Chapter 15 verbs and other freedoms

God is a verb. Fuller (Annotation: Buckminster Fuller (1895︱1983), American philosopher, architect, inventor, futurist.) McCann stepped out into the afternoon sun.The way he felt about himself was a strange mix of a wrung out rag and yet alive and exhilarating.What an incredible day, and less than half a day had passed.For a short while he stood there indecisive, before he strolled down to the lake.When he saw the canoes tied to the dock, he knew that perhaps it would always be a symbol of bittersweet, but the thought of taking a canoe tour of the lake gave him strength for the first time in years.

He untied the last canoe at the end of the dock, slipped the canoe cautiously into the lake, and started paddling to the other side.For the next few hours, he circled the lake, exploring its nooks and crannies, and found two rivers and streams, some of which fed into the lake from the upper reaches, while others carried water from the lake to the lower basin.He also found the perfect spot to float on the water and watch the falls.Alpine wildflowers bloom everywhere, adding a little bit of color to the land.It was the most serene and harmonious sense of peace that McCann hadn't felt in a long time, if he had ever felt it.

He even sang a few songs, two old poems and two old ballads, just because he wanted to.Singing is also something he hasn't done in a long time.Looking back to the distant past, he began to sing the dull short song he used to sing to Kate: Kay︱Kai︱Kate︱Kate Beautiful Kate, you are the only one I admire He thought of his daughter and couldn't help shaking Shaking his head, she was so tenacious yet so fragile; he didn't know how to touch her heart.He was no longer surprised that his eyes filled with tears so easily. He once turned his head to look at the spiral and vortex created by the blades and the stern of the boat. When he turned his head, he found Sha Ruiyu sitting on the bow watching him.She suddenly appeared and made him jump.

God!he exclaimed.You scare me. Sorry, McKinsey.She apologized.But dinner is almost ready, and it's time for you to move back to the cabin. Are you with me all this time?McCann asked, still in shock.certainly.I am always with you. Then why don't I know?McCann asked.I can feel it when you are around recently! Whether I should let you know, she explained, has absolutely nothing to do with whether I'm really here or not.I am with you all the time; sometimes I do it in a particular way to make you aware that it is more deliberate. McCann nodded in understanding, and turned the canoe back to the distant shore and cabin.At this moment, he felt her presence clearly and distinctly from a tremor that shot down his spine.They both smiled at the same time.

Even if I go home, can I always see you like this, or hear your voice? Sha Ruiyu smiled.McKinsey, you can talk to me anytime, and I'll always be with you, whether you're aware of my presence or not. Now I know, but how will I hear your voice in the future? You'll learn to hear my thoughts in your own, McKenzie.she assured him. Will it be clear?What if I confuse you with another voice?What if I'm mistaken? Sha Ruiyu laughed, the laughter was like unrestrained flowing water, almost music.Of course you can be wrong, and everyone can be wrong.But as our relationship continues to grow, you'll start to recognize my voice better.

I don't want to make mistakes.McCann grunted. Oh, McKinsey, Sha Ruiyu responded that mistakes are part of life, and Dad will also work in mistakes to achieve her goals.She looked happy, and McCann couldn't help grinning at her.Her arguments are clear and accessible. Sha Ruiyu, this is so different from everything I know.Don't get me wrong I love the experience you guys gave me this weekend, but I don't know how to get back into my life.Nor can I say, it seems easier to be with God than to think of him as the demanding foreman, and even easier to deal with the loneliness of great grief.

do you think so?she asked.Really? At least that way I seem to have some control over things. Saying seems to be right.What can that do for you?Great grief and more pain are not only unbearable for yourself, but also for those you care about the most. According to Dad, it was because I was afraid of emotions.he revealed. Sha Ruiyu laughed out loud.I thought that little exchange was hilarious. I'm afraid of emotions, McCann admits, a little annoyed that she seems so indifferent.I don't like the way emotions feel.I've hurt other people with my emotions and can't trust my emotions at all.Do you create all the emotions?Or only good emotions?

