Chapter 11 Ten, Osamu

Clubs, Service, Responsibilities, Evenings Emotionally, I am introverted, but when it comes to doing things, I am open-minded and dare to act.When I was in the third grade, it was my department's turn to host the school's meals, and the department recruited me to be in charge. The school's lunch group has always been criticized by the students. As long as the economic situation permits, they would rather go to an off-campus store to make a meal.I carefully studied the crux of the matter and found that the only reason is that people are trying to save people.It is said that every time the students sponsor the event, they can earn at least one bicycle, which is equivalent to one-thirtieth of the total expenses.In addition, about 20% of the people eat for nothing, and the wool comes from the sheep, and the honest students will certainly suffer.

The size of the restaurant can accommodate 1,000 people, but usually only three or four hundred people join the occupancy. With fewer people, the cost will increase relatively.Although the school was responsible for the salaries of the six workers, their meals were paid by the food group.In addition, there are about ten food committee members in each session, and they regard eating and drinking for free as their due rights. According to my calculations, as long as these disadvantages are eliminated, the current monthly consumption of 120 yuan per person can be equivalent to 180 yuan. So I made a bold statement that the food must be prepared.There is a new classmate Ren Yihua in our class. He joined the Youth Army and served as a middle school instructor. He came to university after retiring.Therefore, he has rich administrative experience and is very stable and down-to-earth. I especially asked him to be in charge of the accounting.There are several other committee members who are assigned by the department.

I convened all the food committee members and stipulated that the food fee should be paid first, and all meals should be paid by ticket.Several junior committee members protested and refused to accept, but I did not compromise and stood firm.Secondly, I changed the way of entering the restaurant. It used to be that students were allowed to enter the venue with meal tickets, and then received the food with the tickets, and the meals were taken by themselves.The disadvantage of this is that some students have prepared their own dishes, and after entering the venue, they only eat and do not pick up the dishes.After they finished eating, the meal tickets were handed over to other students to do the same.

My method is simple and clear. The restaurant is re-divided into two areas. The front area is free to enter and exit, but it is only for queuing to receive food.After the food is served, the meal ticket is immediately taken back and voided, and then enters the back area to serve the meal.As long as it is implemented carefully, this method will surely put an end to the free-for-all practices that have been practiced for many years. As for the purchase of rice grains, I first inquired about the market price, and then asked merchants to openly compare prices and issue contracts.As for the daily menu, I don't ask any questions, as long as there is a change, I can add dishes on Sunday.In addition, I also stipulated the amount of oil used per person per day. As long as there is oil in the dish, the taste will be natural and delicious.

Sure enough, after a few days, the effect was obvious, and the students spread word of mouth, and the number of people joining the group continued to increase every day.In less than ten days, more than 600 people have joined. In order to earn some pocket money, I used to assemble radios for classmates at school. I could install one radio a month, and I could earn fifty to one hundred yuan.At that time, in order to prevent the communication of bandits and spies, radios were all controlled products.I know of a place that sells scrapped military parts, and when you put them together, it turns out to be a rare product that is not very attractive.I made money and became more interested, so I used the remaining materials and the balance to install an eight-tube push-pull stereo for myself.Not only the sound quality is excellent, but also the three-dimensional effect of the frequency division of the speaker, which is even better than the finished products that students spend thousands of dollars on.

I used this speaker to set up a music appreciation meeting. Once a week, I moved in and out. It was regarded as a treasure, and I was reluctant to give it up when some classmates offered high prices.At this time, in order to serve my classmates, I moved the stereo to the dining room, so that everyone can enjoy wonderful music while eating. Unexpectedly, this kind of service has produced some negative effects.In order to enjoy the music, the students refused to leave after eating, and the originally crowded seats were even more insufficient at this time.I asked the commissioners to clear the field, and it turned out to be even worse.In order to show that they did not finish eating, everyone added rice one after another. As a result, the consumption of more than ten catties of rice increased every day.

I am trying to improve the quality of service all the time, but a few junior committee members take advantage of the opportunity and often sneak into the warehouse at night to eat and drink.He even took advantage of his position to resell the meal tickets and eat and drink for nothing. I got a tip from a classmate, caught witnesses and material evidence at the scene, and traced their meal tickets, and they all disappeared.I was furious and unceremoniously disqualified them from being a committee member. After my observation, I found that the students felt that the portions of the dishes were not enough.According to the market at that time, the market price of green vegetables and white rice was about 1:30, Chinese cabbage was 10 cents a kilogram, and white rice was 3 yuan a kilogram.According to my reasoning, the daily consumption per person is 800 grams of white rice and 2 kilograms of vegetables (dry weight is about 1/4 because the vegetables will lose water). If the supply of vegetables is increased by three times, the consumption can be reduced One hundred grams of white rice.In terms of market price, it should be able to maintain a balance.Therefore, wouldn't it be a good idea to supply a large amount of vegetables, or even unlimited supply?

I discussed it with Ren Yihua, and he completely agreed with my theory, but he couldn't figure out why no one has ever adopted this method?He believes that the current food should not take unnecessary risks when everyone praises it. I really can't think of anything wrong with it other than no one trying it.At that time, the daily non-staple food cost was about 600 yuan, but the rice cost 1,400 yuan. If I bought 2,000 kilograms more vegetables, it would only increase 200 yuan. Even if I made a wrong estimate, I would only lose 200 yuan.It is definitely worth spending two hundred yuan to buy an experience.

Regardless of Lao Ren's objection, I decided to give it a try.So a date was selected, and within a week, the posters and various associations were used to publicize it, calling on the students to cooperate.He also explained that if this experiment is successful, there will be an unlimited supply of food regardless of food in the future, so that everyone can eat until they are full. Immediately, everyone on campus was talking about it. No one thought it was feasible, but no one came up with a reason why it was not feasible.There is only one point that is completely consistent. Everyone is skeptical and waiting to see the excitement.

