Chapter 7 natural law

May 31, 1954 My name is Carlson.Marvin, who runs a small detective agency in Memphis, Tennessee.I'm late in the story because of the nature of the business, I'm late in every story, in fact, usually last.Everyone will look for me at the end, and ask me at the end: Can you help me?Although I say almost every time: yes.In fact, backfire is the norm. Most of these tragic events entrusted to me by the client will not have any happy ending, so I think that the help I can provide is not like the light that shines on someone's dark life.Let me put it this way, my job is actually about love, but most people don't understand it.In these cases, either someone chose the wrong object of love, or someone cast their hopes and dreams on the wrong object.Sometimes cases are about lust, and that's okay.Unfortunately, these can all have negative consequences.

This is the sad part of my line of work, and I have to say that only love can take us to the darkest places in life. In some cases, like this one, I'm commissioned to find a missing person who may be lost, dead, or misplaced in time and space.I love this type of case, it's more about love than others, and what could be better than knowing someone is looking for you?What could be better than being found? Well, there is. This is my second visit to Jeremiah.Musgrove Chinese Circus.The Korean War is coming to an end, the atomic bomb is being tested in Nevada, and I'm walking towards a sideshow.I was hired to find Henry.Walker, found a month ago.Usually that would close the case without making a second trip, but this one was so complicated that I came back, came to him again, and had something to tell him.

The first person to talk to me was Jeremiah.Musgrove himself, with his beard and honest, honest face, seemed to eat well.And, before I handed over my business card, seemed happy to see me. He looked at his business card, then at me, and said: Private detective? I said: Yes, sir, there is nothing wrong. He nodded, studied the card, and suppressed a laugh. What's so funny?Mr Musgrove. He said: Oh, no, I just don't think you look like a private detective in my impression. I straightened my tie and pretended to be experiencing this reaction for the first time.What do you think a private investigator should look like?He rocked back and forth in his chair, thinking for a moment.You know, one of those big tough guys who talk grumpy, categorically contradict others, smell of alcohol, unshaven, in a bad mood, with a frustrated look on their face.A bit like

Humphrey in "The Maltese Falcon"Bogart (Annotation: Humphrey Bogart, 1899︱1957. American actor. In the movie "The Malrese Falcon" The Malrese Falcon, 1941, he played the leading role of private detective Sam Spade). He nodded and said: Yes, that's him. I sighed and said: That's a movie, Mr. Musgrove. I know. This is not a movie.I said. I know that too. His manner implied that I didn't need to point this out, that he knew as well as anyone else what was true and what was not.What's more, he is engaged in the fictional industry, so of course he can tell the truth from the fake.However, he was as fooled by the movie as anyone else.

I am not Humphrey.Bogart, I have a petite frame and a boyish build rather than a man of forty-two.The strong wind can't blow me down, it can only make me take a few steps backwards. If I walk sideways, it will be fine.I haven't measured it, but I know that my head is small, and my face is small, and it has everything that should be on the face, but it is also very small.My eyes, nose, and mouth are all small, but they still have to be arranged neatly to fit.I shave and take a shower regularly. I take a shower twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening.I have three cats: Harvey, Jo, and Lou. When I go out, I entrust my neighbor Mrs. Lefcote. She not only takes good care of my cats, but also brings in my letters for me.

So I'm pretty disappointed that a lot of people have wrong expectations of me. Believe it or not, I also have a strong side, and even occasionally categorically contradict what others say. I can be that kind of person too.I wear that mask when I have to, because it's easier to conform to what other people think of you than it is to ask them to see who you are. Very well, let me explain why I'm here. Are you writing a book?If so, let me tell you first, the twin-headed conjoined twins are a hoax. Mr. Musgrove, I am for Henry.It's about Walker. Mr. Musgrove put aside his affectation at once, and became earnest, looking at me with sad eyes. "Have you found him?"

he's not here? No, disappeared last week, no one knows where he went. no one knows?I took out my notebook and turned to a blank page.Does he have no friends here?Is there anyone he chatted with? I am his friend.He said coldly: He will chat with me. But he didn't mention any plans to you?He didn't tell you that he was going to leave, where he might go or something? No, he never said that, that's why I'm worried, since he didn't tell me Is it possible that he will tell others?Does he have other friends? Although Mr. Musgrove was reluctant to admit it, he said: Yes.

So I went to find Rudy the strongest man in the world. I approach the trailer for World Strongman, and the smell of bourbon hits me.I knocked on the door friendly, in exchange for a low growl: go away. I waited for a heartbeat, then knocked on the door again.He said: "I say it again, go away. I thought about it, not sure how strong he was, but if he was only half as strong as he sounded, he could snap me in half like fresh celery.I decided to lie.I brought a friend, Jack.Do you remember the name Daniel? No impression, there are elephants, go away. Rudy, I need to ask you a few questions about Henry.Walker's man, they say you were his friend.

Now he fell silent and stopped telling me to go away. I heard his clumsy footsteps walking towards the door, opened the door, and stretched out his head. It was a big square bald head.I couldn't help but sympathize with his mother, it must have been very hard during childbirth. used to be?He said: What do you mean once? Nothing special.I said: what do you think I mean? He thought for a while and said: It means that he is dead, killed by those hooligans. Tell me about them. He said: "There were three of them, three little rascals. Would you mind letting me in so we can talk? Well he looked back inside.Very messy.

I said: It doesn't matter. He said: You are not a policeman.I've had people look at me that way all day. Yes, I am not.Thank you for noticing this. He gave me another look, then turned and went in, and I thought it was an invitation, so I tiptoed in. His residence is not chaotic, it should be said that only an artist can achieve order in chaos.My mother has a good saying, she describes this kind of place: everything is there, and it's all in the right place.I grew up in this environment.It's just that things aren't where they should be, there's a plastic coffee cup on his pillow, and the pillow is on the floor.Evidence showed he ate in bed, with an open refrigerator the only source of light.I felt as if I had stepped into an advanced prehistoric human cave.

