Chapter 3 Two, the beginning of winter
national calamity, family calamity, calamity, escape
In 1947, Lin Biao took over the 800,000 troops in the Northeast, and the Northeast fell.As soon as my father came home, we immediately moved to Hankou without stopping, and lived in the dormitory of a closed alcohol factory in the suburbs.
The dormitory is a two-story villa with a huge courtyard and many century-old trees.There is a study downstairs, which is filled with my father's collection of books, and the walls are covered with bookshelves from the ground to the ceiling.As soon as you enter the door, you will be greeted by bursts of scholarly fragrance.
For convenience, my father kept his favorite books within easy reach.And what I am most interested in are the novels in Wanyou library. My father never reads them, and they are all placed in the bottom row of the bookshelf.I simply slept on the floor, and I could grab a copy without getting up.In less than half a year, I have read all the classics, both ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign.
The state of being immersed in the fragrance of books, traveling in all directions of Jiuzhou, and not touching the dust and mud of the world, really makes people linger and linger, reluctant to come back.I am often stunned by reading books, reality and fantasy are intertwined, and I can't tell the truth from the fake for a while, and I make a lot of jokes.
Once, I saw a young man begging Living Buddha Jigong to help him become an immortal.Jigong didn't think about it, he spit thick phlegm on the ground and said: Do you really want to become a fairy?Just eat this phlegm!
When the young man saw it, he was disgusted, turned around and left.Unexpectedly, a yellow dog happened to pass by, ate the phlegm, and as expected, he ascended to heaven immediately!
I am very puzzled, why do you have to eat thick phlegm to become a fairy?What if it was me?It's worth it if you can really ascend to the sky, but what if you can't ascend to the sky?I was thinking wildly for a while, I didn't know what to do!
One day, someone knocked on the door. I opened it and saw that it was an old man begging for food.Mother often has leftovers, and I went to fetch them immediately.At this time, it was a puddle of thick, thick and white phlegm on the ground.
I don't remember how the old man left, but I was dumbfounded at the mouthful of phlegm, should I eat it?Can I eat it?Yes, I want to ascend to heaven and become a fairy, but what about after ascending to heaven?Can I take my mother to heaven?Let’s talk about thick phlegm, my mother took one mouthful after another all day long, why didn’t I think of eating it?When I cough, don't I swallow the phlegm in one gulp?After thinking about it, I suddenly felt that this pile of phlegm on the ground looked extremely scary!
Anyway, I didn't eat it, and I'm sick of thinking about it.Because of this discernment, I didn't ascend to heaven, nor did I want to ascend to heaven.I vaguely think that if you can ascend to heaven only by eating phlegm, then it doesn't make much sense to ascend to heaven.
I don't remember how many schools I changed, but the school I went to this time was like a temple fair.At first our classroom was on the stairs, which was fine, at least there was only one teacher.Then the whole class was moved to a classroom and taught at the same time as another class. The students sat side by side, but each faced one end of the room.
Two teachers, one in front and the other in the back, were teaching at the same time. The chaotic scene was beyond description.The most interesting one was that someone secretly brought a cat here. It likes to squat on people's shoulders, and its tail often rubs against the necks of classmates who are sitting opposite each other.That classmate was very attentive. He thought someone was joking, and kept ignoring it.Then he got angry and pulled the furry thing desperately.As a result, the cat was in pain, screaming and scratching, and the students ran away in fright, making the whole classroom commotion, as if a bomb had exploded.
My father went to work for state affairs again. This year, I saw the power of nature.The Yangtze River broke its embankment, and the three towns in Wuhan became the whole country, and the water was as deep as one person. I learned to swim temporarily, and I didn't feel bitter at all.
But a big fire frightened me, and I was frightened when I heard the fire.There is a warehouse outside the alcohol factory. One day at dusk, flames burst out suddenly, and the sky was full of orange.
Every family in the dormitory was busy rescuing Xiruan. Amidst the commotion, someone shouted from time to time: The alcohol tank is about to explode!run away!
However, in front of my eyes, I only saw my mother holding the hands of my sister and me, standing in front of the window with a solemn expression.The mother's face was covered with a faint orange red. She was as stable as Mount Tai, and she kept chanting: Great Merciful and Great Compassionate Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva who saves suffering
I stuck my head out of the window, and there were red flames everywhere, and on the edge of the flying flames, there were strands of dark orange smoke, roaring towards the sky.At the center of the flames was a pile of dazzlingly bright roof frames. Whenever they collapsed, there would be a bang, splashing silvery white stars all over the sky.The flames became more and more intense, my face became hotter and hotter, my body was sweating, and gradually I seemed to no longer exist, only the sound of crackling wood and sparks flying all over the sky.
Thinking of the tragic situation of being burned to death, I tried to escape, but my limbs were weak and I couldn't move at all.My mother remained calm as usual, as if Guanyin Bodhisattva was by my side, so I also recited loudly: Great Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guanyin Bodhisattva, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva for saving suffering
After an unknown period of time, the fire gradually subsided, leaving only thick black smoke permeating the air.The three of us, mother and son, were all hot and sweaty.Afterwards, my mother took a bath for us calmly and said calmly: You must have faith in the Bodhisattva, as long as your heart is upright, and you constantly chant the Great Merciful and Great Compassionate Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, the Bodhisattva will definitely bless you.
This incident has had a profound impact on my life, which is indescribable. From nothing to existence, from existence to nothing, it is like a cloud of fog.I have swung from one extreme of belief to another, constantly reciprocating, constantly correcting, so far.If a person grows up in an environment without conflicts, he does not need to doubt everything he encounters.Without doubt, there is no need to deny yourself, let alone pursue the ultimate truth desperately.
After the fire, we moved to Zihu New Village in Wuchang.Soon, my father also appeared. For a while, he didn't go out again, just urging us to study and do our homework.My father’s friend, Mr. Yao De’an’s family, also lived with us. He had a daughter named Aizhu, who was two years younger than me, and immediately became my sister’s playmate.
My father practiced calligraphy every day and forced us to write.Every time I finish writing, my father is always full of praise for Aizhu's handwriting, while mine is criticized as useless.I looked sideways and straight, but I still couldn't see what was good about Aizhu's characters. I couldn't help but suspect that my father was partial, but I didn't dare to argue.One day, I lied to Aizhu to write an article for me, but my father didn't see that it was Aizhu's handwriting, so he called me and scolded me severely, saying: What kind of ghost painting is this?Words cannot be written, and shapes cannot be formed!Thank you for your kindness to show me!