I had a well-thought-out plan, prepared several contingency plans, and did a few hypothetical previews with the janitors, and everything seemed to be fine.Lao Ren was still worried that day, and bought a lot of extra vegetables, and almost all the restaurants became vegetable markets. It is always half past eleven at noon, but this day it was less than ten o'clock, and some students who were afraid that they would not be able to eat food started to line up.No matter how I promised them, they would not leave. By eleven o'clock, nearly a hundred people had already gathered at the gate.I began to feel uneasy in my heart, and quickly asked the janitors to speed up the cooking, so as not to disappoint anyone.

When the time came, the line that had been in line for more than an hour immediately became a group of skirmishers charging forward.The usually well-mannered students were like hungry ghosts, and before the meal tickets were collected, crowds of people flooded into the hall.Some jumped over the fence, some simply climbed through the window, and some even pushed others aside in groups of three or four. There are six barrels of vegetables in the hall.At this moment, there seemed to be swarms of blowflies, swarming from all directions, and immediately surrounded each bucket one after another.Those who arrive first, get the right location, pick the best meat, and eat from the vegetable bucket.Those who squeezed in behind were not to be outdone, and scrambled to lift up their chopsticks and spoons, over the heads, and insert them into the gaps of the predecessors, trying to grab what they could.Those who were pushed out on the outer layer were all panic-stricken, some yelled and cursed, some burrowed in, and some simply moved over the chairs, condescending, and caught them. It’s really too late, then soon, this kind of spectacle of the end of the world, when I was still desperately blocking the gate, the chaos was out of control.All the food committee members stood aside, and even the instructors who came to supervise were dumbfounded. My blood soared, and I blurted out: Are you high-level intellectuals?Shameless to this point! No one paid attention to me, the maggots squirmed like before. Desperate, I rushed into the crowd, pulled people when I met them, and yelled: Shameless! Maybe my crazy expression frightened them, or maybe my conscience was still there, but no one resisted me.I cleaned up bucket after bucket, and at that time, as long as anyone showed dissatisfaction with me, I would definitely fight him to the death on the spot! My body and hands were covered with vegetable dregs, and my face was full of murderous looks.The students sat down obediently, and order was gradually restored.I was trembling and gasping for breath. Lao Ren came over and pulled me aside, and said to me: Don't worry, I bought some more vegetables, they can't finish it. Are these animals worthy of our feeding?I also yelled loudly. A classmate, who didn't know his name, was dissatisfied and said: Zhu Bangfu, how can you curse like this?We're pretty decent. What is well-behaved?They are unruly, shouldn't you come forward and stop them?I'm still out of breath. Why should I come forward?What does this have to do with me?He stood up confidently, and Lao Ren was afraid that I would cause trouble, so he hurried over to pull me. I threw Lao Ren away with all my strength, and I really planned to go all out: It has nothing to do with you?What is a university education for?Seeing this behavior happen, can you stay out of it?Everyone is like you, sooner or later we will be subjugated slaves! He still wanted to argue, and some classmates surrounded him and pushed him away.Only then did I feel exhausted, and I found a corner to sit down with mixed feelings in my heart.Are these people really that hungry?Or are you deliberately embarrassing me, or are you just thinking it's funny, let's make fun together? I don't know, and I don't want to know.In short, I think these people deserve only the kind of food they complain about every day.Well, let them complain! After one meal, count the results. Under normal circumstances, each meal requires eight barrels of rice and three barrels of vegetables.And this meal used thirteen barrels of rice, fourteen barrels of vegetables, and the remaining rotten water broke the historical record, with as many as fifteen barrels. The reason is very simple, usually there is no choice, eat as much as you can.Now with the opportunity to choose freely, everyone first grabs a bowl of vegetables, eats up the meat, then eats their favorite vegetables, pours the rest into the rotten water bucket, and then grabs the second bowl. This phenomenon proves that ideals must match reality, otherwise they are just personal fantasies.No one does not want to enjoy freedom, but under limited resources, under immature conditions, before people recognize the relationship between themselves and the environment, freedom is equivalent to blind and irregular commotion, which can only destroy but not building.There is only a struggle for rights, no dedication of obligations.Like putting a three-year-old child on the road, what does freedom mean to him? I was so discouraged that I moved the stereo back from the dining room and left all the work to the old man, leaving nothing behind. The classmates laughed at me for running the people's commune, and some accused me of being irresponsible.In fact, it was my ignorance and lack of understanding of human nature that led to my failure.No matter how others persuade, in this case, it