Chapter 13 belly of the monster

Human beings do evil so readily and thoroughly, no more than they do it out of religious belief. Pascal (Annotation: Blaise Pascal (1623︱1662), French genius mathematician and philosopher, had a profound religious experience, and wrote "Meditations".) Once God is abolished, government becomes God. Chesterton (Annotation: G.K. Chesterton (1874︱1936), a British journalist, writer, critic, and poet, is good at speculating on paradoxes and paradoxes, defending Christianity with a series of mystery novels by Father Brown, In the end it was classified as a Catholic.) When McCann walked all the way from the path to the lake, he suddenly realized that something was missing.His longtime companion was gone, as if washed away by the mist as he emerged from behind the curtain of the waterfall.It feels weird, even a little uncomfortable, without it.For several years, it had been defined as a normal existence for him, but now it disappeared unexpectedly.Normal is a myth.he thought.

Grief would no longer be part of his identity.Now he knew that Missy wouldn't mind if he refused to wear it.In fact, she didn't want him to curl up under that curtain either, and if he continued to do so, she might still mourn for him.Now that he decided to let go, he couldn't help wondering what he would be like, could he go into each day without the guilt and despair that sucked the color of everything? As he entered the clearing in the forest, he saw Jesus still waiting, still struggling.Hey, I think I'm the best at throwing thirteen floats, he said, laughing, and came over to meet McCann.But Taylor beat me by three, and Josh dropped a rock so fast we couldn't count.As they embraced, Jesus added: McCann, you have a very special child.Both you and Cortana love them so much.Kate is still struggling, you know, but we haven't dealt with that part yet.

He was deeply moved by the ease and intimacy with which Jesus spoke of his children.So are they gone? Jesus pulled back and nodded.Yes, back to their dreams, except Missy, of course. What about her?McCann hesitated to speak. She's overjoyed to be so close to you, and excited to know you're better. McCann struggled to stay calm.Jesus was able to understand, so he changed the subject. So how are you getting on with Sophia? Sophia?Oh, so she is Sophia!McCann yelled.Then a puzzled look appeared on his face.Then there are four of you, aren't you?Is she God too? Jesus smiled.No, McCann.There are only three of us.Sophia is the embodiment of Papa's wisdom.

Oh, like in Proverbs in the Bible, wisdom is described as a woman calling in the street, trying to find someone who will listen to her, isn't it? That's her. McCann paused, however, while bending over to undo his shoelaces.She looks so real. Oh, she's pretty real.Jesus replied.Then he looked around, as if to see if anyone was watching, and said softly: She has a part in the mystery that surrounds Sha Ruiyu. I love Sa Ruiyu!McCann rose to his feet and shouted, inexplicably surprised at his confession. Me too!Jesus said emphatically.They walked back to the bank and stood silently watching the huts on the other side.

My time with Sophia was terrifying and wonderful.McCann finally answered Jesus' previous question.He suddenly found that the sun was still high in the sky.How long have I been away? Less than fifteen minutes, so not long.Jesus replied.Seeing McCann's suspicious expression, he said again: The time spent with Sophia is not like normal time. Hmm, McCann grumbled.I doubt that anything about her is normal. In fact, Jesus started to start, but stopped, and threw the last stone that was in vain.With her, everything is normal and elegantly simple.Because you were so lost and independent, you brought so many intricate things to her that you found even her simplicity profound.

So I'm complicated and she's simple.call!My world is indeed turned upside down.McCann was already sitting on a log, taking off his shoes and socks, and was about to walk back.Can you tell me?It's the middle of the day and my little one was dreaming here?How does that work?Is any of this real?Or am I just dreaming too?Jesus laughed again.As for how all this works?Just stop asking, McCann.This is a bit difficult to understand and has something to do with space-time aggregation.It's Sha Ruiyu's stuff again.Time as you know it has no boundaries in the eyes of the Creator.You can ask her if you want.