I sat down on what looked like a chair.Tell me about those hooligans. Tell me first, why are you looking for Henry? I said: Someone paid me to find him. real? real. who? his family. He said: Then you must be lying. Why? He found the wine bottle, grabbed it with his big hand, and stuffed it into his mouth.He drank directly from the bottle and drank it all in one gulp. He said: Because he had no family, the whole family died. I said: not dead. He gave me a look, I've seen that look before, it was a prelude to violence, but sometimes a look is just a look, I hope this is it.He said: You are trying to confuse me, I hate it when people treat me like this. Let me explain to you.My name is Carlson.Marvin, is a private eye.You know Henry .Does Walker have a sister? Of course I know, Henry told me all about her, and she's dead, terribly dead, long ago. I said: The last time I saw her, she was alive and well. What do you mean by that? I was hired to work for her, Hannah.Walker is still alive. For the next few minutes Rudy had that vacant expression usually on the face of a dead man.I've seen dead bodies, um, there's only one, and that's an old lady, crossing the road in a well-behaved manner, according to the signal, and didn't see any cars passing by.His eyes were just like hers, looking blankly into the distance, as if trying to remember something he could never remember, and the truth caused a rift deep in his heart. He looked up, looked at me with eyes too small to see under those Cro-Magnon brows, and said: Let Jenny know. No problem, I want to talk to everyone. Jeremiah should know too, and JJ, everyone should listen together, unless you think there are too many people, sir. I promise not. He gave me a hard look and said: Well, please come with me. I follow him.After years of practice, he can pass the trailer door sideways with ease.He turned left and strode along the trailer toward a small tent.If I recall correctly, that's where Spider-Woman performed, but she's not there now. Go in and wait for me, I'll be right back. I obeyed and did as I was told.It only took him four and a half minutes to come back with something in his arms.I thought it was a fossilized piece of wood, and then I found out that it had a head, feet, and the part between the head and the feet, but it was wrapped in a blanket, so I couldn't see it, and I didn't particularly want to see it.Its only moving parts are eyes and mouth.Whatever it was, what I saw was a living thing, a woman. Rudy said: This is Mr. Maveney. If he sees me, he will be stunned. Hey. Rudy said: This is Jenny, she is very close to Henry. Nice to meet you.I instinctively reached out to shake her hand. Feel sorry.I don't shake hands for fear of germs.After she finished speaking, she smiled. A minute or two later, Jeremiah and JJ pushed open the tent and came in. I recognized Jeremiah, and he nodded to me. JJ scowled. Hello.I said.But no one responded politely. Rudy said: Come on, we're all waiting to hear. So I said it.Because I can see that under their weird shells, they all have a caring heart.There is a pair of Henry in the tent.Walker is full of love, and I can't resist people who can love people like this. They are as rare and beautiful as ivory-billed woodpeckers. So, I started telling stories. I don't quite remember exactly when she called. At that time, I had just completed the previous case and hadn't received the second case.I'm often in this situation, spending the morning doing crossword puzzles, tidying up the office, and waiting for the phone to ring.But every time the phone rang my heart almost stopped because it was so unexpected.I've tried to be the hopeful kind of person, but my office just doesn't work.It is in a dark corner at the back of the three-story red brick house. To get up, you have to take a creaky old elevator operated by a blind attendant.That's the only place I can afford to rent, it's dark, it's depressing, I've often thought I should get out more before the sun goes down, but I never do. I keep the radio on all day to keep up with current events.The execution of the Rosenbergs, the inauguration of Eisenhower, the death of nearly two thousand in the North Sea flood, I heard on the radio. Anyway, she called, I got it, and she commissioned me to do what I did.She has a sweet voice, and I rather like the way her words ring in my ears. I said: what do I do?I am a detective, does this need to be explained?I should put it mildly, but I'm hitting a low point and very upset. Are you a private eye? Yes. Because of this I want to keep it a secret.she says. From whom? I really want her to keep talking, her voice is getting sweeter and more singing, a voice that has the power to make people feel happy.I couldn't hear the accent in her voice, and she covered the microphone.My years of experience tell me that she must be hiding alone in the kitchen on the phone. The phone line is too far and too tight, and