Chapter 13 Chapter Thirteen A New Century

Why can't I understand other people's feelings? When I was a child, I always looked at the faces of the children who played together and thought so. As I grew up, that young question disappeared along with my giving up on reality. After breaking up with Aoi for eight years and becoming an irrelevant person, she lingers in my heart even more, and her weight is even heavier than before.Therefore, I couldn't stare at her who suddenly appeared in front of me after eight years. Thirty-year-old Aoi.What changes have these eight blank years brought to our hearts? We haven't seen each other for eight years, and Aoi is even more beautiful than when we dated me.The thought that I would never see her again made her gradually expand into a big existence in my heart.

However, I don't know how to deal with Aoi who suddenly appeared.Together we descended the narrow steps of the cathedral, thinking of what was to come with a mixture of happiness and terror. I originally planned to give up if I didn't see her.I climbed to the top of the cathedral with the determination to make an end to these eight years.However, she appeared, and a new fire was ignited in the heart that was about to forget the past.Also because it was unexpected, the fire ignited blazingly.I misunderstood, did happiness come back? On the long way down the stairs, I felt a violent heartbeat all the time, and my footsteps were as light as if I was stepping on clouds.

Her carry-on luggage consisted only of a small bag. I helped her hold it, and she tiptoed ahead of me.Between the two, calmness and enthusiasm push each other, making us awkwardly suppress conversation and tighten our relationship. The steeple of the church of Santa Maria Novella stands in front of the relaxing scenery of Piazza Stacione.Looking at the noble figure from the corner of their eyes, the two walked towards the Santa Maria Novella station in the center of Florence. There are taxis lined up in front of the station, and passengers going to Europe and Italy are bustling.Passengers pushing suitcases are being swallowed by the mouth of the station.Different from the mechanical feeling of Tokyo and Milan, this place has a warm and clear atmosphere.

Just send it here. As Aoi said, she wanted to take back her bag from me, but I said it was okay and refused to give it to her.Actually, I don't know what it is The ceiling of the station is high, the floor is crowded with people, and the lost pigeons are perched on the iron frame on the ceiling to look down at the lower world.Aoi walked directly to the ticket office and lined up to buy tickets to Milan without hesitation. On the day of the goodbye on the top of the cathedral, she said to me that I was coming.It was unbelievable that her voice could still be heard after eight years.I couldn't respond for a moment, I desperately searched for the words to say, as before - I felt the value of living because I brought her peace of mind like a brother, and resolutely said that I was waiting for you.Although I said it, my heart was so dry that I fell into a chaos that seemed to faint on the spot.

I pondered the meaning of her coming.It is inevitable to misunderstand that the love between us has not disappeared.I was in the midst of eight years of misunderstanding that felt like ten minutes of excitement. We grope and explore in the darkness of the years, staring at each other's silhouettes.The feeling of reunion fuels the passion of the two and waters the calm. When I wanted to become one with her, my body suddenly shrank.Not only because of the intertwined joy, surprise and anxiety, but also because of the thought of the little life that was cut off from her body.Involved in complicated things, Aoi walked into the obstetrics and gynecology department alone, and cut off our love crystal without telling me.

What's wrong? Aoi stroked my face, and her dark eyes stared at my hesitant face. nothing. The momentary overwhelming thoughts made me not know what to do, and I gradually shrank.Not long after, I felt a warmth in the darkness.Aoi's hands support my body.The soft and warm palm gave me a ray of light. Aoi relaxes from the mental fatigue caused by the sudden reunion.I seem to see the eight years that made her an adult.The two soon became one and melted.Memories, senses, pain, and joy mingled and made me tremble. Some people say that men are animals that are always dragging the past, maybe they are just not good at changing their hearts.Under Aoi's guidance, I couldn't help but think of the two people who clumsily embraced each other in Meiqiu's apartment eight years ago.

When Aoi's body twisted with sensory stimulation, I stepped up.I have the skills I learned when I was in love with Bud.Between the retraction and release of strength, I remembered the tenderness of Aoi and me eight years ago. Aoi is loved by American lover and becomes so beautiful. I noticed a change in Aoi's flesh and body odor.There is absolutely no place for me to intervene in it. Shunzheng. There was excitement in Aoi's voice, but also confusion about what to do.After eight years of unrequited love, why does it feel like swimming thousands of meters?What am I worried about?Who do you care about?

Aoi is no longer Aoi. I have to be surprised again that the person I've been thinking about day and night is in my arms at this moment.I called her name: Aoi.She raised her face and stared at me with the same pupils from eight years ago.The more I thought that this was not a dream, the more inexplicably uneasy I felt. Aoi stared into my eyes, which shone with an unrealistic brilliance under the moonlight coming in from the window, making me feel dazzled.Childhood questions that I have forgotten for many years flashed in my mind.Why am I still unable to understand what Aoi is thinking?

