Chapter 16 Chapter Fourteen

For a moment I felt a surge of excitement, as if another uncharted territory could be added to the landmarks, but then that feeling turned into disgust.what are you talking about?Why are you doing that?You didn't seem to know about it when you came here just now, and you were as surprised to see me as I was to see you. I was surprised, he said.But it must have been through me.He paused.Are you serious?You really have no memory of how you met her? I just saw a video of me and her that we did together.We seem to get along and I seem to be happy.I wish I could remember, I don't mind some happy memories.But no, sorry, no impression.How did you introduce us to each other?Why?Ben was about to speak but then seemed hesitant.You're wondering if you should trust me, aren't you?Very good.Neither the police nor the doctors believed that I was being held hostage.Now you don't believe that I might lose my memory.Soon I may meet people who don't believe I'm really Abby.Deborah.Maybe I'm not, maybe I'm just playing her, maybe that's paranoia, maybe I'm actually Zou and I'm fantasizing about being this guy named Abby.

Ben tried to force a smile, but then he looked away as if embarrassed. So I met her on Monday?I said. Tuesday, he said.Tuesday morning. I thought you said we met on Monday.I'm sure that's what you said. You came back on Tuesday, he said vaguely.With more questions. oh.And Zou is in your studio? We had a coffee down the street at a coffee shop not far from here where she was a regular.She's on her way to an appointment, I think.I introduce you to her.We chatted for a while, and then I had to leave.If you want me to recount your conversation, I want you to tell her you need to find a place to stay.She must have said that you can stay here temporarily.So a mystery has been solved, nothing ominous.

I see. And you think she's missing? I told the detective that I knew it.He thinks I'm crazy.Of course, not the crazy kind of madness, but thinking that I was wrong.I also hope I'm mistaken.I didn't know what to do, somehow I felt responsible for her.Every time I see a picture of her, I feel sad that I didn't do enough.When I was in that place, when I was imprisoned, I kept thinking that the relatives and friends I knew would look for me, and they would make an earth-shattering mess, and they would always worry about me. I just relied on this belief to survive.I had to believe in that, it was so important to feel that I was still alive in people's hearts, and one of the saddest things about coming back was realizing that no one missed me at all.

I think he was trying to interrupt. No one noticed my absence, or it didn't matter if they did.As if I were invisible, dead.I mean, it's not their fault at all, I know they're good friends and I think they love me, really, I would be like them if it were me.If someone disappears for a few days, I don't notice why should I notice?We come and go in each other's lives, don't we?But I can't treat Zou like that because I know what it feels like.But I don't know what to do if I can't treat Zou like that, I hope you can understand this sentence.I was too nagging and I had a horrible feeling that I would cry if I stopped talking.

I stopped, and Ben leaned forward and took my arm, which I instinctively pulled away. I'm sorry, he said, sounding as though he meant it.Having a strange man in your place must make you nervous.I should have thought of that. Well, I mean I sure listen, I stumbled like a guy in the dark, hope you get my drift.My hands were stretched out trying not to fall off the cliff, if there was one to fall.Sometimes I think I catch a glimmer of light out of the corner of my eye, but when I look back, the light disappears.I've been looking forward to seeing that light again, but I can't.When I lost my memory, it was like I lost my map, I was running around blindly, stumbling around, and not only didn't I know where I was, I didn't know who I was.How much of me is still the old me?Especially when other people don't know whether I should shut up suddenly.I'm babbling again, right?He didn't answer.The way he stares at me makes me squirm.

What was I like when we met before? what do you look likeHe doesn't seem to understand my question. Yes. Your hair is longer. Well I know because I cut it short myself, but what do you think I look like?What was my situation? Well, he looked hesitant, and momentarily embarrassed.You look very happy. What shall we talk about?Did I mention anything to you? work, he said.Problems at work. that's all? You also mentioned that you just broke up with your boyfriend. I talk to you about it? You explained that you did not have a fixed address at the time, so if I wanted to contact you, I could only call your mobile phone.

Is there anything else?Did I mention someone I met recently?Have I met anyone else?Did I mention it to you? Not very clear, he said.But I think you should mention it.At least, I have that impression. Well, I was thinking maybe the guy I met was, you know, him. he? The one who kidnapped me. I see, he said, standing up.Well, maybe we go for a drink?You and I will probably feel safer among the crowd. OK.I said. then let's go.He lifted his coat from the chair. Very decent jacket. He looked down at the coat, almost surprised, as if it was a strange coat that he had put on unconsciously.New.

I like that wide and long coat. Kind of like a long cape, Ben said.The kind people used to wear hundreds of years ago. I frowned.Why does it make me feel a little weird hearing you say that? Maybe because you feel the same way. The tavern is full of guests, which is reassuring, and the house is filled with the heat of cigarettes. I treat you.I said, struggling to squeeze to the bar. Moments later we were seated at a table with beer and a bag of potato chips between us. I don't know where to start.You're Zou's friend, right? right. She often travels far away? it depends.She does different projects for different publishers, trade magazines, and so on, some of which have to do research.I remember doing a children's encyclopedia one time, and she had to write profiles of trees in England, and she went around probing three hundred yews, and things like that.

Does she deliver on time? Usually very punctual.She has to live off her editorial work. Does she often make you wait? He looked thoughtful.Like I said, she's very punctual. So, she's supposed to be here instead of here, and she's not on vacation or anything.Something is not right. Maybe not, Ben replied calmly, peering at his beer.She may have gone out of town to get her work out, as she sometimes does.Her parents have a cottage in Dorset which is quiet and undisturbed Can you call over there and find her?Do you have a mobile phone? No distractions, including no phone calls.

