Chapter 2 Part Two Distant Voices

Song Gong's voice is very similar to that of his father. I was surprised when I heard his voice for the first time.Bangzi likes him for that, right? Kuniko's older sister, Kyoko, said while carefully wiping the water on the table with a tablecloth.Kyoko's family lived on the road from Meguro to Gotanda.You can often hear the sound of trams passing by, and you can also hear the rattling and rattling of the rolling shutter doors of nearby shops when they close. Yeah?Is that the father's voice? Bangzi was folding paper cranes with advertising leaflets. When she was talking, she stopped what she was doing and glanced tentatively at her sister.

One wing of the paper crane has been completed. As long as there is paper at hand, Bangzi will use it to origami cranes when he is free, which is a hobby inherited from his father.Not the origami cranes, but the origami methods of folding wooden boats, lanterns, and fox faces were all taught by my father.To this day, Bangzi still clearly remembers the warmth of sitting on his father's lap while folding paper together. It's really similar. Yes, he replied vaguely, and Kuniko's fingertips moved again. Really? At first, Bangzi just had this kind of confusion in her heart, but when she explored this question, she wanted to find the reason for the confusion.

What is the voice of the father? What surprised me too was that Bangzi couldn't recall anything.Only the expression on the corners of father's mouth when he spoke appeared in his mind, but he couldn't hear the sound.But my sister remembered my father's voice. The reason why Bangzi was confused was not only this: another question was mentioned in the sister's words: Bangzi liked him. Do I really like Songgong? The night before yesterday, Kuniko took Song Gong to her sister's shop.My sister and brother-in-law opened a small cafe in Yoyogi.Usually after eight o'clock in the evening, Jingzi is on duty in the store.

Bangzi is twenty-nine years old, and Song Gong will soon be thirty-four years old. They have known each other for more than half a year.We can see each other two or three times a month, and our contacts are limited to watching movies and eating together. Although they are not dating for the purpose of marriage, at their age, it is normal to think about marriage.Bangzi also wanted to bring Song Gong to his sister for a long time, so he led him to her sister's shop the night before yesterday. You said that his voice is very similar to that of his father, why can't I feel it. I know my father's voice very well, especially his hysterical curses.

When did father scold someone hysterically? Of course not for you, but I am often scolded by him. Although they are sisters, they have different memories of their father, which we have already noticed before. Bangzi is loved by his father, but Jingzi is not so valued. Is my sister still brooding over this matter? The conversation stopped in the middle, and the sound of a speeding tram was heard in the distance. Here, let me show you something interesting. Kyoko picked up a rectangular piece of paper while talking, and then folded the upper part of the paper staggered and obliquely to make it into the shape of a pointed house.

when The clock rang, and I looked up to see that the hands of the watch were at half past ten.It will be a while before brother-in-law Jing comes back. My sister and brother-in-law have no children, and my brother-in-law is a salesman while running a cafe. He is a very capable person, which may suit my sister's taste.Several years ago, the two had a quarrel because of their brother-in-law's extramarital affairs, but they did not get divorced afterwards, and everything calmed down again. What?Interesting stuff? Kyoko just focused on origami and didn't say a word.Bangzi urged impatiently.

Jingzi folded the pointed house lengthwise a few times to make a square tube. This is a foreign coffin, and the pointed vampire lives in it. Um. Bangzi thought it was something interesting about marriage, but it didn't look like it. First there were bright flashes of lightning and then rumbling thunder. My sister took out the scissors and cut along the folds of the paper coffin. The coffin was broken. Very childish. My sister likes to suddenly insert some irrelevant and abnormal topics when talking seriously with others, which has almost become a hobby.Some people think that this is deliberately making a fool of themselves during the conversation, but in fact it is just that Kyoko suddenly thought of something and said it casually.Sisters born from the same mother, but they are very different.

Mother is also like this. Bangzi thought. The relationship between father and mother is not very harmonious, although they don't often quarrel, but in terms of their personalities, life is not harmonious.My father likes to be quiet, he is used to deep thinking, and he is a delicate person.My mother is also a good person, but her personality is vain and a bit vulgar.A father who is not successful in society is a worthless person in the eyes of his mother. The elder sister inherited her mother's disposition, while Kunizi inherited her father's disposition.For a while, without knowing it, family life was divided into two factions.

