Chapter 62 Art 97: How to talk to strangers

In today's society, the pace of life is accelerating, the flow of people and interpersonal communication are becoming more and more frequent, and many conversations are carried out between strangers. For example, when flying, taking a train, or taking a ship, several strangers sit together and always have some conversations; especially the conversations between new classmates, new colleagues, and new neighbors are even more important. How to chat with strangers? ·Seek opportunities When I meet a stranger for the first time, I have never met them before, and when I talk to them, I seem to be very embarrassed and unable to speak.In fact, talking with strangers should be regarded as a pleasure.It is an excellent opportunity to obtain new information and exercise eloquence. We should regard fear of the road as a happy place, change from passive to active, seek opportunities, and take the initiative to contact.As long as you are enthusiastic, sincere, and affectionate before the melody is formed, you will find trouble for nothing, find words for nothing, and start talking.

·Find topics The so-called finding a topic is like choosing a topic for writing an article. A well-chosen topic often leads to a spring of writing and thinking, and it is done with a stroke of a pen.If you find a good topic for conversation, you will be able to speak like a pearl, and you will feel like old friends at first sight.The so-called good topic means that both parties (at least one party) are relatively familiar, interested or have room for discussion. How to find topics?Here are a few options for reference: One is to pay attention to social law.Choose recent social news or events that everyone is more concerned about, stir up topics and spark discussions.For example, there have been frequent aircraft accidents recently, causing hundreds of casualties, causing everyone to change face when they hear the aircraft.Although everyone is a stranger, once someone provokes the matter, everyone can't help but join in the conversation.Some insiders, even eyewitnesses, may be able to add a lot of news beyond the news reports. Everyone has something to talk about, and naturally the more they talk, the more harmonious they become.

The second is the impromptu introduction method.Cleverly borrow some materials from that time, that place, and that person as the topic to trigger everyone's conversation.Such as the other party's surname, hometown, clothing, living habits, etc., impromptu introduction into the conversation is flexible and natural, and it is easy to associate from each other to this place. The third is the method of throwing stones and asking for directions.When talking with strangers, if you don’t know the personality and interests of the other person, ask some provocative questions first to see the other person’s reaction.Example: Which school did you graduate from?Are you working in a company?After you have a rough understanding, talk with purpose.If the question is wrong, you can still find an excuse from the other party's answer and draw the topic.If the other party is from Hong Kong, you can talk to him about the Hong Kong subway, Causeway Bay, and Sha Tin, and he will be very interested.

There are many topics that can be found when talking with strangers.For example, asking questions on the basis of facts, asking questions on the spot, entering questions from emotion, etc., the purpose is to derive the words of the other party. ·reduce distance When talking with strangers, due to time constraints, we must work hard to shorten the distance, and strive to understand each other more in a short period of time, shorten the distance between each other, and deepen the relationship.Confucius said: If the way is different, do not conspire with each other.Only when we have similar ambitions can we reach agreement.There are indeed many good stories of hit-time hits in life.When talking with strangers, it is necessary to make a fuss on the old characters and change them into old ones.To shorten the distance with strangers, you must pay attention to four points:

First, we must observe words and deeds.Look at the other person's expression to analyze their psychology; look at the other person's clothing to analyze their personality; look at the other person's playthings to analyze their hobbies.There are two passengers who live in the same cabin. Passenger A sees that passenger B is reading the famous book "Journey to the West" without putting it down, so he guesses that B must be fond of literature, so he talks with B about the characters and authors in this famous book; the emotional distance between the two parties suddenly It was shortened, quite like meeting a bosom friend by chance.

Second, ask smartly.President Roosevelt of the United States found several strange guests at a banquet. He first asked others what their names were, where they were from, and what occupation they were engaged in, and then took the initiative to talk to them, which flattered these strange guests. The chatterbox naturally opened up. Third, be quick to think.Seriously think about the information obtained by observing words and colors, from the outside to the inside, make an accurate judgment from this to the other, and then insert the conversation at the right time, so that the other party feels that the hearts of the two parties are connected; If you learn something from the conversation, you will naturally fall in love with each other and hate each other later.

In short, talking with strangers is a supplement of information, an exchange of emotions, and an exercise in eloquence.As the saying goes: Why should we have known each other before.As long as we cherish this channel of interpersonal communication, it is indeed a happy thing to be open-minded.