it is about to break.She said: That's not important. I have already guessed what kind of case this is.Needless to say, I also know that it is the husband's problem, right?You want to keep it from him because he's keeping something from you and you want to know what it is.For example, where he actually went when he said he went bowling. She laughed.No, not like that. Did he say that? listen to me.She kept her voice low, worse than a whisper, and the small voice came to me through the telephone line through her breath, and I had to work hard to hear it.Maybe we should talk face to face. OK, my office is on Third Street, and I can visit you anywhere within walking distance. how far can you go not too far. I wish you could come here.I have a baby, and it would be best if I could stay home.Do you think you can come over?I live in Concord Hills. I said yes. Concord Hills is a high-end residential area in Memphis, with simple castle-style houses within a six-mile radius.If you want to buy a house here, you not only need a lot of money, but also a license issued by God. Only the best people can live here. The small crimes committed by people in a neighborhood can make a lot of money to live on.No matter what she said, I thought I knew why I was here. But I was wrong. She is now Hannah.Mrs Callaghan, no longer Walker.She was the kind of woman I thought I must have met but didn't recognize.like Hannah.Callahan is a woman I don't meet, only on the covers of magazines.Not only will she block traffic on the road, she can even stop a train.Blonde hair, silky skin, and an hourglass figure.I stared blankly at her for a minute, and she waited until she was finished before asking me to go in. She peeked out.You didn't park your car on the street, did you? It didn't stop anywhere, I came by bus. Is there a bus here?I do not even know. I pretended I wasn't driving because I was following her instructions, when my car couldn't have gone that far.She didn't want anyone to know that I was coming, and I said I understand.My role in the play, though indispensable, was also unpleasant.Private investigators deal with privacy, which of course means secrets, and sometimes, that means having an ulterior dark side.But this does not affect my self-evaluation. Would you like something to drink? Just drink water. Sit down and I'll get it. She was so beautiful and I watched her go away feeling like I was looking at something I shouldn't be looking at. The armchair I was sitting in was purple, and the thick fabric was nothing like a natural material. It reminded me of a room full of yellow people operating sewing machines.The sofa is the size of an ordinary American car seat, and it is very large. They must have a sofa first, and then build a house around it. Otherwise, how can such a big sofa get in the door?There is a chandelier directly above the living room, a picture on the wall of a dog with a rabbit in its mouth, and real books on the shelves.If these people worry about money, they must worry about how to spend it. I heard a baby crying from a room upstairs. She came back with a small tray with a jug, a glass and a small bowl of ice cubes on it.There was a pair of small silver tongs in the ice bowl, and she used the silver tongs to gracefully pick three cubes of ice from the bowl into the glass, and then poured water. She said: I didn't expect you to be like this. It's normal, everyone guessed wrong. I thought you'd be like I don't know, like Humphrey.Bogart? I can understand. She blushed.I guess I was influenced by the movie. yes.With that said, I took out my notepad and pencil. I secretly bet myself that no matter what she said on the phone, this case must still be related to my husband stealing food, and I lost in the end. She said: "I would like to ask your help to find out the whereabouts of my brother. I wrote down the word "brother" and said: good. good? I mean, yes, of course, I'll find your brother. She took a sip of the Coke in her glass and said: This is not so easy. No matter how easy it is, I will find him. How can you be so confident? If I say I can't find it, will you still invite me? she laughed.Makes sense. But there are some things you have to tell me first. OK, like? Like what's his name, what he looks like, when was the last time you saw him, where do you think he might be right now, etc.Tell me all the basic information first. The baby upstairs was crying all the time, not the kind of crying that taught people to clot, nor was it crying sadly, but it seemed that he was not feeling well, so he continued to whimper. he's fine.Hannah.Callahan looked at me and said: It's nap time.Deborah is off today. Deborah? nanny. Oh, no wonder, I wondered where the nanny was.I've actually never been in a house with a nanny at all, that's another social class. I said: Well, let's start here and see what we can think of from here. She looked away.Too bad I don't know much about