The more my father scolded me, the more proud I was. I said: This is written by Aizhu.
My father didn't understand my intentions, and asked in surprise, "So what did you write?"
You always said that she wrote better than me, and I plausibly said: so I
My father was furious and slapped me, and I was immediately dizzy.
Mother Yao pulled me aside and said: Aizhu is a guest, so your father should be more polite to her, you understand?
I don't understand, why should I be tricked into saying that my handwriting is better than the guest's?My father often said that he was the most reasonable, so could it be said that what he said was reasonable?
In the city of Wuchang, my father had a friend who opened a movie theater, and my mother often took us to see Bawang opera.I remember watching the river of spring water flowing eastward before and after dawn, because everyone experienced the plot in the film, the pain was still fresh, and the audience was crying.Needless to say, my mother has long been crying out of shape, and even Aizhu and I were involved in the emotional storm, and for no reason we accompanied us from beginning to end, tears streaming down our chests.
At this time, I knew a little about the world, at least I could tell from adults' daily conversations and expressions that I was about to flee again.There are constant visitors to the house every day, and their questions are almost the same: Mr. Huai!What should we do?
The father groaned again and again, shaking his head in silence.
I found out later that it was at the end of 1948, during the Battle of Xu Bang, the national army suffered a crushing defeat.The communist army may cross the river at any time, not only the overall situation cannot be dealt with, but there is even no place to escape.
Not long after, my father was transferred to Xingyuan in the west of Hubei, and went to Enshi first, while my mother took my sister and me back up the river.When I arrived in Yichang, my mother's condition worsened and she needed to recuperate, so she sent me to a shoe store run by a friend.Unfortunately at this time, I also suffered from dysentery, stomach pain and diarrhea, and I lived with the extremely smelly hair pit every day, which was extremely painful.I kept clamoring to see my mother, but no one in the store paid any attention to me.
It was a special feeling out of reality. The smell of various leather, rubber and chemicals in the shoe store had already made me lose the cognitive ability I was used to.Coupled with being sick and not being able to go out to play, it was even more restless.Usually there is my mother as a safe haven. Although she is always sick, she is always by my side whenever I need her.This time it was completely different, the strange environment, people's strange attitudes, why can't I see my mother all the time?
The first thought that popped into my mind was that my mother had abandoned me because I was too naughty and she couldn't bear it.But my mother never complained!How could you suddenly throw me away?I do not believe!So, what else is there to do?Could it be that she is the same as Sister E?I can never see her again?
Thinking of this, I immediately cried and made a fuss, and said that I would go to my mother.
The owner of the shoe store persuaded me, saying that my mother’s life is very hard, and it is rare to have a little bit of happiness, so I should stay here obediently.I was even more reluctant to listen to it. What should I do if my mother doesn't want me anymore?
That person couldn't be bothered by me, so I had to ask and please, tell me not to make noise when I saw my mother, and then took me to a theater.Backstage in the dressing room, I saw my mother, beaming, talking to a girl in a costume.I could hardly recognize that it was my dying mother who had been lying on the hospital bed all year round, and I was stunned for a while.
When my mother saw me, she just said, "Are you good?"He continued joking with the girl again.
I had mixed feelings at the time, and the comfort was that my mother was still alive and clearly not abandoning me.However, seeing her being intimate with others made her even more sad.She is my mother, she should like me the most, why leave me alone in a stranger's house?
Many years later, I learned from my mother that the girl was a popular actress in Han opera at that time, with a bleak life experience, and she and her mother regarded her as a bosom friend at first sight.The poverty of early life, the torment of the family after marrying the father, the mother never enjoyed a moment of happiness.Once she had spiritual comfort, her condition improved immediately, and the two were inseparable every day.
In traditional Chinese society, morality is the foundation of one's life, and everyone must abide by it.However, human nature has not been purified because of this, so various venting behaviors allowed by moral norms have occurred.Holding an opera can be said to be one of the representatives. Since ancient times, scholar-bureaucrats have regarded it as an elegant affair, and literati and poets have often regarded opera as the embodiment of inspiration.
The role played by the actor is an illusory, deliberately beautified silhouette, which can be from ancient to modern in time, and can be male or female in gender.For ordinary people, what actors provide is entertainment, and it is enough to be able to appreciate it from a distance.For capable, wealthy and powerful people, actors are ideal playthings, which can not only show their worth, but also avoid many unnecessary disputes.
In addition, there is an element of psychological compensation, because the characters in the play sometimes pretend to be men and women sometimes pretend to be men.Therefore, regardless of whether they are men or women, everyone can openly express their sincere appreciation in a dignified manner, without violating the many taboos between the opposite sex in Chinese society.
In the 1960s, because of the history of Liang Zhuyan, there was a wave of Limbo fever in Taiwan.From university professors to traffickers and pawns, they all fall for Ling Bo.Although she is a woman, but she played the handsome Liang brother, the men love her, claiming that she played Liang Shanbo to life;
It was the only time in my life that I saw my mother's happy face.Now that I think about it, I can not only understand, but also feel more sympathetic.My father was away for many years, and my mother, as a woman in the old society, probably used this to relieve her loneliness.What's more, he was plagued by chronic illness and knew that he was dying, and perhaps under the light of the day, the embers of life would be ignited.
However, at that time, I only thought of myself, and it was only right and proper that my mother belonged to me.She should be there when I need her and comfort me when I am sick.This time she left me in the shoe store, not only did she not pay attention to me, she even showed indifference when she saw me, isn't my mother mine?
Later, my father called to urge us to go on the road, and my mother reluctantly left Yichang.
The boat arrives in Padang, which is a mountain city.In fact, it can't be called a city. There is only one street in total, which runs along the mountain and hangs on the edge of the Yangtze River.The life of the people there is very bitter, and the only local product is a kind of slightly transparent red cherry with small particles.I have never used money, let alone how to buy things. Seeing that I was drooling, my mother gave me a few silver coins. I walked up to a peddler and said that I wanted to buy cherries.
He was carrying a load and asked me how much I wanted to buy. I gave him all the dime and said, "That's a lot."In fact, I had no idea how much I could buy.
When he heard this, his eyes opened wide, and he hurriedly said: Where does your old man (the colloquial language of Hubei people, meaning you) live?I'll pick it for you old man!
It turned out that I actually bought his entire load of cherries, so I had to eat them desperately, and my mouth was full of red juice, which became an out-and-out mouthful of cherries.
After staying for a day, my father led someone to pick us up. We crossed the river, changed to a charcoal cart, and headed straight for Enshi.
