Chapter 29 27

【password】 Mi Rui had gone to sleep for a long time, but I was still awake sitting by the fire in the living room, studying Ashley's letters in my notebook.The firewood burns into a pile of embers that shrink in size, turning into flakes that glow reddish-orange.I push the armchair closer to keep warm.Even though sunset had only been an hour ago, it felt as if it would be dawn again soon.I read on. Footsteps were heard on the stairs behind.Mi Rui was standing by the door, with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, her eyes were wide open and she blinked at me, as if wondering why I would appear at this time.We still have to get up early to go to Étaples, but I'm still awake, so I feel a little embarrassed.

I thought you were going to bed. Miri pulled up another armchair and sat down by the fire. If you want to do something in secret, she said: Don't tell me it's okay. It's no secret. I handed her the photocopied copy of "Daily Life in the Trench," already annotated with a piece of paper. I found this after you went to bed. □□□ Among the tedious duties of a lieutenant in an infantry regiment was the checking of soldiers' letters, which was the duty of the star officer for the day.While front-line soldiers are forbidden to reveal their location in letters home, some use coded communications to tell loved ones where they are.In an ordinary password, the soldier and his wife will first agree on a trigger word.When the soldier's wife sees this word, she will combine the second letter of each sentence to know where the soldier is.

Mi Rui looked at me.The password is in the letter? Not really. I handed the notebook to Mi Rui, and she flipped it slowly, looking at the word that I circled several times. Mistletoe.She read it.What does it mean? Parasite, a plant under which people kiss.I don't know how to speak French. Le gui.She said: "Why would he use that word? I have no idea.But this is a trigger word, you can see for yourself.His way is a bit different from what they describe.He is using the first letter of every sentence. Mi Rui looked down at the notebook, and then wrote the first letter of each sentence after the word mistletoe appeared on a piece of paper.After writing, we looked at the words on the paper together: SOMME (Som).

It's amazing.She said: How did you find out? Mistletoe is an uncommon word, so I pay special attention the second or third time it occurs in a letter.Then I read about passwords again.I searched the way they wrote, but it didn't work, but then I saw Somme, and it will be obvious when I know it. Mi Rui flipped through the notebook and began to decode the next location. Don't bother.I told her.I already know it all. I want to come by myself. Under SOMME, she spelled COURCELETTE (Courcelette). It is a village.She said: "It's near Albert. I know. Is there anything else?

I nod.It's in the last letter in the notebook.It was her letter after she went to Somme. □□□ December 19, 1916 My dearest Yin Mozhen, Four days ago, I left rehab camp and rejoined the military.I'm glad I was able to leave because the ease of being in the rehab camp was starting to make me feel more guilty than being in the trenches.And the timing of my return to the army was perfect as they were going back to rest behind the lines. This break is a luxury.I was put into a family named Le Feher, and I lived in an upstairs room of a large house with my own four-poster bed and duvet, which was unimaginably luxurious.Here is an eleven-year-old girl who is very bright and interested in learning English.As long as I have free time, I will teach her.I also tried to teach her that the meaning of poetry is what you didn't understand when you were a child, but she still couldn't understand the charm of poetry, even in her mother tongue.Yet I persevere, hoping that one day she will be half as familiar with Shelley's verse as she is with the sound of a Vickers machine gun.

The house, like the surrounding countryside, is a bit gloomy, and it's on the town line just before it enters the farmland, but there's a Roman water tower here, and I suspect the fields will be pretty picturesque in spring.At least I'll stay here and see the farmlands look better, and see the mistletoe hanging from the rafters They say we'll spend Christmas here. Can I make a New Year's resolution to see the end of the war in a receding mirage?Peace is nothing without you.Let others celebrate Christmas and ignore the carnage we have caused.Of all the sins I've committed this year, yours seems the slightest, yet it still cost me dearly.Life is meaningless without you, a mad second lieutenant in a mad army, separated from the only person I care about, the only person who can make me kind, sincere, and affectionate.I lost this person for doing something I hated.Even lunatics know it's unfair, but what can you ask me to do?Reason can only get me so far.In the middle of the night, I dreamed that you came back to me and met again in that farmhouse, but this time we gave each other everything.Even what we cannot give.

