Chapter 7 Volume Six Boudoir Style Department

Bridal couple A beautiful woman is newly married. On the night of rejoicing, the beautiful woman challenged her and said: You are a generation of scholars, and a pair is born from slaves. Please treat them.If the answer is right, Fang Xu Yunyu, otherwise, he will not follow.The groom said: I would like to hear.The woman said: The willow color is golden and tender, the pear blossoms are white and snow-scented, do you love it?The bridegroom said to him: "The universe is big in the cave, and the sun and the moon are long in the pot. Are you afraid?" Baptism When a bride pays her respects and gives birth to a child, the mother-in-law is so ashamed that she rushes to take it away.The bride said: If I knew how much my mother-in-law cherished me, I'd ask someone to bring all Ah Da and Ah Er here.

Robbery There are married women who are rich and men poor. The man's family is worried about her new marriage, so he leads the crowd to snatch the marriage, and betrays his aunt by mistake.The woman's family shouted anxiously: "It's time to grab the job!"My aunt said on her back: Not bad, not bad!Go up quickly, don't believe that he is coaxing you. two tanks There is a woman who chooses a match, suitable for both families, the owner of the east family is ugly but rich, and the son of the west family is beautiful but poor.His parents asked him who he wanted to be suitable for.The woman said: "Two tanks."Asked why, the answer was: I like to eat at the east house and go to sleep at the west house.

Both ends The husband persuades the bride to undress.The woman said: "I don't want to break my mother's commandment, and my mother's order must not be violated; my husband advises me to understand, but my husband's order must not be violated; what can I do?"While pondering, the husband forced it, and the woman said: I know it!Just take off the lower part and make the best of both. Ask sister-in-law A woman who was not married asked her sister-in-law privately, "Is this a happy thing?"Sister-in-law said: "There is something very pleasant. It is only for the ceremony of Duke Zhou to make couple's ears."When her daughter returned to Ning after she got married, when she saw her sister-in-law, she laughed and scolded her, saying, "What a liar."

ungrateful A prostitute stood leaning against the door. Seeing a visitor passing by, she dragged someone to nail them. It happened to be on the upper floor opposite the door. The two sisters-in-law opened the window to see her. The aunt asked her, "What's the matter with him?"Sister-in-law said: "I want him to have sex."After a while, the prostitute took the clip and cut it and paid it. The aunt said: "What does he want to do?"Sister-in-law said: "After passing the room, ask him to pay the money."Gu Tan said: "It's so heartless, how can I ask him to come out instead."

bad breath On the first night of a bride, the groom is not very good at it, so he puts the penis and does not move.The woman moaned and said: Ouch, it's not good, it hurts!The husband said: Take it out?The woman groaned again and said: Oh, no, it hurts!The husband said, "It hurts when you go in, and it hurts when you go out. What do you want?"The woman said: "You take it in and out of the room to see." Xie Zhougong A daughter was married for the first time, and she cried and asked her sister-in-law, "Who made this gift?"Sister-in-law said: Duke Zhou.The female general Zhou Gong scolded endlessly.When I returned to Ning at the full moon, I asked my sister-in-law, "Where is Duke Zhou?"Sister-in-law said: He is an ancient man, why seek him?The woman said: I want to make a pair of shoes to thank him.

knot The newlyweds go to bed at the first night, which makes the sex endless.Xi Niang persuaded her next door: "This is a major issue in human relations. Everyone is like this. Don't be shy."The newcomer said: You don't know, the belt of the trousers is tied to a knot tonight. kiss A girl married for the first time, the next morning the groom stood on his back, the girl pulled his mouth, and made several kisses, Lang said angrily: "How can you not be ashamed?"The woman should say, "Actually, I made a mistake for a while. I didn't know it was you. Don't blame it, don't blame it."

vent A daughter is unmarried, and her parents ask for a re-employment.On the first night of the marriage, the son-in-law blamed the Yue family for arguing about the money and etiquette, because of hatred, he said: "Your parents are so ruthless, I only take it out on you."It's a big one.Shaoqing said again: "Your brother and sister-in-law are also very hateful, and they also vented on you."Play hard again.After two sessions, I was exhausted and fell asleep unconsciously.The woman woke up and said: "Although my brother is young, he talks too much every day, but he is very tired."