As the name suggests, a charcoal car is a means of transportation powered by water vapor and charcoal as fuel.Due to the lack of firepower, it is okay to walk on flat ground, but when it goes uphill, everyone has to get out of the car.Every time the charcoal cart roared and spewed out a large amount of smoke, it rushed forward for a while and then slid down again.The driver's two assistants each took a triangular wooden block, and when the car was sliding down, they hurriedly stuffed the wooden block under the rear wheels to block the retreat, and climbed up again after the car had enough of breathing.
Sometimes the road is too steep and the car can't go up. The driver will be ashamed and ask everyone to push it.Those who accompanied the car were all senior officials from Xingyuan in the west of Hubei at that time, and they all looked at each other when they heard the words.When the father saw it, he first rolled up his sleeves and pushed them away.Only then did everyone rush forward, and the car began to move forward slowly again.
This is just an insignificant little thing, but all the big things in the world are piled up by these little things.People always regard themselves as special, and they must enjoy their own share, otherwise it will be unfair and unfair.When a problem occurs and it is time to try to solve it, these people cross their hands and stand at a distance, thinking that it is someone else's responsibility and has nothing to do with him.The reason why his father is respected by others has something to do with his personal practice.
It may be that she was too tired on the road, or she was exhausted in Yichang, and my mother coughed up blood in the car.Since then, my physical condition has become weaker and weaker day by day, and even the smile on my face has become exhausted.
State affairs were not much better than my mother's illness. First the president stepped down, and the North and the South negotiated peace.Everyone knew that the general situation was over, and people often came to persuade my father to be a good man who knew the current affairs, and my father immediately jumped up and cursed, and his voice shook the roof tiles.
We live in the back of the courtyard, the yard is very big, and we planted some corn.Although my father strictly forbade it, I still went to the courtyard to pick corn and baked it in the kitchen whenever I had the opportunity.One day, my father told me to do my homework, and then I went to work.When the sound of him going out came, I immediately ran happily to the kitchen to eat grilled corn.
Just as he was eating vigorously, he suddenly heard a lion's roar: "Where's Bang Fu?"
I was so frightened that I dropped the corn and ran out in a hurry, just bumping into my father.Father was holding a civilized stick in his hand, with a copper sheath on the end of the stick. When he saw me, he couldn't help but raise the stick and hit me.Before I had time to escape, I had already received a few severe blows on my body, and the pain immediately hit my heart and lungs.
In a trance, there seemed to be a weak voice from the mother in the distance: Don't beat him to death!After hearing this, I subconsciously fell to the ground and pretended to be dead.
How could he know that his father would not take this kind of trick, and only heard: "I will kill you, you worthless bastard!"Then I suddenly felt a sharp pain behind my left ear, I didn't even have time to pretend, and I passed out without knowing what was going on.
Afterwards, everyone said that I was lucky, and my father's club hit me on the back of the head like a golf ball.The stick was broken in two, and the swelling on the back of my left ear and the head was as big as a fist, and it took more than three months for it to disappear.
In order to publicize the terror of the Communist Party, the school held a special evening party, and all the performances were performed by students.I don't know who came up with the idea, but I was assigned to play a rural woman oppressed by the communist army, and I had to sing and dance.
Of course I refused, my attitude was very firm, but in the end I still had to work for my mother to come forward: Son, what's wrong with singing?You must know that your father is a good official, he wants to make the people happy, so you can't ask him to sing.Why don't you share the labor on behalf of your father?
They want me to pretend to be a woman, and I won't do it!
What's wrong with women?Isn't mother a woman?Isn't Guanyin Bodhisattva also a woman?
But pretending to be a girl has to wear rouge, isn't that ridiculous?
Do what you have to do, don't worry about others.Mom will go that day, even if I show it to my mother, okay?
My mother said good things and bad things, so I had to bite the bullet and be awkward, like a big girl.After the performance, I dared not see anyone for several days.Li Mei performed a butterfly dance, which I did not see in the background.I heard that she jumped so pale, not to mention flying, that she could barely move in the end.
One day, suddenly someone rushed into the house in a hurry, shouting in panic: The Communist Party has crossed the river!The Communist Party has crossed the river!
The house was in chaos again, and my mother was lying on the bed, weeping, sighing, and said: We have to move again, my God!When will the day be moved?
I don't know where my father went. I just remember that Uncle Yao was taking care of everything, and the family was in a hurry.With snot and tears, my mother walked with difficulty, and took us two brothers and sisters to a military plane.First went to Wanxian, then took a boat to Chongqing, and lived in the office of the Hubei Provincial Bank.
At that time, Chongqing was also in a panic, and we were all warned not to move around at will.As long as I don't see my father, everything is novel and interesting to me. I look around all day long and keep busy.
The office is located on Xiaoshizi Street. There are street vendors on the street. I often go to buy popsicles and rent some doll books (comic pictures) to read.So I learned a lot of ballads, and sang along with others: Don't be afraid of the arhat who strikes iron, but be afraid of being sad on September 3!
Everyone was singing, but no one knew what it meant.In addition, there is another paragraph: Burn Chongqing, bloodbath Taiwan!I understand this passage, because when I sing it, my mother scolds me.
On September 3, 1949, at about two o'clock in the afternoon, I was playing in the living room.Suddenly, outside the window, there was a puff of black smoke in the direction of Chaotianmen, which shot straight into the sky.I can't forget the fire at the Hankou Alcohol Factory, which was also a puff of black smoke at the beginning.But no one in the office believed me. They all said that it was a ship berthed, and the ship must be very big.
At five o'clock, the original puff of smoke has turned into two puffs, and it has become very thick.Everyone in the office disappeared, leaving only three of us, mother and son.My mother became anxious, and she couldn't get through the phone, so she began to chant Guanyin Bodhisattva.
I ran outside the door to take a look, only to realize that the situation was serious.It turned out that there was not only a fire, but more than one fire. Everyone gathered on the street nervously, pointing and discussing.There are also many military police, armed with live ammunition, patrolling back and forth.
Little Cross Street adjoins Great Cross Street, which intersects with Bank Street.If Bank Street burns too, that's a big problem.According to the current situation, it is obvious that someone set the fire. The area around Chaotianmen is full of poor people's wooden houses, which are easy to burn.Bank Street is a high-rise of reinforced concrete. Although it is not easy to burn, once it burns, it is difficult to rescue.
At this time, there was a commotion in the crowd, and a thick smoke rose from the mid-air, and the flames could still be faintly seen expanding and contracting, as if it was near the Little Cross Street.I hurried home and hurriedly said to my mother:
Terrible, it's burning everywhere!
