Chapter 14 Chapter Twelve

As long as I have something to do, I'm fine.I have to find something to do, so that I don't think, don't think about it, lest the memory engulf me like water gradually freezing, and I return to the darkness, with eyes staring at me and fingers touching me.no.I absolutely can't think about it. I tackle the fridge first, emptying out all the old food and wiping down the shelves.Then, of course, I also had to go shopping to refill the fridge.I went to Conton Street, went to the bank, and withdrew £250 from my account.The number of deposits can be described as falling endlessly, and there is no hope that it will stop falling and rebound for a while.Then I bought tangerines, apples, salad ingredients, cheese, coffee and tea, fresh milk, toast, cream, eggs, yogurt, honey, two bottles of wine, one red and one white, six bottles of beer, several packets of potato chips and olives.I didn't buy meat because maybe Zou was a vegetarian.I also bought laundry detergent, and toilet paper.Although I still feel a bit uneasy and unfamiliar in Zou's place, I still manage to make myself feel like I am at home, take a bath, do my laundry, adjust the heat, cook my own food, and light the candles when the night falls.But I have been waiting for a key to be inserted in the lock, waiting for Zou to walk in the door.I've also been worried that she won't come back.She is like a ghost in her own home and haunts me.

I staggered back to the house, the heavy plastic bag sinking deep into my ungloved fingers.I have to stop and rest every once in a while, and then tighten up a bit.Once I stopped to put the bag down, bent over to breathe, when a man came up to help me. I'm fine.I spoke harshly, watching the friendly expression on his face fade away. I went back to the residence and took out three envelopes from Zou's desk, one of which contained fifteen pounds, which I wanted to return to Terry, and the other one contained fifty-five pounds, which I wanted to return to Sheila and Guy, and then I put ninety pounds in it. Enter the third one, to return Sam.I secretly vowed to make a pilgrimage later to pay off the debt and thank you personally.

It occurred to me that I should have reported the phone missing, it should have been done right away.I started dialing a number, but another thought flashed through my mind, and I hurriedly hung up the phone, as if it would bite. I went out again, walked to Menor Street, then turned another road, and finally came to a working telephone booth.The kiosk smelled like urine and was covered with small advertisements. There were massage services and quite complete French courses.I put in a twentyp and started dialing.Three beeps and then connected. Hello?I said. There was no answer, but I could hear breathing on the other end.

Hello, who are you?Hello, hello. The sound of breathing continued.I thought of the wheezing laughter in the dark, the hood, the hands carrying me from the platform to the barrel.Suddenly, I realized what I was doing, and it took my breath away.I managed to stammer out: Can I talk to Abby, please? A voice on the other end answered, I don't know if I recognized it: She's not here now.Beads of sweat dripped from my forehead, and the microphone felt slippery in my hand.The voice continued: I can relay your call.who are you Zou.I hear myself say that.I was about to throw up, bile welling up my throat.

The phone hangs up.I stood there for a few seconds, holding the microphone in my hand.A man on a pair of crutches stopped outside the booth and tapped the end of one of his canes on the glass.I hung up the phone, pushed the door open and ran towards the residence, as if someone was chasing me.I put in the closet the bag I brought with me when I was discharged, which included the clothes I was wearing when I was found, and some sundries I left in the hospital.I rummaged around in my pocket and finally found the card that Inspector Cross had given me.I dialed that number and he answered right away.

Talking to Cross again was no joy.He was a little embarrassed and sympathetic the last time we met in the hospital.Or to be more precise, pity, but that pity repulsed me, and I felt a deep sense of anger, shame, and fear, and I still resent it to this day.I said I had something urgent to tell him, but I can no longer set foot in the police station, can he come to me.He said it might be better to see me after get off work, which made me think I was an inadmissible case.We agreed that he would come to my place shortly after five o'clock in the afternoon. This stern conversation lasted about a minute, and when I put the microphone back, I was so disturbed that I took two painkillers, drank a large glass of water, and went into my room to lie on my bed for a while, face to face. Close your eyes.