I don't know where Aoi's thoughts are heading.I was surprised that Aoi didn't forget this little agreement, and I was also surprised that the person I had been waiting for for eight years suddenly appeared in front of me.I think it's a miracle that we reunited with a bond we never had before. However, I dare not think so.The more beautiful Aoi's eyes looked at me, the more confused I became. What are we embracing?I hugged Aoi who was eight years ago, and Aoi should be hugging me who was eight years ago.We all sleep with the past. Even if it is a second faster, I hope that now I can become familiar with the blank past as soon as possible.I want to fill the deep valley between the two, and build a bridge over it that doesn't matter if it's rushed.However, this valley is deeper and steeper than I imagined.

Even though the past was full of pain and hatred, it seemed beautiful.Therefore, I held Aoi tightly, unable to stop crying.My tears wet Aoi's shoulders, I don't know if she cried or not. When I woke up on the third morning, Aoi was not in my arms, and I was sitting alone by the window, lightly packing my luggage.I squinted to watch her move. Only three days, which is the natural result, but also like a sensational soap opera ending, we can't repair these eight years.It's just looking at the same painting and telling each other's thoughts, neither of them has the enthusiasm to restore the painting, just like a nostalgic and calm class reunion.

We talked about the past eight years.That is not to tell the other party's story, but to let oneself accept the behavior of these eight years. During these three days, we tried to fill the eight years with countless kisses and love. When words are blocked, make love.Eight years is too long.It is a big river that we will never be able to swim in a few days even if we try our best. Although I understand that the Aoi in front of me is not the Aoi eight years ago, but it will end in just three days, which is still a big shock.Her face, voice, and body were all in the past, but she lost something, as if a few holes had opened somewhere.As much as I wanted to use my restoration instincts to find it and calmly judge what restoration to try, I just couldn't. After buying the ticket, Aoi took the bag from my hand, looked at the watch, and told me there were five minutes left. Go anyway?I asked. She bit her lip and nodded, not at all, but that's where I should be. A May wind blows through the station hall.I think of the wind in May in Tokyo eight years ago.Aoi raised her face slightly.Pigeons fly by.It feels like everyone stops suddenly and the sound disappears, like in a medieval painting. I'm leaving! As Aoi said, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, kissed my cheek, and left quietly like a foreigner or a scene in a movie that said farewell too beautifully.I can no longer chase, pester and cry.Just three days.Three short days cannot fix the liquidation of the past eight years. When Aoi passed through the ticket gate and disappeared on the other side of the platform, time returned to my field of vision, and people began to move again.The sound returns, the light dances, the wind blows. My thoughts go back to the beginning of the reunion The first day, the night of May 25, 2000 AD.Aoi is in my arms.We fall asleep together. Knowing the limits of language, I still weave language desperately: I am finally back here. In her arms, she squinted her eyes and nodded as if remembering the past. We used the remaining energy to describe each other's current situation, and fell asleep exhausted by the various tastes of the reunion. The next day we wandered the streets of Florence. I enjoy the air with Kwai, and she also inhales, misses, touches, and savors the air with me. The street scene in Florence is completely out of our sight.I just relished the fact that there was Aoi by my side.I couldn't believe the fact that Aoi was by my side for a long time, so I stopped suddenly in the middle of the square a few times to peek at her face, or let her peek at me, looking at each other. Sleeping together at night.Fall asleep after intense love. Before going to bed, she said she always felt incredible, and I replied that it was very strange.The tightly held hands in the blanket convey the warmth of the past. Aoi said, eight years?I said, it's so long!Aoi went on to say, when you loved me, I said, very much. Aoi raised her voice slightly and said, compared to eight years ago, what has changed?What hasn't changed?I replied in ciphered words that it seemed like everything had changed, when in fact nothing might have changed. However, the password was immediately deciphered.She turned sideways suddenly, and I felt the dryness of my retina.Calm gradually drives out enthusiasm.Just as morning drives out night at dawn every day in this world. On the third day, Aoi stood by the window overlooking the Aruno River and asked, where are we going today? Contrary to Florence's bright and sunny weather, her voice was gloomy.The side face of her sees helplessness in the face of the violence of time. I said, don't force yourself out!The two leaned against the wall, talking about their eight years. The life described by Aoi shines with happiness, and the stage where I used to be active is like a remote place overgrown with wild grass. So happy!I said. Aoi pursed her lips into a straight line, smiling at me, and nodded slightly. That was the defining moment.The old actor stood at a loss on the stage in the wild grass, desperately trying to remember the unspeakable lines. I will not admit defeat and tell the story of the past eight years. It is the only acting skill that shows my strong character. So happy!yes!Aoi is so happy There is an American lover, a city waiting for her, a place to work, a close relative like Federica, and a considerate good friend.I don't have the confidence to take Aoi away from here.That enthusiasm is wrong. I talked about the days with Yashi.Somewhat exaggerated, it is the sense of confrontation that makes me so.I apologized to Yashi in my heart, but I still kept talking. However, I have been living in the years of dissatisfaction, so I have never forgotten this agreement.I said. Aoi is facing me straight, Shunzheng!Reach out and touch