Chapter 18 postscript/farewell arm

You have to love the life you live and live the life you love. Jerry.Jerry Garcia Band, (I'm a) Roadrunner * The weeks after my rescue were very turbulent.Before my dad arrived at Glen Johnson, my incident made headlines around the world.I lost nearly 20 kilograms and one and a half liters of blood in the canyon, and there is still a long road to recovery in the future. My recovery progress can be seen on CNN's marquee: Colorado mountaineer with self-amputated arm In intensive care. I had three surgeries in five days, but I was the patient who ate the most muffins in St. Mary's ICU, and my advanced recovery made me unfit for ICU, so I was quickly moved to the general ward.During my waking hours, my dad gave me the beliefs of a bunch of friends and strangers alike.A woman in Salt Lake City sent a card saying that my incident made her decide to flush sleeping pills down the toilet.She wrote: "Your act of bravery inspires me and makes me stronger.I had promised myself that if things didn't improve a year after my husband's death, I would take my own life.But I know now that suicide is not the answer.Your encouragement makes me bravely fight for life.My parents and I were moved to tears every time we read that card.

My incident had a knock-on effect on people that I didn't expect. During that whole week, my parents took care of me almost inseparable.With their love, the encouragement of thousands of people who prayed for me, the secret visits of many friends, and the careful care of the doctors and nurses at St. Mary's Hospital, I slowly recovered.On Wednesday, May 7th, I was planning my first outdoor activity since the accident.The recuperating therapist at the hospital was going to take my father and me to the park across the street, but because there was a large group of reporters and photographers guarding the hospital door day and night, we went to the top floor of the hospital to sit on a few folding chairs and enjoy the grand village. The commanding views and canyon cliffs, as we exchanged outdoor activities and talked about baseball, the atmosphere was pleasant for half an hour.It was one of my favorite moments of my life with my dad.

In the afternoon of the same day, I received a package: my friend Chris who lives in Portland.Xue sent me a gift, which was a thickly icing chocolate cake that was in the shape of my right hand!A group of friends from Aspen drove up to visit me that night and brought lots of music to listen to while I was in the hospital.Mom cut the cake and ate it with milk from the hospital cafe.It was a weird and funny moment, and I joked to my friends: Eat it!Miss my hand forever.We call this party the last dessert. On Thursday, although I was in a trance under the severe influence of the anesthetic, I went to the annex building of the hospital with my parents and walked into a room filled with fifty or sixty reporters and hundreds of photographers.I couldn't help myself I had to photograph this moment.That's how the rest of the world knows me, and I wanted to impress them during that 20-minute press conference.

A reporter asked me what are the three things I am most looking forward to at the moment?I say: Home with my parents, walks with friends and sipping a cold, salty, frosted margarita.That is the truth.I thought of Margaret several times when I was stuck, maybe not as often as I thought of family and friends, but I did think of it often. Immediately after the press conference, I met with my photographer friend Dan.Beyer talks, and he takes a photo for The Aspen Times.That week he had gone into Horseshoe Canyon and hiked up to the descent of the Great Fault, and along the way he found my discarded tape and equipment and returned them to me.He told me he saw the puddle of water I drank at the bottom of the descent and asked me: Did you see a dead crow floating in it?

St. Mary's hospital released me as soon as I was off the strongest anesthesia.After my parents and I returned home to Denver, friends from all over the United States flew in to throw a surprise welcome.I practiced two things on my wish list in one weekend.I can't enjoy a cold salty margarita until I'm off the eighteen pills I take every day. On Thursday, May 15th, I was in the hospital again, this time at St. Luke's Presbyterian Hospital in Denver.Because just two days ago, the doctors found a potentially deadly virus in my right arm, and that dirty knife that saved my life is now killing me.After another surgery, I was given the strongest possible antibiotics, followed by a bunch of blood tests to make sure the drugs were fighting the disease.The next day, Friday, was my sister Sanja's college graduation.With more tests and surgeries awaiting, I obviously couldn't get to Texas to witness Sanja get her certificate.However, just twenty hours before graduation, the doctors and nurses came up with a plan to get me out of the hospital for three days.

With intricate instructions for self-administering intravenous antibiotics, my parents and I drove ten hours overnight to Texas.When we arrived in Texas, the car looked like a medical ambulance, with used supplies and torn packing materials strewn about, but we caught up with Sanja being awarded the outstanding student of the year award.After all the weekend festivities were over, my parents and I helped Sanja pack, and we sat down with my grandmother: playing poker hand after hand, just like the good old days. Back in Denver, I have one last interesting procedure: angiography.A smiling nurse shaved off the hair on my right side of my pubic bone and inserted a catheter into an artery in my thigh until it slid into my chest.The nurse used that catheter to inject X-ray contrast into my flowing blood so I could see the blood vessels in my right arm appear on the screen.Once the results of the angiogram came in, the surgeon was able to select one of three retracted arteries to enter my right arm.A tourniquet damaged one of the arteries during the amputation, but the other two were fine.The surgeon transplanted a 10-centimeter-long muscle from the inner side of my left thigh to the stump on my right to complete the arterial surgery on my right arm.The arterial blood supply was now connected to the newly grown layer of flesh on the right arm, and a rectangle of skin was cut from the right thigh and patched at the end of the right arm.