Kyoko picked up the cut origami and asked seriously: What will happen to the people in the coffin? have no idea. The elder sister put the cut middle part in the hands of the younger sister, and then unfolded and arranged the rest on the table.As a result, the four English letters HELL appeared on the table. HELL is hell, right?sister asked. Um. Go to hell. However, if I pray for him, Kyoko crosses her arms and bows her head in prayer.Then he urged Bangzi: quickly open the paper in your hand and have a look. Bangzi opened the paper that her sister gave her just now, and a cross appeared.

Interesting. Maybe it was taught to my sister by the regular customers of the cafe. Kyoko smiled innocently. My sister came to visit me specially tonight, there must be some reason. My sister is also a simple person, she must be thinking: If there is anything you want to ask, then just ask directly.So my sister decided to ask her directly. Sister, what do you think of Song Gong?There are still many advertising leaflets, but after folding an origami crane, Bangzi doesn't want to fold any more. How about asking this person?I feel good.The company he works for is also very good, and he is still the second son at home, right?

Yes. good. According to my sister's criteria, as long as they work in a good company and are not the eldest son, all men who meet these conditions are good men.But my sister wants to hear more opinions. What kind of relationship is the so-called couple?What kind of feeling? My sister laughed happily: I don't understand such a serious question.Even if you understand a little bit, it won't come in handy when you get married.The most important thing is feelings, you like Song Gong. I don't know, I just don't hate him.But what to say, why had to be him?I can't figure it out when I think about it. How can anyone figure it out in reality? What about you, sister? fool!My state of mind is different from yours now.What I thought at the time, I forgot The tea stems in the tea bowl also floated vertically on a whim. (The tea stems float upright, which the Japanese believe is a good omen.) Bangzi reached out to the advertising leaflet again, but after a second thought, he decided not to fold it.Said: Considering my age, I am no longer qualified to make extravagant demands on marriage, but when it comes to supporting myself, I think I can live alone in my life, so I don't want to make any boring compromises. Kyoko picked up the paper crane her sister had just folded and threw it into the air. But the paper-folded crane didn't know how to fly, so it drew a clumsy curve in the air and fell to the ground. Well, Bangzi, you are free to decide your own affairs. Women must also have a skill.This is what my father often said.Bangzi, on the other hand, lived strictly according to his father's teachings.When I was in college, I passed the first-level English test, and then I was qualified as a tour guide. After graduation, I worked in an airline company for about two years. Now I am mainly engaged in freelance tour guides and interpreters, and I am usually quite busy.And this year, I started to get involved in the translation industry. If I am too lazy to go out, I can do text translation work at home. Therefore, Bangzi has a certain degree of self-confidence in survival. Jingzi took a sip of tea and said as if talking to herself: Daughters usually choose a man who is very similar to their father, especially you, Bangzi, who have a good impression of your father. Does Matsumiya look like her father? See what I said is right.Of course it does, it's my father reincarnated, especially when I heard his voice for the first time, it even shocked me Bangzi was slightly taken aback, while quietly observing her sister's face. What my sister said is very similar, it refers more to the sound like.The voice does not represent the personality, the character is also similar. Bangzi couldn't imagine how Songgong and his father looked like, and he never felt any characteristics of his father when he was with Songgong.I'm afraid he has a completely different personality from his father.In Bangzi's view, compared with his father, Songgong feels like a reckless man. Father is a delicate person, always tenderly protects Bangzi in his arms.My father used to be a soldier. After the end of World War II, he suffered from tuberculosis and quit the army. However, the company he ran did not develop smoothly, and he died of depression at the age of 53.His father's life was a failure from a social point of view, but as compensation for the sadness of his life, his father poured his love into the family.Especially the love for the youngest daughter Bangzi.Therefore, in Bangzi's opinion, there is no better man than his father in this world. Therefore, when considering marriage and choosing a partner, Bangzi tried not to compare him with his father.And I always thought that I had to find someone who was completely different from my father's character and character as a partner. However, Bangzi feels that there are not many good men in reality. From this point of view, I am afraid that she still compares some aspects of others with her father. Does it really sound like that? Bangzi was seventeen years old when his father died, and now more than ten years have passed, but Bangzi still remembers the very subtleties of his father's gestures and facial expressions.Father always raised one eyebrow; there was a big