is absolutely impossible to seek improvement.As for the routine work every day, Lao Ren is hundreds of times better than me, so why should I care? Dealing with people's affairs requires skill. My personality is too strong, my ideals are too high, and I am divorced from reality.A small group is the epitome of a large group, and the behavior of its members can also be said to be representative of the whole.The reasons for the formation of group state in today's society are intricate and complicated, and the prospect of its development must be spotty and chaotic.After all, science and technology developed and prospered in the twentieth century, people's hearts were driven by material desires, and moral conscience was shattered. Human society will eventually enjoy the consequences it deserves. Is it up to me?what can i do As far as our food committee members are concerned, I have repeatedly told them well, but there are still eight people who eat for nothing.If the management class has been corrupted to such a degree, and it has been around for a long time, and everyone knows it, how can the public it serves be expected to be law-abiding?Some people say that it is human nature to be greedy for cheap, and a trivial matter of more than one hundred yuan cannot be called a corruption of morals.I would like to ask, is it human nature for a person who is greedy for more than a hundred dollars to remain clean when faced with millions? Thinking back to my father's treatment of me, it can almost be summed up as cruelty.Yes, I do feel resentful, because it is human nature.However, with the growth of experience, the deeper the understanding of human nature, the more I understand the kindness and suffering of my father's intentions.Only under that kind of strict requirement can people be vigilant, know introspection, and sublimate their humanity. Schools are the cradle for cultivating human conduct and knowledge. Human nature does not matter good or evil, but what should be done and what is not should be accumulated to form a habit, which is the pattern of behavior.If the school allows these small mistakes, once the students enter the society, how can they be expected to be impartial?After a deeper analysis, Jian Wei thought, if the behavior of high-level intellectuals who have been baptized by university education is like this, where is the hope for society?Can the country not be chaotic? These words are by no means empty words. Decades later, one incident confirmed that one of the catering committee members who sold the meal tickets unexpectedly transformed into a member of the Legislative Council.His behavior and behavior are generally the same as I expected, but the multiplier is magnified.In the end, the ego is too inflated, so that the behavior is out of control and ruined. After this ugly experience, I was so disappointed that I vowed not to participate in group affairs any more, but to devote myself to art that I could control and that I was interested in. I used to sew clothes and tie glasses with iron wire, and the handwork was very delicate.Once, by accident, I twisted a wire into a bicycle about an inch and a half long, lifelike.For the sake of refinement, I found a very thin hollow plastic thread in various thicknesses and colors.On the outside of the frame made of iron wire, various colorful plastic lines are put on, which is lifelike.The tires are all black to preserve its authenticity. The wheels are connected to the axle, and the axle ring is connected around a pin so that it can be easily rotated.The handle is made of bright paper clips, which are separated from the body, and all the mechanisms that should be movable are assembled separately. Because the proportion is the same as the real car, and the whole car is only more than two inches long, so the accessories are painstaking.I tried to base the headlights with a powder and almost got poisoned by accident.In order to make a license plate, I drove late at night to carve characters with embroidery needles, and my eyes were almost blinded. I also made some tricycles, with brocade spread on hard paper to make the body, and then a silk scarf as the canopy, and the canopy frame can be folded.Putting several together, we often let it slide on the tilting desk and play racing games. The car is very popular and everyone loves it. My classmate suggested that I sell some money to solve my life problems, but I refused.I don't think these painstaking efforts can be exchanged for money. I would rather give them away, and only female classmates, because I hope that Xiao Wu will often see it.Later, more and more people called the car, and I could only make one in three or four days. If I couldn't handle it, I quit. I started to paint oil paintings, but because I couldn't afford the materials, I used linseed oil and pigment powder and prepared them myself.The frame and canvas are also made from local materials. Once I picked up a bed sheet, it was like a treasure, and I explored it one by one from the style of the Renaissance to the Fauvism.I have been busy for a while, but the foundation is not enough, and I am not satisfied no matter what I look at, so I have to give up halfway. In fact, I have been fascinated by oil painting since high school, and I also use paint powder, using myself as a model.At that time, my room was very small, and I could only fit a bed. Of course, these things did not bother me. I put a big mirror by the bedside, and then I lay down on the bed and taught myself to draw in front of the mirror. The advantage of oil painting