No, I think we can talk about that later.I was just curious.he giggled. But what is real about all this?This question is far more real than you think.Jesus paused briefly to allow McCann to concentrate.A better question might be what is real? . I'm starting to feel like I'm out of ideas.McCann confessed. If it were in a dream; would it all be less real? I think I will be disappointed. Why?McCann, what's happening here right now is beyond your ability to perceive.I assure you that this is all very real, far more real than any life you have known so far. McCann hesitated, then decided to take the plunge: There was one thing that still bothered me, and it had to do with Missy.

Jesus came and sat on the log beside him.McCann bent, put his elbows on his knees, and stared over his hands at the cobblestones at his feet.He finally said: I think about her all the time, all alone in that truck, so scared Jesus put his hand on McCann's shoulder and twisted it lightly.He said gently: McCann, she was never alone, and I never left her.We never left her for a moment.I may abandon myself, but I cannot abandon her, or you. Does she know you are there? Yes, McCann, she knows.Didn't know it at first because the fear was overwhelming and she was terrified.It took several hours to drive here from the campsite, but Mith calmed down when Sha Ruiyu surrounded her with herself.That long journey actually gave us a chance to talk.

McCann tried to hear it all.He could no longer speak. She may only be six years old, but Miss and I are friends.We are talking.She doesn't know what's going to happen, she's actually more worried about you and the other two kids because she knows you won't find her.She prays for you, for your peace. McCann cried, new tears rolling down his cheeks.This time, he doesn't mind.Jesus pulled him gently into his arms and held him. McCann, I don't think you want to know all the details, I'm sure those are not helpful.But I can tell you that we are with her all the time.She knows my peace, and you would be proud of her if you were there.She is so brave!

McCann's tears were flowing freely at the moment, but even he noticed that this time was different.He is no longer alone.He was not embarrassed to cry on the shoulder of the man he had grown to love.With each sob, he felt the tension drain away, replaced by a deep sense of release.Finally, he took a deep breath, then raised his head and exhaled. Then, without speaking, he got up, threw the shoes over his shoulders, and walked into the water.When he found himself ankle-deep in the lake as he took his first step, he was a little surprised but didn't care.He stopped and rolled his trousers up above his knees to make sure they wouldn't get wet, and took another step into the bitterly cold water.In one step the water was between his calves and in the next step it was just below his knees, but his feet still touched the bottom of the lake.He looked back and saw Jesus standing on the shore, arms folded on his chest, watching him.