it. what did you say? I can't answer these questions.I mean, if I could, I would, but no, I don't know. Things get more complicated the longer you stay in one place.I sighed and said, well, but these are the easiest questions I can think of, and I was going to start there and move on to the more complex parts like personal likes and dislikes, favorite colors, vacation locations, etc.I looked at her and asked: What can you tell me? I'm so sorry, Mr. Maveney, but I'll tell you all I know. Thanks. She took a sip of the Coke, put it aside, and watched the drops of water slide down the side of the glass. In fact, we grew apart and I haven't seen him since I was nine.I can tell you what he looked like then, but I don't think it's useful now. I said I'm afraid it's really useless. She said with a smile: I remember his appearance very clearly. He has a long and pointed nose, black hair, a tall man, and a dark skin. He is very handsome. He has been handsome since he was a child, and I think he must be now.Like father, like son. your father? Passed away, I haven't seen him for a long, long time, but I think he must have passed away.You know, at that time, the Great Depression, people had to make difficult choices in order to survive. When I was nine years old, I was selling newspapers at the subway station. When my dad got off the bus, I followed my mom’s instructions to take him home drunk, lest he trade what was left in his pocket for his so-called medicine.I wanted to share this little story with Hannah.Callahan shared, but thought it might be better not to. She said: His name is Henry.walker. Henry.Walker?I think I've heard the name before, but it's vague. He's a magician, at least he used to be.It was famous for a while after the war. Yes, I remembered.I jotted down the information, picked up the glass and glanced at her.Did you know that celebrities are not hard to find. I know, but I wasn't ready for about eight years then.I'm not ready to go to him yet.Now I am ready. Now he is not a celebrity. She glanced at me and nodded.He seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth. That was really amazing magic.Did it ever occur to you that he might be dead? I thought about it. Then? I don't want to believe it. I know.So what if I find out he's really dead? Then I'll believe it, of course. He may have changed his name. I can imagine a lot of things changing.There was a sad look on her face.She is well suited to being sad, and that makes her look even more beautiful. That's all I can tell you, Mr. Maveney, do you think you can find him? sure.I got up and shook her hand.Are you sure that's all you can think of and nothing else? She said: I'm sure. I knew at the time that she was lying, but I didn't know how big the lie was. Long story short, I found him anyway, and it wasn't that long ago. My success rate in handling cases is 50%. When I succeed, clients often ask me how I did it. My answers are usually the same: this matter is not difficult, nor is it easy. It is my duty to do things well. But this time it's really pretty easy. Some people do multiple jobs throughout their lives. An insurance salesman in Ohio can go to Minnesota to be a salesman, and a salesman in California can also go to New Hampshire to sell cars.But if a person becomes a magician at the age of ten, he will be a magician all his life. I think, like Henry.For a person like Walker, choosing a job will not deviate from his essence. The first stop I went to was a little agency called the US Touring Vaudeville Office.The little business was on a side street on the south side of Memphis, between DeCoster's Pawn Shop and Carol's Beauty Salon.I didn't knock on the door, just walked in.The linoleum carpet in the room was frayed and torn, the fluorescent lamps flickered on the ceiling, and dust was flying where the sunlight that leaked through the shutters shone.Apart from a certificate issued by an unknown university, there is nothing else hanging on the wall.There's a desk by the wall, Howards.Behrman sat at the table, alone in the company.He wore a decent suit, pocket watch, and bow tie, and instead of a mustache, he had what looked like eyebrows growing above his lips. He took my business card and looked at it, then leaned on the chair and stared at me for a while, weighing my weight.If you're here to uncover the dark side of the sideshow world, take your time, because I can tell you a lot.For example I think you must have a lot of stories to tell, but I'm not here today for that.I'm looking for someone and I hope you can help.Do you have employee profiles of vaudeville troupes or circuses from the past to the present? He said: Of course, I keep all the information here. I try my best to collect it. This industry is very fluid, but I have kept detailed information. Of course, it is all related to juggling.You won't find anyone who knows the situation better than I do. Why? Because I'm obsessed