Although my mother was anxious, she said to me: What are you afraid of?Bodhisattva will naturally bless us.
Not only did the sky not darken as usual, but it became more and more red.Looking out from the window, the area around Chaotianmen was completely shrouded in raging firelight.Occasionally, the dark fog rolled up from the bottom, filled with a strange black purple.The flames, like a kite with a broken string, flew straight into the sky briskly, and the fire seemed to be coming to an end.
Just as people were full of expectations, suddenly, a group of brighter flashes, accompanied by earth-shattering explosion sounds, countless sparks that were as dense as a net of pearls, scattered and burst in all directions.Immediately, Tianxin broke another gap, the fire became more intense, and the fire became more intense.
Originally, the room was quiet, only my own heartbeat and my mother's murmured prayers could be heard.Suddenly, the noisy voices of people from Qianjie also squeezed in.I subconsciously ran to the gate, and my eyes turned red, and everyone was rushing to the ground.Some people hugged some things, some even pulled their children, and some even had disheveled clothes and disheveled hair.But all of them were panic-stricken, and they ran around indiscriminately on the streets that were glistening red and looking like purgatory.
There were boxes and cages of clothes everywhere on the ground. Someone fell, and the people behind jumped on it again.Especially the children, some were crying on the spot, and some were wandering around the street in a daze.For a moment, the sound of howling ghosts and gods filled the universe.
I was stunned by the purgatory-like scene in front of me. I don’t know when, my mother was standing behind me, and she kept chanting: Great Merciful and Great Compassionate Guanyin Bodhisattva, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva for saving suffering
When a policeman saw us, he kindly came over and said, Ma'am, why don't you run away?It was burning in every direction.
Where should I flee?Great Mercy and Great Compassion Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva
The policeman shook his head, helplessly, and disappeared into the flames alone.
I felt very hot, and what was even more uncomfortable was the choking smell of smoke, and my mind went blank.Then the spontaneous vitality came into play, and I stopped asking my mother and ran into the house.I didn't know where the strength came from, and I took out all the four pieces of luggage we had.
My mother stopped me full of pity, and she said: Son!If our mother and son were supposed to die here, would you be able to escape?
In a hurry, I burst out a sentence: If we don't deserve to die here, we can escape!
My mother looked at me calmly and said: I don't live long, but you are not short-lived. Don't worry, Bodhisattva will bless you.
Seeing my mother's peaceful face, I immediately calmed down.The issue of life and death was not thought of at that time, but was infected by the atmosphere in front of him, and unconsciously wanted to run away.Because of her belief in the Bodhisattva, my mother's ability to maintain peace of mind no matter how bad the situation was, has had an incomparable impact on me.
In good times, everyone can give full play to their strengths, but in adversity, they lose control when their minds are disturbed.Mother showed her own experience and led me out of danger time and time again.Before I knew it, I had picked up her calm demeanor that pulled me through time and time again.
Soon, there were bursts of chaotic car horns, and there was another chaos on the street.I saw large trucks carrying soldiers coming slowly one by one.Immediately, the crowd rushed to the side of the street like a tide, and the convoy pushed through the scattered cages and bumped towards the red burning canyon on the other side of Bank Street.
The streets immediately became active, and people's hopes were rekindled. Since the convoy can drive in, there must be a way to survive.One pass ten, ten pass one hundred, everyone rushed to the direction of the convoy to flee for their lives.
In the last car, I saw the people in the office and immediately shouted happily.As soon as the car stopped, several soldiers jumped out and surrounded the car with guns, not allowing others to come over.
The staff in the office hurriedly said to his mother: Madam, time is running out, we are ordered to move the inventory, you should get in the car first!
They carried out many heavy small boxes from the warehouse, and it was said that they were full of silver dollars.When the car was full, the soldiers with guns sat on the roof or climbed beside the car cautiously.Only then did the car slowly shuttle through some unknown streets and alleys, honking its horn heavily, fighting for a way out of the crowd.
We seem to be living in a gigantic furnace, with flames shining everywhere, only Tianxin is a black hole filled with thick smoke.At first glance, there was nowhere to go. Fortunately, there were some military police guarding the intersection at the corner. The car sometimes turned to the place where the fire was most intense, and sometimes turned to the direction of the backfire. It kept going around and gradually moved away from the center of the fire.
From the conversation between my mother and the office staff, I learned the whole picture of the incident.It turned out that this was the Communist Party's psychological attack strategy. They planned to burn down the last base of the Nationalist Government. The slogan was: Burn Chongqing and wash Taiwan with blood.The main purpose is to prevent people from fleeing to Taiwan, which is about to be bloodbathed, by burning Chongqing this time.
So the fire was all premeditated, with dozens of arson incidents across the city.There are seven places that have successfully started a prairie fire, first starting from the wooden house at Chaotianmen, along the mountain, from the bottom of the mountain to the top of the mountain, and the final destination is the financial center such as Bank Street near my home.
The national government failed to understand the matter first, and the matter was rushed, and it was in a hurry.The most powerful thing is the strict arrangement of the Communist Party. Many households have already prepared gasoline, alcohol and other flammable materials.Just wait for an order, and immediately ignite and explode.What was even more ruthless was the fire scene at Chaotianmen, just to trap all firetrucks in Chongqing.
When fire engines arrived, their underground crews were called out.Some cut water pipes, others punctured tires, doing everything possible to prevent firefighting operations.After the water source is exhausted, the circuit of the firetruck is blocked to make it difficult to fly.Then at night, when the firefighting system was completely paralyzed, the whole city was set on fire, and there was no tile left in Chongqing.
What the Communist Party did not expect was that the command of the fire brigades in various parts of Chongqing was not unified, and each had their own policies.When the Chaotianmen fire broke out, not many fire trucks arrived, so the fire in other places could be controlled.When the fire broke out at the crossroads, the national government was able to mobilize all its forces to open up a way out and rescue the stocks in the bank.
During the conversation, everyone was filled with emotion. President Shi Xian had already withdrawn his main forces to Taiwan, and the people in Chongqing were in disarray. Everyone was looking forward to the arrival of the communist army.If this fire is not set off, the people will welcome liberation with joy.After experiencing this cruel catastrophe, although it has achieved the goal of preventing some dissidents from fleeing to Taiwan.But on the other hand, not to mention the damage to the city appearance, the loss of innocent people's lives and property and the scars on the hearts of the people may never be repaired.
