Chapter 5 Four, light snow

Fiction, Teacher's Way, Early Spring, Studies While everyone was celebrating Sister Min, I fell into the abyss of despair.Sure enough, he failed in English in the second semester of the first grade, and he failed the make-up exam, so he was sentenced to repeat to Class 35. I knew my father's views on repeating grades, and it was not difficult to imagine the tragic fate I was about to face.Why did the Bodhisattva no longer bless him?Why did my mother's spirit in heaven abandon me?What bad thing did I do?Or is my sincerity not enough, so that God still wants to test me? Anyway, the fight is a deal, and if it can be delayed for a day, I decided not to tell my father, and pretended that everything was as usual.Besides, I have a hopeful faith in the Bodhisattva, and until now, only the Bodhisattva in the sky can give me a helping hand.Apart from burning incense and praying in the morning and evening, prostrating more often, and waiting for a miracle to appear, I don't know of any other way.

After school started, I reported to Class No. 35. I saw my classmates in the same class marching towards the second grade, but I fell behind, and I was half short.The annoyance and shame in my heart are only clear to me. New environment, new classmates, after registering and assigning seats, I still don't want to accept the facts.How could it be possible to repeat a grade?How many difficulties have been resolved in the past, but this time it is only for one subject of English, how can it be so serious?I don't believe it, it must be that the Bodhisattva is dissatisfied with me. I don't usually recite sutras, but I hug the Buddha's feet when I am in a hurry. Of course, the Bodhisattva will be angry.

By the way, the belief must be pious, like a mother, even life and death are disregarded.How can you lose your confidence because of this little thing?No hurries?Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva who saves suffering!The Bodhisattva will definitely bless you, I remind myself from time to time, and I can't stop thinking silently in my heart. After attending the class for a week, my heart was as still as water, and I recited the Great Merciful and Great Compassionate Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva for a whole week.In this way, at noon on a sunny day, I suddenly heard the radio: Zhu Bangfu is coming to the Academic Affairs Office!

Without even thinking about it, I knew it was time for me to go back to Class 32. Walking into the Academic Affairs Office, a teacher asked me: Would you like to go back to the original class? willing.I was as calm as an old monk in meditation, taking this great news for granted.After all, this is the result of my sincere chanting day and night. Then you go to Class 32 to report.A slap can't be slapped, and the teacher said lightly. Back in the original class, the instructor Xiao Huikai was waiting for me, and said to me: Everyone’s seats have been arranged, I can’t rearrange them for you, would you like to sit in the back?

I am not tall, and I used to sit in number 18, but now I am assigned to number 49.It's not bad, even entering the 30th level, there is a big guy in front, and the barrier is natural. At that time, most of the teachers in the High School Attached to Normal University were officials who had retreated with the government and had no teaching experience.During class, they rarely care what the students are doing.As long as I shrink my neck, it's like I'm not in the classroom.The only disadvantage is that Ma Xiangjun, the patron saint in my mind, sits in the seventh position, far away and blocked by high mountains.For a period of time, I couldn't find a trace of her beauty in my memory.

Although the Bodhisattva blessed me not to repeat a grade, I had already bought the textbooks when I registered. Now that I am promoted to the second grade of junior high school, there are no textbooks for the second grade.I didn't know where to buy it, and I didn't have any money with me. I wanted to ask my father for it, but I couldn't find a reason.Of course I can't tell the truth, any other reasons I can make up will be exchanged for a severe beating. I am very sensible, and I can no longer ask Bodhisattvas. I have to figure out such trivial matters by myself. We were considered a big family in our hometown, but not many people came to Taiwan, only Xinghuan, Zhixue, Fengtang and Fengwang.So I had the cheek to ask them for help, saying that my schoolbag was lost, and I dared not let my father know.

At that time, their income was meager, and a few people pieced together, and finally squeezed out more than ten yuan.At that time, ten yuan was already an astronomical figure for me, but a new book cost more than four yuan, and I could only buy two and a half copies in total. Someone suggested that I go to a used bookstore to try it out, and there happened to be a Huahua Bookstore in the back street of my house.I went in and saw that the bookshelves were full of books, but they were all martial arts novels. I told the shopkeeper that I wanted to buy old textbooks, and the shopkeeper said: What are you buying textbooks for?Any of my novels here are better than textbooks.

I only have ten dollars.I lowered my voice and said. I remember reading novels when I was a child, which brought many wonderful feelings.I have already read everything that can be read on my father's bookshelf. I can't imagine that there are so many novels in the world, and I am envious. ten bucks?Give me ten yuan, and you can read as many books as you can for a month! This temptation is too great, anyway, Bodhisattva will bless me, regardless of textbooks or not, read novels first. Throughout the semester, I was completely obsessed with the illusory world of martial arts. During class, I used the Wangwu Mountain in front of me to block the teacher's sight. When I got home, I hid in air-raid shelters, toilets, kitchens, beds, and any place my father could not see.I was so dazed seeing it that everything in the world was blank except for the plot in the novel.

From reading martial arts novels, I discovered my extraordinary appreciation.I can read good works more than a dozen times, and I can stop reading bad ones.For the so-called good and bad, I can clearly analyze in an orderly manner.Also, I tend to argue with adults in bookstores and leave them speechless. First of all, I appreciate Wang Dulu's chivalry, his writing is delicate and tragic.He uses martial arts as the background, but what he actually expresses is the love of his sons and daughters. It is heart-wrenching to read, and he shed tears of sympathy for the people in the book.He finished reading all his books in one go, and re-read the whole series of "The Crane Startled Kunlun", "The Sword and the Gold Hairpin", "The Sword Qi and Pearl Light", "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and "Iron Rider Silver Vase" many times.