adultery When a woman commits adultery, her parents know about it and are responsible for it.The woman Lai said: "It was the god who raped me, it was not my intention."Parents said: Why don't you shout?The woman said: My mother, shouting is what I want to shout.You think at that time, my tongue was tightly held in his mouth, how could I scream. with a pillow A woman married in a foreign land and returned to Ning. The mother asked: "Is the climate the same?"The answer is: everything else is the same, only the pillow is different.My hometown puts the head on it, and the one on the other side under the waist.

Broker On the first night of the couple's first night, Lang touched his head with his hands and was very pleased. He touched his nipples and belly and was very happy. When he touched his lower body, he could not see his feet. newcomer cry When the young girl gets married, the bride returns.The mistress asked: how has the girl been doing these days?The answer was: I heard the girl cry the first night, and I thought it was because of fear.The second night I don't want officials to cry.Mother asked: why?Cloud: The girl hurt her buttocks.On the third night, the married girl cried again.Mother said: "It's even more strange."Xi Niang said: "I once asked, and he said that such a good girl only wants to die."

tongue sweet On the wedding night, send the relatives off.The next day, the chef picked up some tabletops, but he couldn't find a sugar figurine, so he asked around.The newlyweds suddenly burst out laughing, and Xi Niang asked next to him: What are you laughing at?The woman replied: No wonder a person's tongue was sweet last night. get up A newly married couple slept until noon.The mother suspected that he was too sleepy, so she sent her maidservant to sneak in to find out.The servant girl replied: "Officials and ladies, everyone is only halfway up."When the mother asked why, the maid said: "The officials got up the upper body, but the lady only got up the lower body."

big talk A daughter was married and sat on the bed, and she held the ceremony to withdraw the tent and said: "To withdraw the tent, the official's wife is easy to ring the bell."The busy woman said at the interface: Don't be afraid.The concubine said, "It's not appropriate for a bride to speak so fast."The bride said: "It's not that I didn't say anything, so I could enter the door. Damn it, he scares me with such big words." exactly When the bride gets married, she sits on the bed and removes the tent, and reads the palm ceremony: the couple are both happy, and the officials are as tough as guns.The escort woman responded, "It's too hard!"The bride said, "If you want to say it, it's just right." eagle peck A mother gives birth to a son and a daughter, and the daughter is especially beloved.And after the remarriage, I miss it endlessly.The Master said: People don't want to raise their daughters anymore. If they grow up like this, it's like being caught by a hungry eagle with a light claw.The master said: "Amu, Amu, they are pecking there now." half virgin There are widows who marry and ask for a heavy hire.The media said: Remarriage is different from first marriage, who is willing to pay a high price.The woman said: I am still a virgin, I have never broken my body.The matchmaker said: "Who would believe me when I saw that I was married and now I am a widow?"The woman said: To tell you the truth, my husband's penis is small, so the outside is half. Although he was a bigamist, he is actually a virgin inside. Naga One woman was sleepless in the daytime, and the other played with the eggplant into the female and left.The woman feels that seeing the eggplant inside, she knows that she has been deceived by others, and she keeps cursing.The neighbor woman said: "It's very ugly, so please save your mouth."The woman said, "It's not like that. Don't scold me for stuffing eggplants. In the future, winter melons and gourds will come together." Anger The husband and wife are going to have trouble, because the two sons are not around, and they don't know if they have slept soundly.They each called out to try it out.The two sons heard it but didn't respond, knowing that they wanted to do this.And when the clouds and rain were blowing, his mother was so happy that she cried out to die.One son laughed out loud, and the mother felt ashamed and taunted.Another son said: "Good fight, good fight, mother will not cry when she dies, but will laugh instead." Freeze The couple are sleeping soundly, and they have sympathy at will.After the matter is over, ask his wife if she is refreshing?After asking several words, my wife blocked my mouth and didn't answer.The son said at the back of his feet: "Mother, hurry up and say it, I have frozen to death here." soft radish The aunt and sister-in-law were weaving, and occasionally saw a basket of