Chapter 14 heart party

Falseness has infinite combinations, but truth has only one mode of existence. Rousseau As McCann got closer to the cabin, he smelled scones or muffins or something delicious.Because of Sha Ruiyu's space-time fusion trick, it may only be an hour since lunch, but he feels like he hasn't eaten for hours.Even out of sight; he had no trouble finding the kitchen.But when he got to the back door, he was surprised and disappointed to find that the kitchen was empty.Is anyone here?he shouted. McCann, I'm on the porch, her voice comes through the open window.Come and accompany me with something to drink.

McCann poured himself some coffee and stepped out onto the front porch.Dad leaned on an old wooden lounge chair, with his eyes closed, soaking in the sunlight.how is thisGod still has time to bask in the sun?Don't you have anything else to do this afternoon? McCann, you have no idea what I'm doing right now. There was another chair across the way, so he walked over to it, and when he sat down, she opened one eye.On the small coffee table between them was a whole plate of crispy desserts that looked like they had a lot of calories, with fresh cream and lots of jams and jellies. Wow, it smells so good!he yelled.

Let's go!That's a recipe I borrowed from your great-grandmother and made from scratch with basic ingredients too!she grinned. Not sure what God meant by starting from scratch, McCann decided to ignore it.He picked up a scone and took a bite without putting anything on it.The dessert had just come out of the oven and was still warm, almost melting in his mouth. Wow!Delicious!Thanks! Well, when you see your great-grandmother, thank her well. I'm hopeful, McCann said as he chewed, but it won't be so soon. You don't want to know, do you?Dad winked playfully, then closed his eyes again.

As McCann ate another scone, he mustered up the courage to speak out.Dad?he asked, feeling less awkward about being called God Papa for the first time. What's the matter, McCann?She opened her eyes and answered with a happy smile. I have been too much for you. Well, Sophia must have influenced you. She is!I didn't know before that I'd presume to be your judge, sounds so presumptuous. Because it is what it is.Dad responded with a smile. I am so sorry.I really don't know McCann shook his head sadly. But everything is in the past, gone with the wind.I don't even want you to feel bad about it, McCann.I just want us to grow together without enmity.

I want that too, McCann said, reaching for another scone.Don't you eat it? No, just eat it.You know how, when you start cooking, you take a bite of this and that, and before you know it, you lose your appetite.Enjoy it!Said and pushed the plate towards him. He took another and sat back to taste it.Jesus said it was your idea to give me some time with Missy this afternoon.I just don't know what to say to thank you! Ah, you're welcome, dear.I am so happy myself!I'm so looking forward to getting you two together, I can't help it. I hope Cortana can experience it for herself here.

If so, it would be perfect!Dad agrees excitedly. McCann sat in silence, not sure what she meant or how to respond.Missy is special, isn't she?She shook her head back and forth.Oh, oh, oh, I really like that kid. Me too!McCann grinned, remembering his princess behind the waterfall.Princess?Fall?Wait a moment!Pop just looked at the tumbler in the lock and set it in place. Apparently you know my daughter is fascinated by waterfalls, especially the legend of Princess Munnorma.Dad nodded.Is that what this thing is about?She has to die before you can change me? Whoa, look at you, McCann, Dad leans forward.That's not how I do things.

But she loved that story so much. Of course she likes it!That's how she can appreciate what Jesus has done for her and for all mankind.The story of a person willing to give his life for the lives of others is a valuable thread in your world, revealing your needs and mine. But if she hadn't died, I wouldn't be here now McCann, just because I did incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I planned those tragedies.Never assume that I use something, that I made it, or that I need it to accomplish my plans.That will only give you a wrong perception of me.Grace does not depend on suffering, but where there is suffering, you will find grace in many facets and colors.

What you said really relieved me.I cannot bear the thought that my pain might have shortened her life. She's not your victim, McCann.She will be your pistachio now and forever.Such a purpose is enough for her. McCann sat back in his chair, looking out on the porch.I feel so full! Oh, you ate most of the scones. I didn't mean that, he laughed, you know.The world seemed to become a thousand times brighter, and I became a thousand times lighter. You are, McCann!It is not easy to be the judge of the whole world.Pop's smile reassures McCann that this new foothold is safe. It will not be easy to judge you, he added.My previous mess was worse than I thought.I completely misunderstood the meaning of you in my life.

Not quite, McCann.We've had some great times too, so let's not exaggerate. But I've always liked Jesus better than you.He seems very kind, and you seem very Are you mean?It's sad, isn't it?He came to reveal me to everyone, but most people only believed about him.Most of them still see us as good gods against bad gods, especially the religious ones.When they want people to do what they think is right, they need a stern God, and when they need forgiveness, they run to Jesus. That's right.McCann held up a finger and said. But we are all in Jesus and he really reflects my heart.I love you and invite you to love me.