Among them, what fascinates me the most is the desert scenery in Xinjiang described in the book "Iron Rider Silver Vase", the boundless rolling yellow sand, and the galloping and howling horses of the Western Regions.In addition, the presence of tender, cheerful and generous girls from different races has escaped the boring and unbearable reality, which makes me fascinated.Unexpectedly, this kind of yearning finally decided the fate of my life. The second thing that caught my attention was Zheng Zhengyin, who was said to have been the president of the Martial Arts Association back then.He focuses on martial arts, chivalry in the rivers and lakes, and anecdotes from gangsters, etc., and he writes everything in detail.In particular, his descriptions of the internal and external kung fu and martial arts moves of various schools can be used as teaching materials for martial arts.

However, the person who influenced me the most was the Xian Xia from the Lord of Returning Pearl.It was his boundless fantasy that triggered my fantasy.It is also his vast masterpiece that drives me forward bravely, yearning for the world of literature.It is his description of the realm of immortals and Buddhas that fascinated me and planted the factors for my enlightenment. His writing is jerky and cumbersome, and his stories are so long and frequent that it is hard to bear.But if you study in depth, there are about two hundred volumes of his works, and each volume is about 200,000 words.For ordinary people, it is almost impossible to write tens of millions of words without stopping in just a few years.What's more, its content ranges from gods, Tao, immortals, and Buddhas to demons, devils, ghosts, monsters, and even spirits, spirits, ghosts, and xuan. What is particularly breathtaking is the thousands of years of time stated in the book, and the areas involved are all over the earth and the void.There are as many as a thousand flesh-and-blood characters, who can shuttle and connect in time and space, forming a realistic and wonderful world. It is said that when his book was popular, many young people in the mainland ran away from home, seeking immortality and Taoism.It is enough to prove that his talent is extraordinary and his influence is far-reaching.From the point of view of art, there is no one who is equal in ancient and modern China and abroad. The owner of Huanzhu is called Li Shoumin, a native of Sichuan, who once served as a county magistrate. He is fond of traveling and has traveled all over the famous mountains and rivers in China.After the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, Shushan swordsman was published in a Shanghai newspaper, which caused a sensation immediately.Later, several newspapers called for his serialization at the same time. He couldn't handle it, so he had to lie on the opium couch, smoking opium and dictating.On the side, there is a special person dictating, and one newspaper office has finished dealing with it, and then tells another story to the second newspaper office. If the legend is true, then this kind of unrivaled wizard is really ruined.If he can concentrate and concentrate on writing, there will be immortal masterpieces handed down from generation to generation. In this way, if I were in mainland China, I must also go to visit Taoism as a monk.In addition to longing for a world where good and evil are clearly distinguished, the rich imagination and unique organizational structure of Master Zhu also created a sense of reality that can be justified.I often sit on the stone steps at the gate, staring blankly at the sky.I dream that one day, a golden sword light will break through the clouds and take me to the fairy mountain to escape from the sea of ​​suffering in the world forever. Some people say that martial arts novels corrupt people's hearts and do great harm to young people, but I don't think so.A pluralistic society already needs the nourishment of diversity. The result of single thinking will make it difficult to cope with future changes. Nothing in the world is absolute, and no one is perfect.People will have an all-round understanding only by exploring various aspects of development.In particular, due to the humiliation and wars in China over the past century, the influence of pan-politicization has formed a rigid monopoly.Even if we try our best to develop science and technology and economy in the future, under that unified model, all kinds of talents educated will inevitably be biased and narrow in concept and cognition. People are not machines, and they should not and cannot live in a single society dominated by a few people.Perhaps there is such a need at a certain stage of social development, but when that need is met, new needs will inevitably follow. Free thought is the driving force of human evolution, and fiction could not have arisen without necessity.Martial arts novels are a form of novels, which inherit the Chinese tradition and promote the spirit of fairness and justice.When so many people in society voluntarily escape into a certain kind of illusory realm, those with knowledge should recognize that there must be something wrong with society. As for those who escaped, after being psychologically comforted and their depression completely vented, they should be able to face the reality bravely.Even for a psychologically immature child, escape is the only way to protect himself. Of course, any