radishes. The aunt said: "The radish in the basket will become a man's penis, that's good."Sister-in-law said: softer is better.The aunt said: Why do you want to be soft?Sister-in-law said: If the soft ones become hard, one basket is two baskets. catch fleas The wife loves cloud and rain, and every time she blames her husband for being sleepy, she waits for him to close his eyes and turns over to disturb him.Husband asked: Why don't you sleep?Said: Fleas bite people's ears.The husband knows what he wants, and makes friends with him.The wife's wish is fulfilled, but she sleeps peacefully until dawn.The husband held on to his things and sighed: "I've been with him all my life, but I didn't know he had this ability."Wife said: what is it?The husband said: "I can catch fleas." Thieves When the thief went to the bedroom, he saw a naked maid sleeping soundly, and immediately had sex with her.The servant girl shouted that there was a thief, and the thief continued to work hard.Then the maid asked in a low voice, "Brother thief, when did you come?" Rice The poor man is getting married with his wife, and the wife says: "The rice is gone, why are you happy?"Husband impotence.Wife Fuyun: Even so, if the altar is cleaned up, there is still enough to eat tomorrow. beating Those who open a rotten shop are like couples, and the wife thinks the things are small.The husband sneaked out, took the plaster and beat it, and stuffed it in secretly.The wife said: "What did you eat there, this thing suddenly became big!"The weather is warm, why is it freezing him so cold? Jiufu A woman was in labor and had severe pain in her abdomen. She blamed her husband and said, "It's all your fault, and I'm so troubled."More than complaining.The husband said: "Lady, I don't want you to complain, but this thing is always bad. If you castrate it, you will never get rid of this trouble!"So he took a knife and wanted to cut.The wife yelled loudly: "Live the enemy!"I'm dying of pain and come back to life, it's better now, you're urging me to die again. named A woman was very traumatized when she was about to give birth, and she swore to her husband, "I'm not allowed to get close to me in the future, and I would rather have no children for the rest of my life than do that business."The husband said: I respect my life.And gave birth to a daughter, the husband and wife agreed to name it, and the wife said: "Call me to recruit a younger brother." Not afraid of death A woman had a very difficult childbirth, because she blamed her husband and said: "It's all your crimes that have caused me to suffer today."The husband didn't like it very much, so he warned each other: from now on, we should separate our beds and don't do this again.The wife ran it.After the full moon, the sound of opening the door was suddenly heard at night.Husband asked: Who is it?The wife responded, "The one who is not afraid of death has come again." Asceticism A poor family had so many children that it was hard for them to live and eat.The husband blames his wife and says: Too many men make you tired, who taught you how many men you have?Wife said: few desires and many sons, who taught you few desires! Many men One person raised several words in succession, and the doctor flattered him, saying: "Many men with few desires."Brother is young and mature, because of too much maintenance.Why not take advantage of this to be strong and happy.The wife responded behind the screen: "Mr. is very right."I also became impatient with childbirth and felt extremely miserable. ask One came back from outside and asked his son privately, "Where did mother go?"The answer is: the partition wall.Q: What do you do?The son said: I think it's eating crabs with my grandfather.Ask again: How do you know it?The son said: "I only heard that: clap it away, shrink your feet."Mother cried again: "Don't panic, my dear father." Pray to God One person is impotent and prays to God with a sacrificial ritual.The shaman wished and said: Shiyang Shiyang, Gu De's egg is as hard as a gun.The sick man said: How dare you look at this?The wife shouted from behind the screen: It costs a lot of money and money, so it must be the same! lower half One person wants too much and is very tired. The couple meet: next time it will be cloudy and rainy, only half of it will be released.And to do things, the wife takes the husband's waist to accept it.The husband made an appointment before, and the wife said: I said it was the second half. not allowed When a woman sees a man with a big nose, she jokes, "You have a big nose, and you have a big thing."When a man sees a woman with a small mouth, he jokes, "You have a small mouth and a small yin."The two became excited, and it became cloud and rain.Unexpectedly, the man's thing is very thin, while the woman's yin is very large. The woman said: "So your nose is not