But why me?I mean, why McKinsey.Allen.Philip?Why do you love such a mess?Why do you bother to keep trying to make me understand when you know all the things I think about you and all the accusations I make against you? Because that's what love does.Dad answered.Remember, McKinsey, I won't be surprised by what you do and what you choose to do in the future.I already know.Let's say, for example, I'm trying to teach you not to hide in a lie right now, but of course this is just a hypothetical.She blinked and said.Let me put it this way again, I know you have to go through forty-seven situations and events before you can really hear what I am saying before you can hear it clearly enough to agree with me and change.So when you don't hear me for the first time, I won't be discouraged or disappointed, I'm happy!Because another forty-six times will succeed.And that first time will be a cornerstone of the healing bridge that you will walk across one day, today.

Well, now I feel guilty.He admits. Tell me what it's like to feel guilty.Dad chuckled.Seriously, McKinsey, this is not to make you feel guilty.Guilt will never help you find freedom in me, at best it will only make you try harder to conform to some external ethical standards.I look inside. But what you said, I mean, was hidden in a lie.I guess I've been hiding a lie most of my life, just in a different way. Dear ones, you are a survivor of harm.It's nothing to be ashamed of.Your dad hurt you badly, life hurt you.Lies are just one of the easiest places for survivors to run to.It gives you a sense of security where you can only rely on yourself.But it's dark in there, right? too dark.McCann muttered, shaking his head. But are you willing to give up the power and security it promises you?The problem is here. What's the meaning?McCann asked, looking up at her. Lies are little fortresses in which you can feel safe and powerful.Through this little stronghold of lies, you manage to run your own life and manipulate other people as well.But fortresses need walls, so you build some walls, justifications for your lies.You know, like what you're doing right now to protect your loved ones from pain.It doesn't matter if it works or not, so that you will feel that the lie is not bad. However, I didn't tell Xiaona about the note because it would hurt her too much. see?That's it, McKinsey, justify yourself.You're telling a big lie, but you can't see it.She leans forward.Do you want me to tell you the truth? McCann knew that Dad was getting into the depths of his heart.Being able to talk about this kind of thing made him feel inexplicably relieved, and he almost laughed.He wasn't embarrassed about it anymore.Never!He spit out the answer slowly, but with a smile on his face.No, you'd better say it. She smiled back, then scowled.The truth, McCann, is that your real reason for not telling Cortana is not because you want to avoid her pain, but because you're afraid you'll have to deal with the emotions that might arise, hers and yours.Emotions scare you, McCann.You lie to protect yourself, not her!He sits back.Dad was absolutely right. Not only that, she continued, there is no love in this kind of lying.Your lies hinder your relationship with her, and her relationship with me, in the name of caring for her.If you'd told her, maybe she'd be here with us right now. Dad's words were like a punch in the stomach for McCann.Do you want her to come too? If she gets the chance to make the decision, it's yours and hers.But the point is, McCann, you don't know what's going to happen because you're so busy protecting Cortana. He struggled with guilt again.So what should I do now? You have to tell her, McKenzie.You have to face the fear of coming out of the darkness, you have to tell her, ask her forgiveness, and let her forgiveness heal you.Ask her to pray for you, McCann.You take an honest risk.When you screw up again, ask for forgiveness again.Honey, this is a process, life is real enough, you don't have to be blinded by lies.And you have to remember, I am bigger than your lies.The work I do can transcend lies without making them true or stopping the loss or harm they cause others. What if she doesn't forgive me?McCann knew that this was indeed a very deep fear in his heart.It feels safer to continue throwing new lies on top of old ones. Ah, that's the risk of confidence, McCann.Faith does not grow in certain houses.I'm not here to tell you Cortana will forgive you.Maybe she won't or can't forgive, but my life in you will transform you by your own choice, with just the right amount of risk and uncertainty, to be someone who tells the truth, and that will be far greater than raising the dead Miracle. McCann sat back and let her words take hold.So are you willing to forgive me?McCann finally asked. I have long since forgiven you, McCann.If you don't believe it, ask Jesus.Where is he. McCann took a sip of his coffee, surprised to find that it was still as hot as when he sat down.But I've been trying so hard to lock you out of my life. As far as the treasure of human fantasy independence is concerned, man becomes tenacious.They hid tightly and grasped their symptoms, found their identity and value in the brokenness, and then defended it with every ounce of strength they had.No wonder grace has little appeal.In that sense, you have been trying to lock the door of your heart from the inside. But I didn't succeed. That's because my love is greater than your stupidity.Dad said with a wink.I fit your choice perfectly into my purpose.McKinsey, there are many people like you who end up locking themselves in a very small place with a monster that will eventually betray them, thinking that this monster will fill or bring what they want, But it is not.Trapped with this fear is the chance to come unto Me once more.And the treasure they trusted in the past will also become the reason to destroy them. So you use pain to force people to come to you?Apparently McCann disagreed with what the old man said. Pop