Did I speak to that man on the phone just now?I don't know, but what I felt when I was in the phone booth was the feeling you get when you wake up from a nightmare, a feeling of falling, rolling in the endless darkness so strong that I still feel dizzy even now Dazzled and terrified. I have two hours to spare before Cross arrives.Two hours is a long time when you're feeling terrified and alone.I poured myself a glass of wine and dumped it in the sink undrinked.I spread cream on a slice of toast, and when I'm done, I spoon the yogurt into a bowl and stir it in honey, which has a calming effect.I end up with another large cup of tea.I decided to change my clothes. I should wear more understated and more demure clothes that would make me look reasonable and sane, not the kind of woman who makes up stories about being kidnapped by a murderer and imprisoned in a basement.I picked out a pair of beige trousers and a pointed-neck cashmere sweater that I used to wear to meetings with the finance department.

The problem is, I'm not who I used to be anymore.My clothes hung down my body, making me look a bit like a kid in grown-up clothes.My hair was cut short and bristly like a hedgehog, and neither the color nor the hairstyle matched the cashmere sweater and decent beige trousers.I gazed at myself in the mirror, dissatisfied and deeply concerned.I ended up changing into a pair of old jeans, fastened with a belt, and a red flannel T-shirt that hung in the closet, though I couldn't recall ever buying it. I ponder the question of my mobile phone.Should I stop talking, or should I keep it, especially knowing that it might be that guy who is holding it now?I hesitate.In my mind, it is an invisible thread that connects us.I can tear the thread, or I can try to trace it and then I follow the thread out of the maze, or back again?

I examine the papers I have taped on the wall.I was originally taken in the late afternoon or early evening on a Wednesday.What can be inferred from this?nothing.I called Sadie, really just to say hello, just to hear a friendly tone from a life that seemed lost, but I didn't leave a message when she was out.I thought about calling Sam, or Sheila and Guy, but decided not to.Tomorrow, I will call tomorrow.I went to the window and stood there for a few minutes, just staring blankly at the passers-by.Maybe that man knows where I am, because maybe this is where I used to live.Would I just hide in the only place he knew where to find me?

I don't know what to do with myself until Cross arrives.I have to keep myself busy, keep busy, deliver my urgent work and the time limit that cannot be delayed, and convince myself that I am one step ahead of him.I strolled into Zou's room, which was orderly.I opened her wardrobe and drawers, and all the clothes were neatly folded, even her underwear was arranged in an orderly manner, one on top of the other.I opened the square leather jewelry box above her locker to find earrings, a thin gold necklace, a fish brooch, and inside was a square white card; I turned it over and taped the back With a four-leaf clover.I looked at the books on the tea table beside her bed. There was a recipe for Thai cuisine, a novel written by a male author I had never heard of, and a collection of poems "101 Good Poems of Kindness".