with that world, and with all the oddities in it. I see. So what do you want me to do for you? There was a magician named Henry.Walker, have you heard? There was a satisfied light on his face. This person liked to appear smarter than others, and he was the kind of guy who was easy to be annoying because of his love for showing off.Of course I have. I said: I have heard it too, but just remembering this person is useless. I want to know where I can find him now. He said: Then I can't help you. I thought you knew everything. I know everything that people know, but no one knows this.He took the pipe from the little gold stand, loaded it, tapped it, lit it, and breathed in my direction.He did one show after the war, just one, but it's still remembered.I think you've probably heard that he brought a woman back from the dead. I said: The person who is looking for him now is also a woman, his sister. He smoked his pipe and said: Well, I wish I could be of help, but I can't, sorry. The difference between a good detective and a not-so-good one is the second question, which is usually a bit like the first but not quite like the first, asking the same thing but eliciting different answers. I ask: You mean, as far as you know, there is no one in the sideshow world or the circus named Henry.The name Walker? I didn't say that.He felt something in his nose and picked it carefully.There was indeed a man named Henry.Walker's, also happens to be the magician, in Jeremiah.Working in the Musgrove Chinese Circus.You want to ask me how I know?I have like-minded friends all over the country who send me newspaper clippings and classifieds and things like that.And this Henry.Walker stuck with me because the name was so famous. but you didn't say Yes, but this Henry.Walker is not him. How do you know? He knew more than me, and he was very proud of it, so he deliberately paused before saying: because he is black.He is black, Henry.Walker is white. I am confused.You mean there's a black magician who just happens to have the same name as another magician who's white?This is ridiculous. You think it’s ridiculous because you don’t understand this circle. There are many magicians in the magic world who still use the names of their predecessors, such as Houdini. 1805︱1871. French magician, known as the father of modern magic.) came.Of course, Houdini is a master of magic, but this guy, this black man, is so far behind his predecessor of the same name, and he didn't change a single sound, just copied it, if you ask me what I think, I I must say he has no imagination. I was just going to ask you if this shows that he lacks a bit of imagination. yes. He rummaged through the file cabinet, found a document, picked it up and waved it triumphantly, looked at it and said: Yes, the boss said that the Chinese circus is in Tennessee and will stay for three weeks.This was reported a few weeks ago and I think they have now left and moved south. I nodded and stood up and said: Thank you, thank you very much, you have been very helpful. I was here for the first time a month ago, when the last family audience was leaving and the circus was closing.There was a woman, Yolanda I guess, who kindly told me that Henry was hanging out with everybody in a bar somewhere. Who are you? She said: You will know when you go. It turned out that it was an unnamed bar on Unnamed Road, dedicated to these circus employees who no one wanted to talk to.To put it bluntly, it is just a simple shack in the forest, the only signs are two lights protruding from the pine forest and two abandoned cars abandoned in the ditch beside the path.The yellow lights are like the eyes of a mad dog. I walked in and it felt like I was walking into the Elks Club (I'm an Elks Club member) in the middle of a meeting, but there were some key differences.The bartender here is Miss Alligator, serving one-legged shorts, two-legged bigs, and dorks in hats.The guests sitting scattered in the room seemed to come from dark caves and unknown valleys, and each one was more strange than the other. As soon as I walked in, everyone turned their heads to look at me, and then turned back to continue drinking beer without paying attention.I don't know how to feel about it. Then I saw Henry.walker.He sat alone at the table in the corner, with a black face hidden in the shadows, and I knew it was him as soon as I saw it. I ordered two beers to Miss Alligator and walked over to him. I put the beer on the table and said, "Good night, Mr. Walker, may I sit here for a while?" He looks at the beer and shrugs.Of course, just sit down for a few minutes. He kicked away a chair by the table and let me sit down, showing a look of indifference, without looking at me.I said: This drink is for you. drinks?He smiled and said: You actually use such a word, who are you? mavini.My name is Carlson.Marvin, is a private eye. oh.He had an expression as if he knew I would come, he