right."The man said: So your mouth is not allowed. Litigation A woman complained to the official that she went to draw water from the well and was raped from behind.The official said, "Why didn't you stand up then?"Answer: If you stand up, you may come out of your ears. Chestnut explosion The woman held her husband's two eggs and asked what they were.The husband said: Chestnuts.The husband also refers to the wife and the female household, and asks what it is.Wife said: "Stove."Since you have chestnuts, why not put them in the furnace and simmer them for a while?The husband said: Yes.After a while, the woman let out a fart, and the son shouted beside him, "Daddy, the chestnuts are ripe, and they exploded in the furnace!" cramp The couple had dinner together, and the wife asked, "What are the benefits of leeks and garlic? Do you like to eat them?"The husband said: Eat it, it is like an iron rod.The wife couldn't stop eating, so the husband said: "What is the use of eating?"Wife said: I ate like an iron hoop. two boats When one person met two boats, he put his hand outside the window sill and pinched a finger.The complaint was made to his wife, who told him in amazement: "In the future, if you encounter two boats, don't forget to urinate." drunk sex One person is better than drunken sex, or abstain from it and say: Don't have sex when you are full, and the five internal organs will repeat. This medicine is also a stone language, how to violate it?The man said: "It doesn't matter."After doing it, do it again, and still turn around, just as if it has never been repeated. bad luck A woman commits adultery, and every time she marries a husband, she often has an affair, and the husband will be sent away immediately.Within three years, ten husbands in a row.People asked, "Why did you come here?"The woman said: If you are born with bad luck, you will be a tortoise if you marry. Neighbors look A woman told her husband: "My neighbor often sees me."The husband said, "Why do you pay attention to him?"The woman said: "I told you today, you don't care. Next time he takes a fancy to it, but it's none of my business." Swap loofah for leeks A wife ordered her husband to buy a loofah, and the husband waited outside the door. A seller of leeks came and persuaded him to buy it.The husband said: I want to buy loofah ears.The seller said: loofah impotent impotence, leeks rejuvenate the impotence, why don't you buy the impotent ones instead of buying the impotent ones?When the wife heard it, she called out loudly, "If you can't wait for the loofah to come, just buy leeks." back garden chives There is a meal with guests, and I even talk about the impotence of loofah, which is not as good as leeks for Xingyang.But the master couldn't drink, so he asked his son, who said, "Mother has gone to the garden."Q: Why?The answer was: pull out the loofah and grow leeks. Foot Amoy Husband and wife turned against each other and slept separately.In the middle of the night, the wife wanted to move but couldn't speak, so she touched her husband's feet and asked, "What kind of thing is this?"The husband said: feet.The wife said: "Since it is a foot, you can put it in the foot pan." Afraid of the cold Seeing the two dogs leading each other, the young girl asked her mother, "Why are these two dogs together?"Mother said: I think it's because I'm afraid of the cold.The woman shook her head and said: No, no.Mother said: How can you see otherwise?The woman said: It was very hot the day before yesterday, and you and your father were also like this. Could it be that they are all afraid of the cold? Steady boy Question: How to have a stable boy?The one who gave it said: If two eggs are included, there will be no failure to conceive.The night is as it said, if you accept the left, you will come out from the right, and if you accept the right, you will come back from the left.Resentment said: Then he gave birth to a son, which is also a strong species! Dirty The husband is married to Longyang, and the wife often vomits, saying that her body is full of feces and she is not allowed to get close.Until the night of the same night, the husband left to try it.The wife gets closer gradually, and after a long time, she thinks that she will make do with the fact that her mother's house is close to the sun.The husband said: "This thing is dirty, why is it so close?"The wife said: "It's because of the filth, I have to wash him with Yin water." pulp hard ｜The man's clothes are soft, so his wife's pulp is harder.It's good for the wife to use the milk, and when she pulls the husband's penis, she also uses the milk.The husband asked in horror, and replied: "The pulp is hard and easy to use." mouse counting money Husband and wife are lying together, the wife points to the penis and says: "What is this thing?"The answer: mice.The wife said: "Since it's a