There is also a videotape with a blank label.I went back to the living room and plugged it into the VCR.Nothing, nothing.I hit forward fast forward, and a blurry shoulder appears, then the camera snaps to a leg.Apparently a novice's first home video.I leaned forward and waited. When I saw Zou's face, there was a half-smile, which gave me a very strange feeling.Then the camera pulled back, and she was standing by the oven in the kitchen, stirring something, looking back at the camera and making faces at the unknown photographer.She was wearing the bathrobe that hung behind her bedroom door, and her flat slippers.It might have been morning, or late at night, it was hard to tell.The screen went blank again, then blurred.Several lines swung down, and then, all of a sudden, I saw myself, who I was before that happened.I sat cross-legged in an easy chair with a glass of wine in my hand.I was wearing slacks, unpainted, and my hair was coiled on top of my head as long as it used to be.I grinned, raised my glass to toast and blew a kiss as the camera zoomed in until my face was out of focus. The frame went blank for a few minutes, and then I saw a black-and-white video of a woman wearing a feathered hat, riding a horse sideways.I press fast forward, but the video continues until the end of the credits.I turned the video upside down and stared at Zou's smiling face again, and then at my own smiling face again.I look happier than I can remember in a long time.I ran my fingers over my cheeks and found myself crying. I turned off the TV, ejected the videotape, and put it back in Zou's room, above her book "Le Shan Hao Poems".I saw a video camera above her wardrobe, along with a pair of binoculars and a tape recorder.The phone in the living room rang twice, and then the answering machine answered. After a pause, a voice said: Hi, Zou, it's me.Just confirming things tonight.If I don't hear back from you, I'll assume tonight's date is the same.He did not leave a name.Somewhere, there's someone waiting for Zou to show up, a friend, or a lover.Impulsively, I dialed 1471, but was unable to locate the caller's phone number.He may have called from the office. A few minutes later, the phone rang again, and I answered it right away. Hello?I said. Zou?said the voice on the other end of the phone.Then, before I could answer, the voice was full of breath and anger. Zou, I'm Claire.Benedict.You must also know that I have left dozens of messages, but you have not returned any calls, but No, I am︱ You also know that your work should have been sent to the printing house long ago. Listen, I'm not Zou, it's her friend, Abby.sorry. Oh, so can you tell me where Zou is?You must also understand that I am anxious to get in touch with her. I don't know where she is. Oh well, can you tell her I'll call her when you see her? Claire of ISP.Benedict.She knew what it was for. Okay, but therein lies the problem, she just seemed to just disappear out of nowhere.When was she supposed to hand in the manuscript? Disappear out of thin air? Well, maybe. She was supposed to submit her formatted document by January 21st, which was the deadline.She didn't mention she was having trouble finishing it, she didn't say hello to us at all. Does she usually deliver on time? Yes, on time.Listen, are you serious about her disappearance? I'll let you know what happened, okay?Leave your phone number. I scribbled the number on the back of an unopened envelope and hung up the phone. Then the doorbell rang. I froze for a moment, thinking that Koros was someone else.I've only seen him in a suit, with his hair neatly combed, and with an air of inscrutability.Today he wears a pair of well-worn brown corduroy trousers, a thick sweater, and a padded blue jacket with the hood pulled up over his head.He looked as if he should be chopping wood for a fire in the garden, or playing with his children.Does he have children?But his frown was still the same. Hello, I said, stepping back to let him in.Thank you for coming. Abby? Don't you like my new look? It is indeed very bold. This is my disguise. I get it, he said, looking uncomfortable.Anyway, you look much better and healthier. Would you like a cup of tea? OK.He looks around.The place you're looking for isn't bad. I'm not quite sure how I found it. Koros looked a little confused but didn't ask further, instead he asked: how are you recently? Like a frightened bird.I poured some water on the tea bag and kept my back to him.Of course, there are other situations.But that's not why I asked to meet you.I have some new news.Do you want to add sugar? One, please. I should have offered you biscuits, but I don't think there are any biscuits here.I can bake you some toast. Do not bother.Did you remember anything? no.I handed him the tea and sat in my easy chair opposite him.One thing, uh, two things actually.First off, I think I just talked to him. His expression didn't change.he?he said politely. It's the man who kidnapped me, him. You said you talked to him. Make phone call. He called you? no.I called him I mean, I called my mobile number because my phone was missing and someone answered.I knew it right away.He also knows that I know. Let me