McKinsey.Sha Ruiyu seemed to leap into the air.He still had trouble looking at her, but the late afternoon sun cast on the water made it harder to see her clearly.Emotions are the color of the soul, and they are both spectacular and breathtaking.When you have no feeling, the world becomes dull and pale. Just think about how the great grief reduced the color in your life, and your life is only left with monotonous gray and black. Then help me understand those emotions.McCann pleaded. Actually, there is nothing to know.Emotions are emotions, neither good nor bad.They just exist.Here's a saying that will help you clear your mind, McKinsey.Paradigms drive perception, and perception drives emotion.Most emotions are responses to perceptions that are what you believe to be true in a given situation.If your perception is wrong, then your emotional response to the perception will also be wrong.So you check your perceptions, and beyond that, check that the paradigms you believe are true.Your belief that something is true doesn't make it true.You have to be willing to re-examine what you believe.The more you live in truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly.But even so, don't trust them more than I do.

McCann let the oar turn in his hand with the flow of the water.It feels like living in a relationship, you know, just trusting you and talking to you seems a little more complicated than simply following the rules. What kind of rules, McKinsey? You know, the various things that the scriptures tell us to do. Well she said with some hesitation.What would that be? You know, he replied sarcastically.Doing good and avoiding evil, being kind to the poor, reading the Bible, praying, going to church, that kind of thing. I understand.Did that work for you? he laughed.Ugh, I've never been good at it.Sometimes I'm doing okay, but there's always something that I'm struggling to get over, or feel guilty about.I just thought I needed to work harder, but I found it hard to maintain that motivation.

McKinsey!She reproached, but there was kindness in her words. The Bible doesn't teach you to follow the rules, that's what Jesus said.Words may tell you what God is like, and even what He wants you to be, but you can't do any of it on your own.Life and living are in him and nowhere else.My God, don't you think you can live out God's justice by yourself? Well, a little timidly, he said.But you have to admit that rules and principles are simpler than relationships. Relationships are messier than rules, yes, but rules will never give you answers to your deepest questions, and rules will never love you.

