Chapter 58 Ninth and third technique: Don't believe what is pleasant to your ears

When talking with people, the most taboo thing is to trust the pleasant words.The result is bound to be deceived, leading to disaster. During the reign of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, Ji An was a mighty and unyielding loyal minister. When he was a high-ranking official, many people visited his home, and the house was often full of guests, and the praises were endless, breaking the threshold. Later, Ji An angered Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty because of his outspoken admonitions, and was removed from his official position.At this time, those who praised him in the past changed their words to belittle him, and no one went to his house.

Afterwards, Ji An was reinstated as an official, and some old friends changed their tone of voice again, and visited him at his home one after another. Ji An has tasted the bitterness of trusting the sweet words of these snobs, and he angrily refuses to associate with these so-called friends. It is human nature to yearn for faith.But faith is not the same as pleasing to the ear.A person who goes from place to place and wins people's trust with pleasant words will not only make people unable to confide in him, but he himself will not be able to survive. "Warring States Policy" tells such a story:

There was a merchant in the state of Chu who had two wives and concubines, both of whom were very beautiful.There was a young man who secretly took a fancy to this wife and concubine, so he started with the older merchant's wife and wanted to possess her.Unexpectedly, the businessman's wife opened her mouth and scolded him: You are not as good as a beast, get out of here! The young man was turned away and had to walk away bored.But he changed his target again and tried every means to moles the merchant's concubine.The concubine hit it off immediately, and the two hooked up and became adulterers.

Soon, the businessman died suddenly.A friend of the young chap said to him: The businessman died and left a wife and a concubine. Which one do you plan to marry now? The young fellow said: I want to marry a merchant's wife. A friend asked him: Didn't the merchant's wife scold you?But the merchant's concubine obeys you, why do you marry the merchant's wife instead of the merchant's concubine? The young fellow said: When she was a merchant's wife she scolded me, now as my wife she scolds others. This story fully demonstrates that pleasant words should not be trusted.The reason why young men don't marry a merchant's concubine is because she is obedient but not womanly.

Trust means trusting people who have been tested and proven to be trustworthy, and don't trust those villains who are obedient and pleasing to the ear, but not trustworthy in reality.