McCann looked back to the other side of the lake.He didn't know why he didn't float on the water this time, but he decided to keep going.Jesus was there, so he had nothing to worry about.The thought of swimming that long, icy distance was scary, but McCann knew he could swim it if he had to. Thankfully, when he took his next step, he didn't sink, but rose slightly, and each big step that followed brought him higher until he was on the surface again.Jesus joined him, and the two continued on toward the hut.Don't you think it will be easier for us to walk together?Jesus asked with a smile.I guess I still have more to learn.McCann smiled back.While walking on the water was wonderful, he found that it didn't matter to him whether he had to swim the distance or walk on it.What matters is that Jesus is with him.Maybe he's starting to trust him after all, even if it's just in the toddler stage. Thank you for being with me and telling me about Miss.I've never really talked to anyone about it, it's just huge and scary.Now it seems less scary. Darkness can hide the true magnitude of fear, lies, and regret, Jesus explained.The truth is, that's more shadow than reality, so it seems bigger in the dark.As light shines into the place where they dwell in your heart, you begin to see them for what they really are. But why do we keep that kind of garbage in our hearts?McCann asked. Because we believe it is safer there.And, sometimes, when you're a kid trying to survive, it's actually safer out there.Then you grow up on the outside, but inside you are still a child in a dark cave surrounded by monsters, and out of habit, you will continue to add to your collection.do you know?We all collect things we cherish. This sentence made McCann smile knowingly.He knew that Jesus was referring to what Sha Ruiyu had said about collecting tears.So, how can someone like me who is lost in the dark change? Most are pretty slow.Jesus answered.Remember, you can't do it by yourself.Some people manage to change with various coping mechanisms and psychological adjustments, but the monster is still there, just waiting for the right time to come out. So what should I do now? What you are already doing, McCann, is learning to live a life of being loved.This concept is not easy for humans.It is difficult for you to share anything.He giggled and continued.So yes, what we long for is that you turn back to us and then we will come and take up residence in your hearts and share our love.This friendship is real, not just imagined.We intend to experience this life, your life, and share this journey with you in conversation.You can share our wisdom and learn to love with our love, and we can listen to your grievances, grumbles and complaints, and McCann laughed and pushed Jesus aside. stop!Jesus suddenly cried out and stopped where he was.At first, McCann thought he had offended him, but Jesus kept his eyes firmly on the water.see it?You see, it's at it again. What?McCann stepped closer, covering his eyes with his hands, trying to see exactly what Jesus was looking at. look!look!Jesus lowered his voice and cried out.it's so beautiful!It must have been almost two feet long!Then McCann saw it, a huge gray trout gliding by just a foot or two below the surface, seemingly oblivious to the commotion it was making above. I've been trying to get him for weeks and can't get him, and he's here to tempt me!he laughed.McCann watched in amazement as Jesus began to tiptoe around, trying to keep up with the fish, before giving up.Jesus looked at McCann, excited like a child.It's great, isn't it?I may never catch it. McCann was confused by the whole picture.Jesus, why don't you just order it to not know to jump into your boat or eat your hook, aren't you the Creator? Of course, Jesus said, stooping and sliding his hands across the water.But where's the fun in that?He looked up and grinned. McCann didn't know whether to laugh or cry.He discovers how much he has grown to love this man, who is also God. Jesus stood up again, and together they continued their stroll back to the dock.McCann asked another question boldly: May I ask, why didn't you tell me about Miss earlier?Like last night, or a year ago, or ? Don't think we haven't tried it.Did you notice that in your pain you decided that I was the worst?I've been talking to you for a long time, but today is the first time you can hear it, and all those other hours were not wasted.They are like little cracks in the wall that appear one at a time, but are woven together, ready to be revealed to you today.If you want your seeds to be surrounded by soil, you must first prepare the soil. I don't know why we reject you so strongly.McCann pondered.Seems kind of stupid now. This is all a moment of grace, McCann.Jesus continued.If there was only one human being in the universe, the timing would be fairly simple.But as long as there is one more person, well, you know what happens.Each choice ripples through time and relationship, colliding with other choices.From what seemed to be one mass of chaos, Pop wove a magnificent tapestry.Only Dad can fix everything, and she does it with grace. So I guess I'll just have to follow her.McCann came to a conclusion. Yep, that's the point.Now you start to understand what it means to be a real human being. When they came to the end of the dock, Jesus jumped on it and turned to give McCann a hand.They sat together