He played with one hand in the water, watching the patterns his movements made.I gradually found that the answers I knew were so few that I was almost ignorant.You know, you've turned me on its head or flipped it or something. At McKinsey, religion is about having the right answers, and some of their answers are right.But I'm about the process, taking you to the living answers, and once you find them, you start changing from within.There are a lot of smart people who can say a lot of right things from the thoughts in their heads because someone told them the right answer, but they don't even know me.So, seriously, even if they were right, how could their answer be right?You get what I mean, don't you?She smiled at her words.So even though they may be right, they are still wrong. I understand what you're talking about.I did that for many years after seminary.Sometimes, I have the right answer, but I don't know you.This weekend, sharing your life with you is far more inspiring than those answers.They continued to move lazily with the current. Then will I see you again?he asked hesitantly. certainly.You may see me in works of art, in music, in silence, or through people, through creation, or in your sorrows and joys.My ability to communicate is far and wide, life and transformational, and always in tune with Dad's frequency of kindness and love.You'll hear or see Me in a whole new way in the Bible too, just don't look for rules and principles; you look for relationship which is the way to be with us. That's still different than you sitting on the bow of my boat. There's a difference, but that's far better than you know, McKinsey.When you finally die in this world, we will be together forever and face to face. Then she disappeared, though he knew she hadn't really disappeared. Then please, help me to live in the truth.He said it out loud.Maybe that counts as prayer!he wondered. When McCann entered the hut, he saw that Jesus and Sha Ruiyu had arrived and were sitting around the table.As in the past, the old man was busy serving delicious dishes, but McCann still only recognized a few dishes, and even if he recognized them, he had to look at them again to confirm that they were familiar to him.What was conspicuously missing was vegetables.He went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when he returned, the other three had already eaten.He pulled out the fourth chair and sat down. You don't really need to eat, do you?he asked, ladle- ing what appeared to be a bland seafood broth into a bowl, filled with squid, fish, and other less recognizable delicacies. We don't have to do anything.Dad's statement was quite firm. Then why do you want to eat?McCann asked. With you, dear.You need to eat, so what better excuse could be with you? Anyway, we all love to cook.Jesus added.And I love food to die for!Nothing like some siu mai, corn steamed koriabananje (Koriabananje, Karnataka food in southern India.) to delight the taste buds, followed by some sticky toffee Sugar pudding or tiramisu with hot tea.tasty!It doesn't get any better! Everyone laughed, and then got busy and started handing out plates and helping themselves.McCann ate and listened to the good-natured banter among the three of them, chatting and laughing like old friends who knew each other well.Such communication, he thought, must be more real to these three hosts than to anyone else in or outside the universe.He envied that conversation, which was free and respectful, and couldn't help but wonder how he could share it with Cortana, maybe even with some friends. McCann was struck again by the wonder and utter absurdity of the moment.His mind wandered through the incredible conversations that had occurred to him during the previous twenty-four hours.Wow!He only stayed here for one day?And after returning home, what should he do with all this?He knew he would tell Xiaona everything.She probably wouldn't believe him, and he wouldn't blame her.In other words, he might not believe it at all. As his mind raced, he felt himself withdraw from other people's conversations.None of this can be true.He closed his eyes, trying to block out the communication going on around him.Suddenly, there was a dead silence all around.He slowly opened one eye, half expecting to wake up at home.But things didn't go as planned, Dad, Jesus, and Sha Ruiyu all stared at him with silly smiles on their faces.He didn't even want to explain his actions, he knew they knew. Instead, he pointed to one of the dishes and asked: Can I have that?The interaction resumed, and this time he listened intently.But again he felt withdrawn from the conversation.To combat this feeling, he decided to ask questions. Why do you love us humans?I thought, I realized that I hadn't figured out the question I wanted to ask when he was talking.I guess what I'm asking is why do you love me when I have nothing to give you? McCann, if you think about it, Jesus replied, it should be very liberating to know that we have nothing to give us, at least nothing that adds to or takes away from who we are, and that should relieve the pressure to try to perform. Would you love your own children more if they were well behaved?Dad added. No, I see what you mean.McCann paused.But I do feel more fulfilled because they are in my life, do you? Won't.Dad said.We are already fully satisfied within ourselves.You were designed to be a community and you were created in our image.So it is perfectly natural and right for you to feel that way about your children, or whatever it is that is added to you.Just remember, McKenzie, no matter how we choose to be with you this weekend, I'm not human, I'm not.In Jesus, I am truly human, but in essence I am completely other. You do know of course you do, McCann said apologetically.At present, I can only follow this line of thought to understand this point, and then I get lost, and my brain becomes a paste? I understand, Pop admitted.You cannot see in your mind what you cannot experience. McCann thought about it for a moment.I guess so whoever saw it?paste. Everyone else was done laughing, but McCann couldn't stop.You know I'm really grateful for all of this, but you guys threw me a bunch of stuff