drank his glass of beer in one go, and then stared at me. I don't particularly like beer. He said: Me too.Then I drank my cup, sighed, and looked into the distance with empty eyes.I understand that kind of look. He is recalling the past, thinking about what he has done, where he turned left and where he turned right, which led to him coming here instead of there today.I could see he couldn't figure it out, and he never figured it out, and even if he knew what happened, he still didn't understand why.In my opinion, humans create gods because they don't understand why.But I have a feeling, Henry.Walker's god hasn't been made yet. Are you going to arrest me now, or will you give me time to say goodbye?I want to say goodbye to my friend. arrest you? He ignored what I said and smiled to himself.do you know?For so long I didn't know. Do not know what is this? Not knowing if I wanted to get caught, not knowing if what I was doing was right or wrong, it was right for me, I had to do it, but it didn't feel the way I thought it would.It is regulated, right?Being part of a civilized world means following certain norms. i think so, but The question is, what if you're not part of it? I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you're talking about, Mr. Walker, I'm here to Please, don't play dumb, you don't fit.I'm talking about the man I killed, Mr. Sabaschin. This time my face stuttered.When I can't make any expressions and can only be dumbfounded, my face will stutter.After a long time, how to pull out another thing, I don't know what he is talking about, but it seems that we should follow the trend, which is very important for detectives.I said: Of course, Mr. Sabaschin. Henry was lost in thought, facing each random memory that flitted through his mind.I see that kind of expression a lot. Sometimes you can tell that the other person is not listening to you, and his attention is on another matter, which is only in his heart, and cannot be seen by others, and has nothing to do with others.Henry.Walker is like this now, people are absent. Mr. Maveney, you must be very good at your job. Well, do your best. He shook his head and said: It's not easy to connect me with that murder and find me here again.You must know a lot about me. I nod.Yes know something.I said: For example, I know you are not that or something? Black person?I think you mean this? Yes. "It's no longer a secret," he said.I'm too careless, and often there are places where I don't apply it. If you look closely, you will find that it is just shoe polish.But no one looked at me seriously. As a black person, especially in a place like Alabama, people don't bother to look at you, and of course they won't find out that it's a disguise.The darker I got, the less I was seen.He smiled.But you saw me. I took out the note pad and pencil, and turned the book to the place I hadn't written yet.Maybe you can tell me how this all happened?I have to take notes to report to my superiors.I don't know how things will turn out, but I want to write down everything I can, so that I can have a clue to get back to the beginning. He said: With all my pleasure, Mr. Maveney, I'll start at the beginning. It could not be better. He paused, took a deep breath, and adjusted his sitting position.The whole story, in a nutshell, is this: I had a younger sister named Hannah, and our mother died and our father was devastated.He got a job as a handyman at the big hotel, which was a great place, with marble floors and high ceilings and a big house. I said: I understand. Hannah and I had a lot of time on our hands, exploring and meeting some guests, and most of them were nice people, but one of them was Mr. Sabaschin, who was very strange, and everything about him was strange.His skin was flawed, almost pure white, as if he had never been in the sun in his life.I was terrified at first, but he was a magician, which appealed to me.It was from him that I learned that's where I started learning magic, and I did everything he said, even swore. swear? To become a magician, you have to swear not to tell anyone who you learned from. I have kept this oath for a long time. He had been looking into my eyes since the story began, and then he looked away suddenly, and I thought it must be very important to him.I said: what happened later? Henry said: He is skilled, I have talent, I learn new skills every day, my mind is all on it, ignoring my father, ignoring my life. Then something went wrong. how do you know? Always like this. I looked down at the coins rolling between his fingers, as if the fingers were merely making way for the coins, not manipulating them.He said: I played him, Sabaschin played me, all because he was after my sister. That kind of person.I said. No.Henry caught me with his eyes.He's not human at all, he's a devil. devil? He is the devil himself.He took her away.One day, they just disappeared.The police came and said they tried