is that you are not afraid of making mistakes, you can paint and change it continuously, and if the oil paint is too thick, you can scrape it off and start over.For a person who has no teacher to ask for, his own judgment is the best teacher.At the beginning, anyway, the painting should be similar, otherwise it is not good.Only when I gained experience slowly did I know that we should pay attention to the use of color, style of writing, etc., and slowly and step by step. There is a cousin, Chen Yujie, who is very grateful to her father for helping her.She saw my self-portrait and insisted on buying it. She stuffed a hundred yuan in my pocket, but she didn't take the painting away.I didn't know until later that there are some masters who never sold a few paintings throughout their lives. Who has my luck? Logically, I am likely to become a painter. Among other things, I have a strong sense of aesthetics.But under a merciless blow, I was so embarrassed that I lost interest in it. A friend of my father also admired my paintings, so he introduced me to take the works to Manager Liang of Guohua Advertising Company.At that time, I painted a total of three paintings, all of which were large in size. The frames were nailed up by myself, and the canvases were mended with rags.I rode my bicycle and worked hard to move those picture frames until I found that Manager Liang. As soon as he saw the letter of introduction, he got angry: who did he think he was!Just looking for trouble with me!He pushed the picture frame in my hand impatiently, who knew that the wooden strips that were almost rotten turned into a pile of tatters in an instant: is this called painting?Would you mind showing it to me?What a joke!wasting my time! It turns out that painting also requires capital, and selling paintings requires consideration of face, forget it, I can't do this business! The school choir invited a famous conductor from central China to guide the school, and of course I would not miss it.I watched him teach for a few days, just playing along with the piano and letting everyone sing along.I was dissatisfied, so I deliberately composed a piece of music and asked him for advice, but he actually said that he didn't know how to compose.Disappointed, I didn't even go to the choir. what can i doExcept for the little bicycle, but that's not art, it's craft at best.I really want to concentrate on an art I love, but I don't have a learning environment, and I can't figure out the direction.Speaking of it, I know a little bit about everything, but actually I know everything. During this period, I was very hesitant, dissatisfied with the environment, and even more disappointed with myself.Coupled with the impact of Xiao Wu's incident and the long-term drag of bronchitis, he was extremely depressed physically and mentally. This was the end of the third semester, when I went back to Taipei and fell ill at the station. After receiving the favor of the unknown person, I felt the warmth of the world again.I believe that my father's strictness to me is by no means ruthless and unjust, but that he expects too much from me and cannot tolerate my willful behavior.I also believe that if my father saw a strange young man lying on the side of the road one day, he would also give generously. I have a lot of opportunities to make money, but I wait for my father to help me because I think I am high-spirited. Is this attitude correct?As for the environment, others can adapt, only I am dissatisfied with this, picky about that, who is to blame? I decided to cheer up, and just before the end of the term, all associations will hold activities to send off the big brothers and sisters who have graduated this year.This year, I was also the director-general of the three associations, and it happened to be merged and managed, which was unprecedentedly lively. I was the last director-general of the Kunlun Society, and I still have some influence.The momentum of the Kunlun Club was ranked first in the school at that time, with more than 200 members.In addition, there are more than a dozen members in the brass band I am in charge of, eight members in the Diyuan Art Club, and although there are no members in the Music Appreciation Club, there are three executives.The total number of people is about three hundred, and the momentum is quite large. I have seen an American movie depicting a garden fair, and I admired the atmosphere, the fun and laughter.I spent a few days planning, I believe we can do it, the only worry is the money.But poor people have their own way of playing. I calculated carefully, and I can do it with about one thousand yuan. Except for the Kunlun Society, I can absolutely make decisions about other societies.According to the statistics, there are still more than 200 yuan in all the existing funds, and each person only needs to pay another 5 yuan to send the old ones back. However, the directors of the Kunlun Society disagreed. Some people criticized that I had just finished running the People's Commune and wanted to make steel by indigenous methods.This kind of garden party is just a gimmick in the movie, how can we qualify? I have a big heart disease. I am most afraid of inferiority and self-pity. Why are we not qualified?Based on their concept, I have to do it no matter what. Based on my experience in club activities, I understand the mentality of the participants.In the activities I hosted, I never arranged for anyone to speak, a game with few people when there were few people, and a game with many people and many people.I have a