my face. Um? Shunzheng. Shunzheng, Shunzheng, Shunzheng.Mei's voice is still the thin, weak and sweet voice of eight years ago. Do it again!I love you!Intense to the point that you will never understand! OK, let's do it!The two embraced in the sunlight overflowing in the room.It was the first time I saw Aoi's flesh floating in the light.The changes of the past eight years have emerged here. When did you dare to have sex in a bright place? Beautiful flesh.It has the eternal beauty and dignity of the nudes in Raphael's paintings that have survived for centuries. After the end, Aoi couldn't wait to get up and change clothes.I was wearing a blanket and stared at Aoi who was trying to erase something. Shall we go have a nice lunch?Because I took the afternoon train back.She cheered up and said as if she was about to wave something away. Like the last day of a graduation trip.I gave up on that situation, smiled and said: I know, don't worry, I won't keep you. The last sentence is the persistence of the loser who tries his best and refuses to admit defeat.I endured my sadness, imitating the classic smile of the statue, and forced myself to smile. Aoi, I'm facing her back, it's good to see you! Aoi slowly turned around and whispered: Me too. The domestic express train that departed at 17:51 slowly slid out of the platform.The bulky body exudes the bravery of medieval warriors, which matches this historical city quite well. I watched her go at the ticket gate.new century.What should I live on as food?Or, can it survive? Calm triumphed over passion in the end.The lost pigeon in the station finally found the exit and flew out.I sigh softly.A flashy moment.It closed in a hurry without even having time to ruminate.Thinking of whether I had waited eight years for this to end, I felt paralyzed and unable to move.Same as dying. what can we do about it?Are you going back to Tokyo?Or stay here for a while?I have absolutely no idea. I managed to get out of the station.But his steps were slow, and his eyes were dark.In the hustle and bustle of travelers hurrying at dusk, I walked dejectedly. The mission in this city is over.Thinking of this, everything looks different, even the familiar streets and pedestrians.Everything looks like Florence in the picture postcards sold over there. For the past eight years, I have lived with all my heart and soul.Relying on this agreement as the survival value, along the way.Now, will God tell me what to start living with only the past on my back? I saw the dome of the cathedral, rising majestically at the end of the street.I recall how moved I was when I first saw the dome. There was enthusiasm then.I believe that one day I will meet Aoi here again. I keep calling Aoi's name in my heart like a prayer every day.Now, like a condemned prisoner, I can no longer imagine a future, because we have met again on the top of the cathedral.I looked sadly at the dome above my head and thought, if we hadn't met again If there is no reunion, I may continue to live with the past.A minaret towering over a sky reddened by the setting sun.Birds flocked across the sky above the spire and between the slits of space.I watched the area without moving. Why did something suddenly cross my mind.Yes, I flipped my mind, why?Why did Aoi come? I felt my little passion fighting back.At this moment, both the past and the future have faded, and only the present is blooming with true color.A cool wind blows across the square.I watch the direction of the wind.The long shadows on the pavement of the people gathered in the cathedral from all directions swayed.I thought, past, future and present don't matter.It is only this moment that really turns the world, and it is the spark that bursts out when the passions collide with each other at the right time. Don't be too imprisoned in the past, don't dream too much about the future.My epiphany is not a point now, but something that lasts forever.I can't revive the past, don't look forward to the future, but grasp the present. Didn't she come here just because she remembered that small, hardly an agreement ten years ago?Regardless of whether she is lucky or not, the important thing is that she still remembers the past firmly and came to this city, so that we can meet again in reality. With timidity, fear, and anxiety, I turned everything over and examined it. The buds of opportunity were withering, and I was afraid that they would never come to the ground again.It's not enough for me to regret. sunflower! I called her again in my heart.The important thing is now.I turned and walked towards the Santa Maria Novella station. I haven't tried it yet, and I have to send her back to her present without trying to freeze these eight years again. As I approached the station, I switched to running, determined not to miss it. I look up at the oversized timetable at the station.The fastest bus is the Eurostar leaving at 18:19.If I take this train, it will be exactly 21 o'clock when I arrive in Milan, and I will arrive at the station fifteen minutes earlier than the express train that Aoi took.Fifteen minutes, just these fifteen minutes, I can grasp the future.You still have time. I made my way through the passing pedestrians and went straight to the Eurostar ticket office. One Eurostar to Milan. The conductor quickly glanced at the timetable, and his thick fingers searched along the timetable.Operate the machine and quickly spit out a ticket. It's 18:19. Luckily for you, there are all vacant seats. However, you'd better hurry up. We're about to drive. I took the ticket and ran to the platform.What do I want to do?Want to meet her?What are your plans then?All kinds of thoughts flashed through his mind. I can't know for sure.I run because I don't know. I just want to see her again.Anyway, I want to find myself in her pupils again. Go through the ticket gate and the Eurostar stops at the platform.The brilliance of the setting sun makes the steel body shine with a blunt luster, highlighting the awe-inspiring posture of the Trans-European Railway. I looked ahead of the tracks.I swear, I will live the new century quietly waiting for me in the place where this bus takes me. New century? I took a deep breath and stepped up the steps of the Eurostar with my right foot.