in his thoughts several times. He even thought, just leave everything behind and go back to China.Since she has made it clear that she is absolutely unwilling to go back, why is there any need to procrastinate here?But after much deliberation, he still couldn't make up his mind. He loved her, couldn't let her go, and couldn't do without her.In his heart, he snickered at himself, thinking that he was like the handsome, talented and passionate heroes in popular novels that he always looked down upon, a captive of love, a lover, a soft man who would sacrifice everything for love .

Since you have to be such a person, you have to do it well. The most important part of this is to get the title of doctor.In order for him to finish his degree quickly, Zhiyun was willing to go to Sweden to do hard labor. She was too kind to him, and he should not let her down, and should do what she asked him to do. Jiang Xiaofeng thought about it wildly, picked up a big kraft envelope on the table, ran downstairs vigorously, and walked towards the university library with big strides. He copied some materials, borrowed a few more books, and stayed in the library for a long time. He was packing his things and was about to leave when someone patted him heavily on the shoulder.Turning around, I saw Xie Jinchang who had finished two books standing behind him.

Huh!you are here too Let's borrow two books on history.Xie Jinchang said awkwardly, as if his coming to borrow books was something shameful.Are you done?Do you want to go together? Let's go together!Jiang Xiaofeng said.The two walked out of the library building together.Do you come to the library often?Today is the first time I met you. Xie Jinchang just smiled and didn't answer.After a while, he said slowly: Usually, I never go to the library. I do go during the school holidays. Why do you have to go on a holiday?Jiang Xiaofeng felt strange. Usually there are too many people, and you will meet those Chinese students.Xie Jinchang said with his head down.

You don't like meeting Chinese people?Jiang Xiaofeng didn't understand anymore. It's not that I don't like to meet, it's that I don't like to meet in the library.Da Jiang, think about it, what will people think when they see me go to the library?Will it be funny?I must say behind my back: This stupid guy who has never been able to read a book in his life is still not giving up!Still come to work hard!Xie Jinchang laughed at himself twice. Lao Xie, your mentality is really bad. You seek knowledge for yourself, so what do you care what other people think?Jiang Xiaofeng immediately retorted disapprovingly.

That being said, if you were replaced by me, you wouldn't be so open-minded. Old Xie, you can't finish math, why don't you go back and study history?Jiang Xiaofeng suddenly remembered this idea.Xie Jinchang shook his head, gave up and said: I don't dare to have these thoughts anymore, what else should I read?Almost forty years old.Just hang out like this! Old Xie, you are sick, why can't you study at the age of forty?At least it's better than you messing around like this.If you are not good at studying mathematics, it will be different if you return to your own profession and study history.Jiang Xiaofeng looked at Xie Jinchang encouragingly. forget it!I gave up.Xie Jinchang dragged his voice resentfully. Jiang Xiaofeng stopped talking.The two walked near Marlene Square, Xie Jinchang said that he was thirsty and wanted something to drink, Jiang Xiaofeng agreed, so he found an empty table at the open-air cafe.That playful-looking young waitress with a small white apron tied around her waist immediately came to ask what she wanted? I want a cup of lemon black tea, old Xie, what do you want? I'd like coffee with cream and a piece of strawberry cake.Da Jiang, what kind of snack would you like? I just want tea, nothing else. I eat whenever I can. If I don’t even dare to eat it boldly, I can say that I don’t even have the slightest pleasure in my life.Xie Jinchang laughed at himself again. If you eat more, your belly will get bigger.Don't you always think you have a big belly? never mind.No matter how big or small my belly is, no girl will fall in love with me anyway, so I don't care about it long ago. As he said that, the things had already been served, Jiang Xiaofeng sipped his tea slowly, Xie Jinchang admired the piece of strawberry cake very much. It tastes really good, Dajiang, you can come too. No, I don't want to.Jiang Xiaofeng shook his head disinterestedly. Dajiang, is there anything unsatisfactory for you recently?I see that you are not as