this weekend, so what do I do when I go back?What do you expect from me now? Both Jesus and Dad turned to Sha Ruiyu, who had a fork full of food and was about to put it in her mouth.She slowly puts the fork back on the plate, and returns McCann's confused look. McCann, she began, you must forgive these two.Human beings have a tendency to restructure language according to their own need for independence and expression, so it is difficult for me to remain silent when I hear language being misused to support rules rather than share life with us. It must be so.Dad added. So what the hell did I say?McCann asked rather curiously. McCann, finish that bite first.We can talk while you eat. McCann found himself putting the fork in his mouth too.He bit down gratefully, and Sha Ruiyu also began to speak.When she spoke, she seemed to rise from the chair, and the elusive colors and light shadows on her body flickered and shimmered. The room was vaguely filled with various fragrances, which tasted like incense, making people feel light. Let me answer you with a question.Why do you think we have the Ten Commandments?McCann was just about to put the fork into his mouth again, but he bit it down, thinking about how to answer Sha Ruiyu.I think at least what they taught me is that the Ten Commandments are a set of rules that you expect humans to follow in order to live righteously in your good grace. I hope that's true, but it's not, Sha Ruiyu retorted, how many people do you think live righteously and can enter into my good grace? If everyone is like me, there are not many people.McCann commented. Actually, only one person can be Jesus.He not only obeyed the letter of the law, but also thoroughly practiced the spirit of the law.But McKinsey, you have to understand that in order to do that, he had to rely entirely on me. Then why did you give us those rules?McCann asked. In fact, we want you to give up and stop trying to achieve righteousness by yourself.It's a mirror, just to show how filthy your independent lives are. But I'm sure you know there are plenty of people, McCann responded, who think justice is achieved by following the rules. But can you cleanse your face with a mirror that shows how filthy you are?There is no mercy or grace in the rules, not even a single mistake is tolerated.That's why Jesus has done everything for you so the Law no longer has dominion over you.And those laws that once contained unattainable demands became our promises fulfilled in you. She was already rolling now, her face writhing and moving.But it must be remembered that if one lives alone and independently, this promise is fulfilled.Jesus put to rest the demands of the law, and the law no longer had any power of accusation or command.Jesus is both the promise and the fulfillment of the promise. Are you saying I don't have to follow the rules?McCann stopped eating for the moment and focused on the conversation. Yes.In Jesus, you are not under any law.Everything is legal. You are not serious!You're confusing me again.McCann groaned. Boy, Dad interrupted, you haven't heard anything yet! McKinsey, Sha Ruiyu continued, people who are afraid of freedom are those who cannot trust us who live inside them.Trying to keep the law is really a declaration of independence, a way of continuing to control. Is that why we love the law so much and give us some control?McCann asked. The law is even more harmful than this, Sha Ruiyu continued.It empowers you to judge others and to feel superior to them.You believe that you live a higher standard of life than those you judge.Enforcing rules is a futile attempt to create certainty out of uncertainty.Especially rules expressed in more subtle terms, such as responsibilities and expectations.And contrary to what you might think, I really like uncertainty.Rules do not bring freedom, only the right to sue. Wow!McCann suddenly understood Sha Ruiyu's words.Are you saying responsibilities and expectations are just another set of rules and we don't have to be bound by them?Am I right? By the way, Dad interrupted again.Now let's get into the main topic Sha Ruiyu, and he will be handed over to you! McCann ignored Dad and chose to focus on Sha Ruiyu instead, which was not easy. Sha Ruiyu smiled at her father, then turned her attention back to McCann.She began slowly and deliberately: McKinsey, I always put verbs above nouns. She stops and waits.McCann wasn't quite sure how to make sense of her subtle argument, so he said the only thing he could think of: Huh? I, she opened her arms and embraced Jesus and Pop, I was the verb.I am who I am.I will still be me.I am a verb.I am lively, energetic, always running, moving.I am a living verb. McCann still felt as if he was dumbfounded.He knew the words she said, but just couldn't connect them. Because my essence is a verb, she continued, I work better with verbs than with nouns, such as verbs to confess, repent, live, love, respond, grow, reap, change, sow, run, dance, sing, etc. .Man, on the other hand, has a knack for turning a living and gracious verb into a dead noun or principle, and what stinks of order and what is alive and growing dies.Nouns exist because there is a created universe and physical entities, but if the universe is just a bunch of nouns, the universe is also dead.Unless I am the verb, there is no verb, and it is the verb that animates the universe. However, although a faint light began to flash in McCann's heart, he was still struggling.And what does that mean? Sha Ruiyu seemed unfazed by his lack of understanding.To bring something back to life, something fresh and alive has to be introduced into that mix.To move from something that is just a noun, to something that is alive and unpredictable, to something that is present tense, something that is alive, you have to move from law to grace.Can I give two examples? Say it, McCann agrees.I'm all ears. Jesus giggled, and McCann frowned at him before turning to Sha Ruiyu.A faint smile flitted across her face as she resumed the topic. Let's use your two words: responsibility and expectation.Before your words became nouns, they were my words, nouns underlying action and experience, the capacity to respond and anticipate.My