small notebook. Every time the students have fun, they will become the materials for the next improvement.Over the past two years, I have recorded more than 50 kinds of amusement programs.In the same semester, every party has a fresh theme unless the game is the most popular. If there is no competition in the event, the attendees will not feel engaged.But there is no winner or loser in the game, so everyone is not interested.Since I am afraid of competitions and cannot avoid such activities, I often act as a full-time host with a detached attitude. For this garden fair, I have selected 15 kinds of entertainment competitions, which do not require much money, and the real cost is on the prizes.No matter how much it is worth, under the lure of prizes, even if it is just two people guessing, it is extremely exciting.It is this kind of psychology that people like to gamble. For example, arranging the chairs in the auditorium into a maze, you can direct it; making lantern riddles is just to collect some information; The ducks that arrive can be added to the dishes; the reason for taking pictures in disguise is because there are two master photographers, Zhuang Ling and Dong Min, and there is no need to pay wages Why can't we have a good time?Of course, the atmosphere when playing is the most important.For this reason, I asked the female students to make a thousand small candle lanterns.The method is extremely simple, as long as you cut the colored cellophane, stick paper on the top and bottom, and insert birthday candles in the middle. I have experimented, and one person can paste one hundred pieces a day, and more than thirty female students can complete the work in one or two days.In addition to lanterns, ribbons, hydrangeas, etc. are also added to increase the beauty.This kind of candlelight garden party, in the imagination, is full of figures, colorful, and background music, it must be very interesting. More importantly, I want everyone to put on makeup to enhance the mood, otherwise no entry is allowed. After I explained the whole plan to everyone, there were no voices of opposition, but everyone had a dubious look on their faces.Behind that terrible, unconfident gaze, all the genes for possible failure have been hidden.A chill in my heart, I feel a chill, is this our future? Unfortunately, to this day, all my plans and ideas cast exactly the same shadow in the eyes of our fellow man.Even though I have repeatedly proved with actions that we can do it, the sorrow after the complete loss of national self-confidence cannot be overcome by reason. The rise and fall of a country or group is just a chance.For the laggards, because everyone is lagging behind, only one person or a few people see hope, such a low probability is impossible to have an effect.In a society where everyone is sleeping, those who wake up alone will always be accompanied by loneliness. Of course, I can't blame others.I think too fast, see too far, and have an inferiority complex.If you want to do it, you have to be number one in the world. Unfortunately, I was born at an untimely time, and not many people know me.It also seemed to be cursed by the heavens. Most of the people who really understood me were powerless and unable to help. If the time is not up, all efforts will be in vain.However, if you wait blindly and refuse to work hard at ordinary times, you may not be able to grasp the opportunity when the time comes.I understand better than anyone else that if you want to achieve the supreme merit, you must go through various trials.Whether I am really valuable depends on whether I can persist to the end, as long as I don't deceive myself, what else are there to be afraid of? Based on the experience of the failure of the previous catering group, I was very careful in the selection of personnel this time.The staff must first volunteer to participate, and then consider their personal abilities and talents. The tasks have also been strictly studied and judged, and then they are determined and then acted upon. At this time, a windfall came into my hands.Among the brass instruments I bought for school, a piccolo didn't match the specifications I ordered, and I insisted on returning it.But the manufacturer could not be found anywhere, and the school decided to accept it after considering it for a long time, so I stopped pursuing it.Unexpectedly, a few months later, the manufacturer automatically sent me 1,000 yuan, saying that the homework was wrong at that time, and asked me not to tell the school.Because if anyone is held accountable, everyone will be in trouble. I was petrified, a thousand dollars!For me, it is really an astronomical figure, and of course it should be returned to the school.However, it has been so long, the acceptance procedures have long been completed, and there is a lot of trouble in handing in.If I have this money, it will be of great help to me!You can go to restaurants to eat dozens of meals, you can buy a few new clothes, yes. At least my dirty and smelly stigma will be cleared, why should I hand it back? can i do thisA person who has always been self-proclaimed, actually betrayed his personality for a thousand yuan.In the long years of this life, how many more irresistible temptations lie ahead?After opening an example once, there will be a second time of self-forgiveness. After tasting the taste of money, it will be difficult to face a difficult life in the future. Can there be an exception?Only the manufacturer and I know about this matter, and I believe he will never disclose it.Life is only