lively as usual, do you have something on your mind?Xie Jinchang's eyes never left Jiang Xiaofeng's face, he was studying him. What's on my mind!In fact, Xie Jinchang's words aroused his thoughts. Is there any letter from Yu Zhiyun?Xie Jinchang asked with concern. Jiang Xiaofeng nodded and didn't speak, that made Xie Jinchang think that he must have broken up in love. Wanting to open up, my brother Xie Jinchang stopped suddenly before he could finish his sentence.Dajiang, I think let's go quickly!he said eagerly. hurry up?Why?Jiang Xiaofeng looked at Xie Jinchang in confusion, and then followed his gaze to look forward, only to see He Shaoxiang carrying a leather bag and two foreigners were about to come to this coffee shop. Why are you avoiding him?Jiang Xiaofeng looked at Xie Jinchang in confusion. I am most afraid of meeting He Shaoxiang face to face, he is too knowledgeable, once I see him, I feel worthless.I don't think it's good to say hello to him, or not to say hello. I'm so embarrassed, I think we'll get away soon.Xie Jinchang was already bent over to stand up, but Jiang Xiaofeng stretched out his hand and pulled him to sit down again. Old Xie, I don't agree with your attitude. You are human if you are educated or not, so you don't have to feel inferior.Jiang Xiaofeng said a little angrily. You don't know, once I met someone across the street, and I greeted him with a smile. His indifferent and indifferent attitude really made me sad. Who told you to greet him with a smile?There was no sympathy in Jiang Xiaofeng's tone, only a cold smile at the corner of his mouth.Then he said: Do you think he only treats you indifferently?He also has that contemptuous face towards me.But I don't care, this kind of person who looks down on his compatriots and thinks he is superior to others, I still look down on him! Just as he was talking, He Shaoxiang and the two foreigners came over talking and laughing, and happened to pass in front of their table.As expected, He Shaoxiang turned a blind eye and didn't intend to say hello.Jiang Xiaofeng drank his tea indifferently, vaguely feeling that He Shaoxiang's eyes fell on the ring of the hand holding the teacup.Xie Jinchang lowered his eyelids, and after He Shaoxiang and the two foreigners passed by, he said softly: Did you hear that?They speak English, and those two foreigners are from abroad, alas!Needless to say, He Shaoxiang has reasons to be proud, he is an international figure.Xie Jinchang sighed in admiration. Jiang Xiaofeng heard that He Shaoxiang was discussing something with the two foreigners two tables away.He raised his head and looked over there, but he didn't expect that He Shaoxiang was also looking over here.But before the two people's eyes met, He Shaoxiang immediately turned his head away. He Shaoxiang was looking this way just now, maybe he still wanted to say hello to us.Xie Jinchang was quite complacent. He wasn't looking at us, he was studying why Yu Zhiyun wasn't here?He wondered if Zhiyun blew up with me!Jiang Xiaofeng whispered, with that sneer still on his lips.let's go!He pulled back his chair and stood up. Walking to the street, Xie Jinchang said: I have to go to a restaurant, where are you going? I went back and devoted myself to my thesis.Jiang Xiaofeng patted the book in his hands, curled his lips, and walked away. Jiang Xiaofeng guessed right. He Shaoxiang was really researching how the relationship between him and Zhiyun was going.This was the second time he met Jiang Xiaofeng recently, and Zhiyun was not there both times, so he really suspected that they were blowing up.Following this idea, what came to his mind was the platinum ring on Zhiyun's hand. He really wanted to know what that meant?Seeing Jiang Xiaofeng gave him an idea, he thought: I should pay attention to his fingers, if he didn't have the same ring as hers, it would undoubtedly mean that the relationship between them was over.Then, before going to Switzerland to take up his new position, he would go to see Yu Zhiyun to say goodbye to her and tell her about his new position.Of course, he had to tell her about his recent acquisition of German citizenship. He Shaoxiang actually saw the exact same ring as Zhiyun's on Jiang Xiaofeng's finger.This disappointed him so much, and even changed his impression of Zhiyun.Thinking that this girl has no value concept, short-sightedness, and someone who can be engaged to Jiang Xiaofeng is not worthy of He Shaoxiang. He told himself again that he must make up his mind to forget her. He Shaoxiang's new position is to be the leader of a group at the Institute of