Later, we moved to a place called Huangjiaoao on the south bank of Chongqing.The embers in Chongqing have not yet been extinguished, and the green smoke is curling up. One third of it has become scorched earth, and it is pitch black from a distance.It is reported that about 500,000 people have lost their homes, and the wailing and wailing of the victims can be heard faintly across the river.
Our home is on a small hillside. In fact, there are hills everywhere, with winding paths.Since there is no water and electricity, the oil lamps are lit and the mountain springs are drunk, which is not a special taste for me.
The person carrying water for us was a young man surnamed Feng, about my age, who lived at the foot of the hill opposite our house.I remember someone once mentioned to my mother that his father was a Communist Party member and told us not to use him.My mother didn't think so, but was more generous to him, and often asked me to send some food and snacks to his house.
I saw his father only once, in their gloomy cabin.At first I was a little scared, because in people's legends, the Communist Party is a devil who kills people without blinking an eye.But I couldn't help being curious, relying on making friends with his son, I believed that it was impossible for him to eat me.
It was a slender old man who didn't look special at all. Feng introduced me and said: Dad, this is Master Zhu.
He just hummed and asked me: Is your father Zhu Huaibing?
I was a little uneasy, so I responded in a low voice.
He immediately said: "Go and play."
Feeling relieved, I hurriedly pulled Feng out. I couldn't bear it for a while, so I asked him: People say your father is a Communist Party, do you know that?
He asked me strangely: What is the Communist Party?
I can't explain it because I don't know it myself.
There is an elementary school here. As soon as I entered the school, I secretly fell in love with a thick-eyed, long-haired girl named Xin Jubi who lived behind the mountain of Feng's family.
Feng Tiantian carried water for others and did not study.One day, after Feng finished carrying water, I invited him to go for a walk in the mountains.Walking to the door of Xin's house, I was a little disappointed not to see her.But he was unwilling to do so, just walked over, and then found a reason to come back to have a look.
Feng saw something strange in it, and asked me: What are you doing?Walking around, people will treat us as thieves!
I was so ashamed that I had no choice but to tell him the truth.
He said: This is simple, which one is it?I'll help you call her over.
I hurriedly said: Don't call her here, I just want to take a look at her from a distance.
Feng smiled contemptuously, and said: You are really the young master, I just want to take a look from a distance!
I casually pointed to a dilapidated hut: that was the one.
As soon as he saw it, he said, "Listen to me, you can't associate with her."
Why?I was confused by him.
Because her family is a Communist Party.he said for sure.
how do you know?
I asked daddy.He explained: My dad said that all poor people are communists.
One night, my father reappeared, his face never looking good, but this time it was even more gloomy.He talked with his mother behind closed doors for a long time, then came out, stroked his sister's head, and glanced at me again, before disappearing into the darkness.
The mother was crying in the room, coughing up another pot of blood, and her breath was like a gossamer.Everyone panicked and surrounded their mother one by one, at a loss.
After a while, my mother calmed down, shed tears, and said: We will never see Dad again before I said this, and my mother couldn't help crying again, stopped for a while, and said: He wants to go with Hu Zongnan fight as a guerrilla.The Communist Party has reached Qijiang, and we have to flee again. Yao Bobo will come to pick us up tomorrow.The luggage left in Enshi last time has also been transported to Chongqing.
Ma'am, are you leaving?the old lady asked.
Mother took a breath and nodded.
Where are you going?The old lady asked again.
When the mother heard it, she cried sadly again, and kept shaking her head in silence.
In the evening, my mother called my sister and me into the room, took out two small pieces of gold, and with tears in her eyes, said solemnly:
Your father never asked for money, so I managed to save these two taels of gold.Now that we have to start fleeing again, it is very likely that you will get lost, and I am even more afraid that my body will not be able to sustain it.In case of such a day, you are young and have no relatives, so I will sew these two taels of gold into your collars for you. If it is not a last resort, don't take it out. I'm sorry for you.I can't take care of you when you grow up and talk, the mother and son cry together.
In the end, my mother barely held back her tears, carefully took off the collars of our cotton coats, and hid the gold in the interlayer.And said to me: You should be sensible, don't blame your father, he has his responsibility, and your responsibility in the future is to take care of your sister.I still have fifty cash here, if I die, you can use it.
The next day, my mother told me to go to school to go through the transfer procedures.This is the first time I do it by myself, and I know very well that everything will depend on myself in the future.When I arrived at the school, I told the teacher that I wanted to transfer to another school. The teacher didn't ask any questions, and immediately took me to the office and filled out the form for me and my sister, leaving only the name column blank.
Finally, the teacher asked me: What name do you want to change?
I was stunned, not sure why I had to change my name.
Your father is very famous, the Communist Party will definitely not spare you, it is best to change your name.
After thinking about it, I thought of Su Wu who was herding sheep in Beihai, so I said: Then my name is Zhu Wu.
The teacher filled it in and asked, "Where's your sister?"
Since there is Wu, the younger sister is called Wen, isn't it both civil and military?I'm very proud of the name I chose.
When he got home, his mother had already got into the sedan chair, and Uncle Yao was waiting impatiently, rubbing his ears and cheeks.As soon as I saw me, I didn't have time to say anything, and hurriedly urged everyone to leave.
At this time, all the Yangtze River ferries were taken over by the army, and all ships, large and small, were requisitioned.When Yao Bobo came, he rented a small boat in Chongqing, and it was reserved for us only after being granted by the superior.
The riverside is densely packed with soldiers, all in ragged clothes and looking tired.Some sat on the ground, while others simply fell asleep.The banks of the Yangtze River are vast and there are few ships. It seems that it will take at least ten and a half months for all these troops to cross the river.
Therefore, when Uncle Yao passed through the troops with the charter document, there were so many envious looks from both sides, I really thought our ferry must be very proud.
Unexpectedly, it was a small raft, which barely accommodated our family, and the draft of the hull almost reached the side of the ship.On this day, the Yangtze River was very windy and turbulent, and the boat bumped from left to right, up and down.We couldn't see anything except the wave after wave. In a drowsy state, an inexplicable fear of the future came over my heart.
At only twelve years old, he has experienced natural and man-made disasters, life and death.I am always on the move, always moving, constantly adapting to the new environment.Although I don't know what kind of life there is other than this, I began to envy the peaceful life of the Feng family.It would be great if I could live like that, pick and choose water, and don't even have to read books.
When we landed, Mother Yao, Aizhu, and Lu Qingyou, a long-term worker with us for many years, all came to welcome us.When the mother saw them, she was sad again, and with the hard work on the way, she was so weak that she could hardly move.