Where's her cell phone? I've played it a few times. oh. Or she might be going to her parents.Her father is sick, cancer.Perhaps he was critically ill.Have you tried contacting them? I don't recognize them. She also has an on-off boyfriend, Carlo.Last time I heard it was broken up, but maybe it's broken again and she's on his side.Have you tried contacting him? I took a deep breath.am i okayNo, I said.I do not know him.Or, at least, I don't remember knowing him.But if you had made an appointment to meet her, she should have told you. He shrugged.I'm just her friend.Friendship can be put aside.

Sometimes it is. Zou was very depressed, he spoke slowly, frowning deeply.I mean, really depressed, not just depressed.I thought she should be able to come out.He finished his beer and wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.I'll take you back to your apartment, and then we'll call her friends and family Carlo, her parents to check if they have heard from her.He put his hand in his jacket pocket and took out a cell phone.Use this one.Call a friend, a co-worker, the police, whoever it is, just say you're with me, and we can make those calls. It's so sweet of you to do that, I said. Not sweet.Zou is my friend. I don't need to make this call, I said, and a voice in my head said, Oh, yes, yes, you stupid, stupid, stupid woman. As you wish. On the way back to the residence, I told him how I found Zou's residence from Gerry's receipt and keys in the car. My car is in the police tow yard, I said.I had to pay more than a hundred pounds to pick up the car, and now the car has been impounded again.look.I pointed, and then gaped.The car is gone.Only the original parking space.gone.Damn it, gone again.How can it be?I thought impound meant that the car could not be moved from where it was. Maybe back to the towing yard again.He tried not to laugh. shit. I opened a bottle of wine.My hands were shaking again and it took me a long time to uncork the bottle.Ben dialed a number, listened, and spoke.He was obviously not talking to Zou's mother.He put the phone down and turned to me.It was the woman who took care of the puppies for them.They're going on vacation and won't be back until the day after tomorrow. I poured him a glass of wine but he didn't touch it.He put on his glasses and opened the address book to check. Carlo?Hi Carlo, I'm Ben, Ben.Brody Yes, that's right, Zou's friend what?No, I haven't seen her recently, I was wondering if you wouldn't, no, I wouldn't tell her you told me.Won't. He hung up the phone and turned to me.Apparently broke up with Carlo again.He is not in a good mood. So what do we do now?As I said that, I noticed that I had used us, so I took a quick gulp of my drink. Do you have anything to eat?I'm starving.Zou and I were going out to dinner tonight. I opened the refrigerator door.There are eggs, toast, cheese, lettuce, macaroni.That's about it. Or shall I get some scrambled eggs? I like. He took off his coat and jacket and found a pot in a large cupboard and a wooden ladle in the top drawer.He knows where everything is placed.I sat back and looked at him.It took him a long time to scramble eggs.He does things methodically.I had another glass of wine, and I felt extremely tired, vulnerable, and a little bit tipsy.I'm tired of being like a bird of fear all the time, always jittery.I can't take it anymore. Tell me what Zou is like.I said. Hold on, a slice or two of toast? one slice.Cream a little thicker. Serve. He and I sat at the dining table and ate scrambled eggs in silence.I drank some more wine. She was shy before getting to know her, he said after swallowing his last gulp.Self-reliance, frugal nature.She only buys what she absolutely needs.Don't go shopping with her, she will carefully select even the most insignificant little things, and then have to shop around.Loves cleanliness, she hates clutter.Good at listening but not good at speaking.what else?She grew up in the country with a younger brother who lives in the US as a sound engineer. She is very close to her parents and has a wide circle of friends, although she usually meets people one-on-one.She doesn't like boisterous occasions with large groups of people. How is her relationship with this Carlo? No hope, really.He's just a young idiot.His tone was quite disapproving, and my expression must have been a little surprised, because he added afterwards: She can have a better partner, and she should date someone who admires her. We all should.I said casually. And she should be considered depressed.She was so depressed that she could barely get out of bed.That's why I'm worried. The night is deep.My whole day has been like a long, dusty journey. Todd, that creepy phone call, Inspector Cross, and this one.Ben saw me and yawned a lot.He got up and picked up his coat from the handle of the sofa.I should quit, he said.I will keep in touch. that's all? What's the meaning? She's still missing, isn't she?It was more certain than it was that it was missing.So what's next?You can't just let it go like this, can you? No, of course not.I think I should drive to the cottage in Dorset.I've been there before and I think I can remember where it is.If she's not there, I'll call her friends.If nothing is found, I will go to her parents.And uh, I think I'm going to call the police. I'd really like to go to that villa with you, if it's convenient.I didn't expect to say that, and he looked at me in surprise as the words came out of my mouth. When are you going to leave? uh, now. You mean, right now?Driving overnight? I'd rather be on the road now.I'm not tired, I haven't had much to drink, and I have an important meeting tomorrow afternoon, so I won't be able to go tomorrow, and you've got me worried. You really do what you say. You don't really want to go, do you? ︱ I shuddered and looked out the window into the cold, dark night.I don't want to go, but I also don't want to stay here, lying in bed covered in cold sweat, my heart beating wildly, my mouth parched, waiting for the dawn to make the unbearable fear more manageable.Looking at the clock, I fell asleep but woke up suddenly within a few minutes, listening for any noise, and even the wind and grass would be frightened.Think of Zou.think of me.Thinking of that man in the dark, staring at me covetously. I'm going, I said.where is your car outside my house. where is your house Belsize Park.Just a few stops by subway. We take a taxi.I can't bear the idea of ​​being underground tonight, and I've had enough scares today. OK. I'm going to wear some warmer clothes.This time I'm going to call people and tell them who I'm with and what I do.Excuse me.