blue vein on the back of his hand; and, yes, he was always prone to napping, and when he was woken, he would pretend to be absorbed in meditation ; Sometimes he will pretend to be naughty like a teenager. These are often in Bangzi's mind. But when it comes to her father's voice, Bangzi can't remember it at all, which makes her very anxious, but her sister remembers it very clearly. After careful analysis, maybe this was deliberately designed by my father, to make my sister remember her voice for the sake of fairness. Hey, when will you give him an answer?sister asked. Answer what? Answer him whether to marry him, YES or NO. Ah, we haven't talked about this kind of problem yet. Maybe the relationship between Bangzi and Songgong is not even a lover. Did he not propose to you? No, maybe he didn't even think about it that way At this age, aren't you in a hurry?Properly take the initiative. However, I think it is better to think carefully in advance. This kind of thing needs to be played by ear, and if it feels inappropriate in the end, there is still time to break up. Is that true?From Bangzi's point of view, no decision can be made without making a final decision.At this point, her way of thinking is completely different from that of her sister. It seems that asking my sister's opinion on this matter is just a waste of time. Just thinking of this, the doorbell rang, and it was my brother-in-law who came back, holding a paper bag in his hand, with a slightly drunken face. Yeah good evening. I came to my sister and brother-in-law's house specially to bother me tonight. I brought back a few particularly delicious persimmons, Bangzi, come and try them too. Kyoko stood up, helped her husband take off his suit, and handed him the kimono.It seems that they are really a close couple. No one could have imagined that the two of them would get into a divorce because of extramarital affairs. The hour hand of the wall clock had already pointed to eleven o'clock, and Bangzi got up to say goodbye: I have to go back, I have a lot of work to do tomorrow. Yeah The brother-in-law still wanted to say something to stay, but then he thought about it again, for a person who is busy with work, this is the time to go home and sleep. Then take a few persimmons back to taste. Thank you. Very sweet, don't believe you try it. The brother-in-law put a few big and red persimmons in the handbag, and Bangzi walked out of her sister's house with it. The night was as cool as water, and the cold moonlight splashed on the roof, the road and Bangzi's body, and occasionally there was a bark or two. In the end, I had to make my own decision, but it was a matter of course. The November night wind penetrated into the body from the neck and cuffs, making people shiver uncontrollably.Bangzi turned up the collar of his coat, feeling that this season and this moonlight seemed to exist in a corner of his memory. Early the next morning, Bangzi's phone rang lazily. It is a notification call to cancel today's work arrangement. The freelance tour guide industry often cancels work arrangements due to various temporary situations.In this way, the time until the evening belongs to Bangzi alone, because he has a date with Song Gong at 7:30 in the evening. Then sleep a little longer! Bangzi closed his eyes again, but once he woke up in the morning, he couldn't fall asleep anyway.Not long after, Bangzi picked up the TV remote control next to the pillow, and the TV screen was quickly changed by Bangzi like a revolving lantern. When I wake up, I can't fall asleep. There is really no way. Opening the window, the dazzling sunlight streamed into the room. Bangzi thought it was troublesome to make breakfast by himself, so he put on overalls with many pockets, pulled on wooden slippers and went out. Kuniko's home is behind Aoyama Avenue, almost the same distance from Meiji Shrine and Aoyama Cemetery, and this morning, Kuniko decided to walk in the direction of Aoyama Cemetery. There is a coffee shop on the way to Qingshan Cemetery, which Kuniko likes very much.The coffee tastes very mellow, and the buttered toast is also very distinctive.Maybe the store wasn't open at this time, but it was probably already open when I came back from the walk, so I happened to go in for a drink. Last night, the weird origami method that my sister demonstrated still lingers in Bangzi's mind, the HELL and the cross made of paper.Perhaps such an association is very suitable for the environment of Qingshan Cemetery. HELL? Kuniko remembered a joke he once read in an American magazine: A driver made a mistake and crashed his car into the wall of a gas station. The driver lost consciousness. After a while, he felt as if he had come to the border between life and death.And this gas station happened to be the gas station of Shell Petroleum Company. There was a very eye-catching neon sign SHELL on the wall. The moment the car hit the wall, the S of the neon sign suddenly went out, and the only thing left was HELL. up.When the delirious driver looked up and saw the logo, he was immediately petrified: huh? !Am I in hell? Although this is just a joke made up by people, it is really interesting to think of the driver's distressed appearance. Which company owns the gas station on Qingshan Avenue?If it's Shell Oil Company, there should be a shell-shaped trademark, right? Bangzi doesn't drive a car, so he doesn't have much impression of gas stations. Just