phenomenon has its advantages and disadvantages. Literary works have advantages and disadvantages, and martial arts novels are no different.So are bad martial arts novels harmful to people?This is not necessarily the case. A person's ability to judge refers to his ability to verify the material he knows and the real environment.A person without the ability to judge can't distinguish right from wrong, good from bad, and no matter what he learns or does, he may be biased. Why are martial arts novels the only ones? Even if I left home to practice immortality and visit Taoism, I believe that sooner or later I will find my way back.What's more, my experience in the first half of my life, apart from tempering my will, is actually lacklustre.If I still have a little contribution to this society, that kind of ability is not so much cultivated by the school and the real society, it is more appropriate to say that it is influenced by martial arts novels. In the end, I have to admit from the bottom of my heart that Huanzhu Zhuzhuzhu is the person who influenced me the most in my life.Not only was I baptized by him when I was in junior high school, but until today, I still have a few of his books by my side, and they are the only ones that I can cherish. If it weren't for his novels, I would have been lost in the sea of ​​people long ago. Even if I didn't, I'm afraid I would be a walking dead today.Huanzhu first led me into the fantasy world of the novel, and then introduced the true meaning of Zen Buddhism with some vivid stories.For example, in the 209th episode of the Lingjing Lock Yanyan, the peerless fairy baby participates in the Buddha girl, and the ninja master of the Xiaohanshan nun vows to convert all living beings with a hundred forbearance.In order to break the long-standing fate, there is a crossbar in front of him. Immortals have not been able to cross this step for hundreds of years.But when his reincarnated daughters Xie Ying and Xie Ling came, a few tears of love for their loved ones turned the horizontal wood into invisible. Master Ninja said with emotion: The door is across the tree, and it is still moved by the most affectionate nature. It can be seen that sages, immortals, Buddhas, and heroes are all tired of this love word. Huanzhu also created a Zunsheng Zen master, who has supreme magic power, and is willing to be trapped by the old man in order to convert the first demon in the book, the old man Sibi of Tianyu Palace.The Zen master wanted to impress it with piety and perseverance, and performed the highest Buddhist Dharma Vajra Dragon Chan Chan.In a fit of rage, the old man Shibi imprisoned the Zen master in a cave in Gaoligong Mountain with the Great Asura method. There are seven Sanxians living in seclusion in Gongshan Mountain, known as the Seven Elders of Lishan Mountain, and they are all disciples of Zen masters.Every one hundred and twenty years, they take turns to send a futon to honor the Zen master. In the end, the old man Shibi did evil carelessly and was harmed by his own demon.During the battle between heaven and man, the old man recalled for a moment thousands of years ago, Zen Master Zunsheng intended to convert him, but he was tortured and restrained by him.Unexpectedly, with just one thought, the Zen master appeared immediately.Seeing that the Zen master's patchwork clothes have rotted and the last futon has been torn, the old man Shibi still looks at each other with kind eyes. Of course, the old man turned his back on the shore in the end, but it was me, the reader, who really benefited.The time I have seen is often hundreds of years and thousands of years, and after life and death, there is still an inexhaustible fate in the afterlife.The ones I have come into contact with are not those who are diligent in their practice, or those who are heinous, selfish, and finally reduced to evil ways and demons who have lost their minds and souls.The truths I have learned are all about loyalty, filial piety, self-denial and courtesy, and when the time is right, there will be a day of soaring. It is this outlook on time and life that has influenced my whole life. Immersed in the realm of pure spirit, fame and fortune in the world have long been regarded as floating clouds.Indistinctly, the direction of my pursuit has been determined, and in the end I will finally get my wish. However, the chicness of the Xianxia world cannot change the reality of the world.At the end of the semester, I still firmly believe that there will be immortals and Buddhas to bless me, so I don't take it seriously.When the report card arrived, I was stunned when I saw it.Except for music, sports, art, labor and Boy Scouts, the rest are scarlet letters.In other words, none of the subjects that require examinations have passed. There was a chill in my heart. From any point of view, there was no possibility of not repeating a grade in this situation.Unless it is a miracle, unless there is really a Bodhisattva blessing!But Bodhisattva only blesses good people. During this period, I stole money from my father many times in order to rent martial arts novels.Since he did something bad, is he punished for it? Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guanyin Bodhisattva, my disciple is wrong!Please forgive my disciple!With my only and last hope, I looked down.A row of blue words clearly jumped out of the full page of red: Read with the class! I couldn't believe my eyes, I looked and looked, yes, it was read with the class!Although I failed all the main subjects, I still did not repeat the grade.If that's not the blessing of the Bodhisattva, what is? In any case, I finally got a new textbook after school started, and I returned to seat number nineteen.As for the novels, I have already read all the books in the store. In the end, only the original ones from Huanzhuzhuzhu were the only ones I could read.However, because he was detained in the mainland, he was considered disloyal to the national government, and all new books were banned.With no books to read, I had no choice but to return to the world and start a new life. The first thing that makes me feel unaccustomed is the cumbersome things in the world, which are ordinary and lack of change, but they linger day after day.Secondly, there are too many constraints and restrictions in life, this can’t be done, that can’t be done, it’s far worse than the freedom in indulging in novels.In addition, there is some inexplicable reason that makes me feel a little inexplicably alienated from all the people and things around me.Even the patron saint in my mind, who was still sitting on the seventh, seemed to be a fairy in the clouds, vaguely shrouded in the morning mist.All in all, it is very different from the world I used to know. Human cognition comes from experience. After experiencing the baptism of the life of gods, I have already decided that the world is originally hazy and ambiguous.As for the past, I don't want to think about it, and I really don't remember clearly.Fortunately, I have a safe haven in my heart, where I can enjoy myself for a while at any time, and the others are not important. One day in class, the teacher wrote the questions on the blackboard for an impromptu exam.The things around me, to me, were originally a blur.Anyway, I don't know what to do. According to the usual practice, I will hand in a blank paper then. But now I'm sitting in the front and have lost the barrier.The teacher saw that I didn't write anything, so he asked: "Don't you know it?" won't what?I am amazed that no one has ever asked me such a question before. what else?Didn't you see the topic on the blackboard? I squinted my eyes for a closer look, and there were some white shadows on the blackboard, as pale as stars hundreds of light-years away. It was hard to distinguish, so I had to shake my head. The teacher told me to go to the front of the blackboard. Gradually, the shadows formed and some familiar words floated out. I seemed to walk out of the thick fog, and shouted happily: I see, there are words on the blackboard! Of course there are words on the blackboard!You are nearsighted, don't you know that? What is myopia?This is the first time I hear this term.At that time, no one in our class wore glasses, and no one in our family was short-sighted. All our knowledge of glasses came from the four-eyed frog in the comics. The teacher said: Myopia means that you can only see things that are very close. You must wear glasses. I went home and told my father that I wanted to buy glasses, but my father reprimanded: "Nonsense, what kind of glasses do you wear when you are young?" The teacher said I was short-sighted, and I couldn't do it without glasses, so I explained carefully. The father was immediately annoyed: what does your teacher know?No one in my family has been short-sighted for several generations, how could you have it? I don't know why, and I dare not say it again.Later, the teacher wrote a note to my father, so he stopped objecting and gave me a pair of glasses. Putting on the 300-degree glasses, in an instant, the world shines brightly, and everything is delicate and clear.Regardless of color, shape, movement and change are full of fun.The faces of the students are so kind, and the teachers are not as strict as I imagined. The smiles on the corners of everyone's mouths make me feel extremely warm. I used to live in a hazy world because my vision was damaged because I read too many novels.As time goes by, I get used to it and become natural. In my experience, there will always be a thick layer of fog that fills my side. Because I can't see faces clearly, I haven't developed the ability to observe faces and colors, and I can't figure out other people's minds.But people often need to communicate with each other. In addition to language, there are also communication methods such as gestures and expressions.When a person has interpersonal barriers due to his inability to observe facial expressions, he will inevitably try to avoid communicating with others and become introverted and closed. Just when I poked my head out of the illusory environment, I was holding a suspicious and distrustful attitude towards other people.These two pieces of glass immediately brought a wonderful turning point. There is such a strong contrast between the past and the present, as if it is a new world.I began to carefully observe the things around me and absorb them greedily. It can be said that I have completely reborn and started a new life. The first thing I was most concerned about was to see the pony's face clearly, and I mustered up the courage to stare at her from a distance.Finally, she became a living figure, no longer a vague shadow in the impression.However, when her black and white eyes projected over, all my courage and determination immediately collapsed, and