mouse, why don't you let him go into the nest."Then there was a sound of intercourse, and the son heard it nearby, and called his mother and asked, "Grandma, the mouse just entered the nest, how can you count the copper coins?" Neighbors ask The woman said to her husband: Is it better to take a tide bath in the foot basin, or to bathe in the foot basin?The husband said: Is it better to take the ear for the son of news, or better to hear the news?After the speech, cloud and rain.The neighbor asked: "The news fell into the foot basin, which is better?" avoid calling death The two couples were celebrating their new year, and the husband abstained from his wife on New Year's Eve, saying: "In the past, whenever we had intercourse, every time we went to a happy place, we would surely die."Tomorrow is the New Year, everyone should not say the word dead, but say I want to live.The wife ran it.And the next day, the wife was very happy, and she still called her as before.The husband blamed him for avoiding crimes, and the wife said: "It's okay."Such a way of dying, even if he dies for a whole year! Remarried There are those who remarry, have sex at the first night, and then don't feel it.Ask the husband: Do you want to go in?Said: "Go in."Then the woman frowns lamely and says, "So, I feel a little pain." fan corpse When the husband died, the wife fanned the corpse endlessly.The neighbor asked, "Why is it so cold?"The woman wiped her tears and replied: "My poor husband told me on his deathbed: If you want to marry, you must wait for my flesh to be cold." no no Two women lived opposite each other, and A asked B, "How many children have you had?"Yi said: "I haven't broken my body."A said: Isn't your uncle right?B shook his head and said: No, no. willing to kill Wives and concubines fight, and the husband really loves his concubine, so he scolds: "It's better to kill you, so as not to cry."The concubine enters the room with her back, and the husband rushes in with a knife.The wife thought that the fruit was killing, so she looked at it from the end, and saw that the two were in the cloud.The wife said angrily: "If this is the way to kill, why not kill me first!" heart here Some concubines enjoy themselves with their wives, and the wives say: "Here you are, your heart is at ease."The husband said: If so, how about treating my body where my heart is here? fair old man The wives and concubines are fighting for the wind, and the husband is tired of having sex, so he said: If I want that, just say I prefer it.Wait for me to lie on my back tonight and see your good fortune, whoever you want to use this thing for, then go and do things with him.According to the words, the wives and concubines each touched their penis and erected it like a mast on a whim.The husband laughed and said: "You two helped him up and became a fair and straight old man. If you don't want to ask private questions, I can't do anything." he is bigger than me A family takes a concubine, who is older than his wife.A prostitute greeted her and asked, "Which one is the eldest?"Concubine Yingyun: Big is his big, big is my big. True Punishment Curse One person wanted to go to his concubine's place, and falsely said: "I want to be a concubine, and I will come as soon as I go."If the wife refuses, the husband swears: If he becomes a dog.The wife tied the cable to his feet and let him go.The husband untied the rope, turned it on the dog's feet, and went to the concubine's room.Seeing that it had been a long time coming, the wife took the rope to the bed and started to stroke the dog's back. She was horrified: "This dead turtle, I thought I was lying to me, but it turned out that I was punished with a real curse." Waxer People have a wife and a concubine, and they recognize each other in the middle of the night.In the middle of the night, when I arrived at the wife's room, the wife jumped up and stepped on the husband's belly to do something. The husband asked: "Why?"Said: This is pouring candles.His concubine had eavesdropped on it outside the door.In the second half of the night, I slept with my concubine, having fun as much as I wanted, and the concubine was so happy that she lost her voice and said: "I will die!"My wife is also listening outside.The next morning, I measured rice to make rice, and my wife said: "Should I reduce the rice for one person today?"The concubine said: "Why?"Wife said: Last night a person died.The concubine also smiled and said: "In my opinion, we should add another talent today."The wife asked why, and replied: I heard that there is a master pouring candles here. Thank you daughter-in-law The old man picked up the ashes, and when the matter was over, he bowed to his daughter-in-law and said, "Thank you for your kindness."The daughter-in-law said: "Daddy is so polite. I thank you a lot in my own home." fault A man