when Bangzi was thinking wildly, he had already walked across the long viaduct and entered the cemetery.Some people entered HEAVEN (Heaven), while others went down to HELL (Hell).The same is true of marriage.One day after marriage, the HELL logo may suddenly appear in front of people's eyes. There are very few pedestrians on this road, but there are quite a lot of cars. At this time, pedestrians are rarely seen, except for the occasional old man who took his dog out for a walk. If my father was still alive, he would be sixty-five years old this year. If the father is still alive, this age is not very old, and it is time to enjoy his old age in peace. It is said that his father's life was an indifferent life, and so is his death, because he has no excessive nostalgia for this world, and he is indeed a person without desire.He would only observe his daughters with silent and warm eyes. If he was still alive, he must be a very kind old man. Suddenly, Kuniko saw his father standing in the back of the classroom and listening to the class seriously on the class visit day.The wind blows the curtains of the classroom like a sail, and the father uses one hand to hold down the curtains that floated At that time, Bangzi was in class, so it was impossible to look back at her father's appearance carefully. However, whenever she thought of her father, the appearance of her father in the classroom that day always jumped into her mind first.It is rare for fathers to come to school for class visit days, and it is usually the mothers who come. Father can always find the advantages of Bangzi and praise her. During the period of living in Guofeng Temple, Kuniko came home late from school at night, and his father's figure would definitely appear at the exit of the tram station.At that time, Kuniko was rehearsing a drama at school, so he came back. The name of the evening drama was "The Story of Xiuzen Temple".His father let Bangzi sit on the back seat of the bicycle, and then pushed the bike towards home, listening intently and happily to Bangzi reciting his lines. Have I ever been scolded by my father? When I think of this, it seems that my father's voice is lingering in my ears. However, I still can't remember. What was his father's voice like? This problem has been bothering Bangzi since last night, and now it comes again.In fact, in Bangzi's memory, there is a fragment of being scolded by his father. That was when I was in the second grade of middle school, and the immediate cause was a quarrel between Kuniko and his mother.And the father has been listening. That night, it was already very late, and Bangzi asked his mother: Mom, is my box lunch ready for tomorrow? For some unknown reason, my mother was in a very bad mood that day, and said, "You said it so late, what should I do?"There is no preparation, you know, a box lunch is not that simple The mother's uncharacteristic tone, as if she had done a great thing for others and asked for gratitude, made Bangzi very angry when she heard it, and said: "Forget it, I will use my pocket money to buy bread and eat it." Then he went back to his room angrily and went to sleep. After waking up the next morning, he found that the boxed lunch made by his mother was on the table, but because he was still angry about what happened last night, Bangzi didn't want to bring the boxed lunch.Turning around and wanting to go out, my mother said: I finally did it, so you should take it with you. Without! But you have to eat, and I did. Didn't I say no to it yesterday! But it is indeed ready. Mom made it for you with great difficulty, so you can happily take it with you.One can never forget thank you. Thanks for what?It was you who said that making bento is troublesome, but I already said no.Do I have to be thankful for doing something I didn't want? The quarrel between Bangzi and his mother lasted for two or three minutes. Bangzi!shut up!From the corridor in front of the bathroom came the father's angry roar. What the father said next was probably to scold Bangzi for being ignorant, but Bangzi couldn't remember the content clearly. That was the only time I was scolded angrily by my father. My father used to be a soldier, and his roar also revealed the majesty and oppression of a soldier.Bangzi remembered being so frightened that his body seemed to be floating. However, his father's scolding voice was not loud, but a restrained and deep voice. However, Bangzi still couldn't remember what his father's scolding sound was like.It seems to be echoing in the ear, but it is really worrying. My sister said that Songgong's voice is very similar to that of his father Compared with Bangzi, her elder sister Kyoko was scolded by her father a lot more times.So my sister remembers her father's scolding very clearly. Garbage cleaning trucks sped by leaving behind a foul smell.Unknowingly, Bangzi has reached the end of the destination, and there is a road on the right that can continue to go in, but that would be a long detour.Kuniko walked around the corner of the stone house and chose a road between small shops and private houses. It's already eleven o'clock when I look at the watch, and the coffee shop that Bangzi likes should have opened.Thinking of this, Bangzi also felt a little hungry.The fluffy bread was like a cotton ball, with a bit of salty butter oozing out of the middle. Putting it in the mouth, the feeling of the bread and butter melting around the