I hurriedly turned my head away. When the students saw me as a fresh four-eyed frog, they immediately surrounded me and snatched my glasses. Everyone had to try it.All of a sudden, I became a special man of the hour.The scene at that time is quite emotional when I think about it today.As far as I know, in middle schools in Taiwan, the proportion of students with myopia is as high as 70% to 80%.If things go on like this, one day the four-eyed people will be curious when they see a person without glasses! Just when I stripped the complex factors, I was very happy, I studied hard, and I was about to get on the right track.But another unfortunate incident happened in school, which made me lose all my previous efforts and fell into Avici Hell again.I have thought about the incident before and after, analyzed it in detail, and understood it very clearly.However, there is nothing we can do about the troubles and the fate of others. Under the leadership of our tutor, Mr. Xiao Huikai, our class 32 was once on the model list of the whole school twice. At that time, the discipline in the class was very good, and the academic performance was also impressive.According to the theory in the educational circles, those who have good math scores are associated with higher intelligence.Since our class, our school has set up an experimental class for those with high scores in mathematics in the entrance examination.It stands to reason that the intelligence of this class is low, and the grades should be poor, but Mr. Xiao made us dominate. Teacher Xiao is the only good teacher I have ever seen in my life. He is upright and fair, strict but not cruel, and treats us like his own children.In particular, his knowledge and education earned the sincere admiration and admiration of his classmates.Under the influence of ears and eyes, unconsciously, they were influenced by him. We are very grateful to have met such a good mentor, everyone is working hard, and the future is bright.But the cruel reality taught us the first lesson in the world.The school authorities found out that he was a member of Al-Shabaab and forced him to resign voluntarily. At that time, we didn't understand why young party members couldn't teach, and everyone was outraged.I remember that we also sent the class monitor to ask the school to let Mr. Xiao continue to teach, but in the end, the dean came and the whole class was disciplined.The director insisted that we were ignorant and bewitched by bad people. When Mr. Xiao left, the whole class cried into a ball.Everyone knows in their hearts that there are many teachers, but really good ones are rare.Some teachers complain a lot in class and teach less, and are often regarded as the object of jokes by their classmates.The glory and reputation of this class come entirely from the careful teaching of Teacher Xiao.He is gone, what about our future? Mr. Xiao is not only loved by our whole class, but also the students in other classes do not deny their admiration for him.However, in this era, there are many phenomena where villains are in power and gentlemen are dusted.With the growth of age and the increase of experience, we will see more and more.Except for a few people who can still stick to their principles, most of them have to compromise with reality and go with the flow. The new tutor is a professional teacher who graduated from the Normal University and is very young.Her name is Zhang Shuzhen, she is petite but full of arrogance.As soon as she entered the classroom, she started training: I know you have a bad reputation in your class, but don’t think I’m easy to bully, I’m the least afraid of Taibao and hooligans When everyone heard it, they all looked at each other in blank dismay.We are a famous model class, and there have never been so-called Taibao hooligans. Did Teacher Zhang make a mistake? She continued: "The school authorities transferred me to your class to discipline you well." At this time, there was a sneer from the back of the classroom. Everyone looked back and saw that it was a classmate who had just transferred from Hong Kong this semester.His surname is Ni, and his nickname is Niqian. He is tall and tall, and he often likes to make jokes.I don't like him very much, and I'm jealous of his clothes, which are always neat and clean.Moreover, Teacher Xiao cared too much about him and often chatted with him. Teacher Zhang asked angrily: Who is laughing? it's me.Loach stood up slowly and stretched his waist, the whole class couldn't help laughing. Teacher Zhang looked at him, decided to ignore him, and said softly: "Sit down." What are you talking about?Loach said with a smile on his face. I tell you to sit down.Teacher Zhang raised his voice. Ah, you're welcome, I will.Loach sat down slowly, and put his feet up on the desk. As a result, Teacher Zhang's prestige was lost, and the students all whispered to each other.I believe they all praised the bravery of the loach, because everyone was unwilling, and finally someone gave us a sigh of relief. Teacher Zhang was stunned for a while, with more pleas than threats in his tone: My method is to publish the list of disobedient classmates at the school gate.If you don't listen, I will notify the parents to come to the school. Also, from her eyes, we can see that there are new tricks behind. At this time, Niqiu had already taken out a pack of cigarettes, and threw one to Ade who was by the