I've told you all my secrets and that's all I can do. Yinmozhen, I never intended to ask you to do the impossible.When I left the UK, I had no idea what it was like to care or be cared about; I didn't know what it was like to wait for the unavailable or take risks we shouldn't be taking.When the whole world wants a person to go east alone, but his intuition tells him to go west, what should he do?You know the answer, and it has always been clear.But it's never been that simple for me. I'm not going to make any excuses, not even the most obvious ones, that what I've seen and done here has made me not even recognize myself.You don't have to forgive me or accept my choices.Write to me anyway so I'll at least be motivated to see the sun tomorrow.

Ashley who will always love you Mi Rui copied the third message on paper: CALOTTERIE. La Calotterie, she said: just off the coast, next to the dunes.Not far from here. can you take me thereI want to find the house where he lived. It's not a small place, it's not just one house He said there was a Roman water tower on the farm.There shouldn't be too many of those around here.And we also have that family name.Le Faher. Mi Rui shook her head. That was already eighty years ago.They must have moved.Or tear down that house.And even if we can find the family, so what? We can talk to them.Ashley stayed there for a long time.He befriended the family so they might know something

Mi Rui sighed and returned the notebook to me.She went to the stove, threw a piece of wood into it, and poked it a few times with an iron rod.For a moment the only sound in the room was the hissing of wet logs on coals. You can't change the past.Knowing the past doesn't mean you can change it. I know. Miri put the iron rod by the fire, and told me that she was going to speak French now, so that she could express herself clearly.She sounds different when she speaks her mother tongue, and although her voice is soft, she speaks with confidence and without hesitation. Miri thinks it's a mistake to be particularly interested in people just because they lived so long ago or because they've suffered a lot.She told me that people are still suffering and that we cannot appreciate suffering or death anyway because life is too short to spend time on what has already happened.She said that even love is sometimes a mistake, and perhaps the lost love between Ashley and Yin Mozhen was in vain.She asked me if it was possible for a person to love another person whom she had not seen for a long time, and for whom she had very little reason to feel such crazy emotions.

For several years, she said in French: It doesn't make sense. Mi Rui said that sometimes it is difficult to distinguish between love and longing, but the two are completely different, one is very worthwhile, and the other is absolutely just a waste.I followed Mi Rui's gaze to the fire.Out of the window behind us, the eastern sky was beginning to take on a dusky pale blue. The past or future is never with you.She said: You only have the present.No more and no less.no more, no less. I got up from my chair and stood next to Miri, we were both very close to the fire.My legs felt waves of heat.Then I put a hand on her shoulder, but she kept staring at the fire.We stayed like that for a while.Then she turned around and grabbed my shoulders.She touched my hand, fingers stroking my wrist.

So fine.She said softly: Your wrist may be thinner than mine. I looked at Mi Rui, but her face was turned away. Tristan, why did you come to Picardy? You know why.is to find evidence certainly.That's why you're here, of course.But what are you going to do next? I hesitated.I have no idea. Sooner or later you have to go elsewhere. I shook my head and looked at Mi Rui, but didn't know what to say to her.I moved my hand to her face, but she turned her head away. I'll drive you to La Carlotri early in the morning.she whispered. Thanks. But hear me out. Mi Rui turned back, her face was very close to mine. I am not a by-product of your quest. She kissed my forehead lightly, then took the paper with the name of the village on it, and threw it into the fire.The paper glowed bright yellow from the embers, shining on her face as she stepped back.I asked Mi Rui why she burned the papers, but she just shook her head and walked towards the stairs. The village was called La Carlotri.She said: "You never forget, right?