once, so what does it matter?If you hand over the money to prove your innocence, will the school believe it?Besides, the manufacturer had good intentions. After such a long time, he could have swallowed the money.Just because he admitted his mistake, I told the school that he gave it to me. Although I became a hero, can the school still believe in his honesty? As for after receiving the money?If the matter is exposed, the consequences will be unimaginable.Even if no one knows, I can't lie to myself. How much difference is there between me and those who I despise? I kept going back and forth in my mind, and subconsciously, it was best to just reject, but what could the rejection prove?Pretending not to know?Still dare not take this responsibility? That manufacturer is obviously a master. He told me that the money is temporarily placed with me, and I will consider it slowly.He still has urgent matters, if you have any questions, you can go to his shop to discuss, and then walk away. He is gone, but the war left to me is not over. Ask yourself, I am not a person who sticks to the rules.Not loving money is just the result of the environment, and it is a habit, not really blind to money.In the past, due to the influence of family background and martial arts novels, an illusory inner fortress was established, relying on spiritual improvement, ignoring material needs.Of course I need money, even more than most people need money.It's just that I have set an ultimate goal, right and wrong are the same thing, and the physical pain will pass, but my behavior cannot escape the judgment of conscience. And what is my goal?It has nothing to do with right and wrong, nor good or evil.I want to experience everything in life and pursue the supreme truth of the universe.But there is a phenomenon that I don't need to pursue. I already know it well, and that is the selfishness of human nature.If I also swallowed the money for my own selfish desires, but pretended to be pursuing the truth, then who in this world is not? If I can use this money for meaningful things and benefit more people, it will be better than giving it back to that businessman.Of course, this is still illegal by the general standards of society.However, I am the one who breaks the law, and I am the one who is punished. As long as there are many people who benefit, I can have a clear conscience in terms of my purpose in life. It just so happens that I want to hold an event, the purpose of which is not just for fun, but to give students some ideas and let everyone know that as long as we are willing, there is nothing we cannot do.This kind of psychological construction is not only the basis of personal success or failure, but also the foundation of the rise and fall of the whole society and the country. This is the biggest difference between me and normal people.I value concepts, not details. As long as the principles and direction are correct, I will move forward bravely, regardless of the consequences, regardless of success or failure, and will never compromise. However, I don't have a deep understanding of my attitude towards money. In the past, without money, of course it was easy to be arrogant.When I was a food committee member, all the money was handled by Lao Ren, and I never touched it.It is not difficult to refuse the money, but the difficult thing is that if you accept it, the money will be yours.With the risk of being known by the school and the price of tarnishing my reputation, what will my psychological state be like at that time? First of all, I assume that this money should belong to everyone, and never use it on myself, and see how I react psychologically.At the same time, I also want to know if I can face it calmly in case something happens. In order to accept a further test, I decided to keep the money and use it all as a fund for this event.I told myself that the price has been paid, and all the experience of this event should be kept in my heart.Only in the future when I can turn these experiences into valuable cognitions is the only reward. If you have money in hand, how should you use it?Even if it is distributed to everyone, there are more than 200 people, each of which is only five yuan.No one but me, the unbelievably poor man, would give five dollars much thought.The school has so-called work-study grants, poverty-stricken scholarships, mainland relief funds, etc. Students from poor families will get some subsidies to some extent.I am the only one who comes from a prominent family but lives in poverty, and is often penniless. It is absolutely not worth spending money on decoration.Because with the current design method, the cost is not much, and the best marginal benefit has been reached.After much deliberation, more money may not be of great help, at best, buying more prizes and improving the atmosphere of entertainment.On the contrary, my psychological pressure has increased, and the requirements for the entire design have become higher. I went to the market to check, and found that if the purchases are concentrated in various wholesale stores, items with an amount of more than 100 yuan can be cheaper by about a quarter.If the prize is purchased for 1,500 yuan, it is actually worth 2,000 yuan.The rest of the money can be used to strengthen some amusement stalls, for example, to set up some snack bars, ice cream shops, fruit stands, etc. The whole preparation time was only more than a week. I listed all the tasks in a general table and tracked the progress of each group on time.On the day before the garden fair, everything