The few hours after waking up from anesthesia were the lowest point of my recovery period.I had seven tubes in my body and three new sources of pain; I couldn't sleep, eat or drink, so I was constantly whining. I cut off my own arm without complaining, and now I'm whining?The nurses increased my anesthesia dose every hour, but it was still painful.I can't even get a sentence together; I want to tell Mom and Dad that I'm sorry for being so spanky, but trying to talk just makes me more frustrated.Mom sat for a full six hours, until dawn without closing her eyes, trying to comfort me.Yet my pain never ceased.When the morning light shone through the curtains and fell on my mother's face like a saint's light, I cried at her beauty until I fell asleep.

By May 25th, I had been in the hospital for 17 days, and I was finally able to go home.I've been repaired, almost all the weight I lost has come back, and the bone infection is subsiding.However, the course of intravenous antibiotics continued, meaning lying down for a half-hour drip every eight hours.This course of treatment lasted for six weeks, and even in the middle of the night, my parents would still get up to make sure I was on the drip.The only thing I do is sit still, but I don't like the regimen so I complain almost every time. The recovery period was quite difficult for me.It's not just the routine of dripping, there are others.Even with narcotics, both fake and real pain make me feel pain.Although I continued to receive treatment, I have not been able to get a good rest.Usually I lay semi-conscious in bed all night not awake, but not asleep either.The trance of the anesthetic does not allow the brain to function properly.When the narcotic dose kicked in, I would involuntarily pass out!I fell asleep in traffic at the doctor's office, at the clinic in occupational and physical therapy classes, or when my mother drove me home.When I woke up, I was in excruciating pain.My frustration, and the pile of drugs, turned me into a domineering, whining nuisance who hated hearing my own voice.

My return home was also hard on the family.While we are grateful to have each other again and to be happy as a family, happiness comes at a price.In addition to taking care of me, my parents also have to take care of work.In addition to my appointments, medications, insurance issues, and the attention of the media, we have to pick up the phone for up to two months, and we have to ask the local government to help fend off the SNG cars that are watching outside the house, and none of us Time to dress up. For the first four weeks, I was as dependent as a toddler.I found myself getting bored easily with my new life, where rest, healing, and recovery replaced skiing, mountain climbing, and concerts.Everything was so time-consuming; the prep for one appointment and the transportation to and from it took up my entire morning with Mom and me.And there are quite a lot of appointments, and the days must be coordinated with my medication schedule.I didn't come out of Blue Eyed John Canyon alive to live my life in pain and limitation, however, that's what my life became.

The challenges in the canyon are harsh but clear.I got out of trouble, but the challenge turned out to be more complicated later on.At first, I didn't feel ready to adapt to my new situation.I wanted to get my life back, but I had to learn how to deal with the frustration and turn it into action, and drugs were my first goal.In June, as most of the post-op pain faded away, I was gradually weaned off the painkillers.I can once again enjoy some freedom driving my truck, going for a run with friends, and enjoying a tall glass of cold salted margarita.I'm getting more and more and it feels like going through puberty again, growing up again.