window. Ade had been repeated from the previous class last semester. Under the watchful eyes of everyone, the two lit their cigarettes and started smoking. Loach said: Ade, I have no parents in Taiwan, what should I do? It's okay, ask Xiao Zhang to send me the notice Under everyone's laughter, Teacher Zhang couldn't help crying like a waterfall, and kept saying: Why are you talking like this, crying, holding your face in your hands and running out of the classroom. Feeling happy for a while, Niach and Ade hurriedly threw away the cigarettes.Everyone knew that the storm was coming, and they all sat upright with a heavy heart, waiting for the next moment of bad luck. Sure enough, after a while, the dean of students was furious, and accompanied the crying teacher Zhang back to the classroom.That sharp comparison is really interesting, and the original three-point fear has disappeared. Our dean of students is very famous.Because there was a time when the cartoonist Niu Ge was chasing after a female classmate named Erma who was a sophomore in our school.Our dean of students came forward to teach Brother Niu a lesson, so Brother Niu drew a picture of the popular old fritters in the newspaper, and he was the model for his shape.Lao Youtiao has a protruding chin and two protruding teeth, which are delicate and delicate.Since then, we have called him Old You Tiao. I don't know if Lao Youtiao is blaming us or Teacher Zhang, because he wants Teacher Zhang to identify who made her sad.Teacher Zhang didn't even raise his head, so the dean asked the students to turn themselves in, but no one came forward.In the end, he had no choice but to question the monitor, but the monitor said that he didn't know why Mr. Zhang left by himself. Due to the anger of the whole class and Teacher Zhang's refusal to speak, the school authorities were helpless.Some people say that this is because Mr. Zhang has a kind heart and is afraid of ruining the future of the loach.Ade snorted when he heard this, Shenlong predicted vividly: Xiao Zhang is my original tutor, she said she majored in educational psychology.What psychology?It's bullying the good and fearing the evil!Just wait and see, she will find a hapless ghost for surgery. That unlucky ghost is me, I guess because I am small, not scary, and I study with the class, so it is most suitable to sacrifice the flag. Not long after this incident, Teacher Zhang wrote a letter to his father and sent it to his office.The letter listed my top ten crimes and asked my father to discipline me strictly! I didn't know anything, and when I returned home, I didn't expect my father to leave work early and be ready for battle.As soon as I saw me, I didn't care about indiscriminateness, and my stick was like rain.In a hurry, I just hugged my head and faced the wall, my whole body was in pain. My father got sore from the beating, gasped for breath, and said: You bastard, you have really disgraced my Zhu family!I usually thought you just refused to study, so you are so bad!If I don't beat you to death, I'm sorry for my ancestors! What the hell did you do?You'd better tell the truth yourself, otherwise, your father won't stop!Uncle Cao hurried over to persuade me. I was trying to endure the pain all over my body. I guessed that the matter of reading with the class might have been exposed, and I was planning to justify myself.Hearing this, it was obvious that there was something else going on, so what was it? I have no idea.I really don't know. You still want Sarah!Father jumped up again, ten crimes, don't you know any of them? What ten crimes?I haven't even heard of it. The father shook the letter angrily, and read: First, look around during the exam, cheating When I heard it, I screamed: Injustice!Tears welled up in my eyes and my heart trembled. I knelt on the ground and kowtowed to my father again and again: Dad, you keep beating me to death. I dare not snort, but please don’t wrong me.I would rather get a zero score in the test than cheat. My mother is in the sky and can see it very clearly. I dare not make my mother angry. After hearing this, the father calmed down his anger, and continued to read: second, usually in groups At this time, Uncle Cao interrupted and said: What is this?They are all classmates, what kind of clique is playing together? The father read again: Third, withdrawn personality Uncle Cao said: Duke Huai, this is a bit unreasonable. The second article clearly says that Bang Fu usually forms a group of cliques, so why did he become withdrawn?If it is a lonely personality, with whom to form a party? My father thought about it, and thought it was reasonable, and looked at it carefully, and said: But, it is clearly written like this!Could it be that the teacher made it up?Fourth, the dog who bullies girls and mothers!You goddamn thing!This is always true, right? Before I had time to argue, Uncle Cao interjected again: What do you mean bullying a girl?I find this letter inexplicable, let me have a look. The father handed it over, still saying: How could the teacher frame him?If it wasn't his fault, why did the teacher write this letter? Uncle Cao looked at it and said, "Mr. Huai, you are a sensible person. Except for the first one, none of the other ones can be counted as crimes."It is true that Bangfu did not do well in the exam.I don't believe that he cheated. If he cheated, would his grades still be bad?As for the other