went well. The female students finished all the lights, ribbons, and signs.Tickets for admission and banknotes for entertainment are also very beautifully printed and have already been distributed.All kinds of prizes are purchased, packaged properly, and numbered one by one, piled up like a mountain, there are more than 500 pieces in total.I remember the grand prize was a small radio, and the smallest prizes were handkerchiefs, ballpoint pens, etc. The male students were in charge of the scene, and the preparations that should have been made in advance were generally proper. It's just that some students, although they volunteered, still had doubts.In order to show that they had foresight, they decided to read my jokes, and they were unwilling to invest in doing things.The attitude is also indifferent, and there are often rumors that they keep complaining: We are college students, and we still do this kind of joke. I got angry when I heard this, what is child's play?Claiming to be a college student, if you can't even do this simple job well, it's child's play!At that time, I thought it was because the standard of our school was not enough that there were these ignorant people.It wasn't until later that I discovered that there are many such pretentious people in society, with high eyes and low hands, and they can only see the sky at the mouth of their own wells.Just because of ignorance, I can't grasp the key points when doing things, and choose between the two, which is not practical!This is the tragedy of all modern Chinese intellectuals. The entire education system has completely lost its proper function. Because of the backwardness of knowledge, young people who have been baptized by knowledge often pretend to be superior to others.They absolutely disdain to do work that they consider unimportant. They just want to talk and don't want to do it.If there is an important job, everyone scrambles to be the first, not the job itself, but the important position.However, anything important is the accumulation of unimportant details.If you don't do it yourself, you will never have a concept, and you will never be able to lead others. What's worse, they don't know how to do the work, and they are unwilling to learn and try, because they will be laughed at if they fail.So just do what's in your job, and what's in your job?It is all based on one's own subjective determination.Then, like spectators, they sit on the sidelines and wait to see other people's jokes.If someone else succeeds, they say it's luck.If you fail, you will put on a foresight posture, domineering, wishing to take the opportunity to get back all the grievances you have suffered in your life. A classmate who was in charge of the duck set game bought the ducks, but the feet were still tied. The ducks were half dead and half alive, and the rings were not done, looking very tidy. I asked him: What about your work, have you finished it? What's wrong?There are only dozens of ferrules left, and it will take half a day. According to the schedule, you should finish it today. If you entrust me with responsibility, you should trust me. Yes, we agreed to finish it today, and it is because I trust you that I come to check now.I am very disapproving of his attitude. Haven't passed today yet!It's not wrong for me to do it at night.He speaks eloquently. This is due to my inexperience. Very good, I have learned a lesson, and I need to be more precise in setting the schedule in the future.I asked again: OK, so what about the duck?Like this, can you still move tomorrow? What do you want me to do?I bought it for you today, isn't this already on schedule? I suppressed my temper and said: You should find a place, let them move around, feed them a little, so that they will be energetic tomorrow. Who do you think I am?He actually pre-empted the attack, and said loudly with confidence: I am here to study in college, not to put ducks on you! I couldn't bear it no matter what, and cursed at my mouth: I don't know why!If you want to come to read dead books, don't participate in club activities!When the job was given to you at the beginning, you could refuse it. Now, what kind of shit are you talking about? How dare you scold me?How old are you?The classmates next to us all surrounded us and separated us, for fear that we would use force. Fortunately, I have prepared for it. Before the work, I agreed to give everyone who participated in the work a week's public holiday, but if the work is not effective, the public holiday will be revoked immediately.When I was angry, I sacrificed my magic weapon: I am not old!You go to study!The duck-set booth is free, and your public holiday is also cancelled! After I finished speaking, I turned around and left. I really look down on this kind of person. 後來來了幾位同學，代他道歉，不論如何這個公假不能撤消。因為他打算留學，任何分數都要爭取。這次藉著公假之便，他回家玩了幾天，如果取消，就是曠課了。不僅品行要扣分，留學的機會也將受到影響。 我並無意為難他，只要求他把工作做好，就便也讓同學們轉告這位準學者，將來衣錦榮歸之際，個人的名利雖然可以放在前面，但該負起的責任還是不該推卸。 另外一位負責買生日蠟燭的同學，也沒有如期買到蠟燭。這次燭光會的氣氛全靠這一千個小燈籠，所以我只分派給他一件工作，就是設法買一萬支生日蠟燭。 我知道一萬支不是小數目，特別打聽過，要先找生產廠商預定才行。光是這些蠟燭，就花了一百多元，佔了全部佈置經費的百分之五，足証其重要性。 那位同學看我著急的樣子，他竟然說：急什麼？沒有蠟燭，可以用電燈呀！電燈更亮些！ 我真被他氣昏了：用電燈？那叫什麼燭光園遊晚會？ 那改名叫做電燈園遊晚會好了。他嘻皮笑臉地說。 我一句話都說不出來，還未出師，大勢已去。使我深深憬悟到，不論多好的事，如果沒有參與者的共識，絕對沒有成功的希望。 我只好叫他把錢拿出來，另外找人連夜去採購。 第二天一大早，第一件事我便問他蠟燭買了多少，那位同學說訂到了兩千多支，約好下午去拿。兩千多支，每支大約可以點十分鐘，如果節省著用，只點二百個燈，也可以維持一個多小時。我只吩咐他想法多買一點，多花錢都無所謂。而且還一再交待，今夜的成敗完全在他的身上，他也保証絕對達成使命。 我們出動了二十多人，在第一棟教室（那時尚未蓋成大樓）與女生宿舍之間，動手工作起來。到了下午，各攤位一一就緒，女同學們把各色彩帶及透明的小燈籠分別掛起。立時景觀大不相同，遠遠望去，在綠蔭覆蓋之下，妍紅艷紫，花群簇擁。玻璃紙做的燈籠，散掛在各處，有如彩色晶球，在斜日的映照下，閃閃發光。 工作人員滿身大汗，但都掩不住欣悅的神色。