stole his daughter-in-law, but the daughter-in-law refused and sued Yu Gu.The aunt said: This old tortoise, like his grandfather, has this problem. take a visit One of them was a guest, and when he saw a fellow countryman, he asked, "Is my father at home?"The folks said: "It's good, it's good. The day before yesterday, I visited twelve old men who picked up ashes. The old man hid in the latrine and was almost scared to death." selling antiques One Weng Su sells antiques as a business, and repeatedly wants to sneak a peek at his daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law sues her mother-in-law.One day, the woman was lying on behalf of the daughter-in-law, and Weng went to touch it, but Ji Nai clamped it tightly to cover herself.Weng thought of his daughter-in-law, and praised her very much, thinking that she was far away from her mother-in-law.The woman scolded and said: "Smelly old thief, I don't know an old thing, and I sell antiques!" change bed A man wanted to steal his daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law and the aunt explained, and the aunt said: If you escape tonight, I will have a place for myself.But go to lie on the daughter-in-law's bed, and put out the fire and wait for it.Weng Guo arrived late at night, thinking of his daughter-in-law, and the clouds and rain were extremely happy.After that, the woman scolded and said: "You old killer, how can you be so happy to change a bed tonight!" lightning strike Those who are outsiders see people from their hometown and ask: What news is there in my hometown?Said: One day a thunderbolt killed more than ten people, all of whom were ashes.The man asked in surprise, "Is my father all right?"The answer was: Your father was spared, but your ancestors were within a few, and they died together. Stealing sister-in-law When an official arrives, all the elders will see him.The official ordered: "Whoever steals a daughter-in-law stands on the west side, and those who don't steal their daughter-in-law stand on the east side."Inside, an old man hurriedly walked to the west end, and suddenly ran to the east again.The official asked, "What do you mean?"The old man knelt down and said, "Where should I stand if I don't know who steals my brother-in-law without the master's order?" old married An old man wanted to marry, but his mother saw that his beard and hair were all white, and she refused to marry him.The old man bribed the matchmaker and said: "If he has something to do every night, if he fails overnight, he will be punished five times."Mom promised it.On the first night of the door-to-door, I worked hard once, and I couldn't move the next night.The mother pushed the old man down and blamed five boards, and the old man fell down on the ground.Mom asked why, and the old man laughed and said: I beg mom to put up the whole hundred, so that we can settle accounts together in the future. make head The old man had sex with the woman, and the woman was ashamed of her lenient, and squeezed her hands behind her buttocks.Weng also suffers from impotence, so he sticks two fingers to guide it.The woman said: "Old man, why are you making a fuss over there?"Weng said: "Old lady, it's better than you playing behind the scenes." break open sun The old man and the old woman are relatively exposed to the sun, the old woman is active, and the old man has sex, and the old man is wrong because of the cold weather.The woman said: "Please take off their things and dry them in the sun, or lift them up if they are hot."Weng said: Yes.Then he untied his trousers and faced the sun.Shaoqing woman said: "My heat is hot, come quickly."Weng said: "I have not yet."The woman said: Why is the heat and cold uneven in general sun exposure?Weng said: You are exposed to the sun, and I am exposed to the whole, how can I catch up? suddenly Those who have impotence suddenly lift up overnight, feel very happy in their hearts, and pick up their wife's abdomen, but they are still as impotent as before.Wife asked: why?The answer was: I want to sleep in the inner bed, and I will borrow your belly to pass by. make a wish The old man suffers from impotence, and occasionally sees sympathy with pigs and sheep, and he doesn't feel aroused.Returning at night to lie down with his wife, touching what he saw during the day, a malevolent event suddenly arises, and he rushes to have sex with his wife.Fearing that he would be abandoned halfway, he imitated the daytime shape and said: a pig and a sheep.The wife said: "Old thief prisoner, you can't come. How can you make such a big wish? Just make it if you can." on the road An old man tried his best to have intercourse, but his impotence could not enter.After dancing for a long time, I didn't feel my nose running, because I sighed and said, "I said why it's so dry. It turns out that I came out from the upper