at the end of the dock, dangling barefoot in the water, watching the psychedelic effect of the wind blowing across the water.McCann broke the silence first. Did I see heaven when I first met Miss?Looks a lot like here. Well, McCann, our ultimate destiny isn't that picture of heaven you've got in your head, you know, like pearl gates and streets of gold The holy city pictured in chapter twenty-one.) But this universe has been rewashed, so heaven will indeed look like this. What are the pearl gates and gold things? That thing, good brother, Jesus said, lying down on the dock, closing his eyes to isolate the warmth and brightness of the day.That painting is me and the woman I love. McCann watched him to see if he was joking, but he was clearly serious. That picture is my bride, that is the Church: a spiritual city formed by many individuals, with a living river running through the center of the city, and trees on both sides bearing fruit that will heal the wounds and sorrows of the nations.And the city was always open, and every door into the city was made of a single pearl. He opened one eye and looked at McCann.that's me!Seeing the questioning look on McCann's face, he explained: Pearls, McCann, are the only precious stones made of pain, suffering, and ultimately death. I understand.You're the way to go, but McCann pauses for a moment, looking for the right words.You say the church is the woman you love, but I'm pretty sure I haven't met her yet.He was slightly dismissive.She's not the place I go on Sundays.He spoke more to himself, not sure if it was safe to say it. McCann, that's because you only see institutions, a man-made system.That's not what I came into the world to build.I see people and their lives, a living, breathing community that loves me, not buildings and projects. McCann was a little surprised to hear Jesus talk about the church like that, but then again, it wasn't really a surprise to him.It was a relief to him.So how do I become part of that church?he asks.This woman you seem to admire very much. It's simple, McCann.It's all about human relationship and simply sharing life.That's what we're doing right now just by doing it and staying open so others around us can find us.My church is all about people and life is all about relationships.You cannot build.That's my job, and I'm actually quite good at it.Jesus chuckled. For McCann, those words were like a breath of fresh air!Simple.Not a lot of heavy work and long requests, or sitting at countless parties, staring at the backs of people's heads that he couldn't even claim to know.Just share life.But when McCann starts to have a mess of questions in his mind, maybe he's misunderstood.This seems so easy!He found himself thinking that again unconsciously.Maybe it's because humans are so utterly lost and independent that they complicate the simple?So he thought twice about messing up what he had just begun to understand.Starting to ask that mess of questions at this point feels like throwing a lump of dirt into a small pool of clear water. In the end he just said: forget it. McCann, you don't have to figure it all out.Just be with me. After a few moments, he decided to join Jesus and lay down beside him, covering his eyes with his hands to block the sun so he could watch the clouds sweep across the afternoon sky. Honestly well, he admits, the Golden Street isn't the jackpot, and I'm not too disappointed.I get a little bored every time I listen to it, and it's not even as good as being here with you. McCann felt the moment in near silence.He could hear the hiss of the wind blowing through the trees, the laughter of the nearby stream all the way to the lake.The majesty of this day and the breathtaking beauty all around is beyond belief. I really want to understand.I mean, I find that you are so different from the well-meaning religions I'm familiar with. Well intentioned though it may be, you know religious institutions can eat people alive too!Jesus made his point.There is a whole host of things that are done in my name that have nothing to do with me and often, if not unintentionally, run counter to my purpose. Are you not too fond of religion and institutions?McCann said he wasn't sure if he was asking a question or expressing an observation. I don't create systems never have and never will. What about the institution of marriage? Marriage is not an institution, it is a relationship.Jesus paused, his voice firm and patient.As I said, I don't create institutions, that's the job of someone who wants to play God.So yes, I'm not very interested in religion.Jesus said slightly sarcastically, and wasn't too fond of politics and economics either.Jesus' face visibly sank.Why should I be interested?Those are horrific man-made trinities that plundered the Earth and deceived those I truly cared about.Which of the psychological turmoil and anxiety faced by human beings has nothing to do with these three? McCann hesitated.He didn't know what to say, it was a bit beyond his understanding.Jesus noticed McCann's glazed eyes and slowed down.Simply put, these horrors are tools that many people use to prop up their false sense of security and control.People are afraid of uncertainty, afraid of the future.These systems, organizations, and ideologies are futile to create a certain sense of certainty and security, because there is no sense of certainty and security.All this is