Chapter 12 Chapter 12 Sunset

In May, the wind blowing over the small high hills brushed my rough cheeks. Under the sunlight, several tombs stand side by side on a gentle slope, overlooking the town of Florence. I was about to pay homage to the brand new tomb when a bee flew out of nowhere and circled around me.The sound of fluttering wings resounded strangely in the quiet pastoral scenery, as if trying to drive me away The bee hovered before my eyes, and behind it was Giovanna's tombstone. I backed away timidly.As if hearing that you should not come here, you turned around sadly.I made a hasty obeisance and left there.

It has been a month since the hotel recommended by Yingzhu moved to a cheap hotel next to the station.This hotel run by an old couple can't be called cozy, but it comes with breakfast.I went back to the hotel first, took a shower, and went out to eat at a nearby restaurant. I'm the only customer in the restaurant.I ate light pasta that seemed to have been sent from as far away as Ardente and was already chewy.Looking at the dark street through the window.Students and tourists stride by.The light falling from the sky floats on the ground. Aoi's birthday is tomorrow.But what about tomorrow?After a day of leisure and a long night without change, tomorrow comes as usual, and I have to realize life again

Thinking of the future, I feel sad at this time.But at this very moment when there is a great possibility that nothing will happen, it seems that my life of thirty years has suddenly returned to a blank state.I don't know what to do, I can only face life again in a daze. But it's not scary.Indeed, there is only anxiety in the future, but now that I have reached this point, no matter what the result is, I can accept it clearly.Even if nothing happens, I am determined to live with the memories of Aoi for the rest of my life.Live with the memory of Aoi A few days ago, Yingzhu and I were talking about this.She shook her head and said it was unfortunate.She said: Although life is only once, it’s okay to start over a few times, you should find your new partner.Although I agreed with my mouth, I have already decided in my heart.

I'm going to travel again.If nothing happens tomorrow, I'll reset myself tomorrow and go out with the memory of Kazuoi back in the tote bag again.I want to go to a foreign country that I have never been to and live a completely different life again.I'm going to break free from all ties and spend the rest of my time traveling. I would meet person after person and say goodbye to person after person.Betrayal, graduation, transfer, travel, farewell.I can give more reasons to prove that people live for separation.Everyone needs new encounters in order to escape pain. However, I couldn't forget about Aoi and moved on to my next goal.Even if people think I'm unmanly, it's okay because that's how I live.

There was a figure running towards the front of the street in small steps.When the shadow passed where the light hit, I recognized the old gentleman from the hotel.I waved to him, and he ran towards me with an expression like he was saying he was here.He gasped and said: Your grandfather is not good! Grandpa's death seemed to wake me up.Unlike Giovanna's death, it was just a small hole in my heart.I think of the pain when my grandpa suddenly beat my stomach. Opportunity to take advantage of Grandpa's voice rang in my ears.Grandpa held my hand tightly when we left Japan.He didn't say much, perhaps aware of the separation in this world.His hands were cold and had lost the warmth of blood.

I called Tokyo from the hotel, and my aunt answered the phone.My aunt spoke in a steady voice when she described the state of her grandfather's deathbed.In my mind, the face of my grandfather who died in his sleep appeared in my mind. There will be a family sacrifice the day after tomorrow, will you come back?I shook my head slightly and remained silent.My aunt said: Don't force it, but Grandpa misses you the most! I want to go back, but now there is something going on here, so I can't go back. Unlike the clear voice outline of an international call, it clearly conveyed the news of Grandpa's death.

Your dad will be back for the farewell ceremony.Grandpa handed over to the lawyer the suicide note that recorded most of the property left to you. Your father is desperate for money, and he may try his best to get it. money? Grandpa taught me a lot of things. For me, grandpa is like my own parents. I really can't wait to fly back right now.However, I have to stay in this city tomorrow no matter what. I have been waiting for this day for the past eight years.I am unfilial for not being able to rush back to see grandpa for the last time, I am really ashamed, but please forgive me no matter what.

My aunt said something, I understand, the feeling of that voice is not gloomy. Shunzheng, you can pay homage to grandpa there!The mind must be able to understand. When I hung up the phone, my eyes felt hot.The old couple stared at me from inside the counter. Are you going back to Japan? The old woman's voice was very kind, and I shook my head. I really want to go back, but there are still unfinished things here The old man had a regretful expression. Can I climb the cathedral tomorrow?I asked. The old lady looked at the calendar, Thursday, no problem, do you want to pray? I didn't answer the old lady directly, and asked another question: When can I climb to the top dome?The old lady opened a book on the counter and looked at it.

It starts at eight in the morning. After thanking me softly, I went back to the room and lay down on the hard bed in a big shape, looking at the ceiling.A quiet day.Even as a major event in my life looms, the world continues to spin quietly. Inhale, exhale, and close your eyes.A tear ran down his cheek. I couldn't sleep that night, so I had no choice but to drink more wine before going to bed.Waking up while the alcohol wears off, before dawn. The sky was getting white, and I opened the window to breathe the air outside.A breath of coolness deep in the nostrils, the morning air seeping into the lungs.May 25, 2000 AD.