High Energy Physics near Zurich, Switzerland.He has worked in Kaslu's research institute for many years. Because of his outstanding work achievements and being highly valued, and he doesn't like changes, he was very hesitant at first and didn't really want to change his environment.The problem is that this institute located in Switzerland is the latest establishment. It is jointly established by several scientifically advanced countries in Europe. It is one of the largest physics research institutions in the world today.Since Clement went to Switzerland, there was a vacancy for the director of the Castro Institute, so regardless of seniority or work performance, he should always be the successor. The result was beyond He Shaoxiang's expectation. After the publication, the new director was Dr. Conke who entered the institute two years later than him. Leaving aside his seniority, in terms of knowledge, reputation and performance, Conke can be said to be half as good as him.This incident made He Shaoxiang very discouraged, and it happened that Professor Clement invited him to Switzerland so sincerely, so he happily agreed. S． C, you know, I'm going to take charge of the affairs, no matter what, I can't do without you, you are the top in your job.Think about it, I am nearly sixty years old, and I will retire in a few years. At that time, you will naturally take over this position.Clement said so. uh do you think so?professor.He Shaoxiang's mood was very complicated, a little excited and a little suspicious.He thought: Since I can be the director of that large-scale research institute in the future, why can’t I be the director of Kaslu’s research institute?Although he just thought about it and didn't say it out loud, Professor Clement also understood what he was thinking. For the lack of Kaslu, I originally recommended you.However, S. C, your disadvantage is that you have no German nationality. Dr. Conker is German, so they chose him. Oh I know.He Shaoxiang responded implicitly and didn't say much.Foreign friends who know him well know that S. C．He De is very humble and easy to deal with, never argues with others, and doesn't talk too much.They called him Mr. Nice Mr. S． C, really, please believe me, you must have a chance, you are about to get German citizenship, once you have German citizenship, you are a European, and you have equal opportunities with everyone.For example, in our institute there will be scientists from England, France, Switzerland, Holland and our own Germany, all of them are the same, but in terms of achievements and reputation, no one can compare with you, and you must inherit me in the future.Professor Clement said with certainty. Professor, your analysis is really thorough.He Shaoxiang's disappointment gradually receded, but the bright future became more and more obvious and closer.For many years he followed Professor Clement, and Clement was his teacher. He had always been respectful and obedient to his teacher. Since Clement needed him so much, he would want him to be his successor in the future, and he was unwilling to work under Dr. Conker.In this way, he decided to leave Germany. These days, he is ending his work in this area, the rent of the house has been refunded, and the class at the industrial university has also been resigned.His plan is that in the new environment, in such an international organization with people from all over the world, he will not be able to be compared with others. He will concentrate all his energy and wisdom on performance and innovation, and in the academic field. , to the next level. S． C．He has never been an obscure name, he wants to make it louder and wider.To let them know, S. C．He is qualified to be a European.In the future, I will be convinced and give him the position of director. In the academic field, He Shaoxiang has always been a brave warrior.Now that he is facing new challenges, he is not afraid. Science was the pillar of his life, the goal of his lifelong research, and the greatest joy in his life.He is welcoming a new beginning with a happy mood. On the third day after Jiang Xiaofeng and Xie Jinchang met him, He Shaoxiang left Munich. When he was leaving, he made up his mind again to get rid of Yu Zhiyun completely from his life, and he would never be tempted by women again.Women specially tortured him to make him ashamed. A man like him, He Shaoxiang, who pursued Yu Zhiyun for so long, made it known to everyone but got nothing, isn't it embarrassing?How lovely is science!Give him not only fun, but also honor and pride.Still concentrate on loving science!