articles, I think they are simply chasing after rumors.What is messy clothes?Is this also a crime?All the poor people in the world should be killed that day!It's just nonsense.Mr. Huai, you must go to the school in person tomorrow.If it's really Bang Fu's fault, I'll take care of it for you.At the same time, let the teacher know that we will never be sloppy in dealing with others! The next day, my father took me to school to find Teacher Zhang. As soon as Teacher Zhang saw his father's stern face, he immediately said: "Mr. Zhu, I am doing it for your son's sake. Children need to be disciplined!" I rushed to say: I can ask the whole class to testify that I have never cheated! The students know who is cheating in the class, and the reason why I didn't cheat is not because I have any extraordinary sentiments.To be honest, with the blessing of Bodhisattva, do you still need to cheat? Father's face darkened: You go to class, I will talk to Teacher Zhang! I don't know the result of their conversation, but Teacher Zhang will never admit his mistake, and my father will never believe me.Uncle Cao started to take over, and I was prepared in my heart. Under this kind of education method, I will never compromise.Although it is not my wish to repeat the grade, I would rather choose to repeat the grade or even drop out of school than to be under the care of Teacher Zhang for a long time. During this period of time, the only spring in my heart came quietly and went away quietly.There are no brilliant flowers, and no singing of birds.It's just a warm wind blowing from the snow, the ice melted, and a belated bud sprouted.Immediately afterwards, it was freezing cold and snowing heavily, and that little bud was forever frozen in my heart. We all go to school by bicycle, and everyone has a fixed number and a parking space in the school's bicycle shed.I am on the 78th, and Ma Xiangjun is on the 25th.One day I looked at my bicycle, and there are few worse ones in school.Needless to say, it was dilapidated, there were no rain shields for the front and rear wheels, the bell was missing, and even the brakes were absent.Cars are like people, what about me?It just so happens to be worthy of this car. Whenever I see the pony's car, it is so clean and fresh, I can't help feeling ashamed.On this day, I suddenly thought that I would not have the opportunity to get close to her in this life, and I dare not let her know my feelings for her.Since the car and I have the same disease, why not make my poor car happy, let it meet with the pony's car for a while, and let it receive some shelter? I did it when I thought of it, so I deliberately put the car next to her car, next to hers.If she arrives late at school, I will deliberately delay for a while and wander around the campus.Because he was afraid of being discovered by her, he had to push the car out before her when school was over.Living like this, I feel sincere happiness in my heart, and I add a little cherish and caution when riding on the bike.We are in the same sickness, I let it touch her light, and it also let me share a little bit of happiness. Once when school was over, I had something to worry about for a while, and saw that she had entered the carport.Everyone knew my car, so of course the ruse was caught.Under the mixed shame, since then, I had to obediently put the car back in place. In order to grab a parking space, I found that I could escape my father's scolding by going to school earlier.Since the embarrassment of parking was revealed, I simply arrived at the school early in the morning, sometimes so early that the school gate was not even opened.Later I found out that Adelaide also arrived very early, and we began to compete intentionally or unintentionally.After arriving in the classroom, since they didn't come to review their homework and had nothing to do, they made fun of the later classmates. Our most common trick is to hide the keys to the classroom, and then hide aside, waiting to see the late classmates make a fool of themselves.According to the regulations, the students on duty that day should come to open the door first.Since Adesai and I were early, we specially asked the students to put the keys on the lintel of the classroom, so that those who arrive early can open the door first. Many people who came later than us were fooled into finding the key and had to climb in through the window.Ade and I were very happy, counting one by one.Gradually, I noticed that the pony arrived earlier every day, why?I dare not say.But my heart began to feel uneasy. What should I do if it is her turn to climb the window? So, I said to Adelaide, the key game is tired.Ade disagreed, he thought it was more interesting than anything else.I even hope that one day I can see a female classmate climbing the window, and I will be satisfied. This was exactly what I was worried about. I spent a lot of effort and made up a lot of reasons, and finally convinced him.We agreed not to make fun of the classmate anymore, but he insisted on keeping the lock and key by his side. On a twilight morning, Ade and I were the only ones in the classroom, leaning against the window, searching for prey downstairs.Suddenly, I saw her beautiful figure!The thing I was most worried about was finally about to happen, my heart was beating violently, I was at a loss for a while, my mind went blank, and I didn't know what to do. Ade whistled and walked out of the classroom, while I was busy taking out the textbooks, I must pretend to be a good student!I was still thinking wildly, the classroom door closed suddenly, and then I heard the sound of locking.Oops, Ade is playing tricks! I wanted to stop him, but it was too late.At this time, Ade opened the window and climbed in quickly.After closing the window, he immediately sat down on the seat.It's over, what should I do?Grab Ade's key and please pony?What about the classmates who were teased by us in the past?Preferring to her just because I like her? While he was hesitating, he heard footsteps approaching.The empty echo is so stable and light, I can imagine Xiaoma's confident expression.