Chapter 38 37

January 2, 1917 La Carlotri France, Pas-de-Calais * Private Mayhew knocked on the door twice before entering the room.Ashley was lying on the bed, the duvet tightly pressed against his chin.His eyes open.He is looking at the ceiling. Good morning, sir.Mayhew said: It's six o'clock. Mayhew lit the fireplace and put in the wood to stir the fire until it felt hot enough.Then he put a jug of hot water on the dresser and prepared shaving cream, which he lathered in a china bowl with a horsehair brush.He took two coat hangers with Ashley's uniform, the brass buttons of which had just been polished.Since Ashley was injured, Mayhew had served him more attentively. Ashley didn't know if it was because Mayhew respected him more now, or because the battalion had been resting for the past two weeks.

Is there anything else you need, sir? No, that's all. Ashley picked up the "Amiens Daily" on the bedside table, flipped through it for a few minutes, and occasionally looked outside at the gray morning.Although he wanted to finish the newspaper, he also wanted to finish shaving while the water was still warm. He got up from the bed and put the newspaper by the mirror on the dressing table.He grabbed the black gelatin handle and swung the razor around in the jug until the metal was warm.Ashley wets his face, lathers it on, and carefully shaves the razor across his cheeks, sometimes pausing to consider a newspaper headline.

He washed his face, looked in the mirror, and noticed the scar on his neck, a bulge of pink and white tissue.For some reason, he suddenly felt surprised that the scars were not deeply penetrated into the skin, but protruded from the surface.Ashley rubbed the scar as if it could make it smooth.Then he dried his face, hung the towel around his neck, threw the newspaper into the fire, and called Mayhew. Has the truck arrived? Be there any minute, sir. Ashley pointed to the suitcase by the door. That can be taken down. Mayhew went downstairs with the suitcase.Ashley picked up the brass poker beside the stove and poked the firewood. The newspapers were all gone.He was thinking about the small suitcase at the foot of the bed behind him, but he didn't turn to look at it.

He turned around suddenly, opened the suitcase, took out a large cigar box from it, and stared at it for a while.Then he threw the box into the fire.As the box burned, the contents inside slowly emerged, so he saw the neatly bundled letters and the smooth blue and black writing on them. Ashley reached into the fire and pulled out the letter, smothering the flames with a towel.There was a little smoke and ash in the air.His burned hand was throbbing.Ashley threw the half-burned letter into the suitcase, and checked the back of his hand.Most of the fine hairs are burned off. Ashley knelt by the fire, poking the fire with a poker, watching the remaining scraps of paper and cardboard burn to ashes.Then he saw the gleaming silver cross with its purple and white sash burning.He let the sashes burn out, leaving only the medals.Ashley used iron tongs to grab the medal from the fire and threw it into the water basin.The medallion hissed and sank.He waited until it had cooled before putting it in his breast pocket.

Ashley dressed slowly.After I put on the boots, I feel more full and more like a soldier.May Xiu walked in with loud steps again. Anything else, sir?Shall I take the small one? That's empty, just leave it here.I'll go down to the truck and meet you. Yes, sir. Ashley looked at the small suitcase containing the charred letters, bolted it, and went downstairs. Breakfast was ready on the dining room table: a plate of boiled eggs, a loaf of buttered loaf, a cup of coffee with milk covered in a small saucer to keep it warm.Ashley walked through the kitchen and the living room.Nobody.He went back upstairs and into the little girl's room.Beside her bed was a small walnut wardrobe covered with a crocheted patchwork.He took the medal from his pocket and placed it on the white lace.Then he went downstairs, left the house and closed the front door.

A truck waits on the dirt road, its engine belching smoke into the crisp air.Mayhew and the driver sat on the bumper and smoked a cigarette together, talking in a low voice.There was a meadow in front of the house, but in this winter, only sporadic frozen grass and dirt could be seen.Ashley got into the truck and sat in the seat next to May Xiu and the driver.The driver shifted into gear and they drove past the water tower and onto the main road.Ashley scratched his chin.He may have accidentally hurt it while shaving.He turned to Meixiu and passed a cigarette over. Mayhew, you still remember Queen's Castle, right?that dreadful november

Of course, sir. You know they gave me a medal for that.God knows why.I guess it's just to make things look less bad.But what I want to say is that you saved my life, Mayhew.I applied for various medals for you, but none of them came out. That's all right, sir.I didn't expect to get anything. Ashley nodded, and handed the lighter to Meixiu.One more thing.You remember that German dugout with a sick officer in one of the bunks.I said something to him.What I want to ask is do you remember what he looks like?Too strange.One day I suddenly felt as if I had seen that guy before, years ago

No officers there, sir.They were all dead except the mad ones.There are no officers. Ashley looked at Mei Xiu, not sure if he was joking.But Mei Xiu looked very serious. There is an officer.Ashley insisted.He was in the 2nd Naval Infantry Division, I remember that well. Sorry, sir, we haven't spoken to anyone.We went down there and they were all dead, so we came up again. Mayhew, I remember it very clearly Ashley didn't finish speaking.He looked out the window at the snow, and there were wisps of smoke coming from some houses with chimneys.If Mei Xiu doesn't want to talk about it, then forget it.