get the situation straight first.You call the number of the mobile phone you lost, and someone answers, and the person you say is answering is the one you claim to have kidnapped you. I am not claiming.I said. Cross sipped his tea.He looked tired.What's his name, the guy who answered the phone? I don't know, I didn't ask, he wouldn't have told me anyway, and I was suddenly terrified.I thought I was going to pass out.I was talking about talking to Abby on the phone. He rubbed his eyes.oh.He barely said the word. I didn't want him to know it was me, but I think he did anyway. Abby, cell phone thefts abound.This is a common case of theft. Then he asked me who I was, and I said: Zou. Zou.He recounted it once. Yes.You know, the owner of this place is called Zou.Zou Sefen.amber.I must have seen her, but I don't remember it.All I know is that I moved here while she was still here.In that week, just before I was taken into captivity.I said the last sentence indignantly.He just nodded and looked at his tea.That's the second thing too, she's missing. disappeared. Yes.She disappeared, and I think the police should take it seriously.I think that may have something to do with what happened to me. Cross put his cup of tea on the table between us.He reached into the pocket of his trousers and took out a large white handkerchief, blew his nose loudly, folded the handkerchief and put it back in the pocket.Are you going to report her missing? She's not here, is she? You tell me you don't remember ever seeing her? can't remember. And you live in her place? That's right. This woman is bound to have family, friends, colleagues. People keep calling and I just got on the phone with someone who offered her a job.I think she should be an editor. Abby, Abby, he said, irritatingly, like he was trying to calm me down.On what basis do you say this lady is missing? Based on the fact that she should be here but isn't. Why? The first was that she didn't pay her bills. How did you come here if you didn't meet her? So I told him.I told him about Terry, and the car at the towing yard, and the receipts and the keys, and I mentioned the rotting trash, the wilting flowers, and the angry publishers yelling on the phone.The story I told wasn't as convincing as I'd hoped, but I fought for it anyway.I ended up with Zou and my video. Maybe you're taking care of the house for this lady you can't remember.He said. perhaps. Maybe she asked you to help with the trash and bills. Then I've taken care of it. That's it. you do not believe me. What to believe? She is missing. She was not reported missing. I'm reporting her missing. But he seemed at a loss for words for a while.Abby, if you don't know someone's background or where they're going or whatever, you can't report missing. I know, I stand my ground.I know something is wrong. Abby, he said softly, and my heart sank.I forced myself to meet his eyes, and he didn't seem angry or angry, just serious.At first you reported that you were missing, but there was no evidence.Now you have to report Zou Sefen.Amber was missing, and he paused.There is no evidence either.You're not doing yourself any favors, Abby. That's it, is it?But what if I'm right and she's in danger, or worse? So be it, he said kindly.Why not let me make a few calls to see if anyone else has expressed concern about her disappearance.okay? good. Can I borrow your phone? Zou's phone call.please. I left the room while he was on the phone, re-entered Zou's bedroom, and sat on her bed.I desperately need an ally, someone who will believe in me.I called Cross because I thought he'd be on my side no matter what happened.I can't do it alone. I heard him hang up so went back to him.How about it? Someone has already reported that Zou Sefen.Amber is missing.He said. see?I said.are friends? is you. What? It was you who reported the case.On Thursday, January 17th, at 11:30 am, you called the Milton Green Police Station. That's it.I have to say it unforgivingly. Apparently she had not been seen for more than a day. I see. I did get it. I saw a few things right away: that Koros would not be my ally, no matter how good he was to me; and that I was a hysterical And crazy ones; besides, I know I'm still free on the seventeenth of January.Jack.Cross bit his lip, he seemed to care about it but I think he only cared about me. I want to help too, he said.But look, she's probably vacationing in Ibiza in the Mediterranean. Yes, I said angrily.Thanks. Did you go back to work?he asks. Not really, I said.a little complicated. You should go back, he said.You need a purpose in life. My goal is to survive. He sighed.Yeah, that's right.If you come across something that I can really handle, call me. I'm not crazy, I said.I may seem crazy to you, but I'm not. I'm not crazy, I'm lying in the tub with a towel over my face, talking to myself.I'm not crazy. I put on baggy jeans and a red T-shirt, and wrapped my hair in a towel.I sat cross-legged on the sofa, and the TV was on loudly.I keep changing the channel, I don't want to be quiet tonight, I want other faces and other voices in this room with friendly faces and voices that make me feel less alone. Then the doorbell rang again.