Chapter 10 have a meal together

I don't know how long I've been in the kitchen and I still feel dizzy and unsteady.It feels like hitting your head on the hood of a car but at one point, maybe when the mother said eat it, I physically showed that I surrendered, that I accepted that I was here.I did as my mother said. I pick up the scrambled egg with a fork and put it in my mouth. My tongue suddenly caught my attention.I haven't eaten for two days.I gulped food into my mouth like a prisoner.Chewing my food distracted me from the improbable situation in front of me.Also, can I be honest?The scrambled eggs are delicious and have a familiar taste.I don't know why my mother's food is like this, especially the home-cooked muffins, meatloaf, tuna salad that everyone can cook. Anyway, the scrambled eggs taste like memories.My mother used to put a little bit of chopped green onion in the scrambled eggs. I call them green little things and now they are in the scrambled eggs.I am at the table in the past tense, with my mother in the past tense, eating breakfast in the past tense.

Eat slowly or you will get sick.she says. This, too, has become a thing of the past. After I finished eating, she took the plate to the sink and rinsed it with water. Thanks.I murmured. She looked at me: Charlie, did you just say thank you? I nodded slightly. Thanks for what? I cleared my throat: Thanks for the breakfast, right? She smiled and finished washing the dishes.I watched her standing by the sink.I suddenly had a very familiar feeling, I was sitting at the kitchen table and she was doing the dishes.We've talked many times in this position, about school, about my friends, about gossip about neighbors that I shouldn't trust.The sink was always running and we had to speak up.

You can't be here where I start and stop.I can't go on. She turned off the tap and dried her hands with a towel. See what time it is.She said: We should go. She leaned forward and took my face in her hands.Her fingers were warm and wet with water. You're welcome.She said: Don't thank me for the breakfast. She picked up the purse from the chair.Be a good boy and put your coat on. Dear Charlie, I know you are scared.But there is nothing to be afraid of.We've all had our tonsils cut, and you see we're all fine now. You keep this letter.Put it under your pillow before the doctor comes in.They will give you medicine to make you sleepy.You can think of my letter there before you fall asleep.If you don't see me when you wake up, you can reach under the pillow and take out the letter and read it again.Reading is like talking, you just imagine that I am talking to you.

I'll be there soon, too, to talk to you.Then you can eat as much ice cream as you want, okay? Love you every day. Mom 1959.7.20