Change your clothes and go out before sunrise.As soon as he stepped out of the alleyway filled with morning fog, his body shivered suddenly.I walked step by step as if confirming the steps.There was no one moving on the road.When I came to the street, the fog had disappeared, and I could see the great dome of the cathedral in the distance.From any corner of the city, the 106-meter-high dome can be seen.The people of this city have lived and gazed at this dome for generations. Will we meet?still The closer you get to the cathedral, the more you fall into the gap between deep expectation and anxiety.Although I pass by here every day, today's feeling is particularly different.I told myself that too much expectation is not helpful.It is only natural for Kui Ruo to miss the appointment, because it was only a vague agreement ten years ago

Even if I don't see Aoi, I will wait on this dome until the last moment.While waiting, repair the regrets in my heart for the past eight years.I told myself that even if Aoi didn't come, I would let the self I destroyed with my own hands be reborn, and walk down here proudly. I waited with bated breath for dawn.At dawn, pigeons flew over the Great Dome.A pair of gypsy father and son embraced and slept in the cathedral square.I squatted on the pavement in the middle of the square.A cold morning wind blew by. People emerged one after another from the streets and alleyways and walked past me.The restaurant opened at seven, and I bought bread and drinks.The gypsy father and son woke up, moved hand in hand to a place with many pedestrians, took out the empty money jar and put it on the sidewalk.The father holds his son, motionless as a sculpture.The streets of Florence come alive with centrifugal force as the sun shines on them. At half past eight, the cathedral opened and I walked in.Inside the church was a huge hollow, filled with heavy air.I paid 10,000 lire and finally took a big step towards the dome. The stairs are so narrow that only two adults can pass by.Holding on to the shady stone wall, I stepped up step by step along the more than 400 spiral steps. I was sweating very quickly.I thought I had climbed high enough, but I couldn't reach the top of the church.I felt dizzy as if the stairs would never end.I took off all my clothes one by one until only a T-shirt was left. I rummaged through memory.Encounter with Aoi, when the romance burns fiercely, the happy time of semi-cohabitation, abortion, breakup.Every time I wipe my sweat, these images appear and disappear in my eyelids.so sad.A series of memories weighed heavily on the spine.I was out of breath and stopped several times on the way to stretch my waist to rest. When I finally climbed to the dome, what awaited me was the spring breeze blowing through Florence.Unconsciously, there was a sound.The 360-degree endless and vast scenery unfolds in front of you.After rushing out of the chaotic tunnel, this scenery is waiting in front of me, I feel really happy and peaceful. No one has come to the top yet.I walked around the observatory overlooking Florence at 360 degrees.A city with a history.Now that the new millennium is approaching in the 21st century, the medieval city is still carefully preserved.The city where stupidity and greatness live together.A city in constant repair.The city that keeps staring at the past I sat down directly behind the dome. The length of time to wait is also the length of time to comprehend.In order to comprehend the reality that lies ahead, man is immersed in the waiting time.In my case, that was eight years long. So now, I may be calmer than expected.I'm not the same as I was yesterday.Aoi may not come, but these eight years have liberated me.I'm here to end the past with Aoi and my present. There is a blue sky in front of me.When I was young I wanted to be a painter who only painted the sky.I want to be a painter of the sky more than a painter. The sky is fickle.Clouds don't stay in shape, they always float freely.Looking up at the sky is like gazing inward.Every time I paint the sky, my mind finds peace. Just as there are different kinds of skies, there are also different kinds of people.After thinking about it this way, I feel that everything can be relieved. Low skies, high skies. Big sky, narrow sky. Blue skies, dark skies. Clear sky, dirty sky. But no matter what kind of sky it is, the sky is still the sky.On top of my head, give me peace of mind. I will speak to the sky that is suddenly overcast.It seems to be raining, but, can you bear it until I go home?So I shouted to the clear sky: Hello, hello, hello! As long as there is sky, I am not alone.I don't care when I'm bullied at school, beaten by my father at home, or lonely in the city.At times like this, I always look at the sky first.If I had a sketchbook with me at that time, I would always quickly draw a moment of eternity before the sky changes. The sky is in sight.The vast sky with nothing to hide.A dazzling blue and white sky filled with light particles.There haven't been clearer skies in the past eight years.I knelt down and stared straight at the sky. Many tourists come up.Visitors from all over the world.There was a lot of laughter.Only I pursed my lips and stared ahead.Aoi seemed to be hanging in the blue sky, looking at me and smiling.The Aoi I knew was a twenty-year-old college girl, and now she is thirty.But even at forty or fifty years old, Aoi is still Aoi. I stuff the bread into my mouth.The sun is directly above.I thought, I really didn't come.I chewed the bread, and my previously calm heart was shaken.I looked up at the sky again, with a smile on my lips.When you are frustrated, try to