這時姚伯伯把我當做大人，大家一起商量何去何從。
姚伯伯說：懷公交待省銀行辦事處留了一輛卡車，叫我們回漢口去，可是姚伯伯轉過頭去對母親說：以妳目前身體狀況，恐怕
母親嘆口氣說：都是我連累了你們。
姚伯伯忙說：我的看法是，先去北培，等妳身體好一點再說。
母親知道別無選擇，含淚不語，我們走到辦事處前，行李已經裝在車上。大大小小數十件，多半是父親最珍貴的書籍，剛剛由家人呂慶友老遠從恩施押運來的。
這時大約是下午兩三點鐘，重慶街上冷冷清清，與我數月前所見真有天壤之別。而且還有種奇怪的聲音，彷彿是遠處的雷鳴，轟轟不絕。
我問姚伯伯，他緊張地說：是共產黨的大炮聲，大概明後天他們就要到了，你看重慶的人幾乎都逃光了！
我們上了車，可是司機卻不在，到處找不著。呂慶友急了，只好猛按喇叭，寂靜的街道上，迴音激盪，顯得非常的刺耳。
過了一會，突然見到街頭那端跑來十多個人，母親緊緊地把我拉住，姚伯伯則站在車前頭仔細觀察。等他們跑近了，才看出都是辦事處的熟人，大家不禁鬆了口氣。
姚伯伯立刻迎了上去，誰知還談不到幾句，雙方竟然爭執起來，聲調也逐漸提高。只聽姚伯伯氣憤地說：懷公待你們不薄，把你們由湖北帶出來，不論如何，做人也該有點天良！
其中有個人理直氣壯地答道：什麼天良？我們也是人，也有權逃命！這部車子是辦事處的，我們當然優先！
那邊還在爭吵不休，有幾個人逕自繞過來，叉著腰毫不客氣地對母親說：你們下去，我們要用車子。
母親氣得發抖，說：我不下去，這是懷公留給我們的！
什麼懷公不懷公？國民黨都倒了，你們還神氣什麼？
姚媽媽知道再鬧下去吃虧更大，便對母親說：我們就先下去，找到處長再說。
姚伯伯見情形不對，急急地趕了過來說：車子還是讓給他們好，我們另外再想辦法。
眼睜睜地看到以前對我們必恭必敬的職員，現在竟變得如此蠻橫無理，我心中又氣又恨。但是形勢比人強，在這生死關頭，憑我們幾個老弱婦孺，又能把他們怎樣？要是我有一身武功，或者能呼風喚雨、撒豆成兵！snort!我要把他們一個一個捏死，把他們打入十八層地獄，叫他們永世不能翻身
等我白日夢做完，車子早開走了。母親斜躺在路旁，臉色蒼白，連聲乾咳不止。所有的箱子行李散落一地，呂慶友正忙著收拾。
我第一次產生了未能盡責的感受，為什麼當時我沒有挺身而出呢？所謂的英雄好漢，絕不是貪生怕事之徒、只能做白日夢啊！
姚伯伯四出奔走，想盡了辦法。可是那時重慶已是死城一座，叫天不應，找人無著，急得真似熱鍋上的螞蟻。反倒是母親冷靜地唸著經，一面安慰姚媽媽，說菩薩會保佑好人，萬事都已經由上天安排好了。
天色漸漸晚了，姚伯伯已經束手無策，目前唯一的希望是找一處能暫避風寒的地方。說不得，只好把辦事處的大門打破，至少可以渡過今夜。
辦事處外面有座鐵門，上了一個大銅鎖，呂慶友用盡了全力，也撼動不了分寸。正在忙時，街頭有一部黑色轎車悠閒地慢慢開了過來。
姚伯伯一見，趕忙迎了上去。
開車的司機一見到姚伯伯，立刻伸出頭來，高興地大叫：姚秘書，您怎麼還沒有走啊？
姚伯伯一時呆住了，不知該怎麼回答，那司機又說：您老不記得我了，我是陳局長的司機，小陳。
對了，對了，我真是老糊塗了！陳局長呢？我正要找他。
早都走了，公館裡只留下我一個人和這部車子。
real?那好極了，能不能請你幫個忙？
What's wrong with this?小陳痛快地說：我每天閒得發慌，您老請吩咐吧。
姚伯伯指著母親說：朱懷公你還記得吧？這位是懷公的夫人，本來懷公留了部大卡車給我們，可是被人搶走了，現在
小陳立刻說：這是小問題，您說吧，您要上哪裡？
姚伯伯猶豫了一下，說：北培。
北培？小陳吃了一驚，猶豫地說：只要在重慶市內，去哪裡都不成問題，可是北培實在太遠了。
有什麼分別呢？陳局長一時不可能回來，你也要生活呀！不如你送我們去北培，我給你一兩金子，總比坐在家裡好。
小陳考慮了一會，慨然說：行，聽您的！
那車平常連司機只能坐五個人，呂慶友要押運行李，不能同行。我們母子三人，加上姚伯伯夫婦及愛珠，還勉強擠得下。只是母親要平躺，我們拿了兩個箱子，在後座擱腳的空處鋪得與座椅等齊，倒有點像張床。
小陳考慮得很週到，為了怕路上買不到汽油，弄了好多桶放在行李箱中。忙到動身時刻，天色已經黑了。
重慶市內空空洞洞的，宛似鬼域。一出了城，景象立刻改觀。先是看到稀稀落落，三五成群的人，有的背著家當，有的扶老攜幼，宛如細細涓流，朝著同一方向走。再下去，人群越聚越多，漸漸地，像是洪水一般，匯為潮湧。但是汽車卻不很多，間或看到幾輛，也都陷入人海中。
小陳一面猛按喇叭，一面緩緩地往前擠開一條路來。
平常開車到青木關，大約只需二十分鐘的路程。這時走了四五個小時，已經是三更半夜了，路上人車擁成一團，卻還不知離青木關有多遠。
又挨了一陣子，只見路旁兩側的人群不斷地向前移動。車隊反而一部緊接一部，前燈照著尾燈，大家都動彈不得。遠遠望去，活像一條咆哮的火龍，癱瘓在黑暗的大地上。
小陳開始有點不耐煩，便走下車去，活動一下筋骨。過了一會，他懊惱地回來說：看樣子青木關到不了啦，共產黨故意開些爛車子來，把路給堵死了。
我們後面早已接上了長長的尾巴，這裡又沒有岔路可走，真是進退兩難。姚伯伯急得抓耳撓腮，母親不住地唸觀音菩薩，只有妹妹和愛珠擠在一堆，睡得香甜。