road." Can't bear it When the elderly marry a concubine, their belongings are already impotent, and because they are eager to raise a son, they tell their concubines when it is raining: "Please accept, please accept."The concubine said: You are clean, teach me what to suffer! rice grains Elderly people have sex and try hard to have sex.Fu Yun: It’s good to get another grain of rice.The old man was furious and said: If I deliberately leave a grain of rice, it will be my dumpling rice! Rijin An old man marries a concubine, and wants to make love with him, saying that there are some fields and houses in a certain place.The concubine said: "It's not on my mind."It has always been said that a rich family is worse than a penny. sneeze The old couple were having sex, the wife suddenly sneezed, the thing came out, and they were furious.The next morning, the neighbor's wife asked, "You old couple, why were you so discordant last night?"Answer: Don't mention it, the old thief has not changed well recently, and he can't even sneeze. grit your teeth There is a widowed aunt and daughter-in-law, and the aunt said: To be a widow, you need to grit your teeth and live.Not long after, the aunt and others were private, and the daughter-in-law had previously said that she was responsible.The aunt opened her mouth to show her daughter-in-law: "Look, I have to have teeth to bite." Tibetan New Year One person marries an old wife. When sitting on the bed, there are many wrinkles when they meet each other, because they ask: How old are you?The woman said: Forty-five six.The husband said: It says thirty-eight years old in the marriage certificate, but in my opinion it is not only forty-five or sixteen, but tell me the truth.Said: "It is actually fifty-four years old."The husband asked again and again, only the preface was correct.What's more, after going to bed, Xin Nai made a plan, saying: I want to get up and build a salt urn, or I will be eaten by mice.The woman said, "That's funny. I've lived to be sixty-eight years old, and I haven't heard of rats stealing salt." Xie Jinkou The couple are both elderly, and they have sex on New Year's Day, and they meet to speak auspicious words.The wife held her husband's penis and said: May you grow older and healthier from today onwards.The husband then touched his wife's pussy and said, "Thank you for your Chrysostom." earn your life The monk and the nun took shelter from the rain in the temple and slept together until late at night.The monk touched the nun's mother and asked, "What is this matter?"Ni said: "It's a coffin."The nun touched the monk's penis and asked, "What is this?"The monk said: "It's a dead monk."The nun said: In this case, I donated the coffin to him.The monk then threw the penis into the yin, pulled it out and jumped.The nun said: You said he was a dead monk, how could he move?The monk laughed and said, "He is fighting for his life inside." First marriage When a man seeks to marry a wife, he considers that the property is small, and he is afraid of being generous, so he must want to get a son.Or teach it: "On the first night, but show it with eggs, if you don't know it, you are a real girl."According to his words, he told the matchmaker that if there was any flaw, he would send it back immediately.The media said: Yes.And marry a woman, go to bed to explain things and ask her, the woman is right with her eggs.He was furious, knowing that he was not a virgin, so he sent him.Married another woman, asked the same as before, the woman said: dick?The man said in amazement: "I already know the symbol of this thing, and it's not true at all."Send it again.In the end, if you marry someone who is younger than one year, you will still try as before, and you will answer: I don't know.The man was overjoyed, thinking that there was no doubt about the real virgin, because he grasped the object and instructed, "This is called an egg."The woman shook her head and said: No.I have seen many of them, and I don't believe there are such delicate eggs in the world. chant things The two couples are a little proficient in writing and ink, and they live in harmony all their lives.In the twilight years, the energy is exhausted, and you can't move freely, but you are hurt by things, and each chant a word to express your ambition.The wife first chanted about her female household and said: "Red flames, black flames, as tender as steamed buns unraveling a thread."Ever since I married into your family, day and night, now it's like a broken door, one piece to the east, one piece to the west.The husband also chanted the handle of the stag and said: "It's smooth, it's bare, it's as hard as a sandalwood plaque to pick beans."Since I married you and came in, I have been together in the morning and in the evening. Now it is like a cotton sleeve, which grows when pulled, and does not wrinkle.