Chapter 11 Chapter Nine Far Away

The falling snow made a soft rustle and slid into the deep hole below.I stared at the ice pick high above, seeing it getting smaller and smaller.The ice-rock bridge that once prevented my fall looms.Behind the rock bridge, the open cave under the crevasse faded into shadow.I hold the rope lightly and let it slide over the belay at a smooth, even speed. I just couldn't resist the urge to stop the rappel.I don't know what's waiting for me down below. There are only two things I can be sure of at the moment: first, Simon is gone; second, he won't be coming back.This means that if you stay on the ice rock bridge, you will definitely die.There is no way to escape upwards, and the abyss on the other side just makes it all end faster.I also thought about dying, but even in such a desperate situation, I still didn't have the courage to commit suicide.Staying on the rock bridge, the cold and exhaustion would take quite a while to take my life.The thought of waiting so long, alone and frantically, gave me a choice: rappel down and find the exit, or die on the way.I would rather go forward and meet death than wait for it to come.There is no turning back now, yet something inside of me is crying out to stop.

I couldn't look down and look down.I dare not face the possibility that the bottom is just another abyss.If I see it, I will stop immediately, and then what should I do?Stay on the ropes and struggle with the steep slides of steep slopes?But I can't go back to the ice rock bridge, I can only hang frantically, the longer the better!I can't look down.I'm not that brave.In fact, I just couldn't shake the dread that engulfed me on the descent.There's a way down there, or there's nothing. On the rock bridge I've made a decision, and now I can only do my best.If life is going to end here, I want it to end suddenly and unexpectedly, so I keep my eyes on the icicle high above.

The slope gets steeper.When I descended about fifteen meters below the ice cone, I found my legs suddenly swinging in the air, and I couldn't help stopping the rope.Here's the dip I saw from the rock bridge!I stared up at the rock bridge, trying to let go of the rope again.I've experienced this feeling in the past: Standing on the edge of a high diving board, watching the water drop from my hair and falling into the pool below, fighting, trying to convince myself that it's okay, motivating myself to jump, and then Take a thrilling leap and laugh when you fall safely into the water.

I knew I could rappel until I ran out of rope.Then, when the unknotted end slips through the surety, I'm down into the abyss.Thinking of this, my frozen hands couldn't help grabbing the rope even harder.Finally I let go of the rope, and the feeling came back that the pool might suddenly shift to one side, or dry up the instant I jumped, though I don't know if there was a pool waiting for me this time. I slowly descended the steep wall until I was hanging vertically from the rope.The walls of the steep walls are very hard, shiny water ice.I could no longer see the icicle, so I stared at the ice instead and continued to rappel down the wall.For a moment I was very focused on the rappel, but as the light around me grew darker and the dread returned, I couldn't control myself anymore and stopped.

I want to cry, but I can't cry.I felt paralyzed, completely incapable of thinking, and could only let waves of panic sweep through my body.Waiting for the unknown and extremely terrifying things to happen is the most tormenting. When this kind of torture comes, I can only hang helplessly on the rope and tremble, with the helmet leaning against the ice wall and eyes closed. time.I had to see what was going on down there, I was convinced I couldn't just rappel blindly.Nothing scares me more now.I glanced at the taut rope above.It runs up the wall and disappears into the slope above.Now the slope is six meters higher than me, and it is impossible for me to go back up it.I looked at the crevasse wall next to my shoulder, and the towering wall on the other side was three meters away from me.I'm hanging in a well of water ice.In the process of turning around, I decided to look down.I spun and spun so fast that my shattered knee hit the wall of ice, and I howled in pain and terror.The rope beneath him did not hang loosely into any abyss.There was snow under my feet, and I stared blankly at the snow, completely unable to believe what I saw.It's the ground!Four or five meters below my feet is a wide snow-covered ground.Not nothingness, no black abyss.I muttered to myself, hearing muffled echoes from the walls all around me, and then a cry of joy and relief that echoed through the crevasses.I yelled again and again, listening for the echo, yelling and laughing.I've reached the bottom of the crevasse.