false!The system cannot provide you with a sense of security, only I can. Wow!McCann just wanted that kind of response.The image of how nearly everyone he knew and himself, how he had managed and manipulated his life, had shrunk almost to the size of a stone.Therefore, McCann is still thinking about what he heard, and has nothing to say at the moment.so what?He turned the conversation into a question again. I don't have a work agenda here, McCann.Quite the opposite.Jesus interrupted.I have come to give you an abundant life.my life.McCann was still racking his brains to figure it out, and Jesus was still trying to explain.Enjoy the simplicity and purity of a growing friendship? Oh, got it! If you want to live without me, without these ongoing conversations as we share this journey, it will be like trying to walk on water on your own.You can't get over it!When you try, no matter how well-intentioned, you will sink.Knowing the meaning of this answer, Jesus asked, "Have you ever tried to rescue a drowning man?" McCann's chest and muscles tensed up instinctively.He didn't like the idea of ​​Josh and the canoe, and the sudden sense of panic that came from the memory. Saving people is extremely difficult unless they are willing to trust you. Yes, it is. I just ask you about this.When you start to sink, let me rescue you. That seemed like an easy request, but McCann was used to being a lifeguard, not a drowning person.Jesus, I'm not sure I know what to do Let me demonstrate to you.Just keep giving me the little bit you have and together we can watch it grow. McCann began to put on his shoes and socks.At this moment, sitting here with you, it doesn't seem difficult.But thinking about my daily life back home, I don't know how to keep the simplicity you suggest.I'm stuck in the same grasp of control as everyone else.Politics, economics, social institutions, bills, family, commitments can all be a little overwhelming.I don't know how to change it across the board. No one is asking you to change everything!Jesus said softly.That was Sha Ruiyu's mission, and she knew how to do it without abusing anyone.This whole thing is a process, not a single event.I just want you to trust me with what little trust you have and to cultivate the same love that I share with you in those you love.Your job is not to change them, or convince them.You are free to love, there are no work items that must be met. That's what I want to learn. You are learning.Jesus blinked. Jesus stood up and stretched himself, and McCann followed suit.I have heard too many lies.He admits. Jesus looked at him, and then took Macan into his arms.I know, McCann, and so do I.I just don't believe the lies. They started walking down the dock together.They slowed down again as they approached the shore.Jesus put his hand on Macon's shoulder and turned Macon gently to face him. McCann, the system of the world is like that.Institutions, systems, ideologies, all the futile endeavors that come with human beings are everywhere and interacting with them is inevitable.But I can give you the freedom to overcome your own system of power, whether religious, economic, social or political.You will grow in freedom to be in and out of various systems, to come and go between systems.Together, you and I can be in it and not be in it. But a lot of people I care about seem to be in it and belong to it.McCann thought of some of his friends and church members who had expressed love to him and his family.He knew they loved Jesus, but they had also sold themselves to church activity and patriotism. McCann, I love them.You misjudged many of them.Don't you think we must find ways to love and serve those who are in and belong to it?asked Jesus.Remember, people who know me are people who live and love freely without a work schedule. Is that what it means to be a Christian?McCann felt a little silly as he said it, but that was the summary he was trying to make in his mind. Who says what it's like to be a Christian?I am not a Christian. The thought strikes McCann as weird and unexpected, and he can't help but smile.No, I think you are not. They came to the door of the studio.Jesus stopped again.Those who love me come from every system that exists.They are Buddhist or Mormon, Baptist or Muslim, Democrat, Republican, and many never vote or belong to any Sunday or religious institution.There are murderers among my followers, and there are also many self-righteous people.Some are bankers and casino operators, but also Americans and Iraqis, Jews and Palestinians.I have no intention of turning them into Christians, but I do want to be a part of their transformation, to be Dad's children, to be my brothers and sisters, to be my lover. Does that mean, asks McCann, that all roads lead to you? Not at all, Jesus smiled, reaching for the handle of the studio door.Most roads lead nowhere.Meaning, I'll walk every road to find you.He paused.McCann, I have some work to do in the studio, so I'll see you later. good.What do you want me to do? Do whatever you want, McCann, this afternoon is yours.Jesus patted him on the shoulder and grinned.One last thing, remember earlier when you thanked me for letting you meet Missy?That was Papa's idea.With that said, he turned his back and waved to McCann, and walked into the studio. McCann immediately knew what he was going to do, so he went straight to the cabin to see if he could find Pop.