我的心急劇地跳動，該把門打開呢？還是趕快藏起來？為什麼人不能像劍仙小說中的情節一樣，可以立時消影潛蹤？我怎能坐在這裡，眼看著心目中的偶像，竟自佝僂著身體，從那半截窗子鑽進來？ 但是，我卻沒有動彈，心中無數個念頭此起彼落。我暗恨自己過去害人太多，以至於今天喪失了立場，不能向阿德據理力爭。 有人敲門了，我急得幾乎要發瘋，身體發軟，低著頭，癱瘓在座位上。門被推著拉著，阿德是存心不理，我則是喪魂失魄，動彈不得。 半響，她試試窗子，順手就打開了。只聽得阿德嗤嗤地笑，他終於看到一位女同學爬窗子了，相信他一生都將津津樂道。而我呢，我知道得非常清楚，這將是我今生最後一次，看到她在晨曦中姍姍而來了。 果然她不再早到，但是她卻原諒了我。有一次我居然在我那寒酸的車子旁邊，見到了她那輕巧、乾淨的小可愛。或許是意外吧，或許是別人無意中挪過來的。我急忙躲到一旁，我想要知道事實真相，但願是她自己把車子放在這裡的。 我在人叢中，眼看她向停車處走過去，毫不猶豫，一直走到我們的車旁。然後，她輕輕地，把糾纏在一起的那部禿車移開。跨上車，如同一片秋日輕靈的浮雲，瀟灑地走了。 我的心悸動著，我的手顫抖著，我不忍心騎上那部禿車。我只是溫柔地，小心翼翼地，將它推到一個無人的牆角。我仔細咀嚼著剛才的情景，撫慰著小馬觸摸過的把手，抱著車身，痛快淋漓地大哭了一場。 我很感激她的仁慈，可是我還能要求什麼呢？我有資格期望嗎？烏雲密布薄天，寒風已起林梢，學期接近了尾聲。我再傻，也知道自己危機步步，因為上個學期成績太差，現在連求天保佑都難了。 成績揭曉了，學年平均的結果，英文、數學及理化不及格，我降級到卅七班。 雖然心裡有數，我卻只想到如果留級了，充其量再留到卅五班，繼續唸二下。但是現在卻降到卅七班，等於是要從二上重新唸起。 為什麼觀音菩薩不再保佑了呢？為什麼我上次全部不及格，都能隨班附讀，現在卻只有三科就降級？ 惶惑、玄疑、莫明其妙，我好像陷入一個深邃的黑洞中！父親的打罵我都沒有放在心上，我只要求瞭解事實的真相，這些似乎不合常情的現象，究竟是什麼原因使然？ 我沒有辦法去問觀世音菩薩，到了學校，找到教務長，委婉地請求他解釋。 原來國府撤到台灣之初，沿用大陸的學期制，一年招生兩次。有所謂春季班、秋季班之分，每學期終了後，即結算一次成績，以定升降。無巧不巧，這一年教育部決定改為學年制，一年僅招生一次，停辦春季班。在施行之初，為了便利學子，規定當時凡由秋季班留級至春季班者，得以暫時隨班附讀。最後在學年結束時，再將全年的成績平均計算，做為該年升降級之標準。 第一次我符合隨班附讀的規定，得以回到三十二班（秋季班）。到了下學期，全年平均仍有三科不及格，則留級一年，故降為秋季的三十七班。 就這麼簡單，當然，對懂得其中原理的人而言，什麼都很簡單。 排除了各種巧合的因素，我開始懷疑是否世間真有菩薩和神仙？在還珠樓主的小說中，那些劍仙騰雲駕霧、知道過去未來的本事，比當今的科學武器還要厲害，顯然這並非事實。再談菩薩，如果真能有求必應，那麼人活著只要不斷地祈求，豈非一切困難都解決了？再如一人求下雨，一人求天晴，菩薩該怎麼辦？ 俗語說上一次當學一次乖，這次的代價太高了。如果不是仗著盲信菩薩保佑，可能不至於落到這種地步。痛定思痛，從此我下定決心，拋卻迷信附會。凡事不經過自己理智的印証，絕不輕易接受。 人生事態，就是個人意識形成的基因，我不甘於無知，所以勇於探索。這種動機不斷地驅策著我，走過崇山峻嶺，跨越無涯深淵，由無而有，由暗而明，終於闖出一條康莊大道。換個角度來說，如果我自己不用心去思索追求，則所有的災難和痛苦，不僅不能成為人生的借鏡，反而變成一場惡夢，將終身陷溺而不能拔。 我一到卅七班，就感到氣氛詭異，天天有人打架，同學們說話也很粗鹵。不久，我就發現了兩個主要的因素。一是有位姓羅的同學，其父為某軍種的總司令，家中有錢，母親又極度寵愛。 每天下課時，羅生便從口袋掏出大把鈔票，向空中一揚，大聲說：哪個王八羔子要跟我上福利社？ 隨聲應和的人不少，最後都成為他的黨羽。 其次，班上有位女同學，名叫古稚鳳。她長得清秀脫俗，曲線玲瓏，更難得的是有一股神聖不可侵犯的氣質。在我們小和尚群中，她有如殿上的神祇，又宛似沙漠中的綠洲。自然而然地，她不僅令同學們傾倒，更吸引了許多高年級的狂蜂浪蝶，時常來班上騷擾。 曾有一位老師把古稚鳳的名字誤唸為古鴉鳳，從此大家就叫她烏鴉。後來成名的武俠小說家古龍，當時就讀卅五班。他也是我們常見的鴉客之一，他對古稚鳳迷戀之深，可以由其筆名古龍略知端倪。 那時同學們多多少少已知一點男女之情，包括我在內，暗戀烏鴉的人不少。但限於傳統及環境，少男少女純情式的愛戀與尊重經常糾結不清，彼此也心照不宣。所以，每次見到高年級男生擠眉弄眼的惡形惡狀，大家便覺得深受侮辱，不免怒從心生。 除了烏鴉外，班上還有四個女生，其中一位外號叫十三點。當時的社會相當保守，男女同學間連交談都小心翼翼，十三點則名實相符，對一切毫無戒心。她常和那些高年級同學，在走廊上肆無忌憚地嬉笑打鬧，也讓我們難堪不已。 在開學後不久，班上便引發了兩次與高年級的打鬥。男同學們一商量，既然不能阻止他們過來，只有由我們攔在教室門口，禁止女同學下課時出去。 我是新來的，還未瞭解全部的狀況。旁觀之下，我覺得烏鴉人很正派，所以並沒有參加他們的陣營。 這事鬧了很久，女同學們被攔在教室內，感到非常不便。有一天，十三點的朋友來護航，他一副目中無人的樣子，攔門的同學退縮了。還來不及考慮，我熱血上沖，搶到門口，把腳一伸，抵著門柱。別人不敢攔十三點，我來攔！要打架，我來打！ 料不到，十三點的朋友竟然一句話也不說，回頭就走了。後來不知是誰向學校投訴，我這次做英雄的代價是違反風紀，記小過乙次。 在這種環境中，我知道力量的重要性。正好腦中裝了不少武功秘笈，何不乘機一試真假。這次事件發生後，每天晚上我都在家中苦練功夫不已。幾個月練下來，不論手勁、摔角，在班上堪稱無敵。 羅那一夥耍的是另外一套，他們仗著有錢，可以買到月考試卷，所以整天嬉戲玩鬧。上課時有老師在還好，若是自修課或老師不在，教室就成了菜市場。想讀書的同學都敢怒不敢言，好事的同學則跟著起鬨，喧鬧之聲，時常影響到別班的安寧。 同學看我不怕事，選我做風紀排長，我無視於羅的威脅利誘，專記他們那一夥的名字。卅七班的導師也是童軍團長，姓黃名羅。他長得滿臉橫肉，好似兇神惡煞，可是卻有著一顆菩薩心腸。我每次呈上違紀的名單，他總是笑容可掬地收下，然後把名單拿給羅看。羅因為有所仗恃，態度依然。而我更是毫不氣餒，名單照記。後來羅放出風聲，要找十三雄以及小五雄來修理我。 人生的際遇無常，孔子說：少年之時血氣方剛，戒之在鬥。我當時曾準備要糾合一些不滿羅的朋友，果真羅要用武力對付我，大家不妨一較高下。相信所謂的太保，很多都只是一時的意氣用事，日深月久，恩怨糾結，遂致難以自拔。 學校規定學生禁止攜帶武器，為了應付隨時可能發生的伏擊，我特別將腰帶兩端之銅環磨得尖利非常。在家中，我練了一套纏龍鞭法，隨時可以抽出腰帶，用銅環尖利的鋒刃，把樹皮割成碎片。此外我還練了旱地拔蔥，一方面為了逃命，一方面也還有其他用途。因為我個子不高，打籃球時老搶不到球，所以發狠苦練。 所幸羅只是說說而已，沒人來修理我，我才沒有走上歧途。鞭法從未派上用場，但旱地拔蔥卻使我能從平地拔起，摸到籃框。有了得以驕人的本事，我漸漸迷上籃球。在那種激烈的運動下，全部精力有了適當的發洩，每天總要累到雙腳發軟為止。 直到班上鬧出了一件轟動全台的大事，學校當局才知道事態的嚴重性。然而，惡果已然鑄成，挽救不及。多年後，牽連該事件的同學中，一人被殺身死，一人被判有期徒刑二十多年。而羅生現居美國洛省，任某教會牧師，常現身說法，後悔不已。 以我所知，羅生本性善良，只因家中富有，母親寵愛過度，無所拘束。而學校無視教育的重責，一味敷衍。等到學子們寶貴的青春逝去，出了社會，惡習已經養成，難以更正。再加上社會風氣競逐奢華，面臨著激烈的生存競爭，人不甘埋沒終生，便只有鋌而走險。無論個人、社會或國家，都付出了無可彌補的代價。 學校不是學店，不能專事買賣知識，品德、人格可以決定知識應用的方向。用之於公，社會國家受益；用之於私，一人得利而已。教育是國家、社會千秋萬世興亡所繫，而教師則是未來前途的催生者。從歷史的觀點上看，不論古今中外，任何一個政府的成敗，當視其在教育上的措施而定。 在二年下學期的期終考前，就有同學拿著期考試題答案，到處炫耀。貪便宜是人的天性，何況是一些年輕、未經事故的中學生。班上只有少數同學沒有加入他們的行列：五位女同學，幾位成績好、自命有把握的高材生以及我這個從不妥協的怪物。 暑假時，有一天大華晚報第四版刊登了一則新聞，大意是： 初中學生看武俠小說入迷 結夥上阿里山修道 我一看，正是羅和他的嘍囉們，第一批七個人，在萬華車站被截下來。第二批的二十多人，則計劃在日內成行。 我大吃一驚，忙向同學打聽，才知道原來是買考卷之事被發現。學校一追查，發現為首的是羅生，班上還有三十多人涉及。這樣大的醜聞，學校一時不知如何處置，有人主張嚴辦，有人主張從寬。而羅等幾個人一商量，認為不管學校怎樣處置，家裡一定會責罰。不如集體逃家，藉此要脅家長，直到獲得保証，不加處罰為止。 參加買卷的同學都同意了，最後選中去阿里山。因為其中有位同學曾去過，大家正好乘機野營，玩個痛快。但除了羅和少數人外，其他同學並非個個家裡有錢。而這一趟費用，又不是羅等幾個人所能負擔。因此規定每個人都要繳些錢，自購車票，前後分三批行動。 由開始討論到成行，前後有三天之久。此時他們已經逃家，每天都睡在教室裡。大批的同學出出進進，而學校的師長職員很多，竟然沒有一個人發覺。 最妙的是第一批七人正要出發時，其中一位外號傻蛋的同學，突然想到媽媽箱子裡還有些金條。大家都罵他笨，催他去偷來花。因為火車班次已定，其餘六人決定先行，並約好在萬華車站見面。 傻蛋回到家，光天化日之下，他竟然翻牆進去。當時他父母正在院中與警察討論他的行蹤，不料兒子卻從天而降。也幸虧如此，警察得以及時趕到車站，把幾個目瞪口呆的小夥子給攔了回來。 最後學校當局折衷處理，為首的七位同學條件入學，其他廿七人則統統留校查看。 處身在那種環境中，若非過去不幸的遭遇，養成了固執的個性，我必然也是他們的一員。回想三十二班在蕭老師的管教下，絕不可能發生這種事情。小小一個班級，不過四十多個純潔的少年，好的老師可以使他們成為社會的棟梁，繼續散播良好的種子。不負責的老師，不僅使無辜的學子喪失了他們應有的權利，也為社會增加了額外的負擔。 為什麼沒有任何人從這些事件中學到教訓呢？隨著社會的繁榮，台灣教育風氣日趨惡化。人們只知嘩眾取寵，敢於負責的人越來越少，愚昧無知漸成主流。數十年後，愛的教育大行其道，人人愛惜羽毛，學生已無法管教。作弊不再是新鮮事，飆車、打架、搶劫、綁架、勒索、殺人等層出不窮。不僅是老師打學生、學生打老師，還有學生結夥攻打警察局的！ 更嚴重的是，學校培育出來的精英唯技是問！他們眼中只有成敗得失，至於倫理道德，連聽都沒有聽說過！種瓜得瓜、種果得果，數十年後，這種教育的成績大放光芒！台灣社會上人人為己、亂象畢陳！最後鬧得上上下下裏裏外外，一片烏煙瘴氣。 古人說得好：得人者昌，失人者亡。我惋惜蕭老師的離去，也哀嘆良師益友之難遇。國家民族的前途，端視下一代的教育。而下一代的教育，卻又控制在上一代人的手中。只能怨我們生不逢時，因為環境的因果循環，在人生最珍貴的起步當兒，竟遭到這樣無情的摧殘，付出了一生的幸福。