After regaining my senses, I observed the snow field below more carefully, and found a dark and dangerous cave, and my joy suddenly eased.That's not the ground after all.The crevasse spread upwards, forming a pear-shaped vault, the walls curving outward to a width of fifteen meters before narrowing.The snowfield cuts across the flat end of the cave, and above me, the nearly thirty-meter-high wall narrows until it is only three meters in diameter, forming a thin, pear-shaped end.Pieces of snow crust fell from the top with a patter. I looked at the closed cellar made of ice and snow, trying to see its shape and size.The opposite wall shrinks in one place, but does not close.The gaps in the walls had been filled with snow from above, forming cones that reached to the top of the crevasse.The base of the cone is about four or five meters wide, but the diameter at the top is just over one meter.

A beam of golden light shot obliquely from the small hole at the top, casting bright spots of light on the wall.I was fascinated by this beam of light piercing the dome and shining in from the real world outside.It caught my attention so completely that I forgot that the snow below was not stable and slipped down the rest of the rope without knowing it.I want to go to that sunbeam.I know very well that I will make it.As for how to do it and when it will arrive, I still have no idea.But I just do. In an instant my outlook changed.The fatigue and fear of last night were left behind, as was the claustrophobic fear of rappelling.After twelve hours of despair in this eerily silent and eerie place, it all suddenly seemed like a nightmare of my imagination.I can have positive action.I can crawl, I can climb, I can keep going until I escape this tomb.Before on the rock bridge, I couldn't do anything but try not to feel scared and alone. Helplessness was my worst enemy.And now, I have a plan.

The power of inner change is amazing.I feel energized, full of strength and optimism.I understood the dangers that could occur, and I knew that these were very real issues that could destroy my hopes.But for some reason, I feel like I can overcome them one by one.It was like God gave me the opportunity to get out of here, and I was going to use every drop of energy left to take this opportunity.I realized how right it was to leave Rockbridge, and I felt confident and proud all over my body.I conquered my deepest fears and made wise decisions.I did, and I'm sure after my ordeal on the rock bridge, nothing worse could have happened to me.

My boots touched the snow and I stopped rappelling.I sat on the sling, hung on the rope, kept a little distance from the snow surface, and carefully observed the situation on the surface.The snow looked fluffy and powdery, and I was immediately suspicious.Looking along the edge where the snow surface meets the wall, I quickly found what I was looking for: there were several black cracks between the ice wall and the snow.Rather than saying that this is a Dao plane, it is better to say that it is a suspended canopy that crosses into the ice crevasse, separating the upper space where I am from the bottomless abyss below.A snow slope rises towards the sun beam, and the starting point is more than ten meters away from me.The snow between me and the slope was like an alluring carpet, inviting me to walk across it.The thought made me chuckle.I forgot that I couldn't use my right leg at all.Well, well.Climb over but from which side?Straight across, or close to the back wall?

This choice is very difficult.My feet might penetrate the snow, but I'm more worried that it might damage the fragile surface.The last thing I want is for the snow to avalanche and me to be on the wrong side and not able to cross the hole to the other side.I can't bear that kind of result.I nervously looked up at the ray of sunlight, trying to gain strength from it, and then I made up my mind immediately.I'm going to cross the middle.Here the distances are the shortest, and there is nothing to suggest that the middle is more dangerous than the sides.I lowered myself gently until I was sitting on the snow, but still supported most of the weight on the rope.I let out the rope bit by bit, slowly shifting my weight onto the snow, which was painful.I found myself holding my breath, tensing every muscle.I became wary of any movement on the snow, worried that I might slowly sink through it and die.At this moment the tension on the rope eased slightly and I realized that the snow was holding my weight.I took a deep breath and let go of my aching hand from gripping the rope.