leaned forward and touched McCann's hand lightly.I also forgive you, my dear, for thinking I would.I know how difficult it is for you, even just to begin to recognize who is truly loving and kind, let alone imagining.Because you are lost in your perception of reality, but you are so sure of your own judgment.True love is never forced.She squeezed his hand lightly, then sat back. But, if I heard you right, the consequences of our selfishness are part of this whole process that leads us to the end of our fantasies and helps us find you.Is that why you don't stop every evil deed?Is that why you didn't warn me that Missy was in danger, or help us find her?The accusatory tone was no longer in McCann's voice. If only it were that easy, McKinsey.No one knows what horrors I have saved the world from because man cannot see what has not happened.All evil comes from independence, and independence is your choice.If I simply revoked all independent choices, the world as you know it would cease to exist, and love would be meaningless.This world is not my playground to save all children from evil.Evil is the chaos you have brought to me in this age, yet it will not have the final say.Evil now touches everyone I love, those who follow me and those who don't.If I take away the outcome of the people's choice, I destroy the possibility of love.Forced love is not love at all. Rubbing his hair with his hands, McCann sighed: It's really hard to understand. Dear, you think it doesn't make sense, then let me tell you one of the reasons.That's because the meaning of being human in your eyes is too narrow.Whether you understand it or not, you and this whole creation are incredible, your beauty is beyond imagination.Just because you make horrible and destructive choices doesn't mean that your inherent respect is diminished.And respect is the pinnacle of my creation and the center of my love. But McCann spoke. And, she interrupted, don't forget that in all your pain and heartbreak you are surrounded by beauty, the wonder of creation, art, your music and culture, laughter and love, whispered hopes and celebrations, new A voice of life and transformation, reconciliation and forgiveness.These too are the result of your choices, and every choice matters, even the hidden ones.So what option should we withdraw, McKinsey?Or maybe I shouldn't be creating universes at all?Perhaps Adam should be stopped before he chooses independence?What about your choice to have another daughter, or your father's choice to beat his son?You demand independence and then blame me for letting you be independent because I love you. McCann smiled.I've heard that statement before. Dad smiled back and reached out for a dessert.I just said Sophia influenced you.My purpose, McKinsey, is not to make myself or you feel better.My purpose has always been just an expression of love.I am determined to bring life from death, freedom from brokenness, and turn darkness into light.What you see as chaos, I see as fractals.Everything has to come out, even if that puts all the people I love in a world of horrific tragedy, even my closest relatives. You're talking about Jesus, right?McCann asked softly. Yes, I love that kid.Dad looked away and shook his head slightly.You know, it's all about him.One day you will know what he gave up.It was simply indescribable. McCann felt his emotions begin to churn again.When he watched his father talk about his son, something touched him deeply.He hesitated to ask, but finally broke the silence. Dad, can you clarify one thing for me?What exactly did Jesus accomplish by dying? She was still looking out at the forest.Oh, she waved.nothing.But that is the essence of everything, and that is what love was determined to achieve before creation laid its foundations.Dad took it for granted, then turned his head and smiled. Wow, that's a wide range.Can you zoom out a little?McCann asked rather boldly, or at least he thought so when he said it. Dad was not angry, but smiled at him.Phew, are you getting weaker?Let's get ahead! McCann grinned back, but his mouth was full so he didn't speak. As I said, it's all about Jesus.Creation of the universe and history are all about him.He is the very core of our purpose, in him we become whole people, so our purpose and your destiny are forever connected.You could say we put all our eggs in one human basket, without filing. Sounds adventurous.McCann speculated. Maybe for you, but not for me.What I wanted from the start, I would get, there was never any doubt about that.Dad sat forward, arms folded on the table.Beloved, you ask me what Jesus accomplished on the cross, listen now: Through his death and resurrection, I am now fully reconciled to the world. the whole world?You mean those who believe in you, right? It's the whole world, McCann.What I'm telling you is this: Reconciliation is a two-way street, and I've done my part completely, completely, and finally.It is not the essence of love to force a relationship, but it is to make a way. After speaking, the old man stood up, put away the plate, and took it into the kitchen. McCann shook his head, then looked up.So, I don't really understand the meaning of reconciliation, and I'm afraid of emotions.do you mean this? Dad didn't answer right away, but shook his head as he turned away and walked toward the kitchen.McCann overheard her muttering and complaining, as if she was talking to herself: Oh man!Sometimes it's really an idiot. He couldn't believe it.Did I just hear God call me an idiot?He yelled through the screen door. He saw her shrug her shoulders as she disappeared around the corner, and then heard her yelling back in his direction.Dear, if you want to check the seat.Yes, sir, if you want to be seated McCann laughed and sat back.He felt it was over.There are so many things in his mind that he is almost full, and his stomach is almost bursting.He took the rest of the dishes to the kitchen and put them on the bar, kissed Dad on the cheek, and headed for the back door.