hard to find her or something, but she was just a coworker's daughter, how hard were they going to find a coworker's daughter?And I can't tell them what I know. Because I swore.I said. Henry said: He mixed his blood with mine and from now on I always have him in me. I said: You're just a kid, you scared him.It doesn't help that I say that, and my gut tells me that nothing will change how he feels. I've been looking for them all my life.He shook his head.It's not like the police looking for a way. I make it a part of my life, and I take it as my vocation.Mister Maveney, I traveled the world looking for them, I toured the country for work, went to France and Italy in World War II, I didn't care who won, just thought maybe I'd find them there, maybe in See banners bearing his name on the battlefield, maybe I'll see one that says the amazing Mr. Sabaschin!Who knows, anything could happen.After returning to China, I put on thousands of aliases, turned into thousands of different people, performed in various venues, went everywhere, and couldn’t find them. I will never stop.I asked people about him, described what he looked like, his face, his skin. Then? I can never find Hannah again because she is dead.She died a long time ago, maybe a week after he took her, so I'll never find her, but I found him. Then what? He smiled and waved to Miss Crocodile for another beer.What happens next you know. Henry.Walker is one of those people who is indispensable in the world. We can see him and say to ourselves: Even if I get here, even if life is so hard, and it will never get better, at least I am not Henry.walker.If it's a rather flimsy assumption that all people are created equal and have the same integers, then what Henry has been doing all his life is constant subtraction.What hadn't been taken of all his possessions?He was like a small puddle under the sun, getting smaller day by day, and finally there was almost nothing left.His only gift was the ability to perform magic tricks, which came from the devil, or at least he thought that was the devil.但就連那也該算交易，薩巴斯欽給了他魔術，卻將他的摯愛帶走。因此，亨利必須殺他，這不是他的決定，而是他不得不面對的，人生的現實。 從這個角度看去，我想他很幸運，人生有個目標。 他告訴我，有一度他曾是很好的魔術師，可說是頂尖大師之一。但在瑪莉安娜．花兒和艾德嘉．卡斯坦包姆出事之後，在他最後一次為真實生活努力並失敗之後，我找不到任何有關他的紀錄。沒有新聞報導，也沒有口耳相傳。問題在於，他搞不清楚自己是誰或是個什麼東西，是黑人？還是白人？既然難以抉擇，就只好兩個都當。他變魔術的本領確實高強，能在同一場合以黑白兩種形貌各表演一次，而且內容完全不同。以白人魔術師出現時，模擬早期大師瑟斯頓、凱勒和羅貝爾烏丹的風範，白亨利認真看待魔術表演，也希望觀眾對他的表演認真看待。但黑亨利的演出就完全是場扮裝秀，他很會裝傻，把一張黑臉上的兩個大白眼珠子瞪得像乒乓球似的，一副連自己都給自己的表演嚇到了的樣子。黑亨利自稱笨惡魔克列仁斯，白亨利則自稱百變魔術師愛德華．毛比爵士，還戴假鬍子作為偽裝，其實大可不必。亨利只以本來面目上過一次台，作過一場表演，讓瑪莉安娜．花兒死而復生。從此他將自己一分為二，度過四○年代晚期，那段日子他稱之為失落歲月。直到殺死薩巴斯欽之後，他才回復本名，來到這最後一站。 克列仁斯與愛德華爵士在全美巡迴演出，同時尋人。他對他要找的那名魔術師所知甚淺，就連叫什麼名字也不確定，他所記得的只有那人的長相，身材瘦小，臉白得像用粉筆畫的，那張臉只要見過一次，你就忘不了，而亨利天天得見，那張臉天天在他眼前懸著，有如他塑造出的幻影。遇見同行的時候，他會問起，有沒有聽過那人，他有沒有在這裡表演過，有沒有人知道上哪兒可以找到他。亨利提到他的時候是這麼說的：他是我師父，失蹤了，我想再見他，為他所做的一切向他致謝。 可是沒人認得那人，連聽都沒聽過。 除了一個之外。 這人並非魔術師，而是幫巴納姆運摩天輪的卡車司機。他跟亨利說，他有一次開高速公路，下休息站去喝咖啡吃飯，那邊的咖啡比加油站好些。就在他找到位子正要擠過去坐下的時候，瞥見不遠處有個男人正在變魔術給一個小女孩看，看來他人很好。那女孩跟媽媽在一起，兩人都看得津津有味，直到那媽媽看看錶說該走了為止。他之所以記得這事，是因為那人的臉，他從沒見過那麼白的臉，比麵粉還白，彷彿他的臉已經死了，其他部分卻還活著，會走會動，活生生的。那很嚇人，可是當地人好像都習以為常，不覺得他怪，所以卡車司機猜想他八成住在附近。 亨利問：那是哪裡？ 卡車司機想了想，想清楚了才說：印第安那，應該是印第安那州的曼西鎮。 說完又補了一句：那人看起來人真好。 有一大群人等著要看亨利表演，但他並不在場。他當時原本要以笨惡魔克列仁斯，還是百變魔術師愛德華．毛比爵士的面貌上場？他不記得，也不重要了，因為他再也不會以這兩個身分出現。反正他最後幾場演出也是一塌糊塗，原本優雅的毛比表演到一半忽然變成了眼珠爆凸的傻蛋，平日擅長糟蹋自己娛樂大眾的克列仁斯忽然變得博學而沉鬱起來。對此亨利比觀眾更困惑，他不知道自己怎麼了，現在他塑造出來的角色似乎比他更像他自己，如果說世上還有一點點亨利．沃克存在，就擠在那兩個角色逐漸縮小的差距之中，但他至少還有能力拋棄那兩個角色，因此，他既沒打包行李，也沒留下隻字片語，就開車上了夜路，前往印第安那州的曼西鎮。他所做的，就跟薩巴斯欽多年前一樣：消失。這是他最後一個戲法，也是最棒的一個。 要去印第安那的曼西鎮，得開十四個小時，汽油每加侖三十分錢，他口袋裡有十二塊和一點零錢，加完油、買了咖啡和三明治之後還能剩一點。但他不餓，只想一直往前開，彷彿看見那城鎮就在無盡的前方等著。一開始街道和房子小到看不見，然後他越往前進越能看得清楚，他身體裡面每一個分子都在努力向前。開始下雨了，天昏地暗，雨滴有五毛錢銅板那麼大，密集而持續，而他在暴雨中仍然看得見那座城鎮，看得見鎮上薩巴斯欽所住的那棟房子，白色房子，有黑色百葉窗，跟附近其他房子沒有兩樣，只在屋子旁邊多了棵木蘭花。屋前有漂亮的草坪，突出的多角窗下還有一排開得十分燦爛的杜鵑。混凝土人行道兩旁長著猴子草，盡頭轉為漂亮的紅磚道，在你和大門之間隔著一道紗門，黃銅門環與眼同高，下方二分之一處有投信口。亨利相信等在前方的就是這個，他已經超越了自己，人在離目標實現如此之近的時候很容易這樣，誰會讓時空這種小事擋在你和宿命之間？ 那雨是不會停的。雙線道柏油路在雨中一片模糊，路旁的煞車燈看起來像猛獸的眼睛。但只有膽小的旅人才會害怕開進暴雨之中，亨利可不怕，他繼續向前，也許在途中閉上了眼睛。他走進門，先進客廳，再進廚房，各處明亮的擺設都符合美國人的理想家庭形象，像廣告圖片一樣，乾淨整齊又正常，素雅舒適。這是敵人設下的偽裝，外表體面，後院裡卻埋著十二個遭砍死的女孩屍體。陽光普照的下午，薩巴斯欽先生會在大陽傘下開茶會，想著十四吋土下的死者，微笑待客。因罪而生的愉悅滿溢於心，他為自己感到驕傲，全都是他幹的，完全不假他人之手。 亨利在黎明時分的黑暗之中開車前行，這些景象在眼中栩栩如生。 他抵達曼西的時候，整個天空的雨都已下光。陽光蒸出來的水氣在街道上徘徊，有如孤魂野鬼一般。曼西是個甜美的小鎮，非常適合躲藏，可是亨利終究找到他，要見到他了。某人曾說：原本也許不存在的東西，你一旦看見，它就存在了。這是魔術師的信條。 今天，薩巴斯欽先生將被看見。 亨利不需問路，也不看路標，他先左轉，再右轉，然後再左轉一次，就到了他家門口，彷彿別家他都找過，這裡是最後一家似的，經過郵筒亨利看也不看上面寫什麼，因為他不用看也知道，這裡是七○二號。 他沒敲門，就這麼大步走了進去，一副受邀前來的樣子。 薩巴斯欽先生就在那裡，同一個人，同一張臉，同一副微笑，同一張椅子。怎麼會連椅子都是同一張？亨利不知道為什麼，但就是這樣，一切如同往常，亨利一時之間甚至變回了當年那個小男孩，那個初次遇見惡魔的男孩。那惡魔與從前唯一不同的是穿著，今天他沒穿西裝，改穿白色針織棉衫，藍色寬鬆長褲和休閒鞋，換了造型。 他說：哈囉，亨利。 亨利不吭聲，只盯著他看，手指輕輕撫觸口袋裡的刀，動作小到難以察覺。但這逃不過薩巴斯欽先生的眼睛，他癟起嘴，褪去笑容，浮現出失望的表情，雖然他對即將發生的事早就心裡有數，可總還帶幾分僥倖，現在他確定了。 他說：亨利，我很遺憾，我希望你能知道這點。他目光飄渺，彷彿在回顧過去發生的每一件事情。雖然即使重新來過，我也不會改變作為，但讓你傷心我覺得很抱歉。 說到這裡，薩巴斯欽先生停頓了一下，讓亨利有機會回應，可是亨利什麼話也沒說。那麼你想知道漢娜發生了什麼事嗎？ 這他就說話了，他說：不想。 我很樂意告訴你，故事並不長。 Need not. All right.他聳聳肩膀，開始左顧右盼，好像覺得對話越來越無趣。反正你聽了也會失望，其他女孩有些女孩子的故事我可以說得很精彩，但漢娜各方面都很平凡，除了當然，除了她的頭髮以外，她的頭髮美極了，對吧？ 亨利記得她的頭髮，想到她的頭髮，再想到薩巴斯欽先生碰過它。