words are alive and full of life and possibility; your words are dead, full of law, fear and judgment.That's why you don't find the word responsibility in the scriptures. Oh my god, McCann showed a strange expression and began to understand the meaning of this passage.And we still seem to use the word a lot. Religions must use laws to gain power and control those they need in order to survive.I give you the ability to respond, and your response is the freedom to love and serve in any situation, so each moment is different, unique and beautiful.Because I am your responsiveness, I must be in you.If I were just giving you responsibility, I might not have to be with you at all.Responsibility would then be a task to be performed, an obligation to be fulfilled, and something to fail. Damn, Damn!McCann spoke again, but not enthusiastically. We can use friendship as an example to see how dramatically removing the element of life from a noun can change a relationship.McCann, assuming you and I are friends, there is an expectation in our relationship.When we see each other or when we are apart, there is a longing to be together, to laugh, to talk.There is no specific definition to this expectation, it is alive and everything that emerges from our time together is a unique gift that no one else can share.But what if I changed the expectation to an expectation, spoken or unspoken?Suddenly, the law entered our relationship.I began to expect your performance to meet my expectations.Our lively friendship quickly deteriorated into a dead thing with rules and demands.It's not about you and me anymore, it's about what a friend should do, or the responsibilities of a good friend. Or, McCann adds, husband, father, employee, or all manner of responsibilities.I understand.I'd rather live in hope. same as me.Sha Ruiyu said thoughtfully. But, argues McCann, wouldn't everything fall apart without expectations and accountability? This is only true if you belong to that world, separate from Me, and under the control of the law.Responsibility and expectations underlie guilt, shame, and judgment, and provide the necessary framework for promoting the idea that outcomes are the foundation of identity and worth.You know exactly what it's like to not live up to other people's expectations. Damn, of course I know!McCann muttered to himself.That feeling can be really uncomfortable.He paused briefly as a new thought flashed through his mind.Are you saying that you have no expectations for me? Dad spoke now.Honey, I never expected anything from you or anyone.The meaning behind the expectation is that someone who does not know the future or the result will try to achieve the desired result by controlling the behavior.Through expectations, humans try to control behavior on a large scale.I know you and everything about you, why should I expect anything from what I already know?That would be stupid.Besides, because I have no expectations, you will never let me down. What?You have never been disappointed in me?McCann tried hard to digest the words. there has never been!Dad strengthened his statement.What I have is a constant and living anticipation in our relationship, and I give you the ability to respond to situations and situations you find yourself in.Even if you turn to expectations and responsibilities, even if you neither know me nor trust me. Also, Jesus interrupts, even if you will live in fear. However, McCann is still not convinced.But don't you want us to set priorities?You also know: God first, what's next, and what's next. The trouble with living in order of priority is, Sha Ruiyu interface, seeing everything as a kind of hierarchy or pyramid, which you and I have already discussed.If you put God first, what the hell does that mean?And how important is it?How much time do you have to give me before you can get on with the rest of the day?And you're much more interested in the rest. Dad interrupted again.You see, McKinsey, I don't want just a part of you or a part of your life.Even if you can give me the biggest share, that's not what I want, let alone you can't do it.I want all of you, and you and every part of your day. Jesus spoke again.McCann, I don't want to be number one on a list of values, I want to be at the center of everything.When I live in you, we can get through everything that happens to you together.I don't want to be on top of a pyramid, I want to be the center of a moving object where all the friends, family, careers, thoughts, activities in your life are connected to me, yet move back and forth with the wind, in and out, Dance the incredible dance of life. And I, Sha Ruiyu concluded, I am the wind.She smiled cheerfully and bowed. When McCann cleared his mind, the scene was silent.He had been gripping the edge of the table with both hands for a while, as if trying to hold on to something palpable in the face of a rush of ideas and images. Well, that's enough, Pop declared, rising from his chair.Time to play!You all go away first, I put away the perishable food and come back to wash these dishes later. What about giving?McCann asked. McCann, there is no such thing as a ceremony.Dad said, picking up some plates of food.So tonight, we're going to do something different.You will love it! McCann stood up and turned to follow Jesus towards the back door when he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned his head away.Sha Ruiyu stood very close, watching him intently. McKinsey, if you want, I want to give you a gift tonight.Can I touch your eyes and heal them, just tonight? McCann was surprised.My vision is very clear, isn't it? In fact, Sha Ruiyu said apologetically, you see very little, although as far as humans are concerned, you can still see quite clearly.But only tonight, and I'd love to show you a little bit of what we've seen. Then of course you can.McCann agrees.Please touch my eyes, and if you want, please do more. She held out her hand to him, and McCann closed his eyes and leaned forward.Her touch is like ice, unexpected and exhilarating.A wonderful chill ran through him, and he reached out and took her hands and pressed them to his face.But nothing happened, so he began to slowly open his eyes.