I just sat there for five minutes without moving.There was a huge abyss beneath the fragile snow, and I struggled to keep my balance and get used to the extreme uneasiness.Then I found myself unable to adapt and had no choice but to try to get across the chasm.I let out a rope more than ten meters long, and tied the remaining less than ten meters to the sling.Then I stretched out, prostrated myself on the snow, and crawled toward the cone.The closer you get to the other side of the hole, the less tense you are.From time to time I heard a dull crash, which signaled snow falling into the abyss below.Even the slightest sound can make me catch my breath and stop my movements.I could feel my heart pounding violently until it started moving again.When I passed the halfway point, I found that all the black holes in the snow were behind me.I feel like I'm on thicker, tougher snow. Ten minutes later, I leaned wearily on the slope leading to the golden sun.The rope dangled from the steep slope under the rock bridge and hung in an arc in front of the ice wall.If I had known that there was a snowy surface below, I wouldn't be so sad.I shuddered at the thought that I might stay up there to die.I would be tormented by madness and cold through long nights, days of maddening despair, until exhausted and unconscious. I look up to the cone.For a moment, I wondered if I was deluding myself in the idea that I could climb to the sun above.The journey is long and difficult.I can climb slopes with a rope attached.When I climbed to a certain height, the rope will rise together until it hangs almost horizontally between the rock bridge and the sunlit roof.A fall at any point sent me plummeting through the snow and spinning and wiggling in the cavern below until I hit the wall of ice from which I was rappelling.If so, I won't be able to go back to the cone or the ice rock bridge.I also thought about climbing without a rope.If there is an emergency, at least he can die quickly without suffering too much.But I still gave up the idea.I need rope.It gives me a sense of security. A breeze blew from the crevasse, and a chill and death breath rose from the depths below and brushed my cheeks.The light reflected by the surrounding ice walls kept flickering, mixed with the blue-gray shadows, making the light and shadow in this space look very strange, and the rocks embedded in the ice walls stood out from the clear ice.I rest at the bottom of the cone, taking in the atmosphere of the crevasse.Even though it is lonely, cold and sinister, it still feels sacred.The majesty of the crystal vaults, the shimmering walls studded with countless falling stones, the rocky bridges that obscured the silent sky in the distance, formed clumps of shadows that merged into the darkness beyond the corridor.The danger is just my imagination, but it is deeply rooted in my mind and I can't get rid of it.It was as if the thing had lain dormant for centuries with extraordinary patience, waiting for a victim to appear.Now it has me, and if it weren't for that ray of sunlight, I might just sit there numb, crushed by the eternal silence.I shuddered.The air was uncomfortably cold, and the temperature should be well below freezing.A gust of wind blows snow powder from the hole at the top, and I watch them float in the sun, fascinated.Time to climb. I carefully prop myself up on my left leg.The injured leg hung limply on the snow, stiffened overnight, and was shorter than the uninjured leg.At first I wasn't sure how to start climbing the slopes.The slope is about forty meters high, and if two legs are fine, it only takes ten minutes to climb.What worries me the most is the slope.The starting point of the slope is only forty-five degrees, and I am confident that I can drag myself up, but when the slope rises, the slope also increases.The top six meters looked almost vertical, but I knew that was an illusion caused by looking directly at the face of the slope.I figured it couldn't be more than sixty-five degrees at the top.But this thought did not inspire me, because the soft powder snow slope is very difficult to climb even without injury.I suppressed the growing pessimism in my heart and told myself that I was lucky to find the slope. At first, my steps were very clumsy and uncoordinated.I drove the ice ax deep into the snow above, then pulled myself up with the strength of my arms.Such an approach would not work on the steeper sections above, and I am aware of the risks of doing so.If the ice ax breaks out of the snow, I'm going to fall.I stopped to think of a better way.My knee twitches with pain, a stern reminder that I'm still a long way from here. that pattern!I remembered how I had crosscut to the col with Simon.That seems like a long time ago.That's it.Find a standard pattern and stick to it.I rested on the ice ax and looked at my left leg buried in the snow.I tried to bring my injured leg parallel to my left leg, but my knee creaked.I was moaning, my injured leg couldn't bend properly, and the boot on my right foot was about fifteen centimeters lower than the other.I bent down, digging a step in the snow, and the pain flared up again.I tamped down the snow as best I could, then dug a smaller step underneath.After the two steps were complete, I plunged the two ice axes into the upper ramp, gritted my teeth, and lifted the burning leg up until I got the boot into the lower step.Supporting myself on the ice axe, I leaped up with my left leg and pushed my arms down hard to increase my thrust.In an instant, my weight was transferred to the injured leg and knee, and a searing pain broke out.When the left leg found a foothold on a higher step, the pain gradually eased.I yelled a curse word, which echoed