Chapter 6 The seventh↓tenth technique: Speak appropriately

What does it mean to be well-spoken?It is to express one's thoughts and intentions accurately and vividly in a conversation with incisive language.Whether one speaks properly is a measure of a person's ability to speak. At the end of 1986, Chen Jinxing kidnapped the family of the South African military attache in China. Reporters from various cable and wireless TV stations took advantage of this rare meeting and talked with him by phone.The group of reporters said a lot of inappropriate things in order to grab this exclusive news. For example, a reporter from China TV finally got hold of this hotline, and after running out of words, he blurted out: Will you commit suicide?When did you kill yourself?

How to speak properly? The Seventh Technique ◆Ⅰ: Speaking with foresight varies with different objects Speaking must be predictable, and it varies with different objects.For example, if you ask someone's age, it is not advisable to say to the old man: How old are you?And it's better to say: Are you living a long life this year?Or what is your advanced age?It is not advisable to say to young children: How old are you?Instead, say: How old are you?For middle-aged people, especially unmarried men and women, you should not ask him (her) directly: How old are you this year?So as not to arouse people's suspicion and resentment.

In "Three Kingdoms", there is a story about Kong Ming's envoy to the state of Wu, aiming at the characteristics of Wu Wang Sun Quan's self-esteem, he persuaded Sun Quan with appropriate words to send troops to fight against Cao Cao. It was the thirteenth year of Jian'an (AD 208), Cao Cao led his troops to march south, Liu Bei's army was defeated and retreated to Fankou.At this time, the only way for Liu Bei to come back to life was to quickly try to join forces with Sun Quan, who was entrenched in Jiangdong and was watching the development of the situation, to fight against Wei.

Kong Ming took the initiative to ask Wu to persuade Sun Quan. Kong Ming adopted the aggressive method and said to Sun Quan: When the world was in chaos, the general stationed troops in Jiangdong, and Liu Bei dominated Hannan, competing with Cao Cao for hegemony.Now that Cao Cao has many soldiers and great power, his prestige spreads far and wide, even if he is a hero with three heads and six arms, he can't help it!Therefore, Liu Bei was in trouble.I hope that the general will carefully evaluate his own strength and make corresponding adjustments to the current drastic changes in the situation.If the general thinks that your country's military strength is strong enough to resist Cao Cao, it is best to break off diplomatic relations with Cao Cao immediately and fight it out.If you think that you are no match for Cao Cao, you should simply surrender your arms and bow your head to Cao Cao.

After hearing this, Sun Quan felt that his self-esteem was hurt, and asked angrily: If it is really like what you said, why didn't Liu Bei bow his head to Cao Cao? When Kong Ming saw that the words were appropriate, he wanted to add fuel to the fire and said: General, have you heard the story of Tian Heng?Tian Heng was a strong man of the Qi State. Because of his loyalty, he refused to serve Han Gaozu, and finally committed suicide to die for the country.What's more, Liu Bei is not only a descendant of the Han Dynasty, but also heroes from all walks of life admire his leadership skills and gather under his command.How can such a person serve Cao Cao?

After Kong Ming's incitement, Sun Quan's self-esteem swelled up, and he shouted: I own a large territory and an army of 100,000, and I will never be ordered by Cao Cao!I decided to fight him to the end. Kong Ming's tactful words aimed at Sun Quan's strong self-esteem and gave him a strong shock.As a result, Sun Quan was persuaded to join forces with Liu Bei to attack Cao Cao, and finally the Battle of Chibi, the biggest war in the Three Kingdoms period, broke out.Liu Bei was finally freed from the predicament. The eighth technique ◆Ⅱ: Speak with a purpose and be targeted Here is an excerpt from a conversation in which the British science giant Faraday persuaded Sir David to become his assistant with sharp words:

David: Sorry, our conversation may be interrupted at any time.However, Mr. Faraday, you are lucky that the instrument has not exploded at this moment.I have read your letter and notebook, and it seems that you did not specify where you went to university in the letter. Faraday: I didn't go to college, sir. David: Oh?From your notes, you clearly have the ability to understand all this, so how do you explain that? Faraday: I learned everything I could, and experimented in a laboratory I had set up in my room. David: Well, I'm very touched by what you said.But science is too hard, and great efforts are made, but only a meager reward can be obtained.

Faraday: But, I think, as long as you can do this job, it is a reward in itself! This conversation is very exciting and interesting.It can be seen that Sir David emphasized the hardship of scientific research and the price must be paid; while Faraday expressed his strong desire for knowledge and persistent pursuit of science.As a result, Faraday was exceptionally accepted by David as his assistant, achieving his goal.If one of them only emphasizes education and the other is greedy for money, then it must be the opposite! Ninth Technique ◆Ⅲ: Speak with flexibility and say different things in different situations

When an ambassador from France was serving as a minister to the United States, he participated in a ball held by envoys from various countries. The dancer with him was an American lady. The American lady asked him: May I ask Mr. Ambassador, do you prefer Miss America?Or Miss France? How to answer the question posed by the Miss America in such a public place?If you say you like Miss America, it will hurt the ambassador's self-esteem, and if you say you don't like Miss America, it will hurt Miss America's self-esteem.The wise ambassador immediately replied: Whether it is Miss America or Miss France, as long as it is beautiful, I like it.

This sentence not only took into account the self-esteem of Miss America, but also did not humiliate herself. It was suitable for the occasion, decent and interesting. The tenth technique ◆Ⅳ: Speak in an orderly manner so that there are clear layers and echoes before and after No matter what things in life, although intricate, can always sort out a clue.If we want to speak clearly in an orderly manner, we must consider the order of what we want to say, what to say first, then what to say, and what to say last.Never say one sentence east, one sentence west, one sentence before, and one sentence after, so that people can't make sense of it.

"Historical Records" records that in the Spring and Autumn Period, Yan Ying, the prime minister of Qi State, was a man of good speech. When he made a statement, he analyzed it in detail and matched it from beginning to end. No one would not admire him.Once, he went to visit the state of Lu.Duke Ai of Lu asked him: As the old saying goes: If you have not consulted three people, you must be confused in doing things.Now the situation in Lu State is very chaotic, the widow and the courtiers are trying to find a solution, but they still can't figure it out. I don't know why? Yan Ying replied: The three people mentioned in the old saying do not refer to the real three people, but refer to three opinions.One person counts the short, two counts the long, and the three add up, and there are more tricks.The three opinions are actually the epitome of the opinions of the masses. Respecting the minority and deciding on the majority will always reduce the chance of making mistakes.Now there are hundreds of ministers in the state of Lu, but they only listen to the opinion of Ji Sun, who is in power. There are many people, but there is only one opinion. How can it be counted as three people? This passage of Yan Ying's words is well-organized, well-organized, and consistent from beginning to end, which can be described as very appropriate.