Chapter 5 The sixth technique: how to grasp the timing of speaking

Confucius in "The Analects.It is said in "Ji Shi Pian": What is said before it is said is called impetuous, what is mentioned but not said is called concealment, and what is not seen is called blind.This sentence has three meanings: One is speaking when one should not speak, which is called impatience. The second is not speaking when you should speak, which is called concealment. The third is to talk nonsense with your eyes closed without looking at the change in the other person's face. These three kinds of problems are all about not grasping the timing of speaking, and not paying attention to the strategies and skills of speaking.Because speaking is a communication between two parties, not a unilateral act of one person, it is subject to various restrictions such as speaking object, setting time, surrounding environment, etc., so speaking must grasp the timing.If you don't say it when it's time to say it, the time will be fleeting and you will lose your chance of success.Similarly, if you don’t care about the state of mind of the person you are talking about, don’t pay attention to the surrounding environment, and rush to speak before the time to speak, it may cause the other person’s misunderstanding or even resentment; if you talk nonsense, the consequences will be even more serious.

Lord Anling, the favorite minister of the King of Chu during the Warring States Period, was able to speak well and was highly valued by the King of Chu.But he doesn't just open his mouth to speak when something happens, but pays attention to the timing of speaking.He had a friend named Jiang Yi who said to him: You don't have an inch of land, and you don't have close relatives, yet you occupy a high position and enjoy a generous salary. When the people of the country see you, they all dress up and bow down, accept your orders, and serve you. Why is this? An Lingjun said: This is how the king flattered me too much.How could it be otherwise!

Jiang Yi pointed out worryingly: Those who make friends with money, once the money is used up, the friendship will be broken; those who make friends with beauty, the love will change when the color fades.Therefore, the vicious woman was abandoned before the bed mat was worn out; the favored courtier was expelled before the chariot was broken.Now that you hold the power of the Chu Kingdom, but you have no way to have a close friendship with the king, I am secretly worried for you, thinking that your situation is too dangerous. When Mr. Anling heard this, he suddenly realized, and respectfully asked Jiang Yi:

In this case, sir, please give me some advice. Jiang Yi said: I hope you will find an opportunity to say to the king: willing to die with the king and be buried as a king.If you say so, you will surely keep your position for a long time. An Lingjun said: I would like to follow the words of Mr. However, after a long time, Lord Anling still did not mention this to King Chu. Jiang Yi went to see Lord Anling again and said: Why haven't you told the King of Chu what I said to you?Since you don't use my tricks, I don't care anymore. An Lingyan hastily replied: How dare I forget my teacher's teachings, but I haven't had the right opportunity yet.

After some time, the opportunity finally came.At this time, the king of Chu went hunting in Yunmeng, and shot dead a bison running furiously with one arrow.The officials and guards cheered thunderously and praised in unison.The king of Chu was also so happy that he looked up to the sky and laughed, saying: Happy!Today's hunting, how happy I am!After the widow lives forever, who of you can share today's happiness with me? At this time, Mr. Anling seized the opportunity, stepped forward with tears streaming down his face, and said: When I enter the palace, I will share a seat with the king, and when I leave the palace, I will ride in the same car with the king. If the king lives forever, I am willing to go to the underworld with the king and turn into a reed to block the ants for the king. That is the greatest honor of the minister.

The king of Chu was greatly moved when he heard the words, and he officially set up an altar to enshrine him as Lord Anling, and trusted him even more. This incident shows that grasping the timing of speaking is very important, but it also requires a lot of patience.This process should also actively prepare and wait for the conditions to mature, but it is by no means sitting idly by. "Huainanzi.Daoying" says: Things change in response to changes, and changes are born in time, so those who know the time can't do things forever. The outstanding thing about Lord Anling is that he has enough stamina to wait for the joyful and sad moment of King Chu.At this time, the emotional confession, touching the heart, pleasing the king's heart, was finally sealed, and the long-term glory and wealth were preserved.