As soon as I stopped the anesthesia, things improved quickly.I learned to tie shoelaces and even tie with one hand.I made rapid progress, started to practice writing with my left hand, and started typing on the computer with five fingers.My occupational therapist got me a circular knife so I could cut meat.I relearned how to deal with everything in life.I figured out how to put on the watch by myself and fasten the tricky button on the left wrist of my shirt with my teeth.Still, there are times when I need help.Sometimes my independence prevents me from asking others for help.While others' offers of help are well-intentioned, I want to figure things out on my own.One afternoon in the kitchen, Sanja was a little oversensitive when she saw me trying to peel an orange. You need—she didn't finish her sentence. (Editor's note: In English, the expression for needing help is needing a hand.) You say: Do I need a hand?I help her finish her sentence.Of course I do, fool.I only have one now.I smiled at her and she blushed.I got out my arc knife and cut the orange into eight pieces with the skin on, the way I was used to eating them in little league football.I stuffed a piece in my mouth, the orange peel covering my teeth, and I started hopping around like a gorilla.Just when Sangja thought I was completely out of my mind, I gave her a smirk and an orange peel, showing her teeth.She was drinking water when she laughed so much that she spit out the water and splashed it on her face. After that, it became a joke that she and I understood, even when we were doing nothing, she would ask me if I needed a hand. Because I mentioned Margarita at the press conference, I was given all kinds of related gifts: twenty-dollar bills with Margarita yellow sticky notes on them, tequila bottles and fine wines. A gift voucher for a Mexican restaurant famous for Margarita.I occasionally get large packages, usually filled with margaritas.When I opened one particular case, its contents took me by surprise.I called Sanja into the kitchen.In the case, in addition to a few bottles of tequila, triple sec and the ingredients needed to make a margarita, there is a box containing a rechargeable blender. No way.My sister and I started fantasizing about hiking up a peak, pulling out the blender, and making margaritas in the snow.How cool is that? I raised my arms to Sangja, and she also raised her hands. When we were about to high-five, Sangya seemed to suddenly remember something, and quickly gave my left hand two high-fives.Ha ha!You completely forgot!I laugh at her. No, you also raised your right hand for a high five, so you forgot too.Sanga is right, I often forget about my right hand. The events of the next few months sounded so incredible that I could hardly believe they were happening to me!Four friends and I were invited to meet our rock icon Terry.Anastasino (Trey Anastasio) and his orchestra had dinner.Another band I love, Thin Cheese Events, held a benefit concert and poster auction in my honor at a concert in Santa Fe, New Mexico, for five of Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico to help rescue me Volunteer Search and Rescue Group, raised $17,000.Kristi and Megan, two girls from Moab whom I met at Blue Eyed John's Canyon, were also at the concert. I then made another trip to the avalanche site on Mt. Determination, where I recovered items I had lost in the Category 5 avalanche, including my Sony digital camera.This camera, despite being hit by an avalanche, buried in a snowdrift three meters deep, exposed to wind, sun, rain, and bitten by a groundhog for four months, regenerated on the spot when I replaced it with a new battery. Get it working and still take great photos. In July, I went to David.Reitman's show, met with a lot of radio, big names in journalism, watched five concerts with friends, rock climbed Castle Forest Canyon near Denver with my new prosthetics, and in central Colorado in thirty hours Hiking five high mountains over 4,000 meters.In August, my friend McCann and IDaly climbed in Golden Canyon near Big Boulder, and our friend Rich.Hafeli's first leadville enduro (Leadville Trail 100) for the final stage of the speed adjustment.I shot two days in a row for GQ Magazine's Person of the Year and Vanity Fair's Person of 2003 and survived the horrific photoshoot. On August 31st, I read an article at Sanjia's wedding.When Sangja said I do to her husband Chuck, she looked prettier than usual.Sanja and I sang "Climb", her favorite Thin Cheese Events song, at the banquet, and we laughed together, totally disregarding our image in front of all our relatives. Four days after the wedding, eight friends and I climbed the standard route on Mount Moran in Wyoming.It's my privilege to use a unique prosthetic that I designed and to be at the front of most of the difficult sections.Two weeks later, two friends and I joined the Dulu Adventure in Minnesota. After nineteen kilometers of ocean rafting, six kilometers of whitewater canoeing, and a nineteen-kilometer cross-country race, we finished that adventure with an average score. In September, my mom and I watched a video I made in the canyon.It was hard on my mom to see me suffer, but it made us all the more grateful to still have each other in this moment. Later, I went back to Blue Eyed John Canyon.This time I brought four friends: Mark.Fan.Yiwut, Jason.Halladay, Steve.Patchett, Christie.Moore, along with NBC's "Dayline" team, walked through the cracks in which I was trapped.During those strangely synchronized times of life, I stood on the boulder that crushed my hand and immobilized me, exactly six months from the moment it fell on me to the present minute.As soon as everyone left the bottom of the canyon, I performed a ritual alone. I sprinkled the ashes of my hand on the accident site and wiped off the RIP OCT 75ARON APR 03 inscribed on the south rock wall, which happened to be before my twenty-eighth birthday. two days. That summer, Sanja and I kept teasing about my new pirate body.A month later, I was playing Captain Hook at Halloween in Aspen when I ran into a post-surgery Ellen.I was really, really happy when I was Roston's climbing friend. In the fall and winter, I went back to leading rock climbing, mountain biking, ice climbing, telemark skiing, skateboarding, and solo winter climbing.On March 17th and 18th, 2004, I climbed Mount Wilson and Mount Eldandi alone. When I officially reported for duty in winter, I climbed a mountain over 4,000 meters alone for the first time after the accident, and completed the forty-seventh mountain out of the total of fifty-nine mountains in my plan.I plan to climb the rest in the next two seasons, possibly becoming the first person to solo all fifty-nine of Colorado's 4,000-meter-plus peaks in winter. By the end of the winter season, my performance was almost beyond my pre-surprise level. Elliott and I were on the Moose Mountain Grand Transit ski race from Coronet Peak to Aspen.The results came in six hours faster than the record set by Gray and me in 2003, when I had two hands.Next year, I'm going to have my left arm amputated and see how much faster I can go.ha! I want to cherish everything that has happened and everything that may happen in my life.I am part of a miracle that has touched so many people in the world and I would not trade this for anything, not even my hands back. My accident and self-rescue in Blue-Eyed John Canyon was the most beautiful and sacred experience in my life. Knowing this, even if the time was reversed, I would still say goodbye to Meghan and Kristi just before the incident, and then I would go into the gap by myself.Although I have learned many lessons, I have no regrets about that choice.That made me more convinced that my ideas were right. Our purpose as human beings is to bravely follow our inner happiness, find our passion in life, and encourage and inspire each other to live seriously what we want Life.Everything else stems from that.When we find something inspiring, we must act for ourselves and for society.Even if that means making a difficult choice, or cutting something out and leaving it in the past. Saying goodbye is a bold and powerful beginning. (End of the book)