等我打了個小盹，醒過來時，車子又在緩緩前行。果然路邊的田埂上有很多東倒西歪的車輛，有的還四輪朝天，看來都是被人推過去的。
路邊除了逃難的老百姓以外，也有不少軍人。他們多半披著破舊污穢的軍服，肩上倒掛著步鎗，情況和難民相差不多，個個面露疲倦之色，步履維艱地往前挨著。
才走了沒多久，車隊又停止不前，小陳再去打聽，這次的消息更糟。原來軍隊在前面設下關卡，攔下所有經過的民用車輛，一律充公。
姚伯伯生氣的說：是誰的部隊，簡直無法無天。
小陳意味深長地說：要是有法有天，就不會打敗仗囉！
姚伯伯突然想到：我身上還有重慶市長的公文，不知道管不管用？
您有沒有槍？有槍一定管用，前面好幾部車上都有，有的還是機關槍哩！
果然，走了一段路，幾個軍人把我們攔了下來。姚伯伯拿出公文說：我們有公事，再說車子這麼小，你們拿去也沒用。
那幾個人商量了一下，向姚伯伯說：老鄉，我們也不為難你。但有兩個兄弟走不動了，借你們車頂坐一下，過了青木關就放他們下來，你說怎樣？
姚伯伯連忙滿口答應，想不到這一來，那兩個軍人反而成了我們的護身符，一路上再也沒人找我們的麻煩。
又走了一程，姚伯伯突然指著路邊說：那些不是搶我們車子的人嗎？
一點也不錯，十幾個男男女女，擠在難民叢中。那一副狼狽不堪的模樣，真是又可恨又可憐，顯然他們的車子被充公了。天下事真是禍福難測，如果先前沒有被趕下車，現在走在路上的就是我們了。以母親的病況，那種慘狀實在不能想像。
直到天上泛起了絲絲曙光，車子才開到青木關，這時路上人車已很稀少。放下那兩個軍人後，小陳這才舒了口氣，踏足油門，向前風馳疾駛。
剛走了一段，小陳就覺得不對勁，每當車要向左轉彎時，車身下就咯咯作響。
小陳停車一檢查，又帶來一個壞消息：鋼板斷了，一定是剛才超載，又走走停停，震壞的。
還能開嗎？姚伯伯問。
到北培還可以，但北培沒有修車的地方，去了車就報廢了。
車子一定要修，你知道那裡有修車的地方？
往成都的方向有幾個大站，我曾經去過，但這一去一回，就得多擔擱一天。
姚伯伯嘆口氣說：一天算不了什麼，修車要緊。
一路上，小陳小心翼翼的開著，還算很順利。走了半天，我們只看到二部裝甲車，與我們反向而行，其他倒是毫無異狀。
到了一個相當大的鎮上，我們先下來休息，小陳則去修車。在一個小舖子裡，姚伯伯買了幾碗麵，店家不收法幣和金元券，堅持要用現洋（銀元），而且是一塊錢一碗。我對金錢沒有概念，但與上次在巴東時，幾個銀角子就買來一擔櫻桃相比，其分別也就可想而知了。
由於已經餓了很久，這碗麵之香，是我有生以來第一次體會到。雖然饞得要命，但我知道我們總共只有五十塊現洋，看看大人們，連碗底都舐乾淨了，當然不敢再要。
店家問我們去哪裡，姚伯伯說要去北培。
店家說：老哥去不成囉，當兵的把橋都炸啦！
姚伯伯不相信，說：瞎說！我們剛從那邊過來的。
老哥，你剛才過來，一定看到兩部怪車子囉，那是去炸橋的！聽說共產黨已經過長江了，我真不懂，這麼丁點小橋炸了有啥子用？
小陳修車回來也証實了這件事，大家商量之下，北培既然去不成，就只有去成都了。母親雖然捨不得那些行李，但是說不定能在成都找到父親，心情反倒開朗很多。
出了鎮，直到成都，路上平靜得不像是在戰爭的邊緣，沒見到幾個軍人，也見不到作戰工事。農民照常耕作，商人一樣營生。只是每當我們問起共產黨的動靜，大家都聳聳肩，好像漠不關心。但是有一點卻如同冒在水面的冰山，可以反映出人心的消長。不管我們買什麼，商家一律只收現洋，政府發行的紙鈔好像廢紙一般。
我在車上發現了幾本小說，是還珠樓主著的《武當七女》、《北海屠龍》等。這是我陷迷於仙、佛、鬼、怪、妖、魔奇異世界的開端，幻境與現實交錯，人可以隨時逃遁到主觀的時空裡，自得其樂。
有一天傍晚，我剛剛神遊青冥歸來，才發覺已經到了成都。眼前一片低矮的平房，絲毫沒有大都會的氣派。而且軍警密佈，三步一哨，十步一崗。市容很是蕭條，家家戶戶重門深掩，平靜中隱藏兵戎的殺氣。
不記得母親與姚伯伯是怎麼商量的，只知道迷迷糊糊中，姚伯伯帶著我，在成都的大街小巷裡穿梭來去。姚伯伯拿著一張寫滿地址的字條，我們逐一叩門，詢問父親的下落。結果不是無人應門，便是好不容易出來個人，卻是一問三不知。
我肚子又餓，雙腳也痠痛難忍。這樣過了不知多久，在一排竹籬前，一位老先生探出半個身子。姚伯伯輕聲問了他幾句話，他一直搖頭不語，卻仔細地打量著我。
姚伯伯立刻把我拉到他面前，說：您總認得他吧！他是懷公的次公子。
那老先生半響沒作聲，突然問我：你媽媽呢？
媽媽睡在車上，沒有來。我照實回答。
她為什麼不來呢？
因為她有肺病，身體不好。
老先生點點頭，對姚伯伯說：我三年前見過他，那時他還小，只是在這個關頭，我必須謹慎些。他小心地四下張望了一陣，然後悄悄地說：也真巧，懷公今天下午剛來給我辭行，你們早來一天，我還真不知道他來成都了，如果你們來晚些，怕也見不到他了
姚伯伯急問道：懷公真要去打游擊了？
不是，老先生說：胡宗南奉命死守成都，懷公則要隨行政院撤退到香港，大概是明天的飛機只是我沒有想到要問他，不知道他住哪裡？不過他曾經提到要去看幾個人，那些人我都認識，我把地址抄給你，趕快去找。還有，現在懷公名列湖北頭號戰犯，不是我見過邦復，我絕不會告訴你他的行蹤，你千萬小心點。