strangely in the hole.Then I bent down and dug two more steps, repeating the pattern.Bending, hopping, resting, bending, hopping, resting, the burning pain gradually became integrated into the routine, and I didn't care so much, I focused entirely on repeating the pattern.Despite the low temperature, I was still sweating profusely.Pain and hard climbing blended together, and I was so engrossed in the work of hopping and digging that time passed before I knew it.I resist the urge to look up or down.Progress was very slow, and I knew it.I don't want to be reminded of that fact by the still-out of reach overhead. After two and a half hours, the slope became much steeper, and I had to be extra careful when hopping on one foot.The snow ridge where the ice ax is inserted is very soft, and the moment when the ice ax supports the full weight becomes the key.The steep incline forced me to balance my movements with precision.Twice I nearly fell.One of them was when I hopped on the wrong step and slid down to a small step below, my knee buckling under the weight of my body.I struggled to stay upright, fighting back the nausea and dizziness.The second time I did a hop, but the movement was too violent and I lost my balance.All I could do was to slam my body into the slope to keep myself from falling, and once again I felt something squeeze against each other in my knees.Hearing my own cursing and sobbing echoed repeatedly in the abyss below, it felt very strange.What's even more strange is that these complaints and complaints made me very embarrassed.No one would hear it here, but the empty space behind me felt very constrained, as if it were a silent witness, sniffing at my cowardice. I rest my head on the snow.Drenched in sweat, as long as you stop moving, you will feel cold soon.Immediately I started shaking.Looking at the canopy above, the sun is about to shine on me, and I am very happy.Looking down, I found myself two-thirds of the way up the cone.Looking down from here, the whole space appears even more unfathomable.The rope connects my harness to the ice picks on the rock bridge, forming a crescent.My position was at the same height as the rock bridge, and the rope hung down, extending about 25 meters above the snow, still some distance from the slope I had rappelled.Looking at the rock bridge and remembering the time I spent on it, my mood fluctuates.It's hard to believe I was so desperate last night and while rappelling and now I'm getting closer to the sun.That was the biggest difficulty I have ever faced. Thinking of this, I am full of confidence in myself.There are still many tough battles to fight.I face the slope and dig the steps again. After another two and a half hours, I was three meters below the roof of the cave.The slopes became steeper and harder to climb, and every hop was a calculated gamble to either lose my balance or keep my foot on the steps.Fortunately, as the cone narrowed, the texture of the snow firmed up a bit, and I found that the ice ax was very secure as long as it was inserted into the left ice wall.Although I was getting closer and closer to the top of the cave, I was exhausted and the pain increased to a certain extent and continued.No matter how careful I was, I couldn't reduce the weight temporarily on the knee of the injured leg. The fractured part buckled and creaked again and again, and I felt weak and nauseous.Facing the slope again, I bent over, hopped on one foot, pulled my body up with the help of the ice ax embedded in the wall, and kicked on the steps with my feet, this time without hurting my injured knee.My helmet lightly touches the ceiling.The hole was directly above me, the size of a human head.The strong sunlight made me dizzy, and I looked down, and the space became pitch black.I lifted my leg up to the new step I had dug, ready to do another hop. If anyone saw me coming out of the crevasse, they would laugh a lot.My head popped out of the ceiling, staring out like a gopher.I grabbed the ice ax embedded in the crevasse wall, stood on one leg, poked my head out of the hole and turned around, admiring the magnificent scenery I had never seen before.The view of the mountains surrounding the glaciers was so spectacular I could barely recognize what was in front of me.The familiar mountain peaks showed a graceful posture that I had never noticed.I saw ice fields, ridges carved with delicate glacier channels, and a great black moraine that snaked out of sight from the nose of the glacier.The sky was cloudless, and the sun radiated tremendous heat from the blue sky.I stood silently, dumbfounded, unable to comprehend the fact that I had finally escaped.My mind was so dull that I forgot what I was going to see when I escaped. I pulled out the ice hammer from the ice crevice, inserted it into the snow outside, jumped up on one foot, turned over the crack of the abyss, and numbly leaned on the snow to breathe a sigh of relief, feeling as if I had been wrestling with a powerful opponent for a long time .Although the warm sun was shining on my back, I was still shaking.The heavy despair and fear that had haunted me for so long in that ice room seemed to be slowly melting in the sunlight.I lay limp on the snow, turned my face to the glacier below, my mind blank.The sense of relief that spread throughout my body made me dizzy and weak.I seem to have used up the last bit of strength in my body, and I don't want to move anymore.Lying motionless in the snow was so satisfying and at ease, I didn't want to break that.Total freedom from tension, darkness and nightmarish images is a bliss.That's when I realized that I'd spent every second of the past twelve hours in a frenzy.Now my mind shuts down all consciousness