Chapter 52 Eighty-seventh technique: conversation skills that are neither humble nor overbearing

Not humble, that is, not inferior; not arrogant, that is, not arrogant, which means speaking or treating people with propriety.Not everyone can master this skill.For example, what do you do when you are on the defensive talking to a strong opponent?If you are timid, you will fail; if you are arrogant, you may cause disaster.Only by being neither humble nor overbearing can you defeat the opponent. In 1945, Franklin.Roosevelt served as President of the United States four times.A reporter from the "Herald Tribune" interviewed him and asked him a difficult question, forcing him to talk about his feelings about being re-elected as president four times.

Roosevelt, who was on the defensive, did not answer immediately, but politely asked the reporter to eat a sandwich. When the reporter won this honor, he ate it happily. The president smiled and offered him a second piece. The reporter felt that this was the sincerity of the president, and the hospitality was hard to deny, so he ate another piece.When he asked Roosevelt again to talk about the problem he raised, the president unexpectedly invited him to eat a third piece. The reporter was flattered for a while, and although he no longer needed it, he reluctantly ate it. However, at this time Roosevelt said another sentence: Please eat another piece!

The reporter couldn't eat anymore, so he hastened to declare again and again: I have had enough. At this time, Roosevelt smiled and said to reporters: Now, don't ask me how I feel about this fourth term as President, because you just felt it. Roosevelt was neither humble nor overbearing, maintained his dignity, and changed from passive to active when pressed by reporters, which can be described as extremely decent. There is another example, which is to say that in a declining situation, neither humble nor overbearing prevents the opponent from making progress: It is said that when Mr. Wang Yangming, a great thinker and politician of the Ming Dynasty, was 26 years old, he was relegated to Guizhou to serve as the postman of Longchang because he opposed the eunuch Liu Jin.The prefect of the state sent some messengers to insult Mr. Yangming in public to show his loyalty to the eunuch master.The local barbarians didn't like this trick of making things worse, and they clashed with the police.The prefect was furious and reported to the Metropolitan Procuratorate, demanding that Wang Yangming be severely punished.Mao Bowen, deputy envoy of the Ducha, immediately wrote to Wang Yangming, telling him to calm down and bow down to the prefect to apologize, so as not to expand the situation and make disasters and fortunes unpredictable.

Wang Yangming wrote back and said: The eunuch's messengers insulted me because they were bullying others; they were not instigated by the eunuch; the local barbarians fought with them because of their indignation, and it was not my instigation either.Therefore, the prefect did not insult me, nor did I be arrogant to the prefect. There is no question of who offended whom, so how can there be any apologies?Besides, although the ceremony of kneeling and worshiping is a common part of petty officials, it is not considered humiliating, but it cannot be done without reason.As for misfortunes and blessings, I believe that: a gentleman seeks loyalty and trustworthiness for profit, and propriety and righteousness for blessing.If loyalty, propriety and righteousness do not exist, even high-ranking officials and generous salaries will still be a disaster;

Mr. Wang Yangming's words, neither humble nor overbearing, cleverly divided the messenger and the prefect into two, absolved the prefect of responsibility, and also made the prefect lack of reason to question the crime. Lost one's own dignity, so that the other party did not dare to push forward. Being neither humble nor overbearing is indeed a great skill to stabilize yourself and defeat the other party in the conversation between people.