我一一巡視，大致不差，可是不知為什麼，心中一片陰影，始終揮之不去。還有什麼會導致失敗？我一步一步的思考，實在想不出任何情況來。這就叫做經驗，這也是經驗的價值所在，我是生平第一次辦這樣龐大的活動，即使是天才，也不可能知道所不知道的情況。 獎品佈置好了，精美的包裝、堂皇的陳設，那是重心所在，是我釣魚的餌。只有讓參與者感到那種吸引力，他們才會投入，才能烘托出歡樂的氣氛來。 到了下午六點，一切完全按照進度，大致都很妥當。眼看著現場參與工作的同學，不論男女，那副貫注投入的精神，令我感動非常。這些人是可愛的，他們的勞苦不只是這些而已，整個晚上的各項服務也都靠他們的奉獻，幾百支蠟燭這邊熄了，那邊點起。攤位上的工作不能離開，得獎品的是別人，而擔負責任的是他們。 沒有這些人的犧牲和努力，怎麼會有別人的歡笑？我今天沒有力量報答，只有無情的督促、要求，已經做得很好了，我還希望更好。沒有人抱怨，沒有人偷懶，每個人都盡了全力，我們融合成了一體、一心。有朝一日，我一定要給他們十倍百倍的報償，當然，如果我有那種能力的話。 晚會預定七點半開始，九點結束。到了六點半，參加工作的女同學們先回去化裝，我則戴了頂牛仔帽，臉上塗黑，反正還要工作，這種化裝再適合不過。小班長扮成鐵拐李，莊靈則扮成獨眼海盜，其餘大胖、老師、財主都各有特色。我們工作了一整天，特別能感受到這種輕鬆的樂趣。 蠟燭還沒有買到，我加派了三組人去催，又找了兩組人分頭去買。我一再囑咐他們，不怕多，只怕沒有。 套鴨的圈子倒是做好了，但明顯的是敷衍塞責，細竹子沒有剖開，只是繞成一圈。每個起碼有一斤重，別說鴨子，連套人都有生命危險。八隻鴨子更是免提了，還能活著已是奇跡，我臨時決定取消這一攤位。 冰淇淋是送來了，可是送得太早，又放在普通的保溫箱中，已經開始溶化。 小食攤的同學們還在忙著生火，整個會場炊煙迷漫，平添一片霧濛濛的效果。我不忍責備他們，沒有人做過廚子，一個個眼睛都被薰紅了，而火始終燃不起來。 到了七點，開始清場，場外已聚集了不少看熱鬧的同學。他們都不是社友，人人臉上露著羨慕的神色。甚至有人來問可不可以買票，限於學校規定，我愛莫能助。 女同學們連袂出來了，每個人都化裝得宛若天仙，俏麗非凡。我的眼睛只看到小吳，她一身潔白的素妝，長裙曳地，腰間別著一朵紅花，頭上戴了一頂寬邊洋帽。她實在很美，尤其是歪著頭，嘴角掛著淺淺的微笑，直把我的魂勾到了九霄雲外。 快七點半了，夜幕已經垂了下來，會場上朦朦一片。蠟燭還沒有到，我急得發慌，身上已經沒有錢了，而且再去買也來不及。不得已，只好叫同學們去找檯燈和延長線，果真那位同學一語成讖，燭光晚會變成電燈晚會了。 最讓我受不了的，是除了工作的同學在百忙中都化了裝外，所有應邀參加的會友，竟然沒有一個人化裝！而且個個穿著學生制服，彷彿來上課一般！ 我指著請柬上寫的幾個大字：未經化裝，不得入場，問他們看不看得懂？有位同學振振有詞說： 我沒有衣服可以化裝。 我說：化裝要什麼衣服呢？又不是比美。 那你教我吧。 我指著自己黑黑的臉，說：這不是化裝嗎？ 他們都笑了起來：這樣就追不到女朋友了，我不幹。 那你們戴頂帽子，不穿制服總可以吧？ 那麼麻煩？ 麻煩？我們辛苦了幾天，為的是讓你們玩個痛快，只請你換件衣服還嫌麻煩？ 我們繳了錢，有權來玩，為什麼一定要化裝？有位同學居然談起權利來。 你繳了五塊錢，就覺得有權利了？這種規定不是今天才訂的，你為什麼不早點提出反對的意見？我火氣又升起來了。 是你規定的，我為什麼要同意？ 我忍無可忍，大吼：好吧！你的五塊錢還給你，你去看場電影吧！不幸的是我滿身掏來掏去，每個口袋都空空如也，大家看到我那副窘態，都笑了起來。 最後有個同學出面說：老朱，你又不是不知道，我們生平沒有化過裝，真的不知道該怎樣化法。 又有人插口道：要是人人都學你，我們不成了黑人晚會了嗎？ 我聽了也是好笑，有什麼辦法呢？是我多事，自不量力，目的不是要讓大家快樂嗎？forget it!只好網開一面，讓大家都進來了。 蠟燭還沒有買來，會場上已是一片人頭，還好有檯燈，每個有燈光的地方都圍滿了人。看來他們並不在乎有沒有燭光，看到獎品時，心跳的頻率仍是一樣高。我的腦海已被想了幾天的設計佔有了，沒有燭光，我就覺得沒有韻味。 樂隊要演奏了，我必須去吹小喇叭，管不了這許多。大家爬上了搖搖晃晃、由課桌拼成的音樂台，人人都怕摔倒，樂聲顫顫抖抖的展開了序幕。 這時我又領略到，樂隊的演奏是個失敗的節目。平常缺乏練習，音樂變成了鬼叫。吹了兩個曲子，反正台下也沒有聽眾，我識相地叫大家去玩。 沒有蠟燭，心中很不安寧。 終於有一位同學趕回來了，他買到了幾十支，我立刻找人先把燈謎的攤位點起來。 果然不同，那些小燈閃出了各色的微光，在樹梢下串成了一圈若明若暗的小天地。人們紛紛擠在燈旁，掀起那些精心收集的謎語，交頭接耳地胡猜起來。 禮堂那邊負責的同學急忙地來找我，說同學們為了要得禮券，都從椅子上翻過，沒有人肯走迷宮。我發現這又是一個錯誤，誰願意來被迷路呢？ 中國人小聰明特多，極端現實，為達目的，不擇手段，有捷徑不走，那才是傻瓜哩！ 我趕到禮堂，已有一大堆同學在等著領禮券。我一到，就有人投訴說負責人不負責，害他等了半天，浪費了好多時間。還有人說他已經走了三次，應該發三張禮券！ 我不動聲色，先把迷宮部門關閉，不讓別人進入。然後說：各位不要擔心，這個迷宮是我精心設計的，有任何同學是真正走過來的，我負責給五張禮券，否則一張都沒有。 大家面面相覷，有人說：你怎麼能証明我們是不是走過來的呢？ 很簡單，第一次能走過來的人，一定能再走一次。 走一次要很長的時間，我們還要去別的地方玩。 不錯，我算過，真的走一趟差不多要十幾分鐘，我雖然很忙，為了不冤枉好人，還是願意在這裡陪著大家，想要投機取巧，對不起，免談！我態度堅決。 大家交頭接耳，考慮了一下，都知難而退，竟然沒有一個人願意試上一試。 小吃攤的濃煙密布，嗆得人人東逃西奔，火卻沒有升起來。而今天準備賣的食物都是油炸的，油炸要火旺，抱歉，只好提前收攤。 冰淇淋被購買一空，原因是由原來的固態成了液態，乾脆大家拿去當牛奶喝，三杯兩杯就清潔溜溜了。 最忙的是莊靈的照相攤，從一開始就大排長龍。倒不是為了照個化裝的相片留念，而是大家認為反正花的是假錢，不妨乘機照張登記照。 八點多蠟燭才到，那位同學不敢來見我。由於他認為任務非常非常地簡單，上街以後，一看時間還早，大可先去玩個痛快。料不到玩得太痛快，居然把該做的事全給忘了。若非找他的幾批人，好不容易在台中的人海中，把他給逮到，很可能要等到街上人群都散盡了，他才會想起這麼簡單的任務。 只剩下半個多鐘頭了，原來負責點蠟燭的同學也不知去向，我趕忙隨便抓些人，分途去點蠟燭。一時間火柴成為寵物，幾個吸煙的同學，成了大家追求的對象。 反正已經到了這個地步，還有什麼好說的？我坐在一棵樹下，眼看一點一點燭光綴成的彩色繁星，閃爍在會場的各個角落，禁不住感慨叢生。 理想只是存在於個人腦海中的一點火花，在沒有點燃以前，沒有幾個人會看得到它。現在滿目燈光燦燦，如同一片水晶閃耀的世界，身歷其境的人不會感覺不到那種情調，但是卻不知道他們享受的成果正是理想的實現。因為他們已經溶化在那種情調中，至於為什麼如此，卻無心去體會，自然就也不知道了。 宇宙中有什麼不是如此呢？造物者為人類安排了良好的環境，人生活在其中，卻從來不知道究竟是什麼使他們愉快、幸福。一直要等到他們失去了那些習以為常的必需物，才能理解其重要性。然而，一旦恢復正常，人們又不知道珍惜了。 一個一個攤位都因獎品發光而收攤了，由大家眉飛色舞的神采中，可以感覺他們相當滿意。對我卻不然，因為理想永遠是那麼遙遠，那麼可望而不可及。 最後，在獎品堆積如山的康樂室前，同學們自動地排好了隊，各持著獎券，等待抽獎。抽獎才是又刺激又興奮的壓軸好戲，我似乎永遠與別人所看到的不一樣。為什麼不論在任何角落，不論什麼情況，只要有人，總少不了個人的私欲呢？ 我一直認為這些參與工作的同學是偉大的、無私的，他們犧牲了自己的時間，大家同甘共苦，只為了服務他人。我也特別保留了一部分獎券，作為對他們的報償。但卻嚴格規定，在遊戲完畢後應將剩餘的獎券交出，以便統籌處理。現在快要抽獎了，除了少數幾位以外，其他的都沒有交回。 或許是真的發送光了，也可能是認為留幾張不傷大雅，更可能的卻是中飽了私囊，故意藉機圖利！ 記得在家中時，有一次聽到一位客人對父親說：懷公，您為國家貢獻了不少，又是黨國元老，就算撈一筆也是應該的。看看別人，看看您自己，您這樣有什麼好處？ 父親平靜地說：國家沒有虧待過我呀，有幾個人能像我這樣生活無愁？還需要什麼？ 不論父親怎樣對我，我對他的尊敬是與日俱增，或許正因為有他這個榜樣，我才能免於循私苟且。 為什麼做了一件應該做的工作，就自認為有權攫取非法的利益呢？大學生是天之驕子，一進入社會就比一般人享有更多的機會。未來的國家在他們的手中，未來的社會也待他們去服務，在應得的報償之外，為什麼還不知足？還要強佔別人的利益？今天已是如此，在更大的利益當前時，又當如何？ 大家都很快樂地抽著獎，每個人抱著一堆禮物，笑著鬧著，我還能說什麼？ 第二天，我們舉行慶功宴，招待參與工作的所有同學，把剩下的鴨子和食物作了菜。我在會中破例的發表了幾句話的演說，我說再也不參加任何社團活動。人人都很驚訝，但誰也改變不了我的決心。 第三天，學校傳出了各種不滿之聲。有人說我循私，買了鴨子和食物自己吃，獎品分配也不公，大多由主辦的人瓜分了。還有人說我像個暴君，對同學蠻橫無理。 我沒有解釋，也無需解釋，我唯一的安慰是通過了金錢的考驗。而意外的收穫，則是發現了即使是神仙下凡，也不可能使人人滿意。 為什麼國家的最高學府，竟然培養出這種人材？將來進入社會，除了爭權奪利外，還能做些什麼？可能是我們學校水準太差吧，但願如此。 等我出了校門，進了社會，再見到其他的高級知識份子，才發覺農學院到底是些土頭土腦，起不了大作用的騃子。 如果說人本來就是自私、無知的，我則認為過去雖烈，於今為最。Why?我認識不少長一輩的人，他們受限於過去的環境，即使讀過大學，現代知識卻有限，加上曾受禮教的束縛，想要搞鬼也放不開手腳。而我們這一批受了新時代洗禮的天之驕子，知識不見得有多精通，但是做人做事，卻是任性放縱，只顧自己！ 我曾經為世態把過脈，診斷出其間的罪魁禍首，即是教育制度！ 一九七四年，有天我偶然遇到一位朋友，他在教育部服務，算得上是位有心人。我們談來談去，談到了教育，他說：我們的教育制度，完全是大學聯考害的。他找到了代罪羔羊。 why?我在探他的底。 因為只考一次，就決定了學子們的前途，太可怕了。 這種似是而非的謬論，是當代知識份子的特色，知道有錯，卻往往不知道錯在哪裡。為了表示自己有見解，便順手牽羊，找隻最容易被責難的羔羊。 你的意思是，多考幾次，教育制度就完善了？ 當然不是，但是會有些改善。 改善了什麼？ 比如說，各校出的題目不一樣，對一些人會公平些。 那麼聯考時，多綜合參考一些不同範圍的題目，不就解決了嗎？ 不那麼簡單。He persisted. 怎麼不簡單法？請示其詳？ 總之，我們換個話題好不好，這些太乏味。 不，我一向喜歡探索真相，我不認為聯招有什麼不好！ ah?他大吃一驚，居然有人看法不同：那你說說看！ 首先，我們要界定一下，你我對教育失敗的看法是否相同，是學生知識水準不夠？是為人處世能力缺乏？是道德情操破產？還是體魄羸弱不健康？ 他想了想，說：我覺得都有。 既然如此，多考幾次能解決哪一項缺失？ 我棄權，你說呢？ 我再問你，德、智、體、群四育，真是教育的大前提嗎？ 應該是吧，至少我們是朝這個方向做。 就四件事，做到沒有呢？ 很難說他開始支吾其詞。 不難說，因為前面你所同意失敗的四個項目，就是德、智、體、群！ Yeah?他很難為情，又想了想，只好點頭不語。 這些不能怪你們，人非生而知之者，乃學而知之者。過去學校就沒有盡到責任，貴部哪個不是從這類學校出來，身在此山中，雲深怎知處？ 要批評很容易，你能談談你的高見嗎？ 我認為升學主義不是壞事，中國這個歷史古國之所以有今天，就是幾千年下來，國人以讀書為上之故。現在有人動不動就標榜美國如何如何，我只奉上一句話，不要太淺視，不妨再看二十年。 I agree with this. 問題在學校教育的目的，誰能升學？具備什麼條件才能升學？我賣個關子。 是呀，可是他不知如何接口。 既然考試是篩選的手段，考試的科目，才是答案。我故意等他自己開口。 你是說要考音樂？體育？品行？太荒謬了吧！ 因為你們已經設了限，所以覺得荒謬，如果荒謬，學校為什麼要教？剛才你還口口聲聲說是朝這個方向做，怎麼一談到要考試就荒謬了呢？這不是更荒謬的事嗎？ Don't you know?很多明星學校根本是陽奉陰違，不教這些沒用的科目了？ Useless?我故意大聲吼著：你這不是自欺欺人嗎？是誰說德、體、群沒有用？教育部？學校當局？還是你？你們故意把考大學的範圍，限制在一些死的、全靠記憶的、不能靈活應用的資料上，天下還有什麼有用！這樣，教育會不徹底失敗嗎？ 不，不，我是說這些科目很難考。 怎麼難考法？ 你不知道至少，過去沒有前例 我看他張口結舌，何必呢？責任又不在他身上，國家將亡，必有妖孽。愚昧的時代，愚人當道，整個世界污煙瘴氣，也不僅僅是我們的國家、我們的教育出了問題而已。 我知道，你也作不了主。我們是不是該換一個題目？談談男女大事如何？ （２００８年１０月再校註：十餘年來，台灣歷經三任民選總統：一奸一貪一懦，迄今亂相畢陳、國勢日非！台灣由亞洲一條龍變成海島蚯蚓。再觀此文，正是：一因一果，時到自報！）