except the feeling of relief.Sunlight makes me drowsy.I want to sleep and forget about it all.I have managed to exceed my wildest expectations.I never thought I could escape, but now I did.For this moment, that's enough. I didn't fall asleep, I just lay still, half-dream and half-awake, slowly getting used to this new world.I didn't move my head, only turned my eyes slightly, re-acquainted with the familiar scenery in front of me, as if I was seeing it for the first time.Shaped like a frozen tongue, the glacier winds its way north to the black moraine of the glacier's nose, where it crumbles into a maze of crevasses large and small.The moraine weaved haphazardly across a broad rocky valley until, on the far shore of a circular lake, it slowly thinned out and was replaced by mud and gravel.Another lake is not far from this round lake, the surface of which reflects the dazzling sunlight.Sarabor Peak blocked my view, but I knew there was another moraine at the end of the second lake, and beyond that was our camp. I gradually realized that this new world, though warm and beautiful, was no better than an ice crevasse.My current position is more than sixty meters above the glacier, about ten kilometers away from the camp.The sense of ease is gone, and the familiar tension is back.Escaping the crevasse is just the beginning!How stupid of me to think I've made it out of danger!Gazing out at the moraine and the glint of the lake in the distance, I felt the pressure increase.The distance is too far, too far.I am not physically strong enough.There was no food, no water, nothing, and a sense of terror enveloped me again.I almost believed that there was no escape, that no matter what I did, it was just another obstacle, and another obstacle, until I stopped and gave up.The black moraines and sparkling lakes in the distance seemed to mock my delusional escape.I was in a hostile situation where definite hostility surrounded me like a static air.This is no longer the playground we walked into long ago. I sat up and looked at the broken end of the rope with great pain in my heart. This is ridiculous.I whispered, as if worried that something would hear me and know I was defeated. I stared at the moraine in the distance and knew I had to try.I could very well die among those boulders.But the thought didn't deter me.As if it was a matter of course and true.It is what it is.I can set a goal.If I die, well, that's fine, but I don't want to sit here and die.The fear of death no longer shakes me like it did when I was in the crevasse.Now I have a chance to face it, to fight it.Death is no longer a bleak and hopeless nightmare, but an objective fact, like my broken leg and frozen fingers, and it is impossible for me to be afraid of such things.My legs hurt when I fall, and if I can't stand up, I die.Strangely, faced with such a simple choice, my spirit was lifted, and my whole body became sharp and vigilant.I looked at the mountains in front of me and the mist that disappeared into the distance, and I saw my role in it more clearly.This is an unprecedented experience. I have never experienced such complete loneliness.Although loneliness scares me a bit, it also empowers me.A wave of excitement ran down my back.I was meant to do this.The game has started and I don't have the option to flee or quit.I came here looking for adventure, and then found myself inadvertently drawn into more difficult challenges, which is a bit of a joke.Adrenaline made my body shudder for a while, but it didn't take away my loneliness or shorten the distance from Moraine to the lake.The sight ahead quickly overwhelmed my excitement.Abandoned in this dreadful desolation, my senses have been sharpened and freed from the clutter of useless thoughts in my head.Seeing the facts clearly and accurately, I understand how important it is to be able to come here with a life and a consciousness, to be able to make a difference.There's just silence, snow, and a lifeless clear sky, and me.I sit here, watching it all, accepting my mission.There is no dark power to hinder me.A cold, rational voice in my head cut through the tangle of my thoughts and told me this was real. There seemed to be two strands of consciousness in the body arguing endlessly.The voice was clear, distinct, irresistible.It is always right, and I listen to what it says and act on its decisions.And another consciousness sprang up fragmented images, memories, and hopes.I seemed to be daydreaming, noticing these things while also following the voice's instructions.I must reach the glacier.At the glacier I still have to crawl, but I haven't thought about that far away.If my senses have become sharper, it must have become narrower, because I can only think of accomplishing the predetermined goal, and cannot think about further things.Reaching the glacier is my goal.The voice told me exactly how to reach my goal, and I obeyed its instructions while another mind wandered blankly with various thoughts. I started hopping down the face below the crevasse.To avoid the steep rocky buttress directly below, I headed obliquely to the right.As soon as I walked around the buttress, I saw a gentle snow slope stretching for more than 60 meters to the glacier.I look up at the ice cliff above the crevasse.It was a vague old memory for me, and then I saw a rope dangling from the right side of the cliff, and a sudden pang in my heart Simon must have seen the crevasse, too.This colorful rope suspended from the ice cut through the last sliver of doubt in my mind.He is alive and has seen the crevasse.But he didn't try to call for help, he was convinced I was dead and just left.I turned my head to look at my feet and continued to hop on one foot intently.