Chapter 15 Chapter Thirteen

There is no need to be alarmed, no one but Cross knows that I live here.I open the door. I knew right away that I knew him, and at the same time I couldn't remember where the hell I'd seen him. hi, he said.Excuse me Zou?Now he recognized me, and he saw that I recognized him, so he was puzzled.what are you doing here My response was to slam the door.He tried in vain to push the door open and I pushed against it and locked it with a snap.There was a shout from the other side of the door.I bolted the chain and leaned against the door, panting.Then I remembered where I had met him.He is class.Brody, the designer.How did he track down my whereabouts?All they have is my office and mobile number.I made it very clear to Carol not to share my address with anyone, and she didn't have one either.Nor did Terry know, no one knew.Am I being stalked?Have I left any clues that can be traced?He is knocking on the door.Abby, he said.open the door.

go away, i yelled.I'm going to call the police. I have something to talk to you about. That door chain looks like it should be strong enough.What can he do to me through a six-inch door gap?He was wearing a dark suit, a white shirt and no tie, and a gray overcoat that reached past his knees. how did you find me? What do you mean how did I find you?I'm here to see Zou. Zou? I'm her friend. she is not here.I said. where is she? I have no idea. He seemed even more bewildered.do you live here Obviously so. Then why don't you know where she is? I opened my mouth but couldn't think of what to say.Then I said: This story is complicated.You probably wouldn't believe it anyway.Do you and Zou have an appointment to meet up?

He let out a short hee-hee laugh, and looked sideways as if he didn't believe the conversation was going to happen.Are you her receptionist?I really wanted to say it's none of your business, but he took a deep breath.I was supposed to meet up with Zou for a drink two days ago, but she didn't show up.I left a few times and she never called back. That's right, I said.That's what I told the police. What? I tried to report Zou missing, but they didn't believe me. What exactly is going on? She may be on vacation.I didn't say what I said before. Listen, Abby, I don't know what you think I'm trying to do, but can you let me in?

Can't we just talk like this? I think it should be possible.But why bother? Well, I say.But we'd better hurry up, a detective is coming for me in a few minutes. That's another of my better-than-nothing self-preservation strategies. what? Take notes. I unchained the door and let him in.He seemed perfectly at home in Zou's quarters.He took off his coat and threw it on a chair.I untied the towel from my head and wiped my hair with it. You and Zou are you know what I mean?I said. what are you talking about You seem quite at home here.I said. Not as comfortable as you. I just had to find a place to shelter.

He looks at me.Are you okay? I snorted to myself. I know it's okay for you?The most thoughtful answer to this question is that I'm fine.But my short answer is, no, I'm not good.The medium-length answer is that it's a long story, and you don't want to bother listening. Ben walked into the kitchen, filled the electric kettle with water and plugged it in.He took out two mugs from the cupboard and placed them on the counter.I think I'm qualified to listen to the longer version.He said. really long.I said. Do you think you have time? What's the meaning? Before the police came.

I muttered something vaguely. Are you feeling unwell?He said. That reminds me.I took out two painkillers from the medicine box in my pocket, and swallowed them in one gulp with water from the tap.I still get headaches, I said.But that's not the real question. So what's the real problem? I sat at the table and held my head in my hands for a moment.Sometimes if I can adjust my head to a proper angle, the throbbing pain can be relieved a little.I heard a rattling sound.Ben was making tea when he came to the table with two mugs.He didn't sit down, he leaned on the handle of Zou's big chair.I sip my tea.

I became the old sailor of the ancient poets, cornering people and telling them my story.I'm starting to wonder if this makes any sense.The police didn't believe me.The more I say it, the less I believe it myself. Ben didn't answer.He just looks at me. Don't you have work to do?I said. I'm the boss, he said.Can come and go freely. So I vaguely told him an incomplete version of my experience.I mentioned to him my entanglement with Jay and Jonah, some of which he knew because he was a little involved; I told him about my resignation and my breakup with Terry; and I took a deep breath And tell him about my waking up in the cellar, and the days I spent underground; and the days I escaped and was hospitalized, and my story was discredited and I was forced back into the real world.

I'll ask myself the first question you're supposed to ask, and the one thing I'm really sure of is that it took a blow to the head.I touch my head lightly, just above my ear.That still makes me cringe.So if this thump erases parts of my life, it probably adds parts.You know, I never really said that kind of thing out of my mouth?I have thought about it, in the dead of night, when I wake up in the middle of the night, my blood sugar is low, and I think about death.Perhaps a person may have that hallucination after an accident and a severe blow to the head.You may imagine yourself imprisoned underground, with a voice speaking to you in the dark.don't you think

I don't know, Ben said.He was dazed.What a nightmare. I might have been robbed somewhere or run over by a car, I might have just been lying somewhere for hours.Have you ever had a similar dream?You seem to have lived for many years, you have grown old and then wake up only a dream, have you ever had a similar dream? I can't remember my dreams. That most likely indicates that you are mentally sound.But I will remember.You know when I'm there, if I'm really there, I sleep with dreams and I remember those dreams.Lake, floating in water, butterflies on leaves.Does that prove anything?Is it possible to fall asleep in a dream and have a dream within a dream?Is it possible?

I design tapes and pen holders.My knowledge of psychology is limited. That's neuromedicine, I know.I have been seen by a psychiatrist and a neurologist.That's what the neurologist believed me to say.Anyway, that's my story.There was a part of my brain that was missing, and I went around trying to fill that gap by meeting people who might think I was crazy.I've also gone to great lengths to stay alert to avoid someone who might not be looking for me.Did you ever do anything like this as a child?Finding a great hiding place while playing hide and seek, you can hide there for a long time, at first you feel very proud, then you get bored, and finally you slowly find that everyone else has stopped playing.Besides, I also feel like I'm just babbling like a madman, and you're standing there, sane and silent.You are thinking about where Zou is, and you are also thinking about what I am doing here.Well, I don't know where Zou is, and I don't know what I'm doing here, so you can go back to your studio now.

Ben came over and took my glass and went to the sink, where he washed mine and his glass and set them upside down on the drainboard.He looked around for a rag, but there was none so he just shook the water off his hands. I think I know what you're doing here, he said.At least, I know how you met Zou. How did you meet? I introduced you to her.