smile!This is what Giovanna taught me.I whisper to the sky: Thank you.I must thank the many people I have met here. The sun begins to dip.The day is coming to an end.The dome will close at 6:20. A couple who appeared to be German sat down next to me.The two kissed secretly while avoiding me.The strange foreign language swayed in my mind with a brisk rhythm.I don't know what kind of love words they said, but I can see that they are the happiest people in the world.Laughter burst out with happiness.I look at the woman and smile at her, and the man looks at me too. Hello!He greeted me with Japanese words. Bitte. I answer in the only German I know. Both are smiling. Traveling alone?The man asked in English. No, I'm waiting for someone here. The woman asked if she was a lover? , I shrugged and replied that it was a former lover. How long have you been waiting?the man asked. Although they asked me how long I had been waiting for today, I replied ten years.The two put away their smiles. Ten years ago, we made an appointment to meet here on May 25, 2000. The woman rolled up her blond hair and sighed softly.I told myself not to interfere with their happiness, not to tell them such personal things.But I couldn't stop the urge to talk. The agreement is not so clear, it is just an ambiguous agreement with a little joke. But you have carefully carried it to this day. After I nodded, the man took out a plastic box containing four-leaf wood sorrel from his pocket and handed it to me.I asked: what is this? lucky thing!a small gift. Please accept it. The two smiled brightly.I took the card which said MHMBCONA FORTCNA (Wishing you happiness) in Italian. is this okay?The man asked the woman. The corners of the woman's mouth revealed a new and most clearly defined smile. Great! Bought it in Venice, you should take it with you.The man said. But MHMBUONA RORTUNA. The German couple waited with me for a while, and when the sun began to sink completely, they stayed and wished you luck before leaving. Four-leaf clover?The small wood sorrel in the plastic box has four leaves. The sky began to turn red, and the roof of the building reflected the sun's rays.Sure enough, he didn't come!I sighed and clutched the four-leaf wood sorrel, just then Shunzheng! The sound passed by the ears.I thought it was a prank by the wind.However, the ear does have a feeling of nostalgia.Looking back, the person who made me wait anxiously was standing there. Because I have been imagining the Aoi in the past, my eyes are unknowingly frozen on the subtle and beautiful Aoi created by these eight years of estrangement. sunflower! I shouted the name with all my might.I stood up slowly and took a step as if being sucked in.Aoi who is more elegant than ever is more feminine.I forgot that I was still as shabby as before, and took a few steps forward. You're here! After climbing the 400-step staircase, she was sweating and said, wiping the sweat with the back of her hand. I said, I'm waiting for you, she nodded with a hum. The setting sun stained her face red.Even at this time, the city of Florence is still in the quiet stream of time.Even with such an important event in my life, the most leisurely wind in the world still blows on the top of the cathedral. I want to say too much at the moment, and the words bounce off my throat one by one like bubbles that blow up and disappear. You still remember! I couldn't believe it was real and could only stare blankly at her.Aoi said it for me.The sound of nostalgia.The immatureness of the teens was still in the voice. Happy thirtieth birthday! Thanks. Only then did the two smile at each other.But that wasn't a smile overflowing with joy, but an illusory laugh that seemed to take a breath.The two immediately resumed their straight line of sight and serious expressions staring at reality. what to do?I have no idea.I couldn't contain the strange feeling of dreams becoming reality.I had given up, thinking that she would not come, but Aoi was standing in front of me right now. I didn't expect you to come. I told her honestly, and she said: Me too. I thought you had forgotten that promise. Me too. I heard you were happy and thought you would never come. Aoi bit her lip and lowered her eyes. However, you are still here. Aoi nodded. You are really here. Aoi looked straight at me again. I am coming. Who should I thank?Or it's too early to say thank you.The wind blows, flipping her soft hair I've been, have been waiting for this day. She said nothing.I seemed to be afraid, hesitant and vigilant, my throat was suddenly strangled, and I couldn't speak for a while Aoi approached me a few steps. Before her eyes were the black and gentle eyes of Aoi who kept dreaming.The embankment of emotion collapsed, and sighs poured out.So sad, I don't know what to do.I, who have been staring at the past, only now start to think about the present.The sunflower in front of you is not the past, the sunflower in front of you is the future.Thinking of this, a great powerless anxiety and happiness surged in my heart. The next moment, Aoi rushed into my arms.I hugged her, it was too soft reality.The eight years of repressed thoughts collapsed at this moment.I put my arms around her tightly.A body that is still slender than when he was a student.The outlines of skeletons and flesh came clearly.That is not the Aoi in the dream, but the Aoi living in the present moment. sunflower. Like to release eight years of pain. sunflower. My voice trembled. Shun Zheng I hugged her tightly with the strength I would have shaken off those eight years of pain.The sky expands in view.The vague and impermanent sunset glow of the ancient capital.