雖然地址在手，有了下落，不幸這時兵慌馬亂，人人自危。我們找到一處時，已是深更半夜，一片岑寂。敲門之聲驚徹四鄰，只聽見犬吠之聲遠近呼應，卻未見到一個人影。我把臉貼近門縫，看到屋內分明有燭火晃動，但就是沒人應門。
姚伯伯急得跳腳，又換一家，情景依然。
回去見了母親，大家相對無言。
良久，母親戚然說：或許這是天意吧，算了，大家都辛苦了，有沒有地方可以吃點東西？
小陳知道附近有個夜市，我們便開車過去。偌大的成都靜悄悄的，彷彿是個空城。我們擔心連夜市都歇業了，那才悽慘。
還好，有幾家店門還開著，只是客人不多。我們剛剛走進一家，姚伯伯竟然興奮地大聲嚷叫起來：好呀！你們都在這裡！懷公呢？
裡面坐著的幾個人，我彷彿認識。他們聽見叫聲，吃了一驚，一看是姚伯伯，趕忙把他一把拉過去，連使眼色，悄悄問：懷公夫人呢？
來了，來了，睡在車上。姚伯伯忍不住老淚縱橫，總算放下心來。
父親一見到我們，不但毫無喜色，反而暴跳如雷，大罵姚伯伯不負責任。姚伯伯靜靜地等父親罵完了，才細細地把前因後果敘述了一遍。
父親嘆口氣說：這叫我怎麼辦？整個行政院有好幾百個人，撤退的飛機只有四架。票都已經分好了，明天上午就要起飛，就算我是行政院長也沒有法子呀！
母親在一旁躺著，傷感地說：不要擔心，我們先在這裡休息幾天再說，你的那些書還在北培，我也不放心。等我身體好一點，我們就回北培去。
nonsense!你們先休息，我看看有什麼辦法！
第二天一早，父親弄到了一張票。那是因為有人臨時變卦，到行政院退票，正好被父親碰上。但是問題仍然沒有解決，因為按照規定，不論大人、小孩，每人一票。據說撤退所用的是飛虎航空公司的軍機，由外國人負責檢查，只認票不認人。
大家建議父親和母親先走，但母親堅持說，要走我們母子三人都走，要留都留。七嘴八舌吵個不停，最後父親發火了，大喝：誰都不許吵！先到機場再說！
那時的機場只是一片黃土平地，上面散佈一些亂草和幾間機棚。沿途軍警嚴密戒備，機場上則是冠蓋雲集，無一不是當時各地各界的軍政大員。
到了機場，父親和他的朋友立刻分頭行事，到處打點。首先傳到的好消息是飛機誤點，要延到晚上，正好給父親賺到了寶貴的半天時光。最後，大概花了不少錢，得到驗票人員的首肯，我和妹妹可以不用票而混上飛機。
這是行政院最後一次撤退，一共有四班飛機。父親的朋友王洸先生是前航務局長，他有三張票，乘第二班飛機，帶著兩個和我差不多大的孩子，他答應帶我闖關。父母親則是第四班，那時應是深夜，說不定妹妹也可以混過。
事到如今，除了委諸天意外，別無良策。母親不再說話，只是專心唸佛。連我也知道事態的嚴重，開始在心中默默唸著大慈大悲觀世音菩薩，救苦救難觀世音菩薩。
好像是晚上八點鐘，第二班飛機到了，大家排著隊，王先生緊拉著我的手。父親和母親站在遠遠的人群中，我的心中很平靜。因為有觀世音菩薩保佑，我不認為這是骨肉分離的關頭，只覺得眼前的一切陌生而又遙遠。
隊伍逐漸往前移，我的心開始猛烈地跳動，我們踏上了獨木橋似的跳板，四個人，一大三小。我看到昏暗的機艙門口站著好幾個人，每收一張票，放一個人。
我這才想起離開了母親，要飛向一個遙遠而不知名的地方。看看緊牽著我手的王伯伯，心中突然萬念雜陳。如果我走不成，還可以陪著母親，萬一妹妹上不了飛機，那時母親會怎麼樣？隨妹妹留在成都？而我卻要跟著父親？再不然把妹妹一個人丟下，可能嗎？
我知道菩薩會保佑，但是保佑誰呢？是不是連妹妹也在內？心中還在胡思亂想，人已到了機門。突然門口一陣騷亂，似乎有人在找什麼。我們趁亂走進機艙，耳中只聽到有人叫著：四個人，只有三張票。
另外有人叫道：有一張票在我這裡！一個外國人想過來看，而後面的人又擁了上來。
王伯伯忙把我拉近身邊，掩護著我，一起擠到飛機艙尾。這原是一架軍機，容量並不大，為了增加載運的人數，所有的坐椅都被拆除了。我們就地一倒，王伯伯立刻把我藏在身後，再用毯子蓋了起來。
到香港啟德機場時，已是第二天早上。下了飛機，王伯伯交待我不要亂跑，好好在候機室裡等候父母，說完，他們就走了。
我一生奇特的行逕，都與這些遭遇有著不可分的關係。不過十多天的時間，我經歷了各種不同的境況，由轟轟隆隆的炮火聲中，逃！escape!escape!escape!冒著骨肉分離的風險，從一個未知的時空，又逃向另一個。十二歲的我，就體驗了尚無法充分瞭解的巧合奇遇，一個事件緊扣著另一個事件，分毫之差都足以令我的未來行向不同的軌道。
我試著理解所發生的各種事件，可是那些感受如同夢境一般，很陌生，卻又那麼真確。任何事態的演變都巧妙得不可思議，以常理而論，這些巧合只能出現在三流的小說中。除非是以母親一再強調的菩薩會保佑這句話來理解，才能圓滿地解釋一切。
這些事件的經歷，對我有很大的助益。以致後來遇到任何打擊我都認為是理所當然，常能保持平靜的心態，對原則總是堅持到底。但在另一方面，又使我虔信命運，以為在菩薩庇佑之下，不必積極去爭取或追求世間的一切，最後終於走上一條與眾不同的道路。
我記得非常清楚，那是一九四九年，啟德機場只有一個候機室，來往的班機也很少。我一個人呆呆傻傻地，在四周全是玻璃窗的大廳中等著。我不斷地自問，父母親會不會來呢？如果不來，該怎麼辦呢？我想到母親縫在衣領中的金塊，用手摸摸，那堅實的感覺令我稍感安慰，可是這又能買幾碗麵？讓我活幾天呢？
我不敢再想下去，乾脆專心地唸起觀世音菩薩來。
果然上天垂佑，到了下午