tongue was really great, thinking about it, Bangzi unconsciously quickened his pace. He is a very good father. Looking at the faint light shining on the light blue liquid in the cocktail glass to reflect a psychedelic and beautiful shadow, Bangzi said to himself. Matsumiya drank a glass of bourbon with ice water.Neither of them had a lot of alcohol. Tonight, the two met at 7:30, had dinner, and then walked casually on Ginza Street, and finally came to this bar.The conversation between two people is often interrupted by lack of words, which is somewhat boring. If this becomes a problem that plagues lovers, it means that their relationship is not very close. Bangzi talked about his father, because since this morning, the memory of his father has been lingering in his mind. Following Kuniko's topic, Song Gong said: Daughters generally regard their father as the first man in their lives, don't you think so? Well, although people often say that, but explaining this question so simply and directly, Bangzi feels somewhat inappropriate.In Bangzi's mind, his father is exceptionally good. On the contrary, sons often have a special attachment to their mothers.My mother is also a good mother.Compared with my brother, my mother loves me more.In our family, my father is partial to my elder brother, and my mother loves me more, and the division is very clear. Song Gong's father passed away two years ago, and it is said that the third memorial ceremony for his father was held not long ago.His mother and brother live very close. If the mother brings a bowl of soup to his brother from home, the soup will not be cold when he arrives at his brother's house. It's that close. When I think of my mother, my eyes often turn red unconsciously. When talking about his mother, Matsumiya immediately became eloquent, talking about things from childhood to recent things, interspersed with saying that his brother's wife is a prejudiced person. After finally finding a gap, Bangzi said: My sister said that your voice is very similar to my father. Oh really? I can't remember my father's voice no matter what, but my sister who is often scolded by my father said it was like, so it must be like.I'm afraid it's easier to remember loudly. Have you ever been scolded by him? been scolded.Bangzi briefly recounted the box lunch incident that year. As for my mother, I was particularly stubborn, even a little arrogant. really.Songgong nodded, and suddenly shouted out loud: Bangzi!shut up!How about it?looks like? The eyes of the people around were attracted. Bangzi smiled ambiguously.Matsumiya also laughed happily. It was getting late, and it was time to go home and rest. Kuniko still had work tomorrow, so he had to arrive at Narita Airport before eight o'clock.Matsumiya is also very busy, so time is precious for both of them.If the passage of time means that the relationship between the two people automatically moves forward, then this makes Kunzi even more restless. It's time to go back. Um.Song Gong seemed to have something to say, but he didn't propose to keep him. Walking out of the bar gate, Bangzi began to feel a little regretful, thinking, if he stayed like this for one night, maybe the relationship between the two of them would become closer than before, and maybe tonight would be a beginning because he neither hated nor was he a bad person. Can't understand myself. What if I stay up all night at work tomorrow? Songgong sent Bangzi downstairs.Do you live on the third floor?Song Gong got out of the car, raised his head and looked upstairs. Yes.Bangzi nodded and said, next, maybe we should say something like come up for a cup of tea. If Song Gong is invited upstairs, the relationship between the two may undergo an unusual change. However, Bangzi was still hesitating.There are still unclear questions lingering in my mind, and I must not act rashly now. goodbye!Bangzi closed the car door behind his back without looking back, and walked straight to the elevator. Lying on the bed, the hesitation in my heart continued. He's not a bad guy. But why him?Bangzi couldn't figure it out, she knew that if she didn't figure out what she wanted and went further, it wouldn't be good for anyone.If it develops in such a muddled way, it will unknowingly become human, not love. but I am twenty-nine years old. Maybe I will never meet a better marriage in the future. Recently, whenever I look in the mirror, I feel that I am old.Even if you meet a destined person in the future, it can no longer be compared with the marriage when you were young, and it will naturally cast a certain color on it.Bangzi thought again: Anyway, I can support myself, so I might as well take a bold gamble on the marriage issue. Even if I fail, my life will not be completely meaningless Song Gong said: My mother loves me very much. Can a daughter who can't forget her father and a son who loves her mother live in harmony? In the dark, Bangzi heard Song Gong's voice again, it was the voice he yelled when he scolded himself like his father in the bar The moment Songgong's voice disappeared, Bangzi felt a distant voice ringing in his ears. Bangzi!shut up!Bangzi!shut up!A very familiar voice. I really can't figure it out, how about giving up? Before falling asleep, Bangzi could still feel his vague consciousness and rationality, so he asked such a question in his sleepy mind. As a result, Bangzi heard his father's voice clearly: Bangzi!Then give up.