他崩潰了。來此之前他就知道他會崩潰，知道他們兩人都將就此毀滅，但他沒想到會這麼快，更沒想到光是記憶就能摧毀自己。亨利感覺自己讓人由內而外切開，所有感覺都從那開口流洩而出，一點也不剩。他握住刀，薩巴斯欽先生面不改色，如果他大吃一驚，亨利會愉快些，但無論如何都無所謂了。亨利說道：想想漢娜。然後秉持著他這輩子練得最純熟的兩件事技巧和恨意將刀擲了出去。那飛刀速度快到看都看不清楚，要不是讓薩巴斯欽先生的心臟擋住，非刺穿牆壁不可。多美好啊，一切都很完美，連死亡也是，多麼美好。等了這麼多年，竟只花一秒鐘就將一切作結。傷口和刀密合，所以流血不多，薩巴斯欽似乎並不在意，低頭看看傷口，抬頭看看亨利，然後笑了。 他說：你是個好學生。他最後一次讀出亨利的心。你是最棒的一個。 然後就死了。 亨利走進那屋子的時候，是個白人，離開時變成黑人，並以此形貌度過餘生。 大多數私家偵探在執業之前都在警察機關或公家單位待過相當長的時間，但我很早就進入這行，而且完全無法想像自己會做別的丄作。我愛學校，成兵過程中一心只想學習、閱讀、理解。父母為我擔心，我也為他們擔心。他們和其他我所見過的大人都是活生生的例子，一旦男孩變成男人，對於事實的追求就會告終。只有學者會把人生拿來提問、學習、發現新事物，大多數的人我最大的恐懼就是變得跟大多數人一樣輕易就將那些通通放棄，快快樂樂過著對周遭事物和周遭人物、甚至對自己的丈夫妻子都不了解的生活，讓祕密永遠留存。這就是我當偵探的原因，我總是好奇，總想知道我所不知道的事，總想把事情搞清楚。獲知事實能讓我得到某種解放，即使消息本身很糟，也是好消息。 我跟亨利說，我無權逮捕他。我要他別逃，執法者可能很快就會來把他抓去關進監獄，這要看情形而定。他聳聳肩膀，他已經放棄了。 我始終沒跟他說漢娜的事，沒告訴他那個他誤以為已經死去的妹妹其實還活著，就住在兩百哩外。我應該說的，但我沒說，當時我並不明白為什麼。 我過去之前先打了電話，因為她要我先打電話。她說現在時間不怎麼方便，但我說我有消息，她沉默片刻，然後要我快去。我猜她先生大概快到家了，而且她依然將此事保密。婚姻還真是件美好的事。 她抱著寶寶來開門，寶寶驚訝地望著我，但漢娜微笑請我入內。 她向我身後望去，說：你車就停在街上。 我說：不會太久。其實說不定會，我並不確定。但說話語氣夠肯定，人家就會相信你，有時候連自己都忍不住會信。 我們坐的椅子跟上次一樣，只有漢娜身邊多了個嬰兒床，此外一切都沒改變。 她說：你說有消息。 我這麼說的嗎？我想我態度不太友善，可當發現有人對我說謊的時候，我通常都友善不起來。有人對我說謊的時候，我會變成大家原本期待的、像鮑嘉或馬羅的那種硬漢，會不客氣地頂人家的話，會不按牌理出牌，會為了問出他要的資訊扭斷人家胳臂。這全都是她罔顧我從一開始就闡明的需求，那很簡單嘛，真的很簡單，我只求事實。 她說：拜託，快告訴我吧！ 漢娜，我做了點調查。 那還用說，我就是請你去調查的。 我是說調查妳。 聽見這話她有點退縮，退得不多，但氣勢比之前弱了。她說：我？real?眼睛睜得大大，充滿疑惑，就像在問：為什麼？ 我冷冷看她一眼。妳為什麼沒告訴我？ 她把寶寶的重心從一邊腿上移到另一邊。對不起，我沒告訴你什麼？ 我說：妳沒告訴我當時發生的事，沒告訴我真正發生的事。妳只說自小和家人分開，卻沒說是怎麼分開的。 怎麼分開的？ 我瞪著她，直到她軟化為止。 因為我覺得那沒什麼要緊，至少跟我委託你的事沒什麼關係。她又說謊了，明顯到就像掛了面大旗，上頭寫著我是謊言一樣。 我說：問題就在這裡，重不重要得由我決定。有個女孩讓人誘拐，消失不見，大家都認為她死了，二十年後卻出現在康科特丘，過著富裕的生活，從沒想過要回自己的家？雖然我不是愛因斯坦，也知道這很重要。 我把一張剪報扔到茶几上，那是一個在美聯社工作的老朋友給的，還我人情。上頭寫的和亨利說的相符，旅館、城市、怪人、失蹤，每件事都在上頭。 她並沒伸手去拿剪報，甚至連看都不看。她不用看，因為上面寫的她都知道。 妳一開始的時候為什麼沒跟我說？ She said: I don't know.但她知道，她的表情就跟幼兒書一樣淺顯易懂。我並不是想隱瞞什麼，馬文尼先生，我請你是要找亨利，不是要查我自己的過去。這到底有什麼要緊？ 寶寶哭了兩聲，她搖一搖他，安撫一下。 我說：事實當然要緊，卡拉漢太太，那是我的工作，我的工作就是追尋事實，所以當我發現有人向我隱瞞事實的時候，就會生氣。 你看起來並不怎麼生氣。 這是我在工作中的另一長項：喜怒不形於色。 她擦掉寶寶臉上的淚水，看看我。那種眼神我見過，意思就是：好吧，我放棄，跟你說實話好了。不過當然了，通常接下來說的還是謊話，可我打算再給她一次機會。 她說：你這份報導上寫的不是事實，事情經過不是那樣的。 real?我拿起剪報，假裝重讀一遍。do you know這還蠻難搞錯的。 她沒否認。有一部分是對的，只是不全對。 continue. 她起身把寶寶放進嬰兒床，他像小貓似的瞄喵叫了一分鐘，然後就睡著了。漢娜雙手放在膝上，開口之前深深吸了一口氣。 我確實和家人分開了，這部分我跟你說的是事實，之後我再也沒有見過我爸或我哥，那也是事實。但那並不是誘拐，馬文尼先生，那是一個協議。 一個協議？ 我我們當年生活並不容易，我不是在抱怨，只是陳述事實。我還沒滿十歲，我媽就得肺結核死了，我爸失去一切，我們幾乎一無所有。他在一家旅館找到工作，當工友，你能想像那種情景嗎？他原本是大人物，竟淪落至此。他恨自己。他開始喝酒，喝得很凶，起初在工作之外的時間都是醉的，後來連工作時也醉醺醺。我們只有晚餐時間才會見到他，其他時間他就好像死了一樣。 我說：真悲哀。 Yes.我和亨利很親，非常親。他太愛我，我想他我想他想要救我。 救妳？Why? 她說：因為世界太險惡，剛開始我隨他去，但後來發生一些事情。 What's up? two things.我不知道是不是有確切的想法，但總之我了解到他沒法替我過我的人生，之後我們就有了距離，我想要某種他給不了的東西，於是我們為自己創造了新生活。就在那個時候，出現了一隻流浪狗，我把全副精神都投注在牠身上，全心全意照顧牠，牠讓我有力氣活下去。 另一件事呢？ 她搖搖頭說：亨利大受打擊，一副慘兮兮的樣子，即便在那個時候，他也不是那種讓你可以寄託夢想和希望的型。後來，他的重心也轉移了。 薩巴斯欽先生。I said. 對，薩巴斯欽先生。那當然不是真名，他只是想讓自己聽起來更神奇一點，想讓亨利覺得他很神奇。他並不是真正的魔術師，只是會一點變魔術的技巧。事實上，他是個推銷員，賣肥皂，各式各樣的肥皂，其中也包括高級旅館用的那種，所以才會住進佛瑞蒙特飯店。 我說：賣肥皂的。 亨利對他著了迷，想學會所有他會的把戲，整天待在房裡，最後就連我爸都注意到他不對勁。有一天，他跟在亨利後面，想看他去哪裡。亨利離開之後，我爸敲門進去，見到那人，聊了很久。從那天起，他們天天聊，大約聊了一個星期左右。 那亨利呢？ 他毫不知情。 好，然後呢？ 您稱之為薩巴斯欽先生的這個人，賺錢不少，你知道的，就算時局再艱困，人還是需要肥皂。 good.I said. 我爸在談話過程中了解到，薩巴斯欽先生是個好人，有錢，而且一直想要有個家庭。至少要有個自己的孩子。 那他為什麼不生一個？ 漢娜笑了，但笑得很勉強，是那種你不知道要說什麼好的時候硬擠出來的笑。她說：別傻了。他有皮膚病，連太陽都不能曬，要不然就會灼傷。他的臉白到嗯嚇人，女人通常不會喜歡吧。 我說：了解。 總之，我爸照顧不了我和亨利兩個，尤其是我，他沒法忍受我過那種生活。 漢娜停頓一下，想讓我把整件事理出頭緒。她把套在手指上的婚戒轉著玩，左半圈，右半圈。我一分鐘前就把這些事在腦中組合好了，現在又重新拆開，因為我不喜歡它的樣子。可這就是事實。 我說：他們做出一個協議。 She said yes. 內容是？ 他要送掉我，馬文尼先生，我爸把我送給薩巴斯欽先生。 我甩了甩頭，不是因為我不信她，而是因為她的話讓我很難接受。我得甩甩頭才能騰出空間把這些話塞進去。 我說：妳爸把你送人了。我非得重述不可，這樣才能讓自己相信，也才能讓事情聽起來合理些。 她向沉睡中的寶寶望一眼，然後回頭對我說：是的，我沒被誘拐，而是被收養了。他接納我，而我姓了他的姓。She smiled.這不怎麼合法，沒簽文件，我想你可以稱之為君子協定。 我可不知道能不能這麼稱呼它，君子通常不會拿孩子送人。 你要怎麼評斷我爸隨便你，但這就是事實。以一個讓人像棒球卡一樣賣掉的女子而言，她的態度高傲了點。 一定很難受吧。 是的，很難受。剛開始我很想念我的第一個爸爸，還有亨利，我特別想念亨利，沒法想像他要怎麼捱，但後來我們三個 你們三個？ 薩巴斯欽先生、我，還有那隻狗瓊．克勞馥我們開始了與過去完全不同的生活，很好的生活。他將我當作自己的小孩，扶養我長大，如果我沒跟著他，不知道會有多慘。馬文尼先生，我有一個家，還去上學，一直上到大學，我親生父親恐怕沒法給我這些。所以，是的，我過得很好，好得令人吃驚。 聽起來好極了。我拿起剪報。那這又怎麼說？報紙通常不會自己編故事。 那是我爸弄的，為了亨利。 為了亨利？ 他沒辦法把自己做的事告訴亨利，把我交給別人，他說不出口。要是亨利知道了，他沒法活，所以他就叫了警察，把事情弄成那樣，好讓亨利以為 以為妳被誘拐，被人強姦，被人殺掉。他居然認為亨利這樣想會比較好？這是什麼爸爸？ 她說：他並不是個勇敢的人，馬文尼先生，我爸對我做的事是對的，他幫我找了個新爸爸來代替他，我真心相信這是對的。但他對亨利做的不對，這就是為什麼我要你去找他，我要告訴他，我要他知道我還活著。 這就是整個故事裡我覺得最荒謬最錯亂的地方，她過得確實很好，這一點任誰都看得出來。她是個美女，有大房子住，有孩子，有保姆，還有個成天工作的丈夫。她似乎真的很快樂，我聽過亨利的說法以後，實在很難理解這種情形怎麼可能發生。 那麼，你找到了嗎？ 找到什麼？ 亨利啊，你說有消息，我以為你一定是找到他了。 她眼中燃起的希望足以點亮全世界。我說：我想是吧。Yes. 她興奮地說：真的？噢，天啊，真的嗎？他還是魔術師嗎？ I nod.照我收集的資料看起來，他不是很好的魔術師，但是確實是個魔術師沒錯。 Henry.她流露出渴念的神情。你不知道有多少個晚上我臨睡前都在想，不知道再見面會是什麼情景，馬文尼先生，我好想見他！現在我有家了，不是我想像中的樣子，但確確實實是家，我要他成為其中的一部分。我們有錢，如果他需要錢，我幫得上忙。如果他願意的話可以跟我們住在一起。最重要的是，我要告訴他我還活著。他現在什麼樣子？ 我說：就跟妳剛說的一樣，他一副慘兮兮的樣子。 漢娜正要接話，就聽見外頭有聲響。我也聽見了，那是車子開進車道的聲音。車門打開，關上，腳步聲漸漸接近，她向我拋來一個被逮到了的表情，那個表情我知道十八種說法。 她說：噢，糟糕。 他不是暴力型的人吧？我當然能保護自己，我沒看起來那麼弱，只是想先問一聲，好先擺出防禦姿勢。 She laughed.不，他不是暴力型的人，我連他生氣的樣子都沒看過。 Really?那保密又是為了什麼？ 她起身去鏡子前檢查儀容，想讓那個男人看見她最好的一面。因為我不想讓他覺得我很難過。然後她轉過頭來面對我說：他非常愛我，希望我幸福快樂，而且我並不是真的有多難過，只是希望亨利能跟我們一起。 我說：我該走了。 她說：不，多告訴我一點，他到家以後都會先去開灑水器，然後看看杜鵑花，所以要再過一分鐘才會進來。 我闔上便條本，跟鉛筆一起收進口袋，然後看著她，深吸一口氣，那是我這輩子吸得最深的一口氣，連腳趾頭都感覺到了。我說：在他進來以前，我有件事得跟妳說，其實，應該說是兩件事。 當某人說：我有件事得跟你說的時候，通常不會是好事。她等在那裡一動也不動，有如嚴冬石像。我說：漢娜，薩巴斯欽先生不管他本名叫做什麼，他死了。 What? he died.這是我要跟妳說的第一件事。我稍稍停頓一下